 We invite you to enjoy life, life with Luigi, a new comedy show created by Si Howard, and starring that celebrated actor, Mr. J. Carol Nash, with Alan Reedus Beswale. Luigi Vasco left Italy to start his new life in America. He promised his mother that he would write and tell her about his adventures. So now let's read Luigi's letter as he writes to Mama Vasco in Italy. Dear Mamma Mia! In America, people they just like the people in Italy. They're crazy for the little children. All over is a baseball of fields and playgrounds in the parks. And I'm even here about the little stores they got. Where the kids can go inside and swim. Is it called the pool rooms? Mama Mia, I wish you could have seen the younger people. I wish you could have seen all of these younger people. How they play in America. Little kids, they play with the play school toys. Bigger kids, they play with the blackboards, the doctors' sets and the crayons. And they also got a construction of sets, magic boxes and electric trains. These are toys for the biggest kids of all, the fathers. But the reason I'm writing you these things is because it's the past week I've been collecting the money for a wonderful thing. That's to build a recreation center for all of the kids in the neighborhood. Everybody is giving me nickels, dimes, pennies and a dollars. But a Pasquale is the one to give only one thing, is a daughter also. I'm ashamed for my countrymen a Pasquale. He should have given no money. So before I'm going to my night school class, I'm going to ask him once more. Luigi, my friend. Hello, Luigi, hello, hello. Hello, Pasquale. Pasquale, for the last time. Are you going to give him the money for these children? Sure, Luigi, I'm not going to give him money for the children, especially if they're my grandchildren. Pasquale, you went together with no grandchildren. Who's the fault, is it that? Look, Luigi, I'm going to have nothing against the kids, but if you like them so much, why don't you marry Rosa? Don't answer that. Pasquale, please, I'm going to come here to talk about a marriage. Now they're going to go out and come in again. Pasquale, from the people in this neighborhood, and they haven't got much money, I was able to collect the $25. But from you, the richest man here, I'm no able to get the one and a penny for the kids. Pasquale, if I'm going to go out now, I'm going to come back in and no more. No, Luigi, don't be a stupid green horn of boob. Instead of collecting it for somebody else, collect it for yourself. In this world, the big fish eat the little fish. Big animals eat the little animals. The little fellas are always getting swallowed up. The whole world is full of cannonballs. Pasquale, is it your last chance? Last chance, the last chance. Always you sound like a bartender five minutes before 12 o'clock. Goodbye, Pasquale. Wait a minute. What do you got in your hand there? A phonograph for record? Yeah, Pasquale. By Mario Lanza. I'm a hear it in a horror which is a house so he's a lander to me. Mario Lanza? Uh-huh. That's an afternoon movie to pitch a star. Oh, Pasquale, what a beautiful voice he's got there. Last week I went to the movies, I saw him in a picture, and when he's finished singing, I was almost a client. Why? Somebody was a stealier popcorn? Pasquale, how can you talk like that? Just to listen to this record. Shall I stay? I got no time. No, wait, I'll play you on a phonograph. Just to the finish. No. He's a beautiful, uh-huh, Pasquale? Oh, watch. Luigi, don't think you're going to soften me up so I'm going to give you any money. You stop over the record. That's your trouble, you're too soft. Always listening to this opera music, symphonies, and on Sundays to this harmonica orchestra. Pasquale, that's the filler harmonica orchestra. When I'm a-hearted, a filler wasn't a player. Luigi, if you want to think of a beautiful music, I think of my Rosa. Don't she remind you of a beautiful song? Huh? I say, don't she remind you of a beautiful song? Yeah, that's right. Mule train. Luigi, that kind of talk is certainly ain't going to give you no money for the children's a separation of center. Pasquale is a recreation of center. You want to separate me from my money. That's a separation of center. But, Pasquale, don't you believe in just the doing of kindness for somebody? Luigi, I'm a sick of hearing that kind of talk. Nobody's ever did a kindness for me. When I'm a step off of the boat, the first thing somebody was a hand to me was my work at the papers. Fourteen years old, I was a worker in the twelve hours a day pressing with the iron and assured ways to factory. Work, a