 The Kraft Foods Company, makers of Parquet margarine, presents Willard Waterman as the great Gildesleeve. Great Gildesleeve is brought to you transcribed by the Kraft Foods Company. The women of America paid quite a compliment to Kraft's Parquet margarine last year. You like Parquet so well, and you serve it so often, you made it the best-selling margarine in the whole country. Here's why Parquet is such a great favorite everywhere. It's the margarine that looks wonderful, tastes wonderful, and spreads smoothly, even when ice cold. Why don't you serve Parquet regularly at your house? Remember to get the quality margarine made by Kraft, delicious Parquet margarine. Mr. Gildesleeve's dating time has been pretty well taken up with Miss Tuttle, a school teacher, but today a long black car switched up to the house across the street, and that pretty Miss Paula Winthrop stepped out. Now Birdie's anxious to see what's going to happen when Mr. Gildesleeve comes home. Even to Mr. Gildesleeve? Hey Birdie, whose long black car is that parked in front of Mr. Bullard's house across the street? Hang on to your heart now, I'll tell you. My heart? Yes. That eight passenger hot rod was driven by an old flame of yours. You mean, can it be? It is. Paula Winthrop? In the flesh and in the ferns. Yeah. There wasn't another passenger with her, was there Birdie? No, sir, she's still single. Just a neighborly interest. Yes. Hi, everybody! Hello, my boy. Hello, Leroy. Leroy, Mrs. Winthrop is home. Yeah, I know. Well, you see babs every day. Why didn't you tell me her mother was coming? I didn't think you'd be interested, Aunt. The way you've been dating Miss Tunnel. Well, like I told Birdie, a neighborly interest. Love's my neighbor, huh? Oh. What's Miss Tunnel gonna say? No, my boy, I'm not burning my bridges with grace just because an attractive, wealthy woman with a big car lives across the street. Young man. Another one of her ships must have come in. Oh? I was talking to the housekeeper over there, and she said Miss Winthrop spent the whole winter on the beach in Florida. That is when she wasn't out in the ocean on a yacht. Yeah, Paula always did know how to live. Yes, sir, yachting, swimming, dancing, deep sea fishing. She doesn't have to go to Florida for fish. She's got one on the line right here. Young man, watch it. I have a date with Miss Tunnel tonight. Mr. Gilsey just likes to look, Leroy. I'll say he looks like all of them. Yes, yes. But just because his head's on a swivel, don't mean he ain't got a loyal heart. Thank you, Birdie. Yes, sir. Mr. Gilsey, you know what you got? You got a swivel head and a loyal heart. There's a light in the window for me. You fine defendable girl. Not as glamorous and cosmopolitan as Paula Winthrop, perhaps, but... My George, I'll bet Paula led quite a life this winter down in Florida. Yeah, I'm pretty proud of myself. We're not rushing over there the way a lot of pushy ex-boyfriends would. And yieldlessly, you have Karen. Oh, hello, Stratmorton. Hello, Gray. Come in. My, it's been so long since I've seen you. Yeah, last night at the faculty chess party. Well, what'll we do tonight? Oh, I thought we wouldn't go out after such an exciting time last night. Uh, sit down, Stratmorton. No, I just sit. I feel like kicking up my heels. Oh. How about a movie? Couldn't we save that for tomorrow night? Tomorrow night? Well... As a matter of fact, I got some popcorn this afternoon. I plan to fix that and make you some hot chocolate. Oh, Grace, I don't want you to fool with all that. Why not go out and get something to eat? Why spend your money when I have everything here? What's a little money? Now, this isn't like you not wanting to sit home by the fire and pop corn. And winter will soon be over. Yeah. By the way, Grace, you've never spent the winter in Florida, have you? Florida? No, why? I just wondered if you'd ever been South. No, I spent one winter teaching school in Southern Indiana. I mean, you've never gone South on a vacation. No. Well, nothing like vacationing in Florida. Have you been there? No, but a good friend of mine just got back. Well, pal, I have seen. Oh, Grace, let's admit that we get in a rut sometimes. I don't consider myself in a rut. But we always do the same dull things. Let's not be afraid to grab some