 Well, hello and welcome to Jonathan from the heart. I'm Jonathan Astley of Jonathan Astley.com And I'm so excited to be shooting this short video for you today. Our topic is going to be around loss Now really quickly if this content resonates with you and you have something you'd like to share that comes from the heart Please post a comment below and you're certainly welcome to ask me questions as well. So we're going to talk about loss today and and Whether and I'm going to talk about loss. For example, you lose a loved one. Maybe you've lost a job maybe you've lost a significant relationship and As I began exploring loss at a deeper level and I'm going to share with you in a moment why I began to recognize that We have an opportunity with loss to shift to love Let me repeat that we have an opportunity when there is a loss to shift to love And that's what I want to talk about with great loss can come great love So if you've been following my work for a while Many of you know that I I talk quite a bit about my son my 19 year old son Who passed away two years ago? His name is connor. That's him right there And his nickname is salty. His nickname is salty Oh gosh, it just occurs to me that this is a father's day video. So I I'm bringing this up also because it's father's day And god, I have so much. I want to say I just realize I'm going to be all over the map So please indulge me as you're listening or watching this because I'm literally I'm actually very anxious right now and The more I'm starting to talk the harder this is becoming because not only did I lose My son two years ago Six months before my son passed away I lost my mom and if you've noticed my pictures I post of there's a picture of my mom with my son connor there's a picture of my mom with my dad when they first got married and Shortly after I lost my mom To cancer. I lost my son to an accident six months later My father who's pictured right there Decided to move back to his home country. He felt like if he's going to spend the remaining days of his life And he was 93 at the time. I mean he's going to be 95 in a few days Um, he wanted to go back to his home country. So I literally lost three sevenths of my blood family In one year. So I understand lost deeply And whether again, I said whether it's a loss of um Someone you love Whether it's the loss of a job which I went through a significant job loss 15 years ago where I lost a quarter million dollar job. I lost my seven figure net worth and I lost a marriage Oh, I forgot we could even look at loss of marriage um all of this loss and then with my mother my my son my my um my father Um, and I've even lost a significant relationship So as I'm reflecting upon all this, why am I Why am I still looking at my life very blessed? What makes my life so blessed? When I've experienced so much loss and I know this is true for many of you You might have like I said lost a loved one. You might have lost a job. You might have lost a marriage You might have lost a significant relationship And in many cases when we experience loss we can get stuck So I want to share with you something when I was at when it was connor's funeral And I was giving the eulogy And I'm looking at his family his friends our family our friends and I'm sitting there sharing Some stories about connor and connor was very unique. I mean it's interesting. Um, that's my other son calling right there By the way, you notice I change the pictures all the time. Uh, by the way, I get these from mixed tiles, uh, com Um, but there was such a contrast between both boys Collin was the steppford child. I mean he graduated college magna cum laude double major You know self-reliant whereas connor was the one kid who beat to his own drummer You know those kind of kids are just they just look at the world differently. Here's a picture of him in his uniqueness and connor It's one of the things I miss most is that he had that special Uniqueness about him his nickname was salty. There was just everything about him was just a little off kilter I'm gonna talk about this in a second because now I recognize one of the reasons why he passed away Is that I met his funeral giving the eulogy And I stopped in the middle as I'm looking at everyone. I said everyone look I'm gonna choose to grieve differently today. I don't want to choose to grieve with pain and suffering I want to choose to grieve with love and I want to lean into love And as I began exploring love at a deeper level, I mean here I lost my son. I lost my mom As I shared before I lost money. I lost a significant relationship um Here, let me talk about that really quickly a significant relationship I was in a relationship with a fantastic woman. Here's a picture of her sherry and I Drop dead gorgeous sweetheart of a gal But our not but and our relationship couldn't go the distance. In fact, as I recognize one of the reasons why I chose that relationship is I was still healing from an unresolved Attachment issue and if you're not familiar with the book attached, you're not familiar with the book attached definitely check it out because We both chose each other because we were healing from our attachment wounds and when we healed it This kind of leans into the love I'm talking about we were able to shift our relationship From being boyfriend and girlfriend to now what we consider each other family and I can't begin to tell you how grateful I am That she was there for me both when my mother passed away and my son passed away We became family with one another and we were able to shift to love because We were able to uncouple in a very conscious way In fact, I'm very honored. Uh, if you're not familiar with Catherine Woodward Thomas She wrote a fantastic book called conscious uncoupling conscious uncoupling five steps to living happily ever after and Sherry and I are in this book because we shared how we uncoupled or a little there's a brief share of how we uncoupled in a healthy way So as I began sharing before I was in the Collins or Connors, excuse me Funeral and I'm leaning into love And I began to explore what does love really mean and as I said that I recognize or I'm recognizing now that A lot of that ability to shift to love during loss was because of the inner work That I had been doing prior to this doing a ton of personal development self-help and spiritual work and if you're not familiar with the book the untethered soul the untethered soul by Michael Singer Oh my god, this book is a game changer. This will change your life This will allow you to shift from being stuck In great loss and begin to open your heart to great love Let me repeat that this book is going to help you shift from being stuck in loss to opening your heart to love And I'm a big proponent of love. I mean if you've been following me. I I occasionally talk about Marianne Williamson Here's her cd return to love. I need to get the book, but I have the cd in my car I listen to it frequently and she Has is a spiritual teacher. She's been doing the teachings of the Course in miracles or here's a book of the course in miracles. In fact It was about