 J-E-L-L-O! The Jell-O program starring Jack Benny with Mary Livingston and Phil Harris in his orchestra. The orchestra opens the program with, you can't have everything from the picture of the same name. Many folks who live in the country declare that October is their favorite month of the year. I certainly agree with them because it's the month of the most varied colors. No matter where you live, in the country or in the city, the same cheerfulness of October colors can be reflected right in your own dining room with the most colorful dessert in the world, Jell-O. Every one of Jell-O's six delicious flavors has its own beautiful and distinctive color. Strawberry, raspberry, cherry, orange, lemon and lime. They're gay and glowing and appetizing to look at and they have the grandest flavor in the world. Or Jell-O has that extra-rich fruit flavor, so luscious and satisfying. But remember, there's only one Jell-O and only genuine Jell-O brings you that grand extra-rich fruit flavor. So don't accept any substitutes. Look for the big red letters on the box. They spell Jell-O. Ladies and gentlemen, for the second broadcast of the new series, we bring you by popular demand and public acclaim our latest discovery, Jack Whattsis' name. Thank you. Jell-O again, this is Jack Whattsis' name talking. It was just introduced by Don Housis. And Don, that was an awful introduction. You're nothing but an old Whatchamacallit. Well, Jack, I put you at ease. You know, I thought you were pretty nervous last Sunday night on our first broadcast. Well, Don, why not? I mean, after all, I'm the mother of the program. And you know what we have to go through. But I must admit that I was never so frightened in my life. You think I had never faced a microphone? Yes, I noticed it, Jack, and I sympathized with you. Oh, I was a wreck. I shook so much that after the program, I found dandruff in my socks. Yes, and I noticed your hands were shaking, too. What has that done? I said your hands were shaking. Well, they were glad to see each other. But I want to tell you something, Don, and this may sound silly. I was very happy to find out that I could be that nervous. You were? Why? Because it definitely proves my artistry. You know, Don, there's an old saying that unless you're nervous, you're not a true artiste. Well, I agree with you. You know, there's something to that. Now, you take our greatest performers, any one of them. I remember one time at the Metropolitan Opera when Lily Ponds walked out on the stage absolutely trembling with fright. Really? Yes, sir. And when she picked up her violin and started to play... Well, I never... Jack, Jack, what's the matter with you? Lily Ponds is a singer. She doesn't play the violin. She doesn't? No. Well, that shows you how nervous she was. But we're all like that. Now, we're all like that. Now, you take our own business, for instance, radio. Don, come here a minute, will you? Did you ever watch Eddie Cander broadcast? Yes, I have, Jack, and he's very funny. I didn't ask you that. But is he jittery? Did you ever notice his eyes when he works? I'll say it seems like they're going to pop right out of his head. Well, they would if he didn't use glue for an eye wash. I can mention any number of cases. Now, you take Fred Astaire. I'll take Jimzer. Quiet. Now, really, you've seen Fred Astaire in pictures, haven't you, Don? Yes, I have, and his dancing is marvelous. Dancing? Why, that's nothing but a nervous twist. But as I told you, Don, in show business, we're all like that. Well, I was once on a vaudeville bill with a contortionist who used to bite his toenails. Oh, was he nervous? But you know, Don, I feel awfully sorry for Mary last Sunday. She was scared stiff. You said it. Oh, hello, Mary. Hello, Mary. You know, I was telling Don how excited I was last Sunday. Do you notice it, Mary? Why, Jack, you look as cool as a cucumber. I did. And just as green. Well, it's no surprise to me. Gee, you were so upset you were even smoking a cigar. Well, what's unusual about that? You've seen me smoke a cigar before, haven't you? Yes, but not sideways. Oh. Now, I suppose you were perfectly common at ease. I never saw anyone like you. I know it, Jack. Gee, I was so worried and fidgety that I don't even remember kissing Kenny. You don't? Well, how do you know you kissed Kenny? I've been acting like a dope all week. Well, I can understand that. But, Mary, I was wondering about the show. Do you hear any reports on our last week's program? Oh, everybody's talking about it. And I brought a swell write-up from the Hollywood Reporter. Oh, yeah? What does it say? Don't grab it. I'll read it. I'm not grabbing. Go ahead. It says that the Jell-O show returned to the air Sunday night, October 3rd. Mary Livingston was her usual charming self. And the high spot of the evening was her poem about Paris. Hmm. The program itself was spotty and jerky and dull at times. Oh. But Mary Livingston was her usual charming self. What again? Doesn't it say anything about me? Oh, sure, right here. Jack Benny got his laugh by making faces back at the audience. I did not make faces. There