 G'day y'all, ever since the original Switch release like 6 years ago, third-party developers have been doing their dauntest to cram their games onto this high-bred console, and some have been really big successes, like Alien Isolation, which somehow ran better on Switch than PlayStation 4, and then games like Overwatch and Doom that were technical marbles on the console, but for every good port, we've had some stinkers. WWE 2K18 comes to mind, the one where you can't have more than two wrestlers in the ring without it dipping down to two frames a second, all these years later that still isn't fixed. And then of course Arc, which is to this point been hailed as the worst Switch port, but ironically here in just a couple of days, the developers at Arc are re-releasing the game, fully updated and improved, and it looks like they truly have fixed it. So that leaves the question now, what is the current worst Nintendo Switch port? You know, initially I wanted this video to be about the best Nintendo Switch ports, and I'll probably still make that video because I'm very excited to make it, but the more I played of the Alan Wake remaster, the more I couldn't remain silent, the more I couldn't put pen to my own paper, that's an Alan Wake joke, and make this video because I don't know what happened. I have a couple theories, but oh boy, bleh. Actually before I get to any of that, you guys remember how recently I announced I was joining Game of Sups? Well, that was a massive success. Initially we launched with those free samples and free shipping, but we gave away like 8,000 of them in just a couple of hours, and the lovely people at Game of Sups started to panic because we weren't supposed to give that much away, that's a lot of money. So we all had to scramble and put an end to that a little quicker than was planned. So if you got your free samples, thank you so much, and we are going to do it again soon for those that missed out. However, if you did just get your free samples and now you're thinking to yourself, I should buy some and you want to support and get a bunch of tubs like I have, well good news, we're offering free shipping on orders $30 or more right now. Go get your first real dose of Game of Sups. And if you want to recommend a flavor, I really like strawberry lemonade as well as waifu candy. In fact, if you get the blueberry and mix it with the waifu candy, directly supports the channel. Thank you. All right. So the Alan Wake remaster just released on the switch. To be clear, the Alan Wake remaster is nothing new. The Xbox and PlayStation version of this game launched a year ago, and we were left waiting and wondering when we were going to get our portable version of the game. And it is so apparent upon immediately starting the game that something went horribly wrong. Oh, that was already a bit sluggish. I want to see my face. Oh, no. This is a remaster, guys. Oh my God. This is a remaster. I know this game is supposed to be a little scary, but Alan's face isn't supposed to be the thing making you want to scream. What's really bizarre here is that they're trying to call this mess a remaster when if you take a look at the original 360 game released in 2010, it looks light years better than this version. I said light years because light is a big thing in the game, but I don't think that joke was very clear. So now I'm over explaining it. It was a funny one. 360 on the left, switch on the right. All right. All right. This is a remaster. This is the base version. Look at those trees. Look at look at Alan. Look at even Alan's textures and his model. This is so flat. This image is so flat. There's no lighting here. Look at the way the lighting is bouncing off of his shoulder here and the bloom effects on these lights. And then look at these lights and like the flat lighting. Oh, that's so upsetting. 360 version looks like the remaster. I think I figured out why it looks so bad. And you're going to laugh when you hear this because why wouldn't a 360 game look good on the switch? I mean, after all, if I reach my back pocket here, near-automata just released on the console and it's easily one of the best ports we've ever seen. Also, just a fantastic game. Can I gush about it for a second, please? And this game is no easy feat. Unlike Alan Wick, which is a very linear experience based in just small areas at a time, near-automata takes place in an open-ish style world. It's not the biggest, most expansive open world, but there's definitely way more going on with loads of enemies sprawling areas, action of all kind, giant boss battles, and chow. Near-automata follows the character of 2B and androids sent back to Earth because the humans have left Earth because Earth was invaded by robots. So now the humans up on the moon have decided to make a bunch of more robots, androids, and send them down to fight the other robots so hopefully clear them out so that we can come back to Earth. But these androids are actually filled with a ton of personality. They're very extremely likable and it's the hack and slash gameplay that'll get you hooked. Near-automata mixes up its genre every five seconds. At some point, it's a hack and slash. At another point, it's a bullet hell. Then it's a top-down, then it's a side-scroller, then it's just fun. And all of that has somehow crammed its way onto the Switch and looks fantastic and plays so well and it's been hailed as a miracle port and I truly do believe that. So where did Alan Wake go so wrong? Well, everybody, they took the Alan Wake remaster, the version from Xbox Series X and PlayStation 5 that was upscaled with better textures, 4K visuals, and now they're trying to downscale it to fit it onto the Switch. Why? This tree is like cutting in and out and then up here, what's going on with this grass? There's like ghost grass here. What is this ghost grass? I've never seen anything like this before. You can only see the texture and the model of the grass if you're looking at the ground and then when you bring the camera up and it goes past the cliff, it's like see-through. This game is so hideously built. Look at the frames. Oh my God. Here's what they should have done. You remember a couple of years ago when Nino Cooney remaster released? Everywhere else got the remastered version. The Switch got the original PlayStation 3 version because rather