 Lux presents Hollywood. The Lux Radio Theatre brings you George Brent, Priscilla Lane, and Gail Patrick in Wife, Husband, and Friend. Ladies and gentlemen, your producer, Mr. Cecil V. DeMille. Greetings from Hollywood, ladies and gentlemen. Many a woman has given up a career for marriage, and many a husband has been constantly reminded of it ever since. In such cases, the husband usually becomes a philosopher, and the strange thing is that with every passing year, the more wonderful the career is likely to seem to the lady and the greater the demands on the husband's philosophy. It's a very far-reaching situation, and that's what gave universal appeal to the 20th Century Fox picture, wife, husband, and friend, a very human comedy that you'll hear tonight with Priscilla Lane as the wife, George Brent as the husband, and Gail Patrick as the friend. We borrowed Miss Lane this week from the cast of the new Warner Brothers picture, Million Dollar Baby. In Wife, Husband, and Friend, a wife's career, this time it's singing, pops up quite unexpectedly when her husband thought it safely buried away. The result is a domestic crisis of the first magnitude, and the solution is a monument of ingenuity, but that's for George Brent, Priscilla Lane, and Gail Patrick to reveal at the proper time. I hope you're ready for an evening of gaiety and laughter because we have the makings of it right here, and all we need is you to enjoy it. Every once in a while, someone who's just joined this audience tells us that they're going to buy a few boxes of luxe flakes because they consider it their logical ticket to these evenings in the Luxe Radio Theatre. We always appreciate that because their friendly intentions are most gracious, and we know they're just about to make a pleasant valuable discovery. Actually, of course, there's nothing under the sun to keep you from taking your seat in this theatre week after week without buying anything. But if you'll just try luxe flakes, we'll trust your good judgment from then on. Now we'll introduce you to Wife, Husband, and Friend. As the curtain goes up on Act 1, starring George Brent as Leonard Borland, Priscilla Lane as Doris, and Gail Patrick as Mrs. Seal Carver. On the stage of the New York Opera House, a great soprano is about to die on a high D-flat. You'll know from this that the opera is almost over. The full dress audience is breathless, spellbound. In a box near the stage, Doris Borland sits tensely on the edge of her seat. Mrs. Blair, Doris' mother, sits tensely on the edge of her seat. Major Blair, Doris' father, is a little more comfortable. And Leonard Borland, Doris' husband, is sound asleep. Leonard always goes to sleep at the opera. Isn't she wonderful? Wonderful, wonderful. I can't tell you what it does to me, mother. Music like that, it's like a bubble bursting inside of me. Myself, I generally faint. It seems to have cast its spell on Leonard too. He's asleep. Again? Leonard. Leonard, dear, wake up, wake up. Oh, what's that? Oh, hello, Doris. The pretty music is over, darling. We can go home now. Over already? Well, it seems we only got here yesterday. How are you, Major? Evening, my boy. Hello, mother. Huh. Yeah. Doris, I think your mother's angry with me. I must say I can't understand how anyone can sleep through an opera. Oh, you get used to it after a while. Like I always say, the opera's really no worse than a horrible case of arthritis. Leonard, shall we go? Of course, dear. Leonard? Yes, dear. Your mother and dad are coming for dinner tomorrow night. Oh, look for it. Oh, I'm tired. I don't know why you should be, dear. You slept all evening. No, I didn't. The tenor woke me up with a second night finale, and I had a terrible time getting back to sleep. Darling, do you mind if I tell you something? You're very crude. Really? You have bad manners. You're still just an engineering school half-bag. Full-bag. And the worst of it is you're proud of it. Well, I guess I'm the art or type. You see that? You don't like opera? You don't like the Playgore's Guild? I don't like any of the arts. Well, I like football. Football? There you see. I can't understand why you like football, and you can't understand why you like opera. You forget. I used to sing, dear. Oh, no, no, no. I couldn't forget that, darling. What do you mean by that? No, no. Let's not get into an argument. I merely said I used to sing. I merely said I used to play football, but I don't go around wearing shoulder pads. Now see here, Leonard. Baby, let's get married. Again? Sure. What does it matter so long as we love each other? Oh, Leonard, what am I going to do with you? Kiss me. Leonard. I love you, Doris. Really? Yeah. Every time I see you, it's the first time, and every time I kiss you, I've never kissed you before. That's why it's so exciting. It's always so new. That's lovely, darling. Where'd you get it? Out of a book. Except for the kiss. Now, that was my own idea. The book just said it, but I feel it. Which is so much better. Doris. Hmm? I've got a confession to make to you. Confession? It's not an easy thing to say, but the truth is you're a snob. Why, you take that back. Hey, cut that out. Cut it out. Hey, you hurt. I meant to. Darling, if you weren't in the social register, I'd smack you flat on the floor. Dinner's ready. I'm hungry tonight. What's the matter, Major? Leonard, my boy, how did you like the opera last night? I slept like a baby. No, no, I mean, did you notice anything unusual during the evening? Well, I had a bad dream during the third act. No, no, I mean anything unusual about Doris. You didn't notice that gleam in her eyes. We came out. Ah, there you go again. Leonard, Doris is getting ready to sing again. I can feel it in my bones. She's getting ready for that career again. And there you are, sitting back, blind as a bat. Major, with all due respect, you're crazy. That's all over. Finny. That's the way I used to be about her mother. Blind. I must have aged 30 years listening to my wife sing. And that's the way it's going to be with you, too. Well, I may not know everything, Major, but I fatted myself that I now know how to handle Doris in her career. That's what I used to say about her mother. Good evening, Fisher. Would you take the major's code? Yes, sir. Only one way, kind but firm. I was firm. My wife was firmer. The hand of steel and