 From Hollywood, it's time now for Johnny Daller Ah, how weary, stale, flat and unprofitable seem to me all the uses of this world Ah, who's that? Garrett Reynolds, Johnny Reynolds? And Trenton? That's right, New Jersey State Mutual Life Well, what was the quote from Shakespeare about? Hamlet, wasn't it? The last old whose lightest word would harrow up thy soul Freeze thy young blood, make thy two eyes like stars Hey, hey, now wait a minute, will you? Garrett, have you gone off your rocker? Why don't you come on down here and see? Yeah, I think I'd better In the exciting adventures of the man with the action-packed expense account America's fabulous freelance insurance investigator Yours truly, Johnny Daller Expense account submitted by a special investigator, Johnny Daller To the New Jersey State Mutual Life Insurance Company, Trenton, New Jersey office Following is an account of expenses incurred during my investigation of the heatherstone players matter Expense account item one, $9.80 Trained fare, lunch and incidentals on the trip from Hartford to Trenton, New Jersey Item two, 70 cents, taxi to Garrett Reynolds' office Oh, glad you wasted no time, Johnny, sit down, I'll get right to the point Big rush, huh? If I read the signs right, yes Okay Whom are you expecting to get bumped off this time? Do they hear of the heatherstone players? Sounds like a summer theater or a traveling stock company It's Cyril Peter St. George Heatherstone Cyril? And he's just as bad as he sounds An old Shakespearean actor, a real ham Oh, friends, Romans No, no, no, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't do it It'll be bad enough when he gets here, any minute now What do you mean? Every other sentence, a quote from the immortal bar The time you've listened to him for five minutes, you never want to hear of Shakespeare again Sounds like he might be fun Fun? He's poison And if he gets knocked off, it'll cost the company $10,000 All right, come on, tell me all He keeps traveling around, conducting classes in Shakespeare And putting on occasional performances with the local talent After he gets all the dough from them, that is Whenever he pulls out of a town, he leaves behind a lot of unpaid bills No wonder he keeps traveling around It's no joke He also leaves behind a lot of enemies and a lot of broken hearts He thinks he's Romeo himself or Casanova Anyhow, he's back here in Trenton He's putting on a Shakespearean festival of a radio station WVGR Oh, well, hey now, maybe I could join the cast But soft, what life through yonder window breaks It is the east and Julia is the south Will you cut it out? This is serious So am I But go on, go on There is not one if his cast or crew there at the radio station doesn't hate every bone in his body Except maybe young Joni Carter And who is she? Oh, she's the girl he picked to play Juliet and Ophelia She's promised her a shining career on the stage and stardom and pictures and that sort of thing Well, maybe she's good Oh, don't kid yourself This part of his act is charmer away from Charlie Cumberley And who is he? He's also in the cast He's getting nothing but bit parts Well, I still see no cause for a while Oh, you will, Joni If you ever attend one of those rehearsals Well, look, if they all hate him so, why don't they just walk on out? The old shite has got them tied down to contracts They must have signed them with their eyes closed They're stuck with him, Joni, until the festival is over Or until somebody kills him You think it's that serious? Joni one way or another He has taken everybody he's ever come into contact with Even you? Even me Number of times I've had to go through the operation of changing the beneficiary and his power What is the beneficiary? As of the moment, Joan Carter The actress you mentioned The girl I mentioned The use of the policy is a command To charm the poor, unsuspecting young No, what has he said of us? What has he done that it, in golden letters Should be set among the high ties of the calendar What, the same? King John, my boy, act three, scene one May I, for your plebeian ear, I should have asked this cherished fellow next to you Why, boy, he sent for me this hour Heather Stone This is Joni Doller Oh And here's my hand And mine, sir With my heart in Uncle Good man, that's from the tempest Thank you Oh, well, not to give you a stretch Look, Heather Stone I've asked all of you to act as your bodyguard Until this play of yours is over Play? And you can get out of town Play festival, dear sir In which the immortal Shakespeare's works Beneath my practised hand shall so enchant Wait a minute, Heather Stone Garrett, I'm not gonna serve as any I said bodyguard I've received three anonymous notes Telling me in no uncertain terms That life isn't worth a plug nickel around that studio Threats? Just warnings What matter? To quote the bard I bear a charmed life Have you given those notes to the police? Yeah, but I haven't heard back from them That's