 Your coca-cola bottler presents Claudia based on the famous play and novels by Rose Franken Brought to you transcribed Monday through Friday by your friendly neighbor who bottles coca-cola Relax and while you're listening refresh yourself. Have a coke and now Claudia Like you sing beautifully go to I like to sing I like to do everything wash I and cook oh what you're cooking this minute smells Absolutely heavenly you sure I can't help you help and waste time I mean if you want dinner for seven o'clock. Mmm. There's something in what you say I can manage here Take these sandwiches and have your drinks out on the grass under the apple tree. Oh dear Gertrude you're an angel. I wanted everything particularly nice for Mr. Kelly and it is finger bowls, too I saw him get out of the car and I said to myself Gertrude. There's a man that likes finger balls. You're right He's a very punctilious person yet. He's so nice really think he would be he's mr. Norton's partner. Oh nice. Say ain't it lucky your mom went to town for a couple of days or he couldn't stay tonight Oh, I don't think he'd stay anyway. He's on his way to Boston to see his son. He just stopped off Say isn't it lucky we had a turkey sitting in the icebox just waiting to be cooked. If you leave it to Gertrude She'll never be caught shot when company comes here. Don't forget the little napkin. Some of them sandwiches is leaking. Oh, thanks Leave him be don't want to go he likes to stay with Gertrude him and me we get along fine We do all right for you bluff. Come on Shakespeare. You come on on. See your uncle Roger cat They don't want to go neither leave him be here. I'll hold the door open for you Sure, it ain't there before you three glasses in a plate. What do you think? I am mine You go out on the lawn and don't bother till I call you. This is all mine Hey David take this train for me will you? Oh, that's where you've been. Yeah, we wondered where you disappeared. Mm-hmm Order oh, you shouldn't have gone to all that trouble. I cannot tell a lie Roger. I didn't get to did Who's got to didn't David tell you that he only just got here He's been busy looking at all the improvements we made since the last time he was here We haven't gotten around to Gertrude yet Mm-hmm. These are good. What are they different kinds? The one you just ate is cheese or something What's the one I'm going to eat? Let me taste it and I'll tell you Good fish or something Listen stop it don't let Gertrude cat is eating them. Isn't that what they're for if not I've been robbed Yes, but not here Gertrude is given strict orders We're not we're to have our drinks under the apple tree I suppose you'll get around eventually to telling me who Gertrude is Who is Gertrude? Who is he? David be quiet. She'll hear you. She'll leave Gertrude I now begin to suspect is the new maid. You suspect correctly and she's like no maid You ever heard of before in a class all by herself You're very fortunate actually most of them simply won't go away out in the country like this Well, there's a trick to it Gertrude lives way out in the country. In fact, she lives right down the road apiece Listen to him down the road apiece. He's already taken on her lingo Hurry up David dinner's almost ready the apple tree is waiting for us. Look I I don't like to eat outdoors shame on you What's the matter with the living room? But the apple trees in bloom. I heartily applaud Gertrude's taste It's the most gorgeous sight I ever saw. It's just as gorgeous through the window without bugs dropping on you Shame on you, too. Oh, we are overruled David by a vast majority I'm not so fast. I have a confession to make. I don't like bugs myself I always think it's rather an exploded idea all this eating out of doors Good, then you're one of us. Come on David. You take the trade Gertrude's got the chairs and tables all set out for I see Gertrude says we go under the apple tree. So out we go under the apple tree Exactly. Are you mice or men mice? So would you be if you live miles away from nowhere and you had a new baby coming in an old house say no more Circumstances altercases. Yeah, David. Let me carry the orders. Go away. I don't trust you Hmm. There's some peanut butter. I want my money back and what's wrong with peanut butter Hmm Delicious. I think it's mixed with horseradish or something. Is it I don't know Gertrude keeps her secrets to herself I can't wait until I meet this remarkable female. Oh, not not not so much David. Gloria Just a little coke and if it's no trouble, I think I'll change my mind and have the same Oh, it's lovely out here, isn't it? Smells so fresh and damp with twilight. Oh it does Well, I have to admit it Gertrude was right. This is better than indoors. Yep. What's that? What? That sounded like thunder Oh, it is thunder for goodness sakes is going to be a storm Look lightning Oh, I hope it's going to be a good one while it's about it You astound me claudia. Why? Because I see standing me for me a woman who is not only not afraid of thunder nighting But who seems to enjoy it? Well, I've never been hit by it. Maybe that's why she's just modest I don't think she'd be scared of it. Anyway, you know, roger. She's quite an extraordinary person Which person are we talking about now Gertrude or claudia me because I'm not afraid of a storm astonishing That was a good one wasn't it though Look at the sky was like big gusts of smoke rolling over the heavens Why she even gets poetical in a storm I tell you she's a very remarkable person that wife of mine Oh Oh Here comes the rain. You take the tray roger. I'll I'll get the cushions off the chair right Hey, look, I'll help you with that. Uh go on. You go on with roger. I you you'll get soaked Oh, don't be silly. It's only a summer shower Oh, look take take the tray right to the kitchen roger and introduce yourself to Gertrude If my courage doesn't desert me. I know roger a reminder that you have to catch the 806 Come on. Come on. Come on. Hurry out of this rain. But don't rush It's someplace near the house Here we are You look like a little drowned rat. Well, you don't look so handsome yourself and your hair plastered down That's almost blinded me David. You all right. Sure. I'm fine. Get in out of this What's happened to roger? I wonder he's probably making up to Gertrude That is precisely what I intend to do this moment. Claudia, come