 Colgate dental cream to clean your breath while you clean your teeth and help stop tooth decay and Luster cream shampoo for soft glamorous Corressible hair bring you our miss Brooks starring Eve Arden once again for another comedy episode of our miss Brooks written by Al Lois Well as some of you may remember last night was New Year's Eve Like everyone else our miss Brooks who teaches English at Madison High School had looked forward to celebrating with considerable anticipation But as the poet Robert Burns put it the best-laid plans of mice and men gang after clay I don't know about the men But I'm certainly one of the mice Robbie had in mind because last night somebody really ganged up on my clay Everything started off normally enough Saturday morning as I joined my landlady at the breakfast table here Connie Here's some tomato juice. He'll do your good dear. What is this a down payment on tomorrow morning? Oh, you won't need any tomorrow not if you come to my party tonight. What kind of a party are you having mrs. Davis? Very quiet Connie I just asked some of the neighbors in to listen to the radio and maybe dance a bit It'll be a nice relaxed evening. Of course. I am having some help with the refreshments. Who's helping you? Barney the bartender from Mulligan saloon That should lead to a very relaxed evening earlier than you think Oh, he's not going to serve any whiskey you see ever since he's been working for mr. Mulligan Barney's insistent on having New Year's Eve off. Why is that? He can't stand drunks Barney likes nothing better than to drop over here and make us a little friendly bowl of punch If I remember correctly Connie you sampled some of Barney's punch last year I almost did mrs. Davis somebody jostled me as I was about to drink some and I spilled it on my black evening gown I don't remember that at all Connie. I do it started to run in my dress Oh, you're exaggerating dear. It was a very mild mixture Why we even dipped ladyfingers into the punch bowl after a while I know and a little while after that the ladyfingers were diving into the bowl Oh, I'm just teasing you mrs. Davis. I'd like nothing better than to share a little punch with you tonight But I probably have a date with mr. Boynton probably Hasn't he asked you yet, Connie? Oh, you know mr. Boynton It takes him a week to get enough courage to speak up You'd think he'd know where he stands by now. I've dropped him enough hints heaven knows hints Just yesterday. I told him I thought there was nothing quite as exciting as the scent of an orchid and the popping of champagne corks Do you think it'll work Connie? Indubitably mrs. Davis You'll probably take me into a florist shop and let me smell an orchid while he cracks his knuckles Mr. Boynton isn't the biggest spender in the world is he Connie? No, I think there's a Maharaja in India who spends eight or nine dollars a week more But after all mr. Boynton is a school teacher and he probably just can't now who can that be come on in? It's not locked Finished with your stereo Connie. Yes. Thanks. Good morning. This Brooks mrs. Davis Hello, mr. Boynton. Now isn't that a coincidence mr. Boynton? I was just going to clear away the table and clear out What's coincidental about that now? She's got a good reason to Exactly See you later folks. Take your time dear Well, mr. Boynton. This is rather a surprise visit. Yes, mr. Brooks. I guess it is Want a cup of coffee? All right keeps pretty hot in this percolator There you are. Thank you Well, that was fun. What do we do now? Tonight as you know his new year's eve miss Brooks. Yes, I know It's the one night in the year. I believe in celebrating You see the only fun a bachelor can have Especially a bachelor school teacher is to really let go once in a while Might also be fun to hold on once in a while Don't look so shocked. I'll withdraw the statement strike that from the record clerk The one thing I'm so grateful for miss Brooks is that our relationship has always been completely honest And above board I can talk to you straight from the shoulder. You certainly can mr. Boynton I don't have to beat around the bush. No, you don't I can come right to the point without stalling. I hear you talking I uh, I don't have to mask my real intentions with a lot of pseudo diplomacy. Never know pseudo diplomacy Well, what I'm trying to say miss Brooks is that well several weeks ago I I promised to attend the biologist club new year's eve party at the club jamboree tonight Oh, that sounds like a lot of fun, mr. Boynton. Well, I'm sure it will be But the ticket cost five dollars miss