 It's so stupid, it's positively brilliant. The brilliant, the brilliant, the brilliant, the brilliant, the brilliant, the brilliant, the brilliant, the brilliant, the brilliant, the brilliant. You do that. Yep, Sheldon, mainie guy. Andrew Schultz. We are the brilliant idiots since today's show is brought to you by... Squarespace. Squarespace, turn your great idea into reality with Squarespace. Squarespace makes it easier than ever to launch your passion project, whether you're showcasing your work or selling products of any kind with beautiful templates and the ability to customize just about anything. You can easily make a beautiful website yourself. And if you do get stuck, Squarespace is 24-7 award-winning. Customer support is there to help. Head to squarespace.com slash idiot for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use the offer code IDIOT to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Charlamagne, let's get the show started. How are you doing? I am blessed black and highly favored, sir. How are you? Same. You know what I mean? There is no race in quarantine, bro. We're all the same. I like quarantine. We're all locked in. We can't be treated differently because we're not outside to be treated by other people. We are all the same during this quarantine. And I got to say, as a black man, it's pretty good. That is a fact. Listen, a lot of people are getting to know themselves in a way that they didn't know themselves. And I think a lot of people are realizing, like, they really don't do shit. Say what? A lot of people are realizing they really don't do shit. Bro, you know what I'm realizing? I am gaining weight at an exponential pace. Oh, I did it. I had to do a diet. What'd you do? Because I need to do it. I got, you know, Dr. Sandy has this diet. And it's like she gives you this protein powder. She gives you this white powdery stuff that you take before bed that helps to flatten your stomach. And she has these, like, energy boosting pills. But it's really a diet plan. So for, like, three days, you got to do this detox where you only have a shake for breakfast, a shake for lunch with the energy boosting pills. And then at dinner, you have, like, vegetables and, like, like, seven ounces of meat, whatever the fuck. Not pounds, ounces of meat. And then you do that for three days. And then for the next 30 days, you can have either egg whites for breakfast, a protein shake for breakfast, or a salad at lunch with the protein, and then two snacks in between. So, like, protein bars. Long story short, I was 196 and I'm 182 now. Oh, wow. And I started last week. Wow, that's weight cutting for a fight, bro. 14 pounds in a week. Absolutely. But I mean, I've done it before. I've done her diet before. You know what I mean? So it's kind of like... So you're used to it. It's kind of easy for me, but it absolutely works. So I had to drop weight too. I was 196. I was like, man, what the fuck? I can't be calling people a wide hip having hater. And then God damn... When you look at all wide-hipped... Yeah, you start to spread. You got to lean that shit to fuck out. Well, my diet, if you're curious, is I eat three meals a day and then in between those meals, I usually eat a bag of dried mango from Whole Foods. In between every single meal. I'm probably polishing two bags of dried mango a day. How many meals do you eat a day? Three meals a day plus dried mango plus granola bars when I'm at the studio. I haven't stopped. Me and my girl polished off an entire beef Wellington. I mean, it has been... We've been eating like royalty, but at the same time I am gaining weight and I am shitting nonstop. I took six shits yesterday. Wow. Yeah, my girl thought I was avoiding her. Like, you're just going to the bathroom and use your phone. I'm like, I am doing that, but I'm also taking shits because we haven't stopped eating the entire time we've been in quarantine. No, that's the wildest part about quarantine, right? It's like, yo, you just can't stop fucking eating and it's like you're just snacking, snacking, snacking. And you know, it's crazy because I know why. I think it's because on vacation I eat like that, right? But this ain't no fucking vacation. This ain't no holiday, baby. We're still in fight season. You got to stay in shape, motherfucker. That was wrong with you. No, I drink every single night of quarantine. I don't even drink that much. I'm not a drinker. I've had multiple drinks every single night we've been locked down. Every single night. I was doing that on weekends. But what about during the week? Not during the week. I was definitely doing it on Friday and really on Saturday, especially when it's a beat battle on Saturday, when it's one of the verses on Saturday. Oh, you have some sips. Oh, I was there. Yeah. I was fucking Hennessy VSOP, baby. I was there. Now, Remy. I didn't drink no room. You know why? Because I got Remy here. But I got so much liquor here. And I was like, damn, let me open up some of these new bottles. So I just happened to try Hennessy VSOP because I hate Hennessy, right? I've always hated regular Hennessy, but it's like a laxative to me and make me feel like how you felt yesterday just shitting all the time. And so I was like, fuck it. Let me try this VSOP because it's a better version. And that shit is actually really good. So I enjoyed it. Liquor is an interesting thing in that you got to drink a lot to distinguish flavor. You know what I mean? Like you have to be a very, like anybody who says they could taste the difference between like Srirac or Grey Goose or Kettle One or these things. Shut the fuck up. No, you can't. Only a fat Russian who's like 19 years old. Fam VSOP. You could taste the one that has pomegranate in it, but just a regular clear one. Well, that's a good point. That's a good point. I mean, listen, if somebody gave me three glasses at each one, I could tell that they're different. I couldn't tell you what they were though. I couldn't say, oh, this is Srirac. This is Kettle One. I bet you couldn't tell which one was better. Like I bet you couldn't guess what was a higher quality. Oh yeah, I feel what you're saying. Nobody can. Nobody gives a fuck. I mean, no, I know some seasoned drinkers who can, but the average drinker don't give a fuck. No, that's why it's so easy for famous people to get into the alcohol game because the alcohol tastes the same anyway. So you might as well take your celebrity and put that celebrity on a bottle. And then all of a sudden it's the bottle. That's what Diddy did with Srirac. Yeah, yeah. Diddy really drinks it though. He might really drink it, but it'll taste no different from the last vodka he was drinking prior. People fuck with Srirac though. You know what's so interesting about that? One of the first things Diddy did after he promoted it and like he was out for, yeah, I remember him, you know, letting people know that this has been rated one of the best vodka and he was actually putting up charts showing how Srirac is rated better than Grey Goose or whatever the fuck it was. I don't know if that helped any, but. Son, it's such, it's such horseshit dude. It's like vodka is just like the diamond trade where it's all like, like my girl, you know, we're talking about maybe a little ring situation right now. Okay, okay. So my girl has become a diamond fucking expert in the last two weeks. I mean, she knows all the fucking things. Like now rap songs make sense to me that never made sense. Like I didn't know what like VVS was or VS. Do you know what I mean? Like I had no clue what the fuck future was talking about. But now VS is like very slightly indicated. Yeah. So that means it's a really good diamond if it's VS and then there's VVS very, very slightly indicated. There's SI, like there's all these different things with quality of diamonds and the size of the diamond, all this other shit. And it's just like, what are we doing? I thought a VS was a fucking car. Son, I thought it was Victoria's Secret. The fuck is V? It's V something in a car. V. Oh, that's the cylinders. You know, a V8. V8. V8. There you go. V8 cylinders. And I got a metro car. And I got a metro car. You have to trust your jeweler. Say again? You have to trust your jeweler. You got to put trust in your jeweler like you do your doctor or your lawyer, bro. Because I don't know anything about that shit. Sluice to my guy, Mr. Flawless, flute to my girl, Pat. They could have been getting over on me for years. You got to hook me up, plug me in with someone because these parts are- Oh, Flawless the man. Well, Flawless, how about your boy? I'm about to go to Paul Wall for my engagement ring. Hold on. Let me say his real name. Greg Yuna. Oh, Greg. The guy who makes traffic. Yeah. He loves making some traffic. I don't know. I've never seen him do that in real life. I still to this day think that shit is Photoshop. I don't know how to fuck Greg Paul's that shit off. Ow, he's in the middle. Like, if you see where his business is, it's in the middle of the diamond district. And that right there is, I think that's Fifth Avenue he'd be on. That should be busy all the fucking time. And you know what's so interesting? Great. Now that the city's closed, I ain't see you post one fucking video. Now was the time to be getting that shit off. Maybe he's banking them. Maybe he's banking like 10 for the future. And they'll post them once everybody's back in motion. Yes. You might be and put the in Photoshop the cars in it. Hmm. To my God, Greg, you know, I hook you up. I tell Greg, look out for you. All my girl Pat. I got my my wife's wedding ring for my girl Pat. Pat not from here though. Very hard. Very hard to understand. Where I forgot what her ethnicity is, but very hard to understand, but always treats me very right. Where's she from? I don't fucking know. She's her. Her building is in the diamond district. Is she white? She's black. She's Asian. What is she? No, she's she's pale, but I don't know what the fuck she is from another country. Come on, bro. I really don't know what she is. I'm not the feds. I'm not asking. I'm over here. Just tell me what the lady is. She's told me a million times. I want to say I started to say Peruvian, but that don't sound right. I need, bro, I need a real like I need a diamond expert diamond connoisseur. Is Pat man. I need the hookup though, man. I need the plug. I don't care if the diamonds illegal. I don't care if one of the little boys in the diamond mind snuck it out in their butthole. I don't give a fuck what it is. I just can't play pay this market value for these types of diamonds. This is absurd. What do you want? Say again. Let me catch you on. I want and how many my girl wants are very different questions. Man. Yeah. What does she want? Say again. What? How many cards does she want? Too many. Hmm. You know. Okay. But I get it. This is like this is their whole their whole life. They've been thinking about this moment. You know what I mean? Like they've been thinking about how they're going to get engaged to and every Disney movie has been manipulating them into thinking that this is the exact moment. So it's more than just a piece of jewelry. So I understand and I empathize with them for that. But as a guy, we're not trained in any way to like enjoy or look forward to this moment. Like I'm not. It's the championship, bro. What do you mean? It's the championship. You got to get her a nice ring. It's the championship. This is the closest women will get to feeling like they're in the NBA finals. Hmm. You know what I'm saying? Like this is when they get that ring, man. This is like that Super Bowl at MLB World Series ring. Like, you know, yes, I know. But isn't there part of you that also goes where I could put a down payment on a house? You know, like these rings can get so expensive. We're not talking about two, $3,000 ring. We're talking about, you know, it's a lot of thousands of dollars. You could put that money down the house. You could put that money in the stock market right now while it's super low and then 10 years from now, who knows how much that's worth. Maybe your kids colleges pay for it, you know? Well, don't shoot your load all at once. I mean, what I did when I was... How do you shoot just a little of your load? You just let a little bit of come out. And then hold this. Hmm. This is a little squirt. Just enough. Just enough to go. You know what I'm saying? That's all you want. You don't want to go to... You don't want to let the whole shit out. Just love it. That's why you got three girls, bro. You haven't been busting the whole load. You might be right. You got to bust the balls in the dick end with it. You might be right. That's that scared pulling out at the same time, but