 Lucky's taste better. Cleaner, fresher, smoother. Lucky's taste better. Cleaner, fresher, smoother. For Lucky's strike meat, lime tobacco. Richard tasting, lime tobacco. Lucky's taste better. Cleaner, fresher, smoother. Lucky strike, lucky strike. This is Don Wilson, friends. When you buy a pack of cigarettes, are you sure they're going to be really fresh? You can be if your cigarette is Lucky Strike. And one big reason why is the carefully controlled moisture content of Lucky's fine tobacco. The makers of Lucky's know that if the tobacco is too moist, your cigarette will burn too slowly. Or if it's not moist enough, will taste dry. So Lucky's moisture content is constantly checked during every step of their manufacture. That's important, friends. Because smoking enjoyment is all a matter of taste. And the fact of the matter is, Lucky's taste better. Cleaner, fresher, smoother. Why? First of all, because they're made of fine, naturally mild, good tasting tobacco. Who doesn't know that L-S-M-M-T, Lucky Strike means fine tobacco. And then, Lucky's are made better to taste better. So friends, if you want your next cigarette and everyone after it to taste better, be happy. Go Lucky. Ask for a carton of better tasting Lucky Strike. Lucky's taste better. Cleaner, fresher, smoother. Lucky Strike. Lucky Strike. I'm starring Jack Benny with Murray Livingston, Rochester, Dennis A. Bob Crosby and yours truly, Doc. Ladies and gentlemen, around this time of the year, an annual activity takes place in homes throughout the country. Spring cleaning. As we go out to Jack Benny's home in Beverly Hills, we find Rochester busy with his chore and his friend Roy helping him with the work. You take the bottom and I'll take the top, Roy. I got it, Rochester. Where shall we carry it out in the yard? No, Mr. Benny might see it there and make us bring it back in. Let's carry it over here. Okay. There, place and burn it. Okay. Man, Mr. Benny sure hates to turn loose of his Christmas tree. How long could he keep the one from 1952? This is it. Hey, Rochester, this is the first time I've seen you since you came back from New York. Did you have a good time there? I sure envy you, going to New York, seeing Broadway with all those wonderful shows. Did you see tea and sympathy? Huh? Did you see tea and sympathy? My friend, when I go to New York, I'm not looking for either. I'll do it. Hey, Rochester, Mr. Benny's violin is on the piano. Shall I dust that too? Well, I don't know. Do you think you might drop it? Of course not. Then let me dust it. Rochester, maybe Mr. Benny doesn't play so good, but you shouldn't take it out on the violin. It might be valuable. It could be a Strativarius or a Guinerias. Do you know what kind it is? No, how can you tell? Well, the maker's name's always on the inside of the violin. You can see it by looking through these holes. Let me see. Yep, there it is. What does it say? The Tap Boys. Good morning, Rochester. Good morning, boss. Hello, Mr. Benny. Oh, hello, Roy. How'd you sleep, boss? Oh, pretty good. Is my breakfast ready yet, Rochester? I'll go fix it now. You know, I'd like something a little different this morning. I was planning something different. I'll fix you some eggs, Benedict Canyon. Rochester, you mean eggs Benedict? I mean Benedict Canyon. The grocery truck had a wreck there this morning. I'll fix you breakfast. Say, Roy, you and Rochester really have the place looking spick and span. Oh, thank you, Mr. Benny. Hmm, the front door. Excuse me, Roy. Oh, hello, Dennis. Hello, Mr. Benny. Come on in. Thank you. I came to say goodbye. I'm joining the Air Force. The Air Force? Off we go into the wild blue yonder climbing high. Look, here they come, Zooming to meet our thunder. Dennis, why this sudden decision to join the Air Force? Well, yesterday I was walking down the street and I saw one of those posters with the finger pointing at it and said, Uncle Sam needs me. Oh, he does, eh? Well, Dennis, if our armed forces are in such bad shape that Uncle Sam needs you, I'm moving to Tasmania. Now, while I'm packing, let me hear the song you're going to do on our next Sunday show. Yes, sir. With impossible schemes, you can lie and raise your honor to a hundred and five. I'm so busy that I haven't got time to compliment you on your singing, but you have without a doubt one of the finest voices that I've ever heard. Hurry up. I've got to get down to the recruiting office. Dennis, forget about enlisting. You don't have to. Now, you did your duty during the last war when you were in the service. Yeah, you're right. I put in a couple of years in the Navy. I was on a battleship for six months, a destroyer for eight months, and a submarine for three months. Dennis, I didn't know you had submarine duty. Yeah, that was exciting. Sometimes a submarine would stay submerged