here. Come here while I kiss you soundly and with increasing respect and admiration upon both cheeks. Now, what have I done? Oh, what haven't you done? Such adjectives as extraordinary, incredible and remarkable fail to describe you. I shall have to get an entirely new vocabulary. It's crazy. I know I'm wonderful but not that wonderful. Yes, what's uh, what's this all about? Look here, you two. You can pull my leg so far and no further. There is no Gertrude. Gertrude is a myth, the figment of the imagination, a projection of a paragon of competence. David, what is he talking about? I am talking about David's wife, orders under the apple tree, a turkey roasted to a turn waiting on the stove, an apple pie sitting on the windowsill. I closed the window by the way or it would have gotten wet and look at it as sweet and then ruffled as a summer day. And I really fell for that story of the perfect maid. Hey, come back here. Where are you going? Hey, wait for me, Claudia. Don't trip over that rug. Gertrude, David, she's not here. Oh, where is she? Well, I don't know. Everything's ready to serve and Gertrude isn't here. David, Roger doesn't believe that Gertrude really is. Producer, she's gone. She can't be. Look in the dining room. We came through the dining room. And she's not in the pantry or any place. Now, listen, why carry a joke beyond its funniest point? I've got a train to catch, so let's carve the turkey and start right in. I'm famished. We've got the soup first. Excellent. I adore soup. And here we are. The soup plates all set out above the stove. Claudia, will you allow me to ladle? Yes, yes, ladle. David, this is serious. We have lost Gertrude. Say, we've lost Bluff, too. Bluff. Here, Bluff. Here, Bluff. That's right. Where is the dog? Yes, Roger. What else have you got for that? I suppose we never had a great-dane dog. Doubtless your mother took him with her into New York. Oh, that's all Mama needs. She might have gotten sick and gone home. Who, Mama? No, no, not Mama. Gertrude. Oh. And she might have taken the dog with her. Oh, no, she would have told us. But listen, phone her house and see anyway. That's what I'm trying to do. What's the matter? The phone's on the blink. I don't wonder. You probably won't have light or water either. Oh, your cheering is at no end. Oh, here's Shakespeare. Shakespeare, where is everybody? He won't talk. Come on, time's the fleeting. I'm putting the soup on the table. Careful of that swing door. It comes back and hit you when you least expect it. Oh, so attached. Roger, you look so fun. Listen, David, this is no joke. What could have happened to Gertrude? Well, I haven't the faintest notion. All I know is that Roger will never in the world believe we haven't been pulling his leg about her. You think you really think I'm wonderful enough to have had hors d'oeuvres under the apple tree and cook this marvelous dinner at the same time? You heard him say so. Very well, then. I might as well have the game as the name. Just after Roger's trainees will attend to the matter of finding one lost maid and one lost great-dane dog. But in the meantime, Gertrude is the cat out of Gertrude's way. Mr. Norton, hand me that plate for the roles. Come on. You don't know what you're missing. The soup is wonderful. He was the best of all. I'm glad you enjoyed everything, Roger. Enjoyed it? That is a complete understatement of fact. You will pardon me for being proud of my wife, will you not? Such soup. Such turkey. Such salad. And you will pardon me if I remain speechless. I have run out of my second set of adjectives. Oh, really? Now what's so hard about throwing together a little dinner? I'd like to see the average young bride do it. Well, you just have. What was that? Did I hear something? Sounded like a door opening and closing. Listen, I wasn't walking around the kitchen. I wonder who it could be. Gertrude. Hey, Gertrude. Is that you? Yes, sir. It's me. Well, you went in a bland sakes. I don't see how you could have the stomach to with a thunder and lightning. Fit the killer body. I ain't afraid of nothing else in the world but thunder and lightning. It just scares me stiff. Yes, sirry Bob. Me and Bluff went down the cellar to be safe. He's still down there shivering like a leaf. How was the turkey? Oh, fine. You didn't fix the gravy right, Mrs. Norton. You should have added the yolk of the egg I had all beat up in red egg. I should. I couldn't imagine what that yolk of egg was for. Well, anyway, the storm cleaned up in time for me to serve the finger bowls. I'll have them right here in a jiffy. Hope you enjoyed your dinner, Mr. Killian. Oh, I'm starting out on my third set of adjectives. Of all the unscrupulous, incorrigible, unpredictable... Are you talking about my wife, sir? He is talking about your wife, sir. When the young people come trooping in with their friends and head for the refrigerator, you know what they're after. And if they don't find Coca-Cola enough to go round, you can just imagine the disappointed exclamations. So you'll find it's wise to follow the example of so many mothers today and order Coke by the case. Your grocer or gas station attendant will put a case in the car for you. Put Coke on your shopping list today. So there really is a Gertrude. Yes, there really is, and quite a Gertrude she is. Dinner certainly was delicious. Well, from now on I think life will go pretty smoothly for the Nortons. It'll go smoothly till Monday at any rate. Only until Monday? What happens then? Well, I don't want to tip my mitt, but Claudia is going to receive a letter. Well, that's not so very unusual, is it? This happens to be a very unusual letter. So unusual that Claudia isn't even going to tell Mama and David about it. Well, that is unusual. What happens? You'd better wait until Monday to find out, so I'll see you then. You will indeed. Goodbye, Mr. King. Bye. Every day Monday through Friday, Claudia comes to you transcribed with the best wishes of your friendly neighbor who bottles Coca-Cola. So listen again Monday at the same time. And now this is Joe King saying, or of war. And remember, whoever you are, whatever you do, wherever you may be, when you think of refreshment, think of Coca-Cola. For Coca-Cola makes any pause the pause that refreshes. And ice-cold Coca-Cola is everywhere. And now here's a word from your friendly neighbor who bottles Coca-Cola.