 A cheater coming clean with brutal honesty, could you handle it? Some people among us hold a dark secret deep within their minds, carrying the load of their cheating yet hesitating to voice it out loud. Honesty and coming clean sound great, but how far are you able to offer understanding before it's too triggering? The following story is a royal AI original, in which Kendra shares how her life was destroyed by her cheating and how her own sister stepped in for the finishing blows. Blows from which there is no coming back. Before we start, unleash the zombie apocalypse in the like button's basement. Warning, OP is so honest and to the point, you will be triggered. I really don't know how to start. I will be completely honest since you will never know who I really am. I am about to share my deepest regret in life and how it destroyed me. The reason for this is to hopefully cleanse my soul by finding relief in sharing. I know people will turn judgmental as soon as I confess to cheating on my husband, but you know the thing is, it is not always as simple or black and white as it seems. It can be a very complex thing, way more complex than just positive traits, emotions or feelings. We all want to show ourselves as saints, but deep down all of us have committed some regrettable actions that might have been exposed by now or are still hidden depending upon our luck and the gravity of our deeds. All I want to say is, the dark side does exist within all of us, nonetheless here it is. I'm a 32 year old female, married the love of my life, Mark, a year ago. He's 35 years old. Mark and I have known each other for many years, but we dated for three years before marrying each other. We were introduced at a common friends party when I was in my final college year. We both enjoyed each other's company and kept in touch. Although Mark seemed to be seriously into me right from our first encounter, I did not pay much attention to it because I was used to getting male attention all my life. I know it sounds kind of bad, but it's the truth. Now I'll get more into the blunt truth, and it might sound worse, but keep in mind, I want to open up completely here. See, I have been academically strong with a charming personality, well, people used to say that. Hence, I was often referred to as the beauty with the brains in my family circle. Growing up, I was your overconfident extrovert kid, always willing to tell grown-ups my view on things. It entertained most of them at least. Now here's my opposite. I have a younger sister who is 29 year old Amy, who personality-wise always seemed calm, dreamy and boring even, to me at least. She wasn't excelling in school and played this flute-like instrument. I remember having to endure her practicing Tuesday evenings and the occasional weekends during high school. No, before you paint me as the Hollywood cheerleader who likes to bully her younger sister, it wasn't like that. I was athletic though as I liked to run, but didn't run competitively. I'm not being intently mean here, just painting the truthful picture for you. In a sharp contrast situation like this, my family and older relatives seemed to naturally gravitate their positive remarks towards me while growing up. The focus, attention and therefore the favoritism was mostly set on me. So I have always been the star of my family during our childhood. Not to lie, I have enjoyed that status. Maybe this was the reason Amy and I never got along with each other. We never shared that sisterly bond that siblings usually have. I don't know who is to be blamed. It doesn't matter, this is how it is. However, as we grew up, I noticed the limelight on me faded slightly when Amy grew to be more present in family affairs. Apparently she went to all baseball games of our nephew, joining our youngest niece to swimming practice or helping grandparents for groceries and visit weekends to help in the garden. I didn't mind as she obviously had her own connections with our family members, but we never shared any moments like this. So the first time I heard our family joking during a diner about how she blesses everyone with her random and effortless kindness, it was cringing to my core. After a while I started noticing it more. No one was fascinated by my accomplishments or complimenting and affirming me being pretty when they saw me as how they always used to. Might sound strange to some of you, but you have to understand I adored these things from my family. It was really important to me. Nobody even used the nickname grandpa gave me. It's not the actual nickname, but it's similar to pretty brainiac. So I started hating her. I became more jealous when relatives gradually started drifting more to Amy's camp. I tried my best to maintain my aura. Everything I did, every decision I took, I wanted to make sure that it would help me shine brighter than Amy. I took up a law degree and established myself as a paralegal, future lawyer, while Amy joined a kindergarten after her graduation because she loved children. Also, I moved out of our house and stayed at a dormitory to pursue law, while Amy chose to stay with our parents. Of course, I won the brownie point in terms of choosing our career, but eventually she got closer to my parents because she was living and taking care of them. That's about it, the equation between me and my sister. I prioritized my independence because it gave me the freedom to do anything I wanted to. I wanted to live a free life and living by myself showed me as a strong, independent earning woman amongst my family and relatives. Able to bring in the big bucks and while being respected for being a corporate professional. I got a lot of male attention during college, coming back to Mark's story. When Mark showed