you're just letting just enough get in. All the little boys end up on the stomach. The little girls are like, ha ha, fuck you, brothers. So, but it's like, yo, back in the day, I bought... I acted my wage and I bought my girl what I could afford. Right. And I think I spent like 10 grand on a ring back in like 20, what? 13 when I got engaged. I don't remember. I think it was 2013. So it's like, yeah. And then what I've done over the years is I've upgraded the ring. That's all. And that's something I'm going to continue to do. I think I've upgraded it twice already. And that's just something I'll continue to do. Just continue to upgrade, upgrade the ring. I actually bought her a whole new ring and she wears like both of them. Yeah. So it's just like, just continue to upgrade the diamond. That's all. Yeah. But I think that... Yeah. There is that. There is that option. What do you think about like surprising them with it? You know, I think... Got to. No, no. I know you have to surprise them, but like I'm practical about this. I know a woman wants to be completely surprised by the engagement, right? Uh-huh. But even if she says that she wants me to pick out the ring, she don't want me to pick out the fucking ring. She got to wear this for the rest of her life. All her friends going to see this shit. The ring ain't even about me. The ring is about her friends being jealous, right? About everyone in her family and her like close circle being jealous that she got the nicest ring, right? Yeah. Now, she would never say that. She might not even feel like that. But I know culturally that's what that shit is about. That's the big dick. Does she have homegirls? Say what? Does she have homegirls? Yeah, yeah, of course. Uh, hello. Uh, all Andrew's future's wife, future fiance's homegirls. Could you help the brother out? You can't trust them, hating ass bitches. Yes, you... No, you can't. They're going to make you end up with some shit that she going to hate. And then she got to look at me and smile and be happy. You got to go right to the source, bro. But she is the source. My wife has the ring she truly wants now because our good friend, Debbie Brown, she was, she was talking to Debbie Brown and telling Debbie Brown what ring she wanted. And Debbie told me, you know what I'm saying? So that's what made me go get the, when I upgraded the ring, that's the ring I got. And now she's fucking happy. It's a little pear shaped joint. You know what I mean? That's all I ask the friends. Ask the friends for help. Call a friend, bro. I don't know, bro. I don't know, man. For me with these types of things, I'm like, you might be a little bit less happy now, but in the long term, you're going to be way happier because you're going to have that thing. The joy of getting engaged, I think is only part of it. The joy of showing off that ring to your friends is the exact ring that you wanted. That's, I think, what their most value, right? Aesthetically about it. Obviously they value being with you forever and starting this family and starting this marriage, whatever, but showing that shit off, the exact thing that they want, I think that's what they value. And I'm like, I'm not about to take that away from you by me choosing it and fucking up, because I'm going to fuck it up. I'm going to get her Batman ring. But that'd be dope. See? See why we can't do this? You know what I mean? The prongs of the diamond Wolverine claws. Batman diamond rings. Give your girl a bat signal and you tell her, like, look, all you have to do is flash just in the air and I'm going to be here for you. You can't leave it up to us, bro. That's fire. Listen, let's get into some positively brilliant and what a fucking idiot, man. My first positively brilliant in a week goes to the celebrity in chief, big dope 45. Donald J. motherfucking Trump. What he do? What he do, bro? The fact that he's ordering the IRS to print his name on the stimulus checks. Better believe it. Hey, bro. Hey, bro. Man, listen, man. Better believe it. You say what the fuck you want. If you are surprised by that, then you've never had a Trump stake. You clearly live in a city where there's no motherfucking Trump tower. Donald Trump knows that there's an election in November. And he wants you to remember where that goddamn $1,200 or $700 or $500 or whatever the fuck it is. He wants you to know where it came from. Listen, in the mail a couple of weeks ago, I got a postcard that said Donald J. Trump's tips for coronavirus prevention or some shit like that. Yeah. And I'm just like, this is great branding. Dude, this is great marketing. This is why none of the politicians can fuck with Donald Trump when it comes to the headlines because they're still, they're boxing against a UFC fighter. They're boxing, trying to boxing. These motherfuckers chicken them in the shins, put them in the choke hole, put them in choke. Like, no, let's box, let's box. He's like, fuck all that. You're not going to beat him at his game, bro. He's a DJ-catholic, diddy-level brander. Brander, yeah. I mean, that's genius. But at the same point in time, it's like, if I'm giving away a trillion dollars, you're going to know who gave it away. You know me. I like my credit. You know what I'm saying? I'm not going to let some lowly congressman take credit for you getting that money. That's coming from Schultz. Is that not wild? Trump had to get all of this shit voted for. Congress had to vote for it. The Senate had to vote for it. He's like, man, fuck all that. Ain't enough room on this goddamn check for all of our names. Donald J. Trump. I was surprised you didn't have to vote for that. Say what? I was surprised you didn't have to vote for that. Man, yeah, why didn't he? I mean, maybe there's certain things you get to do as president. You got to have like a little, I'm going to just do this power, but I just love it. I really do love it. I think it's hilarious. The guy's hilarious. He's hilarious, but he's actually very smart. And this is a, I think this is law 37 and the 48 laws of power. And it's just your create compelling spectacles. You know what I'm saying? When you create compelling spectacles, people won't even see what the fuck it is. You're really doing what you're really doing is fucking up the country. What you really did, they said, if he would have acted two weeks faster, I think they said he would have saved like, like tens of thousands of lives. I can't remember what the exact number it was, but they had an exact number of if Trump would have just acted two days faster to this Corona shit, he would have fucking, it would have saved tens of thousands of lives. And I want to put this in. What a fucking idiot, man. The media, bro. Haven't we only lost tens of thousands of lives? I think we only lost like 20,000 lives, right? I don't know. Or maybe it was a number of people that got sick. I don't remember what the fuck it was. Let me look it up. People got sick. It's about making sure people don't die. But if we only lost 20,000, that's literally tens of thousands. So he would have, we lost 25,000. So if he would have saved all 25,000 by operating a week earlier, I don't know if he would have saved 25,000. I think he would have saved, I don't remember what the exact number was. They had an exact number though. Well, it doesn't matter. Where's the brilliant idiots? We don't need to know the exact facts, bro. You don't come to us for facts. Come on. I want to put under what a fucking idiot the media, especially CNN. And the reason I say that is because I was watching like, you watch CNN, right? And MSNBC, all the cable news network, that's not Fox. They'll play over and over. Donald Trump saying how he never said it was a hoax. How he never said not to take this shit serious. They'll play that clip over and over and over. And then after they play it, the anchors will come back and be like, but he lied. Now, average person watching TV, who do you think they're paying attention to? This clip, this loop being played over and over saying, I never said it was a hoax. I never said it was a pandemic or the fucking anchor saying, and he lied. What they should be doing is playing the actual clip of him saying, oh, it's a hoax. We got it all under control. It's a democratic hoax. Play that over and over and over and over. So people constantly see that because I watched CNN the other day. And for two seconds, I was like, well, he never said it was a hoax because they keep playing the loop over and over and over and over and over again. And I think I got a little bit of sense. I'm not the highest grader weed in the dispensary. But if that shit had that type of impact on me, imagine what type of impact it has on just a regular average person who might just be flipping channels and decides to tune in to CNN for a motherfucking second. You don't know what to believe. So if you want to push a certain message, you want to push a certain narrative about Donald J. Trump, and it's not even a narrative. It's the truth that he absolutely said this shit was a hoax. Just keep playing that over and over and over and over again. By the way, you don't even have to repeat it because even when it comes out your mouth, it sounds like you're lying on the president. It sounds like you're lying on him because he's your opposition. Just use the clip of him saying it over and over and over. That's the only thing you should be running. That's it. And why do you think they don't do that? Bro, I really don't know. That's why I have them in the what a fucking idiot segment. Like I wouldn't even show the contrast if I was them. If I was them, I wouldn't even show him saying he never said it and then him saying it. I would just constantly keep playing. It's a democratic hoax. We got it all in the control. That's it. That's all I would play over and over and over the fucking game. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. It's a tricky, it's a tricky fucking thing, man. It's really not. This shit really isn't that difficult shows. What do you mean? You turn on CNN right now. Yeah. Like, like, like all you would see, this can go into what a fucking idiot too. If you turn on CNN right now, all you see is Chris Cuomo and Donald Trump. You know what Joe Biden did this week? Pissed himself. He put out a great op-ed in New York Times about how to properly reopen the country after, you know, during, after the corona shit. Yeah. He got endorsed by Bernie Sanders. He got endorsed by President Barack Obama. What a fucking coward Bernie Sanders is, huh? What an absolute coward. You got endorsed by President Barack Obama. Finally, the Black Panther came to speak up for Hawkeye and he got endorsed by Elizabeth Warren. Now, when you get endorsed, does that mean all the money that you raised goes to them? That's a good question. I don't know. Is that what the endorsement is? No, I think the endorsement is for people who are uninspired by a candidate like I am when it comes to Joe Biden. It's for people like me because if a guy like, you know, Barack Obama, I respect and appreciate if he says Biden is the guy, even if I don't believe Biden is the guy, maybe I believe Barack when he tells me that Biden is the guy. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, I guess. I'm just so let down by Bernie Sanders, man. I voted for him before. I was going to vote for him again. I really fucking supported him. I loved him. I thought that he was a truly like brave guy that had our best intentions at heart. And now I just think that he's just like a disrupter. He doesn't really care about getting anything done. Like when you literally walk the people, remember when Martin Luther King was like, I feel like I'm walking my people into a burning house. Yeah, yeah, yeah. When you do that, when you walk your people into the burning house, like when you, when you can't even call out the corruption, you can't even call out the fuck shit. Like I don't even know what his goal is. Like go be a teacher at some fucking liberal arts college. Coward. This shit really pissed me off, dude. Like call out the fuck shit. Just call it out. You know, you've been in politics. You know, the same people that will prop up Donald Trump will prop up Joe Biden. It's the same people. These people are not different. It's the same banks that are going to prop them both up. It's the same rich folks are going to prop them both up. It's the same people that are going to make money off of Trump and make money off of Biden. No different. Yeah. Bernie didn't even hold his nuts enough to say, motherfuckers. I was right. Because everything you do, and that was straight Bernie. This is what Bernie been telling y'all needs to be done. You know, all of this, all of this time when they was telling Bernie, they tell us all you can't get the money to do what it is. Bernie wants to do shit. They scraped up 2 trillion from somewhere. Out of nowhere. Huh. You know what I mean? So it's just like, Bernie is fucking right. Like who right now in America after looking at the way our healthcare is being hit wouldn't say all Americans need. Free fucking healthcare. I'm going to say now is the time to grab your fucking balls and go, right? Now is the time to grab your fucking balls and be like, I tried to tell you motherfucker. And Van Jones is on breakfast club and Van Jones said right now Bernie Sanders looks like the smartest person in American politics. But I got a problem with the media, the liberal media, because they didn't say that when Bernie was fucking running. When Bernie was in the primaries, if they were saying shit like that, they probably could have swayed some motherfuckers in the Gulf. They know where their bread is buttered. They're going to do it. Daddy tells them what the fuck to do. You know, same companies making money off of Biden being present. Those are the people that are manipulating CNN and their journals to say whatever the fuck they want. There's a reason why everyone on CNN is the same opinion. Like that's not shocking. The same thing with Fox. There's a reason why they all have the same opinion, right? It's not like they hired people who all think the same. It's in order to work here, you have to think like this. And if you don't, you're either fired or we tell you to think like this. Yeah. I mean, that's why when certain people get on, you know, CNN or MSNBC, they cut through because, you know, you hear certain rhetoric and you like, ooh, that sounds refreshing. You know what I'm saying? I've never heard that type of truth before. Like, I want to put on the water fucking idiot. Nina Turner, who to send to the Nina Turner. Nina Turner has been a surrogate for Bernie Sanders for a long time. She used to ride with Hillary, but then she was like, oh, she used to ride with Hillary, but then she left Hillary to get with Bernie. And, you know, back in 2016, they screwed her over at the DNC convention. You know, I think she was supposed to speak at the Democratic National Convention in the last minute. They pulled her and never gave no explanation as to why they pulled her and Bernie Sanders didn't stick up for her then or come to her defense. And, you know, this go around. She was out there stomping for Bernie again. And, you know, Bernie endorsed Biden this week. You know, if you, if you heard what Bernie and Biden are going to do, they're starting these task forces. It was all of these different task forces. I think it's like six different task force, one for the economy, one for climate change. I just education, just different things. And so we had Nina turn on the breakfast club. And I was just like, yo, what task force are you going to be on? Because that's just a logical no brainer. Right. Because Bernie defers the Nina, you know, mentions her when he's doing his, when he's on the debate stage, like, you know, like I'm just thinking like Nina's his, his people. She's like, I don't want me on the task force. He told me verbatim. They don't want me on any of the task force. And I'm like, why? And she's like, cause I wrote an iPad about Joe Biden, you know, earlier this year. And just telling the truth about Joe Biden, you know, and I'm sure that when she wrote that iPad, that iPad got approved by Senator Sanders. So it's just like, yo, when you were on the campaign trail and you being the goon for somebody and doing a dirt, it's all good. But now that you are endorsing Joe Biden and you putting together these task force, why wouldn't you get a truth teller, somebody who speaks truth to power, somebody that black people actually trust? Why wouldn't you get her and put her on your team? I look, that should make me look at Bernie crazy and look at Joe crazy. He don't care. He don't fucking care. He never wanted to win. He just wanted to rouse shit up. It just, it makes, it makes, it's really just disappointing. It makes no sense whatsoever. And that's not how you make change. Change comes by fucking force, man. Yep. You know what I mean? You can't wag your finger and then change happens. Change takes radical movement and radical points of view and then radical action. That's the only way change happens. You can't just go hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot. Eight years in a row and expect something to happen. It's not going to fucking happen. Only time change comes with your fingers is if you got the fucking infinity gauntlet and your Thanos. You can just snap that shit. I had also, this is my last political thing. Positively brilliant. I got to give it to AOC, bro. What does she do? AOC is like, I'm not endorsing Joe Biden. What she said? She said, I'm not endorsing Joe Biden. She said it's very important to support the Democratic nominee. But I'm not endorsing Joe Biden until we sit down and talk about some motherfucking policies for me and my goddamn people. Meaning progressives and Latinos. I fucking respect it. You know why? Because you niggas are so quick to give up the ass without letting the motherfucker caught you first. Y'all don't even want no goddamn date. Y'all don't even want your pussy's ate. Y'all don't want nothing. Y'all just like, here, fuck me. Dry, no condom. Don't even spit on the dick. Just stick it in. That's what y'all be letting these motherfucking Democrats do to y'all. AOC like, no, no, no, no, no, no. You're going to court me, motherfucker. You're going to take me out. You're going to take me to dinner. Okay, I want me a fucking diamond. I want a VVVVVVVVVS. All right? I want some shit. And that's the way your vote should fucking work. Period. Nothing more, nothing less. Yeah, no, no. Then I have to apologize to AOC because I thought that she was just towing the company line. I thought she was really quiet during this time. The fact that she came out and said that, hey, more power to you. More power fucking to you. Good for you. That is how you get shit done. That is how you use your leverage. You have your most leverage right now. Like Joe, Bernie Sanders had his most leverage in this moment. Get some promises from Joe Biden. That's it. Don't just go out there, hop on Cardi B's Instagram and go, you should vote for him. Why? Why? Why, motherfucker? Why? What do they have on you? Guess what? Anybody with Trump ain't enough for me. Because guess what? They put us in that position every fucking election. That's right. Every election is a boogeyman. Every election is a... George Bush. Trump. Yep. Every election. McCain. McCain. Romney. But then when you fought, when these people aren't in the goddamn White House anymore. All of a sudden, they're charming characters. They're so charming. Look how fun they are. Tom McCain is the maverick. He is the ma... And Mitt Romney cares about the people. He balanced the budget. He balanced healthcare for Massachusetts. And George Bush is such good friends with Michelle Obama. I remember when Dave was calling George Bush to Auntie Christ. George Bush don't care about black people. Don't care about black people. Ten years later, he's exchanging fucking sweets with Michelle Obama. Every public gathering there is. That's what I'm saying, man. So it's just like every year they do this to us. They try to use scare tactics in order to make us just hand over our votes for nothing. And that shit has to fucking stop. And the only way to stop, the only way to stop is if you stop calling people who defect. Coons, Uncle Tom, Sellout, et cetera. It don't matter what. If somebody says, if Kanye goes, I'm voting for Donald Trump and you ask him why? And he goes, I'm doing it because I hate black people. Then you call him a Sellout. You call him a Coon. You call him Uncle Tom. If he goes, I'm doing it because the most important issue for me right now is prison reform. And I like his prison reform policy more than I like Biden's. You can't really call him a Sellout. He's voting his interests. But his interests are actually selfless, right? Because he's trying to get black people out of jail. So it's like, before you throw that fucking term out and you know who put that term in your head. They put that term in your head. They're giving you the ammunition. They're the ones telling you what to say to these people. Of course. It's like, this is so easy to manipulate, man. My ass from Joe Biden is quite simple. I want him to have a black woman running me for VP. He already said he's going to put a black woman on the Supreme Court. And I want him to have an economic black agenda. And I want him to create some type of criminal justice reform plan that basically counters, you know, all the damage he did with the 94 crime bill. Man, that's good. You know exactly what you want. And if he delivers, then you vote for him. It's very simple. Like this is how shit should work. And I think it's very stupid. That's why I put them under what a fucking idiot. It's very stupid with the need to turn this shit. Because it's like, you can't even front. Are you down with some progressives? Like, even if you just put her on the task force to keep up appearances, you know what I'm saying? Just to say, like, hey, we got need to turn it down with us. Like just, you don't even know how to front. Yup. What the fuck, Joe Biden? Jesus. Matter of fact, Joe touched Barack Obama and say, what is fronting me? Turn to Simone Sanders and say, what is fronting me? Ask the black people in your circle. What is fronting me? Because you need to learn how to goddamn do it. What? Hey, man, when you 78 years old, you are 78 years old. Anything. I don't give you an old white man, an old black man. You ain't got time for friend? Mm-mm. You putting that wrinkled dick on the table, nigga, and letting people go to fucking in at all times. I'm serious. I can't wait to get to that age. You think I'm going to bite my tongue at 78? You think I'm going to change my fucking stripes at 78? That's why Bernie's such a pussy. You're going to die. You might as well just call it out. You're dead in a few years. What do you got to lose? This is your one life. You spent your entire life fighting for this one idea. Bernie, I'm talking about, or not one idea, but for this group of ideas. And now you are this close, right? You weren't willing to lay it all on the line, bro. You weren't to give it up. Go in there and start swinging. It's the 12th round of your life. And you have the opportunity to potentially be present and you weren't willing to leave it all in a ring. I can't. You're a coward, bro. I agree with you. Let me play white devil's advocate a little bit. Please do. What if I'm Bernie Sanders? And like you said, I'm in the last days of my life, right? What if I know I can't win the presidency, but this is my opportunity to actually be in the White House to impact some type of meaningful change. I may not be the guy, but I can influence the guy in a real way. What if he's looking at it from that perspective? He's been in politics for 300 years, okay? He hasn't been able to influence shit. Why does he think all of a sudden he's going to be able to? I agree. I mean, maybe, I don't know. Maybe just because now of the power that he's garnered over the past four or five years by building the... But he hands over the power, bro. It's like what you were saying. It's like you could have all this influence in the world, right? A group of people could have all this influence of the world, but if you're not willing to listen to people's offers, you have no influence. If you're selling a house, right? And you're going, I'm only going to sell the house to that guy. Whatever that guy offers you is what you're getting. But if you're going, I'm willing to sell the house to anybody. I don't give a fuck. All of a sudden those people are going to compete for what offer they would give you and the highest offer is the one you're going to get. Let motherfuckers compete. Absolutely. I agree. I agree. In one last part, well, positively, bro, and I got to salute Governor Cuomo. He's on the cover of Rolling Stone magazine with the headline, Governor Cuomo takes charge. I told y'all three, four weeks ago, whatever the fuck this shit first started, I told y'all the fact that Joe Biden wasn't doing any daily counter-programming to Donald Trump, it really hurt him. And I understand that Governor Cuomo was a governor and he was going to do daily briefings anyway, but that actually turned into comfort for the whole nation. Yeah. And because of him doing that shit, being doing his daily briefings, and then going on with his brother on CNN at night