Brooks and well, I only had enough for the one when I bought it And well since then I've had some unexpected holiday expenses and just haven't been able to afford another one Of course, I'd love to ask you to join me tonight But I couldn't very well invite you to pay for your own ticket. Could I you could but I couldn't Pay for it. I mean I've had some holiday expenses of my own mr. Boynton two whole weeks of eating I'm terribly, terribly, sorry. It won't be together miss Brooks as a matter of fact I I suspected you were just as broke as I am. That's why I came over to see you now What do you mean mr. Boynton? Happy new year miss Brooks Same to you mr. Boynton and thank you for a lovely morning That's all right, miss Brooks now let's sing two choruses of old langzine and this will be the earliest I've ever folded on new years Please don't be annoyed miss Brooks. I'll be thinking about you tonight from the minute I sit down in that nightclub and pick up my noisemaker. Well, thanks, mr. Boynton I'll be thinking of you too tonight as soon as I sit down by the window and blow my tin horn All right, I guess I better be running along now get cleaned up for the big night Yes, you do that mr. Boynton. I've got to help mrs. Davis with the dishes. Forgive me if I don't chase you walk you to the door Certainly. Well, see you next year like they say don't take any wooden biologists Now that's just dandy What's just dandy connie? Oh, where'd mr. Boynton go home to rest. Oh We've got a big knight ahead of us a we've got a big knight ahead of him Mr. Boynton is going to the biologist party alone mrs. Davis alone But why connie he just can't afford to take me with him the tickets are five dollars a copy now if I had five dollars I could Mrs. Davis I'd be happy to connie you would of course, but I haven't got a quarter I spent my entire budget for this week on tonight's party Oh, well, thanks just the same mrs. Davis. No sense in worrying about it. I guess new year's eve is just another night Maybe that's mr. Boynton again. I'll finish up in the kitchen connie. Come on in the door is still open Ah, good morning, mr. Brooks. Mr. Conklin What fortuitous circumstance brings madison's esteemed principal to the umbil abode of a lowly faculty member You've seen your share of charlie chan movies haven't you? If you'll forgive me mr. Brooks, I shall skirt the preliminaries and get right to the point Firstly mrs. Conklin is visiting her sister who has a touch of rheumatism in philadelphia. That's a bad place to get it Let's dispense with the fripper is shall we? Secondly her sister has sent their little boy age six to spend the holidays with my daughter harriett and myself Thirdly, I have promised harriett. She can go to a new year's eve party tonight And fourthly I have a dinner engagement with some old professor friends of mine from state normal days But I don't understand. Mr. Conklin was at this late date. It is almost impossible to secure a baby sitter, miss Brooks Now I understand I'm sorry, mr. Conklin, but I've been sitting with children for years now. I'm afraid I'm going to be busy tonight Ah, what a pity It would only be until 10 o'clock and I was contemplating payment of Say five dollars. I'd like to help you mr. Conklin, but it's really out of the question for me to did you say five dollars? That is correct. Where and when? 730 my home. I'll be there mr. Conklin. Thank you miss Brooks. Thank you very much. Don't bother seeing me to the door I know the way Thank you, mr. Conklin. Thank you very much. Yes, indeed. Mrs. Davis Mrs. Davis. Yes, dear. What is it? Well, it's going to be a happy new year after all I'm going to sit with mr. Conklin's nephew until 10 o'clock and he's going to give me five dollars He must be quite a well to do little boy Mr. Conklin's going to give me the five Don't you see mrs. Davis? Now I can buy my own ticket to the club jamboree and see the old year out with mr. Boynton after all How nice for you connie. Oh just one thing mrs. Davis on our way to the club May I stop by here to pick up some lady fingers? But doesn't the five dollars you pay include a midnight supper connie? Yes, it does mrs. Davis then what in the world do you want with lady fingers? We've got to have something to slip the waiter Eve Arden will continue in just a moment, but first here is verne smith Now proof that brushing teeth right after eating with colgate dental cream helps stop tooth decay before it starts continuous research Hundreds of case histories makes this the most conclusive proof and all dentiferous research on tooth decay Eminent dental