 Hi there my name is Sherman and welcome to skip dictation live in case you're new to the channel This live stream is for hanging out with me while I record the scp readings or Declassifies depending on what I'm doing that day So everybody welcome. Oh fun channel updates before we get started The patreon again has a patron a single patron. Thank you Dylan fra thresher for existing as a patron to site 42 Second channel update. We got all fancy now. We have a welcome video. So People who check out the channel can see what it's all about. That's pretty neat and Awesome news our video submissions have started being accepted by our scp declassified So that's pretty official. That sounds cool. So they've They accept submissions from this channel now because we make good Declassification videos. Hmm snooty snooty monocle So, yeah That's awesome. Things are going well Happy you guys could come in if Remember that I will try and check on you guys's comments in the live stream while I am in between takes and Today we will be recording scp 3079 scp 3079 Written by the great hippo same author who wrote murphy law Which is 3043 3079 is named 300 tricks stage magic made easy and it is a magic book for stage magicians full of anomalous magic tricks and It gets a little bit Sad face feels you at the end. So we're going to have some fun with that All right, I just want to check on the stream real quick Make sure that everything's functional. Sorry for rearranging things Careful careful. Okay. We're good here. Put you guys back down. There you go. It's all about the angles cool And I've got the chat stream up So let's get down to business To defeat the Huns. All right scp 3079 and action Don't hit the music stand with your hand rule number one item number scp 3079 object class Euclid special containment procedures all copies of scp all copies Well, this is a early morning voice early morning voice has some squeaky special containment procedures all copies of scp 3079 are to be kept in a secure locker on site Access to these copies is limited to personnel with level 4 clearance or higher a Foundation operated bot codenamed. I owe newt is to monitor internet traffic for any indication that an scp 3079-a Instance has been discovered particularly among online community centered around stage magic Should non foundation personnel become aware of an scp 3079-a instance? They are to be captured and amnesthesized immediately description scp 3079 Ah, okay. It says the title and then goes into stuff All right, let's just put that back real quick Procedures I'll chunk shape those silences a little later Cool, let's move on We are wow. We are all ready to the description. I'm not used to running along this quickly high five team Oh, wait, there was a phrase I want to make sure I said, right Nailed it Having a good morning recording scp 3079 300 tricks stage magic made easy is a 435 page hardback book written by Prud Let's try that again 300 tricks stage magic made easy is a 435 page hardback book written and self published by Tobin Hollis It contains detailed instructions for performing numerous stage tricks The majority of these tricks involve traditional techniques such as sleight of hand misdirection Drat Little breathy on that last one. I'm going to fix misdirection, but everything else is good continue on techniques such as sleight of hand sleight of hand misdirection and optical illusions Instances of scp 3079 dash a our instructions contained within scp 3079 Which describe methods to achieve anomalous results? These instructions are scattered throughout scp 3079 The text itself makes no distinction between anomalous and non-anomalous and non And non anomalous And non anomalous that's a lot of ends The text itself makes no distinction All right, we're going to say that 10 times and see if we can make it happen You can say it 10 times fast along with me. I'm going to cut that a little smaller. There we go Now 3079 all right The text itself makes no distinction between anomalous and non anomalous entries The text itself makes no distinction between anomalous and non And and is a word and has a d at the end of that word and And and The text makes no distinction between anomalous and non anomalous entries The text itself makes no distinction between anomalous and non anomalous Anemones anemones The text itself makes no distinction between anomalous and non anomalous entries The text itself makes no distinction between anomalous and non anomalous entries The text itself makes no distinction between anomalous and non-anomalous entries. The text itself makes no distinction between anomalous and non-anomalous entries. There are 47 such... Try to move on to the next one. Didn't work too good. The text itself makes no distinction between anomalous and non-anomalous entries. There are 47 such instances in total. Alright, we're gonna give this a try now. Going to give it a try. The text itself makes no distinction between anomalous and non-anomalous entries. There are 47 such instances in total. The anomalous nature of these entries were noticed quickly prior to its crud. I said it right, but I thought it was wrong, grammatically, but it's not wrong. Or it might be. No! That take I took on the recording, the recording didn't take, I gotta do it again. Well not if I'll just do it again, crud. The text itself makes no distinction between anomalous and non-anomalous entries. There are 47 such instances in total. The anomalous nature of these entries were noticed immediately prior to its publication. All copies of SCP-3079 were taken into foundation possession. All knowledge of its existence was successfully suppressed. SCP-3079's author was taken into foundation custody, where he remained until his death several weeks later. Addendum 3079.1, notable entries. Yes, no clicks. There are 47 such instances in total prior to its publication. All copies of SCP-3079 were taken into foundation possession. All knowledge of its existence was successfully suppressed. SCP-3079's author was taken into foundation custody, where he remained until his death several weeks later. Addendum 3079.1, notable entries. All right, we