 And the cheating effect, if you pull a loop it doesn't exist, you don't lose a turn. It just doesn't come out. In case we're going to see it, I'm going to get it in the right order to see it. Yeah. Yeah. Then you get a 10-year-old suit. That's all he's got. That's all he's got. That's all he's got. That's all he's got. That's all he's got. That's all he's got. That's all he's got. Obviously, 10 and likes. Our time frame. One more. Yeah. Ah, this is going to be a big throw-in. Turn it into a ball. Three, six, seven, eight. And then the baby's going to come out. Yes. I'm serious. I'll tell you. You feel like you're going to pay? And then I'm going to throw this. She is going to throw it up in the right order. You're going to get it in the right order. You're going to get it in the right order. Let's join together in a moment of centering silence. Together for our in-gathering hymn, number 1010. Welcome to the first Unitarian Society of Madison. This is a community where curious seekers gather to explore spiritual, epical, and social issues in an accepting and nurturing environment. Unitarian universalism supports the freedom of conscience of each individual as together we seek to be a force for good in the world. My name is Dorit Bergen, and on behalf of the congregation, I would like to extend a special welcome to visitors. We are a welcoming congregation, so whoever you are and wherever you happen to be on your life journey, we celebrate your presence among us. Newcomers are encouraged to stay for our fellowship hour after the service. You will see persons holding teal, stoneware, coffee mugs. They are FUS members knowledgeable about our faith community who would love to visit with you. An experienced guide will be available to give a building tour after this service. So if you would like to learn more about this sustainably designed addition or our national landmark meeting house, please meet near the large glass window on the left side of the auditorium immediately after the service. We welcome children to stay for the duration of the service, but if you or your child needs to talk or move around, the child haven or commons are good places to retire. The service can still be seen and heard from those areas. This would be a good time to turn off all electronic devices that might cause a disturbance during the hour. I would now like to acknowledge those individuals who help our services run smoothly. Our sound operator is Mark Schultz. Our lay minister is Anne Smiley. Your greeter was Karen Hill. Our ushers were Anne Smiley, Doug Hill, and Gail Bliss. Coffee is being made for you this morning by Chip Quaddy and Lois Evanson. Please note the announcements on the red floor's insert in your order of service, which describe upcoming events at the Society and provide more information about today's activities. And there are some special announcements. Eric Severson ends his internship with us at the end of this month, and we'd like to send him off with our thanks and good wishes. The intern ministry team is hosting a table in the commons where you'll find note paper, pens, and markers to write a message for inclusion in a book that we will present to him at his final time in the pulpit, May 28th. For anyone who missed our fabulous cabaret, there are second chance auction items available in the commons. Please bid early and often. Volunteer signups for next fall's Children's RE classes are looking pretty thin. Please help us change that by volunteering to join a team of three others. To find out where our needs are, or for other information, please talk with Leslie Ross, our Director of Children's Religious Education. She will be in the commons following today's service. As our congregation moves closer to the June 4th vote on Sanctuary, we and congregation, Shireisha Mayim, will be hosting the question and answer sessions that are listed in your program. Please come with your questions and your thoughts about this important decision. Again, welcome. We hope that today's service will stimulate your mind, touch your heart, and stir your spirit. Opening words today come from Gretchen Hayley, that we might hear one another into being. Create here a circle of promise and trust. A safe place where we can be uncomfortable together. A place of grace and forgiveness, bold bravery, and new beginnings. Where we might still name the needful things of our hearts. The missing places of our lives. The dreams yet unfulfilled. Some barely yet clear enough for words. Come, let us be vulnerable here. Human and true and messy. Or try to be just a little. Let the real peek out from its usual hiding places where we might meet each other, see each other, see life for what it is. Still possible, still becoming, still trying to be whole again with our help. Come, let us worship together. I invite you to, let's see here, rise as in body or in spirit for the chalice lighting, which is printed in your order of service. Our own light goes out and is rekindled by the spark of another person. Each of us has caused to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us. And I invite you to greet your neighbors. Many people young or young at heart who would like to come forward for a story, let's do that. Come on down. So how many of you