 All right, welcome back. This is why in the morning, my name is Ram Agucco. It's a pleasure being with you today on this fine Wednesday morning. If you're just joining us, you're just in time for the next conversation. Of the day it is Woman Crush Wednesday. And in this conversation, we want to talk about singlehood, okay? And because today it's all about women. And I want to find out from the perspective of the ladies, the importance of the advantages. And of course, if at all they are disadvantages, of being single. Okay, that's the conversation that we want to find out today to talk about. And of course, it's all about independent pushes. Are you somebody who advocates for independence as a lady? And what do you think about being single? There is a song that I mentioned earlier in Asama team. What is it? Niko Singona Enjoy. There is a song that goes like that. So, I want to talk about this particular issue here of being single. And to my far right, I am with Lillian Thomas. I made a prediction, you know, Caduceus and Lillian. How are you feeling? I'm well. You're well? Looking rubbish here. Thank you. And of course, I am next to me with Penina and Zomo, who is a journalism student at the University of Nairobi. Yes. Which year? First year, not memorizum. Dormaliza? Yeah. Memor second year, sasa. You're on a break? Yeah. Okay, right. And of course, we value feedback. The hashtag is why in the morning, at Ram Aguko, and at Y254 channel, that's where you can go to find us. That's the official station. Remember, we are coming to your live from the broadcasting house and streaming live through our website. And that's www.kabc.co.ke. Okay, let's talk about this issue of being single. And let me start with you, Penina. Yes. What are the advantages of being single? Yes, sometimes, sometimes not. Sometimes, sometimes not. Yeah. But let's talk about sometimes and sometimes not as well. They're part of sometimes. Advantages, Gary? At first, we can't be single. We can't date. We can't record. We can't be single. We can't have a single person, with a single person. So, it's a problem that we can't have single. It's a piece of mind. And what's the problem? We can't have a single person. What's the problem? Sometimes it's not. That's not me I don't know how your day went Someone to tell you I love you Okay, I feel it tomorrow There is nobody to tell you I love you or how your day has been How many times have you been bored during the day? I don't know how to cheer up when you are low But your mom and dad My day has been bad There is nobody to tell you I love you I don't know how to cheer up when you are low I don't know how to cheer up when you are low But when you tell this person He will feel it, he will cheer up He will encourage you Do you have advantages of being single? Yes I think for me it's more of the flexibility That comes with being single You are not answerable to anyone So when I am making a decision Based on my own thoughts I don't really have to put into thought What will my partner think? How will he feel when I do these? Or... I don't know how to cheer up I don't know how to cheer up Everything I am doing is from a personal point of view But you are not accountable No, it's not being accountable You might find I have hobbies that I like to pursue I want things that I want to explore But when you have a partner Maybe they are not too comfortable with you doing that Or rather They have other plans You have other plans You are supposed to be doing this and this and this You see, it doesn't work for everyone So I think the flexibility Is the thing that I really go with With being single And then I think there's something that she has mentioned About you never have someone to talk to But again, we have friends So you have those BFFs Exactly, we have friends Every lady has a BFF Exactly, I can't really talk to my parents But I have a friend If I really want to share what went wrong with my day I don't think it has to be very specific It has to be I am talking to my partner Like it has to be very specific I am talking to my boyfriend And maybe text my BFF and tell her This and this is not happening This and this happened I think it can always be substituted though Who? What can be substituted? You can say Someone to tell you things to Are you substituting the person to tell Or the issue It's because people have made it So much Your partners Your source of emotional Emotional, what do I say? Emotional support The emotional well-being It's like you can't have other people That you can channel it to And I think we have A whole lot of people That you can really break down all those things too That exists But I am looking at the perspective Of a lady I don't like her Because she likes talking Is it a true assumption? It is like talking They want to express How they feel And They want to tell somebody What they want Where they want it How they want it With who they want it They want to talk And sometimes men don't understand it And to ask What you are hearing is So if you want to go to a salon And you are complaining about how The salonist was Salonist And we have no idea Is it that When you are no longer Engaged Or dating somebody Do you feel like You want to go back to that ex At least At least It's not like that So I think that's a personal Thing for We might have different perspectives For me I think I'd tell it to a friend If not, maybe I'll general it down But it wouldn't be a reason That I would go back to an ex for You can't Can you? No, I can't go back to my ex You know that I would rather do Chemistry Rather than Ex-boyfriend You know Those are used goods Yeah So We would say If you are independent If you go to a salon You would go to ex-boyfriend But you don't have to He was like your gossip mate What is it called Their