 a little difficult to talk about this. There's no drama here. This is like a personal video, but it's also a video where I'm hoping for your guys' help because the only other people that see or hear from me every other day beyond the people that live in this house, you know, my children, my fiance, are you guys either because I have a video every day, live streams, all that jazz, or because I'm active over on Twitter at Ninty Prime and I'm putting out updates about a whole bunch of things, commenting on different things, whether it's about my life or about whatever. I try to keep most of my personal life out of my videos, although I heard some calls from the last video with my children. Also, people would like to see my kids more involved in some videos, and maybe that'll happen down the line as I come up with more video concepts, but really, this isn't about drama. This isn't about whatever, you know, my fiance, I'm breaking up. In fact, we're actually moving forward with wedding plans at this point, so thank you guys. It's been a decade of being with that wonderful woman, and finally, we're moving forward with actual wedding plans, planning to get married at some point in 2022. In fact, we already have our honeymoon book, to quote unquote, booked for next year. A trip to Hawaii should be great, but actually, this year is a big year for me. This year, I have the ability to do something I haven't been able to do in 15, 16, 17 years, however long it's been, and that is be happy with myself. Be happy with my body, I guess I should say. I'm pretty happy with myself. I feel like I'm a pretty awesome guy, love my life, love my children, love my fiance, love everything, love what's happening in college. I just had my semester start up again. I'm already doing well on that. Of course, it's week one, so whatever week one can actually mean, it's good to get off to a good start. But here's my thing. I have been struggling with my weight for quite some time. I originally packed on a bunch of weight back in the day, basically from the ages of 20 through 24. I packed on a lot of weight. I'm talking like 100 plus pounds of weight, maybe more. I didn't weigh myself much back then because I was tired of being looked at in a superficial way. In fact, here's a picture of what I used to look like when I graduated high school. And as you can see, I was a lot skinnier. I was a lot more in shape. I was a four sport athlete. I don't have any pictures of it, but I actually had a six pack underneath that shirt. I was doing great. And I loved myself, at least my body at that time. And the problem I had as I went into college is that a lot of women, because that's what I'm interested in, I'm interested in women. Nothing wrong with other interests or other gender connections and stuff like that. For me, I'm into women and they were just mostly into the body. I didn't like that. They weren't getting to know me. So I packed on a bunch of weight, started eating like crap, started pounding dominoes, pizzas, McDonald's, fast food galore, which I could get away with maybe when I was in high school because I was a four sport athlete. But as I was no longer doing athletics and just choosing to workout or not, I stopped working out and just let my body go. And it led to not even today. This led all the way up into a culmination actually back in 2019. Some of you that were around back then already know what I'm referencing, but for those that don't, I ended up weighing over 300 pounds. I'm only five foot five. So 300 pounds is way beyond what's considered morbidly obese for my height. In fact, morbidly obese is anything like over 200 and I was over 300. I was pushing. I don't think I've ever actually said exactly what I was pushing, but I was at 313.4 pounds at my heaviest when I weighed in after a heart attack in 2019. I had a heart attack around October. I don't remember the exact that you figured I should remember, but I tried to put it behind me. I had a heart attack back in 2019 and October. And it was a huge reality hit because when I stepped on the scale after everything and they took took my weight and all that and I saw it at 313. I hadn't weighed myself in over a year. I realized I'm killing myself. The way I'm living my life, the weight I'm packing on, yes, I can argue the way that I packed on worked. I ended up meeting Yulia, my fiance, who ends up loving me for this. She doesn't. She's not really into the body. I can't blame her. I'm not into it either. But she loved me for me. She still loves me for me. She thinks I'm one of the most amazing people she's ever met and probably the most important person in her life beyond our kids. And that's a special feeling. We have a very special connection that's been built up over a number of years and through a lot of hard times and strife. And the thing is, I wanted to lose weight 10 years ago after we met because at that point, she deserved a better looking me. I deserved it. Hey, I found the person. Why am I still losing weight? But I developed such bad habits that it was really hard for me to kick my food addiction. I would turn to food anytime I was stressed out. I would