 The Comic Weekly Man, the Jolly Comic Weekly Man. And I'm here to read the funnies to you. Happy boys and honeys. Yes, boys and girls, it's comic weekly time. And here I come right into your house to bring a little fun and happiness. Right out of the pages, I've poked the Comic Weekly straight into your living room. Your friend, The Comic Weekly Man, the Jolly Comic Weekly Man. Well, little Miss Honey, how are you today? I'm just fine, thank you, how are you? And I'm fine too, thank you. Well, that's it. Yes, they are. Now, what's uppermost in your mind today? Oh, why? Why? Well, because last week, Peter taught John and Wendy and Michael how to serve ease. So could be her bunnies. Poked the Comic Weekly? Yes. Very well, I'll read that in just a moment. But before I do, let's listen to this nice man. Now, here we go with Poked the Comic Weekly. And on the first page, under bringing a father, Beatle Bailey. Magic words for the music, please. Very well, my lady. Toot me a toot and tweet me Preetle. And give us music for Bailey the Beatle. Today, Beatle and his friend Killer Diller, who loves the girls, are in town. Killer sees a beautiful girl approach. Killer waits till she's right beside him and then gives her the old wolf whistle. The girl gives Killer the back of her head and goes on down the street. Beatle says, hey, why don't you give up, Killer? You'll never get a date in this town. It'd be better off if you just got your mind off girls. Well, all right. I'll try. Then come on. Let's play a game of pool. Third picture top row, they're in a pool hall. But every time a girl passes, Killer runs to the window and goes, hey, look, look, a dame, a dame. And Beatle says, oh, this isn't working. We'll have to go somewhere without windows. Beatle tries many ways to get Killer where he can't see women, but no luck. Finally, first picture, bottom row, they find themselves in front of the servicemen's club. Beatle exclaims, hey, how about a nice swim at the club? Yeah, that's a good idea. And a moment later, they're inside the club and see the place filled with beautiful bathing suits, filled with beautiful girls. And they see a sign which reads, servicemen's club, bathing beauty contest. And Killer yells, wow, Beatle, you got the best ideas. Beatle says disgustedly, oh, Fooey, I give up. And gives Killer a push. And into the pool, he tumbles. And a second later, Killer comes sailing out the door. And a voice yells, no swimming today. And last picture, Beatle and Killer soaking wet, sit in the sidewalk. Beatle says, oh, you're hopeless. Just then, a beautiful girl comes down the street. And Killer says, oh, I wouldn't say that. I still have lots of hope. Yes, if he couldn't get a girl with his whistle when it was in good condition, I don't see how he can get one with that water, so it's good. I don't. You know that could happen. Yes, it could. Well, I wish him luck. Now let's turn over the page. Go past Little Iodine and Prince Val on page three. Turn over that page. And here on page five of the first section is Peter Pan. Pirates, crocodiles, Peter Pie Pan. Whisk up music for Never Neverland. Peter Pan, the little man from Never Neverland, has come to the Darling household searching for his shadow, which he had lost in the nursery, which of course is the room of Michael, Wendy, and John. Peter found his shadow, and Wendy sewed it back on. And Peter taught the children how to fly. And now they're on their way out of the window with Peter's little friend, Tinkerbell, on the way to Never Neverland. As they go through the window, Peter shouts, come on, everybody, here we go. As they sail by overhead, Nana, the children's faithful dog, looks up an amazement at seeing the children flying over her. And she says, which means, go back to bed at once, you naughty children, but the children fly on. Last picture, top row, Tinkerbell flies by herself, still sulking jealously over Peter's attention to Wendy. And then, first picture, bottom row, up, up, up they go. Past Big Ben, over the Tower of London, above the Dome of St. Paul, and then high over the Thames and up into the clouds. And then Peter points and says, there it is, Wendy, second star to the right, then straight on till morning. And last picture on, they go toward the enchanting island of Never Neverland. Yes, over the clouds and over the