save, a work, a save. Finally, I buy this a restaurant. That money I'm a god is enough for my kindness. That's a sweat. Pasquale, what do you say is it true? Your life was a hard, and nobody's to show you kindness. Pasquale, doctor, don't you mean that there is some day- Luigi? If anybody was to show me one kindness, any little thing, I would have given you as much money as you already collected. Twenty-five dollars. Till then, you don't see one lad die. But, Pasquale, it's for a little children. This is a recreation center. We'll keep them off of the streets. I know how to keep those kids off of the streets. Send them up on the roof. Send them up on the roof. We'll be all right here. All right, class, class. I'll call the roll. Present. Present. Present. I'm here, but I ain't got no breath. All right, Mr. Schultz. Now, before we begin our lesson, I'd like to find out how our recreation center fund is coming along. Mr. Wilder's class collected forty-five dollars. How are you doing, Mr. Basko? So far, I'm collected only twenty-five dollars. That's not so good, Luigi. We would like to beat Mr. Wilder's class. How much did that Pasquale ship in? Well, uh... Well, Schultz, so far... Uh-huh, he gave nothing. Well, he's so busy. Now, stop covering up for that miser. Pasquale is so stingy. When he gets a cold, he swallows only one way from the four-way cold. You know, Schultz, don't say that. You must have tried to understand that Pasquale is not stingy. It's just that all his life, nobody is a showman in a kindness. And he's lost all the feelings to give. He's like a man with no inner sides. Schultz, you know what is it like to feel empty inside? Yeah, when I had my appendix taken off. Well, it's too bad about Mr. Pasquale, Mr. Basko. Anyway, see if you can't cover the rest of the neighborhood by the end of the week, because we've got to turn in our money. Well, all right, Mr. Spaldinger. Oh, oh, before I forget the horror which I'ma brought to back of your record. Thanks very much. You're welcome. That Lanza has got a voice, huh? Harowitz, it's so beautiful. Beautiful. And I'll give you an idea what the Pasquale is really like when I'ma played him with this record. He's not to say anything. But you should see how his eyes is a light up. His whole face is a light up. And you know what that's a proven? Yeah, he's a human pinball machine. Look, Lovitti, the sad fact is, Pasquale has no feelings. And you're just wasting your time with him. Well, uh, no, no, wait. Pasquale is a love of good music, I'm assured. He said to me if somebody was to show him a little kindness, he woulda give a $25 for this recreation center. What are you getting at, Mr. Basko? I'ma gonna buy him a this Somalia Lanza album. Then that's a proven to him that somebody is to think of him. And somebody is to show him a kindness. And I'm assured he's gonna give it the money. Lovitti, I think you got a good idea. That album costs $5. I'll give my share here. A dollar and a quarter. Well, I'll go along with that. Here's my dollar and a quarter. And here's my. Lovitti, I don't wanna see you lose your face in human beings. Here's my money. Oh, that's so nice. Thanks, thanks, friends. I'ma gonna give him the records then. By the way, Lovitti, Mario Lanza's gonna be a Marshall Fields music department to Mario and Poison, or a graphing his records. Why don't you go there and you can meet him too. What a thank you, Horowitz. I'ma gonna do that. And you'll see you're not gonna be disappointed. The squallies have got the goodness deeper down in the side of him. And maybe it will take something like this to bring it out. I still have to do with this TNT. For the second act of Luigi Basco's Adventures in Chicago, we turn to page two of his letter to his mother, Annipoli. Well, Mamma Mia, I'ma hopin' a lot today. I'ma go on a downtown Marshall Fields music department to buy Pasquale that Mario Lanza album of her records. For Pasquale's sake, I'ma hope he's gonna give her money for the recreation center. Mamma Mia, I'ma sure he can afford this, because once he's showed me his bank book his money is running through six numbers. I'ma sort them myself to stamp the right under the cover. Mamma Mia, I'ma finish this a little later. Right now I'ma go on a tour of the department store. Oh, excuse me, please. Maybe you know where is the record of the department? There it is, right over there. Thank you. May I help you, sir? Yes, sir. Yes, please. I'd like it to buy some records. Certainly. How about a room full of roses? Huh? I said how about a room full of roses? No, thanks. I'ma want to buy flowers. I'ma just to buy