 Good morning everybody. It's good to see you here. I wanted to take a minute while I'm thinking about it and just thank Brian and Alexandra for heading this up. Really, really blessed by their work on making these things happen and it's nice, right? Good to come. We have tables set up. It's just, you know, it's very well done. Have bounce houses back there. I can't wait to go back there and jump around on those. It's just a nice, it would be a nice day. So thanks to Brian and Alexandra. And I know that Brian and Alexandra have a team of people helping them. I know Cheryl's been working this morning a lot. There are other people too. So thank you to you all who helped. I know there were a lot of people who did. And I'm very, very grateful for that. And also thank you for coming. I've thought about the marriage conference often over the years. You know, we've been doing this every year for a very long time. And it's helpful, right? It's one of those subjects that will occasionally come up in verse by verse exposition or will occasionally come up when we talk about certain subjects. But we don't regularly have a lengthy amount of time to deal with the subject. So this annual time together really does give us opportunity to do that and deal with subjects like Pastor Mike was saying earlier, that we don't get to deal with all the time. We haven't dealt with in years. And that's where it's really, really helpful. And so I think it is coming upon us to put ourselves under the preaching and teaching of God's word with reference to this subject on a yearly basis. You know, when there's opportunity like this, I think people ought to come. And it's a good reminder, serves as a good reminder. And also what I hope will also happen is that these topics, these subjects, fuel your thought for a period of time on this throughout the year. Things to work on, things to think about. Maybe they shape our understanding, change the way that we think about certain subjects. And I think it's really, really helpful. So thank you for coming. Please keep coming and encourage others to come. I was thinking about that too with respect to our church, the subject that Pastor Dale was covering first thing. And then Pastor Mike, I'm sure what Pastor Rick will also be covering, is really, really helpful, really, really helpful for us to counsel one another, disciple one another in the church. You know, as elders here, we do that on a regular basis. But as a church family together, I think that counseling and discipleship happens in a grassroots way among the people in the church. It's a family business counseling and discipleship. We all need it. We all need discipleship. We all need counseling at one point or another in our Christian lines. We all need it. And it's family business. It's not that we have a paid full-time professional counselor on staff at the church and you sign up for an appointment. Biblically, that's not the model. Actually, the model is that we disciple and we counsel and we help and we sharpen one another. We help one another grow. So another of the benefits, I think, of a time like this, is that you get to think about, maybe formulate your thoughts on, maybe systematize, if you will, your thoughts biblically on a specific subject that we're talking about. So when these things come up and they do and they will, frequently and often, you have the tools, if you will, to be able to help. Sit across a table from somebody and talk to them about intimacy or problems with intimacy in the marriage. You sit across the table from a young couple who's coming to you. They're courting and they're interested in marriage. And you, as a godly brother-sister, married couple that has some experience, you've been around the blocker time or two, can sit across the table from them and counsel them with respect to these subjects. And that is really, really helpful. And that's the way that we build one another up. It's the way that we care for our young people who are courting and thinking about marriage. It's how we care for brothers and sisters in the church who've been married a long time and run into bumps along the way. Or certainly, I pray, will be helpful to you personally in your own marriage, and it should be. So all those good and varied reasons for why a time like this is so important, I think, and helpful. So think, as you listen to the sessions, I think it's really good to get the big picture, to be able to think through it, organize your thoughts on that subject, understand the argument, and be able to explain it. I think it's really, really good, like maybe today over lunch. We'll break for lunch in a little bit. Over lunch, take a subject, and work through it so that you can sort of repeat what you've heard or what you understand in the Bible to be teaching. I think one of the best ways to learn and to lock it in is then to teach it and explain it. That's true of me. I praise God for the blessing of being able to do that on a weekly basis because whatever I study, I can easily, in one ear and out the other, but when I talk about it or when I teach it to someone else or explain it to someone else, there's just a way in which that locks it down. It helps me to learn, and I won't soon forget it. I used to say when I was younger, I won't forget it. That's foolish. I do forget all the time. Now that I'm older, stuff just slips out. But teaching it, explaining it, does help to remember those things, helps to retain those things. I pray that'll be a blessing to you. Over the last couple of years, my portion of the Marriage Conference has been to discuss biblical headship. That's sort of taken that progressive topic, if you will. It's been discussing the implications of biblical headship. Biblical headship and a godly marriage. We're going to build on our understanding of biblical headship and a godly marriage this morning with my topic here. I wanted to refresh our memories with where we are. If you remember from last year, we began talking about biblical headship, the responsibilities of the husband as head in particular. These things we're going to talk about also apply to wives. Ladies, don't shut down and begin looking at apps. These things apply to wives also. You can find applications for wives with respect to these. I am speaking specifically about the responsibilities of husbands in their role as the biblical head of their marriage, which is a very weighty, very, very important role for us men. The very first place that we started with that was talking about personal responsibility. We started with personal responsibility. A lot of people we said, conceive of their personal responsibility like this. This is our marriage. If, for example, we run into problems in the marriage, we would be tempted to say, okay, well, in this particular problem, you sit down with a husband and wife and say, honey, what's the, well, that's what you say to your wife. The counselor would say, ma'am, sister, how