 Okay, we are live. What's up, everybody? Drew here, thatanxietyguy.com, back again with Billy from AnxietyUnited.com.co.uk, whatever. How's it going, Bill? I'm good. It's good to be here again. Yep, yep. So we are up to, I guess, the third one in our little Anxiety 101 series. And we're going to be referencing an article that I wrote many years ago. We'll put a link in the video description, regardless of where you're watching, so you can follow along if you want. And this week we are up to what is a tiny little paragraph in my article, but it's probably a pretty key thing. And that is the idea that fear actually feeds this beast. Alright, so we're going to talk all about fear. Last week we talked about danger as it relates to fear, and today we're just going to really get into fear in the fear cycle. Is this an important section? It is an important section. It's a pretty important concept. I feel like we say that all the time, like every concept is important. But this is pretty key, I think. So, what are your thoughts on fear? Well, for me, fear. I've been doing a lot of thinking since we did the last episode. I'm thinking about the danger and the fear. And I mentioned something in the last video where I was thinking what comes first for me. Is it a sensation? Is it a thought? And then where does my state of anxiety stem from? But then I thought about the sensation. I would imagine that everybody gets the sensations that I experience. Like they'll get flutter in their heart, or I don't know, struggle for breath maybe at some point. But the problem stems from the response that I have in my mind when I get that sensation. Because if I'm immersed in something, if I'm playing a video game or watching a film on TV and I get something, 9 times out of 10, it will just go straight over the top of my head. But I think when I'm in that mindset where I'm monitoring my sensations, that's when the problem starts. So it becomes fear. Then the cycle starts. Then 9 times out of 10, again, there'll be something else because of the response I've had. So maybe there's a release of adrenaline, more sensations, more perceived danger. The cycle. Yes, I would tend to agree with that. So we were kind of talking about that before we went live. It's not so much the sensation. And when we say that fear feeds the beast, it's your reaction to what you feel. And I think what you said is really, really important that everybody feels those things. So everybody feels hot or cold. Everybody has a pain in their shoulder. Everybody, sometimes I used to think, even in general, I look around me and think, people all around me are sleep deprived and feeling like crap and maybe a little under the weather and how come they're not freaking out? They might feel crappy too or whatever, but yet I'm losing my mind over every little twinge. So when we say fear feeds the beast, this is where you start to make that cognitive switch or shift from not worrying so much about how fast your heart is going or if you're sweating or if your legs feel like jelly, but how you react to those things. And a self-talk and what starts to happen. And we should probably talk a little bit about, since fear, we're saying fear feeds the beast, we should probably talk about that cycle of fear or like Claire Weeks talks about second fear. I was thinking because for many people that initial, whatever it is that causes the anxiety in the first place, it's so different for many people. I think for me, one of the main triggers would be stress. And I don't know stress about what, just stress in general, but it can also be like nervous fatigue. It could just be, I don't know, Claire Weeks mentions a lot of things like after operations and stuff like that or stress as I say, or guilt or sorrow, all those things that can begin that initial cycle. Well, I think we all have our triggers, right? Everybody has different triggers, but regardless of what it is for you and stress is stress for me now, stress, sleep deprivation, more susceptible, right? But regardless of what the trigger is, it's once you've experienced that trigger and you have that reaction to it, how does the fear cycle actually start? There's always that first, and I think it starts with that first initial, like, oh my God, or oh crap, or here it is, or uh-oh. And then from there, we know how it can just start the cycle that starts to build. Well, that's it. You have that, whether it's a sensation that starts you off, or it's the first thing that you notice, maybe. But then it is, it is just purely a cycle. Once you're in that cycle and you've either had the thought or the sensation, and then you react to it, and then obviously that creates more anxiety, which then creates more sensations, which then creates more. And you just get stuck in that until you can learn to accept what we were talking about last week, and that's that you are in no danger. These sensations are harmless, and I think that's the part that so many people get wrapped up in. They have this and then they question, well, how can I be okay if I'm experiencing this sensation or this sensation? But if you have been diagnosed with anxiety and that's what's causing it, then you are in no danger. We're back there. Yes. And I think that's a pretty important point if you've been diagnosed