 Flakes program coming from the Hollywood canteen The Jack Fennie program transcribed from a junior release for a presentation at this more convenient out Eager ship they mean that it's not only ready, but rare in the gold Well for my money, that's a swell word for grape nuts and grape nuts flakes Here are two eager as well as grand tasting breakfast dishes for you. All right Both are so quick to fix. They're always ready And after you've polished off a big bowl of their Molly rich goodness, you're rare and the gall Yes, make them a part of your adequate breakfast and you keep right on rare and to go all morning long Remember grape nuts and grape nuts flakes bring you all around whole grain nourishment energy plus and say They're both such cheerful breakfast treats. There's such a pleasing teasing zest to eating them Grape nuts crisp and crunchy grape nuts flakes tempting toasty brown flakes Yes, sir for luscious goodness plus grand nourishment You can't beat delicious nutritious grape nuts and grape nuts flakes. So eat a good breakfast do a better job Tonight we're broadcasting from the world famous Hollywood canteen Yes, the Hollywood canteen where hundreds of thousands of servicemen come to see stars like Dorothy Lamour Betty Grable and Lana Turner. That's right So without further ado, we bring you a man dressed in a sarong showing his legs and wearing a sweater Jack Benny Thank you. Thank you. Hello again. This is Jack Benny talking and done. I hate those corny introductions You don't have to make up a lot of silly things just to be funny Jack I didn't make anything up for one thing. You are wearing a sweater. So what I'm cold I've got just as much right to be cold as Lana Turner Besides when I take the trouble to knit something I'm not going to throw it away Anyway, I'm not trying to look like a glamour girl. Oh, hello Phil. Hello Don. Hi ya fellas Gee, it's great to be here in the can. Hey, hi a Phil. Hello Dorothy. Yes, sir Well, it's wonderful to be right here in the camp tonight. Well, stop calling me Dorothy. Oh, it's you Jackson I'm sorry. That's wrong had me fooled Well, this is not a sarong I've been making sandwiches in the kitchen and I'm wearing an apron an apron and how come you've got it pinned up over one hip with a rose Where oh Well, I didn't put it there when I came here that rose was in my lapel then what's it doing down on your hip It's a rambling rose and shut up Anyway, we're here to entertain the boys. So let's get started. Yeah, and say Jackson You want to know what's happening tonight? Why well Alice is letting our baby daughter listen to the program for the first time And gee, I'd like to say a few words to her. Well, go ahead Phil. Okay. Hello, my ill-bitty tootsie. Whoa This is your great big dow would be talking Big dow would be is gonna come home to an inner little lamp see whammy can pull your widow arms around him and give him a Dway Dway big kiss Oh That that was cute Phil. Thanks, Jackson. Now. I'd like to say something to the baby Well, I thought you were talking to the baby listen Jackson if I ever talked that way to my kid. She'd hide my cornbread Well, I wouldn't blame her by the way Phil fine ad lib line hide that cornbread Well, how old how old is your kid now? Oh, she's Well, let me see now Well, she was born in February 1942 and this is February 1944 so Well, now, let's see there's 19 There's 1942 1944 you got a pencil Jackson Yes, Phil, but this one won't do any good there's no eraser on it Anyway here fail the answer is very obvious if your baby was born in February 1942 And it's now February 1944. She must be two years old. How do you know it ain't your kid? Wait a minute Don. I'll make it easier for him. Look Phil how many candles that you put on your baby's birthday cake 63 You put 63 candles on your kid's cake. Why not I can afford it. Oh Yes, Alice is working I had live get something with you can afford it or not your kid was born in February 1942 this is 1944 She must be two years old. All right, so she was born in 42 42 43 44. She's three years old Phil she's two years. I say she's three. I don't know how my own kid is answer the phone down. Give me that pencil Phil I'll show you Hello. Yes. Yes, he's here for you Phil. Okay. Hello What are you sure? Okay, honey. Goodbye. You're right Jackson. The kid is two years old Who was that Alice know the kid? Well, I'm glad she straightened you out. We come to the Hollywood canteen to do a program weighs half of it by jack Well, how's the show going? Oh, hello, Mary? Where were you're all out of breath your hair is must up. Look at your shoe. What happened? I was jitterbugging with a soldier in the middle of vine Street in the middle of vine Street Mary If you're gonna jitterbug with a soldier, you should do it right here at the canteen. Where do you think we started? Oh You mean someone opened the door while you were dancing what door we just went da da da da and