would you conceive of the problem in your marriage? How would you think about that? And she would say, well, I think really that my particular contribution to this problem is 1%. And this is my husband's contribution to the problem, or vice versa. My husband would say, if I could just fix her, then this would be all great, smooth sailing. Our problems would be solved, right? But marriage, this is not a zero-sum game. This is, Doug Wilson's written on this and talked about this I think in a really, really helpful way. There's a book called Reforming Marriage. I think it's where he does that really good little book. If you want to pick that up, it's helpful. Marriage is not a zero-sum game. We talked about personal responsibility in the sense that with everything that goes on in your marriage, you have two pies, not one. Two pies, and each person has 100% responsibility for their own contribution or portion of the problems, the difficulties, the issues, right? So when it comes down to working on these things in your marriage, each person must take 100% responsibility for the things over which they are responsible, and you're responsible for a lot. So you can't say, and I think it's really destructive, really harmful to continue to say, it's my wife. It's my wife. It's my wife. It's my wife. It's my wife. It's my wife. It's him. It's him. It's him. And what happens a lot in marriage counseling and those kinds of things is that you end up, you blame shift, right? It's a subtle form, not a subtle form of blame shifting when each person must take 100% responsibility for those things which are in their sphere of influence, the things that they're responsible for, okay? Personal responsibility. Now, we talked a lot, we did a whole session on that, so there's a lot more to it than just that. That's a quick summary. But although we bear personal responsibility, although each person is individually responsible and they must be responsible for themselves, although that's the case, there is one head. There is one head, and that's the husband. The husband is head of the wife. Just as Jesus Christ is head of the church, okay? There is one head, one person who takes responsibility for it all, you could say, and that is the husband. Just as Christ is the head of his body, his bride, the church, the husband is the head of his wife. We talked about it, that's not ontologically, in some way that the woman is in her being. She is inferior to the man. That's not what is being referred to there. We're not speaking of inferiority in that sense, so they're not ontologically inferior. That's the word that we would use to describe that. They are economically inferior. We talked about the trinity in that sense, right? You've heard the phrase maybe, the ontological trinity, which means that the son, for example, the son, is not inferior to the father. The son is equal to the father. The ontological trinity, the three distinct persons of the Godhead, are ontologically equal. But there is an economic subordination of the son to the father. In other words, there is an authority on the part of the father that the son voluntarily submits to. There is an economic, in the economic trinity, there is a subordination to an authority, works the same way in this sense with husband and wife. There is not an ontological inferiority of the woman to the man in no way, shape, or form. I think the best one of several texts with respect to that is Agalatians chapter 3, where there's neither male nor female. They're equal in value. We are one. We are all image-bearers of God, right? But there is an economic subordination of the woman to her authority, which is the husband, to her head, okay? So ontologically equal economically, though, there is this headship. First Corinthians chapter 11, verse 3. I want you to know, Paul says, that the head of every man is Christ, the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God. Ephesians chapter 5, verse 23. The husband is the head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church, and he is savior of the body. If you look at this stuff online, it's crazy that the egalitarian, feminist kind of justifications for why this isn't saying what it's saying, right? It's crazy. The gymnastics that goes on to try to explain why this is not the case when the Bible clearly says that it is. Husbands, you are the head of your wife. Now, that doesn't mean that that means I'm a boss. There's a sense in which you are the boss, but that gives you no leeway for shirking your responsibilities with respect to headship. We've got to understand what headship means, what headship implies, and that's what these sessions are sort of about. We'll talk about the implications of headship. So today we'll go another step further in talking about the implications of biblical headship. Here's what we talked about last year. Last year we talked about the implications of headship being this. If we have your two circles again, and here is... Oh, yeah, somebody's got a black... This is the only marker in there. Somebody's got a black marker that may be helpful. Here's Bill and here's Sally. Okay. Here's one implication, or maybe the one way to think about biblical headship. Can you guys see that, Bill? Bill and Sally are your two circles, okay? Collectively, these are the Smiths. Bill Smith and Sally Smith, they are the Smiths, okay? Biblical headship means that although there are two circles, and in the marriage, Bill is 100% responsible for his actions, responsibilities in the marriage, and Sally is 100% responsible for hers. She's got her issues, she's responsible for things that she needs to work on, things that she needs to do, but... Oh, thank you, Bill. But, although there is Bill Smith and Sally Smith, who is ultimately responsible for the Smiths? Bill is. Right? Biblical headship. Biblical headship is that Bill is responsible for the Smiths. Okay, and what we talked about is that in this, this is clear on many levels in life, okay? Bill is the Smiths. He is responsible for the entity that is the Smiths. He's an individual, but he is not his own person, right? He is responsible for a marriage. He's responsible for a family. He's responsible for a wife, okay? We're talking about responsibility. Bill is responsible for his wife. Bill is responsible... Now, think about that. Bill is responsible for his family. Bill is responsible for the Smiths. These are the implications of biblical headship. Not culpable, okay? So, Bill is not going to stand before God and be judged for Sally's sin. Sally will stand before God with respect to her own sin. But does Bill bear responsibility or accountability before God with respect to Sally and her sin? Yes, he does because Bill is responsible for the Smiths, okay? Maybe give you a couple of examples with respect to that to make the point here that we're talking about. Troy has a sub shop, okay? Troy and Tina own a restaurant. Really good. I