 Your coca-cola bottler presents Claudia based on the play and novels by Rose Franken Brought to you transcribe Monday through Friday by your friendly neighbor who bottles coca-cola Relax and while you're listening refresh yourself have a coke and now Claudia What do you sound so happy about I love going out to dinner now come out of that closet and hum out in the open that beautiful soprano viewers shouldn't be wasted on a bunch of hangers My beautiful voice. Did you say beautiful voice? I said those clear lovely pear shaped tones Which end of the pear either end of the pear take your choice. Come on sing me a few pairs Oh, you made me so self-conscious. I'll just pretend I'm a hanger. How's that? Is that what you are? You often act as if I am come on now sing How is this You mean trio you sing good enough for two darling Careful you'll swell my vocal cords Well, actually that beautiful little rendition. Don't you think we ought to start getting dressed for dinner? Presto in 10 minutes. I'll be a changed man. Oh, David. No, I love you as you are Well, in that case, I'll just change my clothes. Good. What are you going to wear? How dressed up do you want me to be? Well, of course you look stunning in an old potato sack Just call me spud and you look particularly handsome in that old plaid blanket And you really made a hit with the ladies when you wear that flower bag on your head But why don't you just dress casually in your dark blue suit? I don't like to be so informal when I take the lady I love out to dinner But since you think it's all right, I'll wear my dark blue suit. I had it pressed Little schemer. I think I'll wear my silk broad cloth shirt too. Good. I love that one That's bertha brought it back all nice and laundered. Oh, that's right. What's the matter? Well, um Bertha burned her hands so she couldn't do the laundry this week And she sent it out to the little man around the corner and the laundry's not back yet Is that what you're working up to? Well, it should be back. It's been more than a week I'll call bertha and see what's happened to it I don't like the idea of that silk broad cloth shirt going out to a strange laundry Bertha says it's a hand laundry not a strange one and it's very good David does hand laundry mean that the laundry does it by hand? I've always suspected that hand laundry means someone works for machine by hand That shirt comes back torn. I'll never forget bertha. So long. Hello bertha. This is mrs. Norton How are you? How's my shirt bertha? You remember that package of laundry I gave you Oh, it's back. Oh, that's wonderful Well, could you bring it up? Oh, would you prefer the mr. Norton went down and You're sure you're not disturbing yourself Oh, fine right away fine Oh, it's back. That's good. What would you have done if it wasn't madam? We would have stayed home this evening Oh, I would not budge from the house unless I was be clothed in that silk broad cloth Shirt you're very temperamental I am an opera singer remember. Well, I suppose I might as well get dressed too. We haven't got much time I reserved a table you did He's not against your principles very much against him, but then I've been overruled by the headwaiters union of new york city Oh That's bertha now i'll answer it Coming bertha. Why don't you just surprise the door sometime and answer it without letting you know you're coming I don't think the door mines. Do you? Hello bertha. Ah, mrs. Norton. I'm so sorry about this laundry Don't be silly. How's your hand? Is it better fine now next week? I'd be good as new. He's your laundry. Thanks Heaven, it's a lot of laundry. I hope they do. It's fine. I do not like laundry But the lady in 5a. She tells me this is a very fine laundry. Oh, I'm sure everything will be perfect What's going on out there? Where's my shirt? I'm catching my death of coal. I go now mr. Norton He's impatient. Oh, he's just fooling bertha men. They're very impatient. I know good night, mrs. Norton I see you tomorrow night bertha and thanks Oh, can I pay you for this tomorrow? We're going out. I trust you. You pay me when you have time. Good night night Say hello to fritz for me. I will Here's the laundry david Might have come out and said hello to bertha and make her blush seeing me in this bathrobe You look almost as beautiful in that bathrobe as in that silk broadcloth shirt Say what is silk broadcloth anyway? It's a very finest in menswear. Yeah, here's the laundry and here's the list Look, I'll read off the list and you check it. Oh, we don't want to check it. All we want is that shirt. I count six shirts Well, it says seven seven shirts can't be they're only six You're sure they're only six count them yourself. Oh, that's ridiculous. It says seven there must be seven Must be here something. All right, you look I'm looking that's what I like about women. They think the only people who can do women's work is women Well There are only six you see I think you don't mind losing a shirt because it proves you're right Well, it does take the sting off of it. Let's see which one's missing now Here's the striped one here's uh one two four oxford shirts And here's the sport shirt. Where is the silk blood broadcloth? Oh, it must be here someplace David. I'm not here. I don't see it. Well, it must be There is no silk broadcloth shirt there. Oh, David. This is awful I'll get it tomorrow. I promise. What about tonight? We're going out to dinner Darling, you'll just have to wear another shirt. No, maybe I'd better plan on wearing that flower bag after Here this one is a nice shirt right here. No, I prefer the potato sack Oh darling your heart was really set on the silk broadcloth, wasn't it? I'll adjust myself. It's a cruel glow But no reason why you