the velvet glove, it never fails. Hey, what's that? Fisher, what's that? Mrs. Brown, Mrs. Ball and sir. They've been practicing all afternoon. Well, good night, Leonard. Tell my wife I've gone to the club, but not which one. No, nonsense, Major. Come on in. No, no, no. It's your problem, my boy. And already I recognize history repeating itself. Tomorrow or maybe even tonight, she'll say, do you realize if it hadn't been for you, I'd be a great singer today? And after that, X marks the spot. You think so? I know so. Good night, my boy. Fisher, is anyone with them? The singing teacher, sir. Mr. Hugo Kurtfelder. I'll have Mr. Kurtfelder's code ready. He's leaving in just a moment. You know Hugo Kurtfelder, don't you? Sure. So long, Hugo. I'll take your part. Come on, this way out. Leonard! I'll get to you next, ma, outside, Hugo. But I don't understand. Of course you don't. That's what I'm just trying to tell you. So long, John. He's insane. A stark, raving maniac. And I've always suspected it. Good evening, ma. Leaving so soon? Leonard. Sorry, dear, but your mother's next. This way, ma. Doris! Now listen, ma, you're a great old girl and I love you. But this is my home and not yours. And the mage is the one you're supposed to pester and not me. So if it's all the same to you, outside. You! You loony! So long, ma. And I'll thank you not to call me ma. Hello, darling. Leonard, how dare you. How dare you. Now listen, don't get excited. Who do you think you are, Tarzan? Listen. What Hugo was bad enough but to bully an old woman, my mother. Now listen, darling. And stop starting everything you say with listen. Okay, anyway you like, but listen. Be quiet. Do you realize what Hugo said today? Something's cruel, I bet. Do you realize he said if it hadn't been for you, I might be a great singer today? A great singer, I tell you. He didn't. And that I had a career. Maybe a brilliant career, but for your stubbornness. He did? Yes, and I still have a voice. I still can sing. He said so. All right, sing. Well, I'm going to. You know what else Hugo said this afternoon? He said that in three months I could be ready for a recital at town hall. Sure. In three months I could be ready to lick Joe Lewis. When you say a thing like that, I seriously wonder if you still have good sense. Well, the statement stands. Well, I'm going to do it. To what? Give a recital. You are of a my dead body. But why? Why do you say such a thing? Why do you take such an attitude? Oh, forget it. I'm not going to forget it. Not again. You stopped my career when we were married and you stopped it ever since. But now I'm going to know why. Well, I'm telling you. Don't ask me. But I am asking you. Okay, if that's the way you want it. Because you're a... You're a rotten singer. So. So I'm a loud... I said rotten. You did not. You said loud... No, no, no. What's the difference? All right. But what Hugo says, a singer himself, a man who has taught and coached singers for years, what he says means nothing? Well, you asked for it. And may I ask how you... A fullback. A contractor without even a child's knowledge of music? May I ask how you know that I'm alive? I don't know it. But I know it. I mean, it's instinctive. And that's all you have to say about it? Isn't it enough? No, darling. Not nearly enough. And if you don't believe me, read the papers tomorrow morning. Social Registrative View. Doris Baldwin, daughter of Major and Mrs. L. Rodney Blair, will present a program of the lighter operatic arrays at the town hall, the evening of May 14th. The line's approaching, Mike. Brother, you're in a hole. Is that the best you've got to offer? I'm your business partner, not a magician. If I got haggarded to buy 20 tickets, I promised him preferential treatment on the next concrete deal. Mike, that's blackmail. You said it. It's the only way, though. I'm buying up most of the tickets myself and passing them out free. You see, the way I figured, I can't stand to lose much more than a thousand bucks on the whole show. That makes a dirt cheap. Makes what dirt cheap? Well, for Doris to get it out of her system, of course. That's all she needs. A nice blow out like this just to show me she's got what it takes. And it'll wash the whole thing up. I guess you're right at that. Sure. That's why I want to put it over big. Then she'll get it out of her system and that'll satisfy her forever. I see. Have you told her yet that we lost money on our last four jobs and we haven't got any others? No. What's the use? Plenty use. It's a little good, isn't it? Plow under a few of those butlers and maybe rent out a room or two until we get something coming in again? No. So far as Doris knows, we're making money hand over fist. Besides, if I told her the truth, she might want to cook for me. Yeah. Oh. I tell you, Mike, a singing wife is a terrible problem. Yeah. If my wife even starts to hum, I'll smack her right across the mouth. The round tone. Full. Watch the breathing, Mrs. Boyland. Do it the theater in 20 minutes. Look, now, Mrs. Blair, please. Doris, where's my pants? What's the matter with you? I'm eating pants. I can't find them. Oh, Leonard. Don't bother Doris now. She stopped to practice. We're due at the theater. Quiet, please. Quiet. Telephone, Mrs. Baldwin. Telephone's pants. How can we practice? I'll take a fish. Doris, where's my pants? Let her alone. Listen, I got no pants. But that's all. All right. I'll go without her. Maybe it'll start something new. Volga. Volga. I'll go without her. But I got to have pants. Will you please keep your voice down? Leonard, something terrible has happened. Doris, where are my pants? Oh, Leonard, please listen. Louise Bronson got Rudolph Hertz to promise to come and give me a review. And now it turns out that she told him the wrong day. Who's Rudolph Hertz? Only the most famous music critic in the country. Well? I've got to have him there, Leonard. I must have him. A good review from him would mean everything. You know about giving him a ring. Oh, the phone's private. There's only one thing to do, Leonard. That's for you to go right over to his hotel yourself. Hey, wait a minute. Leonard, please. But I can't go busting in on some guy I've never even heard of. Oh, you must not upset me, Leonard. I've got to have Rudolph Hertz at my recital. Okay, okay, okay. Let me get my coat on. Hey, wait a