bridge and over the tower and away they go on their adventure to Never Neverland. And next week will we see Pirate Hook? I have a hunch we might, so be sure to be there. Oh, I will, I will. Now let's turn over the page and look on page six. Under the little king, there's Uncle Remus. Oh, and look over here. So do I, and so here we go with Uncle Remus and his tales of Brer Rabbit. Say the magic words with me. Hippity hoppity make it a habit to give us music for all Brer Rabbit. Uncle Remus says, Brer Rabbit figures he's found a new way of playing Brer Kubrick. Yes, Brer Rabbit, who is very much in love with Molly Cottontail, is planning a new campaign to quarter. He's writing a note which reads, The arrow was straight, the word is true. Sure is shooting. I loves you. Then Brer Rabbit wraps the note around an arrow and then gets ready to go off to serenade Molly Cottontail, saying, In right in the middle of my serenade, I shoot the arrow up the Molly. In the middle of the moonlight, Brer Rabbit pushing a wheelbarrow, carrying a harp he has made, especially to serenade Molly with, approaches Molly's house singing. Oh, Kubrick leads me here to you and says, you tell me what to do. And he sets the harp on the ground and then standing before it strikes a note, last picture, top row, and begins to sing. First picture, bottom row, Brer Rabbit's voice wafts in through Molly's window. She takes a flower out of a dish nearby and says romantically. When he finishes, I'll throw him this flower. And then Brer Rabbit, finished with his song, aims the arrow with the poem wrapped around it at Molly's window. Of course, you think that Brer Cupid chopped this arrow. And then let's fly with the arrow. Straight for the window it flies. Molly stares furiously at her broken window. Well, I'll fix him. And she throws the flower pot and iron, pans, shoes, rolling pin at Brer Rabbit who dashes down the road, last picture. And she shouts after him. And Uncle Remus says, you can put too much heart in affairs of the heart. After all is open. And instead, shot the arrow right into the window, shattering glass all over her face. Yes, and poor Molly was all ready to be sweet to him and drop him a flower until that glass hit her in the face. Well, next time, maybe Brer Rabbit will catch her when she's on the porch. I hope so. Yes. Well, now look across the page. There's Roy Rogers. Oh, yes, Ruckles. Yes, because last week Roy was helping his friend doleful Hawkins by capturing two tough characters who tried to get the drop on him. And then their boss, a man named Fancy Farrow, rode up and got the drop on Roy. Let's read now and find out. Here we go with Roy Rogers, king of the cowboys. Hi-yip-yo, now here we go with Roy and Trigger. Hi-yip-yo. Fancy Farrow, leader of the crooks, faces Roy and Doleful with drawn guns. Well, looks like I arrived just in time, Doleful Hawkins. You were forcing my men at gunpoint to fix your ore wagon. Hey, boss, look out. But Fancy turns too late. Doleful's nephew, Tim, has doused him with a pail of water. And Roy has the drop on Farrow. Doleful laps. Hey, for lunch, my only nephew did the right thing. Hey, nice work, Tim. Roy says to the thugs, all right, famoose gents, this fight in between your freight lines has got to stop or somebody's going to get hurt. The man mount up. And last picture top row, right off. Fancy Farrow says, and Doleful's pal is right. Somebody's going to get hurt. I'll whip you in creaky head for town. Drat that kid for dousing these new duds. Later in Pine City, first picture bottom row, Roy and the boy, Tim and Doleful, reign in before the Bratton Freight Company, for whom Doleful has a contract hauling ore. Doleful says, like I said, Roy, Fancy Farrow's outfit is setting horns swallowing my boss, Hank Bratton, out of the ore hauling contract we got with the Tomahawk mine. Roy replies, well, let's talk to your boss, Doleful, see if we can't work something out. Roy and Doleful go up the steps to the office. The boy, Tim, says, hey, I'm going out back and play Indian. Well, keep out of mischief now, Tim. I am sick of your monkey shines. Roy and Doleful walk into the office. And that's stopped an astonishment. Where a man lies stretched out on the floor. Hey, great scot, is this your boss? Doleful kneels beside the man. He ain't worse, Roy. He's dead. And last