have heard the phrase, lending a helping hand? A few of you? Okay, what does it mean? It means lending a helping hand. Help people, right? That's good. Well, that's what the adult service is going to be about today, is about helping each other. Now, how many of you have done finger painting? Painted with your fingers? How many of you? What kinds of things have you painted? Do you remember? A rainbow? Squashes? Oh, splotches. Oh, yes. So today's story is illustrated. All the pictures are done by finger paint. So I wanted to be able to show you those pictures. They're just beautiful. It's not a very long story, but it's about the things we can do with our hands. And some of the questions may seem a little weird to you, a little complicated. It's about things that we can touch but we can't really see. Things like love. We know it's real, but it's hard to touch. So that's the kind of things we can hear, feel our heart beating. That is very true. Yes. So I'm going to join you on the floor and read this story with you. It's my last chance to tell you a story, so I want to sit with you. So let's all look at the pictures. It's called Beautiful Hands. What will your beautiful hands do today? Will they plant? What can you plant? What kinds of things can we plant? Tomatoes. What else? Lettas. Celery. Flowers. Treats. Oh, trees, yes. Well, we also can plant ideas for people, give people new ideas. Or what can our hands touch? What kinds of things can we touch? Toys. The ground. Bugs. Yeah, we can touch bugs. How about hearts? We can touch hearts. And our own hands. You're right. What can we lift? What can our hands lift? What kinds of things do we lift? We can lift toys. And our sister. Yeah, we can lift those. Right. Well, we can also lift spirits. When people are feeling sad, we can help lift their spirits. Right? What can our hands stretch? Rubber toys. Slime. Silly putty. Play-doh. Uh-huh. Mines. Let's see. We can stretch our imaginations and think all kinds of things. And how about reach? What can we reach? Okay, at the top of your swing set. Yeah. And there are probably things you shouldn't touch. Right? But how about reaching for love? We can reach out for love and love. Yes. Or peace. Or truth. Or faith. Or hope. Or dreams. All of these things we can reach for. And what will your beautiful hands do tomorrow? That's the question. What will your beautiful hands do tomorrow? And I invite you to talk with your grown up friends. Such a talkative bunch. I invite you to talk about all the things you can do with your beautiful hands. Thank you for spending time with me. Let's go to class. These be seated. Some text today is an excerpt from a sermon by the Reverend Tim House in Rockland, Massachusetts. To me, the heart of our religion is not tolerance. The heart of our religion is engagement. Curious, creative, another, and with the world. Theologian Henry Nelson Wyman called such engagement creative interchange. In his book, The Source of Human Good he asks what that we intentionally engage others who have different ways of making meaning. Different values and truths. Not tolerating them. Engaging them. With the intention of enlarging our understanding of what is valuable and true. In creative interchange he says the needs and interests of others get across to me. Transform my own mind, my own desires and felt needs so as to include theirs. Real value what Wyman calls the good is not in what any of us individuals has created, but in the process of ongoing creation that takes place when we honestly open ourselves to one another. Value is created in what happens between us. Creative interchange is a process of engaging our interdependence in a spiritually transformative way. One's Hands by Karen Solvay Anderson. A couple of weeks ago I was proves in football journals and books. I came across a photograph of a lineman. He was watching the field intently. His body hunched against a heavy sleep. His hands free to the elements. I turned the page of the book and there was a close up of his hands bent and mangled covered with scabs, bruises and scrapes. I was fascinated by his hands. Hands he would inevitably have to soothe. Hands that held violence and pain, but also gentleness. I put the book down and glazed at my own hands and thought about them what they touch and experience and create. I already have my grandmother's hands with index fingers twisted slightly inward. I have bulbous veins winding under the skin that speak to my life typing, playing the piano, soothing hurts, applying bandages caressing and daily work. I like to look at farmers' hands or fisherman's hands laboring hands. Hands that speak to the life of the person. I don't want smooth hands. I want mine to speak to my person to my life's work to a sum of my parts. A place I can look and see generations before and after me of work started or incomplete. I have a colleague who is often present with people when they die. Once I asked her what she did did she have some ritual for the passing of a life? She said she helps wash the body. She washes the face as a symbol of what that person has seen. The hands as a symbol of what that person has done and the feet as a symbol of where that person has been. I love that symbolism. Unlike the lineman who can look at his