with anxiety. And I think some people, they don't, you know, maybe they haven't sought that diagnosis, they haven't gotten it. But I always feel like even if you haven't been officially diagnosed with an anxiety disorder, after this happens 50 or 60 times to you, at what point? At what point is the rational part of your brain to begin to whole sway in some way? That says, well, this is obviously not heart attack number 65. Yeah. That's a very good point. Yeah. And you're right. So regardless of what the trigger is, and it's that initial flash. So I can relate a couple of days ago, I was out and it's funny, I had to put gas in my car, petrol. So I had to put gas in my car and I was pumping the gas. And suddenly I realized like I'm feeling a little depersonalized. I suddenly noticed that I was feeling that way. Yeah. And the best way that I can, I think relate that is if I would go back like to when you and I first met, that instantly takes hold, right? Yes. Yes. Now I start to focus on how I feel. Well, the gas pump doesn't seem real. I can't, I'm not sure that I'm really feeling the gas pump in my hand. And that looks weird and I don't feel like myself. And I begin to think about and really turn my focus inward on every sensation and every thought and start to have an inner dialogue with myself. So I think the fear cycle really starts when you react to that sensation. For me at that moment, it was that slightly derealized feeling. Yeah. And to me, I know success comes from me when I noticed it. And at this point, I can say, okay, I noticed it. Now let's just move on to something else. So I still have that thought that initial thought still comes. I just don't answer it. So I don't know. I think so talking about the fear cycle, the fear cycle really is fueled by to me having that inner dialogue with yourself. Yeah, I think I would agree with that. You have those negative thoughts and then when you start to answer them, that's what's carried away. And a lot of people will try and maybe they'll have the sensation and they'll just try and dismiss it. Whereas I think what you've just said is the perfect solution is don't just try and dismiss the fact that it's happening. Right, it's happening. Acknowledge it. Yeah, yeah, acknowledge it and just say to yourself, this is happening right now, but I'm in no real danger. This isn't anything more than a normal sensation or whatever. Or even if it's a flashing thought, it's that next stage. Just don't get caught up in this icon. Yeah, because once that thought pops into my head, I still have the thought and I'm just trying to really break it down. Like what actually happens in the situation. So it's scary. It's a little bit frightening. So it's like, oh, this is scary. Okay, I could acknowledge it as this is an unpleasant feeling. This is what's happening right now. But there's no more judgment attached to it as saying, hey, the sky is blue or it's raining. It just is. There's no good. There's no bad. There's no anything. And that's where you start. That's where you break the fear cycle. So the initial flash of fear might be there. But if you don't, I just keep talking about inner dialogue. If you stop, don't answer yourself. That's it. Don't add the what ifs. What if this happens now? What if that happens next? Or I think it's okay even to have that thought, you know, because it's hard to stop them. Like, well, I can still let that thought come into my head. I'm just not going to answer it. I'm not going to start to discuss it with myself. I'm just going to let the thought come in and go. Because I think what goes on in our heads is really what fuels the cycle. It just makes it worse and worse. Yeah. Maybe we should talk a little bit about, I'm not going to say it's irrational because in the end, there's always a little bit of rationality in the fear. Do you have you ever been in that situation where your reaction, you start to have that inner dialogue, you follow down the fear train or go down that road in your head and you convince yourself like this must be the one in a million time that something is really wrong. Is that ever been a thing for you? I don't really know, to be honest. I think maybe the panic attacks that I've had, that's probably the only times that it has when it's developed into a full blown panic. But what I notice with myself is like, if I speak to my wife or anybody like that, I'll always say I've had a bad day. But for me, I think the anxiety that I have with the fear response or anything, it only ever lasts for, I don't know, hour tops, I would say. I never touch wood, have a bad day where the whole day is just fueled with anxiety and it's fear after fear and sensation after sensation. If I break it down, I think that's why a lot of people tend to keep a journal so you can sort of break the day down into hours if you have to and recognize and realize that you don't have constant anxiety. It's not fear after fear. There are stages in the day where you can have a brief respite, even if it's only one good hour, and then try and focus on that maybe. I don't know. It's never been that. I mean, it's been that intense, but it's never been that constant sort of thing. And I think that makes sense if it actually does get into a full-blown panic attack because maybe you just went too