 So in an effort to bring role models onto my channel, I'm really excited to have two special people tonight to share their story about their relationship. It's Sabrina Rising and Beau Bowker. These are both coaches of mine. So these are people that I not only trust for my own, you know, well-being and growth. These are people that I invite in today. So Sabrina and Beau, welcome to being on the channel. Thank you, Jonathan, thank you for having us. Thank you so much, Jonathan. It's an honor and a pleasure to be here. Yeah, we're gonna talk about what it takes to build a healthy relationship and more important, how to manifest a conscious relationship. So let me just be clear, the two of you are in a committed relationship, is that right? Right? Yeah. Yes, yes. In case this is a situation ship or a casual relationship. I mean, it's serious, right? Oh, it's serious. Yeah. Oh, I like that the guy said, yeah, it's serious, you know? Okay, so when did you two meet and how did you meet? Well, we met in the summer and- We first met in April, in spring, right? Yeah. Oh, okay. We met at an event, a gathering for healers in our community. And Bo was facilitating a portion of that day and I was a participant. And so we just met, it was, you know, very amicable. And things, it didn't turn into something until, you know, I think it was June. Yeah. June. Yeah, June, where we, it was supposed to be sort of a casual meetup, you know, Bo had his children and I had my daughter and we went to a festival called VegFest. Here. VegFest? Yeah. Here. And we were, you know, we're just supposed to say hi and, you know, run into each other and it was gonna be really amicable and nothing more than that. And then it turned into a whole day of blended family fun. Our children really hit it off. They clicked immediately. And of course, I think there was a little anticipation of seeing each other as well. Oh yeah, absolutely. I think that was already present, you know? And so, you know, the kids sort of led the way and, you know, they went off and played together and Bo and I, you know, we just kind of fell into co-parenting mode. It was really natural, really flow full, really easy for us to just kind of, you know, join together and spend the whole day. So I wanna jump in because what you've described is so many people are desirous of is an organic way of meeting someone. In particular, you guys met at a workshop. So it was something where you both had a mutual interest in it, you know? And I know my audience and I know so many people are so desirous of like, I wish we could meet organically. I'm getting tired of this online dating way of connecting. So it's great to hear this story. And as I said a moment ago, the two of you met through a shared, like not just a shared experience because you were speaking at it and you were visiting it and stuff like that. But this is also a passion of yours too. This isn't just something, you were just going to some wellness workshop. This is something that the two of you live. Is that right? 100%. I always knew that I would meet the person that I meant to be with while I was doing something that I truly, truly love. It's something that was in alignment not only with the things that bring me joy, but part of what is my value system. And so it was the experience that I had when I met Bo. Yeah, same for me. When I came out of my marriage a couple of years ago, I was like, oh, what do I do now? I've changed so much. My vibration has raised, my frequency has raised. And I'm not going to meet someone at a bar like I did before I was married, you know? Yeah. Yeah, what's that going to be like? Where do I go? And I was like, oh, I'm just going to follow the things that I love and continue to follow my heart. And because I was participating in more high vibrational things, things that aligned with my passion, I knew that it was going to happen at a place like a, it's like I'm going to meet them at a yoga studio or an event, something like that, you know? I think it's an important message for people. Like you meet the person you love doing something you love. Yeah. Really important. I find that often people are disconnected from what they truly love or what truly brings them joy and so on. And I think as you mentioned earlier in the online dating world, sometimes we're so focused on creating that experience of love externally that oftentimes online dating can be disappointing in the type of results that it creates for people. Well, certainly, and certainly I'm in absolute agreement at the same time it happens to be the number one portal people are meeting. And I think one of the critical things is that, you know, that shared passion like the two of you have in personal development, self-help, spirituality, that's certainly something that I'm a desirous of. And it's important to vet people based on not just whether or not you like sushi or you like pickleball, you know? It's more about the form, pardon me, what's that? We have to go deeper for sure. Yeah, we have to go deeper. So, okay, so you guys, your first, you started dating in June, when did you officially become boyfriend and girlfriend? I think- Like, did it happen June 2nd? That's pretty much. It happened on our first date, I think. Yeah. Our first date was with the kids. That was our first sort of encounter. Our accidental date. Our accidental date, exactly. Which I think was really profound because it was, I think it was very reassuring for us to see that our children already really got along and there was a connection there. So that, for anybody who's a single parent out there, that's very meaningful, you know? When you can, when you see your children bonding with your, you know, significant others' children. So, yeah, so that was important for us. And then we had our solo date, about a week later. Yes, they invited Sabrina over for some cacao, which is like a chocolatey plant medicine drink that I serve in ceremonies. And it's very dear to me. It's very heart-opening. It's very grounded. And yeah, we came together in my place. We were trying to figure out like, where are we gonna do it? I didn't wanna have her over to my place at the time. I was like, oh, I'm sort of embarrassed. But I just kept letting it go. I was like, it's all gonna happen perfectly. It's all gonna happen perfectly. Whatever happens, it's how it's meant to go. And so she ended up coming over to my house and you think, all right, we're gonna have cacao for probably two hours. You know, it's gonna be nice and slow and connective. It's a wonderful way to really go deeper, yeah, right away with somebody, whether it's a friend or a potential love connection. And we were together for nine hours, 10 hours, 10. Okay. Now, some people would say, now some people would say that's really fast and that's way too much time. But I also think in your particular case, there was like this, again, I said this earlier, there's almost this shared emotional language that two of you had before you met in particular. And since you mentioned cacao, I just wanna share with