interest in me during our first time meeting, I didn't take it seriously. Besides, I was just about to graduate with my life ahead of me. We kept in touch and spoke sometimes, but we both kept seeing different people during that period. On my 28th birthday, my friends organized a birthday party for me. And coincidentally, Mark was invited by our common friends. He cheekily asked me if I was single, and in response, I asked him if he too was single. It turned out that we both were at that time. That became a turning point in our relationship, because we both had explored enough people by then. I was particularly ready for a committed relationship. We decided to give each other a chance, and we started dating. Mark was the man I truly fell in love with. He was charming, handsome, caring, and everything a woman desires in her man. By the time we started dating, he had quit his job and was working on establishing his business. Also, I remember how determined he was with his plans and could see it in his eyes while he would tell about it. I really loved that. He used to be really busy at his work, but he was able to make up for his absence by his over the top romantic gestures. I guess that was also one of the reasons our relationship thrived, because he gave me a lot of space too, which other men didn't. After dating for three years, we married at a dreamy countryside wedding. It was a beautiful sunny day, and I can never forget the moment I saw Mark standing in his wedding suit. I fell in love with him all over again. Both sides of our families and friends were present, cheering for us. I remember Amy sitting there happily, cheering for me. During the diner, there was this one moment that stayed with me till this day. It would seem to be something trivial, but in the context of my life, it isn't. When someone asked her jokingly about her love life and if she had a secret relationship, she answered with a sad face that she had yet to find anyone special. As far as I know and remember, she never had a boyfriend or anyone who loved her romantically. I saw how she said it, and when she sighed in relief, she looked over at me. I didn't feel sad for her. I felt happy that I was luckier than her in terms of love. After our marriage, I quit my full-time job and worked as a part-time paralegal for a law firm. Even though it was a part-time job, the pay was decent because of my experience and, well, education. Also, I kept learning on the side to become a lawyer and was aiming to pass the bar. I made enough money, got time to travel and enjoy my freedom. While Mark got busier setting up the business, he wanted to have a baby, hence he was working hard to stabilize his business. I never wanted a baby, but I never confronted Mark about this because it would have led to a serious disagreement between us. He's a guy that's non-negotiable on some areas of life, including wanting to be a father. Also, I knew that it would take a few years for Mark to establish himself in his field and make a name. Until then, I had enough time to think about it. And I have to admit, I privately decided already to have this discussion when Mark was financially ready. Mark was either busy with his work or tired from his work. So ultimately, I had to rely on my girlfriends for hangouts and trips. I was used to his work ethic before marriage, but I started doing a lot of girls' trips after three months into our marriage. Mark never objected to it because he was too busy and broke to give me his time and money, so yeah. In one of the trips, I bumped into my old friend, Eric. Eric was 33 years old. We used to run on the track during our college days. He was handsome, with an athletic physique, which used to get him a lot of women's attention. Back in my college days, we had nothing more than friendship because he was admired and chased by a lot of girls, and I was never a chaser. When we next met on the trip, he had grown a lot more mature. With that, he looked more charming and handsome. I won't go deep into this part. I could not resist, so I found myself on his bed. I took it as a one-time thing. But that night was so thrilling that I just couldn't hold back. We ended up spending most of the time on the trip together. I kind of ditched my girlfriend midway. After the trip, I thought he would move on and so would I. But a few days after the trip, I got his message that he was missing me. He knew that I was married and I knew that he wasn't serious. Therefore, it was a perfect deal for us. I soon started meeting him at his apartment three to four times a week. We took it as a temporary pleasure, an adventure that might get boring after a while, so accepted we would go on until the excitement of it all would perish. But after some time, it didn't go as planned. Eventually, I realized that his life rules matched mine to a large extent. We got emotionally attached too. I took a trip to a friend, but in reality, I went with Eric. After this, I went to his place more frequently, almost feeling like I lived with Mark and with Eric at the same time. I kind of lived a double life. Mark was often busy with his business. He would leave home early and would come late. I had enough time in the day after my part-time job. Eric worked as a physical trainer, so he too had a lot of time free for me. We got so much indulged in each other that we forgot that a world outside our two bodies existed. It was such a passionate relationship in bliss. We just couldn't take our hands off each other. It went quite smoothly for six months until my sister Amy discovered it. It was my first anniversary. I came home from work to find Mark had planned a beautiful surprise at home. He took a day off from work and decorated the house with my favorite