was a fly on my nose. Why didn't you brush him off? Say, every listener counts. Is there any more to the write-up, Mary? The program was very entertaining. Well... And although it was a cloudy evening with a slight northeast wind, Mary Livingston was her usual charming self. I know that. See, even the weather doesn't stop you. It's an awful write-up anyway. You think he'd make allowance for my nervousness on the first program. Oh, it wasn't just the program, Jack. You were upset because Abe Lyman came into the studio and threatened you. Why? Because he tried to scare me into hiring his band? That didn't affect me. That guy's nothing but a big bluff. Then why did you stay in the house all week? Because I was sick, that's why. I even had a doctor, didn't I, Mary? Oh, is that so? What was wrong with Jack? The doctor said he had a streak of jaundice down his back. He did not. He said I had a breakdown from strain and worry. I didn't leave the house until Friday. Well, you didn't run into Lyman, did you? No, and I wouldn't have cared if I did. Then why did you wear those great big false whiskers? Because I had a cold on my chest and shut up. Why? What is this, a third degree? Hey, Jack, what's all the excitement? Nothing, Phil, but no one seems to believe me around here, that's all. Gee, it's only natural to be tense on my first show. You were nervous too, weren't you, Phil? What for? I'm no ham. Well, I'm not either, Phil, but gee, I like to do a good job. Don't you want your music good? Don't you want your boys to play well? I wouldn't know it if they did. Well, that's interesting. The sponsors will be glad to hear that. I bet they're not even listening. Fine talk, I must say. When I think of all the orchestra leaders, that would be willing to take your job for almost nothing. What do you think I'm doing? Well, of all the ungrateful things. Let me tell you something, Phil, you talked yourself right out of something. You were in line for a raise. That line hasn't moved in three years. Oh, is that so? That's what you think. You got a raise, didn't you, Mary? I'll say. You see? But I was working in Macy's at the time. And that's for that, you won't get it. Say, Phil, even though you're not interested, I wonder if I can prevail upon you to lead the orchestra through our next musical selection. Okay. Wake up, man! Play, Phil, now I'll sleep. Phil Love from Mr. Dodd Takes the Air, played by Phil Harris and his Sandman and Sommers. They feel, in spite of your attitude, your music does sound much better with those added musicians. Yes, I think so. Of course, I don't care much for that one new man you've got there. He keeps, no, the fellow keeps thumbing his nose at me all the time. Where? Right over there. That's the harmonica player. Oh! Oh, I see. I didn't get that. Oh, yeah. Hey, wait a minute. Where's the harmonica? You can't afford one. Well, I wish you'd hire musicians instead of critics. Believe me. Say, Jack. Yeah? Those three violinists that still add a tone to their music Say, Jack. Yeah? Those three violinists that Phil added certainly improved a lot. They have? Yeah, this week they're using both hands. Oh! Well, anyway, a larger orchestra does help our show. Say, Phil, I forgot to ask you, did you hear any reports on last Sunday's broadcast? Nothing that wouldn't upset you. Well, it won't upset me. I want to know the truth. All right. For one thing, I read in the variety. I read that so don't get smart. Wise guy. Well, say, Jack. What, Don? I've been the radio guide. I brought it along. You did? Yes. You want to hear it? No, but it kills time, anyway. It says that Jack Benny inaugurates his new series of broadcasts last Sunday night, and this reviewer has seldom heard a more novel program. Well, well... The outstanding moment came when Don Wilson stated in a voice vibrant with emotion that Jello was not genuine without the big red letters on the box. The sincerity with which he read that famous slogan was not only believable, but brilliant. Well, it was, Don. It was. It was. When this sterling announcer claimed that Jello had that new extra-rich rice-fruit flavor, he held the audience in the palm of his hand. You could, Don. You could. What else does it say? Bravo to Mr. Wilson. Let us have more of this kind of entertainment. Let's see that, Don. Here you are, Mary. He doesn't say anything about me. Wait a minute. Oh, here's something nice about you, Jack. Oh, yeah? Jack Benny, the star of the program, gave an exceedingly fine performance. As only he can admit. Well, that's more like it, there. Anything else? The studio was jammed, the reception was good, and Mary Livingston was her usual charming self. It's a fine writer. I bet you know every newspaper man in town. Well, it's a small town. Yeah, usual charming self. Now, listen, Jack, did I write those reviews? It wasn't your Aunt Minnie. I'm not too subtle. Say, Jack, are you really heard about those write-ups? No, I'm not. You ought to see what the Walkiegan's son Gazette said about me. Maybe it was a rave. Naturally, it was your hometown. Well, that's just a coincidence. They're very fair in