 The people-pleasing aspect of the people-pleasing defense mechanism is so heavily ingrained because it's whether it's looking to other people for approval or looking up to other people and Covering over things like not saying something When there's a part of you that knows you should speak something, but you don't want to say it Because you don't want to rock the boat Just kind of want to smooth everything over It's very insidious because it's so subtle and in this culture and many cultures around the world It's heavily reinforced. It's being wonderful. You know like we're raised to be people-pleasers You know to please our parents to please our relatives to please our employer lawyers To please our spouses to please our children, you know, it's like oh, that's good. Please. Please please away and meanwhile People with cancer heart attacks all these underlying subconscious currents of conflict that are not coming to the surface Are eating away or taking away from our full experience of how life can truly be if we would raise those up and actually Like the John Mayer song say what you need to say So I think it for me. That's why we have it as one of our two guidelines We want people to to speak what's going on in their awareness and not try to dance around the issues and You know, it's like the Bible said let your yay be yay and your navy nay When you are so layered with people pleasing It's hard to let your yeses be yes and your no be no You may say yes to many Invitations and requests and then at some point go what have I just agreed to I've just planned my whole week And I'm I just want to rest and I've just said yes. Yes. Yes all these things. Some of you saw the Jim Carrey movie Yes, man where he just He's so no he's so closed down to everything that he goes to a seminar and they tell him to Basically say yes Say yes to everything and he then has to go through a discernment and realize that saying yes to everything Can be people pleasing as well in a reverse kind of a way And we have to learn how to discern and let the spirit give us our yeses and no's So we can feel freed up and comfortable So The people pleasing aspect that the layers come on really really thick and to the point where You know, it just freezes you up It doesn't unlock those unconscious Thoughts of beliefs if you're always just trying to please other people. That's how the ego made this world it literally Packed down all this unconscious guilt and then it peopled the world from this unconscious guilt and when you simply just They try to acknowledge and try to run things on the surface in a smooth way without getting at what's underneath Then you never really come to true healing You may continue pleasing for 20 30 40 50 years Without really coming to a vibrant experience of what truly healing really is if you've never given yourself the opportunity to Start saying here's what I'm feeling like when I grew up in my family growing up We never talked about feelings never never never It's like the family therapist John Bradshaw some of you might have heard of he made that joke one time He's got his family life. You see it was like grab it. There's a feeling loose in the living room You know, it's just you know, there's just off limits You don't you could talk about the weather you could talk about the sports scores. You could talk about Who broke up with who who's dating who and everything but don't talk about the feelings and It may have been spoken in your family's or it may have been just an unspoken Mom and dad never talked about their feelings mom and dad don't even express affection And then, you know, you internalize that it's just reinforced that this is the way relationships are And you don't talk about feelings whereas in the course of miracles Jesus is saying well it's important to acknowledge your feelings because Acknowledge your perceptions and your feelings because they are in rows into what's underneath the feelings Namely your thoughts and your beliefs that if you're not even acknowledging your feelings How are you going to get a touch and acknowledge the thoughts and beliefs that are underneath that? So like for example, when I go around the world when I'm like in South America I will meet people at course groups and I would basically just say come to horse and miracles gathering healing gathering, but when I first went to Argentina, I'd say it was it was about It was up in the upper 90s percent of the people that came to my gatherings were women And then when I went to Columbia, it was yeah, 90 95 percent women And it's just it's not a male female thing This awakening at all, but it's just sexual stereotypes macho the macho man is a as a concept And the macho man is strong and silent And the macho man never shows emotion And the macho man is is going to be on for a slow ride on a spiritual awakening for because of those constructs You know holding in emotions strong and silent like the John Wayne I think it doesn't go over well and when the spirit has can't help you access those deeper realms of what lies beneath what's underneath so oftentimes The women in the course groups would find each other to study the course together because They wanted healing and they they weren't able to do it They would try with their partners, but the partners sometimes would say Don't talk about God Don't talk about spirit. Don't talk about emotions Just clean the floor Or you know, whatever and there was no connection there So they would have to find other women who were similarly Into this you know into going deeper into the emotions and then beyond Down beneath the emotions and that's just how it works. That's how holy relationship develops You you go and you gravitate towards that which will help you Go through this And then when I would they would come to me and they would say are there any Spiritual men on the planet and I'd say oh, I meet lots of them and they get their books out where I want names addresses I will go anywhere You know because they want a sense of relationship, but they want a sense of openness honesty Emotions emotional openness. It's all Very very important Even women who who have left Under extreme economic profession Pressure down there like some of the industrialized nations. It's it's much more of an open uh economy in terms of equal opportunity and so forth so they can Make those choices, but I've