highly recommend it. But if someone in Troy's sub shop mishandles the meat and doesn't handle it according to code, people come to John Smith's subs and they get food poisoning. Who's... Who is the proximate cause of that problem of food poisoning and the mishandling of the meat, the person who mishandled the meat? Who is ultimately responsible for John Smith's subs? Troy is. Who's going to be ultimately responsible for the food poisoning that came out of John Smith's stuff? Troy is. Who's going to be on the news? When there are trucks there, cameras there, talking about the 20 people that ended up in the hospital with food poisoning. Troy is, right? Because Troy is ultimately responsible for John Smith's subs. He's responsible. Does that make sense? Okay, you can say he's the head. John Smith's subs. Pastor Dale owns Senior Helpers, which is, like he said this morning, pretty complex business and difficult business because you've got people caring for elderly people in their homes. I can imagine the complications and the difficulties associated with that. But a worker with Senior Helpers under Pastor Dale's leadership makes a critical medication error at the house. Who's the proximate cause of that medication error? Let's say the patient dies. The patient is seriously harmed. The proximate cause of that error is the person who dosed out the wrong medication, but who is ultimately responsible for Senior Helpers? Dale Gardner is ultimately responsible for Senior Helpers. He's going to be the one on the news. He's going to be the one that's going to give an account. It's his business. He's ultimately responsible. Biblical example, there are two sons of Eli. Two sons of Eli in 1 Samuel 2 corrupt, corrupt, wicked sons. They were sleeping with women who assembled at the door of the Tabernacle of Meeting. God killed them for their wickedness because the two sons were evil, but who was held ultimately responsible by God for that circumstance? Eli was. Eli was. 1 Samuel 2, 29. God says to Eli, you honor your sons more than me. And what does he do with Eli? Eli dies too. So we're talking about, in a marriage, the concept of headship, husbands, you are responsible for your wife. You're responsible for her. You're not culpable for her sin. You are responsible for her. We can think about this as it plays out over in different categories, can't we? I was thinking about this a lot with respect to pastors. We're elders here. And so elders, one of the responsibilities you have as being members of a church like this is to submit to your elders. As those who must, what? Give an account for your soul. So there is a sense in which elders will give an account for you. And that's a weighty, fearful responsibility. Husbands, that's what we're talking about here with headship. Husbands, you will give an account to God for your wife. You're not culpable for her sin, but you're accountable for her. Now, think about the implications of all that, what that entails. We're going to talk about those in more detail in a moment. But that's headship. That's headship. You're going to give an account for your wife. When you get married, you make a covenant and you take responsibility for your wife. What we're talking about here is covenant responsibility. We're establishing covenant responsibility. Everything that takes place and everything that doesn't take place, men, you are responsible for. Good, bad, sinful, righteous, all occurs under the purview of the husband's headship and therefore the husband's covenant responsibility. You're covenantally responsible. Now, you may not like that the way that sounds. And lastly, there's pushback with respect to that. But that's what Scripture has clearly set up and that's what you covenant to do when you enter a marriage relationship. You're covenanting to take responsibility. It really is that picture of the husband walking his daughter down the aisle and he comes up to the front and the pastor's there. And he takes his daughter's hand. Who gives this woman to be married? I do. And he takes her hand from the hand of her father and he places her hand in the hand of her now new husband. Makes sense? You're giving responsibility now for that young woman to her husband and he is taking covenant responsibility for his wife. So, just at a brief moment here as we think about these things, a take stock of your marriage relationship, men especially. Now ladies, you have responsibilities in the relationship so you think about your own responsibilities in the relationship. We'll talk about those more in detail in a moment. But men, you are the covenant head. What's the status of your marriage? That is your responsibility. As Pastor Mike said earlier, if it's great, praise God. Praise God. Thank you, Lord. I want to persevere in that. I want to keep going. Let's keep growing. Let's keep maturing. You'll keep doing what you're doing. But if it's not where you want it to be, men, that is your responsibility. What are you going to do about it? That's part of leading as a godly husband, taking ownership, taking covenantal responsibility for your marriage. What are you going to do about that? You're responsible for those things. That's biblical headship. You're taking responsibility for the smiths, in other words. You're taking responsibility. On the basis of headship, or on the basis of covenant responsibility then, God then establishes our roles in marriage. Turn with me to Ephesians chapter 5. Let's take a look at this. Ephesians chapter 5. Men, you're taking covenant responsibility for your marriage, your family, and it's on the basis of headship. On the basis of covenant responsibility, then God establishes our roles in marriage. Look at Ephesians chapter 5 in verse 22. Again, what I want you to see from the text is this flows out of covenant responsibility, flows out of headship. And we'll talk about why in a little while. Verse 22. Wives, submit to your own husbands as to the Lord. Why? Why? Four, verse 23. Because the husband is head of the wife as also Christ is head of the church and he is savior of the body. Now it doesn't say why submit to your own husbands as to the Lord and husbands become the head of your wife. It doesn't say that. It doesn't say why submit to your own husbands as to the Lord and husbands be the head of your wife as in terms of a command. It doesn't say that. What it says is four because the husband is, you is the head of your wife. So it's not a command. It's something that you are. You are the head of your wife. Covenant responsibility. Verse 24. Verse 24. Therefore, therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be subject to their own husbands in everything. We're talking about his covenant responsibility. Wives, you're to be subject to your husband in everything. He is your covenant head. Not ontologically. We're not talking about an ontological difference here. We're talking economically. Economically, wives are to submit