 The makers of Wrigley's Spearmint Chewing Gum invite you to enjoy life, life with Luigi, a comedy show created by Si Howard, directed by Mack Benhoff and starring that celebrated actor, Mr. J. Carol Nash, with Alan Reed as Pasquale. Friends, the makers of Wrigley's Spearmint Chewing Gum are glad to bring you life with Luigi because they feel it's a friendly, good-natured show that offers you relaxation and enjoyment. And you know, Wrigley's Spearmint Chewing Gum offers you relaxation and enjoyment too. It's pleasant to chew on a smooth piece of Wrigley's Spearmint while you're working, shopping, listening to your radio or doing just about anything. Wrigley's Spearmint Gum tastes good, it's refreshing, and the good easy chewing gives you comfort and satisfaction. So chew Wrigley's Spearmint Gum often, every day, millions enjoy it and you will too. Now Wrigley's Spearmint Chewing Gum brings you Luigi as he writes another letter describing his adventures in America to his mama Vasco in Italy. In my high school yesterday, I learned very interesting things about America. For instance, they got a Portland domain and a Portland arrogant. Also Kansas City, Kansas, and Kansas City, Missouri. That's America for you, mommy. Soon as the city starts to do good business, it's open up a branch in another state there. So mommy has lots of fields in America. There's all the fields in Texas, the cotton fields in Louisiana, wheat fields in Nebraska, and a marshall fields in Chicago. Don't get it mixed up, they don't grow marshals in there. But that's just a bigger department to start a mama mia. But also I have lots of fun in a school of mama mia with my friends, Schultz, Olson, Horowitz, and the most beautiful teacher in all of Chicago. Mama mia, instead of being smart with Einstein, I would rather be stupid or would have been spalding. And I write to now, but she's getting a little bit too mad at me because, well, I came all the way to my school three times this week and tonight I'm going to start out early and surprise her by being the first one in the class. America, I love you. You're like a papa to me. I'm going to get to the taxi, honey, gonna be done in half an hour. Hey, what's the matter little bambina? Why are you crying? I'm lost. Oh, where's your mama? I don't know, she lost. Well, now come on, stop crying, stop, stop here. I'm going to dry up for you, here's my happy chiffy. Go on a blow. All right, then I'll tell me what's your name? Stevie. Stevie what? You're looking at a place to stop crying. Do you know where you live, Stevie? In my house. Well, where's your house? Next to the laundry. What street is the laundry? Let me see, laundry is on the same street as the house, huh? That's right. And, uh, and they're near Watte. Well, what's the matter now? You're lost too. I'm going to take you to the police station and we're going to get a two ice cream cone. Mr. Vasco. I'm sorry, I'm a lady, Ms. Spaulding, you see what's happened. Never mind the excuses, Mr. Vasco, that's the fourth time this week. Give me the machine. He didn't mean it, Ms. Spaulding, maybe he had it a good reason. Keep quiet, Mr. Schultz. But I only thought. One more word and you go home. I've had enough from you. Wait a second, I wasn't late, Luigi was. Ms. Spaulding, I'm, I had a good reason this time. Mr. Vasco, I can excuse one lateness, possibly two, but four times in one week is a little too much. Don't you like school? Like school. Well, suppose you go home tonight, Mr. Vasco, and make up your mind just how important your education is to you. No, please, please, Ms. Spaulding, then don't be angry with me. Good night, Mr. Vasco. Now, Clive, you may open your book. That's the first time, first time she's ever hollered under me. My friend. Hey, Luigi, listen, I've got three free passes to the movies. How's about you and me and Arosa going? Not thanks. All right, I stay home, but just you and Arosa. No, Pascuali. Luigi, you mind if me and Arosa go? Go, Pascuali. What's wrong with you, little banana nose? You know, look so good. I'm fine. You catching the flu? No, no flu. This is the flu season, Luigi. No, Pascuali, no flu. Can't be too sure, Luigi. Those are flu bugs. They got a way of fooling you. They run around you insides and they can believe they're just cold germs, and then a bang. They rip off of their masks, and it's a goodbye, everybody. Hello, pedicillin. Man, let me feel your head, Luigi. Stop it, that's... All right, I stop. I only