and laughing and joking and just being a regular person and talking to people about their families and what you can be doing during this time to get through this quarantine, that shit made him a national star. And the time to look like a leader is in a crisis. Crisis reveals character, period. And his character looks like that of a leader. Joe Biden went to radio silent over that period of time when everybody was turning on the TV every day to listen to Donald Trump. And that's why for that moment, Donald Trump's approval rating shot up for the moment. Donald Trump's approval rating when it came to how he was handling the coronavirus shit shot up. I mean, it's gone down since, but I'm talking about in that moment, that shit worked for him. And it definitely worked for Governor Cuomo. And one of my partners, man, slew to my guy, Tommy, he was like, you think Joe Biden's not going to end up getting the cover of Rolling Stone? Let me put this in a little perspective for you. When Barack Obama ran for president in 2008, he got the cover of Rolling Stone twice that year. He got it in March of 2008. And then again, I believe in October our art in November issue was right before the election. Everything fucking helps. Everything. Cuomo in the front of Rolling Stone, Donald Trump on your goddamn stimulus check. Name brand recognition helps. Brand recognition helps you want to be top of the mind awareness Come November. Hmm, right. I wouldn't be surprised if in November people went into the fucking booth and wrote governor Cuomo's naming Yeah, they might I would not be surprised by that at all. I would not be surprised that we sitting around on election night in Donald Trump wins Joe you look at Joe Biden's numbers and then you see some silly shit like 8% of the country voted for fucking Road in governor Cuomo, that shit would not shock me at all you and guess what you have nobody to blame with your fucking self Yeah, yeah, yeah, it is a weird thing man. It shows you how biased we we fucking are man. It's uh, I was saying for What a fucking idiot I wanted to say All the people that were have been promoting body positivity for fat people, right? So you mean they're all what they're all fucking idiots Because they just they just put out I think it was the New York Times just put out I want to make sure I get it right. Oh, I saw that. I know you're going where my fat people die of corona more Where am I going bro? The fact I think I read an article that says fat people die fat people are more likely to die of corona than anything else It's fat people and old people. Those are the two leading Causes of corona death if you're fat or if you're old So I want to see all these body positivity people keep that same fucking energy. Oh Keep that same energy. It's such apocrisy, man It's apocrisy because you know, you do want to protect people. Here's the thing You're you're you're simultaneously trying to protect somebody's mental and emotional health, right? But then what you're also doing is hurting them physically Killing the truth. You're literally you're killing them. It used to be hurting now You kill New York NYU scientists largest US study of COVID-19 finds obesity The single biggest chronic factor in New York City's hospitalizations That's the single biggest chronic factor in New York City's hospital be a fat It's gonna kill you now. So anybody tells you love your body. Love yourself. They try to kill you That that should be manslaughter. All these chicks are on Instagram and Twitter talking about I'm big and I'm Beautiful you big and you dead. That's what you big and rude you. It's a bad. It's a balancing act though, right? You want brothers and sisters to lose weight, right? Yeah, you got this elephant on a tightrope. So you got to walk Balance right so you got this elephant on the tightrope because you want them to lose weight But you don't want to ruin their self-esteem, right? You don't want to fuck them up mentally You don't want to fuck them up emotionally. You want them to still be mentally healthy and emotionally healthy But it's it's a fine line of being able to Tell them that they need to lose weight but also keeping their self-esteem up And I think the way to do it is through the yo, I love you and I want you to be here You're going to die. You don't look bad. You don't look bad But you're going to die. Yo, you look bad and you're gonna die Okay, you're gonna look horrible when you dead I am not carrying your casket. It's gonna take eight ball bearers. You don't have a friend Yeah, and especially right now if you die right now, okay, you can only have 10 people at your funeral Who's gonna carry your fucking casket? Yo, we're gonna have to cremate you yo We're gonna have to cremate you if we're gonna get you to the wedding. We're not carrying that fucking thing Fuck the cremation. We got the barbecue I'm talking about the food shortage I might have to turn in the cannibals soon. God damn it. Don't let all this good carcass go to waste Fuck a funeral we're gonna have a luau Son that shit was killing me bro because this what happens when it when it gets real you see what's going on When everybody's doing okay, you could make this stupid bullshit up like we're big and beautiful or whatever this kind of shit But when shit hits the fan When life hits you fast the reality comes out start being healthy because here's a listen words matter Say what I think words matter. I think you can be big and beautiful, but can you be big and healthy as the question? You could be big and beautiful healthy Yeah, it's pretty big big beautiful women. Let's just let's define big and beautiful First of all, let's define big and beautiful. Okay here. Let's just define it what we're talking about. I'm not talking about a little fat That's not what I'm talking about. I'm not talking about some is a little bit over with that's how we're talking about We're talking about people who are fucking obese There's a big difference here when there are people who are obese. That's what we're talking about Everybody's got a little fat on that was like what are you gonna have a six pack your entire life? It's unrealistic. It's stupid matter of fact, you mean so you mean somewhere between like Like Lizzo's big and beautiful to me. So somebody like so you mean Lizzo's a good number we could start at Lizzo So Lizzo in between Lizzo and my 600 pound life your 600 pound life is in there somewhere. Yes. Yeah Yes, 100% Yeah, it's just bad. It's unhealthy. That's what I'm saying. You have the you have the ability to do whatever you want with your life You have the ability to do it ever you want with your life. I'm not gonna tell you not to be fat That's up to you. What I will do is push back against anybody that enables that Right because if drug dealers are bad because they enable drug use then Body positivity people are bad because they enable your death via eating. I Know I think we got to be careful with the wording shows because I understand exactly what you're saying Yeah, but there's nothing wrong with body Positivity because you're just telling people to love their body, but You want people to lose weight you could you shouldn't love all your body though If sometimes you have too much body to love You can't properly love your body if you weigh 400 something pounds and you're going to the hospital and the doctor is telling you like yo, you're unhealthy That was nothing. There's nothing to you don't love your body when you're doing that to your body I'm saying so you go be healthy healthy. That's what I was wait by the way Don't don't wait until your doctor tells us what We're telling you now The doctor people do they wait Doctor tells me about to die and then they want to change some shit. Yeah, we're just getting ahead of it That's trying to flatten the curve that is your stomach Okay We're just trying to flatten your curves. That's what we want you to social distance away from the fucking refrigerator That's it. Is that too fucking hard? We don't have a vaccine for your fat yet So what we need you to do caloric distancing that's it caloric distancing, baby Come on we we trying to help you now is a terrible time to die. I'm telling you Saw it. It's only 10 people will allow that funerals. That's right Wait, you wait 300 400 pounds. It's gonna take at least at least six people to carry your casket. It's a lot, dude That's a lot. We're gonna have to slide that downhill What a fucking idiot that can seek to man, who is that that can seek oh with their party. Yeah I didn't like that. What was his answer? He basically said like he only had like nine people Right, that's too much. Well, the rule. I think it's 10. That's too much. Nah Tens too much. I'll give you some pushback. I think we got to stop it with all this talk to me. I'm done No, I'm done. We gotta hang out now. Yo I don't hang out. We gotta go outside. I'm done. I'm done with all this stay inside shit fam No, I'm done I'm done if you're you old you stay inside everybody else. We out Can we do a deep dive on how? Vengeful corona is talk to me You talking about credit Don't nobody want they credit like that bitch named rona. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to call you a bitch I apologize Every single person I've seen question rona rona has shown them There's this bishop. I Forgot what a bishop from I think it's Virginia. Oh, yeah Bishop was like look God can protect you from the corona. God is bigger than corona. He died of corona You know I'm saying after having services, you know, I'm saying yeah, would he go bear you thought jazz? ha ha ha touching everything He got that corona. Yeah, rona gonna make y'all believe brah brah. Oh, I believe in it I'm I don't think it doesn't exist. I'm not saying that I'm just saying I've had enough Well, she hasn't we're going outside bro. We're gonna go outside. We're gonna hang out outside We're gonna come in smooth. No, we it's I have a feeling It's taking too long and we need to get back to it now. I'm not saying that we should um Play pick up basketball games Okay, but you should be able to take a walk go take a walk with your girlfriend hang out in a park These things should be okay. I mean, I think america They did great social distancing clearly work. You look in new york city You know last week they said the curve was starting to flatten They didn't know if it was just a blip while it was a real plateau But now this week uh cormoran saying he thinks the worst is behind us That shows social distancing fucking works, you know, I stopped that now That's true or what it shows is politicians have self-interest in this thing as well So what they do is they exaggerate how bad it's going to be So that when it doesn't end up being that bad they get to say Well, you know what I did That protected us all from corona with my policies to Minimalize uh contact and and increase social distancing so most people didn't die So you don't think corona was ever as bad as they was making it out to be? No, I'm not saying that I think corona is something dangerous, but I'm saying they have A personal interest in making it seem even worse so that when it isn't They can look like they save the day I think you have to scare the fuck out of people just to make people Do what it is you want them to do to begin with yeah, I can't be nice to you and tell you Hey, man, I really need you to stay home flatten this curve called corona I gotta tell you that look if you don't fucking stay in this fucking house You're gonna fucking die your kids are gonna die your grandma's gonna die Yo, they really play they pull it our heartstrings because think about it the first people they told look at your phone Who's on your phone right now my dad? How old is your dad? 77 or something exactly so when they put that in your head that something could happen to him You're gonna do the right fucking thing Exactly 100 and my dad that's what they did my dad should stay his ass home Would you out there? I'm out here, baby, but you can't be out there and go bear on your father I go when I say hi to my folks we stay six feet away We literally take walks together six feet away We don't hug it's the hardest thing to be like next to your fucking parents And you can't even say hello and like hug them give them a kiss or any of that kind of shit But that's what we do they wear gloves on that shit. I know I'm a fucking maniac because I I feel so good. I've been feeling so good the past few weeks I'm talking about like I've been laying in the bed and that shit feel like I'm on extras Why what do you mean? Because I have had a sense of calm The past few weeks that uh, I haven't felt in a while and it's good for me because It really lets me know what the source