themselves to their husbands in everything. Okay. Now that headship is given as a simple statement of fact. Simple statement of fact. Husbands, you are the head of your wife. This is the nature of your relationship to your wife. God has designed marriage in this way. This is the nature of your relationship to your wife. Whether you think you are or whether you think you aren't, you are. Okay? You are head and you are leading. So whether you're intentionally leading or whether you're a passive non-leader, you're leading. You are the head. So if you're a passive non-leader in your home, there's a vacuum of leadership that you have created and that vacuum is what is leading now your relationship or other things are going to fill that vacuum. If you're not leading, then maybe your wife who wasn't created to lead in that way is now and finds herself in the position of leading. There's a vacuum of leadership there and so TV fills the vacuum. There's a vacuum of leadership there and so other priorities fill the vacuum. Right, husbands? You can lead intentionally, but if you don't lead intentionally, other things are going to fill that vacuum. It may be that your passivity is the thing that is leading your marriage and we can all envision, can't we? We can all think about what it looks like when a marriage is being led by a passive husband. Think about what that looks like. If you're a hypocrite, then you lie about what it means to be a Christian with your actions or your words and hypocrisy may be leading your marriage. You may be neglectful and it's your neglect that is leading your marriage. The thing that most directs it is your own neglect. In other words, husbands, biblical headship means that that comes back to you. It comes back to you. You could be leading in faithfulness. You could be leading through your negligence. Some husbands run away from that responsibility and so they lead by virtue of their absence. That void or that absence is what is now governing or directing the relationship. Husband is weak and so the wife may or may not become more domineering and that becomes the domineering or the dominant characteristic of the marriage. It's a question of where or how you are leading. Think about that with respect to your own marriage. What are you saying or what are you teaching? What are you doing or not doing in the exercise of your headship? If you're not intentionally exercising your headship in covenant responsibility for your wife before the Lord, then what else is leading? Is neglect governing? We have a terrible analogy, but it just pops into my head. I have to use it. We were watching, if you guys have ever seen the Count of Monte Cristo. The Count of Monte Cristo guy is sent to prison and he's sent to prison and once a year the jailhouse warden comes in on his anniversary, the anniversary of his imprisonment there and he whips him, beats him, and that's the only time he has interaction is at one meeting a year. Otherwise every day they slide a bowl of food under the door and that's it, but once a year he sees this warden and he whips him. So all year long he's entirely neglected so there's a scene where this other guy had been digging a tunnel and dug up into his cell by mistake and so they're talking and he had written on the wall therefore neglect becomes our ally. So he uses the neglect of the warden only seeing him once a year to carry out this plan to dig a tunnel and dig out of prison. Neglect becomes our ally. Well, if you want to flip that around then Satan will use your neglect to have his way in your marriage which interestingly enough may become a prison cell for your wife. Neglect is Satan's ally. Neglect is the enemy's ally in your marriage so don't neglect your covenant responsibility to take headship, to exercise headship, to be intentional. Neglect is the ally of the enemy. You don't neglect your responsibilities. That neglect, that vacuum may be dominating the home. So husbands then, how should you leave? How should you lead? What is your covenant responsibility? How should you exercise headship? We're in Ephesians chapter 5, look at verse 25 then. We're Ephesians chapter 5. Now we talk about the responsibilities of covenant headship in the marriage. Verse 25 here it is for husbands. Husbands, love your wives just as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for her. Gave himself is what's called a synecdoche. It's a figure of speech where one thing represents the whole. In other words, Jesus Christ gave all, gave all to the point of giving his own life for his bride the church and that's the way that he loved her. We don't love our wives in any kind of atoning way. We're not atoning for her sin. Again, we're not culpable for her sin but we love in giving ourselves as Christ did. He gave all of himself, gave all of himself even to the point of death. Love your wives just as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for us. So our covenant responsibility for our bride is rooted then and grounded in the Lord's covenant responsibility for his bride. The connection that's being made there. Our covenant responsibility is heads over our wives. That responsibility is rooted and grounded in the Lord's giving of himself for his bride, okay? His covenant responsibility. Now that has purposes, he has purposes in mind for that. Look at verse 26. So that, so that he might sanctify and cleanse her with a washing of water by the word, verse 27, so that he might present her to himself a glorious church, not having spot a wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. And so in this way, in this way, husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies, he who loves his wife loves himself for no one ever hated his own flesh but nourishes and cherishes it just as the Lord does the church, okay? So two examples were given to men for how they are to love their wives. Two examples. One, verse 25, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her, gave himself for her. That's one way that they are to love their wives. The second, verse 28, just as their own bodies, right? He who loves his wife loves himself. And then there are two purposes in the text for loving her in this way, two purposes. That his love for her has an intention, okay? So when you think about how do I love my wife in my marriage? How do I love my wife? Your love for her should have these intentions in mind. It doesn't mean you're not going to love her in a myriad of ways, but even loving her in those ways has these intentions or these purposes in mind. One, verse 26, that he might sanctify and cleanse her with washing of water by the word. And by the word is a critical phrase, right? There it comes through the instrumentality, the agency of God's word. By the word, secondly, verse 27, that he might present her to himself a glorious church. We're going to be making a case here, so I want us to understand this from Ephesians chapter 5. As biblical heads