want... Hey, how come you home so early from the school tonight? Well, I, I got to send home. Don't tell me they filled up your head with all the education it can hold. Well, if you gotta know, Miss Polly got a man on me. Why, what happened? You forgot how to spell cat? No. I came late to school four times this week, sir. She hollered at me. She, she what? She hollered at me. How? She said, Mr. Bascuali, supposing you go home and see just how important it is to unite the school. Didn't even use a good English, huh? What did you say to her? I could have forgiven me. Ah, you beggar. I made a fool of yourself in front of the whole class. Took Schultz as a place. No, Bascuali, it wasn't, it wasn't so bad. It was worse than you think, you poor little cabbage bush. That a holler could have crippled you for life. Huh? Why? Miss Polly, into you represents a womanhoodedness, right? I suppose so. Well, when she's a holler on you, it's like all the womanhoodedness is a holler on you. I don't like to be hollered on even by womanhoodedness. Now you're talking like a man. I don't blame you for not wanting to be hollered on. You wouldn't let the postman holler on you. No. You wouldn't let the cop holler on you. No. You wouldn't let me holler on you. Well, I'm a different. Yeah, but after all, I'm, I'm got a feelings. Ah, I'd set a spot the way you feel it the most. Your feelings. Luigi, you ever hear about a psychology? That's all about the mind. I once read articles that said a night school of teachers should never holler on a pupils because the words hide themselves in your subconscious. And while you're sleeping, they jump out, your face turns a pale, you wake up over the inferior complexion. She's gonna find out. Luigi Basko, here's the guy who's a pride. Right, Luigi. That's because it's in your blood. I knew you mom and a papa. And if there's anything that they hated, it wasn't me and hollered on. Yeah? Your papa, especially. Oh, he had a terrible temper. The worst of the Castellabare. I remember once a summer neighbor, Philippe, would come around. He began to tease a new papa while he was milking the cow. What the papa did? He aimed the cow at Philippe and give him a white Christmas in the middle of June. That's all right, Luigi. Come on. Forget about a night school. The only real education that comes with my life, anyway. Do you really think it's a Pascuali? Sure. Look at me. Pascuali? No, I'm not so sure. Oh, stop. If you got a million dollars in the bank, the tellers are never going to ask you what happened in 1729. Maybe you'll write the Pascuali. Hello, Luigi. Hello, Luigi. Come on in. Sit down. Eh, you better excuse my people. I've got to go back to my restaurant. Luigi, she didn't mean what she said. Oh, of course not. No, Miss Spaulding was just a little yittery today. That's all. Yeah, I think so. You know, twice after you left, Luigi, she called me Mr. Basco by mistake. And twice I answered just like you would have and collected your zero. Right, Luigi. Love and be happy. Tomorrow you come in on time and she's going to forget the whole thing. I don't know if I was coming to school tomorrow, sure, sir. What? No, you're acting like a child, Luigi. However, somehow I'm a no-child. I'm sorry. Believe me, Luigi, you are taking the whole thing too much to heart. Well, she had no right to chase me out without listening to me first. Why did you come late tonight, Luigi? Well, I'm going to have to tell her nobody. But you could tell us, Luigi, we're your friends. Little boy was the last time I took him to the police station. Well, you should have turned him over to his draft board. Honestly, the way some mamas watch their children, you think they grew on trees. Yeah, I think that's where Marilyn Monroe came from. Ah, such limbs. Use your head. Luigi is in no mood for jokes. But no, no, no, no, no, go on a shirt. Say what you want. I'm fine. Luigi, listen to me. Forgot what you said before about not coming in tomorrow. That's just foolish talk. Education is education. How it's, not only am I not to come in tomorrow, I'm never coming back to school. Well, you better think it over, Luigi. Never coming back to school? But this is terrible. Who am I going to copy from? Ah, look, you little dumb cop, you are coming to school tomorrow, even if we gotta come in here and drag you out by the feet. No, no, no, just, my mind isn't made up. Look, fellas, let's not talk about it for a while. Luigi, how about playing a little pre-knuckle? Could