minute. Where's my pants? Yes? Oh, excuse me. I'd like to see Mr. Hertz, please. Oh, I'm afraid he's not here. I've been waiting for him myself. Oh. Won't you come in, please? Is there anything I can do? Well, you see, my wife, she's a singer. Well, I mean, she thinks she's a singer. A lot of us do. My name is Cecile Carver. Oh, why, you sang at the opera the other night. Were you there? Yes, I was. Did you like it? Well, I was asleep. Oh, now really? How sorry. I didn't mean to be rude. Not at all. I enjoy honesty. Won't you sit down? Oh, I can't. You see, my wife's singing at the town hall tonight, and I was supposed to ask Mr. Hertz to come over and listen to it. I hardly think he'll be back in time, but I'll give him your message if I see him. Oh, thanks a lot. Well, I've got to run along. Wait. What did you want? An opinion of your wife's voice? Well, I don't need any opinion. I see. Well, good evening, Mr.... Borland. Leonard Borland. Good night, Miss Carver. Good night. Charming. Hello, Desk. Cecile Carver speaking. Will you call the town hall, please? Have them reserve a ticket for tonight's recital in my name. Thank you. Oh, thank you. Thank you. Outside, everyone. Please, Mrs. Borland must rest. Thank you so much. Doris, you were magnificent. Well, Leonard? You win, baby. Give me a kiss. Oh, darling. Oh, honey, you murdered him. Perhaps next time you'll think twice... No, you bet I will, ma. Now, how about us getting away, Doris? Just showing me and having a little celebration of our own. Oh, Leonard, I can't. It's quite out of the question. Hugo's coming back with the agent. With what? The agent, dear. The man who arranges the tour. But I thought this was all... I mean, I thought this was all you wanted was this. Are you out of your head again? Oh, Leonard, you mean that after a triumph like this, I should actually give it all out? Oh, but, honey, I... Don't you see, dear, if I had flopped this evening, but I didn't, the whole house packed. Not only friends and people I knew, but hundreds I'd never saw or heard of before. The entire theater sold out. Oh, Leonard, even. You must appreciate what that means. Yes, I do. You must realize, Leonard, that after tonight, Doris belongs not to you, but to America. America want her. Mrs. Borland, picture. Oh, Doris, picture. On stage quickly. Oh, Leonard, I've got to go. I'll see you later, darling. Don't wait up. What have I done? I certainly would. Thanks. I'll be there. She has a fine voice, a remarkably fine voice. And you think she ought to go on? With that voice and her looks, certainly. Oh, well, that's fine. You're such a liar. But, it's all my... Liar? I don't think it's fine at all. Any more than I think she has a good voice. What about the performance last night? Sucker stuff. Who was there? Friends and people you bullet into buying tickets. It was amateur night with a neighborhood favorite. That's all. I wish she knew that. You want to hear something else? What? You're scared of her. Scared to death. Scared of Doris? That's ridiculous. You don't want to go on, do you? But she's going on, isn't she? Yeah, she's going on, all right. And you're not going to try to stop her? Well, I have tried. Have you tried saying no? I couldn't do that. I couldn't say no to a girl like Doris. I like you, Mr. Borland. I like you, too. Thank you. Well, I've got to get ready for a concert myself. I'm singing in a charity performance tonight. You're darn nice, Miss Carver. Cecile will do. Excuse me. Hello? Yes? Oh, you can't? Oh, very well. Never mind. Can you imagine that? Anything wrong? It's so stupid. They want me to sing a certain song this evening, a service song. I don't know the words, and now I can't get them. I don't know if any fellow's gone out of town. What's the song? Some song may sing in the Navy about the waves breaking over the bow or something. Oh, that song. You know it? Sure. Enough of the words? I think so. Oh, Mr. Borland, heaven must have sent you. Sing, Mr. Borland. Well, this is one for the book, me singing for you. Let's have it, please. Yeah, you really want me to give out? Right on the button. Yeah, but look, you can't get the real Borland here. I'm strictly a bathroom singer. Where is it? Yonder, sir. Okay, this may not be good, but it'll be loud. You ready? Ready. What's that? Just testing. Go ahead. Through the ocean blue we plow as the waves break over the bow. Why, what happened? I busted a glass. It was on the shelf. You broke it? How? I sang at it. I should have turned my head the other way. You sang at the glass and it broke? Yeah, it always does. You mean it's happened before? Well, I'm not careful. You're not sore, are you? No. Borland, this is astounding. Well, I don't like it so much myself. Having a voice that breaks up crockery. Give me those glasses on the table. Glasses? Yeah, but still... Now come on over to the piano. What for? Sing at the glass again. Go on. I beg your pardon? Try it, try it. Loud. Okay. Up the scale. Come on, give it. Now you see? That's a terrible waste of glassware. Borland, I'm almost afraid to say it, but that's a great voice. Would you mind repeating that? It sounded exactly to me as if you said I had a great voice. You have a great voice. So listen, why don't you lie down? It's a miracle. I think I'd better get out of here. Oh no, no, not yet. How would you like me to give you lessons? What? I'm serious, Borland. That's what I'm afraid of. Goodbye. Oh no, wait. You can't just walk out. You can't. Listen, I've got it. But what? You're the one that's going to sing. You're the one that's going to be a success. Not your wife. How would you like to sing on tour? All the big halls. I believe you're really insane. Don't be stupid. When I tell you you've got a voice, you've got a voice. I'm Cecil Carver. I know. Yeah, but lady, I'm a contractor at building. Not to me. To me, you're a singer. A singer with a trumpet in his throat. A trumpet? Think of this. Carnegie Hall, the lights, the excitement, the whole house packed. To hear you sing. Me? You can do it, I tell you. With that voice, I guarantee it. Well, all I know is that you're scaring the living daylights out of me, you know? Am I? Then think of this, too. Think of her sitting out front that night. Your wife. Everybody else when the house lights go down and the foot lights go up. And then the applause as