everybody a couple things. Cacao is spelled C-A-C-A-O. If you wanna Google it, it's chocolate, but it's a high concentrate of chocolate. And chocolate has some very unique properties in it. I said it, from what I understand, it's almost the equivalent of like the love drug, if you will. Looking along that lines. For everybody watching, I just want you to know, Bo came to my home one day, we did a meditation ceremony centered around cacao. So I, and we'll be putting a link later to learn more about this because, this particular, whether we call it medicine or drink or can't think of what else I would call it, is very, has a very profound experience. So I wanna come back to, you know, we said, I said as a joke, you became boyfriend and girlfriend literally on the first date. What I wanna, what I believe happened based on what you've shared with me is, the two of you made a commitment to explore a relationship together. Like, in other words, that's what that was. You know, it's a commitment to say, hey, look, I wanna explore a relationship with you, you wanna explore, let's explore this and see where it takes us. Is that close to what kind of happened or did it something different happen? Yeah, I mean, I liked, can I answer this? I like to say that we didn't fall in love, we met in love. Okay. And the reason I think that that's so important is because when we do the work to heal ourselves and to sort of prepare ourselves for love, for the kind of love we want in our lives, then, you know, we become more loving. We start to embody love. And then you can recognize that love in another person that's also done that kind of work. And so when two people that are already embodying love and practicing loving themselves actively, you know, every day, meet in that space, it becomes, you know, very magnetic. We recognize each other in love, right? And so there's a recognition of like, oh, you have done work and I have done work and here's where we are and we have this now common language and we can meet in all these amazing places. And, you know, it was only a matter of moments before so many synchronicities started happening and like similar interests and similar likes and similar paths. And even though Beau's spiritual journey looks different than mine, you know, we've sort of met in that place of readiness. And I think that's really important to denote. It's not like we met or like, hmm, let me figure this out. You know, it's not like the ego is present. Yeah. You know, here's all the things that I'm afraid of, right? I don't, that wasn't present for me. Well, and the other thing is too, anything that did come up, any fear that did come up, we explored it together openly. Okay. And I think we had both kind of done enough work and knew ourselves enough. And immediately just being able to see one another enough to know that we could trust one another, you know? Okay. I mean, I felt very quickly, based on what she was sharing, the way she held herself, the way, I could just tell that she loved her. Well, let me, and I apologize for jumping in because I get so anxious. There's like, I want to go question after question after question. You know, what a lot, you know, to those that are watching, you might, this might seem a little confusing when we say the work, you know, and such. And a question I want to ask both of you in a moment would be how you each individually show, showed up to each other. But I think it's really important to address what work, when we say the word work, what did you do individually? And I want to hear from both Sabrina and Bo, or what did you do to prepare yourself so you could be in this kind of relationship because that's what work means. It's like you do this before you meet your beloved so you can enter into love, or as you said, walk into love with a more profound experience. So would you be open to sharing what you did each individually? Oh my goodness, I mean, it started from the beginning of my life, you know. Let's not go that far back. No, no, no, but what I mean is, you know, all of my experiences of loving and losing, that was all preparing me also. It wasn't just about, right, doing the work and exploring things. It was about getting into relationships, making mistakes, you know, falling in love so quickly, things like that, you know. And then having the presence of mind and the sense of self to later look at all that and learn from it, you know. And, you know, I think that for me, breathwork has been huge. Journaling, writing has been huge for me. Sitting with Kakao, which again is like a meditative process, where I've just been able to deal with my own feelings, recognize where I was blocked around love, look at my past relationships and say, okay, this was my part in that, you know. This is where I tripped us all up, right. And they had their own part as well. And this is what I did and this is what I can take responsibility for. And this is what I need to let go of. My stories about fear of abandonment, you know. Fear of not being enough, being self-conscious to fully express what I was feeling and what was on my heart. Letting go of all those blocks that were really just holding me back from expressing and receiving love. You know, Sabrina, before you share, I want to comment for Bo for a second because ladies who are watching this on my channel is predominantly women. I want to share with you something. You know, what you're hearing is a man who went introspective. He took, like he, in those own words, he took ownership in his part of all his past experiences. And he did work to prepare himself for something. Now, I know many of you might think that's rare. I'm going to tell you there are a lot more men out there that do this, okay? For those of you who don't believe it, I know my own journey took me down Mr. Toad's Wild Ride, much of Roller Coaster, quite frankly. But it is through these experience that we men can show up I want to say for, as a king to our queen, if you will, or our God to our goddess kind of thing. Sabrina, what about you? What did you do to prepare for Bo? So, I mean, so much. I think, so I echo a lot of what Bo said in terms of really taking inventory of some of the past relationships that I had been in and what I had co-created. I am a huge advocate for NBC as you know from my work together. Let's go with everybody what that means. NBC means non-violent communication and it's a modality which invites us to really examine what our needs are. And so I took, I spent a lot of time really, there it is, everyone should read it. So, I spent a lot of time really identifying what my needs were. And it took me a long time for anybody watching to really even be aware that I had needs, right? I mean, having been raised in an environment where what was modeled for me was sacrificing myself to make other people happy, betraying my own natural impulses, my own, what I felt was right for me in order to acquiesce the people around me, acquiesce to the people around me. So just really learning to identify what was important for me and taking