 Tell me how you really feel Cuz I just want to build with you black girl. Tell me how you really feel. I just want to keep it real with you Yeah, I want to live better better. I want to love better sleep better. Yeah, I want to feel so aligned Sublime sublime I want to live better you better Sublime One time for elevated rhymes two times for showmanship three times for black hands and land ownership revolution I bring to you where there ain't blame to you Nisi blues on war tunes singing to you I am the rebel without a pause no applause trust me. I am Chuck D getting mine off Many fools they clock watching my moves and I needed to reappraise a little flavor took some time off now back Jesus black V the slumbering unborn all could occur in the current untold I'm the rose that rose to exes pros and rose at a stone still yelling to do a megaphone always rapping baby forever home I need the park calling the kettle black. I am the flame keeping the kettle warm. I'm the blame for the Renaissance It's called I write and recited with young feathers on I Love you and write it recited with down feathers on I mean that shit cold And I'm the coldest listen. It's the message right here Like boy tell me how you really feel Cuz I just want to feel with you black girl. Tell me how you really feel I Want to keep it real with you. I want to live better eat better. I want to love better sleep better Yeah, I want to feel so aligned Y'all give a round of applause to this band right now And we are here. Yo, yo, yo, what's up? It's your boy convo And I'm Jelisa and welcome back to another episode of we need to talk and as always you guys when you See us on this platform And when you see us on our own platform You see our lovely Jelisa to my left acting all shot She know I'm a shot out, you know, I'm saying but I gotta do it. I gotta do it all the time You know I'm saying one time for the one time All right, thank you, baby, but you know it give it up for us both for us one time for the one time and Of course, of course, of course, we have to give it up for my boy Allen in the background Mr. Producer mr. Voice from above give it up for my boy Allen one time For the one time And as always big bro, we appreciate the opportunity. We appreciate the support We appreciate of you allowing us to hold down the platform every Wednesday Here we need to talk and you know I'm saying and um Let's give it a couple seconds, you know I'm saying get some people brewing up You know I'm saying, you know how everybody, you know I'd be watching Facebook sometimes on live and they'd be like, yeah, you know I'm gonna just sit here until we get some to we get some people inside of the live You know I'm saying so they'll just sit there and talk about canned solders for like five minutes Until a certain amount of people come in we're not gonna do the five-minute joint But you know, we're gonna let some people get up in here, but until then baby, how was your day? Eventful from from jump wasn't it? Yeah Yeah, you got through it. You got through it man. That's and that's what that's what matters. That's what counts, you know um so we could take this time out right here to uh Just make sure you know say everybody that's watching this video live or you know after it's being posted Please hit that like button hit the subscribe button on this platform and even on our platform Wntt pod. You understand. I'm saying um, that's where you'll catch us on our own platform. Um Through the grace of God, you know, I'm saying we had the opportunity to come on this platform and talk to you guys every Wednesday Do our thing last week though last Wednesday. Um, we missed you guys because um, it was Allen's birthday My boy getting old they grow up so fast. Yes, they do. It's just yesterday. He was just yesterday. He was like, what 43 You know, I'm saying to do just turn 52 like a week ago. It's crazy man. Like the dude is out here growing man I love it. You know I'm saying I appreciate I appreciate him growing so fast Now we gotta send you something over there for your birthday too, bro Kind of kind of slacked off for that man, but you know, we'll be we'll be in the building with you, bro. Um, yeah, so We have recently guys, um, you know, we are stationed out here in um, north kakalaki north, Carolina And um, one of the radio stations big radio stations out here is a k 97.5 And we recently had a radio personality from that show come on to our platform You know I'm saying miss a dub give it up for her one time You know, she came through Talking her talk, you know, I'm saying she's super single. You know, I'm saying she's super ready to mingle You know, I'm saying anybody that's up out here in north kakalaki You want a data right of your personality sly to her dm? She would be so appreciative of it Please don't but um, as you guys can see man, um the title of today's episode You know, I'm saying can you love me? at Can you love me at every stage of me? You know, I'm saying every single Transformation I go through in this thing called life. Can I love you through yours? You know, I'm saying and I think that's um Something as us being together, of course, you guys know 18 years into making and counting Um, that's something that we had to I wouldn't say battle with but you know endure You know, because For sure. This is not the girl that I met in 2004. This is not the same female She doesn't change about five six times and I'm pretty sure how many times you think I changed, baby Countless times did you change? Yeah, baby. Come on now. You sound way more annoying now. Oh, yeah, you're right. Yeah Definitely. How was uh, how was that when you first met? you were super sweet And chill And cute Damn, I ain't cute no more man. Damn that I thought I still had it a little bit. You are cute. I don't mean cute like How you look but like cute and how you I don't know used to say I would just mad shy and stuff like that Just cute like trying to be romantic like super romantic trying to Impress you and shit like that I get it. Yeah, I only Now you be burping in my face farting on me. All this like yo look mad loud better out than in though better out Than in you understand. I'm saying and we spend so much time together that you just happen to be there when I gotta let this thing out Thanks for living through my faults and burps, baby. Give it up for you one time for the one time, you know Oh the bite in the nails but that's always been there though, right? You didn't do it in front of me though Oh Okay, okay, okay. I used to see him but you wasn't I dig it. I dig it. I dig it. So another thing that I could say Well, not another thing. I think I could say uh from how you were opposed to now you All right, you are sweet now. You know what I'm saying? You are still sweet But you were like super duper sweet back then like super sweet and soft, you know what I'm saying and um You were unuh tainted. I think I tainted you a little bit With anger, you know in some ways or whatever. But um, that's neither here nor there The important part is That throughout our relationship. We were able to Love each other through our growth Whether the growth Was something was a change that we didn't even really like too much. You understand what I'm saying But we did understand look we ain't kids no more. We ain't the same kid that we were when we met All do is I love strong enough to stay committed in this marriage Throughout our changes The answer has always been yes for me And obviously her too But um, what you think was someone like the biggest changes, you know, I'm saying growing from kids to adults Oh god being a parent You know, it's crazy. I forgot that we parents for a second. I'm just thinking about just the marriage But yes, definitely parenting because it ties in a lot and it affects your marriage I think like 50 percent of having to deal with Your children and different parents and styles. Um That's a major thing that changed us True true true true true shout shout out shout out to um as in the background man, you know, I'm saying she uh She putting up the good um comments up there. You know I'm saying getting us acclimated. That's that feels so good It makes us feel so welcome. You know what I'm saying makes us feel like there's a team behind us That's freaking awesome. But um, we're gonna get back to it. So I think that um, honestly When it comes to growing with someone That can be the hardest thing You understand what I'm saying when it comes to long-term relationships because um Shit, who knows if I'm gonna like who you turn into bro Right The risk you take being with someone right am I obligated to stay with you and this just this doesn't just go For um couples that grew up together. This is for adults meeting adults as well I don't think the changes are that significant unless something crazy happens Because as an adult you're pretty much Set in who you're going to be right um, they might be little variations of things you might Not like some some things and pick up on other things different hobbies different things you might like Like that, but I don't think like there'll be major Personality changes you don't think so you don't think that if there's people out there