 That is this is not good off. You know, this is a good representation of my week already. Hey guys What's up? It's Kizzie. Welcome back to my channel today's vlog is another weekend of my life vlog I apologize for no college week in my life vlog This past week it is just because I was far too emotionally unstable and literally for no reason at all literally at all Something wrong with me on that note if you guys are new here nice to meet you subscribe You guys want to stick around clearly it's probably gonna be entertaining because I don't know what I'm doing Anyways, it is Thursday afternoon. This is like my Friday. So got out of class early I've just been doing much of stuff around my office. I took Coco to the dog park when said hated Drew had a long Phone call with him. He'll be here tonight. You guys will see so Yana's about to come over I'm gonna like definitely like video playing in my life together That's basically what this vlog is gonna be like this week because I'm the past month of my life I have just been extremely Distracted and not normal and I don't like it. So we're getting back into a good routine Anyways, I am finishing up some video uploads or edits for tomorrow's video Which again, I literally never wait till the day before to post a video Extremely unlike me. Someone call the police. There's something wrong with me. I'm pretty sure Also, I'm wearing the best yet to come hoodie if you guys saw in my like past college with my life Yana called me out because she was really upset that she's never made it into one of my cute intros So I got her a merch hoodie so that she would feel loved and valued because Yana is my number one girly You know, so like I gotta like let her know So I'm gonna surprise her with the hoodie tonight because I've never also never given her merch, which is I realize also I Have to pay for my own merch like I don't even get my merch free So that's why but also if you guys haven't checked out my merch check it out This stuff is awesome, and it's really freaking cute. So anyways, I gotta like figure out my life and do stuff tonight This is probably gonna be a fun vlog guess we'll see my new episode also with Chris went up today on my podcast Also, thank you guys so much for all the love on the podcast It's like making my heart so warm and just like happy, but if you guys want be sure to go listen to that There's probably three episodes out by the time you guys have seen this so anyways, talk to you guys later Bye. Why did it end up like that? This is what I mean have a vlog in three days So I'm like new career path. Don't know. Okay, Yana Close your eyes put your hands out or your arms out, please get ready. I might crawl Okay, really Okay, yeah, that's why I wanted you to wear it so we could we could film in it next on a wedding trip away We've got things to do. I love my fans Guys are the best absolutely insane. I don't I wouldn't like pretend that this isn't happening right now Guys every time Yana turns your car on this is a song that plays. What about you guys? What's your song mine's like a chair or something? Scott baptize and do you like my my new March? I love the new March love the song love the merch I love her song love my merch the best yet to come link link in the bio if you enjoy this. There's also mugs She knows what you're talking about and sure it's like hoodies or no. Yeah, this is one. It's a hoodie. Oh, oh fuck Yeah, oh no, this is correct. Yeah me. Oh fuck. We're not the same. Yeah, that's that's a hoodie Yeah, are you having a night? Hey, he's out girl scouts. Who it is guys? Yeah, I am Andrew I just had to make sure that I was here for your 15th haircut. I've been there for you're welcome Can you please just be on for like a second? Alexa, what can you be in it with me? Can you guys yeah, I really can't do this back and forth my hands. Yeah, she's a good camera man, though Thanks woman. Wow. Okay. No boss. That was pretty sexist Okay, don't ever call me a camera woman I'm okay with Drew is here It's been a bit Andrew since um, you've been in a blog. What is Kenzie's contact name in your phone? Why does she have a knife right there? You never know. I'm asking the juicy questions. No, it's not Show us you changed it You think fake out of it So what is it? There's an emoji there for a while She wasn't you guys are matching His contact in your phone Andrew fake Scott in mind. This is true with the heart Andrew This is so much not the most supportive friend Before tonight slash today when is last time you guys had seen each other Oh Maybe let's let's say that you go down a little bit said listening to the pod really good Thanks to the shout out with the green heart because he always didn't make green heart and I was right Hi, and I thought he was being passive-aggressive We can't blame me for thinking about yeah, I can I see you You like punch him in the face and he's like you like you can't blame me. He's like What it's like you're just gonna take the good and run with it It's kind of what I'm doing right now So I'm just gonna tell you all the good things they really getting the Shane angles Do you know what I mean the Shane? Yeah, this is too much movement out. It's gonna be confusing That was she jump cuts the shit Well, okay, cuz I never post things with your name in them without texting you first and I'm an editor So I just like forgot that you were in the