the star walks out on the stage. You. To sing? To sing. Who would be the head man then? You or your wife? It's crazy. But it is a funny idea. We can do it, Borland. Will you? Sure. Sure I will. Why not? Go, go, go, go. Yes. Did you see that? I just busted the chandelier. After a brief intermission, Mr. DeMille will bring back George Brent, Priscilla Lane and Gail Patrick for act two, a wife, husband and friend. Now, suppose you're driving along the highway some evening, along about dinner time. I'm getting hungry, Jim. Let's stop in the next place and get something to eat. There, there's one. Uh-uh. You don't want to stop there. That one on the other side there's the one I picked. Why, Jim? We've never driven out here before. How do you know that one's better? Well, it's simple, honey. There are twice as many cars in front of it. And when twice as many people choose one place, oh, well, you can bet there's a pretty good reason. And that's the way it is with new, quick lux. Twice as many women choose lux flakes for stockings, underthings, pretty dresses, other nice things, too, as choose any other flakes, chips or beans. And we've got plenty of reasons for doing it, too. Right, Sally. You want to tell us what they are? Well, there are different reasons at different times. For instance? For instance, when you're washing out stockings and undies before you go to bed and, oh, you're sort of sleepy. Well, you don't want to wait for any old slowpoke suds. And then you're glad new, quick lux is so fast. Any more for instances? Sure. When you buy a dress or a sweater that you're simply crazy about and you hate to think how you'd feel if it shrank or faded or anything when you washed it, then you're glad lux flakes are so gentle. Safe for anything, safe in water. And when you see how far a big box of lux flakes goes, how many stockings and underthings, dresses and sweaters you can wash with just one box, then you're pleased as anything to find lux flakes are so thrifty. Fast, gentle and so thrifty. It really isn't any wonder, is it, that new, quick lux is America's favorite care for stockings, underthings, pretty dresses and so on, two to one over any other flakes, chips or beads. Better buy a big box of lux flakes tomorrow. It comes in the same familiar package, doesn't cost you a cent more. And remember, when twice as many people choose one thing as another, there must be plenty of good reasons. Now, our producer Mr. DeMille. Act two of Wife, Husband and Friend, starring George Brent as Leonard, Priscilla Lane as Doris and Gail Patrick as Cecil Carver. Under the tutelage of Cecil Carver, Leonard is preparing for his debut as a singer. For a month they've been practicing in secret session, modulating his tremendous voice to keep down the glassware bills. Doris has not been idle. Regularly for five hours each day, she strains madly at her vocal chords. Norious Doris, it rings like a bell. Pear shape, pear shape. Telephone, Mrs. Barlin. Who's calling, Tisha? Mr. Murray of the New York Concert Bureau, madam. Give it to me. Yes, Mr. Murray? Yes. Oh, oh, you can't. I see. Oh, I understand that. Yes, I know. Thank you very much. Well, dear, he said no. No, I cannot understand that. I simply cannot. How about the radio? I understand it's becoming quite respectable. We tried the radio. There was that movie theater. Movie theater. Who do they think Doris is? Cab Calloway? Oh, don't be ridiculous. Mother Am I in a spot? Can you just imagine what Mr. Leonard Borland would have to say if he knew about this? That, that throwback. Can't you just hear him saying, didn't I tell you so? Why, if he ever suspected? I wonder. I wonder if he already suspects. What do you mean? Well, he's been acting so funny for the past month or so. Very jolly and mysterious as if he had something up his sleeve. Very patronizing, too. That's what gets me. He's done everything, but give me a friendly pat on the shoulder. Oh, it's probably just another woman. What? Your father always acted in that rather silly fashion after leering at some poor girl from the top of a bus. Well, at the moment I believe I could stand for another woman easier than I can this pat on the back attitude of his. The man is callous. Absolutely callous. It's a tragic fact, my dear. But for five generations, the women of our family have married in-artistic men. Most of them could scarcely be distinguished from cannibals. I know what you mean. Your father was even worse. For three years I discussed Wagner with him. Before I realized, he thought I was talking about a baseball player. It's depressing. Anybody home? Oh, there he is now. Smile, mother, smile. How are you, darling? How's our little canary today? Very well, thank you. How are you, ma? Well, thank you, Leonard. I think I will be going. Well, so long, Hugo. Where's the major, mother, dear? In the butler's pantry. What's the old gentleman doing? Shooting spitballs? Leonard, please. It was his own idea. I had just started telling Doris about my debut in Washington. Yeah, I get it. I'll run out and see him. Well, baby, everything okay? That's fine, fine. Just keep your chin up, baby. My dear, where are you? Did you see that? Didn't I tell you? Mother, that settles it. I've got to do something. I don't care what it is, I've just got to, mother. I can't admit he was right about this thing. It's gone too far. What are you thinking of, dear? I'm going to take a job. Any kind of a job? As long as it's singing. I'm going to call Mr. Scheltz. Doris, he was the movie theater man. Well, whatever. He's the only one who'll take me. Darling, I don't care for this. I'm going home. Well, goodbye, mother. Hello, Mr. Scheltz, please. A movie theater. After all our wonderful plans. Don't worry, darling. It'll be all right. Hello, Mr. Scheltz. This is Mrs. Borland, Mr. Scheltz. I've decided to accept your offer. Yes. Oh, well, I'd like to keep it quiet for a while. You see, I'm in rather a strange position. I'm not here with my own free will. They sent me out of the room. They're plotting. I tell you, they're up to some plot. You'd better watch your steps, son. Don't you worry about me, major. I've got this whole singing business licked any time I want to bear down. You mean you've got a plan? Major, I've got a honey. Then use it now. Well, I've been hoping I wouldn't have to. Oh, Leonard, you're young