in 30s and 40s, right? They get or 20s 30s or 40s or whatever, right? They get together they want to be in together for another 40 years and they like you think that that 30 year old gonna be the same 70 year old What a most part A little more tired and or grumpy You know, I'm saying not just you know, not willing to do certain things that that 30 year old guy or girl was willing to do You know, I think we we constantly change until we die I think we experience because we don't change. I'm just I don't think it's major like personality differences like If you were mean as a younger one, you're all of a sudden really really nice. I don't think that Sure Major happen. Yeah, and you just you know, I'm saying like you you make a life changing decision Like yo, I've been that asshole for the first 35 years of my life, bro I don't want to be no asshole throughout my 40s. If I'm gonna be a nicer person. I'm gonna go to church I'm gonna do this. I'm gonna do that I'ma say, you know, I'm saying nicer things more, you know, I'm saying Because you know what kills me is when I'm around older people and they say Oh, wait, wait till you become my age. Wait, wait till you get to become my age and stuff like that And I think about like damn You say it like is I'ma be that different of a person Yeah with age, you know, I'm saying did I not stop growing yet? Am I still like Becoming Jimmy am I still becoming me are they referring to who they are or to their body changes? I think both Because they were like, I ain't got no time for this man when you come my age I just ain't got no time for I don't tolerate this that in the third and do no no So you gotta think about it in a relationship your spouse your significant other has to deal with You becoming of your new age hitting your new stage You know, yeah, definitely I get that having less patience for bullshit Right, right, right, right, right and I think um Well, let me just throw this caveat out there guys for anybody that's listening tuning in We advocate for families and marriages people that want to be in families people that want to be in marriages So if you're a single type or whatever in you know, you you for the streets or whatever the case may be Don't feel offended by some of the advice we give you because you don't want to live This type of lifestyle that we live we live a togetherness lifestyle So the advice we give is for that. Um when it comes to being single, I know it's hard out there But I ain't got no advice for you, bro. If you don't want to be inside of relationship Um, these are relationship tactics and and views and conversations. So um, we'll get back to it is a person Obligated to tolerate the new person that they um, their person is becoming I ask that because There was a time in our marriage Where I was like, man, I don't gotta deal with this shit You understand what I'm saying? It was like this ain't this ain't the girl that I married Like this is a completely different type of girl But by then we had children We done been through the army together. We you know what I'm saying? We got Purchases big purchases together and everything and I was like But is it worth sabotaging our marriage and breaking our family up because You're having a growing a growing moment You know, I'm saying can I adjust my love for you? Can I adjust how I deal with this new person you're becoming? It depends if if I'm Becoming unbearable to where you are just really unhappy and you can't see Any more good in me. I don't think you are obligated Because why would you want to live the rest of your life miserable? That's true. That's true. I don't think that's fair. So you wouldn't be tight like if today tomorrow. I'm like, yo, babe, listen, man I don't think this could work. I don't I don't like how much you like the house clean normal bro Like you know what I'm saying? There's some stupid shit like that. You know what I'm saying? Like I don't have anything I dislike about you. That's why I can't give a good example But if there was an example of how you may have changed into today and I'm I hit you with the I can't do this. They say this ain't the girl I fell in love with is that going to be respected by you? If I love you and you feel that You're not happy my love for you wants you to be happy And I can't say I truly love you if I'm going to make you stay and be miserable I don't think that's love. I think that's just selfish Yeah, yeah And uh Now we can try all right. We can talk about it and be like, okay What is going on? Why are you feeling this way? What am I doing and? Try to make some changes before we just call it quits But if you're ultimately just not happy at even if we try to make some changes and things and stuff like that What if the new you Just likes something else What if the change is just like how you are You just mentally I guess grow and want something like different Yeah Then didn't do is it is it right to Go ahead and break it off with You know I'm saying your spouse because you grew into something different. You got tired of something and you just want something new now So if I changing I want something different like um drugs Something like that then I don't think That you would have to be Obligated to stay with me. Damn, baby. You're talking a lot of breaking up tonight, man. No for real. Come on Let's people don't be honest. That's why people are so miserable because they're not honest with themselves if I'm a drug Added and I'm and I'm always high Can't do anything my kids are seeing me like like why why would you want to? Yeah, I get it, but this I think I'm one of my baby. I'm a helpless romantic You know I'm saying and it's like I I cling on to You know I'm saying my family and shit like that and I'm no longer your family at that point for real You think so I'm not that person I'm not that same person that you fell in love with that you married that I'm completely going You change for the worst you mean. Yeah. Hmm. Yeah, so you think it's only worth it if a person changes for the better Yeah, what if you can't help it? What if I what if I what if I became like Yo wild like super duper insecure with time That's not for the better though. That's what the worst But it's something I just can't help it's just how my brain works now. You know what I'm saying Not because I picked up a habit anything I just had a crazy personality shift So you became like a clinical diagnosed paranoia Paranoid person Yeah, maybe yeah Oh, they say they say for better for worse. So yeah, what what if what if I did have a mental Episode, you know, I'm saying now. I'm gonna it's completely different stage of my life. We're gonna get you on some meds You don't get me on some meds. It's not just over. Oh wait. This nigga wild now. It's old It's not like that. Oh, all right, but I could I could I could appreciate that I could appreciate that because that's type scary because you know we You never know, you know, I'm saying some shit could happen. You could eat some food one day then Wala, you a whole different person. You don't know. Yeah, you know, I'm saying it's true. Yeah, it happened now if somebody's Changing to for the better and you don't like them Better in themselves then I don't that's kind of crazy. Yeah, you want your person to stay stagnant Yeah, probably because you reached your peak that you think that you can get to And you see your your your person elevating And does it it might cause some jealousy or resentment inside your body because why are you still growing? I'm sitting here. I'm good I'm content. Why you still want more I don't think that's cool. Um people Should always want to better themselves facts facts and if you I mean, it doesn't even have to be something major like become some crazy Millionaire or whatever it can be just okay. Like you said, I'm gonna be kinder Right, right things like that Or I want to be able to Help my community and you know do charity work things something like that. I don't think there's anything wrong with Doing that type of things that work now. Let's be it. Let's let's keep let's be a hundred percent transparent with the audience Okay, I'll go first. I'm just gonna ask you this. I'll give you some time to think of your answer. Okay But the question is going to be Has there been a hard time in a relationship to where it's like You thought you couldn't get past it because of a personality trait or whatever Right, and I can say that today. I am super duper pooper scooper proud of my baby to my left because at one point I did feel that um She was not I'm gonna say easily influenced but uh the influence of um Maybe some family members and friends maybe had um Swayed her to make decisions that I didn't approve of You know I'm saying at her younger stages in life before I met you No, no, no, let's talk about after after like while we were together, you know, yeah, so You know I'm proud now to where we had we had a point now to where She can she she like considers me more now, you know back then when we were kids That consideration really wasn't there and we were kids. So it's understandable. What guess what as we weren't married Yeah, and we weren't married But when when we were kids when I was a kid