flowers, baked my favorite cake, and bought some really expensive gifts, which I had been eyeing for a long time. I felt just so special. We spent some quality time with each other. But suddenly, Mark got a call from his investor that something urgent needed to be addressed and he had to rush to work. He assured me that he would be back in the next few hours, but I was upset. I was sad that he left me alone even on our anniversary. What I did next was something I never did before, but it felt so natural to do so. I called Eric at my house. That was the first time I called him to my house. I was feeling down and Eric was best at lifting my mood. When we were in the middle of it, all of a sudden Amy walked in with a cake to surprise us. I was shocked to see her because the door was locked and she shouldn't have the key. She was frozen to see me with Eric. Eric hurriedly dressed up and left the house without saying anything to me or to Amy. Amy walked over to the living room and just sat there, I guess waiting for an explanation. After Eric left, I walked past where she sat and went outside. Amy joined me outside and was clearly mad at me because she and the rest of my family loved Mark. I could sense she felt betrayed too. What I did next is why I'm here. I need to come clean, but I can only do so anonymously. I had no other choice than to play the victim. I sobbed on Amy's shoulder and said I felt lonely even after getting married because Mark was always busy. I added that I was feeling terrible when Mark left me alone in the house on our anniversary. So I hired someone to lighten up my mood. I assured her that it was just one time and there were no emotions attached because the guy was giving paid service. While I confessed this to her, I could see she bought all my lies and became empathetic towards me. She hugged me and told me. Mark felt guilty about leaving me alone again, so he asked Amy to give me company until he returned. Amy pit-stopped at Mark's office to get the spare key to the house so that she could surprise me. She told me that she understood that it was difficult to tackle loneliness because she had been in the same situation as she had no boyfriend yet. She lectured me on morals and family values. I told her that it happened just once and I was already feeling guilty about it. She then asked me to confess to Mark about it. I told her I would confess at the right time and place and asked her not to spill anything to anyone. She promised that she would keep it a secret. I knew she would. I have known her since childhood. We just kept talking for almost three hours. Mark arrived home after this and we spent the rest of the day normally. Although Amy wasn't comfortable, she didn't say anything. She left soon after Mark arrived, saying she wanted to give us privacy. But I knew she was just choking up from inside with the burden of my secret. I don't know what triggered her, but she went to social media and dug through my friend list to find the history of my affair partner. She found that Eric was not what I said he was and that he was my old friend. How do I know this? She called me up the next day and confronted me about her digging. I got so frustrated at her nosiness that I yelled at her and warned her to stay out of my lane. She stayed calm under my pressure, but subtly threatened me to confess my cheating to Mark or else she would do so. I openly threatened her that I would destroy her life if she would tell him. I reminded her that our parents would always side with me and she knew it wouldn't be difficult for me to turn the tables around her. I have done this many times in the past where she was punished for the crimes I did. She knew me very well. She knew I was manipulative and deceitful. I use my beauty and brain just at the right place and with the right people. I told her she couldn't hold anything above me and I could destroy her without losing sleep over it and then I pushed it further to make sure she would hush it. I blackmailed her that exposing my cheating would hurt Mark, our parents and grandparents so it was better that she forgot about it. I told her if my cheating was discovered she would be responsible for the ruin I would bring to everyone's life. I ended the threat with ensuring I was willing to go the extra mile. She didn't respond and hung up the call. It's been a couple of months since then. Amy occasionally messages me lecturing me on how to be a loyal partner, sending me articles on dealing with adultery within a marriage and that I should confess to Mark about my cheating but I always respond with a fire emoji. She knows what I mean by that. Sometimes I emotionally trick her by repeating. It's something only she has control over. So if she wouldn't drop it she would be the one hurting everyone. The last time she visited me she told me she felt choked to see that I was cheating on Mark and that poor soul had no idea about it. I got so mad at her. I don't know why the hell she was being nosy in my life. I got so agitated she didn't get the message and dared to bring it up in my face that I went a step further. I told her in her face that I was still having a very passionate affair with Eric and she could do whatever she wanted but no one would believe her. She knows that her pleadings are falling on deaf ears but Amy being the kind Amy continues to irritate me. I hate her interventions in my life. I hate her to the core. I don't want her advice. She who has never found love in her life is the least qualified person to lecture me on love and relationships. I wanna be free from her interference. I'm in a very critical situation. This morning while I was at work I got a call from Amy where I could hear Amy and Mark talking to each other. Amy told