ownership of that, really setting that standard for myself. I remember the moment when I had, I was in a relationship previous to meeting Bo and I remember the moment when I made that decision to sort of let that go completely and really just open up my heart to something that could really meet all of my needs. And I remember that moment of manifestation if you will, it was like sort of a conversation with God or nature or the universe or whatever you refer to it as, but really being in deep dialogue with this higher power and just like calling in an experience of partnership where I felt like I could be met in all of the areas where I knew that I had never been met before, right? So really I identify what those needs are and being aware of our needs is so important, right? Because oftentimes what happens is we meet someone that we like or that we're attracted to when some of our needs are met and that's great and we stop there, you know, we just kind of like hope that the rest falls into place and it really doesn't work that way. Or we bargain and we say, oh, I can go without that. That's gonna be fine. Right. And so, you know, as far as conscious partnership is concerned, part of being conscious is being consciously aware of what you need and want in a relationship, what needs to be in place in order for there to be sustainable long-term fulfillment and what has to be there in order for two people to wanna grow together, right? And so just to be aware of what my own needs were and putting that out into the universe, I believe help pave the way for us to sort of meet in love as I mentioned earlier. So I wanna share with you something Sabrina in particular, cause you're my coach, you know? I had an interesting awareness. You might get a kick out of this. So, you know, much of the work as a coach I help women uncover their needs or what their true desires are in relationship and to concretize it by putting it in writing. Well, it occurred to me that most people's desires in the form of relationship is somewhat nebulous. It's in their mind, it's floating. It's not concretized. And just like a dream, you know, one of my things I've been doing lately is writing down my dreams. And what's fascinating to me is I can go back a week or two or three weeks later and I can read it and I literally remember the dream. So by getting clear on what, you know, for everyone that's watching, you know, getting clear on what your desires are, what your needs are, and not from the superficial perspective, but from the core of who you are, you know? And when you write it down, it becomes more of a magnetic amplifier to what you want. Which is- If I can just add one more sip, please. Yeah, please. That I think is really important too. The things that we identify that we need or whatever our desires want, if you're creating a little manifestation checklist on your ideal partner, I think it's really important to be able to embody those things. Yes, oh yeah, yes. We should just make a wish list and then feel like unworthy of that person. You know, like there's a part of us even subconsciously that feels like if this person shows up, I don't know what I would ever do with them, right? Like it's important to be able to really show up, you know, as the things that it is that we are asking, right? Like I knew, you know, that I wanted someone who could show up in the same way I do. I want someone who can show up in the same way that I can show up, who can give what I give, right? And so making sure that we are asking and opening ourselves up to something that we fully embody has integrity. It brings integrity to the process and authenticity to the process. Yes, and it reminds me of something that I left out that's like the biggest piece for me. I started loving myself. That's how I made room to have Sabrina come into my life. Yeah. I started, yeah, self love. And you know, it's such a buzz term, but it's the truth. And that's what Sabrina's talking about is love yourself the way that you want to be loved. Yeah. Until you love yourself, it's just not, when someone else does love you, it's not gonna land as deeply Yeah, 100%. Unless you love yourself first, you know? And one of my teachers, Keith Wilson, one of my favorite quotes from him is I had to love myself enough to give myself what I wanted, you know? It's loving yourself so deeply that you become open to receive all of the wonderful blessings that are just waiting for you to really say yes. So, I mean, oh, go ahead. Love is, it's so important to take that like deeply within. Like, you know, it's not just being nice to yourself, like so many people think they love themselves, you know? But when it comes onto it, like, do you love what you see in the mirror? Do you go to sleep at night at peace with the way you've behaved or how you've shown up in the world, you know? Do you love what you do for a living? Do you love how you are with your children? Do you love your body? Do you love, you know, your financial situation? Like, there can be so many ways and areas in which we judge ourselves harshly and all of those inner criticisms can push love away. Yeah. So really quickly, I'm gonna go down a rabbit hole that's gonna be maybe a little difficult for you too. So for everyone watching, be prepared. But really quickly, so I wanna take a commercial announcement really quickly for those watching, Sabrina and Brea are actually going to be hosting an event. It's a love immersion event. I'm gonna post a link right here for those that are watching and there'll be links below to learn more about it. But I just want you to spend not more than one minute sharing with everybody what's coming up for your guys because you guys are jointly doing something together. Okay, you're both taking your professional modalities, putting it together, offering some real love tools for people to embrace love for themselves and in relationships. So again, you get one minute. Let's go. Let's go. Let's have some time. I've guided. Online. Online, it's a virtual workshop. It's a 20 day love immersion that is where we use cacao as this plant medicine that you've already introduced to help us open our hearts and connect deeper within ourselves. Yeah, yeah. It's for anybody who is either in a committed relationship or seeking to just find deeper love in themselves and in their life, or somebody who's seeking that beloved, that partner that they've been waiting for. And so it's a daily practice that you get to do every single day, it's different prompts. Some are meditations. Some are just listening to a song. Some are going outside and being in nature. Some is breath work. It's the inner work that we've been talking about. So for anyone who wants to know what the work is, what do I need to do to get ready for my beloved, this 20 day immersion is a wonderful guided process that gently brings you into that space of setting the foundation to prepare yourself for your beloved. So we invite anyone watching to join us. Okay, so we have a question. It's a little bit, this question is directed to