too, it was like damn. I felt like yo consider me You understand what I'm saying consider me, but now that we're adults and I'm looking back I'm like Bro, he was a little ass boy. He wasn't married and nothing like that you want this girl just to listen to you But at the moment I was like, yo do do what I say type shit. Yeah, you know and um some things Uh, she didn't want to do in front of certain people because it was embarrassing You know, um, so I was like, you know what? As I got older I stopped having those expectations and I stopped being that way and it kind of saved me from um Disappointment and stuff like that. You know what I'm saying? But without me asking She kind of like made a switch. She made a turn. She made a change to where Now even if it's something that might embarrass her with a friend like, oh Um, no, I don't want to go to Miami and shake my ass because I'm considering my husband No, she never did that but you know, I'm saying she would say she would make a decision like that and consider her husband And in a respectful way like she's not embarrassed about that anymore before The consideration for her dude was a little embarrassing for some types of things and I think that you've grown um Into you know, I'm saying a better a better woman, you know, I'm saying mentally because of that You know what I'm saying? Yeah, I'm proud of you for that. I appreciate that too It makes things a lot easier for me too because it makes me feel like It makes me feel a sense of loyalty like she has a Some type of loyalty for me because of that consideration Like we say all the time guys That is a very important part of relationships that consideration And a lot of times that consideration can be very hard because you go against your moral compass To appease someone else and it's like It could be super hard. That's a difficult balance because All right, you're not my Husband. Mm-hmm So I can't give you all of that Right as of yet because you haven't made a commitment to me to show you that But then again, you have to show some of that in order for you to make that commitment. It's so weird Yeah, yeah Yeah, because like I always say you got to be a wife and you got to be a husband before you actually put the ring on You got to you got to practice. You know what I'm saying? So It is what it is with that. Is there are there any changes that I've made that um, you just love in the door That's a hard question to ask because I was not thinking about my answer. I was listening to you. Oh, I'm sorry bendita I'm sorry, baby. So you could you could you could just sit on it there You could just sit on it. She was trying to make sure I say no no nothing crazy She went upside my head y'all to be like, hey, it's on it's on film I wouldn't have to call the police Allen would have called the police for me He knows our address. He would have sent them him telling you to call them We we spoke about this already like bro, whenever you see her do it, bro Calling people's not I get all right. Just think about it though. Um, you were super jealous. Yes. Yes. Yes and You are not like that anymore Okay as much Yeah, I could say as much it's it's really not really there. No like that at all but Yeah So it was the jealousy that you just hated. Yeah, I don't like that. Yeah You think that's an immature trait or that's just a trait that people have period have that that trait. Um I think it's more insecurity than image and immaturity but more of an insecurity But the more that we've grown together And like you saw that I'm there I think you kind of Like, okay, she's here. She's with me. Right kind of thing And and I could I can honestly say throughout all of our changes, baby. I loved you Through all of them jobs even on the hard ones You understand I'm saying I loved you. Um, we got, um, otho Williams junior in the building True a woman that'll listen before marriage is key very important. That is a fact Um, but we got to listen to we got to listen as well, bro. Not just a woman men we have to We have to consider our spouse, bro Because what I see a lot of women now what they struggle with is these dudes don't want to listen to what we said They don't care how we feel And I think you know with that us not care how they feel we have to but we also know at the same time that women are full of feelings So if they're full of those feelings, we have to care about those feelings to a certain extent We can't say oh, they're full of this stuff and then just straight ignore them and debunk them all the time We can't we have to entertain the feelings sometimes guys. I know it could be annoying to Or whatever, but we have we got to do it and and believe you mean when you When you cater to her feelings and You know saying her happiness a little bit, bro She's gonna melt right in your hands. Trust me. It's a trick, bro. Jalisa. Don't know. I played that trick on her and it worked You think I don't know damn. She know I thought I was slick. You're not slick. I know everything I just might not tell you that I know but I know but you made it so you let me get over with go get over with it I'll let you get over on a lot of things You're thinking you're getting away. I'll let you get away with a lot. I'll be thinking I'll be thinking I'm low I'll be because I sit back. I'm like, yeah, I did I did that She probably mean about it, isn't he? Sweet talk of this here. I let him get that way. I let him get that w I know exactly what he doing, but I know what you don't know me. You don't know I'm doing When I'm when I'm plotting in to To shake something up, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah, that's when you you don't you don't know those times I know you've been knowing that too, baby. Yeah You obvious I am yeah I'm purposely obvious though. Okay So don't think you just got me. Nice. No, I don't don't think you just got me She don't she don't just got me y'all like, you know what I'm saying? I gotta let her feel like You know, she know me Yes, you're right. Okay. That's me catering to her feelings, you know You gotta do that So here's the thing I want to say about that comment. Um Yes, you do have to give and take and listen and things like that, but sometimes If It's hard to Put all of that into someone And you not be sure if they actually going to commit to you Okay Because there's a lot of people that are in relationships, but You know, the woman wants to be married and the guy doesn't want to be married But she's doing all the wifely things and he's still like nah Well, that's relationships relationships are A gamble it is it is You know, just because it's a gamble that that don't mean you be a worst gambler because you're not sure of the outcome No, I'm not saying a worst gambler, but I'm saying They are doing those things and they're not getting nothing in return Then you just you crapped out You crapped out you're gonna crap out more than you get an ace You know I'm saying you're you going when you get that head crack though, you good You know I'm saying just stop rolling the dice after you get that head crack The thing is what what I'll be seeing and all this talk about hypergamy and everything like that I ain't gonna just you know, it is what it is baby, but Women think they think I have better all the time. So they keep rolling them dice even after they hit them head crack And they see their friends keep head cracking over there. They're like, I want to roll the dice again and get like her maybe Maybe get better I don't know. I don't see that in everyday life. Uh, you don't you didn't grow up in brooklyn I don't see that. You don't see these girls leaving. They do so by me again I could do bad over myself or I'm gonna find a A dude just standing there. No. Oh, yeah, you gotta be outside, baby That should happen in everywhere and you gotta turn that you gotta turn your phone on Yes everywhere, baby I don't see that in everyday life. I see that on social media. You can't believe everything on social media got people's heads all messed up. Yeah, but you can't just you can't just ignore it though Because You know, we are most of us are on social media You understand, I'm saying 90% of the the the chat is in is in is on social media. So You do have to consider social media when you're Looking at Society Our whole society's ran off that phone that chip. You understand? I'm saying So you have to you have to consider it. Yeah, even though, you know, you're right It might be a small percentage of the whole population or whatever, but that's just the post that we see. Yeah Not even that small percentage, but How many people Lie on social about their whole life on social media. Oh plenty. So many people cat Exactly. So to take that seriously And really run with it is kind of dangerous You know, I'm saying like look at the people that you see That you actually see every day That's not happening So I don't know I get what you're saying. I get what you're saying just people off their In a person like it person to person interactions. Now what they type in on instagram or facebook people make up a whole life and tell stories just to get Comments or lights or Um sympathy or whatever That's real. That's real