 Level 5-001-J Classified Item number SCP-001-J Object Class Grade Special Containment Procedures SCP-001-J visits many sites all the time because everyone really likes them. SCP-001-J's main containment chamber is located at Site-322-19-120-17-34-67. He is very popular and moves around a lot. Every site has a place for SCP-001-J to stay. Please feed SCP-001-J many fish and delicious meals to show your appreciation. When he talks, you listen. In the description, SCP-001-J is this really cool harbor seal. SCP-001-J is approximately 90 kilograms in weight and 2 meters in length of pure, unbridled brilliance. His grace shows no signs of fear or sadness or anger, and is very understanding. SCP-001-J really likes to sleep and swim, similar to other members of his species. He's much better than the other ones at sleeping and swimming and looks way better. The SCP Foundation loves and respects SCP-001-J, and he rewards our loyalty every day. Addendum 001-J.1 Discovery Transcript Members Present Command Director Paul Leigh Mobile Task Force 5103 Bark and Bite Members 5103-6 Sycamore 5103-34 Willow Begin Log Command, harbor seems clear. No sign of activity. Possible false alarm? Seems like it. One more sweep and call it after that. Copy. Copy. By Sycamore looks to his left, noticing movement in the water below. 5 Willow leans over the dock. What are we seeing? Manatee or something? I think it's a sea lion. The creature, revealed to be SCP-001-J, rises to the surface. Holy shit! That's a great seal! That's a great fucking seal! SCP-001-J swims over to a nearby rock deposit, and shuffles onto it. We need that goddamn seal. One of you grab it. Dibs! 5 Willow and 5 Sycamore sprint over to the location of SCP-001-J. SCP-001-J begins to bark. The agents immediately halt, then move into a kneeling position. Crying is heard from 5 Sycamore's bead. That… that's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. That's a great seal. Great seal. Boys, I'm in a loss. Maybe we should ask him if he wants to come with us. Oh yeah, good idea. Excuse me, sir, I'm wondering if… SCP-001-J rolls onto its back. No fucking way. Charing and clapping are heard from all feeds. End log. Agents 5 Willow and 5 Sycamore kindly and respectfully asked SCP-001-J to return with them to Site-322. After some discussion among the two parties, including the sharing of personal antidotes and troubles, SCP-001-J agreed to travel with the agents. Addendum 001-J.2 Meeting of the Overseer Council Meeting of the Overseer Council Members present, the Overseer Council Begin log. Got any 4s? Goatfish. 052 punches a table in quick succession. Fuck! Why did you get like this? Because that's bullshit! I know that fucker's lying! The doors of the meeting chamber slams open. Four members of Mobile Task Force Alpha-1, red right hand, enter carrying SCP-001-J on a velvet-lined golden chair. Hey, hey, hey, you can't be doing… The agents place SCP-001-J's chair on the council room table. Bow and exit. Sweet Mother of God. Wow. Wow. Look at that guy. Wow. SCP-001-J barks. Holy shit! Magnificent! A phone begins to ring. 051 answers. Hello? That's a great seal. End log. The cool sound he made. Addendum 001-J.3 Conversation with the Alchemy Department Transcript. Members present. 051. Director Ruslaw Diogolobe. Director of the Alchemy Department. Begin log. Hello? Hey man, how's it going? I'm doing… well? That's good. That's good. I'm just chilling right now. You know how it is. Mm-hmm. What's the reason for this phone call? That great seal you guys had locked up got out. We have it now. The seal got out? You didn't hear about it? I thought you would have all things considered. It got out? Yeah. The magical seal? I mean, I think it's magical. Has an air to it. Huh. Well, where is it? I'll send a picture over. Go fuck yourself. Director Diogolobe abruptly ends the phone call. End log.