 Once again, we are abroad with the Lockhart's, who are taking a trip through Europe, that is, Mrs. Lockhart is taking Mr. Lockhart. Here we find this typical Mr. and Mrs. enjoying the sights of London and of rural England. As you probably know, Mr. Lockhart represents the average businessman. Blunt, comfortable, knows his own mind, enjoys his business and his home community, and would much rather have gone fishing. Mrs. Lockhart is the pleasant type. A good housekeeper, belongs to the women's club and the literary club of her town, and still retains the spirit of romance. We listen in to them as they are about to take a sightseeing trip around London. Here we are, dear. This is the sightseeing bus. Lord, I'll feel foolish sitting up there. No, you won't. Everybody else does it. Now let's sit in the middle of the bus. No, let's sit up there near the driver. Oh, I think it's nicer back here. I want to be near the guide so I can ask him questions. But, dear, they don't want to be pestered with questions when they're explaining things. Now, my dear, you brought me over on this trip to find out things, and I'm going to find them out. All right, dear. Have it your own way, but do be tactful. I'm always tactful. Look, they're getting ready to start. There's our guide. He looks a nice person. Good morning, ladies and gentlemen. We've a nice morning for our drive around the historical parts of the great city of London, the Cross Road to the Empire. Excuse me, guide. Yes, sir? What are we going to see this morning? If I told you that now, sir, you wouldn't have any nice surprises left, all in good time. All right, Harry, let's get started. Now then, ladies and gentlemen, kindly give me your attention, please. We shall stop the drive right here at Marble Arch. If you kindly look on your left, you will see the arch, and you will notice it is made of marble, and that is how it gets its name, Marble Arch. We are now passing down Park Lane. There's the park over on your right, and here's the lane, and thus we get Park Lane. Can you understand him, dear? Pretty well. Well, I can. In the park every Sunday, the British work and men is allowed three-speech, when he can all are down with the government, down with the out-of-law. Guide, doesn't the government stop them from allering down with the government? Oh, no, sir. They couldn't do that. There'd be a revolution. But as long as they let him talk about it, the British work and men is quite happy, sir. Well, why don't we stop here? Oh, there's too much to see, sir. Now then, ladies and gentlemen, we are in Piccadilly. On your left are some of London's exclusive hotels. On your right is St. James Street, and at the bottom is St. James Palace, residence of the Prince of Wales. You ought to pay a visit there before you leave London. Well, now, dear, these are the places we want to stop and see. I know, dear, but maybe they don't go there on this trip. And here's the famous Leicester Square, the Times Square of London. Great theatrical and amusement centre, particularly if I may say so, after eleven o'clock at night. Guide, why after eleven o'clock at night? I'll tell you that on the QT, sir. Now then, ladies and gentlemen, we are approaching Trafalgar Square, one of the finest open spaces in Europe. On the top of the monument in the centre stands Lord Nelson who said, England expects that every man this day will do his duty. And that's why I'm here this morning. And what did Nelson do? He chiefly noted, sir, for winning the battle of Trafalgar Bay, losing a nine, and keeping Lady Hamilton happy. We are now proceeding down Whitehall. In the far distances Buckingham Palace, on your right is the Admiralty Arch, and on your left is the famous Scotland Yard you've all read about. Where's the yard? I don't see any yard. Dear, don't ask so many questions. Why, they put a building up on it now, sir. It used to be right there where I'm pointing. And many's the time I've seen Mr. Sherlock Holmes walk across that very yard. But wasn't he a fictitious character? He might have been to you, ma'am, but he was very real to me. Why do they call it Scotland Yard? Oh, don't ask so many questions, Will. Now, ladies and gentlemen, next on your left is the Banquetting Hall of Whitehall Palace. You see the little window up there in the centre? Which one? There's about a hundred of them up there. The middle one, sir. That's where King Charles I lost his head. What for? Don't ask so many questions, Will. For not giving a right answer, sir. He said no when he should have said yes. And if I may say so, he's the only king in history to have lost his head twice because of those two little words. How was that? Why, sir, he lost his head the first time when he said yes to Nell Green and he lost it the second time when he said no to Cromwell. You have a sense of humour, haven't you? Well, sir, I do like my little joke. If I do say so, there's not much pleasure in taking tourists around every day, you know? It's in one ear and out the other. Now, then, ladies and gentlemen, on your right is the Horse Guard. You can see the horses and the guards are sitting on top of them and thus we have the Horse Guard. Now, don't they look a picture, Will? Oh, the horses? No, silly, the guards. We are now passing Downing Street and at number 10 is the residence of the Prime Minister of England. I've got to see that. Now, now, where is that guide? I'm sorry, sir. We've just passed it. And now, ladies and gentlemen, you have your first glimpse of the House of Lords commonly called the Old Lady's Home. Do we go inside there? No, sir, no, sir, you can only obtain entrance by permission. Principally, I think, because it interferes with their sleep. Now, then, ladies and gentlemen, over on your right is a statue of Abraham Lincoln contemplating