because on on instagram. Guess what guys? I don't got a bullspot on instagram. Shit My headline is perfect on instagram. Shit. Let me take this hat off right now Looking crazy. I'm looking like a modal combat character. You understand what I'm saying But yeah, I get you. You're right though. You're right. But still when it comes to Certain ideologies and certain, you know, I'm saying things that especially if you hear it a lot like, oh, yeah This is how this going this how that go. You got to pay attention. You got to tune into that You got to tune into that because What's on social media whatever's popular on social media people tend to follow And they tend to take that today to their regular life They try to practice that shit even if it goes against they their own morals They see they see or think everybody else doing it. Oh, look at look at this chip. Oh, look what they're doing on my chip I gotta I gotta apply that to my real life And that's why you know our music and everything all that shit is dangerous because it gasses these people not just the women But the dudes too it gasses people like like the dude John Moran. I'm super disappointed in that dude, bro Yeah, I'm super disappointed in him. You know what I'm saying? You're a multi-millionaire You took like 200 m's in And you just feel obligated to try to look like A gangster, bro I am no longer get again with one million dollars. I'm no longer any type of Street anything bro. What? I'm drinking with my pinky in the air. I'm bougie. You're wild What If for him to get caught for a second time You know what I'm saying because he wouldn't look cool with guns and stuff like that. I get it. He ain't break no law I get it. He ain't break no laws. He ain't ain't like he out there shooting a robber somebody with it But it's the image Well, I don't like yeah the image. I don't like these Um figures They have children watching them. Mm-hmm Like why would you post something like that and promoted? that's not Good for them because then they're gonna try to pick it up and that's why people are mad. Yeah It's the same way we got pissed off with Lizzo for shaking her ass at that game We're gonna get mad at John Moran for consistently doing this type of stuff, bro Showing zero disregard for his organization His fans and the people that look up to him all the little boys that play want to play basketball like him. Yeah You understand, I'm saying now when they see him in the car Oh, he can't put the guns down Oh, I gotta get a gun in and play basketball good to be like John Moran I remember if I wanted to be like Mike, you know, I'm saying it was always something positive It was always about the basketball, you know, I'm saying or when you say Kobe you you thinking of a jump shot You know like this this dude now it's like come on. He has the potential to be something big I'm just super disappointed at him man. Like, uh You stupid he he pissed me off and I wouldn't be mad if they if they just They just banned him bro for a whole season I think they that that means hey, they they screwed over Allen Iverson That's what I was saying at work today. I was like he's a new Allen Iverson Yeah, like you won't be rebellious. You're gonna get that hammer till you burn You're gonna be in a damn d league for the rest of your life. You're gonna be mad You understand I'm saying but um, let's take it some celebrities. What are some celebrity? Um Some celebrity uh couples that has gone through growing pains I already know Who your favorite couple Beyonce and Jay-Z They've been through all the growing pains You could tell you could tell by how Beyonce look right now. She'd be going through some shit She don't even look happy like she don't even look like the regular Beyonce no more And I I think you got a lot to do with her family, bro Especially with with Becky when Becky came through bro. Like, you know, I'm saying But you know, she loved them through it though Can you love me through Becky With the good here. No, Becky. Yeah, Becky. You better stay away. Damn it. You better stay. I don't care how good that hair is You better stay away. At least it says she ain't with the bullshit I'm mad at it though. I'm mad at it. I'm mad at it. Hey, we if we got any um chats coming through man put them up so we could uh You don't say have a plot of room, but um on the topic, baby. What what else you got for the topic, right? um growing pains That's what that's what this sounds like some grown. We have some growing pains Yeah, growing pains, uh I'm gonna tell you when I learned about growing pains your mother taught me about it and that was when I was um stressing to her That um, I felt like I wasn't where I needed to be in life. Um And that was That was like a whole year. I was in that funk You understand? I'm saying and to me that was That was a change that was a you know, say a stage of me That really wasn't too too good too powerful too healthy um But yeah, you you stuck you stuck with me through it, but um I think that was really a difficult time for me and those growing pains Helped me to grow And it kind of pushed me to get to that next stage in my life. You understand? I'm saying and I think that um growing pains are very beautiful in a way Beautiful. Yeah. Yeah. I think I think growing pains are beautiful because it teaches you a lot And and that's when I started to become considerate more considerate of you You know, I'm saying in the decisions that I made Because before with straight selfish, oh I want to do me me me me me me me me You know, I'm saying I want to do this because of me. I want to do that because of me If I if I if I'm up then we up, you know, I'm saying I wasn't really thinking about You making moves for the family as well. I was just thinking about me my moves as a as a family man Yeah, you know, that's something we did have some struggle with um It's kind of because I guess you you feel that You need to do everything For yourself and I don't Think that that's fair If I'm here and I'm able I'm not gonna let you do it on your own But you want me to you wanted me to just chill and whatever whatever, but that's not that's not who I am that's not how I ever was or I just can't sit back and just let somebody Struggle and I can help right Shout out to you for that because there's there's a lot of people out there that would have just Put the burden on that person and Would have judged them for what they couldn't accomplish and they ain't trying to help out with nothing Right. I just I just don't understand that I I can't see somebody struggling and if I can help look not help That's just cruel to me. I think So earlier I was looking up the five stages of marriage. All right So we got the honeymoon stage. Oh man dangerous You know the the fun stage or you're all in love and happy Butterflies and this and everything that says that can last up to two years, right? And we got the power struggle stage You're like that's when your life starts to get a little more real, you know, everything is becoming a routine and uh your expectations Of the relationship is not really reaching to what you thought you now you now you're realizing. Okay My expectations all the way up all the way. I'm thinking happily ever after that's not real And we got the stability stage. That's when you accept your partner and um as an individual and Instead of wishing to change them. You just like, okay, this is who they are and you respect it and you love them for that You let them flourish. Mm-hmm That's when you learn to figure out all of your differences and how to navigate each other and resolve those issues that you have Then we have the commitment stage By this stage you have recognized there is no ideal partner nor ideal relationship You choose to commit to the individual you married You both have learned how to communicate and continue to do so You can freely share the good and the bad with each other trusting your commitment to support you Um It says it's common in a commitment stage to realize you love your spouse But you may not like them at all times and that's okay. We are all human and we are not perfect But your love Can look beyond the imperfection, right? Then we have the co-creation stage This stage is when you and your partner consciously use your partnership to benefit People or something beyond your marriage. This typically involves engaging in joint creative projects So What stage do you think we're on we're on that when you just read just now With this podcast give it up for the we need to talk back for one time for the one time because I believe that we are trying to You know, like we are advocates for family and marriage and I think that we are trying we we try to um Help people that wants to be inside of a marriage or stuff like that But um, I think that they got the whole committed joint in the wrong spot. I think it's too far down the line. Is this in order? No, I think that committed joint should be like number two or three No, it's in a good spot. It's in a good spot because when it had the other joint said because the um, the one way it was like, um It's like a power a power struggle. I think that was like number two stage two or something like that That