 in the past when her principal engaged in a project he expected the members of his faculty to follow suit so it was no surprise to Armist Brooks who teaches English at Madison High when two weeks ago Mr. Conklin took up an old hobby of his and then ordered his teachers to pursue a hobby of their own at first she was even quite happy when she was ordered to pursue a hobby in fact right up until Mr. Conklin informed me that Mr. Boynton wasn't quite what he had in mind but it was Mr. Conklin's hobby rather than mine that caused most of the difficulty this past week his avocation was making life-like figures out of wax which he then presented to his teachers and insisted that we display them prominently in our home actually his wax figures of animals were exceptionally good and the leopard he gave me last Wednesday was extremely life-like Thursday morning when my landlady saw it for the first time her reaction was immediate Davis Mrs. Davis come out of the closet dear not live you're you're sure isn't Connie of course I'm sure well all right then this leopard is just another of Mr. Conklin's wax figures although I will admit they're quite realistic they certainly are I don't know what we can do about Mr. Conklin's hobby but in a way it has had its good effect how dear well it's forced many of the teachers to take up hobbies when they'd never had one until now for instance you've never seen me doing any knitting before look what I've accomplished in the last few weeks yes I was noticing those things on the sideboard before you came in this morning did you see the things I knitted for Mr. Boynton oh I know you'll be delighted with that it's a bathing suit of course dear I should have known it was a bathing suit as soon as I saw the turtle neck no Mr. Boynton will be pleased with it when I give it to him at dinner well as soon as I get to school I'll ask him oh that's probably Walter to pick me up come on in Walter the door is open I better see what I've got left in the kitchen for him and you know how that boy eats I'll be back in a minute hello Walter why Mr. Boynton good morning Mr. Brooks I... Mr. Boynton Mr. Boynton come out of the closet this minute oh it's the leopard he's not alive Mr. Boynton he is not you sure oh no I get it now it's another Mr. Conklin's wax figures they certainly are realistic I'll bet you'll never guess what he gave me for my place Mr. Brooks a wolf well are you learning anything why did you come by this morning Mr. Boynton well Walter called me a little while ago and said something went wrong with his car so I decided I'd pick you up instead oh I'm glad you did and since you're here I might as well give you the present I knitted for you I was originally going to give it to you tonight at dinner here you are Mr. Boynton shows what you can create when you take up a new hobby doesn't it you knitted this for me cared to jump back into the closet oh no no it's beautiful beautiful it uh it'll make a wonderful cover for my rabbit cage it's a bathing suit a bathing suit with a turtle neck well if you can't use it just hand it to the nearest turtle oh I'll use it and since you've given me your gift already I might as well give you the things I made for you I suppose you've been wondering what's in the shoebox I've been carrying no I just figured it was your lunch the latest product of my wood carving hobby go ahead and open it why Mr. Boynton they're lovely they're two of the most beautifully carved ashtrays I've ever seen but they're shoes Miss Brooks wooden shoes wooden shoes I guess what fooled me was you forgot the wooden laces well they just slip on women in Holland wear them all the time go ahead see how they fit alright first I have to get my own shoes off there oh say this wooden shoe slips on nice and easy good is it the right size oh yes both feet fit into it perfectly well they may seem a little loose on your feet at first but you'll find they're very comfortable around the house just try walking in them alrighty Mr. Boynton I've got to see Mr. Conflin the first thing this morning well you're not going to wear those shoes to school are you Miss Brooks you said the women in Holland wear them all the time didn't you oh yes but what's that got to do with you well at least today I'm dressed for the part when I get in Dutch with Mr. Conflin this wax figure you've made of yourself is amazingly lifelike why if I didn't know you were sitting behind that desk I'd swear you were the wax figure standing beside it you do believe me don't you I ought to since the wax figure standing beside it happens to be me wonderful this figure behind the desk could fool anybody Daddy may I say you're a genius over and over again I am rather facile with wax aren't I oh I should say you are oh yes yes my only regret is that there isn't enough room for me to do my modeling at home it isn't easy to flaunt school rules night after night working in the gymnasium but I suppose for a true artist rules are sometimes made to be broken oh I'm so glad you feel that way about rules Daddy then could I skip homework and go out with Walter tonight and just when did you join the club Miss Picasso you most certainly cannot even if you had no homework you know perfectly well the president has a job assisting me evening Harriet I know you have a class so if you don't mind kindly get sounds like the Martians have finally landed I wasn't far wrong excuse me Harriet I'm about to make a little experiment find out just how lifelike that wax figure behind my desk really is when I am hidden behind that door and you are out of this office through my inner office please all right now to get behind my office door before Miss Brooks comes in I have a big favor to ask you an enormous favor now please don't say anything until you've