why I sent for you in such a hurry How fitting that my end should come there On stage, so to speak Blow wind, come rack At least I'll die with harness on me back Which is the same old friend that I'll die with me boot Yeah, I got that Has anybody threatened you in person, Heather Stone? Yeah And what about that girl, Joan, and the way Charlie covered it? Ah, her view, he makes the vault A feasting present full of life Oh, listen, will you? I'm talking about Charlie, the boy she's thrown over For you and your phony promises That boy's crazy enough with jealousy to try almost anything Aye, he is mad Right, that he is mad He's true, he's true, he's pity And pity, it is He's true Heather Stone, he's mad enough to kill you And so are some of the others Yeah, you're pretty rough on your cast of actors On your crew But I must be cruel only to be kind Now what's that supposed to mean? They're so ambitious, all of them But so inadequate, so futile Do they attempt to gain the highest talent of this art With which I am so rich and down All right, all right, look, please Apparently Garrett feels that your life has been dangerous I'm sure of it And as long as I've come all the way down here I'll take his word for it That every one of your associates There's a serious personal reason For wanting to see you out of the way What private griefs they have allowed I know now Listen, will you On this side you'll allow Heather Stone, don't you care That somebody's out to get you My cast, my crew, you say Yes Pardon me Hmm, stands not within the prospect of belief Look The fact remains And yes, if we're true Then I must bear a countenance More in sorrow than in anger In gratitude toward me Who've given them so much Believe me, it is true That's why I insist you have somebody To look out for you Until you can get out of town These words are razors to me While I'm down That's why I spent for dollar This man, huh? Yes Let me have men about me Who are fat, weak-headed men And such a sleeper night, yarn dollar Has a lean and hungry look He thinks too much Such men are dangerous Will you shut up And yes, suppose I am to die Believe me, if it weren't for the 10,000 That it cost the company I sometimes think I'd like to take care of that little matter Myself And you would be found out That's what you think Then, dollar, look upon his face I quote So full of heartless jealousy and guilt It spills itself in fear in the distance All right The fact remains That in spite of what Garrett says You're determined to go ahead with this play This festival of yours I am In spite of the threats on your life Why not? All that lives must die Nothing through nature to return Okay, okay When's your next rehearsal? Oh, this afternoon But sir Station WVGR, right? I correct But sir And I'm going to be there To interfere with me at work? No, no, no, no To hide in a corner And see if all this fuss over you Is justified To see if the atmosphere down there Is as thick as Garrett says it is To either take on this case or not Depending on whether I think your life's Really endangering Oh, Johnny, his life has been in danger for years Of course You admitted Why? That I do So therefore harm If harm they could have done Would long ago have cost me in its grasp Yeah, well maybe you've just been lucky In the past, I quote Treason has done his worth Nor steel nor poison Malice, domestic, foreign levy Nothing Nothing can touch me further Oh, Lord And with that thought I bid thee now adieu Yeah, well, goodbye And yet perhaps We'll talk this out I quote To fear the world Of yours the world Good day, gentlemen You want a drink? Garrett, that is the craziest clown I've ever met But I still don't really see What you're worried about That's because all you've seen is The amusing side of them But I tell you, Johnny Look, did you mean that About going over to the studio? Yeah, sure And frankly, more to see How a radio show is put together Than anything else Then I'll arrange you to sit in the control room With the engineer, the fellow who keeps the voices And sound effects and music And things in balance Great, I'll have a ball Yeah? Well, you'll see why I sent for you Why I'm so sure somebody's Gonna murder Heather Stone If I didn't know you so well, Garrett I think you were planning to do it yourself And call me in as a cover-up You know something, Johnny Well, I'll call the studio Make arrangements for you I couldn't help feeling that Garrett's own resentment of Cyril Heatherstone was for a lot more Than the mere fact he'd have to revise His policy a few more times But if so, he wouldn't admit it to me Item 3 is our 25 tax data The studio's a WVGR There, I was escorted backstage So to speak to the control room It was a small room facing into the main studio Through a large soundproof plate glass window And it was loaded with complicated equipment Before the control panel With its knobs and keys and dials That Gordon Mitchell, the engineer A nice-looking chap in his 