records. Yes. Well, we have something very nice. Just came in with the ink spot. With the ink spots? Yes, yes. Well, if you don't mind, I'ma want to clean the record. Please, I'ma come in especially to... Now, wait, wait. I have just the thing for you. What? Why was I born? Don't ask me, ask you, Mamma. Wait a minute. You know it's a record. Don't you follow the hit parade? No, I'ma walk it to what you my feet are. Look, mister, just what do you want? Well, I'ma come in here just to buy Mario Lanza records. Oh, yes, yes, yes. That Midnight Kiss album. Oh, yes, yes. That album is selling like hotcakes. Oh, you sell hotcakes, too. Look, never mind. Here's the album. That's $4.75 plus tax. That comes to $4.88. Thank you. You're welcome. And, Mr. Clark, ain't the Mario Lanza supposed to be here? Oh, yes, yes. He's here to sell some records. He just stepped out, but he'll be back in a minute. All right, I wait. Oh, here he is. Uh, Mr. Lanza, would you please autograph this album? Certainly, be glad to. Well, friend, what are you staring at? I've never seen Hollywood started before. Once I thought I must see Donald Ducker, but as it turned out, but as it turned out, there was a just a plane of chicken. Mamma mia. Mamma mia, huh? But you speak Italian as you recently came. And, in fact, I've been here for a year. It's a great pleasure to meet you. Good luck and happiness. Thank you very much. You're a good person. Uh, is there anything wrong, Mr. Lanza? No, we just discovered we're a couple of lancemen. Now, what would you like me to write now? Can you do me a big favor, please, if you write it down there? Do Pasquale with a kindness from his friend Luigi, who's not having money enough because he's the giver of the recreation. So his friends also know Hollywood's a missus sparring and a Schultz that they all are chipping. Is that all? No, you're also right there. The reason that these people are chipping Pasquale is because they want to show you they're all so friends so you understand what it means to receive a kindness from somebody who's not really interested. Are you finished? No, not yet. And now I'm a hope of Pasquale that you keep you part of the bargain and when you see what's been done for you do what you're supposed to do, give the money for the recreation of Santa. Love, Luigi. Look, why don't you see me some time when I have the weekend off? Excuse, I'm asking too much. Well, please, just to write to Pasquale with a kindness from a Mario Land. Fine. You know, you seem to have quite a purpose in buying this album. Yeah, like you say, it's quite the purpose. Well, here you are. Thank you very much, Mr. Angel. Thank you, and Arrivederci. Arrivederci. Oh, what a kind of fellow he is. Such a nice handwritten. To Pasquale... Watch out! Excuse me, Liza. The album is a 400-floor. All the records are broke. That's the worst thing that could happen. Everything is done for nothing. Excuse me, Mr. Mamma Mia. Oh, Mr. Lanzi, the terrible thing is that your records are all smashed into pieces. Oh, that's all right. It happens in hundreds of automatic record changes. But what am I going to do? Don't worry about that. Will you please give this man another album, Mr. Pasternak? Here you are, sir. Thank you, Mr. Lanzi and Mr. Pasternak. You don't know what this doesn't mean. That's the twice the kindness of a Pasquale. This Pasquale thing is quite important to you. That's very important, Mr. Lanzi. Pasquale is my countryman who's brought to me over from Italy. Today, I'm interested in saving him. You know, this kindness... Well, what you're doing, you don't see very much of this sort of thing today. When are you giving your friend Pasquale these records? 8.30 tonight. All of my friends are going to be there. Tell you what, I'll be there, too. You'll be there, Mr. Lanzi. Mamma mia, how wonderful. My name is Luigi Bascar. I'm a guaranteed shopper, 21 and not the whole estate estate. Well, I'm writing it down now, and I'll be there with bells on. Good. And then we're going to hear you coming. 8.30 tonight. Good-bye. Hello, Luigi. 