was a rough time boy That was a rough time because that's when I had shoot with me being personally. I don't know how you Took it in that stage, but I was like, man If I ain't got no say so in this marriage Then I don't want to be in this damn marriage You know, I think we was fighting for that power role and stuff like that and it it became it became overwhelming At at some point, you know, I'm saying to where I was like, yo, is this how marriage supposed to be? I thought the husband spoke to have some say so in this shit, but you know Not saying that, you know, she wasn't listening to anything, but I wanted everything I wanted a hundred percent cooperation That is delusional You understand what I'm saying, you can't have a hundred percent cooperation, you know, so on both sides Yeah, I sure don't hate me because you still bite your nails Baby, you can't you can't ask me to change a habit, bro. Like I can't I can't help that I'd be sitting around I bite my nose. I don't even know I'm doing it I like I thought baby. Okay. What stage you think we at? Um, we're at that I think we're at that commitment stage the commitment stage Okay, I think that's where we at. Yeah. Yeah, because yeah, we we really do talk about that to where Yeah, we agree that we don't like a lot of shit about each other I wouldn't say a lot of shit, but there's a lot of some stuff some things about each other that You know, we don't like at the moment But we don't let it overthrow the overall marriage We got my boy Ui Ui in the joint. I might have you know Chop sui you join up, but I'm we're gonna say Ui. You know what I'm saying? Um, most have it been taught the importance of every role and responsibility You taking care of the house or giving motivational support is sometimes way more helpful than your version of assistance don demarco One time for the one time that Is very powerful And um, I uploaded a clip to um our social media In regards to that exact thing right there, um Right now, I understand, you know that relationships and um, you know couples and everything Okay, shit is expensive now You need a tour come household. I get it Okay, but what I don't want our lives And um and our fiance's and stuff like that to get away from is the essence of being that supportive woman Yeah, that's not the wrong with being a supportive woman. I think that's what you should be in a relationship Yeah, but a lot of women think that the way they support has to be monetized my monetary support No, that um, yeah, that can be a way to support but it's also emotional Support and encouraging things like that. Yeah, like what I what I see what I see a lot of guys You know I'm saying even the guys that chime in or not stuff on or instagram and stuff like that They yearn intangible support from their woman Intangible support so everything like you said could be emotional um Spiritual whatever, you know, I'm saying the case maybe I say emotional support is being that peace that quote unquote peace that All these guys be asking for you understand. I'm saying That that's huge. Yeah, you know, but I don't think women really want to play that role anymore Is it too much to be that like is do you guys really think that um, the only way you guys To support is the way that you want us to support you What do you mean because you expect for a guy to support you financially, don't you? Right, that's like a big thing on women's list And we find that that's how Women tend to support their man. They support their man in ways that they want to be supported. So One of the reasons why some women go out and Get that financial thing is because They can do it for themselves. I don't think they're looking for their man to Some women are to um financially support them in that way. They're looking for them to do more of the emotional support and the more that kind of support other than the financial support because Yeah, you can take care of me, but if you're at work all the time What what good are you other than working? Like I need you here with me spending time with me being around me engaging with me So why is that never a qualification to get a man? How come when we ask women What do you want in the man? It's always some shit that you can touch It's always that it's not important and for um people to say that money And provisions is superficial is really immature because You literally need that to survive In this day and age, right? So you can't say that it's superficial if that's something that you actually need to survive because then you're saying Living is superficial that no come on. That's not Well, and this is this is this is another thing that confuses me everybody want to be Freaking a baller or or make the most money in the freaking world Most people is not able to do that. Yeah, you know what I'm saying. So how come when I when I ask a girl what they Oh, he got to make six figures You know six figures is rare Most dudes that but what the average income in America. I think it's like 42,000 dollars You understand I'm saying so six figures you want me to damn near triple what the average is bro And you ain't nothing but an average woman I got to be super man You know I'm saying for A regular a regular chick. You understand. I'm saying the hell no I mean, I get a superman did date a regular chick, but I think she became a superwoman, bro No, man No, no, he didn't date he I was thinking I was thinking about spider-man and um And his girlfriend. She was regular Jane. Mary Jane. She was regular as hell But but that's a cartoon She was regular as shit, bro. And he had to be a damn superhero. Oh my god That's some bull shit. You didn't know he was a superhero. Man. That's some bull. That wasn't a requirement Man, that's some bull. She fell in love with him without even knowing If he wasn't a superhero, she wouldn't have felt nah, nah, come on And when she felt out that he was a superhero that made her that made her even more Because he lied man. Listen, maybe she found out he was super. She ain't break up with him because he was superman She's like, oh my dude a superman. Oh, it's lit. Ain't nothing you can do wrong now. It's over Look, look, how important is friendship and how do you re-establish boundaries in the different seasons Of a relationship I'm sorry I don't have glasses. Yeah. Yeah. It's like I would I would have ready. You could have pointed it out for me All right, my boy mark. How important is friendship? Friendship is very Important. Um, and how do you re-establish boundaries in a in different seasons of a relationship? That is a great question, man. Like that that is an awesome question How do you re-establish boundaries in a different season of a relationship? So With the different seasons comes maturity, right You guys have been together for X amount of years because I'm assuming that the different seasons is The different stages of the relationship, right? You have to mature and grow with your relationship Both of you have to You have to communicate. Yes. If something is making you uncomfortable Or you're not liking something um I mean you have to of course It's always how you say things That's very important how you say things and when you say things is important as well. Don't say it when you're arguing No way. Nothing gets across there. Don't say it when Someone is having a bad time Like they family members just died or they just lost their job And that's that's where the importance of friendship comes in that because if you and your you and your significant other than Y'all homies y'all y'all cool y'all can talk and chat about whatever y'all want to That makes that communication part that much easier understood and received You understand what i'm saying if your relationship is just based off Oh when we get together we're gonna turn up we're gonna hit the club We're gonna have some sex and we're gonna wake up the next morning and do the same thing again There's no real friendship there. You just having just nothing but fun until the fun dies out You're really not going to experience a different season inside of your relationship But if you with that girl that you like y'all vibing and everything y'all in love you, you know, you don't marry her Y'all got some kids and stuff like that five six years later go down the line And she's just interested in something different Or she just had she's something sparked in her to where now she wants to hit the gym now Something she's never Wanted before It's up to you my boy mark to be like, you know what? She want to hit the gym now Prop you got to rationalize probably it's because we getting older and she don't she don't like the The roles or something like that that might have been came from the pregnancies or something like that And you just just support it, bro And if it's something that you don't agree with let's say she want to go to the gym And y'all just can't afford another bill on your on your um on your statement Then you just communicate that with your bed. Look listen, man I know you know I'm saying this that in the third last time You know I'm saying you got a little little pudge better that you you kind of a little insecure about I love your pudge better. I love it