 When the narcissist downgrades, when they get involved with a lower grade of supply, a lower quality person or someone who isn't as capable of meeting their needs. This often happens when you have moved on. You're focusing on your healing, focusing on improving your life. But you have become aware that the narcissist has found someone else. Someone who isn't at the same level as you were with them. You wonder, how could they have chosen this person? How could they have downgraded to someone of such a low quality? Someone who isn't capable of meeting their needs. What happens in these situations is due to the narcissist's black or white thinking. Someone has to be good and someone has to be bad. There is no in-between. When they discard you, they see you as being all bad. And that is when they idealise someone else. Because they're looking for someone to replace you. They're looking for someone to replace what you once were to them. They believe that this new source is better than you. Because while they were with you, they changed you. You're not able to give them the same level of fuel as you were given to them in the beginning. They cause so many issues and problems for you. Which has made you lose interest in them. You're no longer validated in their false self for their illusions. But they have no sense of accountability. They don't look at it as though they influenced your behaviour to change. They don't see it as though your changing behaviour is in response to how they have treated you. They see it as though they need to go somewhere else where it looks like they might get a better deal without realising that they are the reason why the situation deteriorated. So they go looking for a new source even though you could have been grade A source of supply. You could have been everything they needed but because of their dysfunctional behaviour they can turn a grade A source into something that feels contempt or intense discussed for them. Their behaviour makes you take a step back. It makes you want things to be different. You might want to take some time to yourself. So now they see it as though you're holding back the time, energy and attention that you would otherwise be given to them. It may even cause a narcissist injury. Where they feel as though they have to find someone else. To get revenge on you and to try and make you feel inadequate as they did once they've found this new source they begin to devalue and discard you. They've made it up in their minds that everything about you is bad and everything about the new source is good even though they may not even know the new source. They might not know anything about them. The new source might be a downgrade. The narcissist needs to idealise something else now that they're seeing you as all bad. They have to think this way to function. It regulates their disorder. Once they've lost something good they have to admire something else. They have to act like they don't see any faults. Even though this new source could be completely useless to them but by admiring this new source it regulates their emotions. It feeds their ego so they put this new source on a pedestal even though they may be nowhere near as good as you were because they don't want to acknowledge anything bad about them. They only want to see the good. They're co-creating this delusional fantasy. When they start to realise what they're dealing with you can often see them becoming very desperate. This is when they will usually try to come back to you. They might make a few hoover attempts but if you continue to keep the door shut on them they will be forced to go back and deal with the new source because they've got to have some type of supply. Anything is better than nothing even though they know they're not as good as you were. They've got to make something out of it but they will always be looking for other sources. They will always be looking for someone to give them what they really need because they're still trying to recover from losing you so they will go from one source to the next trying to find something to replace the supply that you were giving them when they lose that grade A supply they will do whatever it takes to quickly replace it and that is why you will see them going from one source to the next because they are trying to compensate for losing the grade A supply when the narcissist leaves you they really believe that they can find someone who is just as good as you they really think that they can get that bigger, better deal and this is where they often end up downgrading because it's not so easy to find someone to replace you they run into all kinds of dysfunctional people sometimes they get involved with other narcissists borderlines people who have their own problems which then makes them incompatible with the narcissist the narcissist doesn't want to be with people who are not mentally strong they want to be around people who have high thresholds people who can tolerate large amounts of abuse because then they know it's going to be most sustainable they're not going to be able to sustain a relationship with a weak source they need someone who is mentally strong someone who can endure long periods of abuse which is why they specifically target people who they expect to be suitable for this purpose but they don't always get it right sometimes they form a wrong opinion or conclusion about their target they miscalculate and underestimate their capabilities and potential and this is what leaves them to fail more often than they succeed they have very poor judgement they lack the ability to make appropriate decisions so just because they've found someone else it doesn't mean that they're going to move on and be happy with this new person it doesn't work that way for the narcissist when they're not getting good supply they get desperate they become reckless and this is often where you will see them making inappropriate decisions where they often end up downgrading they don't see it initially because they're too busy labelling you as the bad person so they have to see this new source as being ideal but it's only a matter of time until they go looking for someone else or they come running back to you once they see the new source in the same way that you do and then they finally realise what they're dealing with this is what happens when the narcissist downgrades thank you for watching I hope this video resonated with you please like, comment, share and subscribe click the bell icon to receive notifications for my future videos if you like to donate my PayPal link is in the video description coaching enquiries you can email me at nativocouching.com thank you for watching and I'll talk to you soon