turn to food anytime I was struggling with anything. I didn't matter what it was. I get a bad score on a test, better order a pizza and down it. I lose at a video game, whether it's Madden or I'm dying in like the Wind Waker HD or whatever I was playing at the time, better eat a pizza, better have tacos, which there's healthy ways to have tacos, not pizza so much. But I wasn't doing it healthy. I was eating like 12 tacos, just pounding them down, that 6 pack and a pound you can get from like Taco John's. I tried 12 pack and a pound for me. I was eating myself to death and it led to heart attack and still today, extremely high blood pressure. So I went on a journey. I'm sure you're looking at me now and you're saying, dude, he doesn't weigh 300. I don't. I went on a journey after that. I had one more small heart attack after that. And I went on a journey to losing weight. And I told myself, I'm not just going to lose weight, right? Anyone can just lose some weight, you know, drop 100 pounds and call it good, which in 2020 I did that. I actually dropped from 313 pounds all the way down to 212. I lost 100 pounds. 101 to be exact. That's amazing, right? I did it through diet changes. I did it through workouts and I wasn't even doing strenuous workouts. I was just going for a walk every day. I was walking two, three on warm summer days, sometimes five miles, a little bit less during the winter, but I was doing a lot of walking. And that walking combined with healthier eating habits led to me dropping a lot of weight. And I am happy with that. You could tell in some of my older videos, how much bigger I mean, you could even go back to me in the beginning of the channel, how much bigger I was than I am now. But I'm going to do something I almost never do on camera and I'm going to turn sideways and I'm going to show you guys what's going on because I am at a critical juncture here of losing weight, where I need your guys' support and I need your guys' not to, I don't need your money. I might look for any of that. Just the moral support. I need you to follow me on Twitter, say things in my comments, hold me accountable because as much as I love the people in this house, I'm mostly responsible for myself. And because of that, I need people to make sure I'm sticking to things here because over the holidays I packed on 24 more pounds and I knew I was going to gain weight during the holidays. I didn't realize it was going to be that drastic and it's time to get back on that journey. I was at 137 pounds yesterday, I'm at 132 or 33 pounds today, and or 100, 237 and 233 pounds. And what I'm going to be doing is from this point forward, I am going to be posting a weigh-in at the very beginning of the day. I'm going to be posting it on Twitter. And then I'm also going to be posting pictures of everything I eat every day, from breakfast to snacks to dinner to lunch. And if it's something I shouldn't have, like you see me take a picture of pizza, I want you screaming at me to put the pizza down. And I want you to hold me accountable. If I skip posting a meal or a snack moving forward, I want you guys to call me out because it probably means I'm cheating. I don't want to cheat. I don't want to fall off the wagon. I want you guys to know every step of the way everything I'm consuming. I want you to know where it comes from. Not that there won't be cheat days like I'll probably have some fried fish every once in a while, but that's okay to have once in a while. But I am going to be trying my best with your guys' encouragement and reminders and even flak when I deserve it to lose weight. I am going on a cruise. I'm going on a cruise this year. It's the first vacation me and my fiance have taken in 10 years together and done anything without the kids. We have gone camping, we've gone to the Dells, but we have never actually gone with her and I outside of the state and did something fun together. And so we're going on a cruise. We planned it last year in the middle of the pandemic, which I know is still going on, because the rates were being massively discounted and it became affordable for us. So we are going in the last week of July. So my goal between then or between now and then is to be back to that weight I was in that picture from high school. And that weight was 145 pounds. That means I need to lose about 3.2 pounds on average per week. There's going to be weeks when you lose more, there's going to be weeks when you lose less, but the average needs to be maintained for me to get there. And I have some extra issues going on because I actually had a hernia from my weight. You guys, you know, I'm going to do something I never done. I never do this because I'm embarrassed by it, but I'm going to turn sideways on camera. So here I am sideways. I'm a big boy, but you see this, this right here, this is from a hernia. Okay. I had a hernia and what happened is some of my internal fat, the really hard fat that protects your organs came out. And when they patched me up, they never took this fat out. I'm actually really mad about it. And they were supposed to take care of it. So, you know, this makes me look fatter than I