hands and see what he does most of us can forget what it is we do and who we are connected to but it's all there in our hands. Those we touch or greet in welcome and friendship of creation made possible through writing or painting or playing of conversations retold of tears shed in cradled hands. The shakers have a saying hands to work in hearts to God. They believe that your life's calling your work should be no less than an act of joy an act of work is an act of worship. So I stare at my hands and I whisper Amen. He invited us to practice shared striving and shared thriving so it is not entirely by coincidence that today's service focuses on holding on to one another in good hands. This phrase to be in good hands means to be in the safe, competent care of someone to be cared for with great attention. I need to acknowledge though that this title in good hands is a form that we were all born with and still have fully functioning hands when unfortunately this is not the case and lest we over romanticize the metaphor we must remember that human hands have done some terrible things as history and current events have shown. So I offer the image of helping hands to represent generosity to sentiment and commitment to care for others so we all can do regardless of physical abilities. It also is Mother's Day. For those unfamiliar with the history in 1870 Unitarian Julia Ward Howe appealed for women around the world to unite for peace. Her pacifist reaction to the carnage of the American Civil War and the Franco-Prussian War later became known as the Mother's Day Proclamation. But Howe's efforts to establish a national Mother's Day for peace were not entirely successful. Years later the Mother's Day that we know was initiated by Anna Jarvis to honor her peace activist mother Anne Reeves Jarvis who cared for wounded soldiers on both sides of the Civil War and to honor all mothers because she believed that a mother is the person who has done more for you than anyone in the world this I would say is debatable and I feel a need to acknowledge that while many of us have been blessed not all of us have had positive experiences with either mother figures or motherhood and so this holiday can be a source of both joy and sorrow. This service is not meant to focus on mothers rather in the few weeks before we disperse for the summer I thought we might focus on caring for one another holding on to one another and the rituals that help us do that. Each of us has our own daily rituals of greeting and parting a kiss a hug a wave of the hand a handshake a fist bump we may have rituals to connect with one another weekly such as gathering for worship and our exchange of friendly greetings watching a ball game or walking or biking together having conversations over coffee we come together now and then to mark milestones in our lives and in the lives of those we know and love we honor or celebrate rites of passage for births, birth days comings of age school graduations as we see this weekend weddings anniversaries retirements and deaths these gatherings might involve cleaning the house or decorating homes welcoming guests giving gifts telling stories singing songs playing games or sharing meals all of these experiences we have in common serve to connect us over our lifetimes memories of these times will sustain us we Unitarian Universalists are notoriously independent minded organizing us can be like hurting cats which the staff here I'm sure has to and while many of us have chosen helping professions I think we enjoy fending for ourselves most of the time we've been socialized not to ask for help not to impose on someone when we do need assistance we sometimes celebrate rugged individualism at the expense of community and we can forget how dependent we really are on other people one of the challenges of being part of a large congregation is that we can feel disconnected First Unitarian Society offers a host of programs for new and long time members interest groups support groups classes, choirs ministry teams spiritual practice groups despite these offerings and despite a very engaged group of volunteers and staff members it is still possible to feel cut off from others by the hardships in our lives by the ways we cope with those hardships or even by our own stubborn pride we depend fully on others at the beginning of life as we often do at the end of life but we also need help as we all know in the midst of living we are navigating life's uncertainties disappointments and crises this is where ritual love and trust come in where being part of a faith community can help us rituals are the symbolic behaviors we perform before, during or after meaningful events the symbolic behaviors we perform before, during or after meaningful events rituals reduce anxiety increase confidence and alleviate grief even for those who don't believe they do the lighting of a flaming chalice a flower communion as we will have next week a water communion weekly worship and fellowship rituals like these remind us of who we are and to whom we belong my father is one of eight siblings so I grew up with lots of aunts, uncles and cousins gathering at the family homestead most years for Thanksgiving was a tremendous joy for me we would play games hike in the