 Every time you say yes to a new experience, you open yourself up to an opportunity, you get three things. Number one, you get a story to tell your friends about what happened and you learn something about yourself that you previously did not know. And lastly, you get experience points that always transfer to confidence points regardless. What's up everybody and welcome to the show today. We drop great content each and every week and we wanna make sure that you guys get notified and in order to do that, you're gonna have to smash that subscribe button and hit that notification bell. And if you've gotten a lot of value out of this, make sure you give us a like and share our videos with your friends. Let's talk about this third dial. I subtly hinted at it and I know we've had numerous episodes about it. We certainly coach our clients in this exact area. All of this falls flat if we don't have confidence. If we don't have that belief that we can be charismatic, that people do see us in a positive life and we then become authentic and assertive in our communication, right? If we are lacking in confidence, we're holding back that enthusiasm and we're certainly gonna be struggling with presence, right Michael? I wanna point out something that a lot of people get wrong when it comes to confidence. Confidence doesn't mean you don't have fear. Confidence means that you have the trust in yourself to deal with whatever comes your way. So when I go up on stage to give a talk, I know something is going to go wrong. The clicker doesn't work. The microphone stops working. There's someone going wild in the audience. I don't, something is always going wrong. And the question is, do I trust myself to deal with the situation? Do I trust myself that if there is, someone heckling in the background of the audience or someone's phone ringing, distracting everyone, do I trust myself to deal with the situation? And that's where the confidence comes in. So there might still be an element of fear there, but that doesn't have a say in what I'm doing while I'm having my moment. And that's actually at the root of confidence. So from the Latin confidere with trust, this is not necessarily a feeling, confidence is a behavior, trusting yourself and handling whatever comes your way. Michael, I know you're very humble, lots of humility. You've been on thousands of stages as a public speaker and you still know that something's going to go wrong and trust the process anyways. So that's not to say that Michael's some rookie on stage and oh, the clicker's going to go wrong or we've had a one-off presentation. Thousands of stages, tons of public speaking, still trust in yourself that no matter what it is, the slide's not working, the computer plug, chargers fried, the clicker's distracting you, you have trust in your ability to show up to the best authentic assertive version of you in those moments. And that comes also with that, that's why you can't fake that's charisma stuff, right? You need to be out there. Like Johnny was saying earlier, it's like, yeah, bring it on, right? Something goes wrong, like bring it. I'm doing a workshop tomorrow and in my mind I'm already thinking, okay, something's gonna go wrong. Like everything is prepped, everything is prepped and I know that something's going to go wrong. In my mind today, it's like, yeah, bring it on, let's see. Like I'll show you how I deal with it, right? And here's the cool thing. Like if you, if I handle things like that on stage in front of an audience with confidence, like no matter what goes wrong for the audience, there's still this charismatic person up there on stage dealing with a situation. And what they're thinking is like, whoa, you know, there's just like, there was a rhinoceros walking over the stage and his microphone exploded and then, you know, whatever. And this dude was just chilling there and, you know, taking things. Like that's, you can't show that you're confident. Almost until like something kind of has to go wrong for people to see like, whoa, this person is confident. So there's nothing, well, there's, of course, there's something wrong with, you know, things not going right, but in terms of charisma, this is your time to shine as well. I think it's really important to point out that many of us right now listening to the show and our lives are in high stakes situations. Negotiations, interviews, even first dates are high stakes situations where we don't want to be rejected, we don't want to make a fool of ourselves. And unfortunately, we are not practicing showing up in low stakes situations enough to work through that tension and pressure to be able to turn it on in those high stakes moments. And that's really why we love the X Factor Accelerator program because we work together to create low stakes environments for you to practice these exact communication skills in to simulate that self-doubt, that judgment coming up and holding you back from being authentic. And if you put yourself in enough low stakes situations where you push through that fear, that self-doubt, you overcome it in a meaningful way that allows you to show up authentically, you're gonna have confidence going into the high stakes situation. You will have trained that muscle to wrestle with the self-doubt, to defeat the self-doubt and come out the other end, realizing that, hey, I can do this. And that's what I think is so key about coaching and training and working with us or working with any coach for that matter because if you're not putting yourself in situations to practice, to get a feel for what that situation is going to be like in the future, then you are gonna be hit with what ifs. You are gonna be living in the past and not be present. You are not gonna be able to be enthusiastic in a high-stakes situation because these are new feelings for you. These are new situations that all of a sudden you have to start to take in, you