of my anxiety is the source of my anxiety comes from two things other people In stressing about my family like I have parental paranoia in a real way I wrote about it and you know shook ones and I got a whole chapter about parental paranoia But it's true like when you're worried about your kids being at school You're worried about you know your wife out and about throughout the day You know having to pick the kids up and things of that nature like those are the things that really caused me to get Anxiety those are the things that caused me to have palpitation. You'd be sitting around thinking about school shooting Your kids getting into it with some kid at school all types of shit Just go through your head when you got to deal with that the past few weeks I know what everybody at The kids is right here in the house. Nobody got to go no fucking place. I haven't I've been sleeping great Okay, we are just I this is great for me. I know it sucks for everybody else I know everybody in my else in my house Absolutely hates it. I know my daughter wants to be at school. I know she wants to go to cheerleading practice for me I haven't felt a lick when I chose when I tell you a lick of anxiety I haven't felt a piece of anxiety the past four weeks. So maybe that's what you gotta do man Stay home home school to kids I'm a homebody. I'm a cancer. So yeah, there is something to that Absolutely is something to that but I mean also, you know leaning into the uncertainty of the whole situation, right because This shit is out of our control shows Yeah, it's out of our control. It is There's nothing we can do. Yeah, we can we can just start going out again But then the fucking shit will probably flare back up. Just don't be around people Impossible you live in new york It I can be not around people first of all known to new york You see how few people really live in Manhattan like when this happens because I'm in Manhattan I'm born and raised in Manhattan. Nobody's in Manhattan. You don't see nobody on the street and they're not all inside It's that all the people from Manhattan Went back to their parents house or went to their house on the fucking island or went to their beach house somewhere All these rich people they're like, oh, yeah, we're new york because we got this shit They fucking got out of the city as soon as they possibly could I'm not talking about the boroughs Brooklyn queens Bronx, etc. Those people live there, but all these people that like claim new york so hard They got the fuck out of new york city as quick as they could man and soon as you open this shit back up That shit is gonna flood again And and what if we socially distance? Do we have to work yo? You say what I don't understand why why they keep talking about like does it work or does it not work? Nothing that they say makes any fucking sense, bro. This shit is driving me crazy Do you hear what they were saying where they were like the Fauci was like, we're not gonna be able to shake hands again You saw that Yeah, well, I think he said until like 2022 or some shit like that son, son What do you want us to do? You want us to bow? Did that work for the fucking chinese? Do you forget where this shit came from? Shaking hands is not the thing that's gonna spread the virus Yeah, you know a doctor told me this morning. I can't remember the doctor's name We had him on breakfast club. He said not to wear gloves He said gloves are the worst. He said not he said him She said them rubber gloves the virus sticks to that shit like glue So he said just he said just wash your hands and use perell Here's the thing about the rubber gloves This is the reason I use the rubber gloves because if I'm wearing gloves I won't touch my face if I'm not wearing gloves. I'm touching my face non-stop. So all I do is touch my fucking face I'm biting my fingernails. I'm doing all that shit So the gloves are just about me not putting my hands that have probably touched something on my face Well, I hope all of y'all know that uh, this is the new normal Once this shit does open back up It's going to be mask and fucking gloves all day every day Hand sanitizer is going to be like the new breath mints. You know what I'm saying? You're going to have to have them shit on your niggas Motherfuckers going to have hand sanitizer Motherfuckers going to treat bottles of hand sanitizer like they treat their phones Really? Who the fuck is my hand sanitizer? I'm telling you like that shit that hand sanitizer is going to be like the new fucking smartphone And people going to have to wear masks everywhere they go. This is the new Fucking normal once shit opens back up, baby I got a positively brilliant, bro Talk to me Bill Maher Bill Maher put out a piece about uh Oh, I saw that The the calling it the chinese yeah, I saw that or whatever like that It was absolutely brilliant about you know people in america Of course, you still offended even during a fucking global pandemic You find a way to be offended by absolutely nothing And they think that calling it a chinese virus is somewhat offensive or racist And he basically goes through every virus that we've ever had And shows how you just name them after the places where they were found Lime disease is from west lime Connecticut Zika's from the zika river in the conga region ebolas from the ebola whatever like that spanish flu What is it called mer's middle eastern respiratory? Sickness like he literally calls out every single one a wise name that way and stop finding a way to be fucking Pussies about absolutely everything, you know charlamagne the god lennard mckelvey Said that on this fucking podcast like six weeks ago son. We were saying it. We've been saying I said i've been saying it on breakfast clubs for six fucking weeks and I use three examples. I use the bola uh zika and um Uh west nile yes, because those are all places in africa and I mean no disrespect to the to the asians But even if it is called chinese flu um I don't understand why it gets called racist when when when it's chinese flu But when it comes to diseases from africa nobody says anything And that's why I gotta hurry up and get my fucking talk show Son, you gotta do it man. I'm just boils down to I watched that bill martin I was like I watched that bill martin. I said I had that thought six weeks ago I like I expressed that on the radio and on the podcast six weeks ago That's listen platforms matter bro And he also did it in a beautiful concise way and he had all the great arguments backing it up And I just don't understand. It's like why are people getting so upset? Like do you think gay people back in the day in the 80s would be upset if they called aids gay flu? Yes What the fuck you talking about they were Absolutely Nah, but when it was just not only would they be they were but when it was just targeting them You don't think you could be like me a don't get sneezed on you could get some gay flu They hated when they used to when people used to refer to age. I mean age is a gay disease. They still hate it now But back in the day that shit was predominantly gay flu I don't know if that's true or not Well, it used to be the wuhan it used to be the chinese flu and then to spread around the world Same thing with aids. I think it was predominantly gay flu and then it became everybody's flu Nah Gay flu is horrible because and also gay flu is show is saying that only gay people can get it No, it's not it's saying that's where it started But it didn't start with gay people. That's where that's where that's where it got poppin Maybe there's That's where it got poppin like I don't think jamaicans were the first people have dreadlocks But that's where it got poppin But you don't call it goddamn jamaican locks Some people might you know call it a jamaican perm not be dreadlock You don't say I want a jamaican perm Dude that could work if someone said that I would believe it No, but I give me some jamaican locks. I would know what they are I totally get it when it hiv age is actually a great example because uh You know if you was to call it something like gay flu It's actually not only putting a stigma on on gay people But it's also putting a negative narrative on what hiv age is because That's a myth that you and only gay people We're just saying like where it started from like that's why I don't I don't know if it started there You have to good you have to prove this one. Well, look here's the thing spanish flu, you know the spanish flu The spanish flu epidemic I think happened like 1917 Apparently that didn't start in spain. It probably started from in the wet markets in china But all the other countries just blame it everything on china sun. It did listen start fucking closing the web markets It's not that hard just shut it down. You shouldn't be able to sell a pterodactyl on the street And that's what they're fucking doing They'll sell anything on the street there and if that's what's causing the viruses what? I'm not gonna sit here and tell me you wouldn't try pterodactyl wings Bro, I'm not saying I want to try it but find a better way to sell it be that's just tasty pterodactyl wings He'd like a flint stuff. Let me put some lemon pepper on them shit. Let's go now. What are the best terms you've heard for the coronavirus? Uh, I like the rona What about what about He's just made that one I have that one I have not Holy shit Hey, me and me I need it. I need an asian referee chris Chris jump in here real quick chris chris No, no, thank you. Let me ask you a question. Is that offensive chris? Yes. Goodbye Holy shit, that's a What about kung flu? I heard that that's a I heard that one. Okay. What about, um chopstick That one I have not heard That one I have not heard jesus christ. What about the wuhanic plague? I haven't heard that one That's not a bad one though. Wuhanic is good. It's from wuhanic. Yeah, that's not a bad Like wuhanic plague is not a bad one if you're putting it in the terms of like west nile virus zika Lime lime disease lime disease Spanish flu wuhanic plague is not a bad one. That's it Yeah, so now are you are you finished offending all of our asian? Listeners, I think I don't know. Okay. All right, do me listen. They could take a joke, right? If we could take a whole virus, I don't think so dude if we could take the whole virus I don't think so. I don't think they could take a joke. I don't I don't I don't People are gonna find a way to get offended during this shit It's that is another thing that like cracks me up that people are finding ways to be woke even during a global pandemic Dude, like do you literally have nothing else to do at your time? You don't realize what's really going on over here? um I don't I don't listen. I don't know how of how fake offended People are at a time like this because this is a very stressful time Like you know, I got homeboys and homegirls whose anxiety is really killing them You know I'm saying I'm getting phone calls crazy where people are really depressed and you know a lot of people actually trying to Try therapy for the first time now because they're sitting at home and they're alone with their thoughts and this shit is really driving them crazy I think I read two stories this week about two two young women. I think one was 19 One was 15. They both killed themselves Just based on the fear That is being mongered behind the coronavirus. You know what I'm saying? So I mean you you a lot of people who they'll trick themselves into jumping off a cliff at a time like this Because you got to think about it, right? Like you can really convince yourself This is the end of the world if you want to you can really read the book of revelations and convince yourself like Armageddon is coming and this is it and you may not Want to be around to see that shit? Hey, bro We're back What's back we're back another month. We're back americans are tired of this shit. I already feel it I can't I can't speak for europeans, but I can speak for americans We're getting tired of this shit and we're ready to get back to fucking business We want to leave the house. Do we have to go back to work? No, we'll work from home That's fine. But do we want to be able to go out enjoy the park? Enjoy the beach. Enjoy fucking things. Yes. Slowly want to do it slowly shots slowly Peel it back treat it like an uncircumcised penis peel it back like don't just Freakin you just peel it back a little bit Peel it back Make sure the skin is all the way down to the bottom of your fucking dick before you just Put it in bro like My feeling is if you if you're telling us the truth about social distancing Then we should be able to do that and everything and everything's fine If you're not telling us the truth about social distancing then that's