of the glamorous things of life. All right. Tonight, I'll put a marshmallow in your hot chocolate. Oh, my goodness. I slept a lot last night. Home at 10 o'clock. And I think I'll stop in and see if anything interesting has happened to P.D. Hello, P.D. Hello, Mr. Jonas Green. What can I do for you this morning? Well, I was on my way to the office, so I thought I'd stop in and see what's new. Man, I just opened a new container at Tooty Fruity. You care for a cone? You know I wouldn't eat an ice cream cone on the way to the office. Yeah, I put it in a carton and you can eat it after you get there. P.D., stop trying to sell me ice cream. I'm still full of marshmallows. Okay. Yeah, I had a lot of marshmallows last night. I wondered if you were eating them for breakfast. No. I spent a very dull evening, P.D. Bang a towel for you? No, I was with Miss Tuttle. It doesn't sound like a dull evening to me. Well, it just occurred to me that grace is very complacent about life. Things can get pretty monotonous that way. Have you started making comparisons already, Mr. Jonas Green? What's this? I noticed Mrs. Winthrop's back in town. Did you see that car she's driving? Get a car? I thought it was a Pullman coach. Right, George. She lives in a different world. Very interesting girl. Yes, she is. It's hard to dislike a pretty girl with money. P.D., I think I ought to drop over there and say hello. Just for old time's sake. You might even take her out. That's not your favorite place to entertain the ladies. It was in front of a big fireplace. Well, P.D., a girl like Paula has to be taken to the best places and shown off. Well, if you're going to be a show-off, it'll cost money. I'm not trying to show off. I'm just stepping up into the big league. Mr. Jonas Green, I wonder if the water commissioner shouldn't stick to his own little pond. Well, I said, helping that big league, they spend money like water. All you have is the water. Nonsense, P.D. You don't know anything about people like that. You never had any contact with big money. That's what you think. Oh, I used to go with a girl whose father owned a local hotel and livery stable. Oh, my goodness. In fact, we used to go in her buggy. What does that have to do with Paula and me? I'm trying to tell you I could have married Miss Applegate. Miss Applegate? But instead, I married Mrs. Baby and I've never lived to regret it. Good. Of course, I haven't lived much either. Why should I get too interested in the girl who's here today and then Palm Beach tomorrow? George, that's a big car over there in Paula's driveway. It's a temptation. No, I'll just forget Paula Winterfus in town. I'll go in the house, call Grace, and make a date with her for tonight. After all, I've been going with Grace for a year now. What's wrong with an occasional evening of chess with the faculty? They're munching popcorn and marshmallows. Oh. Grace, this is Dr. Morton. Oh, Dr. Morton, how nice to hear your voice. You're about the movie tonight. I hope you're still interested in going. I'd love to go. Great. I wasn't sure you felt like going. Oh, yes, indeed. Looking forward to it. So I'll pick you up about the usual time. I'll be waiting. Yeah, I'll be there. Goodbye. Bye, Dr. Morton. Well, that's that. No, I've got to be there. Hey, Esberty. I didn't know you were home. Yeah, I'm home. When you come home, you usually say I'm home. Yeah, well. So you know why I didn't know you were home? Because you didn't say I'm home. My mind was on making a phone call, Bertie. Yes, sir. Didn't come home early to see me this winter, did you? Well, I did think I'd run over there. Then I said, why waste the time? You call that wasting time? You have. That woman gets pretty every year. She does? Yes, sir. I got a close-up view today. You've been over there? Well, I went over there to return a pie pan, which I thought was bad. And after I got over there, I found out it wasn't mine all the time. Bertie, you were just curious. Yes, sir. And I did something about it. Well, by George, I'm going to do something about it. You know, Harmon's saying hello to Paula. I don't have to make a date with her. I've got to date with her. Yeah. Hello, Paula. Remember me. Why, Throckmorton. How nice to see you. Yes, thank you. Oh, won't you come in? Well, for a minute. Oh, fine. I