am, but you can still see by my, my man boobies on down. I'm still a pretty big boy even regardless of that. Now my doctor said, if I lose enough weight, it should get to a point that my body eats this fat and this shrinks as well. But what's going to happen is if it gets to a point where I've lost a lot of weight and this thing's not getting any smaller is I will obviously go back in for surgery and they will surgically remove that. Now this is like five, 10 pounds itself that they'll take. I mean, it's pretty heavy that they will take out, but that might be something that I do towards the end of my journey. For now, I'm back at the beginning and this is me sideways in all of my fatness, glory. I don't want any of this. I'm looking to go from this down to this. You see this, you see this cut down here? That's where I'm looking to be. This is where the sag begins with the belly on up, cutting all of that off in the next year. And it's going to be about 90 to 94 pounds of loss I'm looking to do. It's a lot, but it's not undoable. It's not unfeasible. And with your guys' support, I feel like you guys holding me accountable is going to be better than ever. And you might say, this is embarrassing, Nate. Why are you turning to the internet to help you? And that's because I need you guys to help me. I believe you're posting about my workouts every single day. I am using an app on my phone, which I'm recording with right now, but I use an app on my phone. I'm going to be doing this 30-day fitness app because it's free every single 30 days, just renewing it. It helps me encourage me to eat healthier. It also helps me maintain my workouts, which I'm going to be doing every single night. I want to get back to walking because I stopped walking over the holidays as well. And it's still really cold out. In fact, it's colder out now than it was over the holidays. Welcome to weather in Wisconsin, global warming. I don't know what the hell is going on. But I know that I want you guys to support in this. And if you don't care, you're just here for video game stuff, that's fine. You think this is embarrassing and I shouldn't talk about anything personal, that's fine. This isn't drama. This is me trying to get healthier for me and also me wanting to, you know, for the very first time I've ever gone on a vacation with my fiancé to feel good when I take my shirt off. I want to be able to take my shirt off on the beaches out in the Bahamas and feel good about me as a person and about where I am and what I've achieved and then maintaining the body that I end up with. So I want to thank you guys ahead of time for those that support, those that think I'm a fat fucker and should just keep eating myself to death. That's fine. Think what you want. But I need you guys to support. I already, this is day two, I already admittedly I had a couple of red sticks today, should not have had that. That's why moving forward, I want to post all my food on social media. I want you guys to critique it. I want you guys, you can give me healthy recipes if you want. Remember I have a family to think about as well so when I'm making food I got to think about my children who can have more calories than me by the way. So sometimes I can make calorie rich, like more calorie rich things for them that's smaller for me. You know like maybe I have a chicken salad while they just have a side salad and then they also have a main dish. I can, I'm pretty good at avoiding eating with the kids eat but I need you guys's help in the worst of ways. I think with your encouragement, with your advice, with you holding me accountable, with those weigh-ins, make sure I do those weigh-ins, make sure I'm taking all the pictures of everything I eat, make sure you know I'm drinking enough water. I won't really post, I'm not gonna post every time I fill my water up but you know, thank you guys. Thank you guys ahead of time. This was hard for me. I never, I literally never turn sideways for anyone. When I'm talking to people I always make sure I'm forward. I suck in my gut a little bit. I'll see how like it looks a little better but this is where it's really at. It looks a little bit like I do things to hide how fat I really am but I'm a big boy and it's time that I finished the weight loss journey. I started back in October of 2019 and I finished it off strong this year ready to go for a cruise where I'm the man plus hey I'm sure you guys aren't going to complain about me being a better looking person for YouTube. There's already people that think my face looks good and everything but imagine that you know I get some actual pythons here and you know a more chiseled body. Won't that be cool to look at anyways? Even as a even as a fellow man I admit a lot of the youtubers I watch tend to be in pretty good shape. You'd figure that would inspire me but really doesn't. But I also don't want to die and I also want to be as healthy as I can for as long as I can and I want to feel good about taking my shirt off which I haven't felt in a long time. All right folks thank you guys for tuning in thank you for listening to my little spiel and I'll catch you in the next video.