a different discussion But I gotta take your word as the government and as scientists I have to take your word and if it's six feet we could work with that You gotta give them time to figure this shit out And I think what we're doing as we're going along every day is learning new shit about the virus But how much time they need bro? It's like everybody you told they told us I think in that press conference that they were going to have 25 million Americans tested in Parking lots of walmarts all around the country so far they've done two million. I think that's your president. That's your president's fault That's walmart What do you mean? I listen. I don't know what it is. I but Listen, I'll be honest. I've been the most critical of trump During this whole shit. I think he bottled this whole shit. He did this pathetically, right? But also ilan must said he was gonna have all these ventilators and apparently the mayor of uh The mayor of la was like now. We ain't got no ventilators from him We don't know what's going on So everybody's talking his big game and all of a sudden we don't have some shit and low-key I think the reason why we're not getting tested for it is because People don't want the more people get tested the more people have it and the more people in your country have it The worse your country looks When there's not enough tests, I think that's on purpose Because here's the if your country is the one that has the most tests Your country looks the least capable of handling a pandemic. I think russia They says seven people died in the whole country from it And that's just because they tested motherfuckers out there and if they do come out the positive tests I think they made it illegal to announce that they had it So this is a whole pr game going on outside of just people's health I would rather be the country that shows The rest of the world how to handle a pandemic correctly So I think that they should do widespread testing because let's be clear the faster they do widespread testing the faster we can You know Get back into society You know, even though we're going to be doing a lot of social distancing once we get back out there And everybody's going to have on masks and gloves looking like michael jackson But once you start getting widespread testing out there motherfucking until there's a vaccine, you know, that's that's that's actually what I think, um Will make people feel comfortable, you know, I mean and then once you once you do widespread testing Then they have that uh what they do a containment tracing I think they call it so where you can am I am I saying is that correct chris? Can you chime in on this? You won't reveal I promise you want him to chime Is the containment tracing I think is called Yeah, I mean the the lack of testing to me is the a number one biggest issue right now because If you can't test people I mean it's elementary You don't know who has it and everyone can pour back into the streets in a month or six weeks or whatever it is But it's just going to go back to zero a couple weeks after that so I I honestly don't understand why we don't have the testing because it seems everybody would want that I can't you know imagine a scenario where Somebody wouldn't want that outside of what Andrew said, which is you just don't want to confront it Yeah, and and and the thing about containment tracing is you know who has it You know where the problem areas are and you're able to Contain it a little bit better by the way ain't no nba until they get that shit when they do that when the nba comes back That's exactly what the fuck they're going to be doing They're going to be testing people. They're going to be quarantining them after games. They'll probably keep them in one area They'll probably play in like One location. I'm I'm here in Vegas. They'll play in Vegas for the rest of the season They'll they'll stay in I guess different hotels And they're going to test like every I don't know a couple of weeks Who the fuck knows and they got those other things where they can check your temperature Make sure you don't got no fever I guess different ways to put us back out in the streets and contain it at the same time So it's okay if they do that but we can't go to the park Fuck out of here, bro. I can't believe we even buying this shit. It makes no sense Listen, you feel you feel more comfortable uh going to the park if you knew that the area you lived in um There weren't a lot of cases of coronavirus there I wouldn't care if there's a reason you would know that is because people have been tested I'm not gonna be great if people are tested. Don't get me wrong. I'm supportive of testing I want as much testing as possible. I'm also saying you should be able to go to the park You should be able to go to a beach You should be able to do these things like They're these absurd rules about quarantining that make absolutely no sense They just make no sense the play like we can go to a weed shop, but we can't go to the park weed is essential 420 is right around the corner In fact, I need somebody to do me a little drop off somewhere in jersey. I need some edibles for 420 Let's do a little drop off. No hand in hand I'm gonna leave the money somewhere and you leave the drug somewhere. We're gonna do this old school, baby I need some I need some edibles for 420. 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You get it foe free That's right blue chew the better cheaper faster choice. We thank you for sponsoring the brilliant brilliant idiots blue chew and Listeners we thank you for supporting the brilliant idiots with it. I'm telling you it is the truth But be careful out there. Okay You're gonna have something hard You don't want to hurt someone with it. Okay, so be careful with it. You got a weapon You got an active weapon. Make sure you use it accordingly. Let's get back to the show Got any church announcements? Um Uh besides uh rescheduling shows, you know rescheduling the special rescheduling a bunch of other shows I'm putting it out there So once I have all those out, we're gonna update them and I'm hoping that we'll be able to get back to work this summer, man Um the special I'm rescheduling for fall. So hopefully by November everything will be good, but You don't think so Right, he said that they didn't not having concerts until 2021 the fall of 2021. They said that like la I don't know if I exactly buy that. I really don't think it I think the second they let people go out People are going to go back out and the people that are out risk are not going to go back out And I think that's kind of how it should be Yeah, but you can't take the risk of having large crowds Together quite yet. Why not nobody nobody's gonna take that risk not yet Not yet, but I think in the next few months you're gonna see I think people are fed up, man Or they're starting to get fed up in the next couple of weeks You're gonna see a lot of rebellion and you're gonna see a lot of people like yo, I'm not saying this side Yeah, you're fucking mine I think because because if you're if you're a promoter, right you can't book a um A comedy act that can fucking bring a thousand people two thousand people three thousand people two in arena Because you can't social distance that shit, you know, and if you do Let's say you got a three thousand cedar They're only going to say okay. Well, you can sell a thousand tickets So that's that I don't like and I think that will suck and I think that'll ruin a lot of comedy shows You could do music like that but comedy people need to be together man They need to be close so it's like I want them to be close and I want them To be safe obviously fuck check check temperature do all that kind of stuff But I think what's going to happen is in the next couple months people are going to realize look I had it. I'm good. I haven't had it, but I'm willing to Go out there and take the risk or if I'm an at-risk person, I'm not going to take that risk I'm staying home and I'm doing that and and I think that actually life will go back to somewhat Somewhat normal because but that's that's my opinion. That's that's wishful thinking. Yeah Um, and I understand why you feel that way because you're a stand-up 100 I'm telling you Telling you shows. Yeah Money's done till about fall 2021 You better lean into the audio game lean into the podcast game. I'm lean Maybe we get a fucking we get a coffee table book or something. I don't know. I got I got some things coming that uh We'll be all right. Let's cook I got I got some things coming that will be a okay. All right. Well, that's good Yeah, just stand up shit that shit. That's why I tell all my musical friends You but listen you about to see some rappers. Yeah, you about to see some of your favorite gangster rappers Sponsoring fashion over in ways you've never seen really a lot of cameo Oh my god, you about to see some of your favorite gangster rappers showing off them flat tummy t abs, baby Really? All right. Who goes rough? Who goes for isn't there's no Conson they said that they said at the minimum concerts will be back fall 2021 now That's not true. Dr. They the one mayor in la presumed that that wasn't like a fact by the cdc or anything like that Dr. Fauci said that too say that Fauci said Dr. Fauci said fall of 2021 before we can start gathering in large crowds Now you have some doctors who are saying they're fast-tracking a vaccine Right, I think it's like 70 different trials going on right now with 70 different vaccines If they get a vaccine, I think I even saw one doctor say they might even have an emergency vaccine by the fall If something like that happens Back in business, baby. Once the vaccine is there, you'll start seeing the concerts and shit come back and tell it in Bruh, I'm telling you fashion Nova is going to be getting some of your favorite celebrities for the low Watch Watch fashion Nova used to be giving people equity and shit. No. No those days are over, baby $500 post it. That's it five. Are you five you want this 500? You want this thousand? I'm serious that you you go see a lot of celebrities with only fans pages That's the next wave Right, you go see a lot of celebrities with only fans pages It's going to be it's about to be really you about to really see who been saving their motherfucking money and who been playing Who do you think is first? Who do you think is first? Who do you think is first? I'm already seeing some people who I'm not gonna say come on now No, I'm not gonna say but I'm already seeing some people man. I'm already seeing some people and I'm slightly disappointed Who I'm not gonna say I'm not do I know him Yeah, you know you probably know him if you pay attention You definitely know him and listen and by the way I'm not even gonna say that they're doing it because of these reasons because they probably were always doing it I just never noticed You know what I'm saying and it's and and when you think about it if you're a comedian Are a celebrity When you're when you're on your page you're promoting shit that you're doing so you might promote your show Or you might promote your comedy show So once you slip in that flat tummy tea ad you don't notice But shipping dry to pass few weeks ain't no fucking show. So now them flat tummy tea ads is just like They're a little bit more noticeable now, you know what I'm saying so yeah I'm it's gonna be bad the next few few weeks man And I want to say I got a lot of people That I know that are telling me they receive these stimulus checks And I'm confused about that because in order to get that check You need to be making in 2018 less than 70,000 or something like that 80,000 Yep Yep So It's a little weird, bro. So has there been some capping On the internet if you I would definitely I would definitely call that capping That is definitely capping. But yo, god bless him. You know, I'm not knock. I'm not knocking you I'm just saying I'm like, I don't I'm just really wondering how the fuck you get a stimulus check That's all Because like you said in order to get a stimulus check you got to make what under 90,000 a year something like that something yeah You thought people were doing better than what they were I'm not here to judge. I'm just happy to know I'm blessed. Thank you god losses now Let's get into some shit. You're not gonna care about next week. Oh now charlotte may alex brought up an interesting point What if you had your own business and you kind of manipulated the business to make it look like it wasn't profitable So you didn't make any money yourself but um You made money through the business so you as an employee maybe didn't get paid out by the business But you paid everything in your life through the baby. Maybe maybe I