 Hello there, my beautiful, lovely, talented, delightful, inspiring, sweet internet friends. Welcome to Wrapping Paper with Joe. That's not what I'm calling this. Welcome to Wrapping Up the Year and Wrapping Things with Wrapping Paper with Joe. Admittedly also a terrible title. So I have like two hours here where Brian is out of the house, which means that I can wrap Christmas presents without fear of him seeing when I got him. And I also have had it in my head to do like a looking back at the past 365 days, the year that is 2020. Some of the actually really cool things that have happened. The reason that I wanted to do this is not because I want to overlook the fact that 2020 was really difficult for my country, for the world, for people that I know, for me personally, for my family, because it was and there's no escaping that. But I've noticed that I personally have a tendency to sort of paint years with like a dark brush stroke of like, oh, a lot of bad things happened without taking time to savor and taking time to appreciate some of the really cool things that occurred. So I want to talk about some, some things that you guys know about, some things that you don't know about as we wrap some presents together. Does that sound good? I hope it sounds good. Let's dive in. Also, real quick, before we dive in, if you wouldn't mind hitting that like button, that subscribe button, maybe that bell notification, if you feel like it, that would be delightful. By the way, side note, dark chocolate, hot chocolate, exponentially better than normal hot chocolate. We have four cute wrapping papers to choose from tonight. And also, because I thought ahead this year, I got these for like three bucks off Amazon, some name tags, I don't have to sharpie things, and some fancy glittery ribbon. That's what this is ribbon. Let's get this presents. Don't ask. Quick disclaimer, if your name is mom or dad and you answer to that in reference to me, do not watch this video till after Christmas because you'll see your Christmas presents and then Christmas will be ruined and you don't want that to happen, do you? I'm talking to you dad, yeah, that's right. I know you watch my videos and I love it. So let's take a look back at 2020. Guitar string winder. Do I have any idea what this is or how it works? No. Do I think it'll be cool for the person who's getting it? Probably. Oh no, my scissors are very not sharp. I feel like this is a year that we are gonna be processing for many years to come for a lot of reasons. As previously mentioned, this is not something that I would normally do. I've joked with friends over the years about like, ah, that year wasn't my year, maybe next year, because you know, difficult things always happen. And I've realized that in the process of doing that, I have failed to be really appreciative of some of the cool things that have happened. Again, this is not like toxic positivity BS where I'm like, everything is awesome because I'm choosing to think about happy things for me, it comes back to this concept of savoring and appreciating the good moments even in the midst of a really difficult time that kind of helped me set my head in the right direction, I think. Let's start in January. So January of 2020, I made the decision to start coming off of some of the medications that I'd been on for most of my life. I made a couple of videos about this, but I was on, I don't know, a handful of medications every morning for nightmares and PTSD and anxiety and depression and chronic pain and migraines. These were all separate medications, right? For the record, there's not a darn thing wrong with taking medications, but these were all drugs that I'd been on for so many years, I really wasn't sure if they were still doing anything for me anymore. So I made the decision that 2020 would be the year of trying to come off of medications, seeing how my body reacted, seeing if I still needed them or not. In January, I came off the first one of those medications and I made the decision to kind of set that intention for the year and just see what happened. And that began a journey I did not think was possible. I honestly, with reason, believed that I would be on these like seven or eight medications for the rest of my foreseeable life. And I started slowly being able to come off of one and then another and then another until I was daily medication totally free. Like this was a big victory for me, right? But hold on. I actually think one of the bigger victories is the fact that after coming off of my antidepressant, which was like the final boss, which was the last medication I decided to come off of, I was off of it for a month and a half or so and I really wasn't doing well mentally. And previously it's always been in my personality to like try to push things. Like listen, Joe, you said you'd come off the medication. You should stay off that medication like power through. But I thankfully have learned enough about myself and enough about mental health over the past few years to realize that was just silly and unnecessary. So after coming off of all of those medications, being very excited about announcing it, I made the decision to go back on that antidepressant and it was the right decision for me and maybe I'll try again in the future. But I know that for the time being it's something that really helps my mind and my body and I'm really grateful for it. This next one you might be familiar with if you've watched my channel, but being able to go for a walk in the morning on my own two feet by myself was a giant victory one I achieved a few months into 2020. I was able to get up at like 6 a.m., put sunshine here on and walk down to the park. I ended up walking almost two miles and that freedom, the ability to like just go for a morning walk is not something that I had a year ago today and it's something that I am insanely grateful for. Okay, quick, quick wrapping paper break. It'll be worth it. I just need you to see how freaking comfy and adorable my sweet little