teach you a chess. Luigi? No, no, friends, I'm a little bit tired, and I think I'm, well, I'm going to listen to the radio or my Caruso records, and well, then I'm going to go to sleep. Well, all right, maybe you're going to feel different tomorrow, Luigi. I don't think so, should I say? Good night, Luigi. Good night, I'll see you. Good night, Luigi. Good night, my friends. Oh, well, I think I'm, I'm going to turn on the radio. That's another good, I'm going to listen to Caruso. She should, she should have never heard of the enemy. Before we return to life with Luigi, here's an easy way to get more enjoyment and satisfaction out of the things you do each day. Keep a package of delicious, wriggly, spearmint gum handy, and chew a stick from time to time. You see, chewing on a good, smooth piece of gum just naturally helps you feel better and enjoy what you're doing. The easy chewing action sort of relaxes you and makes things go smoother and pleasanter for you. Besides, wriggly, spearmint chewing gum tastes good. It's refreshing, delicious, and really satisfying. Sweetens your breath too. So enjoy chewing wriggly, spearmint gum often, every day. Get a few packages and always keep some handy. Now let's turn to page two of Luigi Vasco's letter to his mother in Italy. Well, my mom and me, it's, it's a true day since I stopped at my night school and stayed like three years. Last night I stood outside of the school building, look up on the fourth floor to miss Pauline as a class. Well, I thought maybe she's going to look down and maybe apologize to me for hollering, but I wait until nothing is happening. So I walk off to the side to walk into the street. Maybe she's going to see me better there. Nothing happened. So I walked further into the street, then a further and a further and what's happened? After half hour a cop is going to give me a ticket for Jay walking backwards. But the one thing I'm made up of my mind, I'm never going to go back to school unless miss Pauline comes to me first. Hello, little cabbage pussy. Hello, bush quality. Hey, it's good to see you home in the night time, Luigi. How's the body? You want to be playing a little canazza? No, thanks, bus quality. I just feel like to sit here and just to sit. Sure, sure. We got the whole night in front of us, Luigi. That's right, bus quality. You don't ever miss that at night school, do you, Luigi? Oh, no. I don't blame you. School ain't no place for grown-up people. In America, school is a place where the mother sends a kid so she can shop in a piece. Uh, how's the antique business, Luigi? Sure, sure. You sure you wouldn't like to play a little canazza? Not enough, bus quality. Uh-huh. I always say, Luigi, the only education you get is not from a school, but from talking with a people. Just like you and me talking now, Luigi. Yeah, I'm a lot of bus quality. Sure. Uh, what do you think about inflation, Luigi? And I think it raises the prices. That's right. And you know why? Why? Because the dollar today is only worth a half a dollar. And you know why it's only worth a half a dollar? Why? Inflation. Uh, what's the new arithmetic, Luigi? Yeah, did Einstein have discovered any new numbers lately? Squally, what are you talking about? School to talk, Luigi. Busqually? What? How is it just a thing? School ain't the only place where I can get education. That's what I've been trying to tell you. We keep us sitting and talking to each other every night, like if this is something that's bound to rub off on us. Busqually, we could sit for a hundred years. The only thing that's going to rub off on us is the chair. But you just said to yourself, school ain't the only place of education. That's right. Busqually, think. Where did Abram Lincoln get his education? Lincoln High School? No, no. He's a teacher himself. No, no, remember, Busqually, like a cabin, books, he's a bottle from neighbors, a long knife, he's a stayed up by the candle and teaching them himself. Yeah, that's right. I saw the movie. Busqually, why can't I do what Lincoln did? Louis, I don't think a foreigner's can become a president. But Busqually, you know, I'm glad that we talked tonight because you give me a big idea. I'm going to educate myself just like Lincoln. How? Well, Chicago is a big, big city, Busqually, and they've got free lectures and museums and planetariums, and they've got free libraries and millions of books. Then you see, Busqually, if education is going to come to you, then, well, you've got