Bo. It's a little bit off, but it's off topic. But I wanna bring it up anyway. Julie asks, is it true after sex, the man likes the woman less and himself more? I want us both to answer this one, okay? Yeah. You go first. I know that feeling, I know that feeling, not with you. And it's, we were talking about something similar to this today, where it's like, oh, yesterday we were talking about this. We were talking about how great it feels to break up with somebody. Yeah. How exhilarating it is. I think I was sharing with you Jonathan about how exhilarating it is to like quit a job and break up from a relationship. Because the part of you that is engaged in those things is not necessarily the authentic aspect of you. Right. Interesting. So it's a similar phenomenon, I feel like, where it's like, oh my God, like, all right, I'm gonna, and I'm doing this thing. And oh my God, this passionate experience and blah, blah. And then it's over. And then you're like, oh my God, what have I done? And it's because you're not in alignment with that person. If that man is, if his heart's in it, then he's not gonna have that experience. I'm gonna share with everybody and I'm posting something in the chat box. So I would say for a significant percentage of my life, I operated from what I could get from a woman and not necessarily what I could give. And certainly someone just posted a comment. It's known as, and then afterwards, what we men experience is known as post nut clarity, which basically means after we ejaculate, all of our clarity comes in. There's actually a great line in the movie, something about Mary that relates to this. I reached a point in my life where I wanted a heart on to go with my heart on. Nice. And this happened maybe a decade or so ago, but really to connect at a heart-centered space with a person because then it wasn't just about the ejaculation, it was about real connection. So coming back to Julie's question, I'd like to think, well, I certainly like to think for myself that's the way I operate. Both certainly operate in the sense that it means something more to be with a partner from a heart-centered place. Well, I think, yeah, and to put a fine point on it as well is to say that for me, it was, I think unconsciously, I was looking for love and subconsciously looking for love. And then when you, and so that's an act of love, right? But when it doesn't match up with love, then it feels weird and it feels a little gross. To me, that was my experience. I wasn't somebody, I mean, I've always wanted to fall in love, and I've done it. And yeah, if it wasn't in alignment, it just felt off and I was like, oh, what am I doing? Why am I sharing this with somebody? I think that's true for women too. I mean, I think it's true for women too. I think it's true for anyone who is having physical intimacy, physical intercourse with someone that they're not necessarily in love with. I think love, a sex in its highest expression is an expression of love, right? In its most sacred form is meant to be not just a physical exchange, but an emotional and spiritual one. And when you don't have that context for it, it can feel very sort of anticlimactic afterwards. It just feels like, okay, well, I don't know if this is the right thing or not the right thing, because we get caught up in the moment of not necessarily taking responsibility for making sure that we're actually getting all of our needs met, not just those temporary ones. Well, since we're going down this rabbit hole, it's interesting because the way I observe it, men biologically are driven sexually, I mean, to some degree, and a lot of men find love through sex, so to speak, and women tend to want to bond. I think when you go at this, when two people approach physical intimacy without real consciousness, without real bonding with another person, without real trust, it really opens up to a lot of potential calamity, if you will, and I don't mean to sound Machiavellian in any way, but there's certainly a lot of discourse that happens when two people enter into it unconsciously, and that's my response to Julie. So I have a question for the two of you. So in the early stages of dating, did either one of you have red flags or any conflicts you had to overcome? And if you did, how did you use NVC to overcome them? So, I mean, were there any even tiny ones that would you be willing to share? And you don't have to, but I'm putting it out there. There were a lot, I think there were a lot of things where we both just put things out on the table. Yeah, that's the one, I mean, we've had, obviously transparency in the beginning of our relationship, and I think both of us kind of came in going, okay, this is where I'm at, and this is, these are my needs, and this is what I'm looking for, and this is what I'd like to create, and we both sort of had the wherewithal and the presence of mind and the conscious awareness to say, this is what works for me, this is what doesn't work for me. And again, I'm gonna advocate for NVC, non-violent communication, because it really is a beautiful way to resolve conflict. So when we share, for example, if Beau does something that will trigger me in a moment, I will say, when you do this, I feel, these are my feelings, because I have a need for, and then I express my need. And so when we share things in this way, it sounds like less of an attack, it's more of an open conversation, like if I feel upset or triggered or sad about something, which hasn't happened a lot, because there's a lot of resonance in our relationship, again, attributed to the work that we've done and the conscious awareness around just creating this relationship in the first place. But I can just say, like I'm having a lot of feelings about this, like I feel this about, I feel that or I feel this. And because of Beau's commitment to listen and hold space, he's able to hold, to listen to what I have to say. And he's interested in what my feelings are, because there is a spirit of wanting to resolve things. I think when two people come together, willing to resolve conflict in the most peaceful way possible, is we're both working towards a much bigger picture of being in harmonious partnership. It's a different thing. Oh God, I'm getting a cavity listening to you too. What? Well, I'm actually tasting the cacao as we speak. And I'm giving you guys a little bit of a hard time because I know a lot of the women are listening to this and go, holy shit, I want a man that I can openly share my feelings and he's not gonna run away and you know, stonewall me or ghost me or anything else. Don't take from your feelings and you'll attract someone who doesn't run away from yours. Wait, say that out loud for everybody again and I'm gonna push you. Don't run away from your own feelings and you'll attract someone who's not afraid of yours. Amen, amen. Hey, we have one more question. That's one of the principles of the course that we're teaching this love immersion. Okay. Which is, you know, your partner is only going to mirror back to you. Exactly what is