boyfriend's gossip mate You tell them stories I don't know 4-1 4-1 You wouldn't miss Such kind of things But it's not like that I would go back to my mistakes That was a mistake I made I would go back You would go back No, no But other ladies do that You know And of course They break up And they are single For solo But now because of The dry period of being single They go back to The ex I'd rather prefer Finding someone else Instead of going back to him Because I would go back to him I would repeat the same mistake you made And There is a reason For your connection I would repeat the same mistake Alright Let's talk about money And I want to find out From you Do you feel like The financial implications Because you are single You have time for you When you go back to me When you go back to me Is that something That a woman would say Is a valuable asset From rent To shopping I am doing my own rent I am doing my own shopping I am doing everything But then again at this other point You find we are splitting bills But then again Pia There is another aspect of relationships Can be expensive At some point And at the same time Those who pay bills On behalf Of those who are expensive You might find you are spending too much On your partner Or you are spending on yourself And your partner You have another added Added thing you are spending on So it can be two ways It can be a good thing It can be a bad thing So it depends from what angle You guys operate here But if you are single Would you say that Financial liabilities Maybe in terms of spending on another person But then again you have to sort out your own bills And you are on your own here No one is doing that for you So you are not free at all What if you are not able to pay bills Come on It becomes a burden Because if you are not able to pay bills Meaning you are saving when you are in the relationship Aksha talker You are left with everything You are in a relationship Check your wife's And pay her balance You have to pay her 155,000 That's the way you do it Because you are the one doing everything How many are awake You have seen instances of whereby You are not able to pay For so long And then 10 years don't they learn to separate And you are wondering She has been saving all through by the way When you spend your money On sorting all the other bills She is busy saving her money So here Hey How much money do you have? Hey When is it a bad thing? It is so sad I mean this is a lady Who is now independent We have broken up She is single And she has everything going on She has everything all planned Because she was saving her for the break up Not really So now when we are done She now starts to Explore I think you are freezing it in a very bad way So let me freeze it in a very good way If someone is kind enough To spend on you And sort out everything for you As a wise lady You save for the rainy days Wow You call them rainy days Now that he is very polite These ladies are very different Do you save For a rainy day So that when you are now independent At least now Who is she? From Okay In my own perspective She depends On you and me We kind of share Because I feel like I spend money on you and me I like doing it my way When we come to live together We have to split You do this I do that We share When you break up you start saying I was doing this for you And you spend it So When you are independent Do you always prepare for being single? Yeah of course You prepare I don't know this Does every lady prepare For being single Ladies Send messages like I never knew You know sometimes Relationships are not that smooth And then you are like You have to break up Now you start Sometimes you have to break up So I must Prepare myself mentally and Financially of course You You have to take care of yourself I know I know I will be single And it must be adventurous to me So I prepare for that I came but I am single I enjoy She knows what she is singing Alright But now What if you are single and They keep on calling you During that time of being single I block you You block Love will be fed Yeah it will be fed I want to break up Let's take a break Now you want us to be together The advantage of being single Is that they can look for you I will be single I will be single You are not including me Maybe I am But I will see you You thought What am I The advantage Of being single So from that aspect You can see several other people If you want to The X Yeah depending You know Sometimes I get angry If I be Meshaw by the way Meshaw There is nothing we are doing here We are headed nowhere So let's just end it So you just end it Whatever you want to pursue Whatever you want to pursue You guys are not on the same page So if you continue dating You decide to separate ways So it's not like you separated ways Because You really didn't do that So when they call And they want to meet up We will meet up We don't have any problem between us We don't have any issue between us So I don't have a problem with that The fact is we just cannot date But we can be friends Okay And now This time of singlehood There is a lot of fishing that goes So Let me use this analogy Some may agree with this, some may not agree with it As a woman you are in the fish You are the fish inside this pond And everybody Everyone is thrown in their hook So it is you To choose Which hook Which baits you will You will take There is this time When now women Now starts They say Who you To talk about that You date this person today You are single and you are weighing out your options Is that good? Is that right? I think it is very correct And I think it is actually What people are supposed to be doing Because the moment you narrow down To one person From the word go You will never know what the other person had to offer Okay So you interview several