to go and, and, and, and after it. I suppose so. Hey, where you going, Louis? I'm going to look in the paper now and see what they're giving a big lecture tonight. Come on, Busqually, maybe you're going to go with me. To a lecture now? No, no, no. Wait, look, here's a place here, Egypt. Egypt, it's a free lecture. Says a free? Yeah. Maybe I will go along. Never hikes to get a more brains. Therefore, as may be seen, the most ancient relics of antiquity in Egypt are the paleolithic tools of flint found on the Lower Desert Plateau at the head of the Wadis and they're debauched into the Nile Valley throughout its length. Hey, Luigi, he's all a very intelligent, but I don't understand a nothing. That's a funny, Busqually. I'm still excited to figure out if he's a talk in English. The Aquarian Coupe de Poing. Or a handbag. Hey, Luigi, what's the this a Coupe de Poing? Huh? The Coupe de Poing, what is that? I think it's softening again in the ice cream palette. These ancient tools are often deeply patinated by the wind and sun of the ages that have relapsed since they were made. The people who used them evidently lived on the desert margin of the valley where there was as yet no cultivation. Luigi, it's wonderful to be softened up with intelligence in your head like a sponge. Oh, it's all right, Busqually. You've got a really sponge head. For long, you know, all the time when no doubt this climate was different. Well, I'm going home. It was probably, however, an endless mile in the middle of the year without scared for the night. How you like that? I can't holler on him. Now I've got to wait till he wakes up. Oh, excuse me, Mr. Library. Yes, can I help you? I think it's so much. I'm a like to educate myself, just like I better have my leek in it. I don't know where to start. Maybe you know. Well, what are you interested in? Everything. Right now in history, I know everything up to the Civil War. Geography. I know up to the the terrain of foreign Africa. Civics. I'm a smart up to the city ward, the department. And the spelling I can spell up to Mississippi. If I'm not the nervous. But maybe you're going to fill out on me what's what I'm missing. Sir, we have about 50,000 books on our shelves. You decide what subject you'd like to start with and perhaps I can help you. All right. History. American? No, no, I'm going to go to my citizen and papers for three years. I'm in American history. Oh, sure. And you're interested in the period after the Civil War. That's right. I know all the presidents up to Mr. Lincoln. After that is a bigger space in my head. I see. I think I know just the history book for you. Now geography. Any particular country? How many countries you got? We have books covering every country in the world. Look, Miss Library, maybe you got just a few books that are going to teach me everything. I have an even better suggestion. What? Why don't you join a night school? Huh? No, no, no, no, thanks. Maybe you got some more ideas, huh? Well, there are some fine correspondence courses. What's that? Well, they have regular schools that send you lessons through the mail. Mommy, I'm going to do this. And what I don't understand, mailmen are going to tell me everything. Well, Luigi, how's it that a first mail lesson? Here, it's about algebra, Piscale. Huh? You can hardly speak English. What for? You want to learn a new foreign language? Well, Piscale algebra is excellent in particular, but it's got letters like X away and Z and X. What was wrong with a one, two, and a three? Explain everything in a book. Right now, I'm trying to figure out the discipline. Let me see. If it takes three men six hours to dig a hole, how long does it take a six-man to dig the same hole? That's crazy, Luigi. Sure, if the first three guys that dug the hole, what do they want the other six for? I'll let you breakfast, Gully. Sounds like a strong union to me. Please, please, keep it quiet a little bit. Let me learn it. All right, learn, learn. How much are you paying for this supposed office education, Luigi? Well, first the lesson is a three. Then if I'm alike, I'm going to pay $10 a month. $120 a year just to watch a six-loafer stand around an empty hole? Luigi, stop breaking your head. My roaster took this stuff from the high school. No, please, Piscale, no, no. All right, all right, stop hollering. I've got to call her in. She's going to explain everything to you. Rosa, Rosa, Rosa. You called me, Papa. Rosa, where's your manners? Say hello to