 We don't really need this. It just looks nice. So you can see exactly what we've been doing for the last week It takes about 10 minutes. So if you sit quietly, that's all we're doing now Now that that is it, right? So welcome to electromagnetic field 2016. This is Steve. I think you deserve more than that, but that's fine Right, so I'm John T. I am one of the organizers of electromagnetic field, but I am a small part of this I'm a very small part. This is a huge team that have worked for over a year to build everything that's here There are everything from the people who got you in at the gate Everyone who sat here at the side of the stage frantically plugging adapters together because it just broke We've all worked really hard to make this happen and every single one of us is unpaid every single one of us is doing This is because we want to do it. So during this event Please remember that when something has gone wrong or maybe you're not very happy because the toilets aren't as clean as they Should be that person you're talking to as a volunteer and they are doing it because they want to do it Because they want to make this event. Please be nice to them. Please say, thank you and maybe buy them a beer Occasionally if they drink just be as nice as possible and to each other not just to the staff, but especially to the staff And me especially to me so This weekend we have over 130 talks and workshops happening across our main stages So that's three main stages. We have a b and c scattered all across the field We also have two workshop tents, which are not as big as they need to be because there's too many of you And we also have lots of villages taking part in the villages themselves are putting on content If you look at the schedule, you'll see that while we have five main stages ourselves There are another 20 that are the villagers that are hosting things and they're just the ones that have bothered to tell us so far So during this weekend that schedule is going to get pretty busy and you're going to have to go digging in it quite a lot It's not printed for obvious reasons because it would be out of date immediately In fact the printed booklet that you've been given on the way in already has four things wrong in it And I'm counting how many more are gonna go during the event So if anyone can spot them, I will buy you a drink so If you're a village and you would like to have your stuff listed in the schedule, please come and see us in the HQ It's just over there or email us. That's fine, too And we'll get your stuff in there as quickly as possible. So some important things that we need to know Who has come the furthest to emf we do this every time and I will personally buy drinks for the people who've come the furthest So starting because we have to who's come from Australia. There's got to be someone Is there no one from Australia? Who thinks they might have come the furthest? Where have you come from? Canada can anyone beat Canada? Is that really the best we can do? I mean, I know there's only 500 people in here, but I Everyone who thinks they've come the furthest meet me in the bar directly after this and I will buy you a drink I'll make you fight for it. So you know, it's Okay, and secondly who's been to emf before? Wow, that's that's quite a lot more than I expected who came to the first one and the second one and Who came to the one-day one? I Like you the best. You're my favorites Okay, right. We've got some site notices that are quite important. So please do pay attention to these the most important one the site don't like us very much at the moment and Well, I know there is a poker stop at Los Leamanna Please don't go there. We've already had complaints about this. So I Really not joking. Please don't go and catch Pokemon at the Los Leamanna Number two Please be nice to your neighbors on the site. So we're all here to have fun and while it's great You're having a rave at three in the morning. Your neighbors don't think so the site doesn't think so the site Especially does not think so and if you are making any really loud noise after 12 We will come over and we will have to ask you to stop if you don't stop We will cut power to your area. Please don't make us do that because everyone will know it was you and they will not like you There is genuinely we have a tenuous relationship with the site this year Please try and be respectful to everyone around you including the site And my laptop's turned off. That's great Please keep any fires off the ground. So if you have a fire pit, that's totally fine We actually have some fire pits scattered around. We'll be moving them to better places soon Don't burn the ground at all. They again the site doesn't like us for that And we promised a site shop We had a site shop last time run by lovely volunteers who weren't able to make it this year And we had a vendor let us down yesterday. So we don't have a site shop. I'm very sorry about that There was nothing we could do at this point. However, there are shops nearby There are people doing runs in vans every day Hopefully you can get in on that and we have lovely food vendors who you should all give all your money to and hopefully they'll come back if you do that and Because not everyone knows we have composting toilets this year Not everyone has used a composting toilet before so when you go to the loo Take a cup of soil with you and then pour it on top of whatever you did It's pretty simple, but it means they don't smell and we're not wasting water and they're much better for everyone They're the same toilets that the Glastonbury use and I Convouch for them. They're great And if you don't know if you're not sure about what's going on or I haven't answered your question in this very brief thing The info tent is just behind you just there. Please go and talk to them. They'll be able to answer any questions. You can ask Not maybe not every question you can ask but most of them Please don't wind up the info tent staff again. They're volunteers And from 6 30 p.m. Is Jake here somewhere I think the t-shirts at 6 30 tonight. Is that right? Yeah, we have lovely t-shirts. Look at the lovely t-shirts. I I can't hear you Yes, so if you pre-ordered one you can collect it from the info tent today talk to Jake He looks lovely and there are some for sale though. Not that many so get there early Following on from that in terms of getting there early Workshops this year are not pre-book