podcast and talked about you So then I thought he was like mad because I didn't do that But he told me that I can use his name any time I want so thanks for that I'm gonna. I'm also gonna take that and run with it And then What else did you do you said something else nice? Oh, it's cuz I dramatically posted a emo Private account post and they said how are you and I said like good Sam or something and they was like you're a liar Yeah, and then he called me and I was like an hour. It was actually very helpful good Yeah, it was a good talk probably the best one you've had Life's really just come full circle Have you ever seen those truth or drink videos like on the channel cut Really you just get super drunk It's like two people sit across the table and they there's like cards with like specific questions to their personal lives And like you either answer it or you drink and it's very revealing Well, I'm sober. I know I was just I wasn't suggesting So No, I just like Yeah, so anyways, Andrew you are you're our talk today was actually very common to me. It was very helpful Good, so yeah, he gave me good advice. I told him my life problems And it was good. What exactly did you get cut? Did you have my hair? Yeah? I was literally with you today My hair was down to here Andrew's hair So I was trying to explain You know those pillows that you have on your like family couch with the fringe on the like out the border of it You know like friends are just like straight friends. Oh, yeah, and it's just like completely sure Yeah, they don't know that because I always have my hair like Styled. Okay. Well, he doesn't have any product in it. It literally is like fringe. It's very funny Anyway, so um, it's good. Just have to give you guys a nice like three month mark. We'll see where we're at in like three months Hello everyone, it is Saturday. It is actually 1 p.m. I've just been filming all day Oh, yeah, so I haven't really vlogged and I'm filming a drive with me So I'm not gonna vlog much, but I was just spilling out my heart and all my emotions to Ian over here and he laughed at me and he was just like, uh, I Really is why I always laugh at you in times like this because you just sound like Junie B. Jones So now I'm reporting live from the life of Junie B. Jones. That would be a really good Finsta username I wonder if anyone has that didn't think I could take it fake life the fake life of Junie B. Jones It's pretty good. I have my Alfred I was just trying again once I'm done filming then I'll vlog for today because it's just like a lot of the Same stuff, you know, not good not good took my earrings out. They were a lot But I actually am in my room about to like do some editing or mood board stuff. Just random stuff Should never really like working in here, but I've been in my office all day. I have been filming Since like 8 a.m. And it is now 3 p.m. So I got two videos done, which is good But yeah, I'm just gonna get some work done. It's just Friday afternoon I'm gonna edit and kind of chill tonight. I'm hanging out with Alicia and Jeanine, which would be really fun kind of just trying to get out of like a weird funk So I've been like making sure I have plans with friends. That's like a really good tip And just like keeping myself busy and working. Then I'm like, should I not do that and should I just cry? But like I don't know what I'm gonna cry about So I have to like schedule it in, you know Okay, so it is now Friday and I I know I haven't vlog much today It was just difficult to vlog because I filmed for so long and then I was like on my computer and then I took a nap So we're actually having girls night at Alicia's. I am about to head over there. Jeanine's coming Morgan's coming I think Nicky might be coming and we're having a nice girls night It's much needed ever since last week and I realized that girls girls nights are the best nights So I'm gonna be there. I think she needs already there. So I should probably leave We literally recorded the same guy. Did you hear that? You're so cute I'm so happy we all Yes, yes, like we're all our pajamas. It's like We're about to order some food watching friends. Hey, we just got takeout. Nicky's here. Hello. We got my favorite like Vegan, what is it? Vegan typhoon? It's vegan. It's so good You have no idea, right? If I wouldn't have said that you wouldn't have known so good guys I'm wearing an outfit. I would have worn and like it often in high school It's Saturday. I have so much to get done and a lot of editing I feel like mood boards and just random things in a video. So I'm gonna head off to a coffee shop I don't know what the plans are for the rest of the day for me But all I know is I need to get out of the house and get work done. Also, you guys notice I took all the photos down. I feel like I live in a jail cell now, but honestly They were just like they were cool, but it made my room feel really busy and like kind of messy I don't know. I'm gonna put some more stuff up there It definitely does feel like a jail cell, but it was fun and also the photos are like outdated and like yeah You know, I don't know but yeah, I'm gonna go head off to a coffee shop listen to a podcast on the way Get my coffee get in just like my work grind and then yeah girls that was really fun I don't think I did a great job blogging. It was me Janine Me Janine Alicia and Nicky and it was super fun, but can I