we were out in the street Was of these boys here and such a hurry they like to dance with a girl see the town at the same time Well, it wasn't so bad and when there were just the two of us dancing down the street But before I knew it we picked up 12 more soldiers 17 sailors nine marines and two civilians Two civilians. Yeah with that mob hanging on me. They thought I was the Sunset bus Well, Mary you certainly are having a lot of fun today, aren't you? Yeah, you know jack I like to dance the service man, but the way they grip you. Oh, brother Grip you jack they hold on to a girl tighter than you hang on to a dime Mary I don't hang on a dime you don't know every time you open your coin purse a little sign comes out and says That's the name of the manufacturer Smith and Sun Anyway, Mary forget about me and think about the boys here at the canteen. You promise to help serve sandwiches Oh, you're right jack. I better go out in the kitchen and see how my maid butterflies doing She's helping out to you. No, okay, Mary. I'll see you later My heart tells me this is just a fling though. You say our love means everything Oh Butterfly butterfly like working here at the Hollywood canteen. Oh, it's wonderful You know miss Livingston last week when I was working in the kitchen had a Lamar was there too Hey Lamar. Well, that was nice Now now butterfly if you were working for miss Lamar, would you still say that I'm prettier than she is But you shouldn't overdo it By the way, wasn't your soldier boyfriend supposed to come here to the canteen today? Yes, ma'am, but Jerome Coleman told me he couldn't get away from camp because they liked him then gave him a special Award KP means kitchen police. Oh, I thought it meant Captain's pad doesn't how could they possibly give an award for it? Oh, there's the introduction for Dennis Day song. Let's open the door so we can hear it Shadowland I drifted Through the night that used to be Haven't sung by Dennis day for the first time on the air and Dennis you sang that beautifully. I don't think so You don't know I sing and sing and the only one that swooned is me you certainly are Frank I wish I was I should go home and pack because we're going up north to do some camp show up north. Yep. Oh boy Are we going as far as San Diego? The San Diego is south of here. That was before the rain Everything well anyway Dennis be sure to pack tonight Because we're going to leave tomorrow and our next broadcast will come from the army air base at Lamar Okay. Oh, say mr. Benny. Do you mind if I take my mother with me your mother? I don't even want her to come down to the station every time I get near that woman We wind up in an argument. Well, you don't know how to handle my mother. Why don't you do what my father did? What did he do? He killed himself Yes, I met your father on Wilshire Boulevard this morning. Doesn't he look awful? I'll stop with that silly talk and tell your mother to stay home say Jackson when we go up to San Francisco What am I going to do about the band? You know, they're working here in Hollywood, Phil Just tell them to play a little louder and we're all set You know, don't worry. We'll hear them Jackson. You're always complaining about my boys being too loud They don't play loud at all. They don't a no Phil last summer. You were playing here in Los Angeles while I was in Cairo, Egypt And when one of your boys stood up and played his flute Three snakes stuck their heads out of a basket and spit at me And now fellas oh say Jack yes, Don meant to ask you speaking of Cairo our grape nuts and grape nuts flakes as popular in Egypt as they are here What did you say Don? I Said our grape nuts and grape nuts flakes as popular in Egypt as they are here popular Let me tell you a story Come closer This may be interesting Very interesting. I was crossing the Sahara Desert on a camel and the Sun The merciless unrelenting African Sun was beating down scorching the desert sand When out of this burning vastness a figure came staggering toward me weak from exhaustion and starvation As I jumped down off my camel this man this stranger this wanderer Crawled up to me and sobbing hysterically. He cried food Give me food. I'm starving. I tell you starving Save me or save me. I'm dying. I gazed at this pathetic figure With pity in my heart and Then I reached into my knapsack and took out two boxes one great nuts the other grape nuts flakes His eyes lit up with anticipation and again. He screams food food at last. I'm saved That's our grape nuts flakes for the next three days. He couldn't decide Trying to help him reach a decision. I said listen my friend great nuts are a morty writ Sweet as a nut cereal with whole grain nourishment. Yes. Yes. Yes. I know while great nuts flakes are a morty writ Sweet as a nut cereal with whole grain nourishment So he looked up at me and said I like them both. I tell you both. I don't know which to eat or save me Help me