are up to the magic tricks. Here's where it gets anomalous. And from here. All right, so now we need spooky magician music to go behind when we're talking about the entries. Because that'll make it more interesting. We've gotten through the bulk, not the bulk, because the magician parts are a little longer than the main part. But we got through the actual main article in less than two minutes. It's a short skip. We'll see how we do on the addendum here. So magician voice. I wonder how Dracula I want to be. Magician. Because somehow, in my head, magician voice is... I don't want to be too Dracula, I want to be a little funny, a little dramatic, a little, I'm putting on a show. I also, for some reason in my head, it sounds like George Takei to me. The impossible fold. Affect. The magician writes his name on a sheet of paper. Like, I kind of like that sound. Because then when it gets to the sad parts at the end, the magician reveals that he knows what number she now has. Eleven. She's probably grown up so much since then. Yeah, that's the voice, because it sounds really sad at the end. Oh, and I need the right music. I need the music to like, oh, I need like a music box-sounding thing. It needs to sound like I need some royalty-free music box music. By the way, this dance, in case your old school webcomic is the questionable content dance. It's a webcomic. Check it out. It's awesome. From the top of the magicians, and number three. The impossible fold. Affect. The magician writes his name on a sheet of paper. He then asks the viewer to write her name on the opposite side of the paper. He proceeds to fold the paper several times over, before finally unfolding it to reveal that her name is now on both sides of the paper. Let's see how that sounds. That her name is now on both sides. I have to go record the first three lines because there was some crackly-crackly microphone interference. Alright, let's mute that and start at the top. Number three. The impossible fold. Oh, drat. I messed up. Let's do it again. Number three. The impossible fold. Affect. Alright, that should be better. Let's cut that, and paste that, and excellent. We are back in business. I'm going to leave that space. Oh, what did I? Control-Z. Control-Z again. Okay, good. There's a space there I'm going to leave because I might have a dramatic ramp up to the music box music. Music box music. Because that'll give it a creepy vibe. Even though it's not supposed to be creepy, people will think it's creepy for a bet. Because this is the SCP. Everything's creepy, right? We don't do funny or heartfelt. We're just creepy. It's all horror. It's all horror. Alright, next up. Note, a diagram is provided demonstrating the complex series of folds required in order to cause this effect. While objects folded this way undergo an anomalous process, they are not anomalous in and of themselves. Cool. We got the note. The note is there. The note is good. Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do. Alright, moving on. Number 37. The Mending Knot effect. The magician produces a length of rope and a pair of cutting shears. He invites the viewer to step forward and examine both objects. Once she is satisfied as to their ordinary nature, the magician asks her to use the shears to cleanly cut the rope in two. Then, the magician binds both links together in a knot. He asks her to examine the knot, and then asks her to cut the center of the knot with the shears. Upon making this final move, the magician asks her to cut the rope in two. He asks her to cut the center of the knot with the shears. Upon making this final cut, the knot instantly unravels, revealing the two lengths are now restored to one. Note, the method involves an anomalous type of knot able to fuse clute. The method involves an anomalous type of knot able... No! I suck! I was doing so well! Drat! Dratty! Now, let's make sure this is good. The method involves an anomalous type of knot able to fuse cleaved links of rope back together. The method involves an anomalous type of knot able to fuse cleaved links of rope back together. Nice! One and done! Actually, that's like the fourth one, but eh, whatever. Still rolling. Number 78. Lost and Found. A fact. The magician produces a deck of cards. The viewer is invited to examine it at her leisure, then shuffle it for as long as she pleases. The magician hands her his hat and tells her to drop any card she wishes into it. He then instructs her to put the hat on her head. Once finished, the magician takes the cards, shuffles them, and cuts the deck. He asks the viewer to take a card from the top of the deck and examine it. It is the very same card she took. Furthermore, when she lifts the hat from her head, the card is gone. In its place is someone she thought she lost long ago. Note, the method involves a particular ordering of the deck prior to the trick, a complex shuffling technique, and a hat of sufficient size. The object that appears underneath the hat is a domesticated juvenile... The object that appears underneath the hat is a domesticated juvenile white male rabbit. The object that appears underneath the hat is a domesticated juvenile white male rabbit. Every instance has proven to be both genetically and physiologically identical. Leisure! Every same card she took, when she lifts the hat from her head, the card is gone. In its place is someone she thought she lost long ago. Note, the method involves a particular ordering of the deck prior to the trick, a complex shuffling technique, and a hat of sufficient size. The object that appears underneath the hat is a domesticated juvenile white male rabbit. The object that appears underneath the hat is a domesticated juvenile white male rabbit. Let's delete all the bad takes. The object that appears underneath the hat is a domesticated juvenile white male rabbit. Every instance has proven to be both genetically and physiologically identical. Excellent! Clean and great! Number 78. Actually, we can leave that space. Cool. Next one. Next one. We're still running and gunning. Number 143. Lost time. Effect. The magician produces a folded silk handkerchief, which he proceeds