yet. But when you're my age, you won't have to sit on a pant for shelf every time some long-haired guy sits down at the piano. No. And use your plan, no matter what they say, use it, give them both barrels, blow them sky-high. When you're dealing with musicians, show them no mercy. Yeah. I guess you're right. I'll have to speak to Thomas first. You seem very cheerful, Leonard. Well, shouldn't I be? Things been going well at the office? Oh, so, so, so, so. Don Ross, I was thinking. Yes, dear? Look, what do you say we pack up and get out of here? You mean leave New York? Yeah, go to Florida, Bermuda. I mean, we've been under a little strain, a little business and art and all that sort of thing. Maybe if we went away somewhere together, I mean, well, after all, there's nothing doing around here right away. Nothing doing? Oh, darling, it is sweet of you, but it's just out of the question. I know you're not interested, but you see, we're all of us just up to our ears and all these agents and managers. Sign here and sign there. It's just driving us literally crazy trying to decide which offer to take. Oh, yeah? Yes, but I've finally got something that really looks good. It's not quite settled, but it's by far the best yet. Okay, okay, forget it. Why, even Hugo was impressed when he heard about it. Of course, it wouldn't mean a great deal to you. I said, okay, didn't I? Forget it. Why, Leonard? Here's the booking, Leonard. Open in Pittsburgh, then Cincinnati, Charleston, Washington, Baltimore, Philadelphia, New York and New York. But Cecile, what did I tell my wife? A business trip, silly. And here's the billing. Mr. Cecile Carver and a song recital assisted by Mr. Logan Bennett. Logan Bennett. Excuse me, that'll suck him. What were we saying? Yes, I am. You see... Who's that? Your wife? Yes. What? I said yes, dear. Did she call you? No, I called... Listen, dear, I... I may be away a little longer than I'd planned. I mean, there are certain angles to this deal. I may have to go over to Philadelphia. Maybe... Kelly, you know... I get it. Well, say it. Oh, you know. I mean, well, I... I don't have to tell you a thing like that. Go on, tell her. Well, there's a couple of fellas here. Oh. Good night, Doris. Night. Don't take it so hard. All you need is a little practice in lying. Hello? Charge that call to my room, will you? Yes, Mr. Bennett. This thing is getting me down. Oh, forget it. Come and sit down by me. Well, if you don't mind, it's sort of late. I ought to be getting along. Oh, but, Leonard, I wanted to talk to you about the recital tomorrow. Well, can't we do it in the morning? You're really in love with your wife, aren't you? What's so funny about that? Oh, nothing. But I do wish you wouldn't keep avoiding me all the time. You make me feel wicked, Leonard. Do I? Very wicked. Good night, Toots. Oh, you have to go. You've got your life, I do. Boy, it's great to be back, isn't it? Are you glad to get back to New York or your wife? Both. Most of my wife. Well, please remember that we're playing over in Newark tonight. I want you to be at the theater at 8 sharp. Don't worry. I'll be right on the dot. I just wanted to remind you. I thought perhaps you might get so interested in seeing your wife, you'd forget. By the way, just what are you going to tell her? Well, I don't know. I figure it's too complicated to try and explain all at once. I think I'll just tell her that, well, I've got to follow up this business deal a little further. A very novel story. Right over here, driver. Well, no, you're springing it until I'm a real success. How long are you going to be, Leonard? Oh, just a few minutes. All right, I'll wait. Yeah. What? I said I'll wait. But what for? Well, you said you'd only be a few minutes. Well, yeah. And I'd feel easier in my mind if you were somewhere I could keep my eye on you. You're a very impulsive man, Leonard. I might suddenly find myself without a partner. All right, stick around. I'll be down as soon as I can. Mr. Bolland, I'm glad you're back, sir. That's my grips downstairs. I've got to beat it again. But Mr. Bolland, you... Where's Mrs. Bolland? Is she in? Yes, sir. She's with the doctor, sir. The doctor? What happened? Well, you see, sir, she... Good afternoon, Mr. Bolland. Oh, Doctor, what's the matter? How is she? She's quite all right, really. She's resting very nice. She's dying. She's dying. I know it. She's dying. It's just shock. Yeah, but what's... What happened? Well, it's really so technical. I'd rather you've got the explanation from these two gentlemen. Mr. Kurtfelder. Good afternoon. Well, what is it? Asked Jeffy. He knows. Who's Jeffy? Jeffy, that's me. Who are you? I'm an artist's personal representative. He's a booking agent. Oh, I see. Go on. Well, I get her a terrific deal, see? A week at the Cathedral Movie Theatre at 7.50. So, we give her a terrific build-up, see? Social Registration Making Personal Appearance. So, we got a terrific house this afternoon. Go on. So, they give her the bird. What? The bird. It was terrific. You mean that they bought my wife's things? It was murder. They don't like that society build-up, I guess. And she ain't even through the first chorus, and boom, they give it over. I beg her not to do it. I beg him not to ask her. She is not ready, and I know it. At 7.50 a week, anybody is ready. Well, I'm sorry, Mr. Jeffy, but I've got to smack somebody. Hey, hey, let go. Take it easy, Mr. Ballard. Stand back. Listen, your wife's been asking for you. Oh, she has? I advise you to go in and see her. No. Okay. I'm sorry, Mr. Jeffy. Hello, darling. Hello, Leonard. Oh, my poor darling. Go ahead. My chin's out. Take a sock at me. You little dope, why didn't you tell me? It was going to be a surprise. It was. Anyway, the truth's out at last. What do you mean? I'm no good. Oh, now listen, how can you say that? A Monday matinee in the movie house? Oh, I guessed it, dear. I wasn't kidding myself much, but I couldn't give in. I just couldn't. After what I'd said, movie house, opera house, Carnegie Hall, it'd all be the same. I've just been a headache to everybody. Oh, you're crazy. You've got everything. I know everything but what it takes. Well, for me, you've got everything. But you knew, didn't you? You knew I was no good. How would I know? You knew all the time. Oh, I've been rotten to you, Leonard, all because