 What is up my Cranky Crew? It's Ethan from CrankGameplays, and today we are here in a game called Missed Messages. Now, normally when somebody requests a game over and over and over and over and over again Most of the time, I don't really play it unless I really want to, but somebody in the community requests this game So much, so so much. I'm not trying to call them out or anything right now And don't do this in the future other people Because if you just request a thing over and over again, sometimes I may not do it, but I felt like doing it today Just to just to try and make this person stay a little bit. So you know who you are The person who requested this a ton. I hope that this Brings you joy, but this does actually look like a genuinely cool game, which is the reason why I was like, okay, maybe I'll give it a try and I haven't done a game like this in a bit. So We've got some Missed Messages. Perfect for staying inside and finishing my work What a perfect day We've got the laptop. We've got the tea We've got the flags. We've got the plants We've got the mirror and the papers and the outer door and the inner door okay Let's check the laptop. What do we got on here work stuff ax plus by plus C Z equals D. What even is a four-dimensional shape? I need to work, but I'm so bored. I can't focus Is this What is this? Goth GF's iPhone wants to send you a note. Of course. I'll accept my goth GF's note Look at that. Look at that in it Look at that. It's so cute Send meme back send note back go back to work. Let's send a meme back What did I send? I wonder if she'll respond. Thank you for the dog. What's the work stuff? That's all the work stuff is what's this? Another note you're welcome Pastel princesses MacBook Pro. What are you up to? We need to go we need to go back to work I'll do some work, and then I'll start wondering if I'll ever have to do this in real life Where's bill now when I need him to answer my important questions? Let's go See working book God I'm gonna use that in the thumbnail. That's a good one. Let's go back here I want to water these plants plants in rooms have proven health benefits I put a bunch of plants my office that raise the air humidity Reduce toxic elements and can improve productivity and concentration. No, I'm not making excuses for my plant collecting habits my plants They're doing okay Actually, they're doing fine. Some people have kids may and I have plants that are hard to kill I'm assuming may is your girlfriend diversity your goth gf And or my goth gf. Let's go to the mirror I'm surfing looks today. They I just woke up look Anime check Check the papers You all right. Love me. Hope mentor and went well got you boba. It's in the fridge my precious Madoka magic up poster, which really is just a printout. Is that a real anime? God, they're cute and some notes from my friend and roommate may who is both distant and a total sweetheart See let's To announce I'm big gay. I Love tea and that's the tea. Okay. Well, I guess we just well hold on What's the outer door the door to the outside world? Let's go to the bathroom It's poop time gamers. I Do what I gotta do then go back. Okay. Oh Wait, did I hold on? Did I do can you do anything I? Just went why am I here? Maybe I'll come back in an hour to oh, okay Okay, let's go back to the laptop 3.6 contour lines wait. Hold on work stuff 3.6 contour lines are divisions in the graph until vector means magnitude is one Okay Message me back partner Yes, nice, how do I how do I message back? Oh, I don't know what to do How do I message back from that later that night? I went out to meet goth gf Before I left my roommate open the door I know You're leaving. I know you get back probably after nine oh Why? What's up? No reason Okay, bye then wait Before the day ends happy birthday. It's my birthday Did my god my goth gf didn't even say happy birthday dude. No one else remembered. I didn't even remember of course I remember I like the the lo-fi Fucking chill hop in the background of happy birthday. She sang for me sweetly. Thank you. No, thank you for being my friend What's what mean what why are you telling me this? I just thought life is so short. Why not express my appreciation for the people that I care about In that case you're also an amazing friend. Thanks for being my friend, too I'll see you later go by Why did it like cut out her face? Like a picture I met up with my goth gf. She told me her name Oh, so we don't even know them in real life yet We walked to the roof laid out a blanket and watch the stars. Let the time pass, you know That's the sky darkened. I grew addicted to Amy's smile It's getting late. We should head back You're cute. Goodbye kiss a little goodbye smooch in that noise You're the cutest no you See you later. See you I Had I had turned off my phone to save battery on my way back home. I checked my phone You're a great friend. It's not your fault. I'm scared. He's a witty hoser day. I Feel like this is not gonna be Good, I felt cold nervous, but I didn't know why don't come in call the police. They'll know what to do We're gonna open the door. We're gonna see if there's any The door felt heavier than usual as I opened the door My disembodied self watched me move and talk like an actor in the surreal circus I found myself in I overheard strangers and friends alike talk Did you hear what happened? Know what someone committed suicide That's so sad who where? Second floor. You probably didn't know her may Know what that sucks Most pitied way she went but didn't miss her But I remembered her smile her laugh the way she'd be kind in small ways. I couldn't forget her When people knew came into my life. I searched for