 Stand by for crime Hi Chuck Morgan KOP newscaster Los Angeles The story I'd like to tell you about today really began back in 1919. It's quite a while ago as far as I'm concerned In fact, I wasn't even around at the time Therefore I was completely in the dark when the telephone call came from my blonde secretary Carol Curtis Carol's been away in a short vacation was doing at international airport last Monday morning when I was to meet her The phone was ringing when I reached my office All right, all right I don't know what have it couldn't have given me another secretary like glamour for the wife. Hello Morgan speaking. Hello, Chuckie boy Glamour post. Why are you? I'm at the airport? I caught an earlier plane, but listen save it till I get there glamour post Go in and buy yourself a cup of coffee, and I'll be right along. No Chuck. Don't bother. I'm taking the next plane for Seattle You're what in Seattle? I'm catching a plane for Vancouver now. Wait a minute. What's this all about? I'll tell you I only have a minute before the plane leaves. You're not taking any plane, but go ahead and talk Well, somehow my suitcase got it mixed up with another passengers. Yeah after we landed I went into the ladies room and when I opened the case it was full of money It was what thousands and thousands of dollars. Oh, and it was also a map or half a map something about the Quentin McClain fortune So I'm going up to Vancouver to collect the other half of the man Are you not so you're just trying to be funny now you get back to boy I've got to catch that plane call me at the Vancouver hotel. Bye. Well, I'm a person what Hello, hello The dumb-headed blondes up. Oh, hello patty come in. Well, what's the matter with you plenty? That was Carol on the phone She's lost her mind. No kidding. What hospital are you committing her to now? Look, this isn't funny She called from the airport and said she was taking a plane to Vancouver because she found a bag full of money and half A map does that make sense to you nothing much that either of you two do make sense to me when you start one of Your wild adventures. I can't what kind of a map did she find I don't know She said something about the Quentin McClain fortune Quentin McClain. Yeah, you ever hear the name sure I have so is everybody well I haven't then you don't read your history book Quentin McClain made a couple of zillion dollars out of some railroads He owned back in 1919. He spent one of those zillion on booze on what booze liquor whiskey rum anything Alcoholic don't look so stupid Prohibition was on the way Quint read the handwriting on the wall and quietly went around buying all the liquor he could lay his hands on smart operator Oh, yeah, except for one thing his wife Bertha McClain was one of the country's leading temperance workers Oh, no as a matter of fact She practically put the prohibition deal over single-handed so Quint the sly dog didn't tell her what he was doing He bought himself a large yacht about half as big as the Titanic I'd say named her the Bertha M and loaded his liquids on board Sailed away for a big drunk big drunk my foot He had about three million dollars worth of liquor on that tub Yeah, he planned to anchor the thing 12 miles out and sell it retail The only trouble was he died of a heart attack the day after prohibition became effective What happened to the liquor? What do you think when his wife found out? What was aboard the Bertha M? She sailed her off one dark night and sank. Oh, no I miss son of a gun Pappy that map you don't think the Carol really well if she has Chuckie boy You better marry her quick because she's worth around three million bucks. What a story Pappy It'll be sensational the hottest thing that hit the wires in years Hey, where do you think you're going if you need me for anything Pappy call me at the van Cooper Hotel in British Columbia Well, I caught the next plane for Seattle and settled down to do some heavy thinking And the more I began to analyze this nutty caper the more it seemed like an adventure yarn from the pen of Robert Louis Stevenson Still there was the money in the map and Pappy's story about the Quentin McClain Boo's ship Then the usual questions began to present themselves Carol had picked up a wrong bag found it full of money and instead of turning over to the police She caught another plane out of the country like an escaping criminal On the other hand, I checked at the airport and found that no report had been made of a stolen suitcase full of banknotes Now why? Well, I wasn't any near the answer when we landed at Seattle and I picked up a plane for Vancouver. I Was even farther away from the answer when we sighted the peaks of the Lions And then began to ease down toward the airport of the lovely city of Vancouver British Columbia You know, I have expected to find glamour fuss waiting for me at the loading gate, but of course she wasn't Someone else was though a Very beautiful girl in a light blue linen suit and a wreckish beret She picked me out of the crowd as though she'd known me for years and stuck out her hand. Hello, you're Chuck Morgan, aren't you? Yeah, that's right. I'm sure I've never met you before I couldn't forget that beautiful smile Carol said you'd probably make a remark like that. I'm Candace Kemp Yeah, Carol Curtis. Yes, that's right. We got acquainted coming up on the plane. She's staying with me in my apartment Well, how does she know I was coming and why isn't she here to meet me? She said she knew you were coming because she said she knew you And the reason she isn't here to meet you is because she'd submerge in business to attend to and the reason She asked me to meet you is because she knew you'd look for her at the Vancouver hotel They're filled up there So I guess you'd better