within you and you're going to get back exactly what is within you. You know, it's gonna be a reflection of what's going on internally is gonna show up for you externally. And, you know, that partner that triggers you, they might have done this a million times in every relationship or they might be just exhibiting these triggers perfectly just for you. Because that is the way that the universe works. We're gonna keep learning those lessons. Those people that say, God, why do I keep, you know, attracting the same a-hole, the same guy who won't do this, the same woman who's just like this because you haven't figured it out yet. You haven't resolved whatever it is within you that is that wound or that story or whatever that is bringing to, that just keeps attracting this experience to you. Hey, by the way, so we've got questions coming in. So we're gonna open it up to questions. So we're gonna rapid fire as these come in. So Jane writes, how did you get to the point to really trust and know each other? Don't you feel vulnerable? Every day of this relationship, we both feel vulnerable. Vulnerability is something we're comfortable with. Right. And that's the key is to get comfortable with being vulnerable. Like, and I think that, you know, what we shared earlier, it's like when you're not afraid of your feelings and you're not judging yourself for having feelings, like, you know, maybe in the early stages of getting to know each other, you know, there might have been a couple of things where I felt sad or I felt afraid or I felt shame. Yes. Do you remember the time he liked something and you got triggered by it on Facebook? He told me about this. Something triggered you on Facebook. I don't remember. Oh, okay. Well, I know you shared it with me. Come back, I'll bring it up. Okay. Well, Facebook can be very triggering. Social media can be very triggering, of course. But, you know, in those moments, you know, I'm trying to think now that you've brought that up, but in those moments where I might have felt afraid or insecure or, you know, vulnerable and so on, you know, I have enough self-respect and self-love, you know, to be able to call him up and say, you know, when I saw this or when you did this, I felt, you know, it brought up this insecurity for me or this emotion for me. And that doesn't mean he's responsible for my insecurities. He's not responsible for my feelings. He's not responsible for, you know, helping me out of those feelings. But because we're in a relationship, he's willing to hold space for me while I work through those feelings. And in the meantime, his only job is to offer reassurance. Yeah. By the way, repeat exactly what you said one more time for everybody. When, say that again, when this happened, because I want you to teach NBC for a second. Oh, okay. So when you did whatever the thing is, okay? It's really important that we quote the event without the observation or the judgment, right? Yeah. We can't say something like, when you abandoned me, and when you ignored me, because that's a judgment. It's like, for example, when you liked this thing on Facebook, whatever you said, you know, I felt insecure or I felt, you know, hurt or I felt embarrassed because I have a need for respect, reassurance, security, safety. I mean, come on. We all need, especially in the beginning when we're building trust, you know, this is the question. How did you get to the point to really trust and know each other? I kept asking for safety. Mm-hmm. I kept asking for it, not in an accusatory way or by, you know, by, you know, in a passive aggressive way. Right. There was no fishing. Yeah. But there were no innuendos. I was very direct about what my needs were. And I think that that makes the relationship both mutually just so much easier to navigate. Yeah. Thank you, by the way. Thank you for demonstrating that. We got more questions coming in. This is an interesting one. Phyllis wants to know how long should a couple be friends before dating as real love? And this is a tricky one because you guys jumped into pretty quickly. I jumped in quickly the last one. I had Joy and Matt on, they jumped in quickly. Is there really a timeline when it comes to love? No. No, there's no timeline. I mean, it'd be nice if there was a formula or a certain right answer, but, you know, there's really no right way, no right time. I mean, yeah, with Sabrina too, I mean, I had a history of jumping into love. And so this time I was gonna do it differently and I was gonna slow play and everything like that, but I also know to go with the flow of life and not fight against the current. And so I was just going with the flow, right? And the flow was rapid pace, right? It was fantastically... Well, hold on a second though. I also wanna say that to be in the flow as we're talking about, and then we make it sound easy, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's really just about getting all the fear out of the way. So this question, even in and of itself, is like, how do you know when it's okay to move from beyond friends into dating and then real love? It's like, when is it, the real question is when is it safe for me to love? Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, right? When is it really safe for me to actually love? And the fact of the matter is, is that if you're afraid of love, it's never gonna be really safe. Right. There'll never be enough safety unless you learn, we learn individually, you know, I'll speak for myself to not be afraid of love, to not be afraid of getting hurt, to not be afraid of rejection, to not be afraid of experimenting with my feelings and, you know, being vulnerable so that I can make sure that I am with someone who can meet me there, right? And I want everyone to be, to have that standard for yourself, you know? Yeah, well, it occurs to me though, Sabrina, that, and I only speak to the fact that I have mostly a female audience. Oftentimes they'll jump in emotionally before trust has been built, before there's been a demonstration by the other person that they are safe to be with. Sometimes as a hope that it will shift the dynamic, but this is really tricky piece of the puzzle is, I think, and where I'm going with this is, I think if you trust yourself, it doesn't matter. In other words, the most important thing is to have that trust within yourself. Now I'm asking that more as a question as opposed to a statement, but I want your perception on that. Well, this is what we talked about earlier, if you're asking me specifically about women, I think we exchange romance in the hopes of getting our emotional needs met. We exchange physical love and physical connection in the hopes of getting our emotional needs met. We jump in because we just are so desperate for love that we're not really gauging and making sure that this environment is really an environment that can help meet all of my needs. And when we're not solid within ourselves about what love looks like, this is what it looks like. This is the kind of love I want for myself. This is how I treat