people And then you guys are vetted And then they pick the best That is exactly what happens My goodness My goodness So This is a parliamentary proceeding So Is not being a player No You are I think you guys are more players No, that is why I am single Now I got many options Yes I am not playing you I am just when you Now I will go with the best one How do you compare You are the person A, B, C and D All interested in you And they have all asked you Out Okay, first I look for You are single You are single That is my first Attraction to someone Then of course Surah How do you compare You are working You are getting a water Date I am not sure I will see Maybe I have a chance Let me try this one Now you are So you are getting a water Date You are 40 So I am going to do a schedule Yes I will go with the best one You are going to get a water Okay Okay Will they know that You are weighing out your options to choose Who is the best man I can tell you I am single I am single I can guide On what to do When I start dating I can do whatever I want You are not on that Do you agree Yeah, I do agree But again as long as I am not dating any of you You guys are free to know that you have competition here It is up to you to upgrade Okay Strong woman I see the aura coming out You are free to know So it is your business You definitely know I am seeing some other people With other identities But definitely you are not alone here You guys are not weighing scale So you guys have to upgrade your game Give your best During this time of single Let me give another example A lady is free To sleep anywhere she wants What do you mean by sleeping anywhere Yeah They do that Why They do that When they are dating with this guy They are having sleepovers Now that she is single She is free Anybody who says She can sleepover She can go there Whether it is Going to Kuala Lumpur Because she now no longer has anybody Who can tell her no I know I think that is now quite a little bit promise Because That is just a It is lack of morals Because why are you sleeping everywhere Because when you go for those sleepovers Everyone knows what you are painting a sleepover If I go to Ram's place today I go to Ken's place tomorrow I go to Craig's place the other day And I am sleeping with all these people It is not right Not at all Some of them don't sleep around with them They just go sleepovers They just go sleepovers I don't know I don't know I don't know how people were brought up But for me That doesn't sit right with me Does it sit right with you? Sleepovers? No Why should I go to a sleepover If I am not dating After I go to sleepover I don't feel good Because my parents are very strict They are not happy They don't like me They don't like me They don't like me Like I am brought up like that So if I go to a sleepover If I go to a sleepover Will my parents think about this one? Sleepovers Are not for me Another example Before that What would you tell a lady Right now When she is single When she is single She doesn't feel comfortable You know what This is my BFF BFF When she is single What would you tell a lady A BFF A boy A girl A boy When she is single A girl A boy A girl or a boy Which one is better We do sleepovers At our girlfriend's place It's never a big deal Like this weekend We are going to a witness place To pick a story That is okay But then again This joke is my bestie The way she says I am the bestie She is the bestie She is chill That's a lie Let's talk about something else During this time of singlehood Like I said No restrictions When you are dating And That guy calls you At a certain time of the night You talk for long hours And One day one time he calls And finds you on another call It could be someone who is Maybe your brother Someone who is Anashida And he will ask you Would you like to know It's very common Or it could be at any time Of the day or even in the night You have to explain yourself Now you are single You are released from such kind of things As a single lady Are you free to talk over the phone As long as you want Can I talk about myself I don't want to talk about people You really don't want to talk about people Talk about you First let me start by Questioning someone I know I think it's just rude It is just rude When I am with someone I am like If someone wants to tell you They will tell you When I call you back I will tell you sorry I have been talking to my mum But the moment you start by asking It comes out as some sort of insecurity Many men do that They do that and I think it is wrong So that is what I think Those are my thoughts I think it is wrong Now that you are single You are free from such ties Free from such ties Yes I can take late night calls But I am very specific to people To take late night calls I think it is more real It lies more towards the friend's side Because If you Are not intending To date someone You have no intention To have something with them If you really entertain them If they are not intending For some reason Especially men They just create this kind of impression Something can work out between us We have this vibe I really don't like giving that impression You are single and you have accepted a call Late in the night What presents you from assuming that? Exactly that is why I restrict myself From taking late night calls Especially from people Would you say it is late? I am not taking late What is it? It is 9.30 You are not taking late night calls You are not taking late night calls You are not taking late night calls Now you are single No restrictions I can pick them They are too sour They are not in the right time I love that I love that Because I am not taking late night calls If he assumes If he assumes That you are interested Will he be the wrong person? No But It is clear to me I am not I am I am not