seen some very courageous choices of Of women down in South America that were seemingly very dependent On a husband or a partner for Finances, but they just start following holy spirits and the spirits like come on we're going on a journey of awakening And they've had to take some major leaps what the world would call You know to really follow their heart and really open themselves up And eventually when they do it changes their perception of the world and they they draw They draw enlightened or men or they draw healing Witnesses men and women and children Into their awareness as their perception Changes so it's all about releasing the beliefs and changing the perception of the world not about staying locked into these various kind of concepts and roles And and it's beautiful. I really have to say I really enjoyed watching Those take the steps. I mean I can just offer and suggest things I can Give teachings and offer inspiration and everything but everybody's got to actually see it for themselves And and take those steps And it's quite miraculous when they do they just tears of gratitude I one time went to to collie columbia And I spoke with a group of mostly women for two weeks And then at the end of those two weeks with the group of women I said is there anything that's on your heart that you really want to express to me? What's the what's the if you could have anything in the world? What is it that would be most important that's on your heart if you want to speak to me about and the women said We would want a deep connection a deep spiritual connection with our partners More than anything else we can think of we want a deep spiritual connection with our partners. That's what we want And so I said all right. Where are your partners? They weren't there at the time They said well, they're into science and they're into They don't want to hear about god or jesus or holy spirit. They're not they're into like science They're excited about science and they and the women said we don't relate very well So I said, okay, well I happen to have an advanced copy of a movie from the united states Well, what the bleep Do we know This is when it first came out. I was on a television show in california. They gave me an advanced copy. It wasn't even in production yet So I said I've got a very helpful movie I want you to invite all your boyfriends and your husbands To come to a theater. They said, okay, we'll rent the collie columbia zoo has a theater in it We'll we'll use the theater there We'll get all of our boyfriends partners husbands That we really want to have this deep spiritual connection with and we'll invite them to come to see a movie with us They probably come they they enjoy going to movies So they brought them all in there a big theater full of men and women all partnered up in there and Before that too. I said it's not in espanol I said I need an eminent scientist knowing the translation for for this movie was going to take a lot of science terms and quantum and so forth So one of the main organizers of all the women in the course of miracles with many course of miracles groups down there Her husband was an eminent scientist police spirit always gives you whatever you need So he comes in there and he's They put on headsets The couples all put on their headsets the movie to show the movie We got the eminent scientist back in the back room watching the movie and translating Simultaneously for all of the men and women. What the believe do we know in this is how the Holy Spirit works just whatever I seem to need I just it comes there So we watched the movie And the movie ends and I come out on the stage And I start to get some full spirit commentary, but I do it all in quantum I don't do any of it in course of miracles. The women have been with me for two weeks I give the whole talk 20-25 minutes in quantum After the men have seen the movie they've heard the translation simultaneously and they've heard me speak the whole thing in quantum They are lit up. I mean, there's a group of guys there that are lit up Their eyes are sparkling. They're smiling. They're laughing. They're like, yeah. Yeah, yeah Then they turn to their partners and go This is this this is this guy. This is what it's all about. This guy knows what he's talking about I'm telling you this is really and they're all excited and everything and the women are going Claro, claro. Yes. Yes. Yes. We've been with him for two weeks We brought you here to hear him speak it in quantum And so you could see that what we're all about is this love and connection. This is what we want This is what it's all about And this is what we desire more than anything else in our life. It's not important to us and just the looks on these couple's faces is they're like Like it was like Again, the Holy Spirit keeps the content the same By changing the form we simply let the Holy Spirit re-translate through Quantums science terms everything that I've been talking about for two weeks with the women Well, talk about a happy group Boy to be a fly on the wall in the bedrooms That night But all I know is is I just stood there at the door as they were going and I was getting hugged and hugged and hugged from all the macho men and kissed and kissed and kissed by a row of like 30 women because That's what they wanted the most people want Connection people want to feel loved and connected and they and they Sometimes don't have the language because of the the constructs that they've identified with They just don't have the language to connect in that way And yet this was a perfect example about how the Holy Spirit is just there to heal And other times I mean I went to Columbia one time and I showed Jim Carrey's movie eternal sunshine of the spotless mind And again in the context of healing relationships and letting go of old tapes playing and old critical patterns and seeing the huge potential In healing and relationships. There's an enormous potential Of course the miracles I think is one of the the best Spiritual pathways that incorporate the use of relationships as mirroring And reflecting back to you what's going on in your unconscious mind A lot of spiritual pathways are very heavy in contemplation or meditation And involve more of a sense of isolating But the but the course is saying no we can actually do this Through through relationships and it can be a fast track