Walkiegan. Oh, go on, they're prejudiced because you're a local boy. They're not prejudiced. In fact, I had an uncle that was hung there. So there. Stop showing off. Yeah. Why don't you read us the write-up, Jack? No, Don. It'll sound conceited. You can take my word for it that it's very good. Oh, I'll bet. Who wrote it? Jack's uncle, and it served him right. Well, let's drop it. You guys think that... Hey, Jack, Jack! What? Get a load of Kenny. Yeah, look at him with a big cigar in his mouth. Cigar? Well, I'll be dog gone. Hello, Kenny. Hiya, men, house things and stuff. Well, I'll be... What do you hear from the mob? Now, look, Kenny, just because we told you you're growing up, you don't have to rush things. Well, I'm in a hurry. Yeah? And another thing, throw away that cigar. It'll make you sick. It will not. It's chocolate. Oh, chocolate. Who's got a match? Kenny, you had me scared there for a minute. You know, your mother told me to keep an eye on you so don't go acting up. You're getting a little too wild for a kid your age. I've got to have my fling, don't I? Fling? Well, you don't even know what a fling is. Well, when I find out, wow! Get that guy. It's all your fault, Mary. You shouldn't have kissed Kenny last week. Well, you told me to. That's right. I did. Gee, he's got to grow up sometime. Yeah. Yeah. And furthermore, Kenny, it wouldn't hurt you to get here on time. Where were you? I stopped off for a slug of root beer. Oh, a slug of root beer, huh? Boy, if I got a hangover. Pardon me, Kenny. I didn't give you the lead there, I'm sorry. Well, pull yourself together, Kenny. It's time for your song. All right. Wait a minute. We'll answer the phone, Mary. Hello? Hello, is this J-E-L-L? It's Andy. Oh, hello, Mary. I want to speak to Buck. Okay, here it is. Say, Buck, I called up to tell you that I can't come down to the program today. I got a call. A call? Yeah, can't you notice it? Not without television, Andy. It's too bad. How did you get it? Well, yesterday morning I started to put on my underwear and I didn't know which foot to put in first. Yeah? And while I was making up my mind, the draft snuck up on me. Well, that's a shame. You ought to take care of it. What you need is a good hot toddy. A hot toddy? Yeah. Well, what do you do? Drink it or go out with me? You're drinking. Well, Andy, as long as you got a cold, you better go right to bed and get some sleep. I can't, Buck. Every time I snooze, I sneeze. All right, just stay in the house and take care of yourself. So long, Andy. So long, Buck. It's you. It's untight. Well, goodbye. Oh, Andy, how did our first program go over at your house? Oh, great, Buck. The chickens are still cackling. Well, that's fine. I'm glad to hear it. You know, the cows like to too. I know, Andy. I got a bottle of milk in my fan maker. Well, goodbye. Say, Buck, when's Kenny going to sing? Right now, Andy. Wait a minute. Don't hang up. Go ahead, sing, Kenny. Now, don't go away, Andy. Kenny's going to do a song, right? And the stars and the moon be music and dancing and war make a moment of love. Gentle and so tender that every little word is like a song. Whispers in the dark. They see when lips and arms surrender and every little kiss is like a dream within a dream. To the trees that dawn is near in the blue. On a night like this, perhaps I'll hear those little whispers in the dark. Whispers in the dark from Otters and Models, a great tune from a great picture. And I've got a picked up option to prove it. Kyle, did you sing that number in the picture, Jack? No, Kenny. I was too busy acting and making love. Wasn't I, Mary? Yes, sir, re. Wait, did you ask me something? Anyway, Kenny, I heard some nice comments on your song last week. Did you hear any reports on our program? Oh, swell, Jack. I saw a great write-up for us in the radio daily. Well, we haven't got time for that. Oh, I got it right here. Oh, what does it say? It says a jello program last Sunday was dynamite, but it failed to go off. Is that so? However, the program was fairly good. Well. And Kenny Baker was Mary Livingston's usual charming self. Now, that's what I call a real tributey. And now, ladies and gentlemen, going from the write-ups to the sublime, we will present the first in a series of highly dramatic offerings entitled High, Wide, Tall, Dark, and Handsome. I will play the part of high. Wilson will be wide. And now, who else? Boy, if we only had a handsome. Quiet. Now, in this play... Oh, pardon me, folks. Come in. Here are the boys and the pigeons. Well, Wilson and Kenny, Mary, oh, my, oh, my, my, my, my. Yup, we're all here. I'm happy to see you. Why, you could knock me down with a cheesecake. Hey, Phil, Phil, I want you to meet an old friend of mine. Schlepp, this is Phil Harris. Glad to know you, Schlepp. The feeling is beneficial. Well, no kidding, Schlepp. It's sure nice to see you again. All the way from New York. How'd you come out? In my trailer. Oh. It only took me eight months. Eight months from New York in a trailer? Why, did you have trouble with your car? What car? I only had a trailer. Oh, well, in that case, it's remarkable. Only