mean, listen I would I'm not gonna say a lot of you and act like um, you know, I wouldn't apply for ppp Right, you know I'm saying because I have small businesses. Yeah, you know I'm saying and I don't want to fire my employees I don't have a lot of employees But you know, I want to be I want my employees to be taken care of I think that if there's any type of resources like that available from the government Take advantage of them and don't let nobody shame you for it. Like those are by the way, those are our taxpayer dollars Motherfuckers like all they're doing is giving us back what we give the fucking FICA whoever that is I thought it was a fucking soccer league for years But it's not, you know, I'm saying so it's just like yeah, I read it I read something that said American citizens paid 1.7 trillion dollars in taxes in 2018 Where the fuck is this money going? Wow That right there you could take care of you could take care of motherfuckers annually with that kind of money You could do universal basic income and all kind of shit with that kind of money There's no reason for a fucking public school anywhere to be fucked up when you got a country generating 1.7 million dollars in taxes from its citizens Everybody should have access to some type of Affordable health care even freed health care if you're making that kind of money annually from taxes Yeah, where the fuck is the 1.7 trillion going a lot of ways went to the fucking military No, it's not just military. A lot of that's to go pay off debt Who's dead? So the way that the government creates money is it sells bonds or these treasury bills And the the way a treasury bill or a bond functions is you buy it for a hundred dollars Then the government says to you I'll pay you back a hundred ten dollars at a later date Yeah, yeah. Yeah, so So that how is it going to pay it back? The government is going to generate revenue through taxation and then pay the money back I look I'm no financial advisor. I can't be neither explain how this shit works But I do know when I know what you're talking about though. Yeah, it's like shit goes up over time prices are low get in I mean, that's what I mean if you want to look at like Now I'm like looking all these I'm just bored So I'm looking all these conspiracy theories and that kind of shit But it's like when you look at like throughout time how The people who run the banking establishments around the world have made money They've taken advantage of times like this like there's been economic depressions They've called sometimes the bankers have leaned into the depressions where they've called in the money So there's not a lot of liquidity in the market and then you can't take out a loan to pay your bills So what you have to do you have to let the gov the bank sees your property Right, so the bank's like now i'm not going to give you a loan so you could pay for shit But you need to pay back your loan and then you're like well all I got is my farm and they're like all right We'll take that but we'll take it for pennies on a dollar And that's how they get richer man is bro. This is this whole The more I research this shit the whole banking game is so crazy bro. Do you know what fractional reserve Banking is No, but I have a financial advisor who does you know, this is the most genius shit ever This is how money works. I never realized this right A bank only needs to have 10 percent of the total value In the actual bank and physical money So let's say charlie made a gov, right? You give that bank a million dollars, right? That bank only needs to keep a hundred thousand dollars of your money in the bank It could take the other nine hundred thousand dollars that you gave them and lend it out to other people Yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely, right, but what's genius about this is that You have one million right? It lends out nine hundred thousand Right that nine hundred thousand goes out into the world Right, let's say somebody took that nine hundred thousand Right that you lent it to them and they don't want to buy and they and uh, and they buy a house From somebody for nine hundred thousand right Right So That person They got paid nine hundred thousand dollars for the house. Let's say they take That money and they put it back in the same bank where you are right? Now the bank has another nine hundred thousand that they can lend 90 percent of Yeah, that's why your financial advisor will tell you but wait wait wait wait wait wait There's now in that bank one point nine million dollars But there isn't there's only the one million that you gave them they just made up another nine hundred thousand I don't know That's how it works It's crazy think about it, right You you put a million in the bank, right? Yeah, the bank lends out nine hundred thousand dollars To to chris morrow chris morrow buys my house for nine hundred thousand dollars. I have nine hundred thousand I put it back in the bank that bank can lend out eight hundred nine eight hundred and ten thousand dollars now It just I know I know it's something like that That's why your financial advisor will tell you they just like if you just got money sitting in the bank That you all you're doing is helping other all you're doing is helping other people get long Of course, but what I'm saying is this is how money just gets invented out of nowhere out of thin air You're just inventing money because we allow people to lend money that they don't have And if you can lend money that you don't technically have then that's free money that comes out of nowhere But don't technically they have it though. This is what this is how it all start They don't technically have it because they only have to keep one hundred thousands one hundred thousand of your money in So now that nine hundred thousand is just going anywhere it wants and if somebody else wants to take that nine hundred thousand Put it back in the bank. They only got to keep ninety thousand of it in the bank Listen, uh, I'm not sure if that's how that works, but I can't say show just wrong. This is how it started This is how it started, right? Maybe this will be like the apps the idiot section or whatever But like this how it started so back in the day, you know how shit used to be in gold Right. Yes, so what happens is the goldsmiths would take the gold that you give them melt it down Put it in bars and then you didn't want to carry around fucking gold bars all day So the goldsmiths would this is in england. They'd write you a note that basically was like, yo Carry this piece of like paper around and it will basically equate to the gold you got right there So if you need to pay for something pay for in the papers, you don't gotta carry the gold, right? The goldsmiths figured out that nobody would ever ask for all their all the all their gold So what they started doing is writing out notes to people Without there being any gold backed For the note, I see what you're saying and then charging interest on that note So they're charging interest on money that ain't even there You know, that's what that's what uh Kadafi was doing. What was he doing? Hold on kadafi. Hold on. I want to read this real quick. I don't want to Miss quote this. I don't want to get too idiot There's someone that's way more financially savvy that can explain fractional reserve banking to me I'm not doing a good job explaining it because Partially because it really isn't explained. It's absolutely absurd. But that's how our economy works Yeah, gadafi was about to challenge monetary imperialism Because he had a bunch of gold, right? Yeah, he had he had a big reserve of gold and I think he was uh He wanted to create a one world For an african currency Yeah, yep He wanted to create a one word A one world currency Hey, bro anybody that's ever challenged currency Any person in power that's challenged currency has been killed or removed from power Can't fuck with the church's money. Hey, bro. Hey, bro. You want to know something? He got nothing to do with the church, but you want to know something? Oh, yeah, that's what it was. Remember the commemorative said that uh, hillary clinton's emails I don't know if this is true But they said revealed that natto killed gadafi to stop the libyan creation of gold back currency Anybody if you go out there and google google gadafi and gold you could do your own research Hey, here's another one you could google. Do you know how our money is green now? Yeah, you know who uh, you it comes from uh, the green back And you know who made the green back to finance the civil war mexican leprechauns no what No, abraham lincoln printed the green back to finance the civil war Because bankers want to charge him 25 to 36 percent on money that he wanted to take out for the war efforts So he printed his own money the green backs. Whatever what happened to abraham lincoln Yeah, shut He did didn't he And he blew his fucking brains out by some actor that really wanted slavery an actor What the fuck is an actor so interested in slavery for do you have slaves so you can what read lines with them? I mean it depends Come on, bro. I mean just because just because you're an actor don't mean that you're not racist No, no, he was racist sure everybody back in the day was racist But i'm saying he's not the one who needs slavery who's willing to shoot and kill for slavery Well, I think you're thinking about actors from this You're thinking financially about what an actor would be making now back then acting probably wasn't shit No, i'm talking about his job like why would his in job and need slaves like if you're an actor We're gonna get you your water, bro We're gonna fucking you have a whole slave to get water, bro. What about when your feet are that you've been on fucking stage all day Say what about when your feet hurt after you've been on stage all day? That's why you have a wife Why wouldn't you want to listen? Let's let's let's let's all jokes aside Some million reasons why an actor would want to sleep. Okay. By the way most personal assistants Are indentured surface Like let's just like come on guys Most personal assistants for actors and actresses are indentured surface And by the way, it's a it's a personal assistant out there right now listening to me Who feels like She's in a relationship with her slave master Our in a relationship with his slave master, right? Okay, we've heard the horror stories of these different actors and actresses who make you get them a bowler Red m&m's and throw shit at you when you ain't doing shit right and on Yo slavery I learned some form of indentured servitude. I learned why the uh the actors do the m&m shit why It's to make sure That the people at the venues are reading their writer They don't really care about the color of the m&m's smart But if you put some weird shit in there, then you know, they got all the other shit, right? You know that they're paying attention to detail Exactly So then you don't have to like yeah now you don't have to eat your salad and then has sardines in there You're allergic to sardines. You end up fucking dying. That's fucking smart. It's brilliant. Yeah Um, let's do let's do some asking idiots Let's pay one more bill and then we'll do ask it eats Okay Guys turn your dream into a reality with square space square space makes it easier than ever to launch your passion project Whether you're looking to start a new business showcase your work publish content sell products and more Squarespace is the tool for you with beautiful templates created by world-class designers and the ability to customize just about anything with a few clicks You can easily make a beautiful website yourself Squarespace's powerful e-commerce functionality lets you sell anything online and analytics help you grow your site in real time Everything is optimized for mobile right out of the box and there's nothing to patch or upgrade ever buying domains Simple you'll get the help you need with square space is 24 7 award-winning customer support Now is the time to get your business ready to go for when this pandemic is over Make sure that you have a website without a website. You do not have a real business So do all of your problem solving do all of your creative Do all of your building get your platform ready set to go for free mind you Okay, if you use the uh code idiot, so you go to squarespace.com slash idiot You get a free trial and then when you're ready to launch it use the offer code idiot to get 10% off your purchase of a website Or domain at squarespace.com slash idiot offer code idiot Now all right, let's do some um Ask a fucking idiot Taylor. Did you send me asking idiot? Yeah, I just scroll all the way down You gotta scroll all the way down. Taylor