a month before Connor passed away I began doing a deep dive into the course of miracles I had been doing well the deeper dive actually a year earlier But we we came up to the subject of death and loss And as I was able to Absorb and by the way the book my Michael singers book talks about as well But as I was able to absorb absorb death and loss in a different way It allowed me to go inward into what does it really mean to love for me? What does it really mean to love? And I was so what I recognize is why I didn't go down the path of Of suffering and pain with Connor is because I've been doing so much work ahead of time And that's my invitation for you to begin doing and if you're already doing it great Personal development self-help and spiritual work. In fact The reason why my book, you know Self what the heck is self-love anyway was birth Was because I recognize that how do we overcome loss? How do we overcome it? It's by injecting ourselves injecting ourselves with a ton of love Just giving ourselves a ton of love on a regular basis And that's my invitation for you and how that looks for you is going to be unique to you It's going to be unique to you but that's my invitation and and the way I've okay. This is my perception I I look at most human beings as suffering on the inside in some way shape or form We're suffering from not feeling good enough not feeling love not feeling likable And everyone talks about in the dating realm you need confidence and you know Men need to be chivalrous and women need to be like ladies and all that kind of stuff And I'm here to say it's really hard to do if you're hurting on the inside And add to that loss Whether it's a child whether it's um your job like I as I shared before I lost a quarter million dollar Your job and I lost all my money in the market and then I lost my significant relationship and everything And I could have went down the rabbit hole of despair And suffering and many of you are feeling that and I get that I've been there I know this and I only share what has helped me overcome Significant loss because guess what we're gonna experience loss in many ways shape or forms Okay, it's gonna happen In fact, it's just a part of life You know, it's father's day And I'm thinking of Connor. I'm thinking of my dad. I'm thinking of my son. I'm thinking of my mom. I'm thinking of everything And I hold on to a space that my loved ones Are here with me right now. They're hugging me right now. In fact, um when Connor passed away I remember walking into my complex And there was a yellow butterfly that flew past me I'm like, wow, I've never seen a yellow butterfly. How cool And then the next morning when I walked out of my complex and by the way, there's beautiful vegetation and a waterfall and pond and everything Right where I live I see this yellow butterfly I'm like, holy cow and then the next day and I live at the top floor of a three story complex and I see a yellow butterfly out my balcony and I like holy shit. That's Connor. That's literally Connor saying hi And then the next day I'm walking out I see a yellow butterfly with a monarch butterfly just playing with each other And I realize that's my mother and my son My mother is taking good care of my son and I'm so grateful for that. Thank you mom Um And by the way, I'm sharing this with you because yesterday I was coming out of the pool where I live and a yellow butterfly popped out in front of me. I'm like, yay Connor saying hi to me We all get signals from our loved ones who have passed away. That's At least my interpretation of life. Maybe you've experienced something along that lines if you have please write it down I'd like to hear how you've experienced a loved one who's in the afterlife that's saying hi to you Please write that down. I want to read it. Um Anyways, I feel like I'm all over the map typically when I shoot my videos I feel like I'm more concise and I'm I'm more aligned and today. I'm just literally all over the map. It's father's day I'm I'm trying to hold it together Um For you all And it's hard because I miss him deeply. We would have gone to benihanas. That was our ritual Um, the boys, um, they oftentimes brought me a cake Oftentimes with a father's day tie or something at least that's the ones that remember they'd always give me a card I'm not going to have those today. Well, thankfully, I'll be spending time with my oldest son and I'm grateful For my oldest son as well He's handled this really beautifully Here's the thing folks Floss is inevitable How we choose to experience it is up to us and my invitation is lean into lean into love Don't listen to those folks that talk about leaning back You want to lean into love? You want to lean into love because it is through love For ourselves and others I repeat that for love for ourselves and others Can we truly experience life in the juicy delicious way? And my invitation for all of you is to find a balance of inner peace in your life And I highly recommend doing personal development self-help and spiritual work And if you're interested in more of that definitely check out my book what the heck is self-love anyway Again and in the back. Oh, by the way, that's the back cover Which my ex-girlfriend's boyfriend or partner I should say took it Of me at their home. This is outside their home And I'm very good friends with David along with sherry Oh, what I was talking about was at the back of the book I list all of the different resources that I've used To do my best to experience life with a sense of inner peace And yet have I experienced loss? Absolutely. And with loss has come a great deal of love And that's my invitation for all of you Wow Happy father's day to those fathers out there happy Oh, let me just one last thing before I wrap up. I want to say one last thing about my ex-wife A great mother a great mother to my boys. In fact, she is the reason why they're great kids Both Connor in heaven and Colin here. She is that reason. So on father's day I'm also honoring the mother of my children. I'm mother. I'm honoring my mother I'm honoring my father and my invitation is please honor those Who are your loved ones out there and today if you can for me Just go out and give someone if you can a big gigantic hug of love It's always my invitation for everyone. All right I'm going to wrap up today Please post a comment below if this resonated with you if you have a story to share about a family member or a Loved one that you now see in the afterlife in a certain way. Please post a comment below If you feel like this resonated with you and you want to talk to a dating relationship coach Check out the links below because that's what I do for a living And I'm going to wrap up this video now as I'm going to be doing in the future Is to love myself Love myself just give myself a big hug and my invitation is for you to do the exact same thing right now Is love yourself and go find someone else to hug because we all need lots of hugs because that Gives us an injection of love everyone. Stay salty wishing you a super duper wonderful day. Thanks so much. Bye. Bye now