authorities who provides hundreds of college men and women for over two years One group always brushed their teeth with colgates right after eating the other followed their usual dental care The group using colgate dental cream as directed using colgates exclusively showed a startling reduction in average number of cavities Far less tooth decay the other group developed new cavities at a much higher rate No other dentiferous offers proof of these results modern research shows decay is caused by mouth acids Which are at their worst right after eating brushing teeth with colgates as directed helps remove acids before they harm enamel Yes, colgate contains all the necessary ingredients Including an exclusive patented ingredient for effective daily dental care So remember always use colgate dental cream to clean your breath while you clean your teeth and help stop tooth decay Well, I phoned mr. Boyden and asked him to meet me at mr. Conklin's home at 10 that evening at 9 30 I was still trying to get little stevy into bed Now listen stevy. It's getting awfully late. Just when do you propose to go to sleep? Well, soon as I get another glass of water, but I've given you three glasses of water in the last half hour What do you do with them? I tried to and gave one to my animals Is see hanko osgood bought me these toys for Christmas. They're very nice now get into bed, please Well first tuck my lion in the bed all right There your lion's in bed now my tiger Okay, your tiger's in now put my black panther in right the black panthers tucked in now. I'll just tuck stevy, why aren't you getting into the bed? Who do you think I am Clyde Beatty? I wish I had a book on child psychology with me a nice heavy one Come on now shove that menagerie aside and get in. Okay Hello, is that you have Harriet your daughter's dressing for her date mr. Conklin, but thanks for the comparison On the phone all voices sound alike to me. Fine. Mr. Conklin. He's in his zoo. I mean in bed Not quite, but one more glass of water should do it There hasn't been any change in plan has there mr. Conklin. Oh, I know miss bro Then I can expect you in about half an hour. I'm afraid it'll be considerably longer than a half hour miss brokes I'm staying over with some friends, but you said you'd be back at 10. That's right. I'll be back at 10 a.m Oh, but mr. Conklin. Oh, it's nice of you to do this for me miss brokes. Good night and a happy new year to you Oh, this is terrible Harriet. Oh Harriet your dad just called and told me he won't be home until tomorrow morning I know he's staying with some old friends of his from normal. There's nothing normal about it When I agreed to act as stevy's sitter. I thought your father would be back at 10 tonight I have a date at that time with mr. Boynton. Oh, that's a shame miss bro Maybe I could call your dad back so we could make some other arrangement Do you know where these friends of his live? No, I don't but don't get panicky We'll think of something as soon as I finish dressing That must be wolder dentin. Will you let him in please? I'll just be seconds finishing up. All right Harriet coming Quiet stevy Take it easy i'm coming Oh night to see the old year out on aren't you just in love with tonight miss brookes? I'm crazy about it Harriet will be ready in a few minutes walter. Ah dear Harriet You know, that's what I like best about this holiday the feeling of closeness it gives you to the one you care for Especially during that one breathless rapturous moment right before midnight That moment like the hush of a giant wave eric pounds mightily upon the golden sands That tongueless moment of promised ecstasy culminating in a crescendo of clamorous amorous bliss Have you ever been hit with a six-year-old child? You don't seem very happy about new years Haven't you got a date with mr. Boynton? That's just the trouble walter I have But I also have a date to sit here with mr. Conklin's nephew stevy until uncle returns in the morning It was all a misunderstanding mostly on my part. Gee that's a tough break miss brooks Isn't there any way out for you? I I know maybe you could hire a babysitter to sit in your place Of course it couldn't be just any ordinary person It would have to be a very special kind of sitter to fill your shoes You never were great in anatomy were you walter? But that wouldn't work either even if I had the money which I haven't it's too late to get anybody now Well, here I am walter. How do I look devastating harriot? Absolutely soul destroying How do you think I look miss brooks very atomic harriot? You should be the center