 What am I jazzed? Subject is uncomfortably happy with being contained. If it makes you comfy, you could call me God. Approach the object. Note the knife on the floor. It's called foreshadowing. We're going to be cleaning up Shish kebab D-class in a minute. Oh, didn't see that coming. Spider moon, spider moon, I'm not dealing with spider moon. Lunar base, way up there, blow it up for all I care. That's right. Blow up the spider moon. What do you mean SCP-3000 is on the move? This is unprecedented, never in any of our surveillance is... What's its bearing? Oh, sweet 343. Remember to quickly bind the limbs of Thaumaturges upon capture, as they will often use kinetic lifts to transform into more formidable foes. Yes, sir, the propaganda campaign against milk Jesus, or as we call them around the office, Jesus, is going swimmingly. When it took to the Got Milk campaign, the me eating shredded cheese at 3am meme was inspired, and now SCP-6542 rapture events are almost non-existent. I consider this an absolute win. Those afflicted by SCP, or as the junior researchers call it, restless booty syndrome, can lead mostly normal lives in containment away from the public. And how, pray tell, is this dog anomalous? Oh. Ahern, get me a Scranton reality anchor. When visiting the swimming pool in the recreation wing, remind yourself, you do not recognize the bodies not in the water. Sometimes we at the foundation take the phrase, ghost in the machine, a little too literally. No, no, no, you get back in there you little scamp. Yes, sir, research into the symbiote is going swimmingly. We discovered it has an aversion to loud noises, but if we apply the right level of noise and with a dope enough beat, we can get a real groove going over here. Yes, I take my research very seriously. Why do you ask? I see it rolling. And you know what? I am hating that it breach containment. Get it back in its cell immediately. You have a shadow and it's flat. It's two dimensions, right? Your body is three dimensional. Your body in three dimensions is a shadow of a fourth dimensional creature. You weren't supposed to figure that out. I'll just get the amnestics. Are you sure this is the amnestic? Oh, OK. Well, I'm going to ask you to come with us then. Go for Sherman. So I do think that we actually have plenty of storage up here. Good to know. Only downside is someone's going to have to like stand on a ladder and hand stuff up here, I think. We've got anti-grab equipment in the physics lab, nothing to worry about there. Tim, do you read? Did that shopping cart just move by itself? The sentient shopping cart is in sector C. It's nowhere near you. Is there someone in here? Hello? Sensors don't read anybody in your proximity. What are you saying? I need to get down. That sounds like a good idea. I'm having a weird deja vu. Well, that's never good. Tim? Tim? Are you all right? I'll send someone your way. We've got a staff member down in sector 7G's supply room. Get someone there quickly. Tim, are you still with me? Tim? Tim! As well as easy unfettered exit. If there's something strange in your neighborhood and that neighborhood is specifically in the Pacific Northwest, you may fall under the purview of the SCP canon known as those Twisted Pines. Those Twisted Pines is one of, if not still, the largest SCP canon boasting over a hundred SCP articles and tales. The SCP Foundation monitors the area from site 64 while the unusual incidents unit of the FBI police is three portlands. Meanwhile, multiple anomalous groups of interest are active in the area such as the Chaos Insurgency, Prometheus Labs, Chicago Spirit, Are We Cool Yet, the Maxwellist Church, Wilson's Wildlife Solutions, and Anderson Robotics. Many claim that this canon is reminiscent of, if not partially inspired by, Gravity Falls. And the Foundation definitely has a little bit less of a grim dark tone than they do in other canons. While I'm not terribly well-versed in the canon itself, I can let the opinion of SCP author Ralliston let you know if you should go give it a read. Many have succumbed to the false salvation of Milk Jesus. Luckily, there are some who are lactose intolerant to his gospel. Is something wrong with it? Well, mate, I'm gonna have to reshape this bumper. It's all over the shop. Then you've got these wheels. They all have to be replaced. Replaced? Yeah, brother, you're lucky to be alive. They're falling to pieces, look. And how much do you reckon all this is gonna cost me? Tell you what, just because I like ya, I'll do it for a family package, you piece of art. You're joking, aren't you? Family size is a bit steep. Yeah, well, it's a small price for a piece of mine, mate. Oh, for nine! You have to stop stealing the gender-switching... ...turning your back on me! Pretty childish for someone centuries old... ...walking away from the conversation you interrupted