puppies are. Now you may notice one's missing. Don't worry, she is upstairs hiding behind the chairs there. It's like her thing, don't ask me. But these, these sweet little babies, all three of them, plus my kitty, plus my rats are definitely a bright spot. I am not the world's greatest gift wrapper. Let me demonstrate. I feel like this is like acceptable gift wrapping. We'll let it go this time. Forgot to take the price tag off. That is like a holy rule in my household. Do you do that when you give gifts? Do you take the price tag off? I know some people do and other people don't, but like if we left a price tag on in my household for like Christmas or birthday, it was sacrilege. This would have been easier if I'd done this before it started wrapping. So speaking of holidays and special events in my family, I'm really sad this year. Take a break from some of the cool moments of 2020. I will not be seeing my family for Christmas. And I know that this is the case for many of us, but I spent 28 of my 29 almost Christmases on planet Earth with my family. And we don't have like a lot of traditions or things like that in my house, but Christmas, even Christmas are like sacred. Not even necessarily for any religious reason. No matter what else has been going on, my family has always been together. And Christmas Eve, I'm gonna clue you in on what my family holiday looks like. Christmas Eve, we would make fondue. So good. It's like the one night of the year that we'd have fondue as a family, eat that. And then there'd be like this layout of cookies and brownies and things like that to munch on as we all open one present and then read some like Christmas-y stories like gift of the magi. And my parents used to read out of the Bible, the book of Luke about like the Christmas story. And then we would just hang out and talk. And I don't know. It's something I look forward to every single year. And then Christmas morning, this is my absolute favorite, guys. It used to be a thing my brother and I did together. We would get up at like 2 a.m., 3 a.m. when we were like little kids. And as we got older, we got a little more reasonable. We'd get up at like six or seven and watch Elf or the Grinch or more recently all of the Christmas episodes of the office waiting for my parents to get up. As we've gotten older and we have spouses and other responsibilities, I still get up. I still get up crazy early and my brother does many times as well to just stare at the Christmas tree and like savor the morning and think back over the year and drink some delicious coffee. And like those early morning moments on Christmas where I'm staring at a Christmas tree in darkness and the house is quiet or like, ugh, my favorite. I'm still planning on doing that Christmas morning by myself here. And I'm gonna enjoy it, gosh darn it. But my little heart is a little bit broken that I'm not seeing my family for all those traditions and that this year will go by without any of that. All right, with that brief detour out of the way, let's move on to auditions, plural. So if you'd asked me at the beginning of 2020, Joe, what are some of your greatest fears and or things you think you are truly terrible at? I would have told you, well, number one, stand up comedy, that is my greatest fear. My dear internet friends, I kid you not, I am truly petrified of having to make jokes in front of people and try to make them laugh. Oh God, but I would have told you a close second was acting. I've always made jokes about being a horrible actor like I don't act or I could never act or things like that. But I've always been interested in it in the back of my mind. Last year in February, I was asked by a company that you know the name of to audition for a show. It's a superhero show. It was an incredible opportunity. So I auditioned, let me just clue you into something guys, my audition was not great. I self-taped it when I was on a trip before the pandemic hit and I had no idea what I was doing. Okay, so I didn't hear back, no surprise there. But in the middle of October, I got a message from the casting company and director saying, hey, we actually would like to call you back in. I got a call back and had a live through Zoom audition with them. But for this one, ironically, two weeks before I got that email, I had become very good friends with my friend Dominic. I'm linking his channel down below and he is by trade a frickin' acting coach. And so I called him and I was like, Dominic, I don't know what I'm doing and I'm so terrified and this sounds really fun and cool, but I don't know what I'm doing. And so he spent hours with me preparing me for this and through this process, I was like, holy crap. Acting is so fun, like it's so cool. It's just, it's so neat to like embody and try to figure out the head of someone else, like what's going on and what motivates them. And it was so just therapeutic and fun. And so I auditioned for that, it went well, it didn't get the role, okay, no big deal, but like the acting bug was in my head, right? Flash forward to just a few weeks ago, I got a message from another casting director for a Netflix show, which is really frickin' awesome. I feel like I'm talking really loud. If I'm blowing out the mic, I'll fix it in editing so you won't have to deal with that terrible noise. It asked me to audition for a role, which means that I got to go through the process. With Dominic again, you are frickin' rockstar, thank you, of becoming and playing around with this character and like, don't get me wrong. The fact that I was asked to audition for these things was just mind blowing, like such a cool opportunity, something I do not feel like I deserve, but I'm so grateful for. But even more than that, I realized that I really, I really like acting, and it's something that I intend to continue to pursue in whatever way that might look like, whether it's local theater or auditions like that or whatever. Speaking of new hobbies and passions. Now, if you watched my live streams, you'll