 J-E-L-L-O! The Jello program starring Jack Benny with Mary Livingston and Phil Harris and his orchestra. The orchestra opens the program with Curly Top from the picture of the same name. First impressions can be mighty important, of course, but as a rule, last impressions are even more important. And the last impression of a meal depends largely upon the dessert. That's why it's such a good idea to serve Jello and be sure of a happy ending. Jello is lovely to look at, for one thing, its bright glowing color is wonderfully appealing, but that's only a first impression. Your final impression of Jello comes after you've tasted it, and from then on you'll never forget its rich, delicious flavor, the flavor of fresh ripe fruit skillfully blended. But remember, Jello and only Jello brings you that extra-rich fruit flavor. So whenever you want a good-looking, swell-tasting, inexpensive dessert, get Jello. Get the real thing. Incest on genuine Jello. Ladies and gentlemen, through the courtesy of NBC, we bring you our master of ceremonies through the courtesy of Paramount, Jack Benny, through the courtesy of Jello. Now, Jello, again, this is Jack Benny coming to you through the courtesy of Don Wilson. Thank you, Don. Thank you. Thank you, Don. Thank you, Jack. No, no, no, Don, you're the one to be thanked. Oh, no, Jack, you should be the recipient. Well, isn't this a polite business, folks? You know, Don, we ought to always open our program with this sweet and friendly spirit. It shows the brotherly feeling that really exists in our little group. Yes, Jack, I agree with you. Of course, Don, there are times when the way you introduce me makes me feel like sucking you right in the nose. Oh, it does, huh? Yes, through the courtesy of my right arm. You mean the one you play that lousy fiddle with? Yes, thank you, Don. Thank you, Jack. Well, aren't we the refined rodents? Hey, Don, I noticed the boys played their first number tonight without Phil. Is he late again? Oh, yes, he called up a little while ago and said that he might be delayed. Oh, he might. You know, he's getting pretty independent lately since those movie stars have been calling him up. Carol, Lombard and Ginger. Very good looking, you know. Well, I'm always here on time and I'm not exactly a Dracula. No, not exactly. Thank you, Don. Thank you, Jack. Well, anyway, I've got to do something about Harris. He's got to make up his mind whether he wants his girls or his job. Hello, Jack. Hello, Mary. How'd you get here so early? Through the courtesy of a taxi cab. Oh. Hey, Mary, I haven't seen you since you were at my house for Thanksgiving. Well, that reminds me, Jack, I want to thank you for inviting me to dinner last Thursday. Oh, that's all right. Did you enjoy the dinner, Mary? Well, everything was fine except the turkey. Oh. See, that was the toughest turkey I ever had. It was? Yeah, I bet they had to kill it with a machine gun. Well, there was nothing wrong with that dinner. The turkey was all right and everybody had plenty to eat. I had plenty after the first mouthful. Oh, you would know good food, anyway. You liked the turkey, didn't you, Don? Well, I... Thank you. Thank you, Jack. Uh, say Jack, where's Phil? Oh, he's home. What's this program in his life? But then it's my fault, anyway. Why? I forgot to specify in his contract that he's supposed to be here. You know, since the women have been calling him up, I can't do a thing with him. I'll bet half the girls in this audience tonight are Phil's. There you are, you see? Oh, Mary, I'm surprised you're not applauding. I can't with a script in my hands. Oh. Say, Don, I just thought of a great idea. You want to have some fun? Yeah, what's up? Listen, you know, all the movie stars have been calling Phil up. Well, I'm going to call him up and make believe it's May West. You know, kid him along. Do you think you can imitate May West? Oh, sure, he'll never get wise. He's too conceited, anyway. Now, look, I'll call him up and tell him to meet me on the corner of Sunset and Highland. Oh, that's great. Hey, imagine making a date with a girl she don't show up. Oh, boy, will that be embarrassing. You ought to know. Yeah, well, never mind that. Hand me the phone. Number, please. Give me