come home with me. I've plenty of room Seems to clear things up. Did Carol say where she was going on her urgent business? No, but she did ask me where point Sutton was located But I'm sure that wasn't where she went. Oh, why not? Oh because there's nothing there Just a point of land in the wilderness jutting out into the ocean If it does strange things to people I beg your pardon. Oh, nothing. Nothing. By the way, there must be another hotel in town We're a batch. Oh, I'm sorry. There isn't every hotel is filled to capacity. There's a lumberman's convention this week Oh, I didn't know I'm afraid you'll just have to accept my invitation in that case. I'll be delighted to thank you very much Shall we go? Well for my money, there wasn't much about this that I did up And I mentally figured up the score the answer came out on the wrong side of the ledger Number one glamour post even though the lust for gold had driven her stock raving mad Never would have sent a girl as beautiful as this can day's candle to meet me alone. Oh, never number two Miss camber was unusually anxious to have me accompany her to her apartment why And I kept thinking about the situation as I was checked through customs and we had it for the taxi stand And at last my thinking paid off as an idea Something wrong. No, no, I I think I'd better check with my boss in LA and let him know I'm not at the bottom of huge at sound or something. Would you be kind enough to keep your eye on the carpet bag? Of course just hurry back So I found a phone booth and called the Vancouver hotel Asked them if they had any vacancies. They said sure. Oh, I wanted so I said how about the lumberman's convention? They said that wasn't until next week So that was that the beautiful Candace was a cockeyed liar But what was her game? And what had happened to glamour person? How was I going to find out unless I went with Candace to her apartment? Well, that answer was obvious I'd have to go to the apartment and take whatever came along So I did The beautiful Candace drove us there in her own car She lived on Cambly Street. I Hope Carol's back. She's really gonna be surprised. I hope you mean she'll be surprised at the same thing I do Well, here we are Carol Carol Chuck's here. That's too bad. I guess she hasn't got back Well, sit on Chuck make yourself at home. It's very kind of you. Can I fix your drink? That sounds like a good idea. Fine. I'll only be a minute Well, so far everything seemed normal too normal. I Looked around and decided that the beautiful Candace must be in the chips That's a baila work. She was maintaining must cost at least a couple hundred bucks a month Which for a 20 year old working girl was a tidy sum But who said she was a working girl Dead working girls drive around to $5,000 automobiles So I began pondering on what kind of work a working girl would work at who lived in such luxury Just then the door to the bedroom opened and a man stepped up The man was holding a gun his face was familiar. I'd know that ugly plus anywhere It was Pickles Beckner the New York underworld's most recent contribution to the gutter. Hello Morgan Fancy meeting you here. Yeah fancy. How many jumps ahead of the FBI were you when you met it across the border Pickles? I'm clean Morgan clean as a whistle. So skip the cracks and hand over the map. What map are you talking about? Look Morgan, let's not kid around. They happen to know you got the map and I'm gonna take it away from you That's a good trick if you can do it. Just what makes you so sure I have the map I don't know why I'm so patient with you chum One of my boys was outside the phone booth when your gal Friday called you back at the airport in LA He's seen her address an envelope and drop it in the mailbox The map was inside when it's still inside. I never got it You know better in the light of me like that Morgan. I get ways of making guys like you sound off You want to should demonstrate a couple now look use your head Beckner if Carol mailed me the map from the International Airport Would I get it in Hollywood before three o'clock the same day if she sent it special delivery you would on that And if you didn't get it you wouldn't be up here now. So hand it over. You know, it's too bad You're not allergic to wishful thinking pickles because right now you're wishing for something that isn't in the books Yeah What's allergic means it means that unless you do some fast thinking the man who just came out of the bedroom behind you is Going to suck you behind the air with a blackjack. He's holding. Yeah Morgan you took the words right out of my mouth An account of it's behind you a guy is standing with a blackjack and the minute I give him the nod you're gonna get it One of us was lying like a rug. There wasn't any doubt in my mind Which one me? No one was standing behind pickles, but someone was standing behind me a minute later. He proved it pickles gave him the nod and I Got it the way pickles promised. I went out like a snuffed candle The familiar pinwheels shooting stars and zooming comments put on an excellent display and then vanished and soft darkness closed in The darkness gave away gradually to grayness and then to bright light. I Went into the bedroom and found nothing but destruction Apparently pickles have been positive that the map was hidden around the premises Then I saw something he overlooked or rather neglected a suitcase lying on its side with the golden ish o cc stamped on the letter cc for Carol Curtis. I Walked over and picked it up. It was locked But there was something inside something that rustled when I shook it money bank notes The thousands and thousands of dollars that Carol had told me about over the phone So then I knew that Lamacos had actually been here and they've probably been kidnapped