thought I should come over and welcome you back to Summerfield. Well, you're very sweet. I hope you don't mind the disorder. I'm still unpacking. No, no, not at all. Go right ahead. You're looking wonderful, Throckmorton. Well, I'd never know you. You're so tanned, you know. I've lost a little. Paula, you haven't lost a thing. Throckmorton, you're still a flatterer. You know, I've never seen you. You look so beautiful. Well, thank you. She's prettier than ever. I suppose Florida agrees with me. Well, we can't offer you anything like that in Summerfield. No beach, no yachting. All we have is the reservoir. Perhaps you'd like to go out there some moonlight night. Is there a moon tonight? Tonight? Well, I was only joking. I wouldn't take you to a place as corny as the reservoir. Well, I'd like to see something of Summerfield. Seems I've been away for ages. Yeah, we've missed you. What's there to do in town now? Well, Irving Hostetter and his hip-cats are still playing in the crystal room. We might celebrate your return by going to dinner and dancing sometime. I mean, when it's convenient for all concerned. I have no plan for tonight if you want to go dancing. Tonight? Well? I know. I'll wear the dress I was wearing in this picture. Picture? Yes, here. I just unpacked it. It was taken at the Yacht Club. I don't care where it was taken. Let's go. Just a moment. Last year, when the Kraft folks made a special offer to families serving delicious Parquet margarine, women saved almost a million dollars on Power's Model nylon stocking. Now, Parquet has a new offer that's even more remarkable. Now you can order Power's Model Nylons that are even more luxurious in their styling and an even greater bargain. These new nylons are 60 gauge instead of 51 gauge. That means they have more fine stitches to the inch to make them extra snag resistant and longer wearing. They're guaranteed to be equal in quality to nylon's ordinarily price to the $1.65. But when you buy Parquet margarine, you could order them for only 75 cents a pair. They're yours for less than half price. John Robert Power has designed these nylons to flatter the legs of America's most famous cover girls. They're full fashion for flawless fit. You know their first quality because each pair bears the United States testing company's seal of approval. Full instructions for ordering your Power's Model 60 gauge nylons at less than half price are printed in every package of Parquet. You have a choice of six sizes, two of the season's smartest shades, and two seam styles. Just include 75 cents for each pair you order along with the yellow end flap from a package of Parquet margarine. Tomorrow, be sure to get that delicious margarine made by craft Parquet margarine. You've already got a date, Leroy. That's your uncle. Oh happy when he's got his head in two nooses. Hello Leroy. I didn't know you were home from school. Yeah. Who stutters home from school too. I hear you got two dates tonight. Yeah, that's right. I do have to call Grace. How are you going to get out of it? My boy, a shrewd old trapper always covers his tracks. And I'm so clever I cover mine before I make them. Oh brother, the clever trappers have to big game tonight. What an operator. Ssh, Leroy. This is Throckmorton again, Grace. Yes, Throckmorton. Would you mind terribly if we have to change our plans about tonight? What happened? Well, an old neighbor of mine just got back in town and I'm obligated to go over there this evening. Oh, sorry about the movie. That's all right. I'll go with one of the teachers. Well, you know I wouldn't do this except under unusual circumstances. Like I say, an old friend. I'm sort of a welcoming committee. You explained one. Well, to be seeing you. Glad you understand, Grace. I understand. Goodbye. Goodbye. Well, let's thank Carol. I'll get in and tell her your old neighbor was a girl. There's no use burdening her with the tails, my boy. What if Miss Tunnel sees you at the movie? Movie. Leroy, I'm taking Mrs. Winthrop to dinner and dancing afterwards. Shooting the works, huh? Well, she's accustomed to being royally entertained. Yeah? She lives the way I like to live. I see five, 10, 11, 1150, 75, 12. What are you doing? I'm calling my money. $12. Gosh, you're loaded. Yeah, I could date Grace for a