picture behind the building, creaky and bullwhip, Farrow's two men are coming out the rear entrance. Bullwhip says, come on, let's go, creaky. Rogers and Hawkins will be coming this way any second. Just then, Tim runs around the corner and seeing the thugs, throws rocks at him. He head for the hills, Raskin's coming. Creaky exclaims, hey, stop that you pesky little rat. I'm sure you're right. And just what? Well, next week we'll find out if he does. Now it's time to go to the very last page of the first section. So over the page we go, and here's Flash Gordon. Oh, yes, which was ruled by that cruel King Stang. Yes, and Flash was a prisoner of King Stang. But after many troubles and dangerous adventures, Flash finally overcame the King. And now the King is Flash's prisoner. I wonder what'll happen now? Let's read and find out. Here we go with Flash Gordon. Rigger, agadoon, doon, saskum, attach. Let's set music for heroic Flash. Anxious to make peace on Venus, Flash offers a full pardon for the deposed tyrant Stang. But with the pardon goes a warning. Venus must be free. Not only for its inhabitants, but also for visitors from Earth. Stang eagerly promises to cooperate. But already, a plot is hatching in his crafty mind. Vicki, the former queen, is also pardoned and reunited with Stang, her husband. As she is brought to Stang, their first meaningful glance is a secret unspoken pact to regain their power at any cost. Dale, warned by her woman's intuition, begs Flash not to give them their freedom. As Flash stands undecided for a moment, last picture top row is friend, the treeman. Krillia says, don't worry about Stang, Flash. This court of loyal treemen I am organizing can handle any emergency. Flash decides to play safe and answers. Krillia, you better assign a couple of men to keep an eye on Stang and Vicki, just in case. Guards are put over Stang and Vicki. Stang enters his quarters. When the guard follows, Stang boldly offers the startled treeman a fabulous bride. These gems are yours. If you will but deliver a message to my friends. Readily, the guard reaches for the bag of gems, snatches up the message, which contains instructions for an attack on Flash and Krillia. The message is delivered to the necessary people. It gives directions to launch an attack on Flash and Krillia during the meeting of the planetary delegates, which is already beginning the task of choosing a new leader in the great hall of the palace. Flash, last picture, steps to the rostrum to nominate Krillia, unaware of the mortal peril to himself and his candidate. And he doesn't know that an attack is about to be made on him. I'm afraid you'll have to. Next week, we'll find out, though, for sure, if it does. Now it's time for Dagwit and Blondie. Oh, an answer. While you just spread out the first page of the second section, and I'll read Dagwit and Blondie in just a moment. But first, here's that nice man again with something interesting to say. Now here we go again with Puck the Comic Weekly. And on the first page of the second section, Dagwit and Blondie. Magic words for the music, please. Very well, my lady. Ramaphood, amaphom, Zimzam, Zambi, Konjibi music for Dagwit and Blondie. Blondie looks out the window. In? Dagwood says, oh, what's a terrible bottle of rain? It means the children will have. The last picture, top row, the door opens and in come all the kids in the neighborhood. Here they come. First picture, second row, Dagwit says, don't worry, I'll take care of them. They merely need some supervised amusement. And I don't mind to guide them. Good luck. Dagwood goes into the next room where the children are playing. Come, children, pull up chairs and we'll play some nice games. We don't want to play games. That's corny. And the kids all dash at Dagwood, sweep him up and carry him on their shoulders last picture, second row. Ha, ha, ha, ha, we want to play cops and robbers. Ha, ha, ha, ha, I got him, I got him. First picture, third row, they turn a chair upside down. No, no, stop it, stop it, children, be nice. Stretch Dagwit out on it, almost breaking his back. Children, careful, my back, my neck, my feet. And time to the chair. Stop, stop, our ankle. Hey, he's a bad guy and he's tied to the railroad tracks. Yes, and here comes the claim. Get it, get it, get it, get it. 10 minutes later, the kids have taken