or worse Now the conclusion of stand by for crime Well, having figured this all out didn't help matters any The beautiful Candace's $5,000 car was parked at the curb and the keys were in it So I got in and headed for the nearest filling station and asked directions to point Sutton I drove north along Marine Drive And after a while all signs of habitation disappeared now is on a deserted road with trees thick on both sides And forming a tunnel from my lights up ahead Then suddenly I eased up in the accelerator and swung to the side of the road a figure was lying there a girl Who lifted up her head when I stopped him against sobbing hysterically? Please help me and a sure sure. I'll help you. What happened? They beat me. They kept slapping me. Don't mean it kill me unless I told No, wait a minute. Wait a minute. Take it easy. You're all right. Who was it? Who beat you? Why? Then you're in the apartment pickles then you're I mean you didn't first there was only one the one called pickles Yeah, he kept calling me Carol Curtis He wanted to know where the map was in the money. I told him I didn't know wait a minute When did all this happen where right here? After that other man in the apartment hit you pickles made me come with him in his car He parked right here and told me that unless I told him where the map was he killed me Began slapping my face and getting madder and madder when I told him I didn't know about the map He thought you were glamp. I mean my secretary Carol Curtis Another car came along The other man was in it said he'd searched the apartment, but couldn't find the map so they left you here and started for point 7 Yes Chucky Carol's yeah, there's no time to lose look Candace I can't take you back to Vancouver now, but I'll drop you at the first house We come to any houses between here in point 7 and I don't want to be dropped anyway. I want to go with you Okay, that's the way you want it. Let's go Candace's $5,000 car really lived up to its reputation during the next few minutes It wasn't long before I saw the turnoff and swung the wheel hard The road was filled with twists and turns How far is it to the end of the point and what do we find when we get there? It's only a little way there are a couple of fishing shacks and nothing else And we better park this handsome crate and make it on foot. There's no sense in warning pickles if we can help it So we parked the car turned off the lights and started the head and foot It was a bright moon and far off to the right. We could hear breakers exploding on the rocky shore After a while we came to the first of the fishing shacks, but it was dark and deserted so we kept on without stopping Five minutes later a light winked at us through the trees It was a second shot and it was occupied as we got close the sound of circle louder Loud enough to cover sound of our approach We reached the shack and their cautiously inside The first thing I saw was groundless. She was tied tightly to a chair Staring toward the back end of the shack and by the expression of her eyes I gathered she wasn't too happy about her predicament Yeah, yeah, so I see Pickles and another man came into range of vision They stood in front of glamour plus with their backs to us, which was a lucky break Pickles had a short length of rope in his hand with a knot on one end. All right, baby one more chance. Where's the map? I've already told you I haven't got you Where's the map? Told you I made the check market. It wouldn't do you any good. Those men love chicken and eggs break me to Believe that story about two men pulling a pass from my cell and pickles back near a pony map that they drew themselves. You're crazy Pickles Beckner ain't that them, but it's true They were here in this shack when I arrived this afternoon I heard them talking about how they tricked you into believing an old sea captain had told the weather birth M was something and they made a map You're a lion Where are these men now? A third man arrived and told that something had gone wrong the money and map had been stolen all three of them left in a boat I still say your lion No one pulls a job like that on Pickles Beckner No one you asked me you're a natural for a job like that. You're so used to pulling jobs like that on other people like your This is awful. Yeah, come away from the window where we can talk But isn't there something we can do? Have you got a gun? No Only chances to get pickles and this boyfriend outside now look get back to the car as fast as you can Drive it up here with the lights on and the engine roaring, but if we warn them that never mind about that I'll take care of everything. All right So Candace went back for the car and I hunted around until I found a nice fat club Hard enough to make an impression on the skull even as thick as the one worn by Pickles Beckner I waited until I heard the sound of Candace's car way down the road Then I moved up to the shack store and I got there just as pickles yell One Peapoddy you want to blow your brains out Mike does alike Okay, I get outside and bring whoever that is inside and don't Give you no arguments So after a minute the door of the shack opened and closed a dim figure slunk out I Followed them until we were far enough away, so we couldn't be heard when I stepped up quickly and tried the club out for size It worked fine Mike dropped like Isaac Newton's apple and laid still I took off his belt strapped his hands and legs together stuff a handkerchief into his mouth and then found his gun Well now Pickles and I were even No, I had the advantage Can day center $5,000 car were on my side She was roaring down the road and at the pace of threatened destruction I sneak back to the shack and waited the $5,000 job swung around a curve and the headlights bought