covenantally responsible for your marriage, men, you're to love your wife, right? You love your wife. Two ways that you're to love her, as Christ loved her, giving himself for her. You love her, giving yourself for her. And just as your own body, right? His wife loves himself with the purpose that, with the intention that he might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word and that she might be presented to him a glorious church, okay? So love and covenant responsibility. You're covenantally responsible for loving your wife with these intentions in mind. We're going to get there in a moment. Verse 30, for because we are members of his body, of his flesh and of his bones, for this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife and the two shall become one flesh. This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless, let each one of you, in particular, so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. Covenant responsibilities. And not because we earn it right? That's a covenant responsibility. Whether you, you know, well, I'll love him when he does a better job of it. No. Your covenant responsibility, ladies, is to respect and it's interesting that the word is respect there and not love. Certainly, you have to love your husband, but that's an interesting, you know, I'm trying to get into that. Very interesting choice of words that she respects, respects and submits to her husband. Your covenant responsibility. You are to love your wives. Covenant responsibility. Not because you think she deserves it or has somehow earned it. Is that the way the Lord Jesus Christ has loved you? No. So far from how the Lord Jesus Christ loves his bride, that thought should not come into your head, right? Not because she earned it or because she deserves it. Your covenant responsibilities love her in that way. Ladies, you submit to your husband. When he makes smart decisions, I'll submit to him. I think you should have some say in those decisions and you should voice your say, but when it comes down to it, who's your head? So we can talk about that more. We each have a circle. We each have a circle, but headship men entails a covenant responsibility for the marriage. She is your responsibility. Well, she's not doing this stuff over here. She is your responsibility. Well, if she would just she is your responsibility, our marriage would be so much better if she would just it's your responsibility. What are you going to? My kids are this, that, generally we don't have difficulty accepting responsibility for our kids. Kids are acting crazy and like, well, I gotta do something about that. We typically do do something about that if you're a responsible parent. We don't have difficulty taking responsibility, but somehow when that comes to our wives, there's a disconnect. Like now I can't do anything about that. Now that is your responsibility. Your marriage and as your marriage is a picture of the relationship, as Paul says here, between Christ and his bride, the church, as that is the case, your marriage is to picture the relationship between Christ and his bride, the church. And it's your responsibility, men, as heads, it's your responsibility to see to it that your relationship pictures that in that way. You've got a covenant responsibility to that end. The marriage is your responsibility. Okay. It's interesting I was at Four Sills last week talking about stewardship and these two things are related and maybe given time this afternoon we can talk about stewardship. This has essentially meant a stewardship of your wife, a stewardship of your family, a stewardship of your marriage, and there are two hallmark characteristics of a stewardship. One of those is responsibility. The other one is accountability. So whenever there's a biblical stewardship, whatever we've given a stewardship over with respect to that thing, we have responsibility and there's accountability. Responsibility and accountability. And so men, with respect to your headship, there is a responsibility we've got to define what that responsibility specifically is. I think Ephesians 5 does that for us. But then two, you've got to understand there's accountability for it. Okay, there's accountability for it. We all must appear before the judgment seat of Christ to give an account of the things we've done in the body whether good or bad. There's an accountability that's coming for that. So men, we need to take our responsibility seriously. There are many, many implications of the husband's responsibility as head. His covenant responsibility. But I thought today that we would talk about one. We're going to start and talk about I'm already getting yellow. Wow. What was that? Wow. So we're going to talk about one and probably finish up this afternoon. I got two sessions. Okay. Here's the one that we want to talk about. Implications of headship. The husband as intercessor. The husband as intercessor. Or the responsibility of the husband to intercede for his bride, for his wife. The husband as intercessor. So maybe in the time that we've got left we'll want to maybe establish that what it looks like from the Old Testament. And maybe after lunch we'll get further into that and look at what it entails in the New Testament and how we tie that to our covenant responsibility given us by the Lord Jesus Christ in particular in Ephesians chapter 5. So we're talking about one of the implications of headship. There are many implications of headship. Many. But one of those is the responsibility for the husband to intercede for his wife, for his family, for his kids. The husband as intercessor. So we have, this goes without saying I think it would be pretty clear to anyone here that we have a covenant responsibility to pray for our wives. Wives, ladies, you should also pray. You should be praying for your husband. Husbands, you need to be praying for your wives. Now I want to set this up by saying when we talk in accountability about prayer, prayer time. How are things going for you brother? How are you doing spiritually? Doing well. Doing fair. Partly cloudy. However you respond to that accountability. But so tell me about your prayer life. Do you believe that your prayer life is spiritually benefiting you? Are you enriched in your prayer to the Lord? How's that going? Are you being intentional, deliberate? We talk about the means of grace prayers, the means of grace, because it's very important that our spiritual growth and development. And so what can happen and does happen and it happens to me, it happens to all of us in our Christian communities. I don't know that there would be anyone here who wouldn't say I would like to pray less. Generally speaking, the issue is we need to pray more. I would like to spend more time in prayer. I'm not sure what I'm doing in prayer all the time. Sometimes my prayer feels like it's hitting a glass ceiling or sometimes I feel distant or other times, maybe it's going