know a little bit about this, but I bought some watercolors on the recommendation of a very good friend of mine. Watercolors always scared me because I heard that they were like really unforgiving. I love art, I do a lot of art, but I never tried it, and so I gave it a shot and actually realized that I love it, and I've been like staying up at night to practice watercolor for the last couple weeks and just enjoying the process of learning and not trying to like make it look good and actually. Mom, if you did not heed my previous warning, I need you to skip the next 20 seconds of this video. I'm gonna show you what I made my mom for Christmas because it's watercolor. Just picked this up from the framing place today. Framing is ridiculously expensive, by the way. I will never understand, but I'm really happy with what they did. This right here is a watercolor painting that I did a few weeks ago of just like a snowy Christmas scene and I liked how it turned out. And my mom sent me a message about really liking it because I'll center some of my paintings sometimes and so I thought I would have it framed for her. So this is evidence of a new hobby that I'm really enjoying and it's cool to have something new that brings me joy in the midst of everything that's been happening over the last many months, you know? I feel like this deserves special wrapping paper. Let's go with this one. I'm just gonna make that my trash pile. Be nice and aesthetic for the YouTube video. Next, we have what will go down as obviously one of the biggest wins of 2020 which you guys are well acquainted with and that is getting my running blade. This is also for my mom and is a Hamilton throw blanket because I got her into Hamilton the musical which is freaking awesome. Also a huge bright spot of 2020 for me. I have no joke. Listen to that soundtrack. You know, probably about 45 times. That's normal, right? So getting my running blade. This is a journey that you guys have heard all about. Having the opportunity to learn how to run again after 16 years of not really being able to do it at all without intense levels of pain and then finally being able to try this is just amazing because Colorado is cold and snowy I haven't been running the last week or so but slowly and surely I'm getting stronger and I don't know what else to say except for getting a running blade is something I'll never forget and always be grateful for and can't wait to keep continuing to improve on. So this next one I wrote down. I kept this little bullet journal during the year and I jotted down cool things that happened in different months and I was like, yeah, this actually was a really cool thing for me along with many other awesome opportunities and people. I got to meet like sort of a YouTube hero of mine. I'd been watching his channel for years and really enjoyed his content. A lot of it was pretty healing to me. I got to meet, hang out with and then be on his show not once, not twice but three times my friend, Jimmy Snow and not only that, much more importantly I got to meet him as a person found out he's absolutely delightful in real life. That's right, Jimmy. I called you delightful because you are a delightful person. It was just really cool to be able to meet someone in real life who I'd watched online and really enjoyed what they had to say and how they said it. So yeah, that was also a small but also pretty big highlight of 2020. Also, Jimmy is the reason I met Dominic who was a freaking fantastic human being who helped me with acting and also just generally speaking is as previously mentioned an absolute gem of a person. Do you feel like your rapping skills have declined over the years? I certainly feel like mine have. Or maybe it's just like my concern for how well things rap. Don't get me wrong, it still matters but I'm not like stressed over how my presence look anymore. I'm just excited to give presents. Also cool in 2020, I got to go rock climbing without a leg, which was a lot easier and cooler than I thought it would be. And also a definite highlight for me was going to the Ninja gym and like trying it out on my prosthetic. It was just, oh, it was so cool. I've watched that Ninja Warrior show that I can't quite remember the name of on and off and just been like amazed by the things that people do because I love doing that kind of stuff and being able to actually go to a gym and like try it out for myself was so cool. Flushing back to October, an intensely personal and thus intensely meaningful win was when I went back to Pueblo, Colorado for the first time alone in almost 10 years. Pueblo, Colorado is a place that held a lot of substantial trauma for me, a lot of really, really bad memories. Used to be a place that if you said like Pueblo in conversation, my heart would start racing faster because it was really a trigger for PTSD for me. And I made a whole video about this but the long short of it is I was able to go back to this place that had held so much power over me, so much darkness over me for nine years of my life by myself and be okay. But that is something I literally never thought I would be able to do because I was so terrified of that place that will forever be one of the largest personal wins in my years thus far on planet Earth. I try not to talk too much about my relationship with Brian here on this channel. Like we have a few videos together which I love doing. I love when he's willing to be on camera with me but Brian, my husband, I'm not sure if I mentioned he's my husband, I bent this tape, it doesn't look good anymore. Oh well, our relationship is something that I'm really proud of. It's taken a lot of hard work. I love him, I love being around him, I love that he's my husband and I really appreciate our relationship. It's an absolutely flawless and perfect and we never get upset about anything or never. You know, we have like a marriage but our marriage is really strong and I'm really proud of that and I feel like the past many months have tested that for a