 It's all sisters, all the time today on the show. You're not going to want to miss this. We're talking about Red Ink. We're talking about Skipping Church. And are you ready? We're talking about selfies. And I seriously just took a selfie. You don't want to miss this today. We'll see you soon. Welcome, welcome, welcome to Sister to Sister. I'm Kathy. And you have the panel of the best sisters ever. Corey, Roxanne, Flo, and Amy. We're here to give you our opinions, and we do want to hear yours too. But the first opinion, as we were kind of rocking out to our opening song, I wonder, what do we like in churches? Do we like rock band worship? Do we like hymns? What do we like? I like a mixture. I like a mixture. But I think that what we have to watch is not being able to enter in because if you show up some people, if they know it's youth Sunday and the youth is going to be leading worship, some people won't come and vice versa. But the real thing of worship is not music. It's surrendering the thing that's closest to your heart as in the law of first mention with Abraham and Isaac. He said, I'm going yonder to worship. And that's when he was sacrificing. You don't matter at mind if it's rock or hymns as long as the feeling. Worship isn't a style. It's a heart that loves God. But I think like you're either born kind of with that a certain style. We just happen to be like come from the school of rock. So like deep down we like rock, you know? And so that's how we prefer worship. That's right. But there's different styles, different people. Our senior pastor always asks us to have grace because it's not about us. It's not about I want this and I want that. I mean, I'm actually a little more traditional. What comes to worship? I like a good hymn every once in a while. And I miss singing hymns. I really do. Were you raised like that? Yeah, I mean, I went to church. Well, I mean, I think we all were. I don't think there was a lot of rock and roll back in the day in worship. And it's come a long way. And I think there's some wonderful musicians and wonderful instruments that they use. And I don't have a problem with that. The only thing I do have a problem with is when they're passing out ear buds to put in your ears because it's so loud. I went to a church. I'm not my church, but I went to a church where they literally passed out ear plugs so that because it was so loud. And I'm like, that's too much. I wonder if it's all 150 when David worshiped. It's that allowed, clanging, simple. I think the Bible is our guide. Yeah, absolutely. No harps, trumpets, guitars, whatever. But also when I looked at this, Revelation 7 also said there's not just revelry, there's reverence, so that the elders bow down before the Lord. So I think there's a mixture of both. But I know raising sons and daughters. You have to be, we have to be careful not to push our own likes on somebody else. You know, men might be more masculine and feel they can't worship the David, the more feminine way to be bouncy and lively. But they're worshiping in their hearts, as Flo said and the women said. Well, I come from a background, a Catholic background, and it was very reverent. So when you said reverent, and now I am in non-denominational, free for all, wildness. It is, pastor, this is my pastor. But what I wanted to say is last, during this Lenten season, I was in a beautiful Catholic cathedral. And as I made my way to the front of the altar, and now there's all the statues and all the candles, I was on my face in worship. And it was this really kind of beautiful, angelic music, it was wonderful. So I do miss reverence. But there's a song that says, it's all about you. I'm coming back to the heart of worship, it's all about you. So wherever you worship, we invite you, invite you in. Diversity is key, diversity is key. That's right. But I have, this next question, I'm probably gonna zip it. Here's why. I am a major sports fan, as all of my friends and family know. But would you let your child skip church to go to a game, or in the Pittsburgh area, to a stealer game, or a sleepover, or is the attendance at church with family crucial to you? In my house, it's a non-negotiable, and it always has been that way. They can't sleep over it anyway. They cannot miss church on a weekend for sports or for a sleepover. Now we do have some flexibility, we go to a church that has Saturday night services, so we have flexibility, and we actually started going to our church because of that, because of sports. But it was never an option to say, well, you're in football season now, we're not gonna go to church for eight weeks. That's not happening. We just, it's non-negotiable. And that's sad for fathers whose children play, let's say, midget football. What do you do? It's Sundays. Hi, you have to go Saturday night. Yeah, what do you have for me? What the Bible says, don't forsake the assembling of yourselves. So however you assemble whatever you call, we are the church. But going to church, yes, it says to fellowship together. I know that when my daughter went Saturday, said, Mom, I have to go to the pirate game, we're in Pittsburgh. I have to go to the pirate game with a friend. I said, you're kidding me, you know we want you in church. Well, Mom, make a wish foundation in the pirate. She was a cancer survivor. I said, oh, okay, you're going. It's part of, it was just a, you know, one of those things, I think there's times where we have to have flexibility, because that to me was also a form of worship, honoring her friend who had been sick. Right, it's important too. Right. And she could go Saturday night to Corey's church. To Corey's church. You really pass