30s Through the window, we could see Heatherstone And the cats gathered around the table Working on the script Sit here right beside me, Dollar And you can see and hear everything that goes on in there Oh, well, sure, thanks, Gordon Yeah Is that microphone sitting in the middle Of the studio there, the one they use When they're on the air? Yeah, that's one of them There's one over there Beside all that equipment for the sound effects man Oh, yes, I see And then there's another one in that booth Over against the wall And what's that for? Two isolated for special voice effects Like a voice coming over a telephone Things like that A filler mic Oh, I see And then the one hanging over the table Where they're reading will be for the orchestra When it comes in later Say, you have a lot of stuff to balance When you're doing a show, haven't you? More knobs and dials and stuff You see here, this knob controls the mic Over their table out there What do the lines stretch out to the crack of doom? Well, I... Charlie Covelly plays one of the small... Well, boss Oh Well, well, in it Well, you said to get everything we could out of the line That I did So I added a couple of words to make a speech You added your shape Yeah, well, I thought that There we go, darling Boom Listen to his own words The views will find a gold The paints will lily The thrower perfumes on the violets He's wasteful and ridiculous excess Remember that I'm stopping religious You heard enough, darling Yeah I'll cut it off A gentleman's son Brother, he really tears into them, doesn't he? Believe me, that was nothing Darling, he's the most hated man in this town So I've heard So I've heard Pretty fast dealer, too You're not kidding He's your Nick me How do you mean? All my saving You know, invest in this Shakespearean festival You'll get a sponsor We'll all make a million Well, if it wasn't for the beneficial finance company I'd be on my uppers That way, huh? And poor Charlie out there Not only lost his shirt to Cyril But his girl, too That little blonde beside him? The one who's talking now? Yeah Well, listen, I'll open their mic again That's my boy There's... There's Rosemary, that's for remembering Pray you love, remember What? And there's Panties, that's for thought There's settled for you and here's some for me We may call it her bracelet, I mean What? You'll make the role of a failure live Oh boy If you don't get point, I'm going to... Silence Unhand me, sir, I'm silent Yes, Charlie, you must interrupt Cyril You're marching You're marching Where's your humility charged before me, the master? Remember this common proof That learned us in young ambition's ladder Sorry, darling, I can't take it Gordon, that guy is the most egotistical character I've ever seen He isn't going to live long Who are you thinking of? Any of that group out there And the sound crew and the musicians There isn't one of them hasn't gotten murder in his eye I told the insurance What were you going to say? Well, I... I sent a couple of notes to Cyril's insurance man He's an old friend of mine I didn't sign him because I didn't want to get involved But I told him what I'm telling you Somebody's going to kill that guy out there Unless you were... Let's go! Wait a second Let's go! You're not cute What's this and got to be in there When there's what to be done? Oh, sorry, Cyril For Mr. Hedlestone You're in responsible role Let Parkback go out The person's too quiet and out's too loud You're shouting at me A lot I will not have Okay, sorry Believe me, you will be sorry At this time he's done Believe me, I am sorry I never got mixed up Now, I will rehearse my lines With Hedlestone's father's ghost You may learn how Shakespeare should be reined The filter mic and automator Yes, sir Right in the isolation booth Very well The harkens, all of you To the great lines from the lips And the hark of a great aster Notice the pear-shaped toes They didn't like some self, though Look at those kids Look at their eyes See what I meant a minute ago There's murder in them Whose dad came in the door In the back door of the isolation booth That's one of the sound effects, man He takes care of it Hi, boys and girls How's the old violence? Is this microphone on And working properly on the metro? Yeah, it's on But work a little closer to it, William With a bit less voice You tell me how to use a microphone I'm quiet, all of you What's he waiting for? The mood, darling The mood? Come on, you old girl I am my father's spirit Doomed for a certain term To walk the night And for a day Confined to fast in piles Till the foul crime done Don't tell me he's forgotten this line Hence horrible shadow That's not the script My drugs are quick What is this? My dismal scene I need Must act alone Past hope, past cure Past help Wait a minute What's happening? I don't know, darling Who of yours truly Johnny Dollar in a moment Who among us has not hoped For a better life Who has not had a desire To help stamp out