woods go swimming relax and have fun the adults would have their adult conversations and the children would play Thanksgiving dinner was pot luck so everyone brought something to share and before we ate we would stand around the table and go around and say one thing for which each of us is thankful maybe you have that custom as well so in my family the meaningful event was the gathering of the clan the symbolic behavior was renewing our bond of kinship with one another by sharing a little about each other about ourselves in a statement of gratitude this was our Thanksgiving ritual which we shared in an environment of love and trust we gather here in covenant with one another we strive to make our spiritual home a safe space because sometimes our living space or our workplace is not safe and we need someone to confide in, rely on or lean on did you know that First Unitarian Society has 22 lay ministers serving as extensions of the senior ministers that is one lay minister for every 63 members which is actually pretty good the lay ministry program was conceptualized in 1985 and put into practice in 1996 so it's been around a while these volunteers are trained to listen recognize needs be sensitive and empathetic guide or prompt spiritual thinking and provide a confidential caring presence to congregants whenever they undergo stressful life challenges how many of you were aware that this program is available to you some but not all there you go if you are in need if you've been laid off or your parents health is failing or your child is in the hospital or jail or your partner has asked for a divorce for example I encourage you to reach out ministers lay ministers and staff members can help you only if they know about your struggles I also invite you to be more fully present with one another and consider doing so a spiritual practice I've mentioned before Martin Buber's I and thou concept of being authentically and deeply committed to connecting with others engaging in relationship when I think of what feeds my spirit the long term commitment of and to my partner the joy of parenting the communion of choral singing the wonder of nature I realize that each of these requires my being in and I thou relationship so I invite you to consider how sharing expressions of love and trust with one another might serve you even sustain you as a spiritual practice by remembering this I thou and embodying it Unitarian Universalist minister Tom Ohentoll once wrote that we come into existence with our fists clenched as babies but when we arrive at death's door our hands are open and during the intervening lifetime we are summoned to progressively unclench our fists and open our hands in love and concern to all who crisscross our path we are summoned called to love and to serve one another by the golden rule parables, fables, stories songs and scriptures ancient and modern from around the world we also are summoned to service by instinct intuition and conscience we know that the benefit of generosity and service can be reciprocal a study from the University of the south in Siwani, Tennessee suggests that performing random acts of kindness boosts our psychological health by activating the release of dopamine the feel-good neurotransmitter in our brains this is referred to as a helper's high so being motivated by generosity can benefit the giver as much as the receiver most of us I think resonate with Marge Percy's poem to be of use we love those who submerge in the task and move in a common rhythm for the satisfaction of a job well done we yearn for work that is real most of us want to help people serve people and serve them well because we know that is work that is real sometimes though we don't know how to help someone or we feel uncomfortable with their pain so much so that we avoid them or give them advice or rush to immediately fix things without really acknowledging the person's experience author Debra Tannen's research has shown that men are more likely to do this than women which is a topic for another day Parker Palmer among others in an article he wrote a year ago counsels us to resist giving advice or trying to fix things but simply instead be present to one another the human soul he says doesn't want to be advised or fixed or saved it simply wants to be witnessed to be seen heard and companion exactly as it is serving as a companion for people as they are does not mean we shouldn't challenge ourselves shouldn't confront our own unconscious beliefs or biases shouldn't strive for personal transformation or even work to dismantle systemic oppression we should but when we deal with one another we need to be mindful that each of us has a story that each of us bears some untold truth about difficulty or suffering and that we need to have it acknowledged witnessed before we consider solutions Karen Anderson in our second reading suggests that our hands reflect those stories our hands have done so much she says have touched lives of so many people they connect us to past and future generations they reflect all the work we've done and left undone in our lives what we do who we are connected to is all there in our hands she says these are the hands that have touched life have reached out and by them we are blessed so many stories