the shack into sharp relief Can day smart girl bought the car to a stop within three feet of the Shack's door and left the lights on For a minute nothing happened in the cabin door open and Pickles stood there a perfect target All right Pickles you haven't got a chance get your hands up Much as I dislike shooting a man without first warning him I wished right then and there that I'd forgotten my principles for once and let him have it all right Morgan They still got your girl throw down your gun and come in with your hands up. Don't do a chop. Yes. You should you do Hear that Morgan There's more coming every second you take to make up your mind Your decision why then I ain't kidding. No, he wasn't kidding. I knew Pickles I listened to Carol taking two more blows and then started to throw my gun away and head for the door Don't do it Chuck wait Candace was back in the car away from the shack I didn't get it until she stopped and rammed the gears into low and started forward Then I saw what she was up to I ran around to the Shack's window just as a $5,000 job Christ through the Over One headlight went out but the other hell told me pickles Crouched in the corner his eyes wide and scared Pickles this time you get no warning That gun out of the way and stand up facing the wall with your hands behind your head Nobody outsmarts Pickles Beckner. Nobody you cheap dumb parasite. You've been outsmarted by 120 year old girl Beckner and his pal made a couple of fine prisoners the Vancouver police were glad to get them Well, we drove back to Candace's apartment and went up for a drink This time when the beautiful Candace disappeared into the kitchen. I was reasonably sure she'd reappear carrying a tray of glasses Hey, this is quite a joint your girlfriend sports. Hmm my girlfriend What are you doing fishing for compliments again? What do you mean acting as though you'd never seen this place before you've been living here Haven't you living here? Are you kidding? I'm living at the Vancouver hotel. Thank you Do you mean you've never been in this room before of course? I mean it. Well, I'll be a lot Here you are Carol Chuck, thank you listen Candace. There's still an awful lot about this that needs clearing up for example You told me oh, yes, I know I told a bunch of whoppers and I want you to know why so do we go ahead Candace well in the first place. I'm Quinton McClain's granddaughter What you mean the man who bought the booze and stashed it on his yard? Yeah, that's right Grandfather and grandmother used to spend their summers right up near here And that's how my mother happened to meet my father and why I was born here. Well, what do you know? So how did you know about the map and the money and all the rest? Well, I was visiting some friends in New York and one night at a nightclub I heard grandfather McClain's name mentioned So I eavesdropped and heard enough to make me think that the sunken ship had actually been discovered And I naturally felt that it's cargo belonged to my mother since there were no other airs So I started home and on the plane from Los Angeles to Vancouver. I was Carol's seatmate We naturally got to talking. She told me all about you Chuck As a matter of fact there little girl this big gorilla here's too much of that. All right Well, anyway, when Carol learned I lived in Vancouver. She began asking me all sorts of questions Especially about points. Ah, so that made you think that Carol had something to do with the sunken yard That's right So then when she told me you'd be up on the next plane. No, wait a minute glam repose How did you know I'd be up in the next plane? Simply because I know you chucky boy you big hunk of stuff you I see go ahead can't it well Then I thought it'd be a good idea to find out what you knew Chuck and I knew I could do that by winning your confidence And I knew I could win your confidence if I told you Carol was my guess Well, no way. You didn't have to go that far candy candy. Hmm. Look, let's finish up the explanations and get out of here Chucky boy. Oh, oh, yeah Now let's see Pickles must have come up to Vancouver ahead of us pals There were two of them on the plane the Carol took out of New York a man and a woman Why a woman because the money was in a female suitcase remember a female whose initials were cc That would be pickles old girl Ben Catherine Kramer Now when Carol got the wrong suitcase by mistake neither Kathy nor her companion could report it to the police Because he probably figured that any money the pickles could raise will be stolen So they called pickles in Vancouver and told him that Carol was arriving on the afternoon flight Now Carol arrived on an earlier flight But I was on the second flight and left the airport with Candace so pickles naturally thought the Candace was Carol But what I can't figure out is why Catherine Kramer and her boyfriend didn't try to get the suitcase away from Carol in LA Oh, the answer that one is easy. What do you mean easy? Well as soon as I found the money in the map in the suitcase I made a copy of the map mailed it to you and turned the money over to the airport authority What no wait a minute That's the case with the money and it's locked up right now in the trunk compartment of Candace's car I found it in that bedroom the initial cc were on it was yours. I heard the money Russell Russell Well, there's a switch. I think I can clear up that little mystery The wrestling wasn't caused by money Chuck. There are things that a woman wears that Russell too And you seem to forget that my initials are also cc Oh, no, do you mean that all this time? Oh, no, Jackie boy This is where we came in. There's a plane back to LA at an hour. Shall we take it? Glamopus for once I'm sure I've got the right answer. Yes, let's take the plane