Oxford 7071. Deposit a nickel, please. A good one. Oh. If I had known this was going to run into money, I'd never have started it. Now, quiet, everybody. This is going to be good for this. Hello. Hello. Is this Mr. Harris? Why, yes, sir. Hi, you big boy. How am I doing? Who is this? This is May West. Come up and see me sometime. Who? Don't you recognize the voice? I must be losing my grip. Well, well, this is a surprise. Well, how would you like to meet me sometime? We'll go out and peel a grape. Gee, honey, that'd be great. Are you doing anything tonight? No, nothing special. What's on your mind? How am I doing, Mary? If it's George Alice, you're terrific. That's so. Well, listen, Phil D., how about meeting me tonight at 10 o'clock in the corner of Sunset and Highland? Okay, I'll be right there. Now, I'll be right there. I'll be right there. Okay, I'll be right there. Now, don't forget. I won't. So long, Phil. Goodbye, Jack. Well, how do you like that of all the double crossings? Why don't you ask me what I'm laughing at? I'm afraid of the answer. Play, boys. Who's that knocking at my heart from my forthcoming Paramount picture, College Holiday, played by Phil Harris's meal tickets, with a dashing maestro on his way to work, I hope. Say, Jack. Oh, hello, Kenny. I just bumped into Phil Harris in the drugstore. Oh, what did he say? He didn't say anything. I said, pardon me. Well, that was quite an interesting conversation. Did he infer that there was a remote possibility of his appearing in this vicinity in the near future? Oh, you just said that to mix me up. Yeah. Come in. Pardon me. Would you like to buy some Thanksgiving cards? Thanksgiving cards? Well, Thanksgiving is over. Oh, then how about some hash? No, no, no, thank you. Thank you, Miss West. Hmm, wise guy. Oh, Jack, I almost forgot. I want to thank you for inviting me to your Thanksgiving dinner. You're welcome, Kenny. How'd you like the turkey? Well, I got the wishbone. Oh, did you make a wish? Yeah, I wish there was some meat on it. Say, Kenny. Where do you keep your soda fountain, Phil, in the living room? Yes, you funny man. Well, I had you fooled on the telephone, anyway. I called you by your name, didn't I? Oh, it was just a wild guess. Well, no kidding. How did you know I wasn't May West? Well, in the first place, it sounded like Jack Benny. I see. And in the second place, May West was with me at the time. Oh, well, at first I thought my imitation was bad. Anyway, now that you've finally got here, play Kenny's song, will ya? Okay. That is unless you've got a date with Garbo. She'll wait. Sing, Kenny. Say, Jack. What? Keep still. It's a good idea, man. Sweet music is the poetry of romance. There is no without a song such a little thing to do so few. I'll sing you a thousand love songs from Cain and Mabel, sung by Kenny Baker, accompanied by Hollywood's Hartfraub and his orchestra. Mary, look at Phil over there with that wavy hair. I bet he puts curlers in it at night. Say, Phil, where do you get your permanent? The same place you get your two-pace. Well, well, that was some snappy retort. Who told you to say that, Carol Lombard? No, I thought of it myself. Oh, you did, huh? Yeah, you want to make something out of it? Well, say, Kenny. Don't change the subject. I said you want to make something out of it. Yes, he does. Quiet. Stay out of this. I'll handle this. Say, Kenny. Come in. That's your knees. But honestly, Kenny, as I started to tell you, your boy sounded exceptionally good tonight. Really, it moved me deeply. Yeah? You want to make something out of it? What? I said, do you want to make something out of it? Yes, I do. Any time and any place. Right now, if you want to. Gee, Jack, I was only fooling. Oh, back and down, eh? Well, just be careful, that's all. And that goes for nearly everybody in this company. You get me? Atta boy, Tiger. Yeah, you said it. Well, anyway, now that we're all understand each other, tonight, ladies and gentlemen, is our feature attraction for this program. We are going to deviate from the rather strenuous and noisy type of Wild West drama, which we have been presenting lately. Tonight, we will go from the ridiculous to the sublamé by offering a refined, quite little English drawing