except for the blacksmiths They want to do that. That's fine. We found that if we run pre-booking on workshops They book out immediately several days ago and everyone gets very disappointed on site so to make it fairer We're doing first come first serve at workshops So if you want to go to the workshop get there early and queue up there are chairs available if you're not available Can't not capable of standing for that long And we'll hand out sunscreen or something. It'll be fine. I know this might be awkward for some people But we think it's the fairest way workshops are Exceptually congested this year. There are too many people and workshops are too small so You will probably miss some of the workshops that you want to do please get there early and hopefully you'll get in There are also workshops running in the hack center, which is down that way and they're completely impromptu They'll be happening all the time. I can see people in the audience will be doing those just drop in Hopefully you can catch one of those we'll have a schedule up for the hack center Hopefully later today when Dominic gives it to me. I'm calling him out. So hopefully he does it It was apparently in my email, which I have not looked at for good reasons Okay, if you would like to get involved in helping out which all of you want to do I can tell Please go to the volunteer tent which is behind the info tent just over there If you volunteer for a three-hour shift, you will get a hot meal and I can vouch for our chefs this year We have actual chefs who are really awesome. Can we get a round of applause for the chefs actually? So you don't get to taste the food unless you volunteer So I might be lying and you won't find out until you volunteer. So definitely volunteer genuinely It's really good. They had ribs last night. It was great and After that, I think I'm out of things some out of things. Yes We have to thank our sponsors So while your tickets that you bought pay for the event all the extra nice stuff that we do on top like having an entire Arcade shipped down from the north of the country Having stuff brought over from other countries all sorts of stuff that's paid for by the sponsors and the sponsors they don't really care what we do They just want to be involved and have a great time as well So please be nice to the sponsors and if we find out anyone has graffitied Microsoft spanner because you don't like them I will personally find you and throw you off site. So Just because I know someone will do it and I'm calling it out now. So please don't do that They're really nice and for other reasons. So the sponsors that we have to thank We have to thank Microsoft who dropped in at the very last minute and saved our badges the badges were about to be canceled and Microsoft along with HCD and Smart carbon control all dropped in on the same day and Saved our badges and we managed to get them made in time Which was a year-long project and the badge team worked so hard to make it happen And you will get badges this year and they will work probably as long as the Wi-Fi doesn't go out and they look a bit like this if The badges fail is the fault of the Wi-Fi and it's not the network's team's fault We just can't deal with that many Wi-Fi devices on the network So it will hopefully be fine Actually on a Wi-Fi mention if you are connecting to the Wi-Fi and you can use the 5 gigahertz Wi-Fi Please connect to that instead. It will be much more reliable if you don't know what I'm talking about Just don't use the Wi-Fi So other sponsors we need to thank we need to thank next mo who also parachuted in helped out with a badge And next mo have implemented. I think this is this probably is a world first It's difficult to tell every badge has a phone number this year And every badge can receive text messages sent to that phone number This is really pointless, but very cool, so I mean this means next year We're just giving you all a cheap smartphone and being done with it, but you know it's We aim tie this year. What can I say? We also have to thank UCL engineering UCL have been involved in the EMF since right at the beginning UCL's University in London You may or may not know them They are sponsoring our childcare again this year. We have full childcare up at the top of the site We have a full kids program for everyone from zero to sixteen And also some workshops happening in other areas as well for young people Please go up there and make use of it if you've got children They'll take great care of them. You don't need to pre-book You can just turn up drop your kids off as long as the space and pick them up later on Maybe don't leave them there the whole weekend. I mean the bar is really good, but you know, it's that let's be careful about that We also have to thank Spotify who have sponsored the Algarave tent, which is over that way So they will be making lots of bleeping noises all day Very loudly and if you would like to learn what Algarave is and how it works and how to produce your own music that Head over there later on today. I'm really hoping they don't get into trouble with the site with the noise But we'll see how that goes their speakers are enormous We also have to thank Mathworks who have dropped in and sponsored as well. We have to thank Texas instruments and ST microelectronics who both sponsored components for the badge again They they really dropped in at the last minute and saved us worth electronic as well RS electronic port Cullis Port Cullis security been involved with the last two AMFs as well They are running a dedicated security stage this year because apparently we didn't have enough security content So if you go right up the top end of the site up there They are putting on content all day every day and they still haven't sent me a schedule either so if Oh, yes, and yes, they're running a capture the flag contest which has been announced on Twitter And I found out that way instead of emailing me. Please send me an email If you would like to try and If you would like to try and play that capture the flag game. Is there a prize? There will be some kind of prize. I don't know what it is There is also a prize from the ham radio village. There's somebody saying something then No, there is a price from the ham radio village Which is two bottles of whiskey for the best thing done with the badge that involves ham radio And it can either be this year's badge or 2014's badge and we have stock of 24 