eight months. Hey, Jack, with a little luck, I could have made it in seven. Why? What happened? My wife had a puncture. Well, your wife made a trip with you. Imagine making a cross-country trip like that. Eight months. So what do you call your trailer? Schlepperman's magic carpet. Oh, it's a Jim Dendy. I can imagine a trailer. Say, how big is it? Three rooms in a swimming pool. A swimming pool? How could you get a swimming pool in a trailer? I took a swimming pool. How did you get a swimming pool in a trailer? I took out my tennis court. Well, you got it here anyway. Say, Schlepp, did you hear our program last Sunday? Oh, Jackie Boy, it was marvelous. It was simply fascinating. There was only one thing missing. There was? And here I am. Well, I'm glad you like it. What do you think of our new addition, Andy Devine? Oh, he's tantalizing. Well, Schlepp, you must be tired. Sit down and relax, and we'll get together later. All right, honey child, I'd like to be in the chair. Hey, Mary, isn't it good to see Schlepperville again? Yeah, but I wish he'd take that herring out of his hand while he's broadcasting. Well, it's part of his types on it. And now, ladies and gentlemen, we'll continue with our program and offer a new series of... Hello, Jack. Hello. Oh, hello, Lyman. I didn't hear you come in. Watch out, Jack. Here comes Mickey Rath. Just be quiet, Mary. I'll handle this. There's going to be any trouble around here tonight. All right, Abe, what's bothering you now? You promised to talk things over with me during the week, and you never showed up. Now, listen, Abe, I told you last week that Phil Harris and his band were signed up for the season, and that settled it. What about that letter you sent me? That has nothing to do with it. A letter isn't a contract. It is, too. Stay out of this, Kenny. You, I can lick. Now, Abe, I've had enough of this, so get out of here and leave us alone. Oh, yeah? Yeah, I'm not afraid of you. For two cents, I'll throw you out in your ear. Why don't you try it? Because money isn't everything. That'll hold you. Now, look here, Lyman. You heard Jack say that I was signed up for the season, so why don't you scram? One more crack out of you, Phil, and I'll uncurl your hair. Uncurls Phil's hair. I don't think you can do it. Well, I do. Good night, folks. A yellow spine lift. Gentlemen, gentlemen, what seems to be the confusality here? Oh, this guy is trying to bulldoze me. Is that so? And he's feeling chipper, eh? Well, even to me, I'll put him in the place. Slap. Don't hold me. Now, look here, limey boy. You're talking topsy-turvy. In this argument, you're all wrong. Now, listen here, you little punk. I'll punch you right in the nose. All of a sudden, I'm on your side. Why are all my friends little guys? Now, look here, Abe. I don't want to have to appeal to your sympathy. But I've been pretty sick all week, and I've been in bed with a cold. The doctor told me that any little excitement or worry is liable to prove fatal. Gee, Jack, I didn't know that. So put yourself in my position and try to understand. We'll talk this over when I feel better. Well, Jack, I'm sorry. I didn't know you were ill. Oh, I am. See? All right. I'll run along and we'll talk it over later. Okay. I'll straighten it out with you. You better or it won't bother getting well. Oh, it's no bother. Well, thanks a lot. Goodbye, Abe. So long, chiseler. Can you imagine that? I hope he falls down the stairs. And now, folks, wait. Mine must be psyche. Ease, speed, and delicious goodness. There's one dessert that brings you all three. And that dessert is jello. Jello is as easy as can be to prepare, and it will help you get constant interest and variety into your meals. Well, there are six delicious flavors to tempt every appetite. Six lovely, going colors to dress your table. You can serve it in any number of attractive ways, or you'll find a group of recipe suggestions, different recipes on different packages. For instance, try orange glaze, a cheerful dessert to match these cheerful autumn days. It's made with shimmering orange jello and the sections of fresh oranges. It's prepared in the jiffy, and it looks delightful, and it tastes swell. There are other inviting recipes on every box of jello, and you'll want to try them all. Just be sure you get genuine jello, for only jello brings you that delicious, extra-rich fruit flavor. So ask your grocer for jello. This is the last number of the second program of the new jello series, and we'll be with you again next Sunday night at the same time. Oh, Mary? Yes, Jack? I went to the Paramount last night, saw your picture this way, please. You did? How'd you like it? Oh, well, you're awfully cute in it. I thought you were your usual charming self. Isn't that a coincidence, Jack? That's what I thought. Yeah. Hey, Buck, can I hang up now? Oh, I forgot about Andy. Good night, folks. See your local papers of time and station. Kenny Baker is a part of this program through the courtesy of Mervyn Leroy Productions. The tune yours and mine is from the picture Broadway melody of 1938. This is a national broadcasting company.