heard me out it's about tonight I know I'm supposed to go over some reports with you at your house but when I agreed to do it I forgot that tonight Mr. Boynton and I were celebrating his sixth anniversary at Madison so would it be all right if I went to your house tomorrow night would it would it Mr. Conflin I just asked you not to say anything until you'd heard me out not to never speak again sir I've never seen you this quiet before is your head bothering you it's coming off I can do to help it's coming off don't worry we can always weld it back on back of me when you're in front of me oh oh I see it now one of you is made of wax oh you certainly gave me an awful start sir I'm sorry if I upset you Miss Brooks but the figure is rather life-like isn't it well truly sir it's practically impossible to tell the difference between you and the dummy that is there's a remarkable resemblance now about the favor I was going to ask of you I've already heard you ask it Miss Brooks and since I intend working on my wax figures here at school tonight you may have the evening off oh thank you Mr. Conflin thank you honestly you made me so happy sir I could kiss you if you must try the wax Mr. Conflin but in return for this favor of mine I have a small favor to ask of you will you supervise this office during your lunch hour since I have to go downtown to purchase more wax for my figures oh yes sir gladly good good well if you don't need me anymore I'll be on my way to class one moment please Moll Flanders just where did you get those wooden shoes Mr. Boynton made them for me sir wood carving is his hobby would you come a little closer Miss Brooks yes sir my it's lucky this building is earthquake proof oh the wood carving on these shoes is excellent simply excellent I've been searching for someone to assist me in my work and Boynton might be just the man yes I think he may do Mr. Boynton your assistant yes he'll start working with me tonight on my historical figures oh but sir I told you we're celebrating an anniversary tonight he's supposed to have dinner with me Miss Brooks I've made up my mind tonight Mr. Boynton starts with Marie Antoinette Marie Antoinette Mr. Conflin I think I may have an idea that will solve both our problems what's that Miss Brooks you take Marie Antoinette and we'll make it a double date still Mr. Conflin was downtown I was sitting in front of our principal's desk keeping an eye on his office while the waxed figure of Mr. Conflin sat in the chair opposite keeping his eye on me suddenly the door opened hi Miss Brooks hello Mr. Conflin oh hello Walter Mr. Conflin I have a big favor to ask you but please don't say anything until you've heard what it is okay don't worry he won't well sir it's about tonight I've been planning a big date with a certain member of your family for a week now so could I please be excused tonight after all sir I've stood guard outside the gym for five straight nights while you worked inside so could I please have tonight off could I could I Mr. Conflin I just asked you not to speak until I finish not to never speak again and Mr. Conflin do you mean to say you forced this poor boy to stand out in the cold for five nights why I've never heard of anything so heartless so cruel and inhuman now stop sitting there like a waxed dummy and answer me oh holy cow please Mr. Conflin please sir you must forgive her oh she's just a poor hungry overworked teacher who's finally snapped her cap she apologized Mr. Conflin I know she will only think of the many long faithful years of service behind her and the pitifully few short years ahead of her oh fairer we kids need her sir she's like a mother to us you do even better with grandmother Walker you can relax you're only talking to a waxed dummy a waxed dummy that's not the real Mr. Conflin of course not you're sure? certainly now get this marble hat I'm taking all I'm gonna take from you and if you give me any more lipstick so what time are you gonna bring her home I'll bounce one off your pointed marble head trade that rings in the new year Walter please don't fool with that wax figure it's fragile hello wax museum a medicine high school I'm speaking right now sir I'll give Mr. Conflin your message as soon as I see him Mr. Stone very well good bye good bye sir you're gonna give Mr. Conflin what message Mr. Brooks that Mr. Stone's coming over tonight to investigate the light in the gymnasium but Mr. Brooks why do that if Mr. Stone discovers Mr. Conflin here tonight he'll make him quit his hobby thus releasing Mr. Boynton and me for active duty on other battlefields I'm getting to feel more like no man's land every day Walter I told Mr. Stone I'd give Mr. Conflin the message when I saw him and that's exactly what I intend to do you do yes but I didn't say which Mr. Conflin okay waxy open up your ears it's almost nine o'clock Mr. Conflin I have a date tonight perhaps we should come back to these figures tomorrow night no no no I can't stop Boynton I must work I guess I've got wax in my blood where oh where did I get this heaven sent talent did Julius Caesar ever look more dominating and look at my Napoleon Boynton did you ever see such a Napoleon whenever I look at it I want to follow the man into battle well it's it's rather good sir thank you what do you think of this wax figure of Miss Brooks tell the truth Boynton I respect honest criticism well personally I don't think the arms are quite right because Boynton when I want your opinion I'll ask for it and what pray Mr. Boynton do you find wrong with Miss Brooks arms well sir I speak as one who spent countless evenings in Miss Brooks company Boynton I am in no mood to hear your true confession exactly how would you have treated the arms well a little fuller fiddle-faddle Mr. Conker that