great. Yes, I've had really, really good prayer time. I'm really grateful to the Lord for how he's working in me by his spirit through my prayer time as I'm praying according to the word of God. But this issue of prayer, and sometimes what can happen in a Christian's life is that because we don't understand in the case, there we go, don't understand or because we don't prioritize it, we don't see it as the means of grace that it is for prayer lives to suffer. Brother, tell me how you're praying. Well, I've got a seven minute drive from my house to work so in the car on the way to work, I spend a little bit of time I've got Z88.3 on but I'm trying to pray a little bit and I get to work and that's your prayer life. Or I'm in the shower and what little hair I've got in a couple of minutes I'm praying and that's what your prayer life devolves into is something that you do in passing quickly because you know you're supposed to you check that box and that is folks, that's to our shame isn't it? We understand prayer the importance of prayer is to our shame that we allow that to happen and what that means then is that for the most part, is it good to pray in the seven minute drive from your house to work in the car? Yes right? Yes. Is it good to pray in the shower? Yes alarm goes off in the morning, feet hit the floor start praying, right? It's good. Lord thank you for the day it's good to pray in all those ways I think that's what Paul means when he says pray without ceasing it doesn't mean that you are to pray every second of every day it means don't stop praying don't stop praying pray but the the importance I think there is an importance and it's an established importance is to have an intentional time of prayer where you prepare your heart and mind from the word of God I think hopefully we'll make that case a little bit here later with respect to our wives you prepare your heart and mind from the word of God and you pray in an intentional way with your heart and mind on scripture yield it to the spirit and you pray, you intercede and you want that to be the case you want to be able to do that for your wife now listen, if pastors if we're going to stand before God and give an account for you do you think it would then behoove us to pray for you? Yes and we're going to give an account then is it going to be by my might by my power or my will or my exertion or my effort that you grow in the faith or that someone is converted or that you are made mature or that you grow more knowledgeable no no it's going to come by God giving the increase so we can plant, we can water but all of our planting and watering comes to not if the Lord isn't the one who gives the increase we pray in the same way that a pastor would pray for the people of God in the church that he's given him responsibility to be an under shepherd over, be an overseer for a husband even more so should be praying for his wife, you have a covenant responsibility to your wife so you should be praying for her and your prayers for her we'll talk about what that entails in a moment but in other words we need to take covenant responsibility and pray and the likelihood of that being meaningful in the 27 seconds that you're washing your hair in the shower is going to be minuscule right there needs to be time set aside, it needs to be thoughtful needs to be from the word of God so the duty of Godly stewards, Godly husbands to intercession to this interceding the husband is interceded, it is rooted in the Old Testament in other words the Old Testament lays the foundation for a theology of intercession the theology of intercession that we see in the New Testament and we see that primarily in the role of the prophet in the Old Testament, so turn back with me to Numbers Numbers 11 let's look at a couple of texts before we break here Numbers 11 and you could, as we're looking there you could see the role of the prophet in the Old Testament the prophetic role, really having two two functions we can describe it in various ways but one function would be the prophetic role is to speak the word of God to God's people so the prophet has a responsibility to speak the word of God to God's people and the prophet in the Old Testament has a responsibility to represent the people in speaking an intercessory word on their behalf to God so maybe two functions you could look at with respect to these examples one is speaking the word of God to them and the other is interceding on their behalf speaking a word to God and we see that this in many examples, the first example that we I think really catching glimpse of that is with Abraham interceding for Sodom, he's interceding with the Lord he's praying for the righteous who are in Sodom it's in Genesis 18 and then you get to Genesis chapter 20 and Abraham's called the prophet he's preaching the word of God interceding for the people of God Abraham has the role of a prophet that's the way the Lord describes him in Genesis chapter 20 so in Numbers 11 we see Moses Moses is an example that we can look at and we'll look at several examples I just want to build this case so think with me and as you think think to yourself, do I intercede for my wife in this way do I intercede with the Lord with my family in this way when there are problems, when there are issues things that come up I think there's a good way to think about this how does it apply to me look at chapter 11, Numbers chapter 11 verse 1 now when the people complained it displeased the Lord for the Lord heard it and his anger was aroused so the fire of the Lord burned among them and consumed to some in the outskirts of the camp then the people cried out to Moses and when Moses prayed to the Lord the fire was quenched so he called the name of the place Tibera because the fire of the Lord had burned among them drop down to verse 10 then Moses then Moses, verse 10 heard the people weeping throughout their families everyone at the door of his tent and the anger of the Lord was greatly aroused Moses also was displeased and so Moses said to the Lord why have you afflicted your servant speaking of himself here and why have I not found favor in your sight that you have laid the burden of all these people on me did I conceive all these people did I beget them in other words I didn't conceive them I didn't beget them so why am I responsible for them the other implication of that is if you did conceive one if you did beget one you are responsible for that one right Moses like why have you made me covenantally responsible for this people when I didn't conceive them or beget them he says did I beget them that you should say to me carry them in your bosom as a guardian carries a nursing child to the land which you swore to their fathers where am I to get meat to give to all these people for they weep all over me saying give us meat that we may eat I am not able to bear all these people alone because the burden is too heavy for me if you treat me like this