honestly, you know I'm saying and I know that you want to hit these gyms up But yo, we got all these other bills we struggling right now this that in the third Let's try to Do something different. Yeah, let's go for some walks. You know I'm saying and instead of buying soda Let's buy some water You know, I'm saying I'm saying and maybe let's substitute the uh the ground beef for for for ground turkey You know, I'm saying let's start eating a little different before we you know I'm saying jump into the gym because honestly right now baby. We ain't got it You know, I'm saying if she can't respect that if she wants some oh no, I want to go to the gym Then yeah communicating with her is just bad. That was a great question. I love that question um, I'm gonna actually look back on this episode so that I can Um actually write that down because I want to ask other couples that question. That was very intelligent Um, we got angel griggs in the building with the ten dollar We can't we can't play the other one. We're gonna play that for y'all for the for the super chat um What can families do to make sure that the conversations are being had and accountability is held When some people are ignorant of the things they don't realize they end up lying about Or lie for fun Hmm Though he told my life probably a pathological lies and stuff like that What can families do to make sure that the conversations is being had and accountability is being held When some people are ignorant of the things they don't realize end up being in line okay When it comes to accountability bro You can't force someone to be To be accountable you can hold someone accountable But that doesn't mean they're gonna take the accountability um accountability is is a selfish act you understand i'm saying so As far as a conversation You got a cold. You got to call them out on it, bro. You got to be honest Maybe not brutal. You know i'm saying because you know as many we want to be straight Let's give it to him like that But you got to understand how that person receives information and you got to kick it to him like that, bro You understand i'm saying that's the best way to get someone to understand their downfalls and to get to that Point of being accountable for their actions if she did or says some shit to you that hurt you or she's lying all the time She's becoming a pathological. I hear she's becoming a pathological. I just lying just for fun just for the hell of it You got to hit him with yo, I know you're lying right now But if you let them keep getting away with lying guess what they're gonna keep doing lying You know do you have anything for that? Yeah, I do so With something like that. I think model behavior is Something that actually is very effective if you start pointing out your imperfections and admitting to it it kind of makes it It would make like a little it would ease some of the tension and it's not all on that one person being the bad person and it will lower the That you know how it can get out of hand And it's like okay That will make someone feel like wow This person is actually looking at themselves and reevaluating themselves and automatically you're gonna think that that's a good quality in somebody I'm not doing that Maybe I should be better as well and I'm not saying that it's gonna work all the time. I'm not saying that It's gonna work right away but keep doing that like Holding account making yourself accountable for what you do That can help and also um When it comes okay the whole the whole lying part two bro, um A A liar is gonna lie bro, you understand. I'm saying um, it's up to the person that's receiving those lies to call them out That's what I do when my even with my kids when my kids start lying I'll be like this don't even sound right. This don't even sound correct. You understand I'm saying I literally told my kids one time. Yo, you got to be better liars than that You understand. I'm saying you got to call it out, bro. You got to call it out and and um with the accountability um Like I said, it's a it's a selfish act a person that Doesn't know that they're doing wrong Is going to continue to do wrong Okay, so and sometimes people need to be told that what you're doing is wrong You understand i'm saying and um, if they're never told that they're not that they're you know I'm saying what they're doing is wrong or whatever the case may be and you know I'm saying nobody's telling them to be held accountable. They're not gonna they're not gonna hold themselves accountable, bro There's just people out there like that. You just can't change it um Some people it's just a lost cause You know and it's it's it could be family members. It could be friends. It could be your spouse. It could be your boss your coworker anybody bro Accountability is very hard for people because nobody wants to feel like they're doing the wrong thing Nobody wants to be a bad person. Nobody wants to be the bad guy and that's why people lie facts Facts facts. So yeah, that was a good question for my my boy. My girls and my boy If you got a lie about it, don't do it You shouldn't be doing it if you feel like you got a lie about it or hide it. Hmm That's real. That's real. Uh, my boy angel came through again with the five dollars. He said, um She's saying to lower myself To their level to raise up together now Lower yourself so you guys you're not lowering yourself to their level because You are being a better person. They're not because they're not holding themselves accountable But if he does if he if he doesn't Hold her accountable. He is kind of lowering himself to her level and he ain't with that. He's like, no, I'm not doing that Should I'm not saying don't tell them like You're doing something wrong. I'm just saying You as well Can say, okay, you know what? I did this. I'm sorry Whatever or I don't think that what I did was right As well, you can still say I don't think what you did was right. Yeah, bro. I'm gonna tell you I'm gonna tell you what I learned Even with me being in the music industry, right? You don't ever ever lower yourself to a piece to anybody You don't ever lower yourself to a piece to anyone not your wife. Nobody bro You want to say what I'm saying? I made that mistake There was a time when I was making music or whatever. I was on the rap scene having in new york or whatever boomer boom whatever Um, and I got accolades that I didn't give myself. I was super crazy with the metaphors and this that the third, right? I legit felt and my wife could tell you because she's the one that told me to stop doing this shit I legit felt that every time I made a verse when I was on a song with certain people I had to dumb down my lyrics So that I so I can kind of Not feel like I'm doing way better than them or just lower my level so that I can meet them where they're at My wife noticed that I was doing that she was like Don't ever lower your don't ever you know saying d devalue yourself or lower your talents to make someone else Feel better. They just got to get up on your level And I had to realize that Just just because I was taking their feelings into consideration. That wasn't making me a good person It was actually making me suffer a little bit Because shit It wasn't my fault that I was good at it. I had to actually try hard to be worse And it stressed me out. You understand I'm saying And then what happens is those verses go out into the world and then The people that was supporting me they hit his verse like man, this This ain't convo right here. This this verse ain't really it And they're not knowing that the only reason why that verses like that was because I was trying to You know, I'm saying level out with a person that wasn't as good as me Now for real like it it was it was crazy Yeah And at at at the same time I I could have lost supporters because of that right, you know I'm saying lowering myself do not ever lower yourself, bro Either they're gonna get on your type of time or you just gonna always be over them There's always gonna be people better than someone nobody's always gonna never gonna be on the same level, bro And if and if you in a relationship and she's telling you to lower stay above her Because when you above her she's gonna want to have him to follow you anyway But I don't see how holding yourself accountable is lowering yourself So then that means that you want that person to lower themselves by holding themselves accountable Not she's he says she I'm I'm guessing I'm guessing that um, that's a in a relationship type thing You understand I'm saying My boy, ain't you ain't you going through it? Hold up. Why not tell them when you see they're messing up. Yeah Um, it's on them not holding not holding respect for you to see your perspective Okay Yeah, I said that tell them when you see them messing up tell them that is the only way You know I'm saying because some people just think That plucking someone When they're hungry is the right thing I'm going to keep plucking Jalisa when I'm hungry. Huh now her arm is going to start going to get Start getting sore I'm just thinking I'm just plucking her to get her attention But she like nigga this shit hurts I'm not going to know that until she