 Why do Narcissus try so hard and then sabotage? It's very weird, isn't it? I mean if you imagine a child on the beach and the child is building a sand castle They're spending all of their time To build this castle out of sand Maybe it takes them an hour and then when it's finally completed What do they do? They kick it down They kick the sand castle down after they've just spent about an hour building it and Yeah, how it pertains with the narcissist is they get in these relationships and And They do put some level of effort even if it's just into the manipulation tricking you That does take a lot of work so they do that and They could spend months or even years Putting you under their spell Locking you down And for what just so it can end Just so they can cheat on you leave you What's the point in that? You may be thinking and the reason why it sounds so crazy For someone to spend all of their time Building something Just to destroy it Yeah, it sounds crazy, but that's only because You're looking at it from a normal person's perspective You need to look at it through the eyes of a narcissist Because when you do that It will make a lot of sense And that's what we're gonna do right now So by the end of this video You will understand why they try so hard and then sabotage Okay, so here it goes Narcissists are very insecure the very jealous and competitive That's why they're always in opposition to you. They're always trying to compete with you They're always trying to gain an advantage the upper hand They've just got to be better than you are all costs, but they targeted you originally because in Their minds they thought you were the best They thought you were the best choice of everyone. That's where they got with you They only pick the best of the best. They don't want anything less But the problem is due to their insecurities and deficiencies After they had been with you for a certain amount of time They start to become very envious and jealous They started to compete with you They started to insult you and put you down devalue you and degrade you and Just over a wall trying to make you feel small and it may seem like they're sabotaging Especially when they finally discard you and move on to someone else and triangulate you That may seem like sabotage and of course from a normal person's point of view it is But in their minds they're winning when they lie to you When they cheat on you when they steal from you When they do everything they can to try to destroy you in their minds that is them winning Any normal person would look at it and think that is losing But they don't see it that way Because remember everything is about them As long as they feel like they're getting something or they're getting over on someone In their minds that's a victory So that's it. That's really why they try so hard and then sabotage I mean when they first met you they had all of these fantasies of who you are and what you're going to be and do for them But it just never panned out in reality because it was an impossible expectation This image of perfection that you could never live up to And that's why later on in the relationship it's all about They're bringing these fantasies to you about someone else and how they're so much better than you They're so perfect And you're just a piece of shit The reason why they're doing that is because all along they had this image of you This mental Snapshot that they took of you in the beginning Of how you were this image of perfection And I know that sounds crazy, but that is really How they first saw you But you could never live up to that And don't feel bad. Don't don't feel like you're not good enough. No one can There's no one watching this video right now And I couldn't no one could live up to that impossible expectation Of perfection so It may seem like sabotage, but They see it as though Who cares? It's no loss. It's the only loss is A problem this Loser who isn't good enough for me Who could never be perfect That's really how these arrogant delusional narcissists think of us That we could just never be good enough for them They never looked themselves and see that they never did anything Anytime that thought pops up in the head. They have to push that away They don't want anything to do with that but yeah, that's where they sabotage because It's all of these things like you couldn't Live up to this image of perfection that they expected you to be You couldn't do everything that they want you to do Because that's all it's about is just being their fool their doormat their punching bag And you start to question and confront them. You no longer validated the illusions of their false self You start to see them as they actually are It's like you were holding a mirror up to them By the end of the relationship you were showing them who they actually are and they didn't want to see that They were like, no, no take that away I don't want to see a reflection on myself. That's the last thing I want to see Now that's why you see them at the end. They're running away And you think they're running from you, but no, they're actually running from this reflection of themselves that they want nothing to do with And the entire time they try to disown these parts of themselves that they don't like on to you and by the end of it They just couldn't do that anymore because you weren't accepting it And you were pointing out all of the things that were wrong with them So then their only option was to run away But you thought they were running from you They didn't even see you They just see you as an object a tool They never even took the time to get to know you. So how can they run away from you? The only thing they care about is themselves If there's one thing we all know about narcissists, they only care about themselves So no, they weren't running from you They were running from this reflection of themselves that they don't like And that's really it That is why they try so hard and then sabotage Don't take it personally. Yeah, there's nothing to do with you It really has nothing to do with you at all. It doesn't say anything about your value But many of us we are empaths. We take it personally We want to do better be better We want to be everything that Other people want us to be I mean, of course, we want to be that image of perfection That they expect us to be we do everything we can to try and be that And they're looking at it like we're fools We just keep trying harder and harder to please someone who doesn't even care about us Someone who even if we did attain that image of perfection that they were expecting and looking for It wouldn't change anything If anything that would make them hate you even more Because remember they don't hate you for things that you don't have They're hating on you for things that you do have That's why they're so envious and jealous and competitive Why would they try and compete with someone who doesn't even have anything? That wouldn't make any sense Even from a narcissist perspective that wouldn't make any sense So yeah, that's where to get has nothing to do with you Don't take it personally They just self sabotage everything I mean, that's just it is Even when they do find what they're looking for They find someone who Gives them whatever they want And you tolerate all of the bullshit All of the lies and manipulation All of the abuse All of the cheating all of the things they do to you you tolerate all of that But somehow they still manage to fuck it up They still do in the end And it's crazy when you think about it After everything you put up with All of the things you went through They had a really good thing going with you I mean many of us we were the Fools their doormats Their punching bags And they still Managed to mess something like that up We were completely under their spell They had us wrapped around their thumbs If they said jump We would say how high And we were literally jumping through hoops the entire time And they still messed it up And you just got to think if they can mess something like that up What chance have they got with someone else Because you were willing to do anything for them You were so loyal and committed to them They're not going to find something like that again But even if they did They would just mess it up again Because remember they had this perfect thing going with you And they still Managed to mess it up They still managed to do that So remember that Remember that Any time you feel like you've lost something You're missing out Just remember Everything you did for them Remember what you were to them And they still screwed it up They still walked out on that They got nothing coming They got nothing I can promise you that They haven't even got The qualities and abilities to build something With anyone for real anyway They'll make you believe that they do They want you to think that there's this Whole other side to their personality That you don't know about That they never wanted to share with you For whatever reason That's a load of rubbish Remember all of those times We knew you were getting fed up Of everything they were doing And you were about to walk out on them And they were pulling out all the stops They would have done anything They would have shown you that side of their personality Then If it really existed And maybe they showed you something But it was only for a short period of time Because it was fake If it was real it would be consistent It would last for a longer period of time So that's how you already know They're full of shit You already know they're not about anything I don't even need to tell you that You already know So don't even worry about that When you see them moving on When you see them Riding off to the sunset Don't think that they've moved on They never move on They've got nothing to move on to They've got nothing to move on with Move on with what? Well they take it with them They got nothing Moving on with An empty meat suit An empty vessel What good is that? What are you going to build with that? Nothing You've got to have the tools So yeah Just don't take it personally I know many of you are empaths And I know we talk about narcissists Are very sensitive to rejection But of course empaths are too We want to be loved We want to receive Kindness Empathy from other people And there's nothing wrong with that But just understand You're not going to get that from a narcissist They can only give the illusion of that It's never going to be real So yeah that's it That's why they try so hard on sabotage I hope this video was helpful If it was please give it a thumbs up It helps our community And coaching You can book a one-on-one with me Just head to my website It's NarcSurvivor.co.uk And anything else you can send me an email Coaching at NarcSurvivor.co.uk Or you can send me a message On Instagram It's NarcSurvivor YouTube Alright That's all from And Nala today She's busy to dinner Thank you all for joining me And I will talk to you in another one very soon