far down that road with the thoughts. That makes sense. I mean, for me, I know that's what used to be for me. Yeah. Once you've had that panic attack, that kind of quashes the fear, then at the end of it, you get that brief moment of... Because you're all out of everything. Right. You're out of chemical. That's it. I think it's run its course. There's that magic moment of when you finally realize, oh, that was stupid. It was just a panic attack. I'm fine. That magic moment of I'm fine, I guess. And I think if we recognize the fact that we're talking about here as a fear cycle, then that fear is really what's feeding this or fueling this. It's not the sensation of your body. It's not the annoying person in a cubicle next to you. Or it's not the fact that you're in a supermarket or in a shopping mall. That's it. The situation is irrelevant. It's irrelevant. It doesn't matter. It's how you react to that situation and the fear you create in your own head. And when you learn to acknowledge that, understand that, and stop the cycle from ever getting started to begin with, then that magic comes fast. Suddenly it happens instantly. And after a while, you'll even notice that it happens because you don't even get to that afraid part or that disturbing part. That's it. You don't need to feel better because you always feel okay. Is this acceptance? It all ties together. The response? A little bit. Accepting that, yes. And part of what I think to tie it into acceptance is, what's happening is happening. When I feel derealized, I just am. It's okay. So as opposed to saying, I need to find a way to make this go away. Or I need to find a way to get to safety. I need to find a way to stop my heavy breathing. I need to do something that's going to stop this from happening. Exactly. I don't need to do anything. And I think when you mentioned talking to your wife, and you may just describe to her, well, you had a bad day. But I think a lot of people, when we use those things, like as a safe person or safe to behavior, and we'll talk about those things down the road, but to illustrate the fact that it's the fear in your head that really fuels this when you have that distraction. Like if your wife walked in and you started a conversation with her, maybe you mentioned I'm not feeling so good right now, but if you get into a conversation with her, suddenly you suddenly don't feel so bad, I bet. Yeah, 100%. And that's the distraction. It's not because your mom or your wife or your boyfriend or girlfriend, husband, dog saved us. It's because they got you out of that, whatever you did, snapping the rubber band or coloring book, whatever got you out of that fear cycle. So, you know, it stops you from manufacturing fear in your own head. Which I suppose, at least being things that we would then consider safety behaviors. Yeah, we can talk about that down the road. We're going to talk about coping. Yeah, yeah. We're just saying which avoid not necessarily helpful. Right. They're not. I mean, they are helpful in so much as they can illustrate what's going on and point out things. But well, I think that might be next week. I'm not sure, but they're not necessarily helpful other than helping you recognize like, oh wait, as soon as I get out of my own head, things started to be better. Which is often the case. I don't think it's worth mentioning, even for people, we may be talking about full blown panic attacks, but even people who will say to me, well, I'm just anxious all the time. Every day, it's just from the time I have my, it's the time I go to bed. It's torturous anxiety all the time. I've said that myself before many a time. Right. And really, again, what's feeling that? You know, because. I think just when you're in the moment, you're so negative and wrapped up and caught up in it, that you just believe that it is that constant, when in reality it's not. Which is dangerous for us to say, because I think a lot of people will be, you have their feathers ruffled. It's like, we're not saying it's all in your head. Like it's real. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's all in your head. Like it was all in my head. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. You can watch videos that I've put on where I say, in fact, there is a video where I question, the only person that suffers with this constantly 24 seven. Sure. Well, the answer is I don't, I don't suffer with it 24 seven. Yeah. Constant. That's huge. That is huge. That's a huge realization. Yeah. So if you're in that situation where you feel like you're just a constant anxious mess all the time, if you start to understand that some of that is being manufactured here, some of it, you know, I mean, yes, you might have pain all day long. It's possible. It's possible your leg hurts all day long. Yeah, pain is not anxiety. Right. Pain neither is a racing heart. Neither is being in a supermarket or having to go to a wedding. That's not anxiety. You know, it's, it's what's going on here that actually generates the anxiety. So again, the bottom line here, fear feeds the beast and we have to learn to recognize that. And then when we learn to recognize that, then we can learn techniques for stopping that. Yes. And we'll get to that. I was just going to make one point about the fear cycle and that