 Narcissists pretend to be nice. They pretend to be kind or good-natured. How a narcissist behaves at the beginning of a relationship is very different to how they treat you later on. When you first meet them, they can be very pleasant and likeable. They are curious about you. They ask questions. They have a strong desire to learn more about you. They are very agreeable. They agree with everything you say. They are like all of the same things that you do. They are helpful. They are always trying to assist you and make your life easier. But as time goes by, you begin to see another side of them. This insensitive side of them that feels no concern for your feelings. They can be offensively impolite to you and other people. They can be ill-mannered and not behaving well in social situations. They will often display disrespect by not complying with the social norms or etiquette of a group or culture. Norms that have been established as the essential boundaries of normally accepted behaviour. They will engage in flat-out rudeness towards you and other people. They will have long phone conversations while they are with you. They will spend a lot of time texting or on their phones. They will be unkind to disabled people. They will use foul language. They will disrespect your opinions and interrupt you when you are talking. They will talk too much and make inappropriate comments. They will use sarcasm and insults. They will invade your personal space. You may notice that they have poor hygiene. They will eat with their mouths open. Belch and break wind around you. They will blow their nose while you are eating. They will cough without putting their hands over their mouths. They won't say please or thank you. And they will laugh at other people's misfortunes. Which is all very different to the character they showed you when you first met them. They led you to believe that they were this kind caring character who only engaged in appropriate and respectful behaviour. And that was the person that you thought you were engaged with. Behind the scenes the narcissist can act very arrogant, haughty and superior. They can be very rude, mean, cranky and stubborn. But whenever they go out into public suddenly they are very friendly. So they are very kind and helpful. And this can be very confusing because behind the scenes you never get to see that person. But you can see that they are able to be this charming person whenever they need to. They pretend to be nice. They do this to manipulate people. To mislead them and give them a wrong idea or mistaken impression. Because all narcissists really care about is their image and reputation. They need to feel admired and respected by others. They are always trying to seek other people's approval. Because that gives them narcissistic supply. They use people to make them feel better about themselves. They don't have a genuine interest in anyone. They are just thinking about what they need to do to make you useful to them. They want to be on your side so that you will do what they want to make their lives easier. When you first meet the narcissist they can seem so kind and friendly. It can seem like they are really interested in you. Like they really want to help you. But they always do too much too soon. They always want to rush the process. They always want to develop a connection with you. Before it has the chance to build organically they can seem very impatient. They may avoid talking about their personal problems but they may take an interest in things that have happened in your past. And it may seem as though they care about you or as though they are trying to help you but they are actually just gathering information which they will later use against you. Narcissists will be selective with who they are nice to. They might be nice to beautiful people people with money, power or success authority figures they will be very nice to those kinds of people because they see it as though they may put them in a more fearable position. Narcissists are always lucky to climb the social ladder so they will be extra nice to those kinds of people because they could make the narcissist look good when you have an argument or disagreement with the narcissist. They will want it to be over quickly they will minimise any faults or mistakes that they have made they will try to make you think as though they are listening to you but they are unwilling to engage in any real changes or self-improvement they have no desire or interest to understand you or how you feel they just want to get it over with Narcissists only care about their own timings and preferences they want you to conform to their interests you might have a specific time and place where you do an activity but they will try to take you to a different place or get you to do it at a different time everything has to be done their way and when they want to because they don't care about what my work bears for you narcissists have very shallow opinions they have a dualistic mentality where they make broad generalisations they have relational laziness where they lack any desire or interest to get to know you at a deeper level their opinions are very shallow they are only interested in their own amusement and entertainment they are only interested in you catering to their needs narcissists are chameleons they change their opinions of behaviour according to the situation they can be nice for a minute and then me in the next when they are pretended to be nice all they really care about is self-validation and as long as they think that you are going to validate them they will continue being nice to you but as the relationship progresses you will begin to notice that they cannot connect with you at a deeper level they cannot understand your perspective they cannot tolerate any differences of opinion and their fake nice character will collapse very easily under pressure because it lacks any basis or foundation it isn't real or genuine be cautious of any excessive and insincere praise don't be afraid to slow things down the narcissists will want to rush the relationship to further their own interests you have to recognize that healthy relationships are built upon patience let the relationship build organically be cautious of anyone trying to get you to make quick commitments involving the relationship, your money or time it's good to be nice to people but time will reveal if it's real thank you for watching I hope this video resumed with you please like, comment, share and subscribe click the bell icon and receive notifications for my future videos if you are excited tonight my paypal link is in the video description coaching inquiries you can email me at narcovicoachin at gmail.com thank you for watching and I'll talk to you soon