please kill me here and now if I have found favor in your sight and do not let me see my wretchedness there is a lot that can be gleaned from that little text of scripture with respect to our covenant responsibilities and interceding for them but one of those is great dependence Moses I can't do it I cannot do it it's too great for me husbands we're in the same boat head over your wife over your family it's too great a job too great a responsibility for you we are entirely dependent upon a lord but we are responsible and we have to rely on him for strength help supply Moses flip over and look at number 16 couple pages to the right number 16 and number 16 is the account of the rebellion of Korah and number 16 look down at verse 20 so in verse 20 Korah and others with him have rebelled in verse 20 the Lord spoke to Moses and Aaron saying separate yourselves from among this congregation and I may consume them in a moment what does Moses do he intercedes then they fell on their faces and said oh God, the God of the spirits of all flesh shall one man sin and you be angry with all the congregation as the Lord spoke to Moses saying speak to the congregation saying get away from the tents of Korah, Nathan and Abiram then Moses rose and went to Nathan and Abiram and the elders of Israel followed him as he spoke to the congregation saying depart now from the tents of these wicked men as you be consumed in all their sins so they got away from around the tents of Korah, Nathan and Abiram came out and stood at the door of their tents with their wives, their sons and their little children and so Moses jumps in and intercedes for the people in Korah's rebellion flip again to the right look at number 21 number 21 Moses understood his responsibility the position that he was in and so he came to their aid that does that mean that there were other that there weren't other Israelites praying we don't know that but Moses certainly did because Moses thought as his responsibility to do so but can you imagine there may have been other Israelites praying praying to God but what do we have in Scripture we have Moses and Moses taking responsibility because it was Moses's responsibility to do it we see him praying here interceding look at number 21 and look at verse 7 therefore the people came to Moses and said we have sinned for we have spoken against the Lord and against you, pray to the Lord that he takes away the serpents from us so Moses prayed for the people so the people expected that Moses would intercede for them they come to Moses and ask Moses to pray Moses prays God uses the prayer of the means by which he blesses and spares the people Moses our God hears the prayer of Moses and delivers them this is the example of the bronze serpent they would look to the serpent they could be delivered but that in part came through the means of Moses praying for them the intercession of Moses look at number 27 we'll wrap up here with this in just a moment number 27 Moses again understanding his responsibility for the people prays to God for his replacement look at verse 12 so the Lord said to Moses verse 12 go up into this mount Mount Abiram and see the land which I have given to the children of Israel and when you have seen it you also shall be gathered to your people as Aaron your brother was gathered for in the wilderness of Zinn during the strike of the congregation you rebelled against my command tell me if the waters before their eyes these are the waters of Meribah and the wilderness of Zinn Moses is about to die then Moses spoke to the Lord saying let the Lord the God of the spirits of all flesh set a man over the congregation who may go out before them and go in before them who may lead them out and bring them in that the congregation of the Lord may not be like sheep which have no shepherd now they have God as their chief shepherd Moses understood the Lord's economy so to speak the Lord's administration here Moses understood that the Lord worked through someone a man who was in this case a prophet, Moses who was covenantally responsible to intercede for them covenantally responsible to lead them the Lord God worked through Moses, Moses understood that so when the Lord tells Moses he's going to die and what does Moses do we can't leave these people the Lord is going to provide someone to lead them knowing that the Lord would provide someone to lead them what does Moses do Moses prays for his replacement Moses prays that the Lord would appoint someone in this case we know that that's Joshua so Joshua replaces Moses turn a few more pages of the right to Joshua chapter 7 Joshua chapter 7 Joshua then takes up the mantle of responsibility covenant responsibility for the people of God and then Joshua begins to pray also Joshua chapter 7 look at verse 6 they go into battle you remember this story this account Achan takes those items under the ban varies them under his tent they go into battle and 36 men are killed at AI Joshua intercedes verse 6 Joshua tore his clothes and fell to the earth on his face before the Ark of the Lord until evening he and the elders of Israel they put dust on their heads instead Joshua said alas Lord God why have you brought this people over the Jordan at all to deliver us into the hand of the Amorites to destroy us oh that we had been content and dwelt on the other side of the Jordan oh Lord what shall I say when Israel turns its back before its enemies for the Canaanites and all the inhabitants of the land hear it and surround us and cut off your name from the earth then what will you do for your great name one of the things that we learned from this is that Joshua should have made his petitions known to God before going into AI should have prayed to God before going into AI but here they go into AI anyway 36 men are killed and now Joshua intercedes for the people interesting the Lord's response get up why do you lie to us on your face Israel has sinned they have also transgressed my covenant which I commanded them they have taken some of the accursed things and have both stolen and deceived they have also put it among their own stuff okay this continues into the judges we see the same thing in judges you see Deborah in one place a woman interceding for the people of Israel but the judges interceding first Samuel first Samuel chapter 12 first Samuel chapter 12 what we're doing here is we're sort of building this case and then we want to apply it first Samuel chapter 12 look at verse 19 it's interesting that you have of the prayers listed in the Old Testament that a prayer that precedes this one is Hannah's prayer for a child you may say like okay well Hannah interceding for really but we see how the Lord uses Hannah's prayer to bring Samuel into the picture right so again Lord using prayer as a way to bring about his ends and now we have Samuel look at Samuel chapter 12 drop down to 19 verse 19 and all the people said to Samuel pray for your service to the Lord