is sometimes like with the start of the anxiety and then the sensations, the after effects of the cycle. Right. Sort of when you do come out of it because I felt exhausted after it and that can then sometimes kick off it again because you'll start worrying about, I've got no energy. I'm tired all the time. Sure. And that's something that I've got caught up in quite a few times and then I'll, then I'll spike again and why am I feeling like this? And then I'll start feeling the other sensations and I'm back in the loop. I think recognizing that sometimes after you've been in the cycle, if you can glimpse out of it, then just expect that you will feel, you know, a bit fatigued after it. Yeah. That's true. And when the chemicals are kind of, you know, the adrenaline is doing what it's doing and then it dissipates and it's worth noting you can't have, and I know people will argue, people are going to get mad at this, but nobody has a 24 hour long panic attack. The human body is just simply not capable of getting adrenaline on a constant level for 24 hours straight. It doesn't happen. So you're going to have those ups and downs and I think sometimes what happens is we get exhausted afterwards, like you said, and for some people that exhausted feeling is a trigger. And for some people any change in state is a trigger. So when you go from here to here, it's a trigger. And then when you go from here way down here, it's another trigger. So those waves and again, it's though just accept that those changes in state are going to happen and don't let it get here. Don't start, you know, doing an episode on triggers. Well, probably somewhere in there we'll do an episode. They'll be just four hours. So many. Oh, there are so many. We ask people to like list your triggers. The list gets on fast. Super, you know. But so yeah, so that's what we're talking about here. It's just getting, I think, recognizing it first and foremost. And then we start to talk about how you can, how you can just sort of kind of get past the fear. Not fight it. Yeah, we're slowly getting further into, we've had to know real danger. Yeah. Now we're looking at recognizing what the fear is. Yes. Or recognizing fear. Yep. And then we'll move into. And not the sensations. And I think that goes into something that I've like kind of beat the drum about for a long time, which is not trying to address symptoms. Yes. And we're talking about some of that too. Yeah, yeah. The symptoms are an anxiety. A racing heart is an anxiety. You know, like you said, the pain in your leg is not anxiety. So symptoms seems to be the one key topic that I'll say that we obsess about. People want to know every inch of why they feel the way they do. You know, that's not healthy. I do it myself. Sure, sure. I used to do it. And I think it's pretty common when, you know, like, oh, well, I hate when I feel like this. So what can I do to make that go away? What can I do to slow my heart down? What can I do to make, you know, and then you're just playing whack-a-mole with your symptoms because the symptoms. Yeah, yeah. Right. So we'll feed it. We just said the field feeds it. So yeah, I think do we have anything else? We've been at it for about 18 minutes. No, but we still got a long way to go. We do have a long way to go. Let's see. Next episode. Let me look. We're going to talk about, OK, we're going to talk about coping techniques, which is coping techniques. Yeah, which is pretty big, learning breathing and that sort of stuff next week. So that's going to be helpful coping techniques. Yeah. And I think we're going to talk about coping techniques and avoidance and safety behaviors kind of dovetail a little bit, but we'll talk about learning the difference between them and what the positive ones are and what maybe they're not so positive ones are. Yeah. So stay tuned. We'll be back again. Yeah. This is good. So we'll close like we always do. Billy at AnxietyUnited.com or on just YouTube. YouTube.com slash Anxiety United. Yeah, YouTube. I made 4,000 subs. So thank you. Finally. How many? How many? 5,000. 5,000. All right. Not too shabby. Well, if you're watching on my channel, go subscribe to Billy's for sure. Yeah. Yeah. But if you have questions, you actually answered some comments, you know, so you lied. You said, don't ask me anything. I know. I saw you engaging people. Yeah, so I did. I had some time on my hands. I thought, let's do this. Any, of course, questions and comments are always welcome, whether it's on Billy's channel or my channel or I'm on Twitter and no one tweets at me. No one cares about Twitter, I think. They've changed the layout. A little bit. Facebook.com slash thatanxietyguide or just thatanxietyguide.com. Just send whatever comments and questions you have my way. Yes. We'll incorporate them. At some point, maybe we'll take a break from the article and actually do like a Q&A. Yeah, I was going to say, if anybody has any, because if we're doing coping skills next week. Sure. If you've got any specific coping skills or things that help you. Yeah. Throw them out there. Put them in the comments or on your Facebook or whatever and maybe we'll talk about that. We'll incorporate them. All right, man. Good job as always. That's it. Happy days. We'll see you guys next time. Yes. Good luck. Ta-da.