me! Graham, Noah, I'm gonna go like you're trying to make your ass fall off. I'm not sure if I can handle any more of your tomfuckery. Oh, yeah? Well, I can keep going till you're all tomfuckered out. Rip you in half, you little shit-biscuit. Well, come get some, old man! Come here, you scaling fuck! I'm shoving your soul down an interdimensional staircase. No, all these soul stairs. Yeah, that's right. Ah, yes, um... Hello, big bird! Bigger bird! Oh, you're approaching me! Hopefully for a big hug and not a big... I assure you, testing whether the heat produced by cardiovascular exercise causes the microwave to cook my burrito faster is a paramount scientific importance. Hey, what do you want to do after this? Nice. First things first, I want no hate going to this commenter. This is a teachable moment. I always preach an ethos of supporting independent creators you enjoy to get more content. But it's also important to understand where that money goes and how much of it gets to the creator or doesn't. So the premise is that our Patreon push to get 250 patrons to send Dr. Sherman to LA to visit the real-life SCP site and take video of it has pushed the Patreon for Site 42 above $700. Isn't that enough to fund the trip? Right now, round-trip flights from here to LA are running about 300 bucks after taxes and fees. Hotels are running 125 to 175 after taxes and fees. Looking at the lists and ubers that I'll have to do in LA to get to the hotel, to the show, to the hotel, to the airport, as well as food while I'm there, $600-700 bucks will probably cover it. But this commenter assumes that the $700 from the Patreon is coming directly to me, and that is not the case. First, Patreon takes 5-12% of that money as a transaction fee, so let's call it 5% go on the low end. That's $35, we're down to $679. Next up is the tax man. I live in California, a high-tax state, I have to put away 30% of independent income, or that tax man's gonna get mad at me. That's $203 bringing us down to $476. And lastly, not a lot of people know that Site 42 is not a one-man operation. We have synthetic alien and Charles, my two editors, who helped me keep a two-video-a-week schedule over on the Site 42 YouTube channel. Right now, Site 42 Studios does not make enough money to pay those two a fair hourly rate, so I split the Patreon with them three ways, even Steven, until that day comes. Which leaves me and the boys each taking home a cool $158. In fact, doing the math for this, I realize that 250 patrons probably is still gonna leave me paying for more than half the trip, but I agreed to it, I already said I'd do it, and this is a rare opportunity, so if we hit the mark, I'll still do this. I hope this has been an educational look behind the scenes of myself and your other favorite creators and what we do with the support that you guys give us. The bigger the team, the more expensive this gets, which is why when we want to make SCP films and stuff, we're gonna need Markiplier and Mr. Beast money to pull this off. This is also why I preach the gospel of the $1 Patreon supporter, because if we can get 1 million people giving $1 a month, then we could do these things right out the gate without putting too much stress on any one supporter. Thank you to those who have supported or will support Site 42. Secure. Contain. Protect. When faced with the termination attempt by SCP-173, SCP-682 grew eyeballs all over its body, knowing that at least if one blinked, there'd be 100 others that wouldn't. Through genetic manipulation, we transfer this ability to a D-class. Why would we do something so obviously disturbing? For science, of course. If you look at the monitor to my left, you will see what the world was like before we introduced the memetic because everyone to say God bless you were some variant after people sneezed. Please keep it up, it's very frustrating to get everyone put back together. Enrichment is of paramount importance in keeping hostile entities contained. No, I'm not talking about the Rubik's Cube, I'm talking about the D-class. We gotta feed him a D-class now and again, whether it's to eat their flesh, swallow their soul, just spook him, otherwise they get grumpy. Run Joint Diagnostic. These Anderson Robotics automatons are getting more realistic every time we find one. I missed the Uncanny Valley, now it's all madness-inducing Marianna's Trench. Cadets, this video contains a classic, Containment Breach-Inducing Blunder. Can you tell me what went wrong? Did it fasten the chain? That's correct. What's daddy? Why do the interns keep calling me daddy? Is this some kind of inside joke? It's my girlfriend! It's not a girlfriend, it's an anomaly! Thank you for listening. Site 42 studios and its staff are funded by viewers like you. Please become a patron or visit our merch store at the link in our bio to support our work. Secure. Contain. Protect.