 When you break up with a narcissist. We often talk about how narcissists discard their victims But what happens when you can't take it anymore? What happens when you get fed up with the name-calling the emotional or even physical abuse? The constant threats and accusations What happens when you decide to break up with a narcissist when you decide to break up with a narcissist? You need to do it very carefully. It will often create more problems. It will often create situations that are difficult to deal with. If you have experienced physical violence from the narcissist in the past and you feel that this may happen again if you try to leave. I highly recommend that you research domestic violence resources in your area. You may need to involve authorities to get a protection order or a restraining order. You need to keep yourself safe and away from any danger or harm. Narcissists do not like it when you break up with them. Because it means that they have lost their source of supply. They have lost their source of attention and admiration. In their minds you are supposed to attend to them and give them whatever they want whenever they want. You are not supposed to think for yourself or try to leave and do your own thing. When you try to break up with a narcissist it will cause a narcissistic injury. A narcissistic injury occurs when their fragile ego gets bruised. It affects their sense of self-esteem and self-importance. It makes them feel like they are under attack as though they are at risk of danger or harm. They cannot deal with criticism. They cannot deal with rejection. They are extremely sensitive. They wear a mask to lure you in and to get you to do what they want. But once you've lifted the veil, that false character fades away. They will only pretend to be nice if they believe that's going to get them what they want. But once you stop validating their false self, it's game over. Then you will see who they really are. The false self isn't real. It lacks any basis or foundation. So any criticism or slight remarks could cause it to collapse. It makes them feel like they are under attack and that is when they will lash out at you. They react to their injury with narcissistic rage. And this can be quite a frightening experience. It will often result in shouting and screaming. It may even involve physical violence. They will slam doors. They will damage your property. They will do whatever it takes to grab your attention and to feel as though they are something significant to you. When you try to break up with a narcissist, they're not just going to let you go without a fight. They're not just going to let you move on and live a happy and fulfilling life without them. But they're sitting at home alone and miserable. Misery loves company. So they're going to do whatever it takes to keep you tied to them. So that you can't just move on or let them go. They will engage in character assassination. They will create a smear campaign and enforce fly monkeys. They will recruit anyone who knew both of you. And tell them terrible things about you where the real are imagined. They recruit flying monkeys to do their dirty work for them. To get you to do what they want. Or to get you to stay in and do more abuse. They will use whatever information they have. Things you might have privately confided in them. They might give half truths. Whatever it takes to get people to make them look like the good person or the victim. If you are going through a divorce with a narcissist, it will rarely be resolved through mediation. It will almost always end up going to court where you will need a lawyer. Divorce in a narcissist can be a very expensive breakup. Most narcissists will engage in unfair tactics. They will be deceitful and deceptive for an unfair advantage. And you are likely to lose a lot in the process. But even though this may pose a risk and a cost to the narcissist. Many of them will not back down. They will be willing to sink your ship. Even drowning themselves in the process. If it means that they can get to you. Narcissists are known to engage in never ending acts of vengeance. They will be committed to destroying your life. They will try to damage your reputation. They will try to put you out of work. They will make false accusations. And this can all be psychologically damaging to you. Which is why if you are planning on breaking up with a narcissist. You need to have a plan. You need to have a procedure that you can follow. In case of an emergency where you have to leave. Keep all of your documents and sentimental objects away from the narcissist. But leave anything that might be considered joint property. Take everything you need. Take all of your money and credit cards. You might want to keep your property in a safe place. With someone you can trust. If you are planning a divorce. You should be talking to a lawyer already. But even if you are not married. It can still be difficult. And you should still have a plan. You should still keep hold of all of your property. When you break up with a narcissist. They are going to be unkind. They are not going to have any compassion for you. Breakups hurt. And hurt people hurt people. Even for normal people. This is true. We all make mistakes. But this is different. Because when the narcissist experiences narcissistic rage. They have a never ending amount of anger. Where it just keeps going on and on. People may normally experience some anger from a breakup. But at some point they will let it go. Narcissists are very sensitive to criticism and rejection. It causes a narcissistic injury. And that is why it is so difficult for them to let it go. If you have broken up with a narcissist. And you have met someone new. It is highly likely that the narcissist will go after them. They will criticize them. They will stalk and harass them. And you may need to involve law enforcement. This could feel really overwhelming for your new partner. And it may be difficult for them to understand in the beginning. You may want to end the relationship. Because you've had enough of the abuse. You've had enough of the yelling. The name calling. The invalidation. But as you are moving on. You may notice that the narcissist moves on very quickly. And even though they may have found someone else. They may still continue attacking you. It depends how much supply they are getting from their new target. If the target keeps them occupied. They may not have any time to attack you. But they are unlikely to lose interest. If there are shared assets. A shared home. Or children. When you are planning to break up with a narcissist. You need to be prepared. Most breakups may take a few weeks. Until they're finally over. And the other person moves on. But when you break up with a narcissist. It can go on for years. Narcissists are very difficult people to deal with. And they could still be hassling you. Even years after you have broken up. Narcissists just cannot deal with any refusal or rejection. They will dedicate the rest of their lives. To trying to destroy you. It will become their new found purpose in life. For my future videos. If you would like to donate. My PayPal link is in the video description. Coaching inquiries. You can email me. At narcisfyvercoaching.com Thank you for watching and I'll talk to you soon.