Westminster Abbey. And if I may say so, the greatest man of America and the greatest building in England. Well, well, now there's Old Abe himself right here in the heart of London. Now, isn't that fine, Awesome? Certainly is. But did this fellow this guide talk so fast? I can't understand a word he says. And you said, slow old England will. Now, then, ladies and gentlemen, we are now proceeding along the embankment with the River Thames on your right. Representing, if I may say so, the liquid history of England. And finally, we will arrive at the Tower of London which we shall visit. What did he call the River Thames? The liquid history of England. Rather pretty, isn't it, dear? It sounds to me like a slogan for Scotch whisky. Oh, will. Now, ladies and gentlemen, here we are at the Tower of London. Representing the good old days of Mary England and Bluff King Hale. The man, if I may say so, who made divorce fashionable. Follow me, please, and keep close together. Oh, do you see that man over there in the uniform? He's one of the guards of the Tower. They call him the beef eater. That chap I know him though, he's a vegetarian. We are now standing on Tower Hill. From the year 1388, 17 executions were performed on the very spot you're standing on, madam. Oh, mercy. Follow me, please. The head of us now is the Tower Mote. You see the square window up there? From that window, ladies and gentlemen, Lady Jane Gray saw her husband's headless body brought in from Tower Hill. Good gracious. My lord. Ah, those were the good old days of England. Mary England, not off this way, please. Good. Things they did in those days, Will. I'll never again say these people are slow. This bird has me gasping for breath already. Here we are, please. Now, keep close together. The spot you are now standing on, ladies and gentlemen, is called Tower Green, very much visited nowadays and very much avoided, if I may say so, in those good old days I've just mentioned. This was Henry VIII's favorite parting place. Now, that's better. That's more interesting and pretty. Who did he part from here, Mr. Guide? Why, sir, this is where he said goodbye to his second wife, Queen Anne Bolin, and his fifth wife, Queen Catherine Howard. How do you mean he said goodbye? Why, madam? Old Henry cut off Anne Bolin's head here in May 1536. Heaven. And Catherine Howard dead six years later in 1542. Oh, dear. Now, ladies and gentlemen, would anyone like to visit the Bloody Tower? Oh, no, gracious, no. No, I guess we've had enough. Just as you like, sir, then we'll return to the motor and go back to the hotel. Well, dear, I'm glad of one thing. Watch that. That we're going to the lovely Lake District tomorrow to see where Wordsworth lived. Wordsworth? Who was he? Why, the poet, dear, you remember. I read one of his poems at the woman's club back home. Oh, well, do you know what would please me more than anything right now? What, dear? To be able to step into a child's restaurant and order up a good cup of coffee. We've been all through Wordsworth's cottage where he wrote his beautiful poems. Wasn't it delightful, dear, and so quaint? Yes, but I don't see how they ever lived in those tiny cottages. Look, dear, there's an old character. He must be the man who owns the blacksmith's shop. Look, he's coming towards us. Good day to you. Good day to you. A fine day it is for seeing the cottage under. Yes, it's a nice day. Ah, but fine or wet, there'll be always folk coming to visit the cottage. Now, do you mind telling me what it is you think you were going to see in there? Well, it's Wordsworth's cottage, and he was a very famous man. Famous, you call it? Yes, and a poet. And we came to see the place where he lived and worked. Ah, worked, ah, worked, you call it. I, that's what you all think, but I'll tell you different. Old Wordsworth, that's what we called him. He never did a stroke of work in his life. Oh, well, I don't see how you could say that. Well, ma'am, I'll tell you, and it's a very disappointing tale, too. Will, Will, come here, don't go away. Yes, your husband will like to listen. My father knew Old Wordsworth, my grandfather knew him, and a queer man he was, silent, unfriendly. He was that. He never bid the time of day to anyone. He'd go on down there to that bit of a rock by the lake that you call Wordsworth's seat, and he'd sit there all day and do nothing. Nothing, mind you, but look at the water in the mountains. We thought he was deaf. Yes, I suppose you would. Now, you can call that work if you've a mind to, but I'm telling you, Old Wordsworth never did a stroke of work in his life, and then he ups and he dies, and all the people say what a fine man he was. Tell me, father was nearly fit to boil, and now they charge a shillen to see where he lives, and yet here was my grandfather, and then my father, and now me, working here by the sweat of her brow in the toil of her hands, from sunrise to sunset, and what do we get out of it, nothing, young lady, and I tell you, with no shillens coming our way and very few horses, life is very disappointing. Well, now that's a very interesting story. Dear, do you see what he's after? Certainly I do, and he deserves it. Here, my friend, have a glass of beer on me. And me too. Now, that's very kind of you, and I'll drink your health tonight, and we'll begin. Goodbye. Goodbye. Good day, dear, and God bless you both. What do you think of that for, take me? Why, I think it was the most delightful experience I've ever had. Say, did I say the English were slow? You did. I'm dead wrong. He's dead wrong. And so we leave the Lockhearts enjoying the beauty of the English Lake District and the charm of London. Next week, we shall find them again, crossing the English Channel and arriving in Paris, where they continue their experiences abroad.