you opposed my so-called career. I didn't oppose it. No, but you didn't believe in it. That's what made me so stubborn. You were willing to let me do whatever I wanted to do, but you wouldn't believe I could sing. Well, I was crazy. No, you were right. Oh, but it's all over now. No, I'm through. All the big stars can rest easily again. Lily Pawns, Bladder Swarther, Cecile Carver. What? Cecile Carver, she's a singer. Oh, yes, I know. Don't you want to go to sleep, dear? Oh, no, I could stay like this forever. But I am going to sleep, so I'll feel like going to Mother's party tonight. No, listen, you're not going to feel like going to any party. I've got to. It's for me. Mother's invited everybody in the world, who knows them or not, to celebrate my triumph. Oh, I can't let them think I'm dying of grief. Well, I'll let you sleep. Oh, no, don't go away. Stay here. Let me sleep in your arms. Oh, darling. Big party and famous people. You know who Mother's even asked? No, dear. Who? Cecile Carver. I'm not exaggerating. They burned me. This is Cecile Carver. How do you do? Oh, how do you do? We've met before, haven't we? Yeah, have we? Oh, I'm disappointed. I was so sure you wouldn't forget. Oh, I'm around. I mean, I get around. There's so many people you know. Mrs. Borland, was he properly sympathetic about your debut? Oh, yes. Oh, yes. I'm sorry, Mother, but it's no use. The papers had the story. I shouldn't let it bother me, Mrs. Borland. Don't you think you ought to... And this is Mr. Borland, Mrs. Cecile Carver. How do you do, Mr. Borland? How do you do? We've met before, haven't we? How about your debut? Oh, yes. More than I deserve. He seems very understanding. Come along, my dear. No need wasting time on Leonard. See you later, Mr. Borland. What on earth was she talking about? She must be nuts. Well, I... I think I'll catch me a quick one. Excuse me, darling. Come on, come on. Oh, Leonard. Now, listen. I asked you not to come here. I asked you particularly... And I asked you to be in New York tonight for the recital. Why didn't you come? I told you. She needs me. She needed you. What about me? Don't. I suppose you told her the whole story. And now you're backing out on me, is that it? No, I didn't tell her anything. Why not? What was there to be afraid of? Just two singers, weren't we? Together, professionally, that's all. She'd have understood, wouldn't she? Well, I'm not so sure. Well, Leonard, surely you don't mean she doesn't trust you? No, listen, Cecile. There she is. Oh, Miss Carver, I was afraid you'd run away. Leonard, I thought you went for a drink. Well, I did. But you see, I'm not thirsty. Oh, please. We just wanted to know if you wouldn't sing for us, Miss Carver. Well, of course I would. Of course. Don't you think you ought to leave? Why, dear? Just as I'm going to sing, Mr. Borland, don't you care for singing? Oh, I'm afraid he doesn't. He couldn't now. No, no. Not Leonard. The village loony, no. Oh, no more if he ever did. I'm not sure I understand what you mean. Oh, I only mean after what the poor man's just been through, I could understand if he never wanted to hear a singer again. No, you lied to me, Leonard. Lied? I did not. You lied. You told me you told her nothing. I don't quite understand. Wait a minute. I think I do. No, no, no. Now listen to us. Pittsburgh, Cincinnati, Washington, Baltimore, Philadelphia. No, listen, listen. I'll tell you about it. Don't give me that fully story again about business. I've followed her. Followed her whole career for years. I know everything she's done. She's been singing in those places, and you... Mrs. Borland, I'm sure I've never met a thing to your husband. Miss Carver, I don't believe you. Listen, I saw quite a lot of each other. That's true. We could hardly help that since we were singing together. You were doing what? Singing. You understand English? Oh, the picture's perfect. Leonard's singing Leonard of all people. No, don't. Please. Then maybe he'll sing now if that's true. Something he's saying with Miss Carver. Why don't you, Leonard? Yeah, why not? Sure, I'll sing to you. I'll sing you a bow leg. Oh! Come over here. Come here. Look at that mirror. That big one on the wall. We'll watch it. Keep your eye on the mirror, mind. Hold your breath. Now, hooses, I can't sing. Doris, turn on the light. Are you in bed? No, I can't see. Doris, listen. Oh, my head. I'll show you. Okay, you hit me with a lamp. I'll hit you with this and that. No, Doris, cut it out. Shame me. Will you make a fool out of me? No, no, stop. Listen, I'm getting mad. Let go of me. Put on the light. Go away. Please, listen. No, please, don't make me choke you. No, murder you. All right, there. You little cat. This is a pretty welcome, I must say. Get out. Don't worry. I will. Get out and stay out. I never want to see you again as long as you're alive. You won't, sweetheart. This time I'm through. I've taken all I'm going to take. Jumping on me in the dark. And it isn't because I couldn't explain the whole thing either. I just don't want to. You just nothing but it. Get out, I tell you. Get out. All right, all right. Put down that lamp. We pause now for station identification. This is the Columbia broadcasting system. In just a moment, Mr. DeMille will present our stars, George Brent, Priscilla Lane and Gail Patrick in Act 3 of Wife, Husband and Friend. Young Mr. and Mrs. Bill Taylor are stepping out tonight. All dressed up and looking very festive. What's this? Something seems to be wrong. Wait a minute, Bill. Let me fix your tie. It's all twisted. Now, Bill, don't stare at my hands like that. It makes you cross-eyed. Besides, I can't help the way my hands look. It's washing dishes for you every day that makes them all rough and red like that. Ah, but that's where young Mrs. Bill is wrong. It isn't the dish washing that's making her hands so rough and unattractive. It's that harsh soap she's using in her dish pan. And that's something she can help very easily. She can change to new quick lucks because lucks doesn't give hands rough, red dish pan love. We know that's so because hundreds of women have proved it in actual tests. Tests made by a well-known scientific laboratory under conditions similar to home dish washing. And these impartial tests of lucks flakes against four other popular dish washing soaps proved new quick