Dagwit upstairs. Hey, no, no, stop, don't, let me go. And they toss him down the stairway. Ah! Last picture, third row, Blondie staggers down the hall and sees a face drop from the mantelpiece in the living room. Oh, must. First picture, bottom row, the kids have tied a rope around Dagwit's feet and they're hauling him up to the chandelier. No, no, no, please stop, please stop, let me go, let me go. Hey, what a parsie, he caught him. Dagwit's daughter yells, Okay, everybody, pull. No, no, let me go, will ya? At that moment, Blondie looks out the window and shouts, All right! And out of the house, the kids go. And last picture, Blondie goes into the living room and sees Dagwit hanging upside down from the chandelier and she bends down and says to him, Do you see what I mean? Yeah, yeah, I see what you mean. Yes, poor Dagwit, what those children did to him. He looks pretty worn out. Yes, I think I'd rather have a truck run over me than have to deal with all of those children. Oh, I wouldn't say that. Well, I would. Why? Well, a truck is only one. But look at all those kids. Well, you're just children. Yes, of course, I'm just teasing. I love children. Well, now let's turn over the page and look on page three of the second section, Dick's Adventures. Oh, and I'm English in the American's Word War. And he was in the city of New Orleans and he and his friend Major Villier have been captured by the pirate Jean Lafitte. And the... Well, let's read now and find out. Say the magic words with me. Rickety-pack, kazack, kazick. That's the music for adventure is Dick. Noiselessly, a boat glides through the mysterious Louisiana Bayou country, bearing two angry captives of the notorious pirate and smuggler, Jean Lafitte. It's a year 1814 and Dick and a companion have discovered a plot linking Lafitte with the British fleet that is at this moment waiting to attack New Orleans and the Americans. Smiling, Lafitte orders his two captives untied. Last picture, top row, the boat comes to a stop and Dick and the major are untied. They stare at huge alligators that are swimming around the boat. One of the pirates nods toward the alligators in grins. I know you will not be so foolish as to attempt to escape. First picture, second row, Major Villere demands, where are you taking us? But he receives only a charming smile and no answer from the pirates chief. And then they are on their way again. For hours, they continue along the strange twisting bayous from which startled birds rise with harsh cries. Last picture, third row, they emerge into an open body of water. Barataria Bay, fretted with hidden coves and inlets. And now Lafitte's boatman heads swiftly for shore. First picture, bottom row, Dick and the major find themselves in a bustling town of pirates and smugglers. Here Jean Lafitte rules in splendor like an all-powerful king. But last picture, prowling offshore is a fleet of British men-o-war. Lafitte turns to Dick and the major and says, tonight I am giving a banquet in honor of the officers who are hoping to persuade me to betray New Orleans. Yet perhaps I shall change my mind and betray them instead. You will attend as my guests, my prisoners, and as spies. Yes, they're mighty dangerous. And just think, Lafitte is going to be kind to Dick and let him come to the banquet tomorrow. Well, we'll find out more about that next week. Now look below Dick's adventures. There's Rusty Riley. Oh, yes. And he's joined to Carnival where his friend Stove Pipe is. And Rusty discovered two crooks were making plans to do something bad to the owner of the carnival. Yes, but when Rusty overheard the men, it was in the dark, so he doesn't know what these crooks look like. So then Rusty happened to meet the men in the daytime and they asked him if he wanted a job. And so Rusty said, sure. And now he's going to work for these two crooks and he doesn't know it. And that might get him into terrible trouble. Well, let's read now and find out if he does. Here we go with Rusty Riley. Gallop and run till the road is dusty. Give us music for his horse and Rusty. Rusty, who has been talking to Stove Pipe, points out the man named Spex, who has hired Rusty to work for him. Stove Pipe says, well, well, so he calls himself the Great Necro, most interesting. Well, why do you say that, Mr. Stove Pipe? You know him? Well, I cannot