 That was really traumatizing, like being, being placed in that type of environment at a young age like that, I was uh, yeah I was losing it, like I just, like you become suicidal and you do, you basically do anything for attention, you yell, you kick your door, you do whatever to try to, just to have the, just to have the professionals, the officers come down there and discipline you and come into your cell and like if they have to do a cell extraction, just that is better than having to sit, having to sit in your cell by yourself all day. It was really a big deal to me and it was really scary and I really didn't know how to, I didn't really know how to process it. You walk in and it was about a six foot width so yeah from fingertip to fingertip I could touch both walls like that and then I could take about three steps from the very front of the cell to the very back of the cell. There was a sink, a toilet, a bed, there was no window, anything like that. After spending so long in solitary confinement I kind of didn't want to leave anymore, I was kind of, I was comfortable in my space, I had developed a program and I almost didn't even want to leave like I had like I would kind of get social anxiety when I knew I had to go see the outside doctor or go to the dentist or go to go somewhere you know it was like oh man like I would kind of get, I would get myself worked up over just being out of my cell and interacting with people and it got to a point where I just wanted to, I almost didn't want, I didn't want to leave almost you know in a sick kind of way. I would look for stuff like that on the literature card like anything that I thought might be taught in like a college environment or a classroom or anything that just looked like it was full of substance anything that resembled the classic and whether it was like an epic novel like Beowulf or Home or the Odyssey or something like that or even like Charles Dickens or I think one time I read Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte when I was in AdSig just because I didn't really know what it was but I like that looks like, that looks like literature you know. I lost my social skills to a certain extent you know and um and so yeah and I think and I think the house stuck with me. I wasn't really a hardened person I was never like really prone to violence I was never really like a fighter or anything like that. When I came out of prison like I was really defensive when I was really on guard and I was really, I was you know I kind of had this mind that like any moment I'm gonna have to defend myself you know and I think that really translated the people I think people could really pick up on that. We have a great time together. I love her and I love being around her and it feels pretty natural actually being a being a parent. I receive my aid, my associate of arts degree in Spanish and English so I read a lot of bilingual children's novels to her so I read like Green Eggs the Ham tour in Spanish and I figured out that you can make a career out of out of literature basically you know like you can make that's something that you can major in and study I was like this is this is what I'm gonna do like this is my thing and um and I ran with it and I ended up here. I go back and forth about 10 times a day of being really proud of myself for being here and really really think like wow this is this is really great to thinking like wow I really don't belong here. I do have some type of sense of fate or destiny or something like that.