down your passions to your kids. And just like my parents, I mean they put God's house as a priority above all things. And so we were there, I mean, almost maybe too much, but I'm glad, I'm thankful four days a week. I mean, Wednesday, Sunday morning, Sunday night. So then, you know, we passed down those things passions to our kids. So they love being in God's house. It's like we're born to build church. We're born to build God's house. And this is why you're so happy. I'm sorry. This is like the happy child. And that's how you can be happy. Yes. The happy child four times a week. Church all the time. I don't know. I think it's in the trouble, I don't know. I think that there, you know, obviously the corporate anointing is key. And as Rox already quoted, you know, for sake not dissembling of ourselves together. I also believe just like Jesus said, that, you know, the Pharisees, you got to watch because you can't get legalistic. Right. You know, when healed on the Sabbath, the religious folks start coming in. And so, you know, if something comes up and I definitely think we got to prioritize it. I bought my children up and I have almost like two sets of children because of their age differences, you know? So it's like, it's the truth. So my first set of children, and I'm being very vulnerable because this is real life. And so we bought them up Corey and we bought them up with the iron clad. This is what you're going to do. This is how, and then what happened is, and I've seen this pattern happen a lot with that generation is that our children will not go to church now. They are like, they put a bad taste in her mouth because we were so legalistic. I mean, you couldn't play marbles because the Bible said marble not, right? Did you get it? Did you get it? Did you get it? So, I mean, you really have to watch and be balanced because there was a time that if my child wanted to do something, I would not have let them. Now I see it in a little different perspective but again, I'm five children down the road, you know? And so, wisdom comes with that. What about you? How were you raised? I was raised, you're going to church. If you got drunk on Saturday, no, it was no option. It was, you could be drunk on Saturday but you're going to church on Sunday. You know what I mean? You're going to church on Saturday? Of course. Of course. Don't you remember you and I together? No. You're not going to church. No, maybe she's in church four times a week. We all get saved from something, you know what I mean? That's a topic we need to do sometimes. We will, we will. We will, we will. But I'm going to move on quickly because this is really important. Roxanne is on the school board, not only are you an attorney but you are who we hold up for things like this. In the United Kingdom, the teachers were told not to use red ink. Why? Not to use red ink to correct the children. So take that question. Yeah, I think they were trying to say use two or three positive things versus negative. We don't want to hurt, be sensitive to the child. But I'm not sure that that went a little overboard because if you're really thinking about the best, the best interests of the child, I want to be prepared and I want my children and my students to be prepared for the real world. So red will stand out. I made a mistake. I'm not going to make it again because it was emphasized in my mind. What's wrong with that? Right, and you want to know when you make mistakes. That's what school is. It's a learning ground for making mistakes and being encouraged when you do something positive. So I like the fact that they emphasize the positive as well. But I want to quickly ask you this question too because it is about self-esteem. Selfies, Amy alluded to this in the open about the selfies. The world, yeah. Hello. The world is, take it, take it. I did. You did? I did. I was smiling. How's my hair? The whole world. I got it with her mouth open. Can you believe it? No, I'm kidding. The world is obsessed with themselves. With themselves. What do you think? Can I jump to the red ink? Back to the red ink just for a second. Only because I think that we need to understand that color psychologically plays a role. And red can promote aggression. And they did a test where even the teachers, they did a certain set with the teachers, a certain set with the students. And with the teachers, I'm trying to do this really fast. No, that's good. OK, with the teachers, they found that they were more critical. And they found more mistakes. And they gave them like an eighth grader's paper to correct. And so their expectation was beyond what that eighth grader should have done. And then with the child, even in their cognitive learning, it kind of leaves it psychologically, can bring them up under a banner. And you don't want that to happen to a child. So sometimes we have to look just a little deeper into things. You know, too. Yeah, a little bit. Yeah. But if you're using a red pen, wouldn't they be judging them each the same way if they're using the red pen? I mean, I just. But it's how it affects the child. I know what you mean. And I do believe we can. Did we all have red pens? Yes. And then you're going to start banning trophies and banning best friends and banning sports because it makes people feel bad. If they win. It's just, I think it's malarkey. Maybe it depends on the kid and their sort of personality and how they're making their makeup. Some kids are really sensitive and are very inward. And some like, oh, what a head in the clouds. But I don't think any human being feels good when you get a mark that makes you feel less than. Red ink can be a word. But not feeling good