8.30, was it going to be here, eh? I don't believe you ever met this Mario Lanzi. Well, I don't understand. It's a quarter after nine. You're going to wait till a quarter after 13. He's not going to show up. Maybe this is going to learn you about people. Pasquale, you don't deserve a friend like Luigi. He brought you phonograph records, and all you can do is give him the needle. Listen, Mr. Delicatessen, a man who keeps your nose in your own face. Pasquale, Pasquale, that's no way to talk. After all the Schulz and after the class of the day, all the chip in it to buy you these records. There was a hope that maybe you'd give him a $25 for recreation. Sure, sure. It was very easy for you. You spend a dollar a piece, so I'm not supposed to spend a $25. I'm a too smarter for that. Luigi, don't attack him, because I'm a donor looker, stupid. Then I'm out. Pasquale, that's the one thing I'm going to do. Pasquale, that's the one thing I'm going to never say that you don't look a stupid. That's a funny thing, when I'm going to say it, it's to come out a different way. Well, it's no use the waste of the time of talking. It's a 9.30. You're trick or did in the work. I'm going to give him money. Good night. Pasquale, sometimes I wish you were born twins, so I could hate you twice as much. Goodbye, Luigi. You're so am I, Luigi. Luigi! Luigi! A burglar is trying to break into your store. A burglar where? Mamma Mia to Maria Lanza! Mr. Lanza! Well, I finally found you, Mr. Mamma Mia. You told me to show up at an antique shop, 21 North Hallstead Street, and you're not there. Oh, I'm a forgot to tell you about Pasquale, it's a spaghetti palace. You mean, you wait in front of my store all the time? Well, I walked around the streets a little. It's like back home. You know, I was brought up in the same kind of a neighborhood in South Philadelphia. Oh, I see. Well, that's another standard of the work. Come inside, Mr. Lanza. How are you, gentlemen, all of my friends? This is Mr. Schultz, Mr. Hardowitz, Mr. Hello, Mr. Lanza. And this, this is Mr. Pasquale. Mr. Pasquale, eh? I've heard a lot about you from your friend. You mean, you was coming to my store just for me? Well, for you and for him. Thank you. Himmel, it's so quiet, you could hear a teardrop. Lanza, I was to see you in that beautiful picture at midnight a kiss. Tell me something. You really kissed the cat with grace in that picture? Well, somebody kissed her and it wasn't Larry Park. Well, Pasquale, here he is in birth. Now, how much are you giving for that recreation then? Eh... Well, Luigi, like I'm a promise to you, whatever you collect from everybody I would give. 25 dollars. Mr. Pasquale, if you gave enough of these kids I'd be happy to sing a song. Well, Pasquale, Pasquale, sing carefully. Mario Lanza is a big star from the movies, from the opera, from the radio. He sells millions of records. For a concert, he must get at least 75 dollars. What are you talking about? That Mr. Lanza gets at least 85 dollars. Oh, no, no, Mr. Lanza must get much more for a concert. Mr. Lanza, how much do you get? Luigi, how much do you want? Pasquale, how much do you grant? Luigi, I may see you with your own words be kind. Pasquale, 100 dollars? Luigi, if you hear Mario Lanza singing of my stars it's worth the twice as much. All right, for 200 dollars. Me and my big mouth. Mr. Lanza, Mr. Lanza, what are you going to sing? Well, I've got a special song for Mr. Mamma Mia here. It's called Mamma Mia. Oh, I hope you don't mind. I'm going to call you by your maiden name. I'll go right ahead. Mario, you don't know how lucky you are tonight. I've got a daughter. Her daughters are not the married. She's very illegible. Mr. Lanza, remember Mr. Lanza is a tight anyone should go home. Luigi, I'm going to introduce him to my daughter. After all, he should do me a bigger favor. I'm going to do him a bigger favor. That's right. The favors are plenty big. Luigi, keep it quiet. If this works out, I'll never have to bother you again. Now I'm going to call her out. Rosa! Rosa! We've got a special guest for you. Rosa, say hello to Mario Lanza. Rosa. This is the famous Mario Lanza. You saw him in that picture. That midnight kiss. What do you say to him? Mr. Lanza and me was... Well, we was made a date and we got a gun now. That's right. Where are you two going? To the movies. To the opera. Excuse me, are you Mr. Luigi? I know, I'm Bob Stevens. Why is Gracie Allen? I'm all prepared to say hello to Mr. Luigi in his native language. Well, I'll say it to you. Bonjour. Bonjour. Well, I've come to talk to you about my husband George Burns. Better known as Sugar Throat Burns at Beverly Hills Nightingale. I think I know what you want, Gracie. You want us to let George sing on this program. That's right. Then our sponsor will hear him and realize how great he is and let him sing on our program Wednesday night. I'm sorry, the answer is no. Oh, this is your first big mistake, Mr. Stevenson. Letting George sing could be the greatest thing that's happened to you since you wrote Treasure Island. You got the wrong answer. I didn't write Treasure Island. Oh, well, then that's your second big mistake. Goodbye.