 Six ways to help your friend in a toxic relationship. Sometimes relationships don't just take a turn for the worse, but they can impose danger or even be life-threatening. Abuse and manipulative behavior can be hard to detect, which is why the victim often chooses to stay and attempts to normalize the situation. Unfortunately, this is how toxic relationships are prolonged. We understand how hard it can be to intervene if you have a friend or know someone who may be involved with an unhealthy romantic partner. If you're scared for that person, but may be unsure of what to do, we want to offer some advice. From psych to go, here are six ways to help your friend in a toxic relationship. One. Don't judge or criticize them for being in the relationship. Even though it's unfavorable, understand that you should still be respectful of your friend's choice to be with their partner and that they have the right to make their own mistakes. Though our first instinct may be to act protective over those we care about or who may be in danger, it's complicated when your friend cannot recognize right away that they're walking into a fire. Perspective can only be developed from understanding and understanding from compassion. Your friend will be less likely to take in your perspective if you are judging or criticizing their actions. Instead, recognize that love is hardly ever logical and that getting swept away in emotions is expected. Two. Approach them gently about the concerns you have for them. It's important to approach your friend gently about your concerns because you don't want them to feel upset or smothered. Chances are when you act out of line, your friend will most likely confide in their partner and their partner may manipulate your friend believing that your jealous or insecure. In reality, you'll only be helping their partner obtain more power over your friend. When you talk to your friend, choose a quiet and comfortable environment, such as going for a walk in the park or eating ice cream at the beach before delving into difficult conversation. We understand how intimidating it can be to bring up the topic, but with enough heart and understanding, it can steer in the right direction. Three. Give your friend a boost in their self-esteem. Let them know that they are loved. Stephen Koboski, author of The Perks of Being a Wallflower writes, we accept the love we think we deserve. Sometimes I think we're afraid of letting someone in who actually treats us right because all we've known is pain, disaster, and destruction. How do you even begin to tell someone that they deserve more than they've got when they've never been exposed to that kind of love? You can't just expect them to know what a healthy relationship is. Instead, you can lead them there and show them what it means. Help your friend build up their self-esteem and let them know that you love them. Encourage them to be kind to themselves, listen to their fears and needs, and show them that they're capable of great things. Four. Tell them about your past experience in unhealthy relationships. If you've been in an unhealthy relationship before, let them know why it didn't work and why it had to end. Let your friend know that you are exactly where they are right now and that the signs weren't always obvious and sometimes you may have even made the same excuses for your ex's manipulative or abusive behavior. You're lucky if you end up marrying your best friend and they're your first and only relationship partner, but usually it takes a couple of tries to find someone who's good for us. The best thing about failed relationships, though, is that they make us wiser lovers and by sharing your lessons with your friend, that's when their perspective can shift and start to redevelop as well. Five. Be honest and check in on them often. You've already recognized that your friend needs support getting out of their toxic relationship. Don't distance yourself or give up altogether because your friend may not heed your advice. They may not see the signs that you've seen, but that doesn't mean that they won't down the road. Please, don't lose hope. Your friend needs you now more than ever, so be honest. Tell them that you care about their safety, that they may be making excuses, but you're not. This may cause your friend to feel resentment towards you and arguments may even erupt from your disagreements, but your persistence can save their life. Six. If things start to get out of hand, seek a professional. First, inform your friend's family about the situation if they aren't already aware of it. The more support your friend has, the better. If things begin to get out of hand and you notice your friend is in danger, talk to a professional such as a guidance counselor or a psychologist. We hope things don't have to escalate to this level, but if your friend needs immediate assistance, it's best to call police for help. Trauma may follow and it takes more than just time for someone to heal from toxic relationships. Let your friend know that there are resources they can turn to and, most importantly, continue being there for them. They're going to be scared, hurt, and confused, but let them know that they don't have to face those emotions alone. Do you know someone who's in a toxic relationship? We understand how hard it can be to watch them struggle in the challenge of intervening. Please share your story with us by leaving a comment down below. Hey everybody, I just want to give a personal thank you video for you guys for always supporting Psych2Go and making this all possible for us. Our vision is to make psychology as accessible as possible so that it promotes self-awareness and it helps you guys grow. 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