tells me that And it's up to me and I'm not going to know that means you're hungry until you tell me communication so the thing is When she does tell me yo, dude, this hurts There's other ways to do this. You don't have to keep plucking me It's up to me to be like Damn you're right You know I'm saying you plucking me how would I like if you pluck me all the time, you know I'm saying But if I'm like man, you're taking out a big deal man. It's just a pluck. Yeah, I'm gonna just keep plucking you There's nothing Jalisa could do Because I'm not in a mental space to take accountability. I have to be in a mental space to receive the information You cannot force people to be accountable You cannot you can put it in their faces But you cannot force no one to be accountable, bro It sucks, but that's just how it is. But you have to keep leading by example though Exactly, you've got to keep leading by example. So if you know that you're doing the right thing, bro Do not start doing the wrong thing because she doing the wrong thing or because he doing the wrong thing, bro You have to be that leader keep doing what you're doing Do not lower yourself. They fall in line whenever they fall in line, bro. Certain people just uh mature and Stuff like that faster than other people, bro Them not holding respect for you to see your perspective Then they don't respect you, bro. And that's another thing you can't force. You can't force someone to respect you, bro You can't and if they don't respect you if they you feel like you're being disrespected Eliviate yourself from their situation, bro If this is a if this is a female you're dating, bro And she don't respect you as a and you were to do that's a big red flag, bro Big red flag and that's something that you guys should have a conversation about not an argument Have a conversation about it And you got it you got to play it smooth though, bro especially if y'all if y'all like in a type of relationship where If you bring up some shit, you know what's gonna turn into an argument. Oh my god, it's gonna be an argument Bro, you got to go under the bridge. So now you know What the outcome is if you bring certain shit up, right? So now you got to trick her now, right? Whatever y'all like to do she likes to She likes to go to applebees Tell her you taking her to applebees, bro. That's her favorite thing to do now. She's full of she's full of dope me Oh, she's she's happy. She's she's in a good mood, right? Then maybe when you get in the car or shoot while y'all at applebees or coming home from applebees, you know Do it on the ride home from applebees because y'all don't have a good time already, but you know damn short in the back You had you gonna holler about something So get her all happy give her a nice night and then talk to her, bro like your babe Remember the other night when you was plucking me in my arm That was really starting to hurt, bro You know what I'm saying like I ain't trying to come at you in no type of way, but That joint was that joint was hurting man And part of me wanted to tell you to stop but Honestly, I feel like if I had told you to stop we would have we just started arguing and I fucks with you too much To want to sit there and argue with you. I'd rather I'd rather talk to you Just like tonight when we was eating at two for 20 At applebees or like or like good talk if he was doing I'd rather have those type of communications with you But I ain't gonna lie. You got me on edge. We're even bringing up something to you because it turns into an argument But those plucks are starting to hurt man Like I'm not like no seriously you laughing at me, but I'm serious I would like really appreciate it if you could stop that now for real because now she's plucking my boy my boy mark I don't like that man. I don't like that No, just just holler up, bro. Oh, back in the building one time for the one time um It's not lowering yourself to acknowledge your own growth in development And you actually are more effective at leading and having a better ground to support them In or through their process. That's a fact That is a huge fact It is never lowering yourself to acknowledge your own growth. That's what I was saying. Yeah Yeah, yeah And we got my boy angel one time in the building angel. Thank you How christian of us Hey, bro, everything don't got to be met with violence man Everything don't got to be met with violence man. We got too much violence in this world We need to be kinder to each other. Hey angel if you don't want to take the hot road, bro You want the smoke? Hey, go ahead with the smoke show. It's not gonna get you nowhere But go ahead with the smoke show sometime the christian way Or the nicer way the higher road way, bro is better for your mental space I could tell by how many caps you put in those other Those other comments that you kind of salty, bro. You're salty about the situation That's not good. I don't want that for you angel. I don't want that for you I don't want you to be upset and you know I'm saying wanting to blow up and oh, I want you to get my Nah, bro. Don't force nobody to get on your hold on Don't force nobody to get on your type of time, bro. You know I'm saying you got to sit back Notice that you are awesome, bro The biggest lesson I learned in life, bro is that nobody is as awesome as me Nobody Nobody on the space of this earth is awesome as me, bro You know what I'm saying and that led me to believe that I Can't expect for people to be As awesome as me. So it doesn't hurt my feelings when somebody do some shit that I wouldn't that I wouldn't like I tell my kids that I tell my kids Be the best you can be no one is awesome as you I give that advice to everybody. I give that I would give that advice to cori joe That's right there in the chat that I'm about to read cori joe. You are the greatest I wouldn't Say that I'm the most awesome person because then there's no room for me to get better true and then um, what else you said you tell the kids To to be the best you could be yeah Always be the best you could be but don't think that you are the best because then you're gonna Not grow Yeah, but sometimes you don't say when you when you when you accept that you the best You Certain shit that other people do won't bother you that that goes into expectations Don't expect people to treat you how you treat them facts. There you go There you go. That's this but that those two things to me is synonymous You are not the same people. You don't think the same You don't you didn't grow up the same Even if you're in the same household each child grew up differently Yeah, so you can't expect for everyone to think how you think and move how you move Lower your expectations. Yeah I Feel bad for my boy angel man Is very christian of us to do the right thing. Um, my boy cori joe in the building It sounds like walking on eggshells to me I want to answer that because you keep answering Yes, take this be a soul Walking on eggshells is not good in a relationship And if you have to walk on eggshells to me that sounds like you did not Um set your boundaries and communicate in the beginning of your relationship so the the um People are always in that stage are always afraid to ask and tell people what they want We have to get out of that because then you'll end up in situations Where you have to walk on eggshells because you didn't set the Expectations of what you wanted in this relationship from the jump Now you fighting over This and that and no somebody's not holding accountable of something that you didn't tell them you would not like in the beginning Because you're afraid But you cannot be afraid if someone if you tell somebody I don't like this And they say oh well, I don't care about then that's not the person for you because obviously they can't Be what you want them to be I I strongly disagree with you with that baby. Um, because I hate I really hate when you use the term They're not the person for you Um, it sounds like quit to me And that's what people are doing right now so, um I stand for fight and when it comes to Walking on eggshells bro y'all people if you think walking on eggshells is a bad thing you you don't know how to navigate people You don't know how to manipulate people you got to learn learn how to manipulate people Sometimes you have to walk on eggshells, bro People walk on eggshells all the fucking time all the time bro in a relationship in a relationship in a relationship Yeah facts that's when it's bad when you have to walk on eggshells all the time But when I say people walk on eggshells all the time talk about in day-to-day stuff There's shit you won't say to your boss that you want to say to your boss There's certain things that you might have want to say to your parent that you ain't say that We do it or we do it when the time is right. Yeah Sometimes you have in a relationship You have to walk on eggshells because if you're trying to get what your agenda is across the board You have to know how to navigate You could call it walking on eggshells, but I can't just go to my wife and be like yo um Fucking something something weird that I know she's not going to take to I have to Walk around it maneuver around