head out now? Okay, so I've been listening to the gold digger podcast this morning the secrets of success the secrets to success as A what is it multi a passionate entrepreneur. It's very good. I'm a big fan podcast really does put me in a good mood Almost six hours later wait ten. Yeah, no it is now Um six hours later heading back to my car. I got So much done and I plan just now and I listen to some new podcast. I feel so much better I'm not gonna lie. I'm really second-guessing posting this vlog because I feel like it's just kind of negative But I also hey guys I also think it's important because one second why am I talking out here? Like I said, I'm really second-guessing like posting this vlog just them like is it even good? Is it just like negative? I don't know like there are clips that I do like you this though that I like really want on my channel But it's also like this is just real life and sometimes you just don't feel great and Sometimes you feel on top of the world and I don't feel amazing at this point But I'm sure about time this video is up like everything's fine. I'm good I think I was just I'm like such a really really good spot and then all the sudden I'm like what is happening and I just feel weird. I know that I'm being vague. It's honestly cuz it's just vague to me But even with my channel, I'm kind of just like I don't I've kind of voiced this I'm not I'm nothing like Oh, I don't know what to do. It's just like I don't know what to do. I Hate that this is reflecting. I don't even know what's reflecting. This is real life But anyways, um, yeah, I'm gonna head home gonna work probably a little more in my office And then y'all is coming over tonight. Hey guys, it's not a few days later. Um, I Was gonna scrap this vlog all together But honestly like there's some footage with the yonah and drew that I love that I just went up and also I just thought like this could maybe just be helpful for people It's very real. I Didn't vlog a lot of like I stopped vlogging and I just still felt very off their main door Saturday I just hung out with a bunch of friends and honestly I woke up Sunday and I felt so much better and I was like, I'm okay and I was fine after I think Sometimes I don't well first off. I did sorry period I will say and the week before I'm extremely anxious and like depressed like it's very bad So that makes a lot of sense, but also I think that there was like a lot of things in my life and that were like I Don't know how to describe it. I was just in like a weird weird Weird funk and I just didn't feel like I had a lot of clarity about like so many things like this was not about One thing this was just like I felt weird about like friendships. I felt weird about like YouTube stuff. I Didn't really feel weird about school, which is I don't really know what I was. I love my school. I didn't really have anything but Yeah, so just talking about like Funks and like where I'm at now versus where I was a few days ago I had a really good day and it's also gloomy out, which is my favorite weather. So I'm in a really good mood, but I just have been thinking I felt like I Was just being thrown a lot of things not even necessarily bad actually a lot of good things And I hadn't like slowed down for a second and really thought things through for myself Felt like my schedule my routine things that I was doing things that I was saying things that I was feeling like They just weren't in line with like who I am and just myself in general And I felt like so many things like I was being thrown all this knowledge Like especially when you're in a program that I'm in like where you just learned so many things It's like I really want to like apply those things Like what is it knowledge of that application? Essentially means nothing. I don't remember the actual quote, but I don't know I feel like I was just being thrown a lot of things and I felt like I wasn't really growing I felt very stagnant. Um, and I just didn't like it and I just felt really weird So Sunday was fine Sunday night. I was like, you know, I'm just gonna fast That's just something that I do But it's something that I believe in and also something that um, I just was really needing clarity and to just like Be so I'm like right now. I'm off social media Would you guys normally don't know I do that good amount? But my intern Lana is like posting for me and stuff. So basically it's just so I don't see Like I don't have time to be on there and I feel very disconnected and feel like very like with myself And I just felt like I needed clarity. I don't know how many times I can say that but literally it's only Wednesday and I already feel so much better like I Things that I just like wanted to kind of just like be free from and like thoughts that I didn't want to have Like bitterness. I didn't want to have just like anxieties that I didn't want to have like all gone I can't even describe it to you But like they're literally just gone like things that I would normally be feeling or that I should probably feel or that I have like a right to feel I don't feel I don't know. It's amazing. It's literally the best thing ever Again, I never want this channel to be something that I'm not so I don't want it to Be like oh, I always have my life together like there's a lot of times where like I do I would never say actually in my life together But like where I am like