is a tool to help you do better. That's true. Sometimes being pressured or having troubles makes you stronger. That's right. If we all just take selfies, the world would be better. Well, here's the solution. The solution is we moved over to selfies because I wanted Amy to take our picture. And she did. I have a question. Is it wealthy or ussy when you do more than one person? Oh, honey. It's you. It's you. Oh, good luck, good job. Hey, we'll be right back. That's what the sisters are talking about in this segment. You better sit tight and buckle up, baby. We'll be right back on Sister to Sister. Last segment's questions. What a fabulous audience we have and fabulous girls of God. We want to touch real quick again on the selfies. We didn't finish it. And we always like to bring things from a biblical perspective to you. Rox, what do you have? Well, I was thinking about 1 Corinthians 13. And I do have it written down here. Love does not act unbecoming or seek its own. If we're so possessed with ourselves, it's hard for us to act relationally outward. And then when it becomes, what does the Bible say? You're overcome. You're enslaved to what you're overcome by. True. So when it becomes such a habit that you can't live without, I think we have to watch ourselves. Because then we're loving ourselves more than we are loving our neighbor. Right. Yeah. Oh, the girls loved it. That's really good. The girls loved it. But we do have a good selfie for you, for a face butt. Yeah. I did condone it. What about Facebook? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they're all taking selfies. Also, the audience, you should see it. It's really fun. Selfie, as long as you're not selfish or self-centered. But I'm a picture person. I see things in life in snapshots and pictures and post-it notes. And so I think. And Instagram. Yeah. So I'm like, Instagram. I don't think it's inherently good or bad. It can become something that you worship. Right. But you know what? I'm speaking of things that are good and bad. Did you hear the story about the father? And I think it was in Pittsburgh. See, it wasn't in Pittsburgh. No, Pittsburgh dad would never do that. I know him, Pittsburgh dad. It was on Pittsburgh TV. It was on Pittsburgh. Right. And the father was so angry at his daughter for not cleaning up the room that he took all of her materials, everything, bed, dress, everything, put it in the driveway. So when she came home, I just said, oh, boy, it's cleaned up. She's getting what you want and put it back. What do you think about a public display like that? The father making a public display of his daughter's messiness. I think I might actually do this. When I get home, because I literally every day am having this ongoing battle with the rooms and the cleaning. And I don't know. I just think I think the public display is so much better than a public display of screaming at a child or belittling them or being abusive in your language. I think this was like a wake-up call. I'm all for it. Go, dad. I think he was a military dad. And later on, he kind of thought, well, maybe I should have did it that way. But I'm kind of with Cory. I've done some things to make my point with my children that I'm not going to tell you on television. Did it all us? Tell us. Did it work? Oh, it definitely worked. I want to know if it doesn't work. One day I'll let you interview my children. They'll tell you how much it worked. But no, I think the punishment needs to fit the crime. And I don't know where we got into this. If my children act up in public, they get corrected in public. You may feel differently, but you know. That's really good. In the grocery store, yes. As a person with adult children, once they start buying their own things, they'll take care of them. So this too shall pass. I know the Bible says train a child up in the way they should go. You should be training them not to be messy. But once they start buying their own things, they clean it up really well. So there is hope for it. That's true. Yeah, except I'm not messy. Have them buy their stuff. That's true. Buy your own stuff. I want to ask you about this, because this has happened with me. When a friend would start to complain about their husband, about their spouse, and really venting, and the audience starts shaking their head, oh boy. Do you listen? What do you do when a friend starts doing that about their spouse? I am impassioned about this. I think that's a subterfuge for gossip. What is it? A subterfuge. A subterfuge. It hides gossip. I don't think you should be venting. When you work out things with your spouse, I think that should be private. Would you want your spouse talking about you to another man? Well, men don't do that. Oh, yes, they do. Do you? We'd have to ask the camera guys. Do you? No, I'm hearing no. It's not called venting. That's the difference. Listen, Roxanna, I have a different view, honestly. I have some really awesome godly friends, and some of them are here right now. And I tell my husband this all the time, he should be thanking them. Because they put me in my place. They say you need to apologize. You need to humble yourself. You need to go work things out. They give me the good advice. And I kind of disagree with you, because I think it's dishonoring to talk negative about your spouse to another person unless you're talking up to a counselor, to a person that can help you. And like a close friend, I don't think that that is their business. I think honest confession is good for the soul. And I think there's safety and a multitude of counselors. And let's just be real. There's some things that you're going through you don't even know