 Are you playing with my hair? I'm playing with his hair. Put that on a spool and sew it into something. A beautiful day in the neighborhood. A wonderful day for a neighbor. Won't you be mine? It's so neighborly day for a beauty hood. Welcome to Life Lessons in Film, where today you and I will be discussing a beautiful day in the neighborhood. The Mr. Rogers kind of semi-biopic. They make a story around an interview that he does at this one journalist and they... it's kind of a biopic. Yeah. Yeah, but it was so sweet. Yeah. Wait, are we supposed to do the 22nd thing? Do you see? I told you. Yes. It's brutal. It's, we forget it. Maybe not. Maybe not. Yeah, maybe not. We tried it. Yeah, we're trying stuff. This is an evolving process, you know. And then you gotta be open to whatever sticks. And sometimes it sticks for a little bit and then it starts to just peel. Paper off a little bit. Yeah, yeah. Theme. Wait! Oh, we didn't do that check. No. You're gonna have to pause this time. That's fine. I know it's not fine. I remember. Oh! Oh, no way. Uh, the themes? The themes? You haven't said anything yet, Donnie. Okay, well, you use the same one. You stoned. Touch them. But you added all of the stuff. And yeah, I thought it was really interesting that it was actually, yeah, I didn't grow up in Mr. Rogers, unfortunately. Yeah, unfortunately. But I really dig his philosophy. He's a very inspirational person. And he's someone that, you know, that really embodies it, too. Like, he's not, you can see everyone that works with him is very protective of him because he's kind of, they recognize, here's someone that really does mean all the things that he talks about or how he treats people. It's all genuine, even though the journalist at first, Vogel, was like, who possibly has the energy or, you know, it's not, you're an actor or something. It's a show you put on this character. Yeah, like he said, it's like, you know, the character you play, Mr. Rogers, I don't really understand what you mean, because that's who he is. He's not acting. Yeah, I remember the wife, his wife, she says to Lloyd Vogel, the journalist at one point, when after Lloyd is like, something like you must be hard living with a saint. And then the wife, she says, I don't like referring to him as a saint, because then it seems like whatever he is, this good thing that he is, is unachievable. Like then people just automatically give up, which I loved because initially, I think Lloyd Vogel depicts how people are in general. I think we do tend to err more on the side of cynicism when we see people being good, because it's kind of rare, right? And it's not even to say that people in general are bad. I think a lot of the times we have busy lives and we aren't a lot of the times even able to take the time just to give to each other, even to strangers. So it's always like, you got to get to work, you got to do this, you got to miss whatever, and you got to get to where you're going. So we don't really have time to nurture the goodness of humanity or actually act it out. And so I think a lot of times we do tend to forget. Also, I don't know, I think there's a lot of hurt in people. And so you just kind of forget that people are innately good, because sometimes you'll meet someone who's in a bad mood, you don't know what happened that morning, you don't know what they're going through, but they're mean, and then you just automatically assume that, oh man, the world sucks, people suck, right? And that is a tendency I find in general. Yeah, but yeah, and exactly, the world also doesn't allow people to have enough free time to properly take what would probably be needed to show every stranger you interact with or every person you know an appropriate amount of time just to remind them, I do like you and I remember you, I remember your life and you know, I care and you know, but that's something Sir Roger is able to do is he remembers Lloyd Vogel's wife's name, that he has a kid remembers his kid's name, he remembers that he had issues with his father, and that really kind of got to him to his core, because it's like, why would you even, why would you take the time extra time? Like, why does it matter to you? Mr. Rogers realized that it's important to however he structures his life, he's like, okay, I need to, well, he did say that his kids are grown now, that gives him more time, but you know, to try and structure it in a way so that you have a little extra time, if things go wrong, it's not the end of the world or things, if people need a little extra attention, you can give it, you know, the one thing, I think the film was fantastic, but one thing I think is a weird kind of way of framing it is they kind of really make it seem like when they fight, it was all his fault at the hospital for leaving. For me, I was concerned about the wife's behavior at the wedding the first time, Lloyd, when Lloyd has a fist fight with the dad, and she's like, you know, it's your fault, like why don't you want to take responsibility for this, right? And I'm like, first of all, you're married to this guy, so you should know what kind of person he is. I don't think you'd marry a monster. And so for me, I feel like if your husband has a fist fight with your dad, your go-to is give him the benefit of the doubt, right? Number one, no one just randomly has a fist fight with their dad. If that is happening, there's a bigger problem, and you should be more nurturing to your husband, even if they messed up, like no one obviously, fist fighting is never going to resolve anything. But what that means is that there's so much pain in your husband's heart that he would do something that grave. And so as a wife, I think be supportive, be caring and