myself. And so I'm not gonna sell for anyone who treats me less than this, right? Then once we have that standard in place, then it becomes like, it's important to not walk, to not be afraid to walk away from a potential relationship, our potential opportunity for love if it doesn't fit all the parts. It's really important. And I learned that in both my last relationship and the relationship before that, I learned both those lessons in a very pronounced fashion. It's really important to look at the whole picture and to make sure that all the parts work. Yeah. So, okay, we got more questions. I wanna jump in, but I do wanna make a comment because most everyone knows my most previous experience. Even though jumped in maybe too quickly or whatever, I don't even wanna put a judgment on what happened. I am so grateful for each experience in my life because it's been preparing me for where I'm at today. I think when we hold on to judgments and resentment and anger and bitterness and fear, it's just gonna carry forward in every relationship as opposed to going, what was the gift in each relationship? Okay, question. Do you each have pet peeves and pet names for each other? LOL. Wow, it's like the dating game. I know, right? Yeah, it's a newlywed game, yeah. I have pet peeves. Pet peeves? I like to think, okay, specific to each other? Yeah. No, I don't, I don't. It's okay, it's okay. I'm just knowing it. When you blank, I feel, no, no, I mean, I think I just, I love Sabrina so much that I know it's so sacchariney sweet but she does all the little things that she does. I don't, I just find them sweet and I just find them, I don't really judge them. She leaves every cabinet in the entire house open. I just acknowledge it as a, okay, one of my jobs in this relationship is to close doors. Did you guys ever see the movie when Harry met Sally? Yes. It's been a while, but yes. Okay, but there's something and that brings up this point is that, you know, Sally in particular was very unusual when she ordered food. She had a very unusual way of ordering food and it would take her an hour and a half to order a ham sandwich, which was something that Harry said. At the end of the movie, there's a line that basically says what I most love about you are your neuroses, your peculiarities, you know, even in the movie, you know, in the movie Goodwill Hunting, he talks about our picadillos. It is, I think real love resides in maybe those things that might bug you, you know, I mean, so long as it's not disrespectful or anything like that, but I think that's where real love resides. It's in those unique parts of a person's personality, not their great parts of their personality. Yeah, I couldn't agree more. I mean, you know, since we're being transparent, there is, we have a different pace of life. We operate different pace of life. So, I- I'm slow. No, no, no. I wouldn't say that. Some of us are hummingbirds and some of us are tortoises, you know. So, I like to move through life really, you know, quickly, efficiently, and let's go, let's get it done. You know, I have, you know, a faster pace of moving than Bo does. And so, I create a lot of, and one of the things, one of the gifts of this relationship is that it's really helped me slow down. It helped me sort of like take a pause and just trust that everything's gonna get done and it's all working out. And so, I've had to do a lot of inner adjusting to sort of activate and at the same time, some detachment, you know, like just kind of, like, hey, I can unplug from this and work at my own pace over here while he does his own thing over there. So, it's really important. And we don't wanna give people the idea that, you know, you just meet in love and everything's perfect and there's no work to it. Right, yeah, yeah, yeah. I want, this is why I'm bringing this conversation is because it's important that, you know, you may not have everything that you do similarly, but that there is to allow there to be space for that, right, because it, and to see the gift in it because it's allowed me to sort of slow down and sort of be more conscientious and take more space. Oh, picked up the pace. Well, yeah, that's what I was gonna say is that it's an opportunity for me to take more action, you know, be more swift, be more decisive, you know, these are parts of my masculinity that I'm, you know, continuing to step into more. And I think that that's part of a beautiful relationship is it calls the man deeper into his masculinity and it should call the woman further into her femininity, you know, and obviously we both have the feminine and masculine within us, each one of us, you know, but it's an opportunity to step more into it. And, you know, and because her pace is more accepted in Western society, it's an opportunity for me to also just honor myself and say, oh, okay, like there's that part of me that's judging myself that's saying like, she's probably thinking that you're not fast enough and you're screwing this up. And maybe I think that too. And so wait a minute, let me honor myself and still have that slower pace, which she says, you know, serves her as well. And also let me, you know, meet her in the middle as well. And where can I adjust it, learn things like that? And I think that's part of this whole pet peeves thing. Number one is, yeah, accepting each other. Number two is also having a sense of humor about it. Like anything, you know, we do it, we joke a lot, you know. And, but we do it with love. There's a way to do it, you know, in a joking way that's derisive. And I've certainly done that in my life. And in this relationship at times, and I, you know, but we just try to keep it light. The way to do it is to just continue to ask for what you need. Right? Like if it ever, like for example, you know, maybe sometimes I might be a little abrupt because I'm doing things quickly and I'm feeling impatient. And then Bo will say, I need softness. Okay, I hear that, you know, but I want, I'm interested in hearing that. Yeah, my heart's open, right? I think it's open. Okay. When you're in a partnership, it's, you know, there can't be an ego involved, right? If you, because otherwise you're battling beliefs and you're battling positionality and claim who's right and who's wrong. And there's no real connection that can be had from that kind of dynamic, right? So the real connection comes from just living in your heart and always being willing to come back to your heart, which Bo is excellent at always bringing back to love. So, so my audience, I'm not going to ask this question, but I am going to post it because this is something I repeatedly say on my channel. If you can read that. Yeah, I see it. Yeah. What did I go? No, you have so many videos, but I'm not familiar with this. Okay, so you're not familiar with this, Bo, but I repeatedly say ladies before the penis gets to go inside the vagina build trust. I'm not going to ask you to when you two had sex. I think that's what my audience is asking. But I mean, if you want to go down that road, we're open to it as well. Because, well, there's a lot of taboo around the time and waiting and everything. And I think when two conscious people get together, and again, you know, what is consciousness, right? What is awakeness, enlightenment, all these things. But when two grownups get together, I don't think they have to follow some sort of rule per se. And if you don't mind sharing a little bit about what I just shared, I'd love your feedback on it. Well, I mean, what you said is absolutely true. And it was a topic that came up earlier in an earlier question, but just about building trust. And you know, I trusted Sabrina from the get-go. I mean, yes, there was that, just that I was so drawn to her from the second I saw her. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, but how do we know that wasn't lust or limerence? How do we know this isn't just, you know, another guy who's just saying all the right things? All right, because I took my time, you know, and you know, I took my time in that, you know, hmm, I was present, I was open, but I wasn't pushing. Okay. You know, and that's the difference between when I say, look, I jumped into relationships in the past, I jumped into this one in a sense, because that was the flow of it and that's what it called for. But also it's the only relationship that I've ever had truly that has grown. Every other relationship started out at a nine or a 10 or whatever, and then there's nowhere else to go. And with this one, and it's because of that openness and that trust that was allowed to build over time that I felt safe and I saw that she's not going to, she's not going to bail, you know, she's not going to abandon me, she's not going to abandon herself, which is something that's happened in other relationships of mine where it was like the person couldn't go any further with their own heart. They couldn't be loved. They didn't want it, right? I want it. And so that was a fear of mine, but Sabrina over time and very quickly showed me that she was not going to run. Because, you know, another, when we go back to that red flag and just so everybody knows that it hasn't been saccharine sweet from the beginning, I had a panic attack on our first date. Wow, talked, I want to hear about it. I had a panic attack on our first date. Okay. And I was mortified. I am not somebody who's had a lot of panic attacks in my life. Yeah. And I mean, and I hadn't had one for a very long time, all of the breathing and the drinking cacao really helped those things. Any worry or anxiety subside. And there we were on our first 10 hour date and sitting at a restaurant. And we were talking about something. Like we were talking about masculinity and opening up like men opening up their hearts. And I was listening to her and all of a sudden it started closing in. I was like, oh my God. And I was like, I'm, and if you've never had a panic attack, it feels like you're going to die for no reason. So I was like, oh my God, I feel like I'm going to die. And did I tell you right away? Or did I, I think I told her right away. He told me right away. I could tell. He's like, you were like, there's something going on here. I was like, there's something going on. I'm going to excuse myself. And I went to the bathroom. Did Sabrina pull out her crystals? No, no, no. She didn't, she didn't. But I came back from the bathroom. I was, you know, look, I'm open to being more, to being vulnerable as we talked about. And this was a completely different level where I was like, oh, there's my ego. I'm mortified. And I returned, I returned to the table and I just told her, I was like, I think I had a panic attack. You know, I don't know what this is. It's very strange. And like, and I just expected, I was like, all right, here's the part where she recoils and is like, okay. You know, and treats me like, you know, a science experiment, but she reached out to hold my hand. Aw. And it meant and still means the world to me. Aw. Because in that moment where, I mean, it sounds silly, but I was, I was scared. Like something, and what it was, was that. Yeah, what was it? I was afraid of intimacy. Oh. I was opening up, my heart was opening up to this amazing woman, like it hadn't opened up in a very long time. Yeah. I didn't know, there was part of me that didn't know if it was gonna be possible again. As much as I love and as much as my heart is open and I am committed to that, there was a part of me that wondered, can it happen again? You know, can you go again? You know, is there some part of you that's gonna just hold back for self-preservation? And there was. And so there was that, you know, that little ego voice that I couldn't even hear in that moment that was saying, what if this person shreds you to pieces? What if it happens again? You know, can you take it? And so all I did was, I just showed up and I was honest and that could have been the biggest red flag for her. And I was like, it probably is, it's probably. But she held my hand and she didn't win. And that for me as a man, as a human being, just immediately built so much trust in such a sense of safety, you know? When we're talking about men that are stone walled and some women, they just dive in and some men, they're like, no, and they pull away. They're just scared. They're just scared of getting hurt, you know? Well, it reminds me, you know, it's interesting as you're sharing this, it reminds me of the idea of jumping out of an airplane. And I think to some degree, you know, we talk, no, there is a phrase that says falling in love, right? And there's an element where you're taking that leap, you know, and it's scary. But I think if my coach Sabrina was talking to me, she'd say, you don't have to worry, you have a parachute, you know, that's trust. Like the universe has got your back, the universe has a parachute. You don't have to worry about checking it, it's there. But at the same time, I can speak from personal experience. I know that for at least as a man, I can't speak for women, but I can say, there's been a moment where I like, holy shit, this could be real, like, holy shit. And then like, there's this almost like, it's not a pullback, it's just a temporary pullback. And I've experienced this, but, pardon me? Self-protection, self-protection, but then like, like, like then it's like, hey, stupid, or you know, you shouldn't self-deprecate, but I'm just saying, dude, this is amazing. You need to move forward, you know, don't get me afraid. We have more questions, by the way, a couple of people want to know, do you know each other's love language? Oh, yeah, we talked about that earlier, huh? Yeah, all of them. It's all of them. All of them. I mean, I think, who has only one? I mean, yeah. It's really all of them. Yeah. I mean, it's, I think. What is your major one? Wait, wait, wait, then what's your least two? You know, I can't really pick one because they're all important. I think words of affirmation are important for each other. Well, hell yeah. For both of us, and we're both facilitators, we both hold space, you know, professionally. We both