than trying to cram a newer version of the game that couldn't fit on the console and have a technical issues, they just ported the game over and said, well, that's better than nothing and it was because there were plenty of people that were willing to pick up Nino Cooney on the Switch and sacrifice the remastered version in turn getting portability. That's the upside to getting it on Switch. That's what you get out of the console rather than getting a high-powered console version. And that is what they should have done with Alan Wake because how in the lords above can you have anything titled a remaster when it looks worse than the game that came out 12 years before it? Remedy hired D3T to port this game to the console. Now, if you don't know how this works, typically, the developer of the game themselves originally don't go to work making the Switch version that's hired out to another team. For example, Bethesda didn't port Doom to the Switch, they hired Panic Button, a fantastic company who really specializes in porting games to the Switch. They didn't make Doom, but they know how to put Doom on a Switch. So what has D3T done before? Well, I looked that up and I found Bubkis. The only thing I could see they have ported on Switch before is Sega Genesis Collection. So I assume this is their first big foray into porting a full game to the console and I just don't think it went the way anybody planned. And it's not that the Switch can't handle Alan Wake. In fact, I made a big stink about just do the 360 version, but I'm not even convinced that they couldn't handle the remastered version because if I reach back into my pocket one more little time here, we'll find a game called No Man's Sky. Ooh, where'd that come from? But this port just came to the Switch and it is incredible. Even on Steam Deck, this game has a hard time running just because it's not optimized for that. But this port, oh boy has it been optimized for the Switch. I still can't believe I can literally be on a planet, get in my ship, hyperjump out to space and go to another planet within seconds with no low times or anything. And I can do this constantly. The game never stuttering, the frame's being really good and some of these planets so dense and foliage and I'm able to see all of it. With really the only pop in I ever experienced being just when I'm loading in and flying down onto the planet, which I find totally excusable because the second I pop out of my cockpit, it's fine. I truly believe this is the best Nintendo Switch port of a game we've ever had. This game is maybe five or six years old but it's the scope of this game that impresses me. It's weird that even five or six years now into the Switch's lifespan, there are still people that can't figure this out and then others that just really can. We're gonna have to take a look at Ark when it releases but I think it does speak volumes that this company tried porting a game to the Switch and totally bungled it. And then they spent what I assume has at this point been three or four years adding content to the game, improving the game on other platforms like PC and now they're taking another stab at it and doing it right. That tells me that it can be done right. We have a perfect example here of a game that you could look at and say, well, of course that wasn't gonna work on Switch. Look at it, look at the scope of the game. But no, because all these years later on the same hardware, a game that's improved and changed since then they're able to take another go at it and actually put the work into creating a decent port. I would almost wanna throw this dart out there and see what I hit and say, I think every bad port on Switch probably could have been done right by someone. I think it was entirely possible but the team that worked on it just couldn't figure it out. I think there's a reason dev teams like Panic Button are seemingly unstoppable unable to port any game to the console. Even fast paced action games like Wolfenstein but then another team can figure out how to put a slow paced thriller game like Alan Wake on the console. Even if the visuals weren't an issue, we have frame rate dips consistently. While playing the intro alone in some of the smallest parts of the game, I was getting a headache just panning the camera around. Alan Wake does not even look like Alan Wake. That looks like you asked an alien to draw a human from memory. We've lost so many lighting and shadow effects and it's part of what made the game so special. The light is a huge key, almost a character in the game. The entire game is lights and shadows. Spotlights to save your life in and shadow men to run away from. You can't just strip that out and give us little clay people to play with. Finally, I didn't wanna really talk about Persona 5 Royal too much right now because as you can see mine is still sealed. I actually am waiting to play this until after I finish Mario and Rabbids but I wanted to at least talk about it in the video because I've heard really good things and I'm really excited to play this PlayStation 4 game on my Switch and I just think it's funny that sandwiched in between three of the best ports we have seen on the console in its lifespan we got Alan Wake Dumpster Fire Demastered. Alan Wake is one of my favorite games of all time. That it is a great, fun, thrilling game that anyone should play and give a chance. So me being a Switch fiend and knowing that a 360 game should port to the Switch pretty easily was excited to share this experience with all of you. There's a sequel coming so this would have been great to get you all in at the door but no, I can't recommend this to anyone. This is the worst Nintendo Switch port. Here's what I want to come out of this video. Whoever is in charge of porting this to the system scrap this, do what Arc did and either have someone redo it which is a lot of work I know. So instead, just take the ROM from 360. Just bring it over here, bring it over a little more. Under the Switch please. I don't even care if it's not the remaster. The original looked better than this. All right, that's my rant about Alan Wake. If you guys liked this video and if it saved you some money on Alan please like, comment and subscribe. Please remember to get some gamer subs for a very limited time. You can get free shipping on orders up to $30. Bye.