disease And suffering among More unfortunate people Throughout the world Many have wanted to help And many have done so That sort of work is going on everywhere Everywhere there is hope For freedom and a better life Outstanding in this field of activity Is Project Hope Which operates from a converted U.S. Navy hospital ship Called appropriately enough The Hope The Good Ship Hope carries out Its mission of mercy In far eastern waters Wherever doctors, nurses, dentists Sanitation and public health Experts are needed The Hope steams full speed ahead And gives what help it can In addition to giving medical aid The staff of the Hope Works with local doctors To acquaint them with the newest Of medicines and medical procedures At the same time, the staff of the Hope Learns a great deal about the symptoms And the cures of diseases With which they have had No previous contact When the Hope was in the United States Navy It was called the consolation And it is certain that the people Who now operate her Will give both consolation And Hope to those who are suffering Consolation, Hope And a new life For wherever the hospital ship Hope Is anchored, its staff Is to make emergency trips To scenes of disasters and epidemics Their services include A wide variety of skills From removing a tumor From a child's neck to Putting a bandage on an old woman's Cut finger But most importantly With the Hope Comes friendship and understanding Good medicine For healthy freedom Which is the right of all men Everywhere And now act two of yours truly Johnny Dollar and the Heather Stone Players Matter Daryl Peter St. George Heather Stone was dead The old Shakespearean actor had died Mothering the words of the immortal bar They're at radio station WBGR In Trenton, New Jersey When he fell on the isolation booth at one side I immediately rushed into the main studio And checked that that man's body is closed I searched every nook and cranny of the isolation booth And came up with nothing He's dead Daryl is dead Daryl is dead Well I'm glad he's dead He's had it coming for a long long time But he was going to make me an actress Oh don't kid yourself Johnny he was taking you like he took the rest of it And me I'm glad to see him lying there Who are you? Huh? Don Ringo sound effects man I just came in and timed it Hey wait a minute, who are you? Johnny Dollar Insurance Investigator That's right, Gordon Yeah darling, that phone in the control room Can you call outside on it? Sure Then call headquarters, get somebody from homicide over here Right you are I want you to stay right here by this isolation booth Make sure that nobody Say who by the way opened the door of this booth? What? I did Mr. Dollar Did you touch his body? No, oh no I hope not because What's the matter Mr. Dollar? Plenty What is it Mr. Dollar? Well at least I know what killed him Yeah? What? Don you stay here Okay, the rest of you back to the rehearsal table I want to talk to you About the paint I wasn't quite sure for a second But there was no doubt about that order That came from the isolation booth Like peach blossoms, only more delicate And more deadly It was the odor of potassium pears And I'm glad the trace of it was faint Because one good whip at full strength Would kill almost instantly, had killed I'd left Don Ringo there at the booth To watch him, see if he made any move Toward Heatherstone's body For Don had been the last one near him Before he died Officially there's nothing I can do Until the police get here You said you know what killed him Mr. Dollar Potassium pears and Charlie Ever hear of it? No, of course not One tiny crystal that swallowed kills instantly Or a single flip of it when it's heated Vaporized, same thing You think maybe he committed suicide Mr. Dollar? What do you think Don? What do you mean? Doesn't sound like Heatherstone to me Killed himself From someone in this room And Don, you were the last one near him I'll wait a minute Charlie, yes sir? And you think of anybody here who might have had a better motive For killing Heatherstone than you? No, no I can't Charlie, I wanted to see that phony Egotistical shifter dead More than anything else in the world But I wouldn't have killed him Well I would Charlie Gladly and I make no bones about it The police will be here any minute Don Good, how about your feelings Sure, I'm glad he's been knocked off But don't accuse me of having done I'm not accusing anybody yet But this is kind of funny The only one who admits he would have killed Heatherstone Is Gordon here But he was in the control room with me Not only when it happened, but long before it happened And potassium pyrton doesn't wait The rest of you though were right here Next to Heatherstone Any one of you could have slipped the stuff to him Before he walked into that isolation booth Yeah, but how would we have made him take it? Ah, that's a good question Did you find any of that potassium Whatever it is in the booth? No, but I got a good whiff of it