me the call was on speaker and Mark was with her. I rushed to the deserted elevator because I knew what was going to happen. Amy said she had told Mark everything about my affair. I started yelling at the call saying it was all a lie. She went on to apologize to Mark for keeping my secret for two months and cried profusely. She even apologized to me that she could no longer carry the burden of my secret. I asked them to come home or tell me their location so that I could meet them and give my explanation but I could sense that they were not listening to me. It seemed that Mark was consoling Amy. My yelling and my cries were falling on deaf ears. I could only hear them sobbing and a few minutes later a footstep approached near the phone and the call got disconnected. My heart sank. I tried calling them back several times but none of them received it. After a while, both of their cell phones were unavailable. I rushed to Mark's office to find that he didn't go to the office today. I called up my mom to check about Amy and got to know that she was also not home. Mom said that Amy had informed them that she would come home late. Yeah, she is an ideal daughter who keeps our parents updated about her routine. So I'm expecting Mark to be home by the late night. As time passes, I'm getting restless. Hence, I'm updating it here to calm down my nerves. I don't know what information Amy gave to Mark and how he is going to take it. It's going to be about two years since that D-Day. As I read back my last update, I remember how terrible my situation was on that day. Searching for Mark and Amy everywhere in town and I couldn't find either of them. To keep myself distracted, I cooked for Mark. While cooking, I thought of hundreds of ways to convince Mark of my truth. I remember when Mark arrived at 10 p.m., I rushed to him and hugged him crying profusely. I told him that whatever Amy had said was all a lie and I could explain everything. He stood there frozen with a straight face. Then he showed me the screenshots of all the conversations I had with Amy, how she had pleaded with me to confess to Mark about the cheating and how I had blackmailed her to keep my secret. I didn't blackmail her directly, but I did threaten her. She was being kind when saying it was blackmail. But then it came, what I never expected. I was at a loss for words when Mark showed me the photographs of Eric and me in an intimate and compromising state. Seeing the angle of the photographs, I realized that when Amy entered my house on our anniversary, she saw me and Eric through our bedroom window, which opened in the hallway. She actually took pictures before entering the room. So her walking in shocked was her pretending to be. She could have just left the house and come back later, but no, she wanted her dramatic moment. Anyway, with that evidence, I hardly had anything left to defend myself. I kept saying that it was only physical with no emotions attached. And I did it because I was lonely with Mark's repeating absence. I pleaded and begged Mark for forgiveness. That was the first time I had pleaded with anyone and it crushed my ego into pieces. I knew I didn't deserve that treatment, but I pleaded with him because I loved him. Mark kept silent until he finally said something. He said he would believe me. If I let him see the chat conversation between me and Eric, checkmate, another punch in the gut. I was caught red-handed because it was not just physical. I was also deep emotionally attached to Eric. We confessed our love and lust for each other every single day. I knew Mark would faint to see those messages, so I gave up my defense. When he insisted, I gave him the phone. He scrolled through a few conversations and got to know the true gravity of my cheating. If he was any other guy, he would have turned aggressive or physical even, but Mark was a gentleman. He sat down at the dinner table, numb. I tried to serve him food, but he refused to eat. I promised him that I would do everything to fix our marriage. He didn't speak for a full hour. He just kept staring at his phone, scrolling through the screenshots of the chats I had with Amy, like he was stuck in a loop. All the while, I tried my best to convince him that we could have a fresh start. Out of the blue, he spoke. He said that he had made his decision and he was filing for divorce. I pleaded with him, but eventually, I knew that Mark was extremely thoughtful in his words and actions. If he had taken a decision, he would have thought about it thousands of times, about the pros and cons, and once he had made up his mind, no matter what I did, he wouldn't budge. He told me to stay in the house while he would move out. I just stood there, seeing him packing his belongings and leaving the house. I did try my best to stop him. I couldn't believe he was leaving. I told him that we could have our baby and it would be the best thing of our life. I showed him the dreamy life we could have together with our children, but he didn't listen. I held his arms and his legs to stop him, but he didn't stop. After Mark left that night, the door shut in a way I never thought it could. It felt like I was pushed in a hole of abandonment. I can't explain it any other way. The silence of the house haunted me. I realized that my life was irreparably damaged. For the first time, I felt how beautiful my marriage was and how I ruined it by taking it for granted. I cursed myself for trading my stable life and great marriage for some cheap thrills. The next few weeks were no less than a nightmare for me and I ended up looking like a zombie. I stopped going out or meeting anyone. Eric called me multiple times, but I blocked him without any explanation. Eventually my parents discovered my divorce