 Ms. Valquez says, question. Why is it that women need to direct men? Why is that? Because men are rather clueless, men are rather clueless because, and quite frankly, because nobody is taught how to be in a healthy, happy relationship. Nobody is taught this stuff. We aren't taught how to be in relationship. Folks, once you read this book, Eight Dates by Doctors John and Julie Gottman, you're gonna go, oh my God, why didn't my parents teach me this? Why didn't I learn this in school? Men are clueless. Men know they want women. Men want companionship and sex. Let me reframe that. Men want companionship, connection, and sex. After that, they have no clue how to manage a relationship. So why do you have to do it? Because women purchase these books 10-fold greater than men. By the way, here's a picture of my mom and dad. They were married 66 years before my mother passed away. Now, if you asked anyone of my siblings who was the leader of the relationship, every one of my siblings, including myself, would say, my mommy, my mommy was the leader of the relationship. My dad was just good at taking instruction. So you know what? Listen, guys who genuinely care about you, they wanna be instructed. Only control freaks, assholes, narcissists, and emotionally unhealthy people run away from instruction. Healthy men actually appreciate you because we can't read your minds, ladies. We can't read your minds. So if you actually give us instructions, we appreciate you even more. So it's not that hard. And by the way, my mom loved it. I'm gonna tell you a quick story. So my mother and father were having a dinner party one night, everyone was busy at their home some years ago, and there were two other couples there. So collectively 160 years of marriage. And because I'm a dating relationship coach, and I've known everybody since I was a baby, I said, what's the secret to relationship success? And the first couple look at me and they say, they say, marry your best friend. They both said it the same time, marry your best friend. In other words, meaning the person you married should feel like your best friend. So number one. Number two, the next couple said, never go to bed mad, always resolve things before midnight. Never go to bed mad, resolve things before midnight. And I turn to my father and I go, what's the secret to relationship success? And my father says, your mother understanding that I'm in charge of the relationship. And by the way, they were sitting opposite from each other. The other couples were sitting next to each other. My parents were sitting opposite from one another. My father said, your mother understanding that I'm in charge of the relationship. And I said, mom, what's the secret to relationship success? And you know what she said? Having your father believe he was in charge of the relationship. Trust me, my mom was the leader of the relationship. 66 years of marriage. Hey listen, doesn't have to be for everyone. You can certainly lead by example, by stressing your needs, wants and desires and standards. And you know what, would you rather be right or would you rather be happy? My invitation is be happy. And that's how you can go about it. Ms. Valquez, thank you so much for that question. I really, really, really appreciate it. All right, let's go swimmen. Okay, Weijin writes, hey Weijin, may you please explain some differences between rule and boundary. I express my standard commitment and boundary, but when things go wrong, he shared with me that he feels I set up these rules. Okay, so, let's go back to what I shared before, my standard for a relationship. I said, I'm seeking a relationship where we spend three or four days a night a week together doing shared activities, hobbies, mutual interests, spending time with family and friends, intimacy, both physical and emotional, intimacy, traveling together, moving in together, getting married. That's my standard. A rule would be, you have to follow this rule and nothing else. That's a rule. A standard basically is an opportunity to create a conversation to find out what's so. I share my standard and I turn to someone and say, what's your standard? What are you looking for a relationship? A rule says it's done my way and a standard is just merely expressing something. Use someone else expresses their standard and then you try to find a meeting in their minds. That's a standard versus a rule. Now, boundary is simply what's okay and what's not okay for me. So, if you both agree to spending two or three days or three or four days a night a week together and all of a sudden your partner only wants to see you once every other week, that's a crossing of a boundary. And you might simply say, hey, we made an agreement to see each other this frequently or we made an agreement to talk to each other this frequently. The boundary is expressing what's okay and what's not okay for you and then again, coming to an agreement. Now, ultimately you have to decide if someone crosses your boundaries repetitively, you may not want to be in relationship with them. But you get to, it's all about healthy communication. And if you're not familiar with the book by Marshall Rosenberg, nonviolent communication by Marshall Rosenberg, I highly recommend reading this book so you can get clear on better communication skills. This should have been called compassionate communication. I wished it was, but that would be my invitation for you is to learn better communication skills and express yourself in a little bit more clearer way. But certainly a standard is different than a rule. A rule is an absolute. A standard is an opportunity to hear what someone else's standards are and see if you can align yourself and then a boundary is what's okay and what's not okay with me. Regent, thank you so much for that question. I really appreciate it. Great question.