forget about this big, you know, this bad behavior, because that, you know, the behavior alludes to something even bigger, right? And I think that's where your go-to is to take care of your husband, put your husband first, and not the dad who you've never met ever in life. And so the second thing was allowing the dad to enter their space. I'm like, you know, your home is where you go for respite, right? Like you, this is your sanctuary, this is where you go to just like, oh, finally, the world, no more work, no more people outside who stress me out. And you know that your husband had a fist fight with the dad, there are issues there that you still aren't talking about, and yet you let this guy in to the house. And with the husband not knowing. With the husband not knowing? And he hadn't even met his father's girlfriend of like 15 years. Yeah, like so many problems there. There was like, they hadn't met his son, like the baby, so there was, it was a bad way to get them to reconcile, very. So poorly done on the part, the wife's part. I feel like, and I understand because a lot of people do this, and I am guilty for this in the past too. I think we all have this notion of family being fundamentally good, you know, and you have this, we all believe that if you have family, you are better off when you have better relations with the family than when you don't. And I think that it's definitely true. However, I think that if you, if the, depending on the nature of the issues in the family, sometimes it's better, it's better the other way around. Yeah, sometimes it's better to distance yourself from family. That's just the reality of things. It still hurts and you have to figure out how to move on without your family because your family is your family no matter what and they stick with you. But sometimes it's better, you know, and I think like if you are a mature adult, at this point you should know and stop romanticizing the idea of family as this ultimately good functioning community. If you do want your husband to reconcile with their, with the thought of their parents, especially one who wasn't a good parent, I think that's fair, truly. But if you do, I don't know how effective it would be to force the parent who was basically abusive or neglectful on your parent. It also just kind of, how do you not see how detrimental that could be to your relationship? Because then how do I trust you to protect me and to see that I'm, this person damaged me, basically. If you want me to make amends, like let's take it easy, find out what happened, you know. Don't take things at face value, me just punching my dad, there's more to it. And one other thing that was really, I didn't, I like the dad asking for forgiveness. All of a sudden, if someone, oh god, they asked for forgiveness. Okay, clean slate. We can now start over and we're all good. That is not enough. Sorry isn't enough. Really, you actually have to take action, show the person, I acknowledge what I did. And I think portray the fact of, the fact that you understand the things that you did and how they affected the other person, like actually verbally point these things out to validate this person's experience. Because that's so important. When someone who hurts you says, I hurt you, I did this, and I can imagine or I know, I saw that it did this to you and I'm taking full responsibility and I'm so sorry. Please let me know how else, aside from saying, sorry, like what I can do, I am ready to do that and to help you heal as much as possible and also help heal our relationship. How else will I be able to trust you if you aren't acknowledging, you know, the things that you did, you know, and giving me that kind of closure, I think. It's not enough, even if it's your dad, it's not enough for your dad to just say, I'm sorry, you have to actually mean it. You know what I mean? To cap it off, I like just Mr. Rogers philosophy. I like that it can seem unreal to people that this person is real or it's not an act because they don't understand the mindset the person and the practice and the routines they have. Mr. Rogers figured out a way to be at peace with, you know, it's, he's got a daily living philosophy where, you know, if you're not always worried about what other people are thinking or you're not always judging other people or being frustrated all the time, you can have a lot more peace of mind and you can take things as it comes. And then he even shares a one point when the Lloyd Vogel is like, you know, what do you ever do? Like, do you ever have times when you just want to, you know, you really struggle and you're angry? You know, I have a hard time imagining that. And he's like, oh, sure. Like, you know, fine, but, you know, take it out in a more constructive way because we all have anger emotions. It's normal. It's good to have those. There's usually a sign that something's up and you deal with, but he's like, find it. You know, I get it out with, you know, hitting the deepest notes on the deepest, the lowest notes on a piano and just like get it out that way. And he's like, use swim as fast as you can, which he also does in the movie, you know? So he's, he's self-aware enough about himself and he's in touch enough with when certain emotions comes up. He says, okay, I want to deal with this. I want to be responsible for my emotions and then how to appropriately deal with them as they come up, which is, you know, a sign of a lot of maturity. And even that thing where he talks about like the key playing the lowest keys on a piano, I know that if I did that or maybe you did that, you try that, it wouldn't necessarily work. Yeah, you gotta find what works for you. Yeah, but like also it's not your go-to. You can be