room play entitled Lady Windermere's Fan Dance. The locale is Worcestershire on the sauce. The country seat of Lord and Lady. That's not my knees come in. Special delivery for Jack Benny. Hmm, same voice as a car sale. Here, boy. Who's it from, Jack? I don't know. It's postmarked baked potato Idaho. You read it, Mary, while I look over the play. Okay. It says, Mr. Jack Benny, care of NBC Ranch, Hollywood, California. Dear Buck. Well, it must be from someone who heard last week's program. Uh, for two weeks now... I just added me things in there, you know. For two weeks now, you've been trying to do your Western drama, Buck Benny, Rise Again. But something always happens. So please finish it tonight as my husband is just crazy about Western things. Oh. Right now, he is sitting at the radio eating a Western sandwich and spilling ketchup on his wet. That's silly. Please grant my request, and we'll be listening in. Signed Mrs. W. W. Westover, 446 Western Avenue. What are you going to do about it, Jack? Well, Mary, we can't disappoint fans like Mr. and Mrs. Westover. So tonight, folks, we will continue with Buck Benny, Rise Again. And we will have to postpone our English drawing room drama. What do I say, old fellow? Oh, you can't do this to me. Come back next week. Very well. Cheerio. These actors. Well, boys, let's get into a real Western mood. Kenny, pass out the bandanas. Shall I peel them? I said bandanas. So now, ladies and gentlemen, Buck Benny will go on immediately after the next number. Hey, Jack, what part am I going to play? Oh, you are, Donna. You can play the part of Mary's father, same as last week. That is, if you're available. Of course, I don't want you to work too hard, so I'll just give you a small part. You always do. Well, you talk enough at the palomar in your own program. Oh, boy, that was a Humsey. You're my friend. Yeah, shall I play now? You might as well. You'll never think of an answer to that one. Try to match wits with me. Well, yeah. A little love from College Holiday, played by and his orchestra. And now, folks, for the third time we begin our western drama, Buck Benny Rides Again, or Three Weeks on a Horse. I will play the part of Sheriff Buck Benny, as tough an ombre has ever slept an ombre in the Ailgate. Just a two-fisted, quick-triggered marksman who shoots from the hip and never misses. May I demonstrate? Hey, boy, hold up that cornet. Ready? Well, that was close enough. Oh, Jack. What? Can we come back in the room now? Yes. Kenny Baker will play the part of my horse called Partner. Say something, partner. The locale of our little play is Texas, the lone star state. And I want to say right now that Texas is one of the finest states in the Union, even if it did only get one star. The opening scene is the ranch house of Frank Carson in Sudden Death Valley. Curtain. Music. Hello, Daisy. Hello, tall, dark and bow-legged. Well, gal, you wouldn't have any trouble straddling the barrels yourself. Where's your pappy? Didn't you hear? They carried him home last night. Was he shot? Only 50%. Tell me, Daisy, how long has your pappy been drunk? I don't know. I'm only 22. He must have been born with a silver fizz in his mouth. Wake your pappy up. I've got to talk to him. He'll be up soon. He's got the cocktail shaker set for nine o'clock. Oh, say, Daisy, before your pappy gets here, I want to ask you something that's been on my mind for a long time. What's that? Will you marry me? Well, thanks, Buck. I'd like to, but I can't leave my pappy. He's taken care of me ever since I was a yearling. I know that. So I can't never marry nobody while pappy's alive. That show breaks me up. Can't nothing do. Well, Buck, you might leave your gun here and ask me again tomorrow. That's fine. We'll spend our honeymoon on a roll. Hey, Daisy. Daisy. Here comes pappy now. Hello, Frank. Hello, Buck. Are you hurt? That was you that fell down the steps. It was ouch. Now, listen, Frank, I hear that them rustlers, I hear them rustlers start to get up. Have you ever heard those rustlers? You heard them rustlers? Do you hear them rustlers? You hear them rustlers? You hear them rustlers don't throw some of your cows again last night. You hear them rustlers don't throw some of your cows