week on this. Do you want a car, Ron, for 50 cents? Leroy, don't try to get any of my money. Besides, I've been thinking about the car. Well, I'd like to get behind the wheel of that job she drove home. Oh, boy, I'd like to ride in that, too. How about me hiding in the backseat? Leroy. Coursage, Doc Horton. You make it look lovelier, Paula. That's a beautiful dress. I'm fond of it. So much. It's too bad you have to cover so much of the dress with those furs. Well, I thought it might get cold later tonight. Where's your car? Shall we go in my car? No trouble, of course. All we have to do is walk across the street, unlock the garage, dust off the seats, and see if it'll start. I've been having battery trouble. Oh, well, why don't we go in my car? It's right here. Here might be a good idea. Quite a car, Paula. Would you like to drive it? Well, Leroy wants to know all about it. Yeah, I mean, uh... Well, you go around and get behind the wheel. Just as you say. By George, I get to drive it. It's a long car. You turned on the ignition. Oh, yeah, let's see what we do next. Oh, better lower the window, I guess, to make signals. Yeah, where's the crank? Oh, you just pressed this button. Whoop! Yeah, I thought we had a bee in the car. Yeah, here's the starter. A lot of horses under that hood. How do you get them to back up? Aren't you familiar with the automatic transmission? Well, I still use the gear shift. Oh, and you move this lever to reverse. Oh, yes. Well, I'll back out into the street. That's a touchy motor. Zeke, power steering. Where's the brake? Bump something. Hope I didn't hurt your car. You just knocked down your mailbox. Oh, well, I'm not expecting any letters. I'm glad you insisted I eat the steak. You know, nothing but the best I always say. What did you think of the service? It was exceptional for Summerfield. Well, when we came in, I slipped the Mater D two dollars. Didn't you see me? Well, you did it so cleverly, I thought you were just shaking hands. No, that was money I was shaking. Shall we move on to the crystal room? Yeah, glad. We can be there in 10 minutes in your car. Drockmorton. Hey, yes, Paula? Well, I just noticed we're almost out of gas. Out of gas? Uh-huh. You better drive in that station on the corner and let me get some. No, no, no, I'll buy the gas. After all, it's your car. At least I can do is to burnish the gas. Well, if it'll make you feel better. I better get out of the car and cut my money. Excuse me, Paula, I'll take care of everything. All right. Yeah, see how I still have a $5 bill. $0.75, $0.80, $0.90. Good evening. Boop. Still a rot? Well, two gallons. Two gallons? Don't you want to wet the bottom of the tank? No, I'll see you here, young man. I could report you to your boss. I own this station. That's why this hurts me so. Well, watch it. I'm sorry, mister. I've been trying to put a motor together all night. And every time I pick up a wrench, somebody comes in for gas. I guess when you said two gallons, something just snapped. You see, that's two gallons. You can hardly smell it. I'm not buying it to smell. How'd you get all the way up from Florida? Somebody push you? Now look, this is my car. It belongs to the young lady. Well, I'll go ask her. She doesn't want to be stopping every five minutes to buy gas. No, wait a minute. I'm buying tonight. Okay. If she gets in the car tomorrow and runs out of gas, she's going to know you're a cheapskate. Yeah, I guess you're right. She's a swell-looking girl. Don't you want to make a good impression? Well, put in five while I make a phone call. Well, now you're a credit to this car. Pushy gas salesman. Is everything all right, Rock Morton? You're all fine, Paula. I have to make a phone call. After I pay for five gallons of gas, I won't have enough left for dancing. And I'll borrow some money from P.V. He'll be home. P.V., are you in bed? No, I'm answering the phone. Look, P.V., I'm out with Mrs. Winthrop, and I need some money. No, why don't you borrow it from her? She's got more than I have. I can't do that. Now, if I come by your house, can you let me have a few dollars? No, I can't. What? I left all my money at the pharmacy, Mr. Gilderstein. Oh? Mrs. P.V. might have some under the mattress, but I wouldn't advise trying to get there. Well, thanks anyway, P.V. You're