and the reason behind it. No, Mark didn't tell them. I had to inform my parents about my divorce. I was forced to because I needed a support system. I knew I couldn't go through it alone and whatever it is, my parents would always have my back. When they got to know that I cheated on Mark, they were mad at me because they loved Mark. He didn't only enjoy a very good reputation within my family, he was loved so much by everyone. They felt ashamed that their oldest daughter could do something so shameful. But eventually I used my tears to convince them that it was a one time innocent mistake in the hours of loneliness and they eventually forgave me. Even my mother stayed over at my place for some weeks to support me because she was scared of how terrible I looked and they couldn't let me live in misery. Surprisingly, they were not aware that Amy knew about it and I had blackmailed or threatened her to keep it a secret. I also never told them about this part. Meanwhile, Mark filed for divorce and voluntarily gave me half of his belongings in the house. That was more than what I deserved. He rented a cheap apartment and as expected, worked extensively on his business. Of course, I didn't expect him to do anything else. I knew he was using his work to cope with our separation. I was doing the same. It took some time, but I regained some of my old self. I started working as a full time lawyer and kept myself busy at work, but I was not yet able to move on. I prayed every day that I would somehow bump into Mark and he would take me back. I thought of him every day and what I did to him to us. I couldn't let him go. It was awful and it gave me even more stress than my job. I was hopeful that he still loved me and would have forgiven me by now. I wanted to call him but never had the courage to do so. Now for the reason I came back to writing down my story. Last week, I visited my parents' house but they were out to attend a wedding. Amy was at home alone. I felt awkward and wanted to leave but Amy insisted I stay for some time. I avoided Amy for the last two years and that was our first one-on-one confrontation after she exposed my affair. She asked me if I wanted anything to drink but I didn't want anything. Hoping we would keep it to chit chat and I could leave but I knew I couldn't after she insisted the way she did. She came walking in the living room holding two drinks and gave me one. Everything she does for me in kindness stings even more than before. It doesn't matter how small the gesture. I looked her in the eye and asked directly why she didn't tell our parents about me blackmailing her. When I asked her, I could feel the surrounding tension light up as that question was pestering me for a long time. To my surprise, she walked towards me and hugged me. I guess she was also heavy-hearted. She apologized to me for exposing the truth to Mark. She said she loved me and would never hurt me. Hence, she never told our parents about my threats. The way she answered showed me she was surprised, I asked as she thought I would know she wouldn't. She confessed that when she confronted Mark about my affair, he didn't believe her. So she had to show him all the threatening chats and photographs to prove her point. She kept saying that she loved me and would never hurt me. Her tears made me remorseful that I hated her. She doesn't know, yet all the while she kept protecting my reputation in front of our parents. When I realized this, I saw my sister standing in front of me still thinking about me. I saw her now and how we have always been as sisters. I felt how horrible I have always been to her, how easy it was for me to extinguish her flame while growing up. My legs weakened. As I apologized to her, I began crying my heart out. I kept repeating how sorry I was as I felt myself apologizing for everything. She didn't know what went through my mind. She said that I didn't need to ask for forgiveness from her. Instead, I should apologize to Mark because I hurt him so badly. I knew I hurt him. I knew I ruined my marriage. In my fantasy, we could be together again but to talk to him for real? What could I say to make it right? It is just four months since my last update where I was singing praises about my dear sister, Amy. Soon after that post, I got to know something dark. It shook me to the core and threw me into the pit of depression where I was during my divorce. Mark and Amy had been dating each other. I was always doubtful of her intentions of sharing the photos with Mark, the ones of me and Eric being intimate If she was so pure and genuine, she would have never took those of me with Eric. She had to stop, take the situation in and then decide to take pictures for her own personal gain. She was definitely pretentious. Why do I think this? Because of the way she acted surprised on entering the room, though she had already seen us through the window and even took the time to take her phone out to add snaps for her collection. I've always known she was a cunning bitch. After my confrontation with Amy four months back, I started visiting my parents more often because I thought everyone had moved on with Mark's chapter. I was damn wrong. Everyone was indeed in touch with Mark all this time. The truth is, no one brought up his name in front of me. Gradually, I got to know that Mark was doing great at his work and that his business was flourishing. He often visited my parents, but they never told me. He had always been nice and kind to my parents. I was such a fool to take this information positively that I still had a chance. I thought maybe Mark intended a reconciliation with me. I was too embarrassed and ashamed to ask my parents upfront about his next visit. So I deliberately visited my