zines badge if you didn't get one If you go to the badge center, they're gonna hate me for saying this if you go to the bad center They've got loads of them kicking around there and you can have a play with those as well So if There are some that work There are about 50 or 60 that work and that will be enough We also have to thank Yelp who have sent us which I really hope we don't need these we have 500 branded Yelp ponchos in case it rains We also have 500 500 branded Texas Instruments umbrellas, and I'm sensing a theme so I Think nearly everyone on site can get some form of rain protection, but perhaps just come into a tent Sorry Other torches as well. I didn't know there were torches Ignore the toilet emptying truck behind you. Oh, no, that's a fuel truck. That's fine We also thank heart internet code think Twilio chef improbable medical connections who are giving a talk on x-ray scanners and Just add sharks who have got a village right down there with loads of laser cutters If you need any laser cutting done this weekend, or you just don't know what a laser cutter is go over there and talk to them Their laser cutter is enormous. It's ridiculous That is all the important stuff that you need to know. Sorry that took a bit long Finally, please make sure that you wear sunscreen during the event Everybody during set up has got burns so far and you will join them if you don't the weather is looking to be really good I've actually just noticed that Jim who is our logistics coordinator is standing out the back there with the Texas Instruments umbrella as a sunshade, so It hadn't entirely occurred to me that if you would like an umbrella as a sunshade They're available from I'd somewhere on from the badge tent again along with everything else And Finally the badges will be available tomorrow We're not doing it today because the site is still being set up and it's just gonna be a nightmare for everyone involved So they'll be available tomorrow at 1 o'clock. Please. Don't all go at the same time like last time that was rubbish Like just you don't need it right away delay yourself a little bit and go later in the evening They'll be handing them out until I think 7 p.m. Oh Oh Tental for apparently Tental for Apparently we're saying Tental for again or everything I've said so Tental for head over there and you can pick up your badge And that is absolutely it the only thing you need to do now is go and explore the site It's not all set up yet. We're very sorry. We're volunteers. We're very tired There are quite a few more installations to go in. There's quite a few things that just There's been a problem with power, but we won't talk about that so they're not turned on But they will be soon And everything should be functioning in the next few hours this evening. We have music on this stage. We have film on stage see See and we have games on stage B and a swing dancing lesson for anyone who wants to take part in that which according to My numbers from favoriting is nearly everyone. So Yeah, is there anything I've missed that anyone can spot Cinema is stage B. I was wrong. Don't go to stage C for the cinema. You'll be going swing dancing First aid we have had a number of accidents already. Please don't add to the list There is the trackway can get quite slippery at night when the jew comes down Please don't cycle around on the trackway at night in the jew when it's slippery I was awake until very late last night. I don't want to be doing that again The first aid team are on call every day all day the first aid tent is just over there They can deal with everything from I've got a bit of a headache too. I've lost a hand They will call an ambulance for that Yeah, and don't lose a hand that's that's good advice Generally while there are a lot of lasers on site don't look into them They really can't deal with that and also this year. There's quite a lot of flamethrowers Also, don't look into those so For general safety if it's very bright or hot don't go near it That includes the Sun actually so be in shade when you can I Believe that is absolutely everything so please explore the site if you spot someone needing help with something Or you've got some free time. Please do volunteer. I can't stress this enough We cannot make the event run without more volunteers It's quite a fun thing to do people respect you for it You'll meet new people you'll have a fun time and this is not a lie. I promise so please go and volunteer later on There was a volunteer induction session at 3 p.m. Today in the volunteer tent Everyone who volunteers for a shift will probably be doing it the next day rather than the same day And you will attend induction for that shift in the morning before the talk start starts You won't miss anything We may be able to accommodate you avoiding talks that you want to go and see for your shifts Or you may be able to volunteer to be at the side of the stage Which is the best view and Tim's pointing at me like I've just said something bad. Oh If you've already volunteered to be stage assistant has anyone here volunteered for that for a forum Yeah, please go to stage C immediately after this talk. Do not stop just run Yeah, and yes, that is it. Is there anything I've missed that anyone can spot oh Yes, if you have a hi vis jacket, please give it back if you have a radio and you don't need it Please give it back if you've taken anything from the HQ and you don't need it Please give it back and if you are one of the people who has taken one of my tables from the backstage area Give it back or I'll find you so I I'm really not joking about that. I've had 20 tables go missing and I don't know where they are and we need them all So please give them back and that is everything Please have a wonderful time and I will see you all at the closing ceremony when I collapse on the floor Oh and Sam has got more. We're not done yet. Oh, yes And also we're very sorry for anyone who's in the family camping in the quiet camping There was a water point marked on the map next to the big tree up there that water point is not available It failed its water quality test so we can't legally well we can legally serve you from it But we might get in trouble so don't try and drink from that it would be take an effort anyway That really is everything have a lovely time explore the site as much as possible be lovely to everyone do ridiculous things and Show off whatever you built. That's it. Have a great time