how to articulate it to your spouse because you're growing. I've been with my husband 30 years and certainly our relationship is different than it was 30 years ago. And I do like the principle that you share, that you try to share up, you know? And you need to watch the contents of how you share it and all of that. I think that's important, but it's imperative that you have a opening to share so that somebody can speak into your life. You're not designed to fix everything by yourself. I'm going to share, but not venting. Right, but Godly friends are the key there. That's the key. But you know what? I have Godly friends, but I also have 1,700 Facebook friends. If you're watching, I don't know who you all are. And I say yes because I don't want you to feel bad. That's probably true. It's the truth. So what is going on with this friend stuff? What do you think? Is this giving us a false sense of friendship? Or does it strengthen the bonds? I think it does. Sometimes it does. Well, I don't accept any Joe Sally off the road as a Facebook friend. Well, do they know that you don't like them or say yes? No, they don't know. If I say Cory, be my friend, and then days go by, and you don't say yes. If I don't know you, why would you want to be my friend? They saw you on Sister to Sister. I don't know. Just like us, sister to sister on Facebook, you can get all this. I think that this, along with the selfies, promotes imagery instead of intimacy. And I think that friendship is relationship. Sometimes we kind of butcher because the way we use it. And a friend to me, like the Bible says, faithful are the wounds of a friend. And a friend can speak to me when an acquaintance can't. And there's a difference. And I think sometimes we have taken acquaintances and said, this is my friend. But it is a great way to, like, I mean, when you can't connect all the time and you're busy, I know what's going on in Cory's life. I know what's going on with some of our young, and you, oh, I like his picture, oh, I like what they're doing. This picture does say, better is a friend close by than a brother far off. And I think if you could keep that closeness and that sharing as flow said without the superficialness. But when you go on Facebook, you are putting on there what you want people to see. And sometimes when you're in there, you know what I'm going to say. It's like, what are they thinking? Because I want to be different from what I got. You know what? I need you to be my friend on Facebook, too. And I need you to be my friend, too. I know. I'll talk about Facebook. These are not social media, either. I know, Zant. I know. Zav, you're so perfect. Mom, I'm asking your mother. Mom, is she perfect? I'm just kidding. But you know what I want to? I do want to ask you. You have such an amazing way of bringing scripture into everything that we talk about. And so do you flow, go flow. Do we have a favorite scripture? Quickly, give me your favorite scriptures, girls. That means the most to you. I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me. Amy, that was going to be so happy. That's why she's so happy she could do all of this. That was going to be mine. We must. What do you have, Cory? My mind's Romans 826. In the same way, the spirit helps us in our weakness. We don't even know what we ought to pray for. The Holy Spirit is intervening on our behalf in groans with that words can't be understood. The first time I read that verse, I cried. It's so powerful. The Holy Spirit 24-7 is interceding on our behalf with the Father when I have no idea what to pray for. And I know there are people out there. You don't know what's wrong. You don't know what to pray for. The spirit is interceding to you. I like it. Go, go. When you pray, Ecclesiastes 311, he makes everything beautiful in its time. It gives us hope. So when we pray, we have hope. I like that. Because we know he's going to make it beautiful. I like that. Flo. I don't really have one. It depends on what I'm going through. What? It's the truth. It depends on what I'm going through and what scripture is applying it to, you know, applicable to me at that time. But I can't honestly say that I have a favorite one. Well, we all have scriptures that we love. And you know what? The scriptures that we love can help you too. I need you to call that number that's on the screen or find us at CTVN. We have a saying here. And this is a scripture I really love and it pauses me because it's so true. And it goes like this, as iron sharpens iron, so does the countenance of a man or a sister sharpen the other. Do you understand that these girls have made me a better Kathy? We're sister to sister. We're so happy you're with us. Tune in next time. Oh my goodness, that was an amazing show. That was, we're so glad you are with us for sister to sister. And my sister and my pastor, Amy, has another scripture I think. One of my life core verses is Psalms 92, 13, that those planted in the house of the Lord shall flourish in the courts of our God. I love it that God didn't just leave us alone and say, here, figure it all out. But he actually plants us in a house where we grow relationships. We grow in the word. We can grow as wonderful women of God. Get planted and flourish today, my sister. That's what you're watching. Right, right. And what I say to you all the time is this thing we end with, which is as iron sharpens iron, look it up, look it up. It's fabulous scripture for you. That means the countenance of a man strengthens the other. We want you to connect with us and send us an email, S2S, at ctvn.org and tune in every Wednesday for sister to sister because we love sharing our lives with you.