of all eyes at your party Gee, I kind of hate to go with you in this spot miss brooks. Did you tell walter about your dilemma? Yeah, she did harriot, but we can't seem to think of any way out. Oh, don't worry about me kids I'll just celebrate new years eve some other night Maybe when mr. Boynton comes to pick you up You could talk him into staying here with you instead of going to his old biologist club party Yeah, there's a swell phonograph and some keen records you could dance to maybe I'll do that In fact, I may do that even if mr. Boynton doesn't stay Excuse me kids, I guess I didn't tuck him in tight enough I'll be right there stevie You run along to your party and have a good time. You're certainly noble miss brooks. I'm not noble. I'm stuck Go ahead now. It's almost 10 o'clock noble or stuck your solid miss brooks. Thanks walter Maybe mr. Boynton will notice it and stick around a while I'll do my best so long kid Yes stevie she did. He's an idiot. He's very fond of you too Here's your water No stevie no ice cream cones at this hour with a pickle in it. That's different. You've got to have your vitamins Now I'm just fooling you've eaten quite enough for one night. Are there any pickles in the house? No, but I'd gladly let you have the one I'm in But near the pitcher I might get hungry again Thursday Oh, that's mr. Boynton. Now you put your little head down and dream you're a battleship. Okay. Night miss brooks. Good night stevie I'll be right there in mr. Boynton Why but you look handsome tonight. Oh, thanks miss brooks You look quite handsome yourself. I'm glad to see you're all ready. I'm just raring to go. Well unrare yourself, mr I'm afraid I can't go with you tonight But you said on the phone that mr. Conklin will be back. Yes, that was before he called me again He won't be here until tomorrow morning. I can't leave stevie alone But I've been thinking mr. Boynton. We could have quite a nice time right here tonight Here you and me and the phonograph. There are some fine records stacked over there by the sofa But miss brooks. We have no chaperone. Who has no chaperone. I'm here I'm sorry miss brooks. I've already paid for my ticket and the other members of the club expect me at the club jamboree In fact, I promised I'd be there by 10 30. Well, it's only 10 now. You could stay for a little while Here sit down on the couch mr. Boynton. Well, I guess I could stay for about 10 minutes or so fine We'll have a million laughs Do you like records mr. Boynton? Oh, yes, I do. Say here's quite a pile of them. Let's see what some of the titles are That should be fun. Here's a batch for you. I'll go through these Uh Don't you think you're sitting rather close to me miss brooks. I know I'm sitting close to you mr. Boynton Well, I I mean I'm a little off balance. I don't want to break any records. Don't worry. You won't Here's a great old number if I could be with you one hour tonight. I'm alone cow hand Baby, it's cold outside Don't fence me in I'm in the mood for love. It's too late now I can dream can't I? All right, louis drop the gun Everything I have is yours. I got plenty or nothing Drink to me only with thine eyes You've had all the water you're going to get now go to sleep. Maybe you should let him have it miss brooks I'd love to let him have it He's had quite enough mr. Boynton. Oh say here's a beautiful number the bells of st. Mary's Oh, that is beautiful Excuse me mr. Boynton. Oh before you answer it miss brooks. I'd like you to know I I've changed my mind. I just can't stand the thought of you spending new year's eve alone So well, I'll call my friends and tell them not to expect me That is if you still want me to stay here with you if I still want you mr. Boynton don't move from that spot Be right there If I still wanted me says It's us miss brooks. We just couldn't stand the thought of you spending new year's eve alone Come on in walter. Oh, but uh, what about your friend's party harriott We told him we weren't coming miss brooks water knife decided to spend new year's eve right here with you with me But mr. Boynton's here. Oh, hello harriott. Walter. How are you both? Fine. Thanks mr. Boynton. We came back to help miss brooks celebrate the new year. Well good the more the merry I'm staying here too Wonderful. We'll have our own party the four of us. Won't that be just the end miss brooks? It'll be the end of something I've certainly had a good time so far. So if I drink and coax and play in records Oh, it has been rather exciting at that. Don't you think so miss brooks thrilling I can hardly wait until midnight. What