her in them. I couldn't help it I hope she was still there It was only during the funeral that it really that reality sunk in at the funeral. I heard her singing now sad and slow Her singing when everyone else forgot and her not being there anymore to remember as I listened to her my Disembodied self crushed down to reality the pain hit this time without the anesthesia of shock. This was real She was dead and we were putting her in the ground No one saw it coming. Could I have was there a message I missed? Man, I feel like bad now because I didn't know what this game was about and I started everything off like so Jokey and stuff. I mean this this goes without saying But sometimes I think it's a it's a good It's a good reminder That there's wait. Is she cut out of the the top now wasn't she there before but this this does go without saying that You know no matter where you are in life no matter where You are mentally and even though your brain might be might be fighting Might be fighting you on this like ending your own life is never ever ever the answer and There will always be people that you know will Will miss you and there will always be people who Will be there for you, you know like even Even if it's somebody that you don't know yet like I Remember a few years back how many years ago was that now? So God damn. It was a long time ago. There's probably eight years ago now But I was going through a really hard time and it wasn't anything to this degree, but I posted I posted something on tumblr, and I was just sort of having a really really rough day and someone reached out And she's now a close friend of mine and It's crazy where stuff like that even just sort of shouting into the void like there's always somebody there to listen sometimes you just have to give Give it a chance in that sense, you know and I think especially for younger people as well like It does truly get better no matter No matter where You're at like it does get better and also it It can and will get better You know, but it's it's not gonna nothing's gonna change overnight, you know, it's something it's something that takes time but giving it a chance is The most worth it Thing ever and I just I know I'm not very good with my words, but I just hope that everybody knows that like Knows that they're not alone, and I hope that people can find Friends and find people that can listen through this community And I know that a lot of people already have and I'm really really glad that people have and if you're having any Any suicidal thoughts or anything like that. I'll leave some links in the description, but Just remember I know that I've poorly worded this but just remember that you're not alone and that You have a purpose even if you don't know what that is yet, and even if you don't feel like you do Just know that that your life matters and what you do matters even if you don't see it and Even if you haven't found that yet And even even if you're looking for sort of like a sign to keep going You know, I think I think a lot of people Get to a point sometimes where where they're not able to To do something for themselves because of the way that people think about themselves I know that I have a hard time just day-to-day like even with the smallest things of like giving myself a compliment or giving myself Credit in any way and I can very Easily see how somebody wouldn't want to give themselves a chance or do something to help themselves so if you're thinking about About ending your own life or you're thinking about hurting yourself in any way Don't do it one don't do it for your own self and if you can't do it for your own self Don't do it for me Don't do it for the people Around you who are in your life and if you're at a point where you feel like you're Alone and you don't have anybody don't do it for me Okay So let's make that deal All right, I'm gonna I'm gonna keep playing this game But I just wanted to say that if you feel like you're alone if you feel like you have nobody to talk to if you feel like you know you have you have nobody to Keep going for Make that deal with me. Okay? Keep going We're gonna go again Because we have more mis-messages a Heavy blizzard stretched on for miles in the distance. I saw a figure May it's not safe here May is that you come back She just smiled looking content amidst the dangerous hail as if she was going somewhere better as if she hadn't heard my voice Lost in the blizzard Don't go. Please don't go alone. She disappeared into the snow. I'd miss my chance Wait, so does it not Does it not reset I Woke up in a cold sweat fearful, but not sure why what was that about? Never mind that I should start working Wait, so did it not happen yet? My roommate's door. She used to keep it open now. It's usually closed. I remember that dream. I had I need to work But that dream I can't focus What's this should I accept it? Let's decline. Let's see what happens if we decline I do some work and start wondering when I'll ever have to use this in real life forest Bill Nye I'm just gonna keep declining to just just to see What happens cursed images That's weird. I hear voices Seems like they're coming from our roommates room Door my roommate may getting closer. I hear voices Although my Chinese was bad. I could still Detect an angry Chinese mother when I heard I have no idea what that says Too lazy. Why don't you her mother's fast lecturing Chinese sometimes pause for me a sophomore of affirmation Continued felt like I was listening to something. I shouldn't have so I distanced myself from the door. I Wonder if there's anything that I can do Can I take anything? Hmm Books so many books. They're all literally