parents every now and then so that I could bump into Mark someday. After a few weeks of trying, I finally found Mark having dinner with my parents. I used the opportunity to talk to him. He was kind and cordial to me, asking me about how I was doing and my work. I realized he was acting different. He was refraining from having any real eye contact with me or to keep the conversation with me going. I failed to understand the reason why he was so uncomfortable talking to me. After dinner, when he went to wash his hands, I seized the opportunity to follow him. This was my chance to be alone with him and to rekindle our relationship. I tried to touch his arms, but he backed off from my touch. I tried to hug him, but he put up his arms to extend space between us. He then told me in my face that reconciliation will never be on the table and he had moved on. He almost blurted out that he was already dating someone. I was devastated because I was single and unable to move on from him, but he had moved on so easily and was already dating someone. Really? Eventually, I got to know that someone was none other than my dear sister, Amy. Even worse, and my family knew about it. After that dinner, I kept bugging my mom to help me reconcile with Mark, but she asked me to move on and find a suitable man for myself. When I got adamant, she told me that Amy and Mark were seeing each other. They got closer just six months after our divorce. Those words made me feel sick, utterly sick too from my stomach to throat. I was shattered. The last thing I wanted to witness in my life was to see Amy beside Mark. I broke down. My mother consoled me, but she mostly sided with Mark because of how nice he had is and always has been. Soon after I got to know, Amy and Mark made their relationship official two months ago on Amy's birthday. How nice, with everyone there including me. They also announced that they are buying a new house, a big family home for their family and future children. I noticed how people looked at me during her announcement the whole time after, knowing I am up to date now, watching how the deserving monkey will dance behind the glass. I pretended it was okay. I'm strong and I don't need no one. I tried to cheer for them, but deep down, I was devastated. The pleasure that filled the room simultaneously ripped my soul in pieces. My throat locked up and I couldn't swallow, even if I tried. I excused myself and went to my parents' room to unleash my tears. Amy noticed my absence and she followed me inside the room. She said she was sorry it hurt me and tried to hug me. I pushed her away telling her to get rid of her kind mask in front of me. I told her she was dating Mark only to avenge me for everything I did to her as a child. She didn't say anything but kept staring at me with cold eyes. I kept accusing her of stealing my husband and manipulating the family against me. I told her that if her intentions were so genuine, then why did she photograph me in the act with Eric and why did she act shocked on entering the room when she had already seen us? For the first time, I saw true coldness in her eyes. She said she loved Mark and their relationship was based on pure loyalty and not on any revenge on me. She said that neither she nor Mark was vindictive and malicious like me. She added that she loved me and never wanted to hurt me. They tried to curb their feelings but their relationship thrived naturally and they couldn't do anything about it. I shoot her out of the room because I couldn't bear listening to their lies of love without completely falling apart. I closed the door when she was out but felt she reopened the door. As the door slightly opened, I heard her. She reminded me that I had dug my own grave and now I had no choice but to lie down in it. I couldn't respond to that. How could I? It was true. I'm the one who had ruined my marriage. For some temporary adventure, I ruined my life. After nursing my sorrows, I came out. I saw everyone happily enjoying Mark and Amy's success as a couple. My father danced with Amy while Mark and my mother cheered for them. The happiness and praise which I used to enjoy all my life have gone to Amy. From there on, Amy left no opportunity to talk about their new house and how Mark has designed everything on his own for his would-be wife, Amy and children. Nowadays, I find Mark and Amy attending every small and big family event hand-in-hand like lovebirds. Mark swooping her hair to the side while talking to her. In our three years of dating and one year of marriage, Mark never had time to attend any family functions with me. They never take their hands off each other. Everyone in the family admires their new profound love and glow. Can you imagine this? And all I get is a smirk and raised eyebrows while people call me a cheater under their breath. Nobody says it, but by pretending this is okay, they accept it all because they feel I deserve this. I tried confronting my parents that Amy and Mark were putting up this show just to get back at me. Instead of supporting me, my parents asked me to seek therapy on the spot. They understand that it is tough for me to see them happy together. Of course, it is heartbreaking for me to see worthless Amy beside the love of my life. He doesn't deserve so less. I can be so much more for him. They both are glowing in love while I look gloomy. I want to avoid seeing them, but I have to confess that I still have a glimmer of hope inside of my heart, which pushes me to try one last time to win back Mark. It kills me from inside to see them happy. Every time I see Amy, I curse her in my mind, hoping that something happens out of my control. It's awful, but I'm spewing the full truth here, nothing else. I know you will judge