again last night. I don't know. Look out of the window there and tell me how many head of cattle you've got left. I can't tell you, Buck, they're facin' the other way. Well, then let it go. Any ideas who took them? Cadwitz, Cactus, Face, Elmer. Cactus, Face, Elmer, and Python. Well, I'm a-going and I ain't coming back till I get him. Be careful, Buck. He's a dangerous character. I like him that way. I'm a-going to shoot it out with that vomit, and if I don't come back, you know I died with my boot shot. Goodbye, Frank. So long, D.Z. I'm a-hitting for Ike Muller-Saloon. Buck, Betty, rides again. Steady, partner. Here he is. Yippee! Yippee! Scene two. We now take you to Ike Muller-Saloon, where we find Sheriff Buck Benny just arriving. Ho, ho! I'm a-going inside, partner. Are you going with me? No, Buck. If you want me, I'll be over by the water and talk. Okay. What time is it? 9.30. Thanks. Time supplies. That was a nifty. See you later. Hiya, Curly. Howdy, Buck. Hello, Kate. How are they treating you? They ain't. Well, well, well, well, well, if it ain't Buck Benny. Why, Slim Wilson, you old horned hoe. No, I got a new fangle by now called Jell-O. Jell-O, what's that? Why, it's an up-and-coming young dessert, and I wouldn't be surprised that someday millions of people will be eating it. Well, shut my Texas track. Hey, Slim. Put one over on you that time, Slim. I'm afraid you did. Slim, have you seen Cactus Face Elmer around? Yes, Buck. There he is, right back at you. Hmm, got him sooner than I expected. Are you Cactus Face Elmer? That's me, Buck Benny. And you're a tough arm ray, huh? Now, my thought is asking. You see those notches on my gums? Yes. If you get fresh, I'll tell them to move over. I've been a-aimin' to meet up with you, Cactus. You want her for the stealin' of Frank Costin's cows. I didn't take him, and would you like to buy some milk? Oh, you admit you took him, huh? Take it easy, poopsie. You want to make something out of it? Now, listen here, Cactus. You got those cows now on and over they are. You know, this country ain't healthy for cattle thieves. I never felt better in my life. Now, listen, Cactus Face, I came here to get you, and I'm going to bring you back dead or alive. Now, which way do you want to go? I think so. Come on with me. It's okay, boys. I got him. Come on, Cactus. Give me your knife and gun. Here's the gun. Where's the knife? In your back. I thought I fell a draft. Well, you've reached the end of your old Cactus Face. Come along, peaceable. Look out, Buck! This will be continued next Sunday night. Will Buck get back to space? Will the lights be fixed? Will the cows be contended? That's enough, Don. Make them listen in. Play, Phil. Everyone who enjoys good things is certain to enjoy jello chocolate pudding, a new product that hits a new high in real old-fashioned goodness. Jello chocolate pudding is far smoother, creamier, more chocolatey. And what's more, it has that grand homemade taste that's always so welcome everywhere. Jello chocolate pudding is wonderfully easy and economical to make, too. Here's all you do. Just mix the contents of one package with some milk in the top of your double boiler and let it cook until smooth and luscious. It only takes about 10 minutes. Then you need only wait until the mixture has cooled before serving it in sherbet glasses and bringing it to your table. A delicious dessert triumph. Jello chocolate pudding sells for the same low price as jello. And one package will give you sick servings. And that's certainly a lot of goodness for very little expense. So ask your grocer for jello chocolate pudding in the morning. If he hasn't put it in stock yet, be sure he orders it for you. Remember the name Jello chocolate pudding. This is the last number of the ninth program in the new Jello series. And I reckon we'll be with you again next Sunday night at the same time. Come along, Daisy. I'll take you home on my horse. Oh, we both can't get on, can he? That's right. Good night. Thank you. Everybody knows from the show, oh, please, the Jello program starring Jack Benny has come to you at NBC Studios in Hollywood. This is the red network of the national broadcasting company. K.F.I. Los Angeles Earl C. Anthony, Incorporated.