pockets of Viet Cong in the black in the back of My shelf that don't know the war is over Here's how to play a race a plant piracy for dummies. I'm my favorite memes to movements. I Wonder is there is there anything in My messages. I can't go in the backpack, right? Let's go to the bathroom And let's I wonder Is there anything in here So Door my roommate may Wonder if I should check up on her. Let's knock. I hesitated to knock for some reason. I feared what I might find Hello, yes um Shit, what should I say? Hang out you okay? hmm Let's do you okay. I just wanted to make sure you're okay. I heard noises from your room earlier. Oh, thank you I'm fine. Well, I'm kind of sad, but don't worry about me Do you want to hang out with me in case you don't want to be alone? I'd like that, but I have work to do Take a break you always have work to do should take a break besides we haven't hung out for a long time I miss you. I could use a break to be honest, and I miss you too. Okay. Hold on a sec She went back to her room to get something and she came back. We laid on my bed looking out at the setting sun Let's talk about life What are you up to these days feel like we haven't cut up in a long time I'm a lot and also not much a lot. Sorry. I haven't stayed updated Stayed updated like I'm your favorite TV show. Don't worry about it. I feel like I don't make enough time for you That's okay. You're not obligated to It's your birthday, right? I forgot you remembered. Of course She's saying me happy birthday Thank you for remembering As the years flew by my birthday became like any other day no one else had remembered it either, but she had Let's do how are you? How have you been fine just tired big mood how so I Don't know like a bone deep tiredness day after day. Let's do this. Do you think you're depressed? Maybe I Took anti-depressants a long time ago, but I felt like they didn't work That sucks. Maybe it's the type of anti-depressant. Maybe you need to try a different one Don't take my advice. Actually, I know nothing Neither not just about this but in general I feel you it's a gotten better the tiredness Not really but now I kind of just want to die Are you suicidal? Sorry was that too blunt feel free not to answer. Oh, you're good Yeah, I think about it sometimes feel like we all do though Imagine how it'll go down how it'll look smell the aftermath Whether anyone would care if I was gone not just how I went. How would it go down? You really want me to talk about it? I'd probably cry. I know you're awkward around crying people Hey, me too. Don't worry Yeah, it sucks gun policy makes it hard to get a gun around here If I'd owned a gun, I'd probably be dead a long time ago. I'm scared of other methods I might survive and if I do the pity people would feel the brain damage that I'd have it scary Glad you're alive Maybe it's selfish, but I'm glad you're scared. I don't want you to go. You mean a lot to me Thanks. I had a weird dream Oh, what? It was about you. Actually, it was kind of haunting. I need to hear this You were in a snowstorm. I called for you, but you didn't hear me and I lost you What does it mean? I have no idea, but it's stuck with me. I hope you're okay. I hope you're okay, too, May It's just a dream Here if you're still scared by bedtime, I'll tell you a bedtime story. Okay. Well, yeah bedtime stories What do you dream? What are your dreams like? Disturbing someone always dies like my most recent one it featured you actually in a good or a bad way good Go on There was a massive epidemic. It was gonna wipe out the world. I got infected I was gonna die then you discovered the cure and I was saved That's scary. I always knew I was gonna save the world Yeah, dream you really saved me What were those noises about? Hmm earlier in your room. Oh my mom called. Sorry. Did I bother you? No, she sounded really angry though Yeah She and I Is everything okay with you, too? I don't know every time my mom calls. I feel sick angry Do you want to talk about it? Talk about what? Why she makes you feel that way You sound like a therapist. How are you feeling? Why are you feeling that way? I just want to help you Yeah, I know It was always the golden child when I was young. I was good at everything So my parents never pushed me to work hard at anything As I grew up I started lagging behind because I didn't put an effort The only thing I put effort into was writing they yelled at me when they caught me writing writers weren't engineers or doctors Writing never made would never make any money. Now my life is slowly falling apart instead of listening to me and helping me My parents always yelling at me for wasting time in playing games Oh, thank you for telling me this that's fucked Thanks for listening. I hope they realize that it's normal and okay to get in a rut sometimes regardless I believe you what do you do you write about before your parents made you stop? And God, it's embarrassing. You can tell me okay. You won't laugh promise Harry Potter fanfiction We said you wouldn't laugh Sorry, I'm just surprised. Don't be ashamed. That's awesome. I love Harry Potter if you say so. I do say so Why not do more of that then? Everyone likes Everyone likes writing though any creative art music writing. It doesn't count It's not true. There's plenty successful writers out there, but I'm not them I'd never be able to make a living out of it. My parents would get so angry Would you rather live the way you're currently living or live poor but happy besides who says you're not good enough to make it profitable? I don't know. What are you thinking of? I think I could be a good writer if I worked hard at it, but it's so much easier