me, but try to see it from my perspective. I'm the victim here, not Mark. He is getting all the love and respect while I'm labeled a cheater. He was the one who was busy building his business while I suffered in loneliness. I also paid a big price on his sacrifices. Now that his company is flourishing, they both are rubbing their success on my face. I have to fake a smile every time someone mentions something good happening to them. I don't wish any good for them because they obviously prefer seeing me destroyed while chasing their selfish love life. I feel like both are ganging up to hurt me, but no one is able or willing to see through it. No one would ever be really happy in their situation. People can fool others, but not themselves. Whatever your crime is, you just cannot be that saint to see your sister glowing beside your ex-husband, who is a gem of a person. I know it's been two years since my last update. Most people would have forgotten and moved on, but see, I'm still stuck in this situation, unable to even crawl, even by an inch. Instead, I'm just pulled down by my past every time I try to move forward. If Amy and Mark rubbing their love and success in my face were not enough, I woke up to a flood of notifications and congratulatory messages on my family chat groups one day. Mark had proposed to Amy at an exotic foreign location by the beach side, and everyone was swooning over their mesmerizing pictures of their special moment. Mark had hired a professional photographer to capture the moment, and it came out to be surreal, straight from a movie. While the entire family and relatives were sending them good wishes, I just couldn't bear to see them blissfully happy. This was the final drop for me. I told them in the chat group to go live their fucking lives together and left the group. This infuriated my father, who later berated me for my immature behavior. He threatened to cut me off from his life. He was already ashamed that I became the gossip subject of the family that brought shame to my parents, and my behavior in the group just added to his anger. The thing is, everyone is just so bothered with their love, with their success, with their happiness, but no one is ever thinking about my happiness, my mental peace, or how I'm dealing with this mental trauma. The cheaters are also the victims sometimes, and the most lonely ones, because no one understands their perspective. Their wedding became the talk of our social circle, because Mark and Amy were meticulously planning it bit by bit. A foreign wedding by the beach side, best wedding planners, best photographs, pre-wedding shoots and whatnot, people were going gaga over their wedding. I'm glad I exited the group chat, because the detailed chats would have suffocated me. I got to know all these details through their invitation email, where the names of these renowned wedding planners and photographers were displayed in exaggeration. I made up my mind that I won't attend it, because I just couldn't. But my mother insisted I attend the wedding, because my absence would raise people's eyebrows, and my maturity would be questioned. She said she would never forgive me and cut me off if I didn't attend the wedding. My dad had already acted like he disowned me partially after I bit Mark and Amy in the group chat. I say pretend as he didn't talk to me, or even look at me after that incident, but I think it's a phase and he needs time. My mother was my only rescue. I couldn't afford to lose her. So two weeks before the wedding, I decided to attend the wedding. I don't feel the need of going through my part in the wedding as it was minimal, and even with that, it was rough enough. So I'll skip it. A memorable moment. I left the wedding midway after locking myself in a washroom because I couldn't see my man kissing the ugly bride. After the wedding, I tried to keep minimal contact with any of my family members except my mother, who used to regularly call and visit me to check up on me. She avoided any conversation involving Amy or Mark. Life went on and within a year of their marriage, I got to know Amy gave birth to a baby boy. My heart ached with the news. That baby of Mark was supposed to be mine and not Amy's. I was supposed to give birth to Mark's baby. Although my mother kept Amy's pregnancy a secret from me, the news of her son reached me somehow. With this news, my depression relapsed, which was not recovered fully. You must hate me being so blunt and honest, but try to imagine my misery. Just try for a moment, at least give me that. The success stories were thrown at my face, one after another, and I could do nothing about it, but take it. From being on the wall of fame of my family, I became the wall of shame. My father despised me and my mother somehow stood by me so I would start to take care of myself again. Everyone looked down upon me. I wasn't able to move on from Mark even after years after our divorce. I was doing terrible at my work. My boss was just bearing with me because of my past records, but he gave the final warning that I needed to focus on the cases and deliver more quality because my negligence was making my clients suffer. It was in my best interest to take a step back, but I didn't have to make that decision. Shortly after that final warning, I was removed from being a lawyer and demoted to a paralegal position. My therapy was not working. My therapist was about to give up on sessions as we reached a point where she couldn't help me. Who's the victim here? My therapist said that the only option left was that I had to reconcile with Mark and Amy for closure and peace. I denied it upfront that I could not beg them for forgiveness, not after what she had done to me. She has taken my everything. But my