I am not I am not You get me? See I am not taking late night calls I don't want to date I am not taking late night calls I am not taking late night calls You are not taking late night calls That is complicated I see I have to explain to him I pick him Maybe we have to talk about other issues Maybe we have to talk about other issues You search for what you are learning If you are not taking late night calls Maybe we are done You are not taking late night calls I didn't mean to ask you How are you? He said something You are looking good Okay I will pick you I will pick you No two calls I just need two calls Then I don't pick Let me go to Facebook and of course let me take a look at what people are saying in a few as it loads Let me ask one more question and this one comes to you Olivia When it comes to timekeeping there is this notion when you are dating and somebody asks you a reminder What are you saying about me? When you go back home you will talk about me Now you are single, free to roam around the way you want and come back home the time that you feel like coming back home And you thought on that? It is the flexibility that is what you call the flexibility You can come home any time and it will be okay? If you had things to do as long as your safety is assured me I think it's okay Again when you are dating you know what you are signing up for When you are dating you know you are answerable It's not even a matter of being answerable You know like you need to give an explanation to someone like they need to be in the know You just can't live they don't know where you have gone They need to be in the know I think that is just right Like they need to know I have gone to I250 in the morning after that I will be doing this and this and this So my day will be free from this time and this time You know it makes things flow easily But you know we have people who like partying They like going to parties and you see now that they are single Yeah see party all the while as much as you can Because the moment you take a relationship most probably you will be restricted to do that So you can only do these things when you are single So why prohibit yourself then? If you can't find any other time to do them What is your story? You know when you are home and you are busy with your work And of course the activities that you are doing You will be able to find any other time to do them And when you are single You will be single Yes that is what I was thinking When you are in a form When you are going to parties and parties You will be able to find any other time to do them Obviously I am not the type of person to do them And I am the type of person So that is why you are single? Full blown? Yeah why not Alright so let's go to Facebook Let's go to Facebook And of course on our Facebook page you have asked the question I have advantages Alright so this is Matt Matt who is a sailor Attracts from neighbouring communities Poor transport Insufficient fans Language barrier What the hell are you talking about? He is giving reasons Atti is giving reasons? He is giving reasons to why someone would be single Brother Language barrier Antonio can tell us something There is no one to tell me Of how less of a human being I am Freedom to be me I can't afford to lose focus on my dreams Visions, ambitions and desires Yeah I love that I do agree You agree with that? I definitely do agree Because You have more time To explore every other thing you would like to explore If it is starting a business Whatever you want to do Even if it is going back to school You might probably do that very easily As compared to when you are in a relationship And then most of something like marriage You find you have a family into play You have children And you have to factor all these things Before you do anything So you are kind of restricted to what you can do So maybe if I wanted to go and pursue Something outside the country And my husband will be like The country is the children alone So maybe unless you just find Aakara University within here Of how I am But then again when you are single Then it is restricting you to that Definitely Alright I am very happy I am saying one I am happy to have you I am happy to have you And I am happy to have you Anything Two I am happy to have you Any time Alright Khat Khat King Simon Classic I am saying Let me skip that Rash Bashir I am watching live Out of Forty Jesus I am saying Ladies, welcome A lot of peace No one is No one to humiliate you Onajupanga Pua Kiviakor No one will tell you Blablabla Freedom Okay Ilaru Ilaru Ilaru Ilaru Ilaru Ilaru Ilaru Ilaru Ilaru Ilaru Ilaru Ilaru Ilaru Ilaru Ilaru Ilaru Ilaru Ilaru Very brief Being single is not a disability It is not I think it is the time to do the things you wanted to do It is the time to do the highest version The best version of yourself Because you have no... Outside interference So explore Explore While you are single Alright Explore while you're single I love Yes, build yourself Yeah Okay My point of view is do what you want to do. When you go to those parties and now on to the Rudiom time you want to attack, do whatever you want to that time. Yes, that's right. There is a guide. I mean it comes as you go to Rudiom time you want to attack. You don't have to complain. Alright. Thank you so much, Lian, for coming. Penina, thank you so much for coming. I appreciate it. Thank you so much. And of course I wanted to bring this conversation to a close right there on Y in the morning. And of course that is a wrap. Thank you so much for being part of this morning's conversation. We still have more of our program right here on Y254. My name is Ram Gukko. On behalf of everybody that ensured this show was a success. May God bless you. May God bless the work of the hands. Have a fantastic day.