trying so many things. You're going to go through a list of things. But I think the, the thing that's also important to note is like, obviously habits are hard to break, right? Because let's say if you weren't someone who's, who actually was doing with stuff in a healthy way and all you ever did was like, get upset, you know, get angry at the person instead of letting your anger out elsewhere, that's your go-to and that's hard to break that habit. And so it's going to take time for a keyboard to do this, to give you the same relief that, that you're, that you're being frustrated and angry used to. So I think a lot of times I know you, for me too, it's so easy to give up in the beginning when you're trying to change these habits and to try and be better, you know, a better person, smash those goals. It's hard. Oh yeah, also he talked about the parent, remember Lloyd Vogel was like your parent, your, your kids might probably struggle to law and have you as your dad, do you remember that? Yeah, yeah. And, oh, that was good. I mean, you could see him kind of feeling like, oh, you know, you maybe brought up a bit of a sore spot, but he's again secure enough with himself to take on these harder questions. And he's like, yeah, I imagine they did, you know, he'd probably had some questions about our conversations with his kids growing up and, and every kid's going to struggle to some degree no matter who the parent is. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. People, the one guy has to actually do this thing, this move where he gets the, him to stop shaking hands with people because otherwise he would just be shaking hands forever. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So he kind of person lives in the moment and really tries to connect. His highest goal seems to connect with everyone as many people as he can. Yeah. Yeah. But I just love how untouched he is by the adoration, you know, he, as much as people just completely love this guy, no matter what, they don't question him. They don't question his goodness, right? Well, except Lloyd Vogel, but the people that are like living somewhere in between are in general very much, oh, we love this man is a saint, right? I love the fact that he doesn't allow himself to, he doesn't, other people put him on the pedestal, he doesn't put himself, he doesn't put himself there, himself there, nor does he truly believe that he's that way. And he's very honest about his shortcomings. And it's a good strong place to be mentally. If you take praise and criticism the same with general praise, general criticism, you don't really bother too much with. Yeah. It doesn't really affect what you're focused on. Yeah. Even if you have issues as a person and you're making mistakes, that doesn't, that doesn't really speak to your character in its entirety. And he's very well aware of that. So, and I like that they depict that because I think a lot of us sometimes when we do get criticized, we start to think, oh my God, does that mean I'm a bad person? But it doesn't mean that you're human, you make mistakes and it's okay. Also love his relationship with the kids or his interaction with the kids, you know, Mr. Rogers, the conversations he talks about, you were just saying. Yeah. Seize them while he looks at them the way he looks at adults. Yeah. Doesn't see them any differently. Yeah. Takes them seriously, doesn't condescend, doesn't disregard them. I do enjoy the fact that he does talk about these hard things because kids, as much as they're kids, they do go through these things and they're forced to have to deal with them. And if no one is saying anything, then they're isolated. And to deal with this thing that they have no inclination whatsoever as to how to even begin to. You're playing with my hair? I'm playing with his hair. So it was so nice. I remember that when he had that kid, remember that kid? I don't know, the kid was sick and was there with the parents and he was just talking to him about like, you are strong. The kid at first was very resistant and then he's just kind of like, yeah, you know, I know you're struggling right now. Physically, you look weak, but inside, I know you're very strong. And the kid was like, oh, folds apart and just, you know, after initially hitting him just goes in for a hug. And I felt that I was like, my God, this poor kid. And they're delaying the show by a lot because he's talking to the kid for so long and trying to get him to open up. And they're like, yeah, it'll start when it starts when he's ready. It just seemed like he hadn't received that kind of interaction from someone, someone who actually sees the struggles that he was having. Because I think a lot of the time, he's obviously very sickly and he's weak and so externally is very brittle and might have been experiencing bullying or whatever because of that kind of stuff. So he in his mind just thinks, okay, I'm not strong, I'm weak or whatever. And so I think it was just kind of nice for Mr. Rogers to acknowledge these things that kids a lot of the times are people in general think of internally, but never actually vocalize. A lot of good can be done by just acknowledging people's experiences. Yeah, that's literally it. Just acknowledge a person's experience. You don't have to be profound, right? Just be lucky to hear you and how you listen and do it. Yeah, show that you listened and you actually received it. That's it. Yeah, so it was a great movie. Yeah, a lot of juicy stuff. Yeah, there was this some yummy substance. Yeah, that's about it. Yeah, those are thoughts. Beautiful day in the neighborhood. And we would love your thoughts on our thoughts. Yes, down below. Let us know. Down below. Yes, until next time. Bye.