decide So I said take them both my good man. They're not rationed He took them down and he ate them both great nuts and great nuts flakes not even noticing there wasn't any sugar and cream And when he got through he was so happy and so grateful to me for saving his life He threw himself on the ground in front of me and said my what big feet Is that story you told me the truth that that actually happened. Yes down it happened exactly poor time with the same man No, he was busy one night. We had to get another actor Anyway, the story is the truth. That's right Don. I was there with Jack when it happened. Oh, hello Larry Well, look who's here Larry Adler. What are you doing at the Hollywood canteen? Oh, I drop around here quite frequently So why I generally bring my violin and play for the boys one thing Jack, you know your constitutional rights Larry after a crack like that you ought to do something to redeem yourself How about playing a number on your harmonica for the boys begin the beginning? What do you say? Clarinette or something you shouldn't have tried it with your violin Jack What do you mean? Well, I saw a picture of you and Larry in North Africa, and you had your violin in your mouth Yeah, Mary that picture was taken just as the boys were shoving it down his throat. I Recall that say Jack. Yes. Yes down with sugar and cream And now fellas oh say Mary you don't care as long as got sugar and cream How's the food coming along well butterflies finish making the sandwiches gosh I wonder if the lemonade is ready a Rochester Rochester He never hears me Phil give me a paradise. Will you see people will think you're Al Jolson and mixing some punch Well, that's a nice gesture Rochester, but you can't sing Who can't sing you just don't appreciate soft tender boys expect to sing here argue with you any longer You can't sing here. I want to sing let him sing. Oh, hello Eddie If he sings I won't have time to play my violin play your violin Yes, I don't mind doing comedy and jokes and everything but to me music brings out the real Benny Anybody who hasn't got an answer to that is stupid No kidding Eddie, don't you think that I have the poise of a great violinist well Jack Remember two weeks ago when I came to your birthday party and you played love and bloom. Yes Let me tell you something Jack When you lifted your violin and placed it under your chin that was true artistry And when you finished and took it from under your chin. Well hyphets couldn't have done better Thanks, Eddie, but brother that stuff in between must be a new secret weapon You're just jealous because I've been in show business longer than you have how could you have been in show business longer than I have? I'm older than you. You're older than me. Are you kidding? I'm older than you. What are you talking about? I'm much older than you. I'm 39. Well, I did exaggerate a little I'm 37 To admit I'm a year younger well Answer the phone Phil. Okay. Hello Yes Okay, I'll tell him who was that Phil my baby. She wants you two kids to come over and play with Well, what do you know shall we bring our rattles? Yeah, let's with your bones. You won't need any Thanks a lot for joining us. You're welcome. Jack. It was swell and Eddie was nice of you to drop over to Say Jack do you mind if I say a word? No, no, no, not at all. Go ahead. Ladies and gentlemen I'd like you to listen to my program next Wednesday night when I have a most important announcement to make Somewhere there was a man in uniform who will be five thousand dollars richer When he returns from the war you his mother his father sister brother wife sweetheart or friend Can help him get that five thousand dollars for complete information Listen to my program over the same station Next Wednesday night. Goodbye. He's rather a musical program Wouldn't you say Mary with Dennis singing and Larry Adler's fine harmonica solo? It's too bad Jack didn't play as violin Well to tell you the truth Don. I know why Jack didn't play as violin tonight. Oh, why Mary? Well, he didn't take time this morning to eat a good breakfast Well, Mary, do you mean if Jack had eaten a good breakfast? He could have played his violin Oh, but at least it had the strength to hold it I think you're right, Mary And my idea of a good breakfast is one that includes delicate toasty brown grape nuts flakes with their crisp Distinctive texture and grand sweet as a nut flavor and grape nuts flakes are a whole grain cereal So they bring you all around bodybuilding nourishment They're a thrifty buy in the big 12 ounce economy size package So friends if you want to play the violin beautifully start your day with delicious nourishing grape nuts flakes Eat a good breakfast do a better job and Fellows will be with you next Sunday night broadcasting from the Army Air Base at LaMoure near Fresno, California And to the Hollywood canteen. Thanks for inviting us to broadcast here today. Good night folks