lucks, kindest of all to hands. Proved that with new quick lucks in the dish pan, hands stay soft and smooth and white the way you want them to be. Now, if young Mrs. Bill would do that one thing, just switch from harsh soap to new quick lucks for dishes, that little scene you heard a moment ago would probably go like this. Wait a minute, dear. Let me fix your tie. It's all twisted. Now, Bill, how do you expect me to fix it when you hold my hands like that? I don't. I'd much rather hold your hands. They're so pretty and soft, darling. I love them. Words like that are music to any woman's ears. And soft, smooth, feminine hands inspire them. So, don't let a harsh wash-day soap give your hands that ugly dish pan look. Change to gentle, new quick lucks. It's fast, thrifty, and it leaves your hands so lovely in spite of dish washing. Buy the thrifty big box of lucks flakes tomorrow and start using it for your dishes right away. Now, Mr. DeMille returns to the microphone. Curtain rises on the third act of wife, husband, and friend. Locked out of his apartment, Leonard has renounced the world for the privacy of a hotel room and several cases of champagne. At the end of a week, Major Blair finds him looking very much the worse for wear. Briefly, Leonard is blurry-eyed. Leonard, my boy, you must pull yourself together. You mustn't let yourself go to pieces this way. Look at me. In 30 years of marriage life, life in 30 mirrors of marriage. I'll have some more champagne, Major. No, thanks, no thanks. In 30 years of married life, I never lost a battle. Major, have you seen Doris? No, not since Tuesday. She's gone to Bermuda. Bermuda? What do I care? That's a spirit, my boy. Come in, come in. Oh, here you are. Did you bring that ice? I'm not the bell boy, Mr. Balland. I'm the manager. Oh, hello. It's about this check, Mr. Balland. What check? It came back. It's no good. You remember about it, don't you? Of course I remember about it. Who wrote it? But you did, sir. Oh, let me see it. Yeah, it's my handwriting, all right. What about it? Yeah, it's Mark. No funds, Mr. Balland. It's what they call rubber. We've got to do something about it. Oh, certainly. How much do I owe you? $186.10. All right, I'll take care of it. And I'll have to ask you not to try to leave the room until it's all set. Okay, okay. I'm sorry, Mr. Balland. So am I. Leonard, my boy, let me take care of it. Thanks, but you know something, Major? I'm broke. That's all? Yeah. No business. I leave my chicken coop to build. What are you going to do? Well, there's only one thing. I've still got my beautiful voice. Oh. Such a way to make a living. Yeah. You know what they want me to do? Sing in the opera with Cecil Carver. No. Are you going to? We've got to. Oh. Hello. Get me Maine 54636. Who's that? Mr. Roselli, opera man. Oh, this is a terrible thing you're doing, my boy. Terrible. Yeah, I know, I know. Oh, hello, Roselli. This is Balland, the singer. Is that offer still good? Don't do it, my boy. Uh-huh. Well, I'm all set. When do we open? Huh? Sure, my voice is still okay. I gave a blast on it this morning, and 40 hogs ran out on 22nd Street. Say, how much do I get? 500? Okay, it's a deal. Thank you. Well, Major, can you picture me in the opera? Yes, I can, my boy, but the picture is revolting. Leonard Borland, New York contractor, crashes opera. From bricklayer to opera, Borland's career. Borland debuts with Carver. Well, that ought to be fun. I can't get over your coming all the way back from Bermuda just for this. I'd come back from China to see Leonard wearing a wig and a sword. But suppose he's good? Don't even suggest it. I'm afraid Mr. Borland will find opera a little different. It's one thing just to stand up and sing. It's another, quite another, to act and sing at the same time. I'm going to be there on opening night in the front row, and I hope his tights rip. Who is it? Come in. Leonard, are you ready? The curtain's in 10 minutes. Oh, Cecile, look at this beard. Just look at it. Don't pull it. Don't pull it. It's all right. You look fine. I'm fine. I look like Brassputin. Oh, Cecile, I don't know about this. What do you mean? Well, I mean, I don't mind getting out on the stage in my own pants and singing, but this tights thing, I'm scared. Oh, Leonard, everybody's scared opening night. But remember this. You're here because I have faith in you. I believe in you. You understand? Yeah, but all this spinach in my face... You're not going to let me down, are you? This is all so important to me, the most important thing in the world, and you're going to remember that, aren't you? Well, I guess so, but I wish I had pants on. Oh, forget about the pants. Is your voice up? Huh? Has your voice come up? No, not my voice. Well, try it. Whoa! It feels like it's stuck somewhere. Try it again. Oh! What's the matter? I don't know. I think it's the beard. It gets in the way or something. Don't be silly. The beard has nothing to do with it. Oh, what's a seal? Now, don't worry. When you step out on the stage, it'll be there. What'll be there? Your voice. Now, remember. Make your entrance quickly. Come right to my side and be careful of that tree. You knocked it down twice yesterday at rehearsal. I'll watch it. Leonard, look at me. You're going to be all right. You are, aren't you? Oh, yeah. If I only had a pair of pants on... Cue. What? Cue, go on. Get out there. I can't move. I think I'm going to faint. I can't think now. Get out there. Don't push. Don't push. You fool. I told you to look out for that tree. Sing. Sing. I can't. You've got to sing. Do you hear me? Oh, I'm fainting. You're not. You're not painting. Here I go. Look. Stand up. Stand up. You can't sing at all. I'm a tear making a fool of you. I tell you, go back on that stage. Oh, no. Not me. But it's my show, you thick ape. It's my show and you're ruining it. You can't do that. Now, let me alone. You yellow. Bet your bottom dollar I'm yellow. Let go. Get out. Get out of my sight. Get out. Get out. Doris, something terrible has happened to me. Don't tell me. I was out there. I saw it. I couldn't even croak. Oh, you poor lamb. Get that silly wig off. I could have killed them here. Get out of those boots. Oh, it doesn't matter, sweet. I guess you and I were just not singers. We sing, I suppose, but we're not singers. Oh, wait a minute, Doris. Is that on the