productive and like getting things done blah blah blah, whatever. It's awesome I love that but also there are times where I'm like this and I'm like, I don't know And I just it's okay to feel that way. It's okay to be in a funk Take a step back breathe like instead even like just driving in the car lately instead of like listening to a podcast We're sending to music. I will literally just drive in silence and I don't do that Like I don't really I don't dislike silence But like I'm the person who's like the lasting my volume at full volume like my all my my sunroof stuff My windows are down like that's me but I just like sitting in silence and like for me a lot of it is like faith and like praying and whatever but Just like being with God being with whatever you believe in I just needed that time I don't know. I don't know if any of this is making sense I hope this is helpful to someone, but I just felt really overwhelmed and really overrun and really like unsure of What I was doing and it didn't even have to be something big I just felt off like typically when something feels off something is off and I just wanted to kind of like reset Like what I was doing like my director Nate bus person ever My podcast is that with him actually the episode you guys listen to it But always says like the system that you have right now I'm gonna I'm gonna butcher this I butcher every quote that I try to quote The system that you have right now is perfect the results that you're getting it's like, okay I don't necessarily want the results that I'm getting I want to be like ahead of that and just be smart But also at the same time it's really important to you instead of Insist on like always getting better and always learning something like it's so important to just like be and sit still and Reflect on things and be like, okay. This is how I could have fixed that. This is how I should handle that better This is something that I learned that I really want to put into my life This is someone that I really value and I really need to invest more time into like it's so important to just sit there I feel like I just hadn't done that so I was just really going crazy and I was just feeling like I Don't know. I just I don't I don't know. I just feel like from this fast I already feel So much better and just so much more at peace about things and it's just literally it's like the best thing ever So basically I'm just on like a social media cleanse But it's not because of social media like I think social media is one of the greatest things to ever happen Like I am so behind it But for me, it's just something that like I am on a lot So if I'm trying to like disconnect it's something that like I have to personally like delete for a second just because That's how I disconnect. I don't know but I think social media is amazing So anyways, I feel so much better Also in times like this when I'm feeling really off It just reminds me of like friends that I had that are so amazing like drew for example Even though I want to kill him half the time Like called me and we had like an hour-long conversation and he is so calming to me I don't know why he also makes me angry than anyone does not anymore, but like he's just so Good like he really is and there's just so many people in my life that I'm like wow I have the best friends like today. I was driving just got back from a big school in a meeting And I was driving and I literally like teared up because I'm like I am so happy and like So grateful for the life that I live like I don't deserve I'm doing ever like I literally like I don't I'm just so happy like I love my friends so much I love my program so much. I love like YouTube my podcast Like I'm like I'm so grateful for all of that and I don't want to get into a place again Where I feel like I'm just like a robot running around and whatever and I want to be like more intentional and just be better And I think it's smart for everyone. I think that people should do this all the time and like self-reflect and not Be like me and wait until you're like really at like rock bottom, but I'm was out of rock bottom This is like very dramatic, but just saying it's so normal to like have go through funks and feel weird I hope that this makes sense to someone, but it is really so normal and Well, I do to cope with it hang out with friends Fasting is huge for me. That's not just what I do. I'm feeling off It's not the only time I fast I'm to say like fasting is huge for me personally There's a book by Jensen Franklin on fasting that I'm reading like finishing up right now But I've been reading for like off and on for a while and it's amazing like it just talks like it's I can't even Rave about enough if you're interested in that um, but yeah, I feel so much better now So yeah, this is just you guys really got to see me go through it a little bit I think I was really not I was not that was not me. That was not good. So I love you guys so much Um, I hope this vlog which is like honestly just very real I hope this helped someone or made something like I don't know like my life is awesome I don't know what's wrong with me, but I'm just saying everyone goes through these weird times And I hope it's relatable to someone and then I'm not crazy. So that is it for this really weird vlog Okay, love you guys so much subscribe podcast everything linked down below. I'll see you guys soon. Bye