 Bismillahirrahmanirrahim, Alhamdulillahirrahmanirrahim, wa salatu wa salamu ala rasulillah. When I moved to a different city, SubhanAllah, I didn't have any new friends, and I had left everyone that I had known since I was a young child. When I moved there, I got the news that my grandfather, may Allah have so much mercy on him, and all of our loved ones who passed away, was very sick, and SubhanAllah, he passed away, may Allah have so much mercy on him. I miss him, and my loved one so much, and I know many of you do, miss the people that you have lost. And when we're going through that type of grief, sometimes we don't know how to reach out to someone and ask for emotional support. And I moved back to my city, I mean I went back to the city that I had just moved to, and a friend of mine who I considered very close, called a few weeks later. I hadn't heard from her when I had just lost my loved one, and I was a little bit hurt that she hadn't called, even though we had known each other for many, many years. SubhanAllah, when she called me, she didn't say anything about my grandpa, and I didn't feel comfortable saying anything about him. May Allah have so much mercy on him and all our loved ones. And so I started to feel a little bit of resentment in addition to the hurt that I already felt. And she said to me, what's going on? I feel like we're strangers. And I shared with her, you didn't even say anything about my grandpa, Rahimahullah. When she heard this, she said to me, you're always so strong. You're just always so strong. I didn't think you needed any emotional support. And that's when I realized that this was a friend of mine who had seen me go through many difficulties throughout college. And I never complained. I never, complain is not the right word. I never shared that with her. I never talked to her about what I was going through. She would tell me what she was going through, but I just didn't tell her why. Because I had kept hearing that the highest level of Eman is the person that doesn't complain. It's the person that doesn't talk to anyone else about their pain. It's the person that only goes to Allah to talk to him about what they are going through. And so because I had heard that so many times, I just didn't talk to my friends about anything that I was going through, thinking that's the highest level of Eman. And what they interpreted that to me, including this friend, was I just didn't need to talk about anything I was going through. I realized that I actually wasn't being vulnerable with my friends. Because I thought the only place I should be vulnerable is with Allah. And that's true. There's a special type of vulnerability with Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. But also Allah created us in communities for a reason. And this is what my friend told me. Allah didn't create us to be by ourselves all alone. He created us to be in communities so that we can support one another. Look at how the Prophet ﷺ would talk to Abu Bakr ﷺ. When Abu Bakr ﷺ saw the Prophet ﷺ praying so hard, so intensely before the Battle of Badr, the Prophet ﷺ was comforted by his friend Abu Bakr ﷺ. He was given hope by his friend Abu Bakr ﷺ. And so even the most righteous of the righteous, they had friendships. And that experience allowed me to realize that maybe I had been isolating myself so much, thinking it was righteousness. But really, I wasn't allowing other people to get to know me. And because of that, I wasn't allowing one of my biggest needs to be met. And that is sisterhood. That is the deep feeling of someone caring about you and calling to see if you're okay after a loved one passes away. Studies have shown that for a stranger to become or an acquaintance to become a friend, it takes 50 hours. For that friendship to deepen, it takes another 40 hours. And for you to become really, really close friends, it takes 200 hours of spending time together. It makes sense. The more that you spend time with someone, the more that you're going to get to know them and the more comfortable that you may feel being able to express your own self to them. Oftentimes when we look at reading the Quran or we look at a sport or we look at a new hobby, we know it's going to take us many hours until we actually reach a place where we feel proficient, where we feel maybe we are not necessarily even an expert, but we know what we're doing. Why are relationships different? Why wouldn't it take work to be able to cultivate that type of relationship that we're seeking in our lives? And as we're navigating this feeling of loneliness in adulthood especially, as we navigate that process when we are going through being students in college or high school and then working or becoming a mother or a father or whatever that may look like or moving to a new city, sometimes it can be really daunting to try to make a new friend. But there are four steps that, inshallah, we can do ourselves to help create that. The very first one is making dua. Ask Allah SWT for Suhba Salihah. This is a dua that we can make in these last ten nights of Ramadan for ourselves, for our loved ones. Allahumma, O Allah, O Ruzukani, bless me, provide me. This is a Rizq. Provide me with Suhba Salihah. Bless me with righteous companions. Bless me with good, solid companions. And many people ask, do these companions need to be Muslim? They do not. It is okay, of course, to be friends with those who are not Muslim. Are these people going to bring you closer to Allah? Are these people going to value your religious commitment? Are they going to honor the boundaries and limits that you place? And can you help teach them about the beauty of Islam as well? So learning to cultivate that relationship first begins with making dua and making the intention that, inshallah, you can also be a blessing in the lives of the people that are around you. Secondly, steady your heart. There may be times where you make plans. I remember this once, a group of friends of mine made a plan to meet. We hadn't met in two or three years. I was so excited. I couldn't wait to meet them. I had planned it. I had asked for help to do certain things. My husband was taking the kids. I couldn't wait to go meet with my friends an hour before we're supposed to meet up. One of them texted and said she didn't finish folding her laundry, so she couldn't come. Another one texted and said she hadn't taken a shower yet, so she wasn't available. Another one said that someone had surprised her out of town. So, okay, that makes sense. I was so hurt that your reasons for not being able to meet after all this time was you haven't folded your laundry or taken a shower. I was so hurt that the next time they said they want to meet up, I disrepute. I was not engaged in this conversation only for my hopes to be dashed again. But you know what happened when I didn't respond? Other people didn't respond either. And that kept happening until finally I asked Allah to help me and I asked for His forgiveness and guidance and Alhamdulillah responded and I said I'm committed to coming no matter what. And Alhamdulillah, other people did too. And Alhamdulillah, we recultivated this friendship that we really, really had missed. Thirdly, do an activity, especially with someone new. Maybe it's axe throwing. Maybe it's bowling. Maybe it's going and doing groceries together. Sometimes the effort of working at the same time helps build that bond, especially particular experiences. Maybe you've been camping or maybe you've been to Umrah. Maybe you've had a very deep connection with someone in a moment of pain or hardship and you have a very particular friendship with that person, even if you don't speak very often, build that relationship by doing work together. And finally, don't forget, put in the time 200 hours for you to build a strong relationship. Invest in a relationship. Make the intention that it's worship and may Allah accept it as worship and help you build that community for yourself and your loved ones.