therapist laid two choices in front of me, life-long suffering or reconciliation. After sleeping over the choices for many weeks, I couldn't help but go to Mark's house. I really don't know what I was thinking today or how I mustered the courage. I just found myself standing at his door today. They happily received me, which felt dishonest. How could they? Amy was sitting there with the baby on her lap while Mark was preparing a milk bottle for the baby. I felt conflicted looking at the child's face because he resembled Mark and Amy. Seeing Mark and Amy sitting together and feeding their baby, I broke down. Writing this down makes me sound like a wreck. I told them I needed to reconcile with them in order to move on with my life. My voice trembled when I told them I wanted Mark to forgive me for the cheating and Amy for all the things I did to her. I went on to describe how terrible my life has become after what I did. I opened my heart and apologized to them for everything. I almost choked myself while crying and confronting my mistakes. Amy handed over the baby to Mark and rushed to hug me. Mark said that they both have forgiven me a long time ago and they never wished me any ill. I asked Mark to join me for the couple's therapy because I needed to openly speak about my cheating in front of Mark and my therapist in order to move on from my past. The whole atmosphere changed. They were both shocked to hear my demand. I saw Amy staring intensely at Mark, waiting for him to respond. She had already captivated Mark's mind and how could he help me? He said he had forgiven me but could not help me any further. He said that he wished all good for me but at that point in time, his family was his priority. His family was now Amy and the baby. I used to be his life. Now I'm no one to him. I pleaded by bringing up I needed help to get through this depression and he was the only one that could. He looked at me but I saw this stare in his eyes that he didn't care seeing me hurting in front of him. His stare looked empty, cold. He then said he couldn't do anything but forgive me. He said he had already given up his house and half of his assets without any fuss and lived in misery for two years to rebuild his life. I continued crying and pleading with him for help but he looked annoyed. He said he had to leave for work. He stood up and immediately asked me to leave as well. He said it was nap time for the baby so I had to excuse them. I continued asking him for help which he dodged saying we could speak about it later as he was getting late for his work and Amy was busy putting the baby to sleep. I had never let myself stoop so low in front of anyone as I was doing in front of Mark repeatedly. I was literally on my knees begging him to help me come out of the depression but it all fell on deaf ears. I guess they had fully taken their revenge on me and they must be satisfied celebrating their victory. Feeling humiliated and mentally tortured I left their house. I almost lost my mind while driving back to my house. I wanted some vehicle to come and crash my car. My life and head were pure mayhem. I have been howling and crying for the whole day after returning from their house. I had to write this because it was choking me from the inside. I know some of you would label me as a fraudster who is just making up this story. Some of you would label me as psycho. Some of you would call me a cheater and say that I deserve everything. Maybe I'm everything you all label me to be. Sometimes reality is much more complex and gruesome than fiction. I may be a fraudster, I may be a cheating psycho but I'm also a victim. Yes, I cheated on Mark and I'm not proud of it. It was my grave mistake but who doesn't make any mistakes in life? Some of you are lucky to get away with your mistakes and some of us like me end up paying a grave price even with our lives. I do regret blackmailing and threatening Amy. I know I was wrong. I was evil for what I did to her but now her joy, her happiness cut through my soul. I never hated her more than I do now. Even though I am more mature, I'm also more broken and more jealous of her. I'm the silent black sheep of my family. The twinkle went to my sister. She stole all that was good in my life. I lost everything. I lost the love and respect of my family and Mark who was my pride. I will never have babies with the man I loved so much. Amy took everything from me and I can't even scream out loud to release pressure because I'm the bad one. I'm the cheater in everyone's eyes. I'm stuck in a glass bottle on the open sea, floating hopelessly. Please don't take my honesty lightly. Let me know how I can get out of this. That brings us to the end of Kendra's story. As mentioned at the beginning, coming clean sounds good in the hope for a relief, but how far were you able to offer understanding to Kendra? Is she right in her self-reflection? Is she truly the victim in the end? I must admit, her lack of accountability makes it hard. Yet in the end, Mark and Amy didn't only start a fling, they didn't start dating. They actually married and started a family while having a baby. I can imagine there's no true coming back for Kendra and this will drive her headspace in constant turmoil for the rest of her life, until she gets over it. But something tells me that is something that won't happen anytime soon. Let me know what you think down below. Caution, this story is originally shared with Royal AI, which means there is no other channel with permission to use it unless directly mentioned down below in the description. Thank you for staying till the end. You're the one I make these episodes for. See you in the next one. Don't forget to unleash the zombie apocalypse in the like button's basement.