claim personal acquaintance with him thus there, and I could be wrong. But I believe that last season in the deep south, he followed a small carnival with which I had temporary connection. But then he was just the slick card manipulator. Stove Pipe goes on last picture top row. If my memory serves me correctly, he was known as Spex. Little Kierland, you've got to live somewhere. I'm about to seek lodgings in the village. Suppose we share digging, sir? Oh, jeepers, I'd like to, Mr. Stove Pipe. Just let me get my suitcase from that shack where I slept last night. A few minutes later, Rusty is getting his suitcase out of the shack where he slept the night before and where he had heard the two mysterious crooks plotting in the darkness below. Hey, golly, I'm glad Mr. Stove Pipe asked me to stay with him. His shack is sure no bargain. I wonder what Flip's curious about. Then Rusty sees something in the floor and picks it up. Jeepers, it's a piece of jewelry. A man's cufflink. Third picture bottom row, carrying his suitcase. Rusty trots between the tents that are being set up. Spex, the man who hired him, calls. Hey, where are you going, kid? Not running out on your job, I hope. Oh, no, no, sir, Mr. Necker. I'm just going into town to find a place to live. Last picture, Spex hands Rusty a dollar bill. Oh, well, if you're going into town, you can do something for me. Here, take this buck and buy me a pair of cufflinks at the five and dime. I lost one of mine. Huh? I, uh, yes, yes, sir. Oh, sure. The crook. Yes, especially since Rusty knows that Spex has lied about himself being a big famous magician. When Stove Pipe says he was just a man who used to do puny little card tricks. Yes. Oh, I wonder what Rusty will do next. We'll have to wait until next week to find that out. Now, let's turn over the page and see what we shall see. Oh, little duckle. Yes. And we'll read your favorite, favorite right now. Here we go with Arnold Duckle. Say the magic words with me. Squeegeum, squeegeum, squeegee, chicka-chack. Let's say music to get a quack-quack. Donald has decided to try to make money in a new business. So today, he and his nephew, Dewey, set up a suitcase full of mirrors on a stand beside the sidewalk and put up a sign which reads, sales and mirrors, $3. And then Donald waits for people to come by and make their purchases. Two hours go by, and Donald hasn't made a sale. Finally, his nephew, Dewey, tells him, hey, look, you can't sell plain mirrors. Uncle Donald, why don't you do this? We could do so much of this. We could take him when he needs it. Excellent, son. Pure genius. Donald takes out his paintbrush, and first picture bottom row, Dewey, looks at a sign and says, see, Uncle Donald, that ought to work. And we see the sign which now reads, hand mirrors designed exclusively for left-handed people, only $3. And Donald waits for left-handed people to come along and buy his mirrors. An hour later, Donald hasn't sold a mirror. He turns to Dewey. Some idea, still no sales. People are too smart to buy them like it. Dewey carefully smiles. I overlooked an angle, Uncle Donald. This is what we do. First, we take the picture, and then we sweep. You see? Terrific, we'll try it. Donald takes out his paintbrush, and a moment later sets up another sign which reads, special discount to right-handed people, only $2. And by the time you get to the last picture, we hear Donald say, sold out. And two ladies, each with a mirror in her hand, are going down the sidewalk. And one says, he doesn't do it, but I'm left-handed. And the other one answers, shh, so am I. Oh, that Dewey, he's the one. Yes, you bet he's the one. He figured out the way to help Donald sell all of his mirrors. And that money. You bet he is. Well, that's all the time I have. But before I go, here's that nice fellow with some more interesting information. And all your boys and girls, they've got to go now. All right, Mr. Comic Weekly Man, but next week. OK, that's a date. And a date with all your boys and girls. Be sure to meet me with our little friend, Miss Honey. Next week, when I read, pock the comic weekly. For I'm the comic weekly man, the jolly comic weekly man. I'll be back to read the funnies to you happy boys and honeys. Don't forget, boys and girls, see you all next week. Your friend, the comic weekly man, the jolly comic weekly man.