You said it had to be vaporized For the pyrton gas to do its work, yes Dollar, could a capsule of it have been tossed into the booth Or maybe left in there for him to step on Then where's the capsule? Gordon, I went over that booth with a fine tooth comb John Yes, Mr. Dollar Are you the only one who touched him Before I came in from the control room? But you were the only one who went into the booth, weren't you? Yes The only one who could have removed any evidence of the means used To get that vaporized pyrton in there Mr. Dollar, if you're saying that Joni had anything to do with What's the matter with you Didn't you know that she was in She was in love with it All right, Charlie, all right, take it I thought I loved him, Charles Honey I guess it took this to Bring me to my senses Joni, oh, Joni All right, look We've got a murder on our hands And unless the police are able to come up with more than I have Well Nothing works The doctor who came along with Lieutenant Harper Agreed with my conclusion That Heather Stone had died from a hefty whip To pay it in gas But neither of them could find any possible source Of the gas Even after thorough inspection of the isolation booth The studio and every one of us in it Nothing did it Finally after some four hours of futile questioning Well, it was murder all right, Donner No question about it Any suspects, Lieutenant Any suspects, all of them Every one of them, except maybe the guy Who was in the control room with you Lieutenant, that should make him number one in the list You've been reading too many mystery stories Oh, look, Lieutenant How much longer are we going to have to stay around here You anxious to get away? What's your name, Ringo? Well, I mean it after all, you know Inspector, would there be any harm in putting My equipment away? Uh, what equipment? Oh, mics and mic cables, patch connections On the board in the control room, so on Uh, you see any reason, Donner? No, go ahead, Lieutenant Thanks, a little tired of just standing around What about us, Lieutenant? Is it doing any good to keep us here? Look, somebody in this place killed Heather Stone Yeah, but you're not getting anywhere Finding out who it was Are we all under suspicion? Yeah Excuse me, Donner, you're standing on this mic cable Oh, sorry Ask your question, Lieutenant The answer is yes Yes, you're all under suspicion But what good is keeping us here? You'd rather be locked up Excuse me again, Donner No, this cable Oh, sure Hey, now, wait a minute That's the cable for the mic and that booth? Yeah, that's right Excuse me Yeah, you can go ahead and take it away Go ahead Oh, I didn't know Maybe I know, Gordon This cable to the booth mic It's thicker than the other Oh, yeah Probably an old one Or maybe it's bigger because it has a couple of extra leads in it, extra wires Yeah, the old ones did Come on, Lieutenant You too, Gordon, got a screwdriver? Sure There you are Fliers, too, if you want them I don't understand why now There's mic in the booth Oh, careful, Mr. Donner That's pretty delicate Take the faceplate off this mic Sure, but why? Yeah, Donner A potassium peyotin A crystal, a potassium peyotin Vaporized in this booth Oh, sure, but you gonna tell me how? Maybe I'm just guessing, but I think so Go ahead, Gordon Yes, sir I still don't Yeah, I think you are Well, there's the insides of it Yeah, and that's all There's a look There's tiny ball of fuse metal Yeah All that's left of a heating element that was melted away inside this mic Thanks to the extra wires in that cable Oh, it's probably just a little piece of stuff Look at the color, a livid red Typical of the action of potassium peyotin on fuse metal On the heating element that was placed in the mic and destroyed by a surge of current for it Hey, that color, that's right, you're right Well, I'm The one man who didn't hesitate to say how he felt about Heverstone who said he would kill him who warned us and the one man with an alibi because I was there in the control room with him I suppose you disconnected the power leads to that cable when you went into the control room to call the police, didn't you, Gordon? Yeah, Mr. Dollar, you guessed right again But it was a good try, wasn't it? No flight of angels will sing him to his rest So, that was it and the company will have to pay the claim Expensive account total including incidentals and fare back to Hartford, $51.25 Yours truly, Johnny Dollar Now, here is our star to tell you about next week's story Next week, the Yours Truly Matter and I give you one guess about the name of the victim Join us, won't you? Yours truly, Johnny Dollar Johnny Dollar starring Bob Bailey originates in Hollywood It is produced and directed by Jack Johnstone, who also wrote tonight's story Her and our cast were Virginia Gregg Lawrence Dobkins Dick Crenna, Sam Edward Michael Herb Bygren and Hans Connery Be sure to join us next week Same time and station for another exciting story of Yours truly, Johnny Dollar