your God that we may not die for we have added to all our sins the evil we're asking a king for ourselves then Samuel said to the people do not fear you have done all this wickedness yet do not turn aside from following the Lord do not turn aside from following the Lord but serve the Lord with all your heart do not turn aside it's this prophetic responsibility speaking the word of God to them and going to God with a word on their behalf right this responsibility covenant responsibility verse 21 do not turn aside for then you would go after empty things which cannot profit or deliver for they are nothing for the Lord will not forsake his people for his great name sake because it is pleased the Lord to make you his people more over as for me far be it from me that I should sin against the Lord in ceasing to pray for you right now from Samuel now he understands his covenant responsibility to pray for the people in his role as priest he's to pray for the people and he recognizes that in his responsibility to pray it would be sin for him not to right would be sin for him not to pray but I will teach you the good and the right way he's going to speak the word of God to them verse 24 only fear the Lord and serve him in truth with all your heart for consider what great things he has done for you but if you still do wickedly you shall be swept away both you and your king okay Samuel turn there with me very interesting in Ezra Ezra chapter 9 and look at verse 5 there something we can glean from Ezra's example here remember in Ezra the people have come back from captivity and they're back in the land and what do they do when they get back in the land they sin more they sinned and the Lord put them into captivity he exiled them Babylon back and Ezra intercedes he says it verse 5 chapter 9 verse 5 at the evening sacrifice I arose from my fasting wait a minute am I in the right place here having torn my garment and my robe I fell on my knees and spread out my hands to the Lord my God and I said oh my God I am too ashamed and humiliated to lift up my face to you my God these indiquities have risen higher than our heads and our guilt has grown up to the heavens there's several reasons why Ezra is using plural pronouns here but one in particular I think we can learn from Ezra is that he's identifying himself has Ezra taken a foreign wife no the Israelites have done that in violation of God's commands they've taken foreign wives Ezra has not done that but when Ezra prays I am I am ashamed. I can't even lift my eyes to you right our sins have gone up over our heads Ezra is Identifying himself with the sins of his people because he's taken covenant responsibility to pray for them if ever back to Samuel If Ezra doesn't pray Ezra would consider it a sin for himself not to pray for them He's taking covenant responsibility and when they sin Ezra Feels and understands and accountability with respect to that right he is identified with them in their sin That's covenant responsibility. That's headship So when we take responsibility or accountability for our wives, we should think about that the same way When there's sin in our household men we're crying out to God over the sin in our own house when our wives sin we're crying out to God Over the sin of our wives and then we take covenant responsibility to do something about that That's headship. We take covenant responsibility to do something about that, but we're crying out to God. We're identified We are responsible for the Smiths Make sense. We're responsible in this in this way you look at Verse seven since the days of our fathers to this day, we have been very guilty and for our Iniquities we our kings and our priests have been delivered into the hand of the kings of the lands to the sword to captivity to plunder and Humiliation as it is this day and now for a little while Grace has been shown from the Lord our God to leave us a remnant to escape and to give us a peg in this holy place that our God may enlighten our eyes and give us a measure of revival in our bondage he just keeps going right praying to the Lord Lord has shown grace and Ezra is identifying himself with the sins of the people So several examples there in the Old Testament if we kept going they're multiple Multiple examples. Let me summarize that by saying this and then we'll break for lunch Role of the prophet so to speak in the Old Testament To speak the word of God to the people and then to speak on behalf of the people to God That's intercession the prophet's responsibility to intercede for the people other people expected it of them They would come and ask for that intercession The people were blessed through it God used it as a means to bless the people or for his work to be accomplished among the people He used that prayer that dependence that intercession in that way and then God answered that prayer for the benefit of the people so It's obvious that those who serve God with responsibility for the people of God Considered it their duty to pray and to intercede for the people In the same way husbands when we take covenant responsibility for our wives We are responsible before God to intercede For them for the people two points. I want you to take away from these examples one one their prayer is tied specifically to the gracious Covenant Relationship that God has with his people their prayer is tied to that relationship God has a covenant relationship with his people and that person charged with their stewardship charged with their responsibility Praise for them to God. Secondly, the responsibility for intercession is given to heads Or key representatives heads over the people that responsibility to intercede is given to the head. They have a Covenant responsibility. Okay, so when we come back from lunch We'll talk about the implications of that for husbands today How that is fleshed out and seen in the New Testament and then what we need to do about it, okay? So let's break the lunch. Why are we coming back yet? Okay, yeah, okay, so let's let's plan on baby it's 12 o'clock about 12 o'clock now so let's plan on being back at 1 30 and let's pray now Blessing our time together Father in heaven. Thank you for our time together or thank you for the blessed Opportunity privilege of thinking through these things. I pray that you would help us to think Help us to apply these things these lessons learned and I pray Lord that we would have marriages that would Glorify you Please Lord I pray that you bless our time together over lunch bless our conversation Lord use our meditation on these things as Means by which you by your spirit apply the word of God through our hearts in our minds Lord and help us to think clearly We're to take responsibility to honor you and to glorify you and our marriages Maybe we'd be pleased. Thank you Lord for our food. Thank you for providing for us in this way I know that all these good and gracious gifts come from you Jesus name we pray. Amen