 Why empaths attract narcissists? Empaths are receptive. They are willing to consider or accept new suggestions and ideas. They can be present with people. They are aware of their own emotional state. They can react quickly and positively to other people's emotional states. They are deeply tuned in to the feelings of people around them. They are like emotional sponges. They have a lot of empathy. They have the ability to understand the experiences and feelings of other people outside of their own perspective. They can sense and feel other people's emotions as if they're part of their own experience. All of these qualities are good. But there is a dark side to this. When the empath is around a narcissist they will get sucked into the narcissist's emotional world. They will sacrifice their own feelings and needs to please this unpleasable person until they experience anxiety and distress. Empaths also have difficulty setting boundaries of people because they have a lot of empathy. They feel bad for other people which often prevents them from staying away. Empathy is a good quality but when the empath is surrendering everything they have to someone who just takes more and more and doesn't give anything a return it puts the empath in a very dangerous situation. It puts the empath at risk of failure or loss. Empathy is a good quality. It is an essential quality to having a healthy relationship but empaths also tend to be magnets to narcissists. Narcissists are attracted to empaths because they care. Empaths feel concern and interest for people. They want to look after and provide for the needs of other people and they are willing to give more and more. While the narcissist takes more and more the empath lets the narcissist get away with everything they do and never questions or confronts them they keep accommodating. They keep trying to fit in with the narcissist's wishes or needs which is the perfect situation for a narcissist. Empaths don't usually consider that some people are motivated purely by self-interest so they miss all the red flags. Instead they continue to show pity and concern. For the narcissist's display of misfortune or suffering empaths believe that a relationship is supposed to be about giving. They believe that it is supposed to be about being present with another person and in a normal situation they would be right but you cannot do that with narcissists. In some past relationships the empath may have had experiences where their empathy worked very well but when you're dealing with a narcissist they will only take advantage of you. They will only treat you unfairly for their own benefit but regardless of what the narcissist does the empath will give them a chance of the chance they will try to understand the narcissist they will attempt to explain or justify the narcissist's behavior or attitude with logical reasons they will try to be compassionate towards them they will blame themselves or some other situation for the way in which the narcissist is behaving they will try to heal the narcissist because they just can't accept that some people cannot be healed with love and they don't like the idea of abandoning people when a narcissist gets involved with an empath they quickly assume that they can do whatever they want because the empath just lets them get away with it until the narcissist becomes a spoiled toddler the narcissist will then test every limit and restriction that the empath has and this will hurt the empath it might even make them angry or frustrated but they will continue to give the narcissist a chance of the chance because they believe that everyone deserves to be given a chance they believe that everyone deserves to be loved the red flags were there right from the beginning but empaths overlook red flags because they're more focused on emotional connection they're more focused on attending to the narcissist's feelings and needs but there is a point where the empath starts to become aware of the danger and that is after they have children before they had children they were only justifying things from their own point of view of what was happening to them but when the empath sees how the narcissist's behavior is affecting their child it causes the empath anxiety and distress but it can also make the situation more complicated because once you have been around the narcissist for long periods of time it can exhaust your empathy until you have nothing more to offer because you have no empathy coming to you but yet someone who is in need of special care and support who you empathize with is experiencing distress empaths are not only narcissist's magnets but they also have great difficulty getting out of toxic relationships because they feel bad for people and they hold themselves responsible for other people's decisions or situations instead of recognizing everything the narcissist did to them they will often examine their own behavior they will assume that they should have done more for the narcissist the more time an empath spends with a narcissist they can become codependent they give everything they have until they experience extreme physical and mental exhaustion until they have no energy left empaths stay in these relationships with narcissists for long periods of time because they don't have the knowledge and even when they do have that knowledge they don't want to accept it it takes a lot of work to make an empath realize what they're actually dealing with but when they realize and accept it some of them will still choose to stay they have difficulty getting out before the narcissist causes more damage or losses because they think that they can fix things they think that they can make things right even though the narcissist is the only one who is benefiting from the relationship the narcissist will manipulate the empath into thinking that it's not good enough no matter what the empath does for the narcissist it will always be minimized or dismissed the narcissist will not acknowledge the empath's efforts they will only play it down and focus on real or imagined difficulties or problems for this reason the empath can spend years of their life in this relationship with no other purpose other than being the narcissist ATM or that emotional punching bag while still being compassionate towards the narcissist while still hoping that they can change some empaths do eventually realize that they need to leave the relationship which is due to a difficult financial situation or serious health problems as a result of the relationship but regardless of everything the empath has done for the narcissist the narcissist will see it as though the empath is abandoning them they will see it as though the empath is selfish narcissism is characterized by an inability to self reflect so the narcissist never looks at themselves to see their own behaviors instead they project their traits onto the empath they also believe that the empath has a duty to serve them they believe that the empath exists to meet their needs for this reason even when the empath does leave the relationship it doesn't end like a normal breakup the narcissist will find themselves holding on for dear life the empath is the sustenance that keeps the narcissist together the empath is the source of the narcissist's strength the empath maintains the narcissist's life and existence which is why it is often so difficult for an empath to ever be free where there is an empath there will always be someone who is dependent on them because empaths are like emotional sponges they're very given and they don't expect much in return which makes them very attractive to narcissists empathy is a good quality in relationships but every relationship should be reciprocal there should be an equal exchange it is not your responsibility to save the narcissist you have the right to set boundaries you have the right to protect yourself when your empathy is restored to its former condition you will find that it can be an amazing thing you can then give empathy to people who give it back to you and you should especially give empathy to yourself thank you for watching I hope this video resonates with you please like, comment, share and subscribe if you were like a denate my paper link is in the video description coaching inquiries you can email me at coaching at narksurviver.uk thank you for watching and I'll talk to you soon