over there lonely and sad bro. Taylor. She really is sad man. Taylor. What's wrong? I thought she had a boyfriend broke up with her. First of all, we're still together. Okay. What else? And then just depressed about the economy. It's just sad. All right For angelo five car phone. That's angelo You got a good question for asking idiot. What is it? Are you gonna still uh keep me employed? Is that the question? Damn, that is a good question I haven't used them I don't know if you still have a job angelo. We'll see once this is all local. I don't know Um, no angelo did do a dope video He made a dope video because you know, he's he's been around me so much that you know He always has like b-roll of shit. Yeah, he just has this whole fucking Plethora of me just shaking everybody's hands Because you know i'm the type person that walks in the room and shakes everybody's hands speaks to everybody But he just put this whole video together of me just shaking everybody's hand and i'm sitting there looking like I don't know if I ever be able to do that again. Yo Seriously, you will I can't wait to to be honest. I can't wait either. I'm gonna be honest with you I'm one of that motherfuckers up. Let's go. Let's get back to it. Fuck. We doing Ask an idiot angelo says which basketball player today Would have the same public shock reaction as magic johnson if they announced they had hiv Um, I don't know. I don't think it's shocking anymore. I think the shock for magic johnson was everybody thought it was a gay flu And then they're like how did you get the gay flu if you're not gay? No, that is true. I remember when that happened everybody immediately went to The body immediately went to magic's gay and they started talking about when he used to kiss Isaiah on the lips. Yeah. You know, I was even watching straight out of Compton the other day and like even when easy ease character, when Jason Mitchell who played, I say easy ease character, when Jason Mitchell who played easy, you know, when they told him he had HIV, that's the first thing came out his mouth. It's like, I ain't gay. I'm gay. Yeah. So, I mean, that was, that was a thing during that era. You know what I mean? So, I don't think it would be a surprise. I really don't think. The only way it would be a shock is if it was like a player who was a superstar who was married, you know what I'm saying, because then everybody would be like, how the fuck did he get? You know what I mean? But you always assume they cheat on their wives. So, it's like nothing, nothing is that shocking. Maybe raw dogging is a little crazy. Maybe Steph Curry would be the most shocking if he had it, but then again, he's in San Francisco. He's the closest to Wuhan of AIDS. Jesus Christ. Um, Megan Stolson asking the idiot, what's the one thing you missed doing before Corona that you won't be doing after Corona? Oh, um, hmm, it's a good question. I don't know. I don't know. I plan on doing absolutely everything after Corona that I did before. Absolutely everything. And shakes, meet and greets after the show. All that. Yes, let's go. I was thinking about meetings. Um, don't get me wrong. I still love having meetings. I still love, you know, pulling up in somebody's conference room and chopping the shit. But I do miss it. Like you know, you miss having to travel to L.A., you know, to go have these great meetings or whatever, whatever. But, um, I don't know if I ever have to do that ever again because of the Zoom shit. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. The reason, because I'm the type of, I'm the type that would get on a plane and fly to L.A. for a meeting and then fly right back. Fly, go to L.A. for an hour meeting and fly right back. I don't know if I ever have to do that ever again because of the Zoom shit. Yeah. I mean, the fact that you would fly to L.A. for a meeting is kind of crazy. Just a meeting, nothing else? You weren't like filming something? No. I mean, I do that too. But sometimes I go just for a meeting, like, you know, especially depending on who the meeting is with. That's it. And a lot of times those have become like some of my biggest opportunities. You know what I mean? Like I've been planting a lot of seeds over the years that people will see the fruit from, um, you know, over the next year or so. You know what I'm saying? So it's just like, yeah, like you take those, you take those meetings and they're stressful in there, hard to do and it wears and tears on you. But it's absolutely worth it. I just don't know if I would ever have to do that again. So I'm, this is a good question because it's something that I miss, you know, but I don't know if I would necessarily do it after Corona because I don't see the need other than to fill the energy of the room. That's about it. Yeah. You really need energy. It is nice. But I hear you. I hear what you're saying. It's a long trip to go just for a meeting, but you're probably meeting people that you want to meet in person. So it's different, you know? Oh, this is another good asking that he had a lycra, like lycra hoist that how did Charlemagne get his girl back back in the day when he used to be cheating? I'm going through it. That's a very good question. But you can't compare your situation to mine because me and my now wife, we were together very young. You know what I'm saying? We were together as kids since high school. So we grew together. We evolved together. You know, we didn't really know how to be in relationships with each other. And then, you know, she went off to college to get about it. You know what I'm saying? She's still going to live her life in college. I wasn't in school. I wasn't there every day. You're going to go through these different experiences. You're going to go through their whole phase at different times. So I'm not necessarily the best example. But I do say, you know, since I am a man who's cheated when he was married, I just think that the best apology is changed behavior. And I think the same way your girl has a sixth sense and she knows when you are cheating. She also knows when you're not cheating. You know what I'm saying? So I just think the best apology is changed behavior, man. That's it. Simple as that. That makes sense, man. Yeah. That's cool that she's passed it. I mean, or is she passed it? Is she forgiving you? Have you guys done something like that? I think so only because I'm clean. Bro, I'm four years clean. Yeah. I ain't cheated since October of 2016. Matter of fact, I'll be four years this year. I get a fucking coin this year. Yeah. Four years. How bad was that last piece of pussy, bro? It wasn't bad at all. It has nothing to do with it being bad. You know what I'm saying? But is it worth ruining my fucking marriage? It was. By the way, you know what's so crazy, man? Once when like that's why everybody needs to read Way to Superior, man. It's a great book. And you know, it talks about a sacred masculine and divine feminine. It's a book that Lauren London recommended to Dipsy Hussle and Lauren also recommended it to me as well. And me and Dipsy actually had a discussion about it on his last interview with the Breakfast Love. And you know, it just talks about how, you know, you got to balance that sacred masculine and divine feminine in you. But more importantly, it talks about when you commit yourself to one person, you commit yourself to one individual and like not doing the cheating and you're really into this person and you know, the love making and just the way y'all connect on our emotional, spiritual, physical level is so intense that it makes you wonder why you were ever sleeping with anybody else. Sounds pretty gay, bro. Huh? Nothing. What you said? Sounds pretty gay, bro. I'm just saying, man. Maybe that's why I gave people maybe that's why the gay sex is so good, bro. Maybe they connected a different way. Maybe they could think about it right based on everything you said, this podcast that was highly offensive to the gay community. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, bro. They they throw me under the bus. I'm just saying they can't jump around from part of the partner. So maybe they really focus so intensely on their significant other that they connect on a different level. They connect emotionally, spiritually. Did you say gay guys don't jump around from partner to partner? I don't know. I can't speak for you. Oh, child, you have so much to learn. It's not, oh, child. It's sis, holy sis. All right, sis, sis, bro. Sis, listen. Dude, there's a thing in gay culture called the glory hole. Have you heard of this where there's just a hole in a door and you stick your dick in and then someone on the other side is like, yes, a dick and they just start sucking it. That's that's how powerful gay sex drive is or maybe male sex drive is when you just love to have a wouldn't you love to have a significant other like that? Wait, what? Wouldn't you love to have a significant? No, it's not your significant others. Just some random dude. But do you want somebody to be that super excited over your penis? I just open the door and then get my dick sucked by my significant other. The fun part about the glory hole, I guess, is you don't know who's sucking it. But think about the person that's sucking it. The person that's sucking it has to really love dick. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Wouldn't you want somebody to love your penis in that way shows? Are you trying to make me gay? What's happening over here, bro? Are you and your soliciting my dick, bro? This is how that flu got passed around, bro. Come on. It's so crazy. Jesus, man. All right, let's do one more. Asking it in a game. Oh, shit. Wow. I don't know if this is true, though. T Money Sig says, how do y'all feel that this kind of natural disaster didn't bring people closer and are we fucked when the aliens come? Well, I mean, it didn't bring people closer because we literally have to distance ourselves from one another. That's part of it. And are we thinking digitally? You don't think it digitally made us closer? I know for a fact, bro. I'm I'm face timing way more than I ever have in my life. I'm zooming way more than I ever have in my life. I'm doing IG live way more than I ever had in my life. You're just bored, bro. You're just bored. You got nothing to do. So you're like, fuck it. Let me distract myself. Everybody's hitting me. Everybody's like, yo, come on my IG live. Everybody got an IG live talk show. Yeah. Like everybody's doing something. Like everybody wants IG live action. They're like, yo, come do this, come do that. Like that's because we're craving live interaction. We want to do something together. Like that's why I wish they had that MMA fight because it was going to be something we could all experience together at the same time that was live. That shit is so valuable, man. We just want to experience something with each other. They got to figure that shit out. That's why Tory Lane's live is popping, bro. It's like, give us a live moment we could all share. Let's go. True. True. You're absolutely right. Anyway, bro. I think that's it, right? I think that's it, man. You'd be good. I think we did it. Should we do a hairline check or not? You want it? I got a lot of hair, bro. Let me see it. Because I saw it when you were lifting the what's it called a little bit? Let me see. Yo. Yo. My hairline ain't that bad. Oh, shit. Officer Winslow. Let me see that hairline, Officer Winslow. Let me see that. It's a Winslow. Let me see it, bro. Hold on. Hold on. Let me see it again. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Get a little sneak peek. I feel like I'm asking for a titty pic. Let me get it. Just show me a little something. No. I want to say thank you for listening. The views of Andrew Schultz are Andrew Schultz's views. Man, will you stop, bro? What type of friend are you, bro? The type of friend that knows when to move out of the way. And I'm telling you to move too. Why are you throwing me under the booty bus, bro? Like, you don't got to do this, bro. You're the booty bus. You really throw me under the booty bus. The funniest in the world. The funniest in the world is the text you get after this podcast when Chris is like, all right, I think y'all should take out from 1256 to 1987 to 1903. OK, all references to China just should be shrubbed. Just shrubbed. Dude, that's right. He works for government, bro. Listen, as always, if you listen to this podcast, you think we're smart. You think we're intelligent. You think we're brilliant. You're absolutely right. But if you listen to this podcast and you think we're just a couple of idiots or shit, you're right, too. It's the bearded podcast. Thank you for listening. Thanks.