lot of married people being stuck at home. Brian used to go to work, now he's at home working all the time. I'm at home working all the time, we are around each other all of the time and it's actually been really cool. It's actually been something that we've worked out really well and come to really enjoy and after nine months now of being cooped up inside with that man of mine, why can't I, there we go. That I absolutely adore him and I've really enjoyed this time and I feel like we and our marriage is even stronger because of it. Another thing that I feel ridiculously grateful for and I also feel weird talking about publicly is the fact that a dear friend of mine entered me to win a stationary bike, a Peloton bike back in December and in March. It was gifted to me by the company and that's insane, that's absolutely nuts to me. But it has been such a gift when it comes to physical rehab to actually gaining some strength back to feeling like I can push myself and feel my body work and have my body not hurt. Like even if I'm having a bad leg day, I'm usually able to hop on the bike even for a few minutes and that is not something I would have ever been able to do of my own means, right? This was just something I am so insanely humbled by and grateful for and has been a real gift this year. Kind of a silly one, but also kind of not. TikTok, hear me out on this one. I have done a lot with TikTok this year. In fact, I just got like my TikTok wrap up and I have done almost 400 videos on TikTok alone. If you're unfamiliar, TikTok is like a video sharing app and I've grown a lot there in the past year, which is insane because I am definitely not that interesting. My lovely audience, you and those on TikTok have seen fit to grace upon me, your listening ears and your watching eyes. And I've had so much fun playing around with TikTok over the past year and just like doing goofy videos and making jokes and dancing, just having fun with like being creative and I've absolutely loved that. So I'm absolutely certain that there are some massive things that have happened in 2020, 2020, I mean 2020. I'm certain that there are massive things that I'm forgetting to mention in 2020. So if you can think one of those things that I've mentioned, please feel free to leave it in the comment section down below, but those are just some of the things that stick out as both personally or relationally or whatever just like cool things that have happened during the year. It's also obviously been a really challenging year. I think mental health for absolutely everybody has been difficult with so much uncertainty and weirdness in the world and contention and just stress, right? And uncertainty and we lost our little cat, Louis who we loved very dearly and we had a death in the family. Long story short, it hasn't been like an easy year but I did want to take a moment or two to reflect on some of the big and small things that have happened. Be grateful for them and be grateful for the joy that they've brought into my life. I did have some hesitation in making this video because I was like, I don't want to make it seem like I'm like everything is so great or even worse. Like I'm just thinking positive about the past year because I don't think that that's, at least for me, particularly healthy or realistic either but I do find it personally really beneficial to write down or remember some of the good things that have happened in the midst of very difficult things because it's easy to paint over things with a broad brushstroke of everything sucked or everything was awful and maybe everything did suck or everything was awful but I find that for me, when I ascribe that label to things oftentimes I miss a lot of the gems that are hidden within all of that suckiness or darkness. Those are some of the pearls and some of the gems for me and I appreciate you listening. I appreciate you hearing me out and hearing me talk about some of the bright spots. I hope that you're able to find some bright spots for yourself too. I know God for so many reasons, it's been a rough year and that is the most cliche thing I could say and I think we're all tired of hearing that but I recognize the struggle that so many of us are facing. It looks different for different people but it's hard for everyone and tonight my heart is with you and I hope that this community is a place where you can find rest or healing from whatever you're facing for a moment or two. I'm really grateful to be here with you, thank you. I have a few more presents to wrap but my battery I see is dying and so I am going to wrap this up here so I can actually get my outro done before it dies and if you celebrate Christmas, Merry Christmas. If you celebrate any time during the holidays, happy holidays. If you absolutely hate this time of year and do not wanna celebrate or happy holidays, anything, totally respect that, totally understand and I will just say to you, I hope you have a lovely morning or evening or afternoon wherever you are. I say this in every video but I really mean it. A huge thank you to all my patrons over on Patreon. Patreon is a place where people have optionally gone to choose to financially support me and participate in a community and most of you I've never met in real life. Many of you I probably never will meet in real life and you have chosen to invest your money, your time, your attention in my life, in what I'm doing in this community and it blows me away. It truly enables me to be able to do these videos at all and I love knowing you guys. You are a huge bright spot in my year. If you've watched any of my videos, you are a huge bright spot in my year and I'm truly, truly grateful for you. Thank you so much for spending a few minutes out of your day here with me today. You could be anywhere in the world doing anything else and you chose to hang out with me for a few minutes and that means the world to me truly. Thank you. I love you guys. I'm thinking about you and I will see you in the next video. Bye guys.