for days at a time. Boy, was that tough. It was? I'll say they never let me inside. Well, I'd better go now. You're turning blue again. Goodbye. If he should survive to 105, it won't be my fault. Silly kid. Most people think I don't like him, but I love when Dennis comes over. Always makes me feel so good when he leaves. Sometimes he does. I'll get it, Rochester. Hello? Hello. Have I the pleasure of addressing Mr. Bieny? Why, Mr. Kitzel? Mr. Kitzel, it's nice hearing from you again. What can I do for you? Nothing. This time I wanted to do something for you. I want to invite you to me and my wife's wedding and your boys' party Saturday night. Oh, so you and your wife are celebrating your wedding anniversary. Which one is it? The 13th. Number 13. Isn't that unlucky? What was so fortunate about the other 12? Well, I'll be glad to come to your party, Mr. Kitzel. Wonderful. And Mr. Bieny, it's going to be a masquerade. Everybody is supposed to come as a famous movie star. Oh, that's a cute idea. Who are you coming as, Mr. Kitzel? William Holden. I see, because he won the Academy Award. Uh-huh. And my wife is coming as Audrey Hepburn. Oh, does your wife look like Audrey Hepburn? No, William Holden. Well, who's going to be at the party, Mr. Kitzel? Well, let me see. There's you and me and two more of my friends, my wife and her immediate family, 60 people in all. Mr. Kitzel, your wife has that many relatives living here? No, they're coming from Cleveland, Pittsburgh, Minneapolis, New York, Oklahoma, Philadelphia, and Boston. All at distance, just to come to a party. Two of them are coming in from Tasmania. No. Yes, time to lay out and waving. Lay out? Well, it certainly sounds like a lot of fun, and I'll be there. Thank you very much, Mr. Kitzel. You're welcome. Goodbye. Yeah, it's a cute idea having a masquerade party, and everybody comes as a famous movie star. I wonder if it would be hammy if I came as me. Oh, well, I better go in and eat. Say that breakfast looks good, Rochester. I kept everything hot for you. Oh, that's fine. Well, I'll say goodbye now, Rochester. We're all done. That's right. Thanks for helping me, Roy. Oh, wait a minute, Roy. I'd like to give you some money for coming over and helping out. Oh, that isn't necessary, Mr. Benny. No, no, Roy, I want to give you something. What do you think is fair? Well, I don't know. Let me see. You came over here at eight this morning. It's noon now. That's four hours. What would you say to three dollars? Three dollars? Well, do you think that's fair, Rochester? No, but grab it. All right, here's five dollars, Roy. Oh, thanks. Goodbye, Mr. Benny. So long, Rochester. Rochester, I want to ask you something. What business is it of yours? How much money Roy gets? Mr. Benny, when you make as little as I do, you've got to borrow from somebody. You, not him. Me? Yeah, let's all go in the living room where the piano is. Look, Rochester, we want to surprise Mr. Benny on next Sunday's show, and we have an idea for the commercial. And we want you to sing with a quartet. You can sing, can't you? Anything but soprano. Cusing. There you are. Let's see. Oh, and shall we? One, two. I get so lonely when I dream about you. Can't do without you. That's why I dream about you. If I could only put my arms about you. To life where you were there. We'd better taste them lucky. A lucky strike is made of wine. Baby, ma. Oh, baby, ma. Oh, baby, ma. Oh, baby, ma. Now, we better be running along. So long, Rochester. Goodbye, Mr. Wilson. So long. If there are any phone calls for me, I'll be in the library. I'm going to read for a while. Yes, sir. Gee, I haven't read a good book in a long time. Look at the ones on this shelf. They've all been made into great pictures. The Cain Mutiny by Herman Wolk. The High and the Mighty by Ernest Gann. From Here to Eternity by James Jones. From Here to Tijuana by Ali Khan. See what else I have. It takes all kind by Marie Zoloteau. Oh, look, here's that new book that Frank Remly wrote about the orchestra. The Seagrams Around Us. Say, here's a new one that looks interesting. The Secrets of a Psychiatrist. I think I'll read this one. I better move that lamp over here. There we are. Now, let's see. The Secrets of a Psychiatrist. Chapter One. Excuse me, Doctor. Yes, Nurse. Mr. Jones is waiting outside to see you. Which Mr. Jones? The one who goes around with an onion on his head because he thinks he's a pickled herring? No, no, Doctor. The one who thinks he's a refrigerator. Oh, well, send him in. And get me my dark glasses. Every time he opens his mouth, that light inside hurts my eyes. Now, please hurry, I have a busy schedule. Yes, Doctor. You may go in now, Mr. Jones. Hello, Mr. Jones. Ah, hello, Doctor. Well, Mr. Jones, do you still think you're a refrigerator? Yeah. Now, don't worry, Mr. Jones, I'll cure