Luigi. Hello, Luigi. Baby, Luigi just got in. It's the first shipment of brains from the post office. They'll see if you can help him with his homework. All right, move over, Luigi. Let me sit down next to you. No, it isn't our use, Rosa. I'm going to decide to forget everything about this, the correspondence of school. Forget Luigi. You mean you've given up all education and for good? That's right, Piscale. I'm going to realize I'm going to give up for something. I'm never going to get the back of no more. But, Luigi, you haven't got me yet. Come on, Rosa. Luigi's a hard-broken over as a teacher. Oh, goodbye, Luigi. Goodbye. I'm going to listen to the carousel again. Hello, Luigi. Hello, Luigi. Oh, hello. It's nice to see you again. Must be four days, huh? Come on, sit down. I'm enjoying myself listening to carousel. I've been pretty busy myself lately, Luigi, studying. Miss Pauling is giving us a test next week. Miss Pauling? Oh. What's it about? So good evening, gentlemen. Oh, awesome. Come on, come in and sit down. Awesome. Join us in. Oh, how have you been, Luigi? You look real, man. Oh, yeah, yeah. Everything is just the same, wasn't it? Luigi, I heard you started a correspondence course. Hello, fellow boobies. Hello, sir. It's good to see you, Luigi. How have you been, little renaissance? I'm fine. It's just fine. I was just telling Austin how it was about my correspondence at school. Oh, yeah? But tell me, Luigi, how did they fit the teacher into the envelope? You know, it's really a wonderful idea, Schultz, when I think of how I'm a westerner two years and a night at school, I could have kicked myself. What's the new with the school, friend? Oh, same old stuff. You learn all of it someday in your correspondence school, Luigi. Oh, that's what I did. Yeah, sure. Hello, Miss Pauling. Mr. Basko, you left some books in your desk, last week, and this is the first chance I've had to bring them back to you. Thank you, Miss Pauling. Well, good night. No, wait, wait. Miss Pauling, you're looking very, very pretty tonight, Miss Pauling. Well, thank you, Mr. Basko. Well, it's getting late. No, Miss Pauling, stay a little bit, huh? Well, I can't. I'm late for my night school class. Yeah, but that was... I'm sorry. You know, what night school class? We are here. We are? Yeah, tonight. Sure, Miss Pauling, all of us. And it's 8.30. Time to class start. You're so true. Well, this is very irregular, but I suppose I can do it. Mr. Basko? Here. Mr. Harrowett? Here. Mr. Olson? Mr. Schultz? Hail, hail, the gang's all here. Remember me? I'm back in the school. Remember me? I'm back into my night school again, and like they say, you never really appreciate if something really allows it. Mama may excuse me if my writing is a little bit shaky in this letter because I'm writing on a bus to school. You see, my class starts in two hours, and I'm not going to take a chance on a coming late. You know, I'm the son of Luigi Basko, a little immigrant. Friends, the makers of Wrigley's Fairman Shoeingham hope you enjoyed tonight's episode of Life with Luigi. And they want to remind you that Wrigley's Spearmint Gum is a refreshing, delicious treat you can enjoy any time and any place. You don't have to take time out for Wrigley's Spearmint. Just slip a stick into your mouth and chew it while you're working, driving, shopping, or enjoying your favorite winter activities. Wrigley's Spearmint Gum always tastes good. It freshens your taste, gives you a nice little lift, and makes whatever you're doing more enjoyable. The natural chewing action helps keep your teeth clean and bright too, so it helps keep your smile attractive. So for real chewing enjoyment, plus refreshment, anytime, anywhere, always keep Wrigley's Spearmint Chewing Gum handy. Remember, that's Wrigley's Spearmint Chewing Gum. Healthful, refreshing, delicious. The makers of Wrigley's Spearmint Chewing Gum invite you to be sure to listen next week at the same time when Luigi Basko writes another letter to his mama Basko in Italy. Life with Luigi is a Sy Howard production. The script is written by Mack Benhoff and Lou Derman, and directed by Mr. Benhoff. J. Carol Nash is starred as Luigi Basko with Alan Reed as Pasquale, Hans Kahn Reed as Joe, Jody Gilbert as Rosa, Mary Shipp as Miss Folding, Joel Forte as Horowitz, Ken Peters as Olson, Lee Erikson as Stevie, and Margaret Brayden as The Librarian. Music is under the direction of Lud Bluston, Charles Lyons speaking with CBS Radio Network.