 Nowadays, it's easy to call someone toxic and abusive when they've done something wrong. Some people even use the terms interchangeably. To correct any misconceptions, remember that toxic behavior and abusive behavior are not the same. And not everyone can be labeled outright toxic or abusive without reason. Toxicity Subjective or Objective The reason why people use the word toxic a lot is because, to some degree, it is subjective. Don't we all have something we dislike about someone? And don't we have parts of our personalities that irk others? Every person has a different threshold for what makes them feel drained, or worse, traumatized. But despite its subjectivity, one can argue that there can be objective toxicity, especially if their actions greatly offend and impact the rights of others. Definitions Toxic behavior refers to patterns that harm other people through physical, mental, or emotional means. Although the word toxic is used famously in the context of mental health and psychology, it isn't a psychological term. According to Geoffrey Sherwood of the Oxford English Dictionary, its figurative meaning only started being used in the 20th century. Some examples of toxic behavior are self-centeredness, being judgmental, and backstabbing. Being constantly subjected to these acts can drain you. It may even feel destructive or poisonous, hence the name. On the other hand, abuse is defined by United Nations as physical, sexual, economic, or psychological actions or threats of actions that influence another person. It involves the exertion of power and control over a person, causing significant harm to their safety, well-being, and sense of self. Examples of abusive behavior are coercion, harassment, selfish control over finance, violence, and more. Differences Toxic people tend to have a lack of control or even a lack of awareness over their actions. According to psychologist Perpetua Nio, there is a difference between acting toxic and being toxic. The former refers to unintentionally having toxic tendencies, while the latter deals with actively hurting others, therefore leaning towards abuse. Abusers tend to be more calculated and deliberate in order to obtain control, which is why toxic behavior is not always abusive, but abusive behavior is always toxic. If you found this video helpful, please support our work by leaving a like, comment, and subscribe. So, how do we spot a toxic and abusive person? Manipulation You may think manipulation is a common minor tactic toxic people use, but this is alarmingly already the work of an abuser. Manipulation doesn't just mean lying and diverting attention. There are tons of ways abusers manipulate their victims, sometimes even leading the victims to question their sanity and reality. Abusers may utilize love-bombing, treating their victims like children, even though they aren't, and always acting dissatisfied or disappointed to keep the victim wanting their approval. Monopolizing resources Do they volunteer to be in control over money, food, and other resources? At first glance, it may seem like a sweet responsible gesture until they begin withholding them. This act of selfishness may already seem toxic, but it worsens when the abuser doesn't allow the victim to access funds and seek or receive help, causing them to depend on the abuser to live. Excessive persuasion and deceit According to the National Domestic Violence Hotline, estimates suggest that 13% of women and 6% of men in the United States will experience sexual coercion in their lifetime. Excessive persuasion and deceit may just sound like annoying methods used by scammers in the lake, but abusers are also known to guilt trip, threaten, and make false promises just to get what they want. Addiction Alcoholism, drug abuse, and other types of addictions are undoubtedly toxic. However, abusers with addictions open a whole world of risks to vulnerable victims like children or teens. Brave, physical, emotional, and sexual abuse are only some of the things they can do to cause harm when under the influence. Recognizing signs of abuse is vital for safety. We've attached a list of online resources in the description box for those who need help. If you're a victim of abuse or know someone who is, please immediately tell a family member, close friend, or another person you trust who can monitor and shelter you when needed. You may feel pressured to stay silent and suffer alone, but speaking up can save your life and the lives of others too. You can click on five signs you've been mentally abused to learn more. Thank you for watching, see you next time, and remember, you matter. Are you looking for a cuddly companion that brings positivity and mental wellness to your daily life? 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