you. I want you to go home and sit in the corner and say to yourself, I'm a man. I'm a man. Until you're positive, you are not a refrigerator. But, Doctor, I know I'm a refrigerator. How can you be so positive? You can be sure when you're a western house. Oh, well, you certainly fooled me. With that uniform on, I thought you were General Electric. He didn't like my joke because he left my office as a musician, a drummer named Sammy. This poor fellow believed he was a Saint Bernard. He always tied a keg of brandy around his neck and went out looking for people lost in the snow. This in itself wasn't so bad. But when he found them, he would rob them and drink the brandy to celebrate. I don't understand why Sammy thought he was more like a Mexican hairless. Are there any more patients, Miss Mitchell? No, Doctor. Do you mind if I leave for the day? No, you may go. Oh, just a minute. Yes, sir. Miss Mitchell, I want you to know that you've been a great help to me. I've never gotten where I am without you. Thank you, Doctor. How long have you been with me? Seven years. And what am I paying you now? A dollar an hour in car fare. Gee, that's not good. Gee, that's not very much. It is when you consider I live in Tasmania. Which were immediately. But our wedding had to be postponed because I received an urgent call to fly to Mexico and see a patient who was badly in need of my services. I flew down their arriving late in the evening. I stopped in at a restaurant and had a dinner consisting of chili con carne, which I washed down with a big glass of tequila when I snored and set the drapes on. A few days later, he returned to me. Have you taken my advice? Sheen. You've gone horseback riding every day? Sheen. And you've been riding ten hours every day? Sheen. How do you feel now? Sore. Sore? Sheen. Obviously crazy with the heat. Are you happy, dear? Oh, yes. Just think, on Saturday, I will become Mrs. William Jackson, PhD, B-A-L-L... Darling, that's pronounced pit-bubble. We made our preparations, and I was blissfully happy. The morning before, the one suddenly the door opened. Doctor, put down that pin. Now, tell me, what seems to be your trouble? Well, my husband is away for long periods of time, and I get so lonely. Oh, baby, my... Doctor, isn't there anything you can do to help me? Well, I'm getting married at seven o'clock tonight. Oh. I'll pick you up at a quarter to eight. Doctor, what about your honeymoon, your wife? Oh, she'll make out all right. I give her a dollar an hour in car fare. Now, supposing we... Ah-ha! I thought I'd catch you here. My goodness, it's my husband. But he's wearing a uniform. I'm General Electric. The fire starts every minute of the day and night. There's no end in sight for the terrible destruction caused by these fires unless you do something about it. Here's what you can do. Check all of the electrical equipment in your home. Make certain it is safe. Don't smoke in bed. Be sure that every match, every cigarette is out before you retire for the night. Don't give fire a place to start. Thank you. But first, a word to cigarette smokers. LUCKY'S TASTE BETTER Cleaner, fresher, smoother LUCKY'S TASTE BETTER Cleaner, fresher, smoother For LUCKY's strike means LUCKY'S TASTE BETTER LUCKY'S TASTE BETTER Cleaner, fresher, smoother LUCKY'S STRIKE LUCKY'S STRIKE. You know, it almost goes without saying, friends. One reason you smoke is for enjoyment. And that enjoyment comes from the taste of your cigarette. That's right. Smoking enjoyment is all a matter of taste. And the fact of the matter is, LUCKY'S TASTE BETTER. Cleaner, fresher, smoother. And why not? Better taste starts with fine tobacco. And LSMFT, LUCKY'S STRIKE, means fine tobacco. Fine, naturally mild, good tasting tobacco. And then, LUCKY'S are made to taste better. Carefully made with a constant check on quality during every step in their manufacture. That's why you can be sure that every LUCKY you light is round and firm and fully packed to draw freely, smoke evenly, and naturally taste better. So remember, friends, when you're looking for smoking enjoyment, the sure way to find it is to reach for a LUCKY. Because smoking enjoyment is all a matter of taste. And the fact is, LUCKY'S TASTE BETTER. Cleaner, fresher, smoother. So try a carton of LUCKY STRIKE. Be happy, go lucky. Get better taste today. Good night, folks. We're a little late. Paul, sir. John Tackeberry, Al Gordon, Al Goldman. And produced and transcribed by Hilliard Marks. The Jack Benny program is brought to you by LUCKY STRIKE. Product of the American Tobacco Company. America's leading manufacturer of cigarettes. Stay tuned for the Amazon Andy Show, which follows immediately over most of these same stations. This is the CBS Radio Network. And KNX AM and FM Los Angeles, where 10 o'clock wire is heard every night of the week.