have to rationalize. So putting yourself in low stakes situations outside of your comfort zone allow you in those high-stakes situations to really perform. I love confidence and I love gaining confidence and I love putting in the work that allows me to know that no matter what happens in this situation, win, lose, fail, flaw, whatever, that there's confidence to be gained. And even to this day, I'm 47. I've been playing in bands on stage since I was a kid, since, I don't know, 15 years old. I have gone on stage and have sucked for so many times that the idea of going on stage now at 47 is great and do I know that there is a likelihood that the show does not go well? Of course, but confidence that you gain from learning, from failing, from picking yourself back up, dusting yourself off, from knowing and seeing flashes that there is greatness there. It makes it easy for you to put aside all of those failings, all of those learnings to strive for what you know is the good stuff and I love that. And so even for myself now, we were talking about Michael doing a speaking gig, if I was to do a speaking gig and I find speaking gigs more nerve-wracking than them playing on stage because I'm so used to that. However, I will take the opportunity to speak on stage regardless because I don't care if I fail, I don't care if it doesn't go good. That opportunity gives me more confidence for the next one and I'm only getting that by saying yes and saying whatever comes with that yes is okay. And in fact, I'm still gaining and I say this in our programs all the time, you get three things every time that you say yes. Every time you say yes to a new experience, you open yourself up to an opportunity, you get three things. Number one, you get a story. You get a story to tell your friends about what happened and where it went wrong or how it went great, an opportunity to share. You learn something about yourself that you previously did not know and that information is invaluable because you know where you stand, which means you know where you need to go, what the work that you have to put in to move forward and then lastly, you get experience points that always transfer to confidence points regardless. We drop great content each and every week and we wanna make sure that you guys get notified and in order to do that, you're gonna have to smash that subscribe button and hit that notification bell and if you've gotten a lot of value out of this, make sure you give us a like and share our videos with your friends. So Johnny, this is exactly what happened to me with the first talk ever that I gave in Germany. Now, this was a big thing for my family. They came from everywhere. The venue was so packed. I think they had, it was so packed like people were standing all the way in the corridor out through the door. It was a small venue, but anyway, like for, you know, little Michael like doing this first talk ever. Michael, I wanna note that for a lot of people speaking on stage, public speaking is the number one fear that they're gonna have to deal with for a lot of people, for a majority of people. Biggest fear, public speaking. Second biggest fear, death. So yeah, there you go, there you go. So I'm doing this talk, right? It's a 40 minute talk. It's a very personal, it's a very vulnerable talk with this packed audience and I blank. Like I'm 30 minutes into the talk and I completely blank and I didn't track my notes. Like my notes were still on like page one and I'm looking at the audience and everyone's looking back at me. And in my mind I'm like, this is what the entire world is like scared off and I'm in the middle of it. And then I'm looking around like, this is kinda cool. This is kinda cool. And then it came back to me like what the next piece was. And I was like, oh, let me sit in this moment just for one more second. And then I launched back into my talk and at the end of the talk I turned to one of my family members and I said, ooh, I totally blanked but no one realized it. And she looks at me and she goes like, no dude, that was really, really, really obvious that you had totally forgotten everything you wanted to say. And here we go, like freaking cool story which is kind of, it's a cool, fun story that you can tell with enthusiasm. So even there in a moment like that that has so much potential in a conversation as well. Every great success in your life is on top of a mountain of tiny failures. Yes. Every great success is a culmination of you failing in a variety of different ways unlocking that experience to lead to the confidence to take that action to get to success. So I wanna recap, three dials. We busted some myths. It is charisma's nature, nurture. We have influence over it. We can develop it out. It's a confluence of three traits. So now we understand the dials in our life that we need to turn up to be charismatic. We need to be present. We need to show enthusiasm and we need to have confidence. So our challenge for you this week, each and every day, I want you to think about one of those dials and how you can turn it up a notch, how you could be more present in your communication and conversation. How can you show more enthusiasm in your work, in your relationship? And how can you be more authentic and assertive to showcase that confidence to lead to the charisma that we're all chasing? If you're listening to the show, we know you're chasing it. And if you're feeling right now that you're authentic but not assertive or that you struggle to show enthusiasm and people don't respond well to you or it's just so hard you're in your head all the time, presence is fleeting and it's a challenge, I encourage you to take a look at our X Factor Accelerator and become one of our success stories, working through this with other people who are on that same journey in low stakes environments to create the mountain of tiny failures that lead to great success in your life.