to drape and unfold across his clenched hand. When he pulls the handkerchief back, his hand is full of beautiful hyacinths. One for each birthday he has missed. Note, a diagram describes the necessary folds that must be performed on the handkerchief to achieve this result. Notably, the number of hyacinths produced by this effect has increased by one each year since its discovery. She proceeds to drape and unfold across his clenched hand. When he pulls the handkerchief back, his hand is full of beautiful hyacinths. A diagram describes the necessary folds that must be performed on the handkerchief to achieve this result. Notably, the number of hyacinths produced by this effect has increased by one each year since its discovery. Oh, excellent. I didn't mess up that ending. I thought I might have messed up that ending, but I didn't mess up that ending. Excellent. Well, that's really a long break. Don't need that much break. Okay. Moving on. Next trick. Number 200 and... What? What? Come on. Come on, son. You can do better than that. Number 215. The magic number. Effect. The viewer is invited to think of a number between 1 and 9. The magician tells her to double this number, then add 9. Whatever number she has should now be between 11 and 27. Next, the magician tells her to take this new number and add its two digits together. Oh, fudge. I didn't want to put a break there. So I'm going to go from next. I put it up there. The first part was fine. Ooh, that's a long break. Get rid of that. So I'm adding longer breaks into my... When I hit play, I'm waiting a couple seconds because that seems to stop the problem where I end up clicking the microphone so that I lose less takes. Or at least maybe I'm just being superstitious. The magician tells her to take this new number and add its two digits together. If it is 13, the number is 4. If it is 15, the number is 6 and so on. The magician then reveals that he knows what number she now has. 11. She's probably grown up so much since then. The number and add its two digits together. The number is 4. This new number and add its two digits together. I gotta do better than that, man. That's gross. I need to not mess that up. Next, the magician tells her to take this new number and add its two digits together. That's better. That's the take. No craggly voice. We're not playing that game. Aha. Got it. That's the take. That's the good one. Note, the method involves a precise set of phrases that the participant must both hear and understand. Testing is shown that when performed correctly, the participant will always end up with 11, despite the fact that this result is mathematically impossible. Voice. Oh, God. Oh, okay. Good. It, uh... I thought I saw some clicks in the recording, but there are not clicks in the recording. Everything's fine. Nothing's ruined. Just so you know. Number three. Number, number, number burp. No. Number 301. Wait, I've gotta, I've been putting the ands in. I gotta do that. Number 301. His final trick. A fact. The magician burns what little money he has left to publish a book before it's too late. In it, he tells her all of his tricks. He tells her how sorry he is that he left. He begs her to forgive him. He begs her to let him see her one last time. And then, like magic, she reappears. Note, no method for accomplishing this trick is provided. Oh, sad face. Hmm. I gotta think about that take a little bit, because I'm not sure it had the right emotional punch. I'm not sure about that take. Yeah, I'm gonna try that again. I think I like the ending, though. So yeah, we'll keep that, because that's clean. But I'm gonna delete everything from the... Or I'm just gonna leave this take, because I can keep it in case I want it back later. It can't hurt to have backups. Alright, let's try it again, see if we can do it a different way. Number 301. His final trick. A fact. The magician burns what little money he has left to publish a book before it's too late. In it, he takes... No, I know how I gotta do this. Alright, I think we got this on lock. Number 301. His final trick. A fact. The magician burns what little money he has left to publish a book before it's too late. In it, he tells her all of his tricks. He tells her how sorry he is that he left. He begs her to forgive him. He begs her to let him see her one last time. And then, like magic, she reappears. Yes! Oh, that's so good. Oh, that's gonna be it. Let's find out. I think that's it. Let me play it side-by-side with the other one. I think we ran the intensity up on that take. I think that's uh... I think that's gonna do it. Let's find out. It's provided. Whomp, whomp, whomp. Oh, sad face. That was good. That was the take. We're gonna... I'm glad I did that a second time. That one felt real. That one felt uh... like what we wanted. Let's tack that on there. Delete that. Go to the end. Take that with a little bit of space. Timing's everything on this ending. Man, that is sad. And it makes me laugh because of a terrible person. Because of how well that sad is countered by the ending. Like, because it's such a clinical statement of there is no way of performing this trick. She didn't come back. And it's just so matter-of-factual. That's... God, that's one of the reasons I love the SCP Foundation so much is because they frickin'... They hit those punches underneath things that you don't expect. They hide the punch behind the clinical. So good. Okay, that... That is a seven-minute skip. Oh my Lord, I haven't done a shorty like this in a while. Hallelujah, amen. So yeah, it is early enough that I'm probably gonna get this recorded and put up before I go to work. So look forward to seeing this skip in the next 30 minutes. Probably 30 minutes or less or your money back. You didn't pay me anything. Unless you did. Which you didn't. Unless you did. Anyways, thank you guys for tuning in. Sorry about that. Thank you guys for tuning in to Skip Dictation Live. I hope you enjoyed the show. I hope you enjoy the skip when it premieres. This has been SCP-3079 by The Great Hippo. And I'm Sherman. This has been Site 42's Skip Dictation Live. See you guys next time. Turn it off the stream.