 my biggest regrets from dealing with narcissists. When you have been involved with narcissists, you may look back and begin to regret certain things. You may begin to feel sad or disappointed over certain things that you didn't do or didn't recognize. You may wish that you had made different decisions because the consequences of those decisions were unfavorable. I regret falling for their flattery. I regret falling for their excessive and insincere praise, which they only used to further their own interests. I understand now that it was never real. It was just to keep me around, to keep me returning to them for validation. When I could have just validated myself, I regret believing that they actually cared about me. Believing that they actually felt concerned or had an interest in my problems and was fortunes. They never really cared about me, even when it seemed like they did. It was all an act. They would only take an interest in your problems and was fortunes, if it means that they can get something out of it. Otherwise they won't care. I regret believing that they loved me. They could never love me because they didn't love themselves. They were very insecure. They hated themselves and as time went by they began to project their self-hatred onto me. They can't deal with their own emotions. They can't accept how they really feel about themselves. They can't be responsible for themselves or hold themselves accountable for their choices or actions. They will always hold you accountable for their faults and mistakes. They will always blame you for how they feel. They never loved you. The only things they love are what you can do for them or if you can make them feel good about themselves. They don't even recognize us as real people. We are just objects to them. They just use us to meet their needs, to feel better about themselves. They never recognized us for who we are. They only saw us for the lens in which they see themselves. When they first met us they projected their ideal version of themselves onto us. When they began to devalue you they projected their unwanted and disowned parts onto us but they could never really see who we are. They are so self-absorbed all they can see is parts of themselves and other people. I regret believing that they wanted the best for me, that they had my best interest in mind. Whenever I tried to do good for myself they would put me down. They would make me feel bad about myself. I would always feel as though I was doing something wrong until I stopped taking care of myself. I stopped trying to do the right thing because I thought what's the point if I always get everything wrong if I can't do anything right what's the point of even trying and that is another thing that I regret believing that what they thought about me was true when really it was just a projection of how they feel about themselves. They feel as though they are defective and inadequate as though they can't do anything right as though they are not good enough which never had anything to do with me. I recognise that now but I wish I knew that back then. I wish I knew that I was always enough regardless of what the narcissist projected onto me they felt as though they were not enough and that is why they couldn't treat me in the way that I deserve to be treated with love and respect kindness and understanding. They couldn't treat me in that way because they felt as though they were deserving of it but rather than accepting that and owning it as a part of themselves they chose to project those feelings and beliefs onto me making me believe that I was not deserving I regret believing that I could help or change them I regret believing that it was my responsibility to do that I understand now that we are responsible for ourselves we should not expect or demand for another person to assume responsibility over us you cannot change a narcissist and it is not your responsibility to do so you are only responsible for yourself no matter how much you try to change the narcissist you will never succeed you will only end up changing yourself until you don't even know who you are anymore and that is why I regret that I didn't leave sooner I spent all of my time and energy focusing on people who didn't even care about me people who didn't have my best interest in mind they only cared about themselves they only cared about how they were going to use me for that one interest or needs I gave everything I had to every narcissist I ever got involved with until I was left with nothing for myself and nothing left to give and when I had nothing left to give none of them stuck around to give me any help or support I was blamed and shamed and made to feel as though I wasn't good enough and that is why I wish I'd gotten out sooner then I would have had more time and energy to focus on myself to be the person that I wanted to be to live the life that I wanted to live my biggest regret of all is regretting all of these things because I know that they made me the man I am today I know that without those experiences I would never be where I am now I would have taken a completely different path in life if I had spent all of my time regretting everything that happened I know I never would have made it this far I never would have believed in myself you could not build a future when your mind is stuck in the past and that is why I would just like to finish this video with one of my favorite quotes when one door closes another opens but often we look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which is open for us thank you for watching I hope this video is interesting if you please like comment share and subscribe click the bell icon to receive notifications for my future videos if you like to donate my paypal link is in the video description coaching inquiries can be on me at artsyvercoaching at gmail.com thank you for watching and I'll talk to you soon