welcome. Have a good time. Yes, yes. Goodbye. Call again, Mr. Gilderstein. Oh, me. Well, you're ready to go, Mr. That'll be five dollars. Five dollars? No, I asked for five gallons. Oh, I thought you meant five dollars worth. I only have five dollars and eighty cents for the evening. Well, if you want to run over to the drive-in and get some straws, I'll siphon the gas out of the tank. Never mind. Here's your five dollars. What can we do with eighty cents? Doc Morton, aren't you going in the wrong direction for the crystal room? Well, Paula, I'd like to talk to you about that. I came up with a Charlie horse when I made that phone call. Oh? You didn't see the step. Would you just soon settle for a movie? The both theaters right here. Of course. We can always go dancing. Oh, Paula, you're a break. I'll put it in this parking space right here. Eighty cents. Just enough for two tickets. People are coming out. Yeah, we're just in time for the last show. Good. I wanted to see this picture. Well, let's hurry and not miss any of it. Well, Doc Morton, aren't you going to put any money in the parking meter? Money? Parking meter? Well, I don't want to get a parking ticket the minute I get to town. Oh, yeah. Well, I'll put in a nickel. No, I'm five cents short for the movie. Oh, what else can go wrong? Why, Doc Morton? Well, hello, Grace. I didn't expect to see you here. I thought you were spending the evening with your old neighbor. Yeah, well, this is my neighbor. Of course, she isn't so old. Hey, Mrs. Winthrop, I present Miss Tuttle. How do you do? Good evening, Mrs. Winthrop. Drought Morton, you have such attractive neighbors. Yeah, well. I know you two are anxious to see the movie. Nice meeting you, Mrs. Winthrop. Nice meeting you. You, wait a minute. Grace. Excuse me, Paula. Oh, all right. Grace. Yeah? Grace, can I have a word with you? You don't have to apologize, Drought Morton. No, I want to, later. But right now, can you lend me a nickel? 30 seconds. One more reminder about Parquet Margeron's remarkable new nylon stocking offer. With every pound of Crafts Parquet you buy, you can order Power's Model Nylons at less than half price. These new Nylons are 60 gauge instead of 51 gauge, and the 60 gauge are even more glamorous and longer wearing. They ordinarily cost more, too. But you can get them for only 75 cents a pair when you send the yellow inflap from a package of Crafts' delicious Parquet Margeron. Yeah, I cleaned out my wallet entertaining Paula last night. Glad to be calling on Grace again. Won't cost me any money. Yeah, there's something to be said for the simple life. Hello, Drought Morton. Hello, Grace. And before I sit down, I want to pay you the nickel I borrowed last night. Here. Oh, thank you. Oh, but don't sit down. Go ahead. We're going out. We are? Yes, I've been very selfish, Drought Morton, keeping us home when you wanted to kick up your heels. But... I haven't been dancing for ages. Oh, and there's a new steakhouse on the edge of town. But... Excuse me, I'll get my coat. I better use the phone. Can you sneak $10 out of the mattress tonight when Miss Peavey isn't looking? No, no, I wouldn't change that. Good night, folks. See radio network production. The show is written by John Elliott and Andy White. And it's transcribed. Included in the cast are Walter Chetley, Lillian Randolph, Byron Cain, Mary Ship, Gene Bates, and Dick LeGrand. Musical composition by Jack Meakin. This is John Heaston saying good night for the Kraft Foods Company. Makers of the famous line of Kraft quality food products. Be sure to listen in next week and every week for the further adventures of The Great Hilda Sleeves. There are two kinds of delicious Kraft prepared mustard. Mild Kraft mustard, smooth and delicately spiced, and Kraft mustard with snappy horseradish added. And whichever you prefer, remember, when you add a little mustard, you add a lot of tang. Cried on cold sandwiches, hamburgers, frankfurtters, and cold cuts. Enjoy the wonderful sauces you can make for hot meat and vegetable courses with Kraft prepared mustard. Keep both kinds on hand and keep the whole family happy. Get mild Kraft mustard and Kraft mustard with snappy horseradish added at your favorite food store. You bet your life with Groucho Marks on the NBC radio network.