are you gonna do then? I'm gonna crack open a brand new bottle of sweet air and spray the kitchen It's almost midnight now. Gee. I wish daddy were here. That would be all I need Turn the radio on Walter. The club jamboree is broadcasting their new year's eve party Oh, okay, mr. Boynton poor daddy's missing all the fun He and those old professors of his probably played a few games of chess and went to bed about 11 30 Well, perhaps is for the best harriott. Your father's a very high strong man too much noise isn't good for him Uh, I've got the station Well, it's two minutes to midnight folks and here to give you the signal to the stroke of 12 is one of our Most distinguished citizens and an honored guest of club jamboree Here he is your friend and mine happy go lucky gag a minute us good conchlands Ladies and gentlemen and thank you for that charming introduction professor. Yeah, that's him. All right I have just time before the old year is dead to tell you lovely people that a funny thing happened to me on my way to the club tonight A panhandler stopped me outside the door and said mr. I haven't had a bite all week So I bit him. Oh great Madison's next principal will probably be milton burl Now when I give you the signal, let's get those noise makers going and really letter him There are only five seconds to go for Maybe it was some of mrs. Davis's fruit punch Oh gosh harry your dad's entitled to have a little fun once in a while After all people are only human. Well, it is new year's eve It sure is And it's midnight too harried You know what that means I guess so water Well, come on. I'm all puckered Mr. Boynton, do you see the work that's going on in the next yard? Yes, I I do miss brooks Although I must admit I'm a rather different person most of the time I feel that this being new year's eve. I can take a certain liberty liberty. You can take shore leave Ready if you are I'm puckered mr. Boynton Oh Done it. If you'll forgive me mr. Boynton. I'm going to pour three glasses of water Three but who are the extra two for you and me? We might as well be loaded as the way we are Martin returns in just a moment, but first dream girl dream girl beautiful luster cream tonight Yes tonight show him how much lovelier your hair can look after a luster cream shampoo Luster cream world's finest shampoo No other shampoo in the world gives k doomed its magic blend of secret ingredients plus gentle aniline Not a soap not a liquid luster cream shampoo leaves hair three ways lovelier Fragmently clean free of loose dandruff glistening with sheen soft manageable Even in hardest water luster cream lathers instantly No special rinse needed after a luster cream shampoo So gentle luster cream is wonderful even for children's hair Tonight yes tonight try luster cream shampoo Dream girl dream girl beautiful luster cream girl You owe your crowning glory to You A luster cream Ladies and gentlemen, we take pride in announcing that the poll of newspaper and magazine radio editors Taken by motion picture daily for fame magazine showed that eve arden was voted the best radio comedian in 1949 My sincere thanks to the radio editors motion picture daily and fame magazine And to every school teacher and pupil as well as their parents and friends a very happy new year Next week turn into another our miss brook show brought to you by luster cream shampoo for soft glamorous Hair and colgate dandel cream to clean your breath while you clean your teeth and help stop tooth decay Our miss brook starring eve arden is produced by larry burns directed by al lewis with music by wilbur hatch Mr. Boynton is played by jeff chandler mr. Conklin by gale gordon Others in tonight's cast were jane morgan dick crana gloria mcmillan and jeff silver Be beauty wise get bath size palm olive soap for beauty care all over Yes for your tub or shower enjoy the same glorious beauty lather that millions of women have found so wonderful In bringing lovelier complexions in just 14 days simply by the big thrifty long lasting bath size palm olive Use it for your palm olive soap facials Enjoy its oceans of creamy beautifying lather in your tub or shower and say men love it too So let the whole family enjoy bath size palm olive. Yes, be beauty wise get bath size palm olive soap today For mystery liberally sprinkled with laughs listen to mr. And mrs. North the exciting fun packed adventures of an amateur detective and his beautiful wife Tune in tuesday evening over most of these same stations And be with us again next week at this same time for another comedy episode of our misprints bobleman speaking