didn't mean to hurt your feelings all I really meant was quiet quiet quiet Mr. Conker there's a couple of people coming and I think one of them is Mr. Stone Mr. Stone good heavens we've been ambushed what are we going to do sir there's no way out they're coming toward us through the only open door Boynton stop making this sound like the ninth episode of the perils of Pauline now we must be calm that's it calm calm and sink sink I've got it you hide in the workshop yes sir yeah but what about us sir there's no alternative Boynton freeze freeze yes we remain absolutely motionless beside these wax figures Mr. Stone could never tell us apart now put out the light Boynton sit over there between Marie Antoinette and Josephine between Marie Antoinette and Josephine oh Boynton relax if Marie Antoinette makes a move toward you I personally will see the cheese guillotine again as he approached the gymnasium from the outside Mr. Stone was surprised at something he saw Miss Brooks didn't the light just go out in the gymnasium oh I'm not sure Mr. Stone I'm glad I bumped into you we can investigate this mystery together I'll switch on the light for heaven's sakes where did they go where did who go Miss Brooks whoever was here I mean these must be the wax figures Mr. Conklin's been working on they're amazingly life-like aren't they well the Napoleon the Caesar are but that new one of Mr. Conklin wouldn't fool anyone no living man ever looked like that that would be like ours good placing his figure between Napoleon and Caesar he does seem to give them an inferiority complex doesn't he and that one sitting over there between Marie Antoinette and Josephine I believe is Mr. Boynton huh hmm very good good he's gorgeous it is good isn't it sir but this figure of Conklin needs the most work for one thing the eyes are wrong they're too close together certain weasel like quality oh yes they're not right sir and somehow there's something wrong with those jaws oh the jaws are all wrong Mr. Conklin has the heavy beefy jowls of a baby rhinoceros where does Mr. Conklin keep his art supplies oh in that little workshop over there you see it sir why do you ask frankly I think I can improve this Conklin figure myself just by adding a little paint here a dash of hot wax there and moving that left eye over about two inches what was what well I thought I oh never mind I'll be right back with the materials maybe I could move that eye over well new one is moving my left eye oh it is indeed eye so my eyes like that certain weasel like quality oh no sir they're very weasel like I have the heavy beefy jowls of a baby rhinoceros do I oh that was all in fun sir oh living man could look like I do oh it should have been no living woman could hold the job I'm losing Mr. Brooks I'm alive too Mr. Brooks wanna bet this is no time for meaningless talk I want you to get Mr. Stone out of here as soon as possible but sir Mr. Stone insists on doing you over get rid of him Mr. Brooks or come tomorrow morning a certain teacher may find herself pounding a beat in some kind of garden well all right sir I'll try see that you do because hey it's amazing Mr. Brooks Mr. Conklin's got wax figures all over the place there's even one of Walter Denton in the workshop well now to get to work on our score Mr. Stone don't you think it's rather late oh nonsense Mr. Brooks I haven't had so much fun in ages now first a touch of red paint on Mr. Conklin's cheeks notice how it brings out the eyes Mr. Brooks yes they do look like they're about to pop don't they they build up that chair with a little hot wax so and now the coot-a-gross what did you do with that thaw well frankly that left ear of Conklin's has disturbed me from the moment I first set eyes on it who knew it was me all the time sir on the moment I took that first look at you and you crossed your eyes now if you're less I had been moved over two inches you that was a dead giveaway wasn't it I knew Boyndon was alive from the moment I mentioned that he was sitting between Marie Antoinette and Josephine and he began to blush blush if he was sitting between two female frogs don't mind telling you I consider this infringement of school rules a disgrace but sir if you let me explain no explanation is acceptable when a principal violates school rules to the extent of using its facilities after hours without the express consent of the board well however I shall overlook the affair this time oh thank you sir thank you but hereafter I shall expect you to pursue your hobby at home or find a different hobby yes or find a different hobby something without Mr. Boyn yes something without Miss Brooks I've seen a luxury of expressing my old thought in my old mated language I'm sorry sir well Mr. Boyndon if we hurry we can still catch a movie just a moment please Conklin who made that chair Boydon is sitting on that one? Boydon made it himself Mr. Stone his hobby is woodcraft oh it's excellent beautiful work you know Boydon I took up woodwork a few weeks ago myself and I find it fascinating oh it is sir um I wonder if you can drop over sometime and give me a few pointers well anytime you say Mr. Stone I'd be very happy to how about tonight oh no tonight's impossible Mr. Stone Mr. Boydon has already promised to help me out with my hobby you see I'm a knitter well how could Mr. Boydon help you out with that hobby well my cat's away and someone's got to get all tangled up in the world come on Mr. Boydon oh Eve Arton Mr. Conklin's waxed dummies of Marie Antoinette and Josephine were really life-like but he just didn't do right by their complexion Oldsburg and Lou Dermond with the music of Lud Bluskin Mr. Conklin was played by Gail Gordon others in tonight's cast were Jane Morgan, Dick Crenna, Bob Rockwell, Gloria McMillan and Joseph Kearns