should we'll get that shirt right now The laundry's just around the corner. It'll only take five minutes. Oh, that's all right here. I'll wear another shirt It's not that serious, but it is Well, I get terribly disappointed when I plan on wearing one thing and then have to wear something else You know I do look good in that silk broadcloth. I must admit you do you certainly do In fact, I won't go to dinner unless you wear it Let me see. Where is that laundry list? Oh, here it is. What's the name of the laundry? It's a chinese laundry. His name is uh Ling Poo. Ling Poo. Oh, that's a sweet name isn't it, David? Ling Poo I wonder what he's like, Mr. Ling Poo Or don't you say mister in front of Ling Poo? You really want me to get the shirt now? I insist I'll go out to and stop off at the drugstore while you're at the laundry We need some toothpaste and toothbrushes. What's the matter? Can't you stay home when I'm not here? Oh, right? I get lonesome David are you sure you won't need me positive Darling didn't I ever tell you about my chinese ancestor your chinese what? Yes, didn't you know my full name was david charlie chan norton and charlie chan always get his shirt ding house Ding house say what does that mean? Very good. I think very good. What just very good Well, ding house Mr. Ling Poo Is anybody home? Mr. Ling poo. Ling poo here, please. Oh Oh, mr. Ling poo. I'm I'm david not and I just received my laundry and there's a shirt missing Oh, look mr. Ling poo. It's just one shirt a silk broadcloth shirt Uh a shirt a white shirt You know for me with with sleeves No, no, no not not trousers not a coat a shirt, you know shirt with tie tie tie No, no, no not a tie a shirt I'll take off my coat. You see this look a white shirt This a shirt s h i r t Do you talk english english? That's right. That's right. Do you speak english? Have no english please. Well, do you speak it? Oh, yes. I speak english fine Now we're getting someplace and then do you have a white broadcloth shirt? The name is noton Noton ah No, not on here. No, no, no, no. That's not what I mean. I I am noton have have you a shirt here I think this is the plan. I think you brought that shirt home to your brother. I think he's walking around wearing it I have no brother I guess I'll wear that potato sack tonight after all all potato or you want potato nowhere No, all I want is a shirt now look Here is the laundry list. Now you see here Shirts Yeah, that's right now now the sheets are fine and the pillowcases are beautiful and the towels are spent about the shirt You still have one shirt Sheet towels. Right. I have much sheets and towels all clean very nice Yes, I know that that's fine But all I want is a shirt a white silk broadcloth shirt and an aspirin Oh, that's fine. You know you you have aching of head I have a sharp pain through my forehead, but an aspirin won't help all I want is my white I think all of that I don't know. I give up. You can have the shirt. I don't want it I never liked it go on wear it in good health It'll be a little big for you, but you can have it Wait for you and you didn't come but I'm coming now got your shirt. I have nothing but an Inmanent nervous breakdown very imminent Yes, it's practically here. Mr. Ling pooh speaks perfect English, but he doesn't understand a word of it You mean you didn't get your shirt back exactly, but that's silly if he speaks English Silly I bet you didn't even try I'll bet you 20 cents. It's a deal Mr. Ling pooh, I am mrs. Norton and I've come about mr. Norton Ding hao ding hao oh, you mean shirt. That's right shirt. Oh shirt a white shirt ding hao Oh, why didn't you say so? I got it Ding hao ding hao It's very simple darling David didn't I ever tell you my full name was Claudia Confucius Brown Norton It's funny how many housewives consider anyone who has a 40 hour week as a worker in contrast to themselves Yet they often work twice that long at home and without a lot of the comforts that office and factory workers enjoy today too Take yourself for instance When you've been at it since early morning that you stop and refresh yourself with ice cold coca-cola Millions of business people do Why not take time out this minute for the pause that refreshes ding hao a shirt Why do not mr. Norton say our shirt right away? Well, I was under the impression that the ladies They talk English much finer. Oh, I like ladies ding hao. Oh, they have a way of making themselves understood. Oh, yes Please uh, mrs. Norton. I understand her I suppose mr. Ling pool you feel that ladies ought to do women's work. Oh, yes. Yes always, please And uh, women's work is taken care of the house. Oh, yes, sir. Yes, sir house. Yes. Yes take care of us Well, would you say mr. Ling pool that uh interior decoration of a house was ladies work in china a lady of a house always Do all work a house. Well, claudia isn't in china But she feels that way about it too and she's going to get her chance to prove it tomorrow But an interior decorator tries to take over. Uh, he tried but uh with mrs. Norton I am sure he know win Uh, confuses say Lady won something. Uh, she uh, got something Well, you may be right mr. Ling pool. Uh, goodbye to you And as I was about to say Every day monday through friday Claudia comes to you transcribed with the best wishes of your friendly neighbor who bottles coca-cola So listen again tomorrow at the same time And now this is joe king saying olivar And remember whoever you are Whatever you do Wherever you may be When you think of refreshment Think of coca-cola Or ice cold coca-cola makes any pause The pause that refreshes This broadcast of claudia was supervised and directed by william brown maloney Now here's a word from your friendly neighbor who bottles coca-cola