level? Really? Darling, I love you. Never in my life did I love you more than when you knocked over that tree. That must have been a loser. All I could think was, heaven help me. I'm married to one of the Ritz brothers. Hey, Ellen. Hello, Mike. Say, listen, fella. Sit down. Sit down. We're celebrating. You mean it was a success? Oh, Mike, weren't you there? Doris, I didn't have the heart. Oh, brother, I busted that opera wide open. No kid. I smeared that opera from here to breakfast. That was the flop of the century. Oh, boy, that's great. I knew my boy could do it. One performance ballin', that's me. OK, OK, but now listen. In one hour from now, there's a train leaving Penn Station for Miami. And if we're on it, we've got a job. It's a racetrack, a million dollar plan. Can you make it? Can we make it? Miami, here we come. Oh, get those tights off. Oh, boy. Make it snappy, driver. OK, bottom, doing my best. Oh, it's perfect. It's perfect. Hey, I had to get my right arm to get a load of you wrestling with that tree. Leonard, you croaked. I couldn't get out of note. I tried so hard and all that came out was this. Coming back to me. That window, buddy, will cost you eight bucks. Our stars will return to the microphone for a curtain call. Now, Sally, I have something here I'd like you to read. Hmm, let's see. Fashion note for spring. Most petticoats are now made with a band rather than a yoke. And the full ruffles, which extended up the back to give the effect of a bustle, are not often used. Pacings in which steels are run to be removed when laundry replaced these ruffles. Mr. Royk, a fashion note for spring. Well, maybe I forgot to say that it was the spring of 1888. Well, you certainly had me worried for a minute. A petticoat with steels in it, imagine. And that word, laundry. Sounds like hard work. Rub a dub in the laundry tub. Well, that's gone the way of petticoats with steels in them. No more cake soap rubbing for us now that we have... New quick-lux flakes. Yes, today's filmy silk, rayon, and nylon fabrics need gentle care. And new quick-lux is wonderfully gentle. Safe for everything, safe in water alone. And no rubbing, no harmful alkali into the colors of fabric. And it's so fast, too, Mr. Royk. We can freshen lingerie in no time with those lovely rich-lux suds. They just float away soil and perspiration, leave things fresh as a daisy. It takes no time at all to lux on these every day. So, along with the vanishing bustles on petticoats, the bustle and hustle of old-fashioned wash days has vanished, thanks to new quick-lux. Here's a thrift dip, too. In water of average hardness, the generous big-box of lux flakes will do under things daily for at least two months. That's a mighty, thrifty way to protect daintiness and keep nice things new-looking longer. Now, here's Mr. DeMille with our stars. The curtain has fallen on wife, husband, and friend. But George Brent Priscilla Lane and Gail Patrick are coming back to our microphone now. And we say, bravo to all three of them. Thank you, Mr. DeMille. It was grand being here again. I second that. In fact, it was a unique experience for me. Well, what do you mean, George? You've been here a lot. Yes, Gail, but TV usually casts me in those plays where there are two men and one girl. But tonight, well, you'll see how it is. Well, don't let it go to your head, George. This was a comedy. Say, what's this wild story about you going to Honolulu in a sailboat? Nothing wild about it, Priscilla. I hope to get away from work long enough to enter the yacht race from San Pedro to Hawaii. It starts the 4th of July. And when do you expect to get there? I guess that depends on the wind more than it does on George. I certainly envy him. We'll miss his schooner in the harbor. Well, tell us about this boat, George. Well, it's an 86 footer. I call it a South Wind. She carries a crew of 14. Right now, the skipper is burning the midnight oil studying navigation. I feel a little doubtful about you out there in the middle of the Pacific Ocean with the book of instructions in one hand and the steering wheel in the other. Steering wheel? I get to feel, Mr. DeMille, shut her from here, Gail. On a schooner, it's the helm. What about giving me a few lessons on DCB? Name the day, George. We'll go down to the harbor. And I'll give you a little practice race with my schooner, the Seaward. Fine. I'll take you up on that. And what's the show for next week, CB? Next week, George, the Lux Radio Theatre presents an Academy Award winner. The play is Kitty Foil. And our star is Ginger Rogers. Hollywood itself by a majority of all the actors, directors and producers voted Ginger Rogers' performance in this RKO picture. The finest by an actress during the past year. Next Monday night, she'll play Kitty Foil for the first time on the air. And with Ginger in this great emotional drama, we'll have both the leading men from the screen cast. Dennis Morgan and James Craig. It was really a great picture, Mr. DeMille. And for me, it'll be one of the big events of the radio season. Good night. Good night. Good night. You three make a perfect family. And fair wins for the opera, George. And now, ladies and gentlemen, we send you all our very heartiest greetings to the campfire girls of St. Paul, Minnesota, who are indeed good friends of ours. They've just made a survey of 10,000 high school students in St. Paul and discovered that the Lux Radio Theatre is the favorite radio program in the city's high schools. And that's good news at anybody's campfire. Our sponsors, the makers of Lux Flakes, join me in inviting you to be with us again next Monday night when the Lux Radio Theatre presents Ginger Rogers in Kitty Foil with Dennis Morgan and James Craig. This is Cecil B. DeMille saying good night to you from Hollywood. George Brent in Priscilla Lane appeared tonight through the courtesy of Warner Brothers Studio. George Brent is currently seen in the Warner Brothers production, The Great Lie. The Great Lie has just finished the picture, Love Crazy, at Metro Golden Mayor. Included in tonight's play were Verna Felton as Mrs. Blair, Hans Conreed as Hugo, Gail Gordon as Craig, and Abe Reynolds, Thomas Mills, Edward Maher, Stanley Ferrar and Hal K Dawson. Our music is directed by Lois Silvers and your announcer has been Melville Rueck. This is the Columbia Broadcasting System.