to give up and just not work Could give up. I see struggle as a hill. I need to climb to get the reward at the other end You could give up or you could get the reward at the other side Motivational speaker much Just had a lot of hills that I've wanted to just give up on Have you ever given up? Nope. Well sometimes if it's something I don't care I couldn't care less about like math, but if I care about it Then I pull through and I never regret it Going to work harder at getting my like my life back together. It's tough though Yeah, it's hard to work on something you don't like give me a math problem And I'll snore give me a computer science problem and I'll look at it for hours Thanks really mean it. I think my parents got into my head. I needed your push anytime I talked more about everything and nothing From tv shows and games to our worst fears and biggest desires Before I knew it evening dawned I gotta go. I have work Yeah, good luck. I'm always down to hang. Thank you for listening to me. It really means a lot Although I also had work. I didn't regret talking with may one bit My store is open. I wonder where she is What's this? Should I accept it? Plains y equals mx plus b After some time I start to lose focus My store is open. I wonder where she is Like scared to check other stuff now Send her notebook back. I think a lot of times sometimes Oh I opened the door to my roommate. May she didn't seem to hear see me Hey, are you okay? I'm fine. I'm sorry. Why are you apologizing? I Be really okay. You don't look okay I need to go Let's just hug Can I hug you? She nodded silently I hugged her. I wanted to say something yet. I didn't want to break the silence After a pause she spoke Thank you. I guess I'm not okay I just say I'm okay because it's a gut reaction. I don't really feel okay But I don't want to bother anyone, especially you. You're so kind I made soothing motions on her back. Thanks for being here Of course, I know this doesn't look good I needed to punish myself. I don't deserve your kindness. I really don't Yes, you do. You're a good person. Of course, you deserve kindness Is there anything I can do? Hug, just hug It's been months since that day. May and I have gotten closer. I'd even consider her best friend In dark moments. We've held each other's hands Although I supported her I didn't want to feel responsible for her I didn't want to want her to be dependent on me So we drove to every therapist in town until we found one she liked one night May hugged me by surprise May, thank you What for? I don't know how to say this without seeming emotionally constipated Thanks for caring about me for listening to me I couldn't tell you before because I was sad, but I really appreciate you Anytime. Thank you too for being my friend. You teach me to be more kind Later that night she gave me a note Both haunting and touching I read I was buried in the blizzard the snow pelted powerful and unpredictable never ending I weakly cried for help and no one came My voice lost in the snow But you saw my messages you grabbed a shovel helped and I could finally open my door There's something to look forward to after all I think it is really easy to uh To miss those messages, you know Because I think when When you need help It's one hard to ask for it, but sometimes you feel ashamed for asking for it or embarrassed or you feel Needy or annoying or whatever um but I think I think just being present Is so important to people And even just asking for help in a in a small way Of of just like hey Will you just listen to me? Or hey, will you just Stay here with me for a few minutes and even just like Just being there for somebody Not necessarily Asking about all their problems But just being present can do so much like just giving someone a meaningful hug or just spending meaningful Moments with people I think is so important and it goes Way beyond what initially you'd think it would do This game is really good you know very Um very real and obviously very dark in some spots, but I think it's important to To remember stuff like this and I think it's important to bring some of this stuff to light sometimes And I haven't played a game like this in a really long time where it's a lot more serious and less Less, you know Funny and wacky and goofy and stuff like that because there's a there's always a time and a place to Be funny and goofy and stuff, but there's also A time and a place and it's important to to play games like this that remind us You know to to reach out to people and to um And to be patient not only with other people, but but with ourselves because it takes It takes time, you know Um I'm gonna I'm gonna end this one here, but I I hope you listen to to what I said before You know if you can't Seem to keep going For you I want you to try and do it for me You know, so just keep going in any way that you Can if you can't do it for you do it for me do it for your family do it for your friends do it, you know make Make a goal and and take it day by day, you know I think I think it's so easy to think of things in a huge grand scheme of things kind of way where You know even just one year is a really really long time In in your head, but just take it day by day You know just try and Make it to tomorrow And then when tomorrow comes Try and make it to tomorrow again You know just keep Keep going Okay, so just make that promise to me if you're If you're feeling this kind of way Just make a deal with me That you'll make it to tomorrow and then You know if you're ever feeling that way again, you can come back to the end of this video and make that deal with me again Just make it till tomorrow. I'll see you tomorrow