help people connect to their hearts and, you know, let go of pain and fear and so on. So, you know, you can imagine in this relationship, you know, it's very important for us to sort of see each other, to acknowledge each other, to offer words of positive affirmation, to encourage each other, reassure each other. So we both have those needs. And so we're both very well equipped to meet those needs. I think, I think we both have- You guys just had Christmas and I know you're a big, I just learned that you're a big present giver. Yeah, yeah. We both love to give gifts, you know. We both love quality time together. I think that's important, especially because, you know, between the two of us, we have three children, three small children, we have two six-year-olds and a seven-year-old. So it's pretty busy in our house and, you know, we have to make time for each other. You know, and I think, yeah, I think we do actions every day. Yeah, well, and on that, I mean, you know, for me, it was always like, oh, affection or words of affirmation. But I think the reason why it's now all of them for me is because I've learned my needs and I've learned to love myself more and I've learned to allow myself to be loved more deeply. And yeah, I mean, acts of service, I never really would have thought about that, but like the way that Sabrina shows up and supports me, you know, I mean, I feel loved like I've never been loved, you know? Yeah. All right, guys, we actually have our last question and then afterwards I want to spend another minute sharing your love immersion. So here's the last question for the two of you. Do Sabrina and Bo have a love song? There's a couple of Trevor Hall songs. We're big Trevor Hall fans. Okay. And yeah, which we in a different room. We in a different room by Trevor Hall. Okay, that's the actual song name, okay. We love the early stages of our relationship and every time I think about it, I think about, you know, the sort of the tone that was set at the very beginning. Yeah, when we first would spend time together, it was just what we called it a vortex because it was like, yeah, it still is. And like time just either flies by or goes so slow. It's wild. And yeah, it's a very beautiful. I'm gonna add one more question. Lighthouse wants to know how long have you been together and are you living together? You guys are planning on moving in together, right? We are moving in. We just, after this call, we're getting the last remnants of my place cleaned up and done and as of today, we officially live together. Oh, congratulations. Thank you. And on that timeline thing, it's only, I'll say, been seven months. Yeah. So, you know, for those of you that, I mean, you know, I think the world by societal standards, by world standards, you know, as Beau said it's only been seven months and, you know, the idea of taking your time and, you know, making sure that everything is exactly what it needs to be and, you know, being overly cautious, you know, we feel that these are fundamentally fear-based standards, you know, that are put in place that really conserve a lot of people. It really depends on where you are in terms of your own self-awareness and your own, you know, what you're, if you're aware of what your needs are and the kind of, if you're clear on what it is that you're creating and if you're really serious and intentional about creating partnership, then maybe you need some of those safeguards in place, you know, and obviously, you know, I honor anybody's process and path into love. And for us, it's just been, you know, easy and flow-full and resonant from the beginning. Yeah. I mean, if I didn't feel safe in this union, it would be crazy, but I feel so safe and secure and I just trust her and I trust myself at this point too. You know, it took a long time to trust myself in love. You know, I want to comment because I'm a big proponent, at least going all in and exploring a relationship together. Like either go all in or, you know, like this current dating environment is one foot in, one foot out. I'm just really not a fan of that. Either go all in, see if it works. And look, if you are a sovereign being, you will always walk away with your head high. It's when you give your pow, pardon me. And hopefully having learned something about you. Yeah. And so I'm like, I'm happy for you guys. I'm excited. I want to spend this last minute talking about your love immersion workshop that you're doing together. I put a link there. By the way, everybody, the link to join their workshop is going to be below. It's going to be in the comments and the first, it's going to be in the show notes. You got one minute, share the love immersion workshop with everybody. So it's this 20 day program that is done online is really about falling more deeply in love with yourself, finding that and then being able to expand that love and embody that love where it ripples out into every relationship in your life. And we really invite people to go inwards and to examine their own relationship to love, to look at some of their fears. Maybe some of the participants will be already in relationship. So they're coming with their partners or they're trying to heal their relationship. So they're coming alone and whatever the situation is, whether it's just learning how to love yourself more because you just can't get a grip on exactly what that looks like or having a clear idea of the kind of relationship you want to manifest. We are guiding people to really take a serious look at how they show up, their own relationship to love and really healing themselves so that they can be ready for a deeper experience of love whether that is with themselves or with their beloved. Yeah, I will not profess that I know everything about dating, mating and relating. What I do know is I know some really amazing people on the planet that I'm grateful that I can host on my channel, YouTube being two of those people. I am really blessed to both get to know you both on a professional level but at the same time on a personal level. It has been a true pleasure to have you guys share your story. Will you guys be cool with coming back later on and doing this again? Yes, please. We love being here and we really offer you for the work that you're doing and trying to raise the vibe and bring awareness to dating, mating and relating as you say and it's so important. We just honor you for being willing to reach so many people. Yeah, you're welcome. Thank you, Jonathan. Absolutely beautiful and you're helping a lot of people and yeah, honored to be here, honored to know you. Thank you so much. Well, thank you. So for everyone watching, I hope you found value hearing Sabrina and Bo talk about manifesting a conscious relationship and I think if you do this, you'll actually have a healthy relationship. I wanna thank all that those participated tonight in the chat box and certainly if you got this far watching the recording, check out the links below to join their workshop. We're gonna all say goodnight at the same time. Bye everyone. Bye. Yeah.