 This makes you unreachable to the narcissist. This makes you inaccessible and unapproachable, where it is not possible for them to get a hold of you. And it all starts by realising what is causing you to hold on to the narcissist, what is preventing you from cutting them off. Victims of narcissists often hold on to hope. They hold on to a feeling of expectation and desire for a particular thing to happen. They hold on to a feeling of trust because they want something to happen. They want things to change. They want things to be better and they still believe in the narcissist. They have confidence in the narcissist potential because the narcissist will often show you that they have the capacity to develop something in the future. They will show you that they have qualities or abilities that may be developed and lead to future success or usefulness and that is what causes you to attach yourself to them. That is what causes you to depend on them. But you're hurting yourself by doing that. It puts you in a difficult and confusing situation and you get so involved in it that you do not notice other things about them. You don't realise what is happening to you. Holding on to a narcissist potential can ruin your life. You keep trying to make them become who you need them to be but you need to realise that you are seeing their potential right now. They didn't stop making progress. This is the result of their potential. This person who is abusing you. This person who made all of these promises about the future. This is who they are and they're quite happy with it. They're quite comfortable laying in their own filth. They don't have any desire to change anything which is why you're the one who is doing all of the work. You're the one who is unhappy with less love, less affection, less communication. The narcissist is quite happy with it. They don't see anything wrong because this is what they used to. It's familiar to them so they just expect you to accept it or you have to move on because as long as you're with the narcissist it's always going to be an emotional rollercoaster. It's always going to alternate between making you excited and happy to making you sad, disappointed and desperate. That's never going to change. It's never going to be enough for you but you may accept the breadcrumbs which they will use to trap you. They will give you small signs of wanting something but in reality they have no intention of formalising. They have no intention of giving it a definite structure. They're just giving you enough to make you hooked, to keep you in their sights because they still find benefits in keeping you around. So they will give you a momentary glimpse of whatever they think you want to see. They will give you small signs of affection but it's only to keep you from moving on. The narcissist will seem to love you the most when you've got one foot out the door but when you accept their potential you will end up separating yourself from reality. It will put you in a difficult and confusing situation. You need to get back to reality. The narcissist will show you their potential because they don't want you to see the reality. They want to keep you fantasising about what they could be. They don't want you to see who they really are which is why they breadcrumbed you which is why they give you morsels of attention and affection. It's to keep you thinking about how things could be if they put all of their effort into it because if they gave you all of their effort right away you may not like them as much. You may think that if they showed you who they really are you would still love them but when victims see who the narcissist is underneath their mask they don't love them anymore. If they showed you who they really are from the beginning you wouldn't like them to become unreachable to the narcissist. You need to avoid thinking about their potential. You need to accept that everything they're showing you is who they actually are. There is nothing else. Everything they had to offer to you is what you've already gotten. There isn't some other wonderful side to their personality. You've already witnessed everything that they had to offer. That was the real thing. Thank you for watching. I hope the video where it's in it with you. Please like, comment, share and subscribe. If you would like to donate my PayPal link is in the video description. Coaching Inquiries. You can email me at coaching.naxify.uk. Thank you for watching and I'll talk to you soon.