so many minds and hearts that need to be gently witnessed this requires that we engage with one another and this is what we hear are all about Tim Haus in our first reading declares that the heart of Unitarian Universalism is not tolerance but engagement we make meaning in our lives through creative interchange she says engagement is more than tolerance it means welcoming other people's differing values and truths by which we may enlarge our own understanding of what is valuable and true real value he says is not in what any of us as individuals is created but in the process of ongoing creation that takes place when we honestly open ourselves to one another value is created in what happens between us what happens between us and what a piece of work we are truly each of us is a living breathing wonder as today's story suggested dreams planting ideas touching hearts lifting spirits stretching imaginations reaching for love peace truth faith hope and dreams we have it within us to create together a circle of love and trust bravery and forgiveness and even dare I say it save the world and when at times our own light goes out let us seek one another so that our own inner flame might be rekindled with all that lies ahead for this congregation a capital campaign a minister and staff transition discussions about sanctuary and white supremacy continuing work of justice in a changing landscape I invite you to look on these in the months to come as opportunities and growth I invite you to attend to one another take the risk to share your needs and to witness the needs of others when we experience hard times difficult transitions forces that threaten to divide us let us engage those rituals that help us hold on to one another in good hands let us love trust and live with integrity our opening words invited us to be vulnerable here human and true and messy or try to be just a little let the real peek out from its usual hiding places that we might meet each other see each other see life for what it is still possible still becoming still trying to be whole again with our help tomorrow so what will your beautiful hands do tomorrow the work and mission of this congregation is sustained by your generosity we will now take our offering which will be shared with the Girl Scouts of Dane County whether each week as a community with joys and sorrows written on our hearts in this place we are love and we forgive and are forgiven we give and receive in return we come together to find strength and common purpose turning our minds and hearts toward one another seeking to bring into our circle of concern all who need our love and support and so today we take this time to send healing thoughts for Gay Eliason to Ken Ragland who is in the hospital with a broken hip and we come to terms with the loss that we have been feeling for a number of months here at FUS it's been a rough spring today we recognize the family and friends of Anne Nelson whose memorial will be May 18th at 3pm at Oakwood friends and family of Lillian Redding family and friends of Gabriel Rochester for whom many of these flowers are here today thinking of her husband Tim and children Ava and Milo and our thoughts are sent as well to Joan and Becky Burns and family in the death of Carol Burns Stotz Carol was the eldest of Joan and Bill Burns and she passed unexpectedly on May 2nd so I invite you now into a space of quiet and peace to ground yourself in noticing your contact with the chair and floor by sitting up straight by becoming aware of your breathing look at your hands they've been through a lot these hands they have strengths, scars beauty I invite you to remember that it is your hands that do the work of love in the world these hands may hold another's hands these hands may type emails to politicians sign cards of consolation and congratulations these hands may patiently teach quilt beautiful works or write words urgent peace these hands may bathe children, feed elders nurse the ill work the earth or organize communities these hands clasp in prayer open in release grasp in solidarity clench in righteous anger these hands are hands your hands God's hands our hands a great mystery of flesh and intention a great potential of embodied love I invite you into a moment of silence to reflect on all that our hands have done and on those cares of our community and so we remember all the joys and sorrows too tender to share but that live in the fullness of our hearts may we remember that we are part of a web of life that makes us one with all humanity one with all the universe may we be grateful for the miracle of life that we share and the hope that gives us the power to care to remember and to love if you would please rise in body or in spirit for our closing hymn number 1021 please remain standing and take hands with the person next to you belongs to a person whose heart is sometimes tender whose skin is sometimes thin whose eyes sometimes fill with tears and whose laughter is a beautiful sound the hand that you hold belongs to a person who is seeking wholeness and trusts that you are doing the same as you leave this sanctuary may your hearts remain open may your voices stay strong and may your hands remain outstretched Blessed be please be seated before the postulate