it If I want to get my way I got to maneuver around it Period how to talk to people and that's considered walking on eggshells. I just told him to take his girl out on a date Just to just to smooth out the mood because he knows that if You take your girl if you just go ahead and talk to your girl. It might be a fucking argument You know, you don't want that So you have to learn how to maneuver at that moment probably for that night You might have to walk on a couple eggshells I want to go back to what you said that you don't agree with me about So you get into a relationship with a female and she tells you um I don't I'm talking to you, but I'm also talking to this person that person that person And you tell her well, I don't want you to be I want to stay exclusive You're telling me that you have to fight through that and say no No, no, so that's what I'm saying. You got to set those boundaries in in the beginning like Yeah, I get what you're saying with that, but if I'm in a relationship with somebody Um, but before you even get into that relationship, okay, then then walking away. Is it bad if if we did We don't have something established. I'm talking about in the beginning I'm not talking about later on down the line after y'all don't know in the beginning you have to set What you expect out of a relationship and tell people what you don't like what you like That sounds great in a book That sounds great on paper. It sounds awesome, but we all know that there's stages Two relationships And that first stage in the beginning is the fakest stage And that's what I'm saying people have to get out of that fake stop being fake That doesn't get people. We all we all do it To some extent I'm not saying I'm I'm not saying to be extra nice and of course you got to do those things But when it comes to your morals and your hardcore morals, it needs to be expressed in the beginning Before you build up something and then realize We don't we're not on the same path. You're gonna Your paths go like that instead of together Yeah, that's true. That's bars. That's bars. I fuck with that But don't don't be afraid y'all core. We don't be afraid to walk on a couple of excels, bro If you if you've ever been in a relationship, you've walked on a couple of excels Don't don't take it as oh you being a bitch or whatever like that. It's it's fine, bro. It's fine. My boy angel Dropping the bag today with the next two dollars saying it's our only road. What's the way? What's our only road? To walk on eggshells No, that's not It doesn't have to be that way. You know i'm saying um You know your situation, bro You know your situation you a man, right? You dealing with somebody You got to learn how to navigate that person Or just deal with the bull that part of the bullshit, bro. And that's another thing about relationships You're gonna deal with some shit you don't like There's some shit that's gonna be about this person that you just don't like bro But is the overall picture worth fighting for Is the overall picture worth fighting for this 365 days in a year How many of those 365 days? Are you walking on eggshells? How many of those 365 days do you have to find yourself? Taking that road If the answer is like 150 100 and i think that's a little bit too much But if you're only going through this shit about 10 times a year, bro, get over it. My g That's just something that you just don't agree with with your girl and you probably just have to grow together in the relationship And that's it, bro But i'ma tell you this i'ma tell you this all of this shit that's going around the internet with oh Oh, this person ain't for me and and this that i'm telling you those is up to this us men to keep Keep shit together It's up to us men to keep shit together You got to ask yourself is this girl worth keeping this shit together for? If you love this girl, you know, you love her bro. She a heart my nigga you gotta You got to suck some stuff up bro and let's be patient with some things Be patient with some things If you especially if y'all got kids together, bro, if y'all got kids together, it's a lot of you got to suck up together, man You know i'm saying it don't look at it as the only road or eggshells. I don't like those terms man We men in here, bro We do things that we got to do in this world, bro We have to do you don't think i walk on eggshells for this chick right here, bro You don't think i do that, bro That but that's because i know how to navigate her, but guess what i know how to get my way That's a fact even if i had to walk on that extra it don't matter i got my way i got the job done You can't just be blunt about which you i'll be blunt with you a dude with my lady i navigate her I navigate my chick bro i could be super blunt i don't never walk on the eggshell for a dude never But with my lady i am not embarrassed to do that bro There's no dude on this earth That can make me feel embarrassed about doing that because i know i am married to an emotional being And this is how you would navigate emotions. You got to know how to tiptoe through that shit You got to bro. That's relationships That's relationships, bro And it's not even a huge deal because you're not gonna do that most of the time You're gonna have to do it sometimes just like sometimes with even with parenting There's gonna be some things about parenting that you don't like just because there's some things about parenting You don't like you're gonna stop being a father That's what we are as men. That's that's our qualities Nowadays is really to give up on the family, bro Don't look at it that way angel. I'm gonna email you one day, bro. I'm gonna ask you how your relationship going, man Courage your back in the building I only learn about boundaries in therapy. Whoo Not walking on shells, okay tactic approach Certain um situations and use it understanding and how to navigate Okay, you don't you don't like to walk in on eggshells tactic. Okay okay But use the understanding and learn how to know and how to navigate walking on eggshells and navigation to me is the same thing Walking on eggshell because you you got to you got to walk on an eggshell to know how to avoid it To know how to avoid what? You don't know the eggshell is there. You have to actually step on it in order to learn how to Go around it true true true Learn how to navigate. Okay, but put it that way then Fuck the eggshell stuff, right? Because to me it seems like you guys think the whole eggshell uh Term is like something soft or something. You just won't put your head to navigation exactly Learn how to navigate people Learn how to navigate people My boy cori jose in the building Learn how to navigate people. That's what we work and everything Mr. Smith in the building one time for the one time With 66,000 subscribers. How are there only 16 people? Oh man We got to do something to help promote these streams quality deserves In audience Listen man, let's let's yo mr. Smith. I wholeheartedly agree with you bro. Um It is embarrassing But i'ma tell you this right now This is how me alan jelisa This how we go. This how we will go viral y'all. Y'all ready for the source. I know how to do it already And how to do it negativity negativity Or something that's going to embarrass us bro I got to come on my freaking podcast one day and I got a rub Putting on my wife's chest While i'm talking to her some stupid shit and probably farting her face Do some stupidness and then it's gonna just Take off like never before Or if jelisa slaps fire out of me on air boom Then i'm like, oh She don't play girl. Oh, share this. Oh, yeah, we hot girl summer. Fuck these niggas And then they go and share it bro. The positivity doesn't get shared. We get it, bro Um, honestly, we didn't go viral until I started posting controversial clips I get it bro, and I'd be at this computer like Man, I really want this message to go far, but I know this message ain't gonna go far. I made a clip saying that um I Do I need a woman or one woman and I said I need a woman. I need my wife You know because a lot of people have a problem with that need word And I said I need my wife because my wife is feminine and I need feminine energy around me Not that I need her financially or not like that, but I need her feminine energy. I need her touch. You know what I'm saying? So That clip I was expecting to do well, bro Really? Yeah five thousand views stopped right there a hundred shares That's a lot Not compared to what's booming on our channel now A half a million and You know what I'm saying like 30,000 shares bro like you compare that to that it's like damn bro like But I get it though, bro. Um, but the the most we can do Is keep working um people in this space Uh, we just have to keep working and um make make this conversation a thing or just Ignore the negativity Like what I tell the girls, you know Somebody come to you talking about somebody else. We're like, I don't want to hear that. Yeah That's true My boy oi back in the building. It just takes longer for great fruit to blossom That's a fact How long does it take for diamonds to be made or they took like millions millions of years, bro? No, no, don't wait Yeah, no, don't wait millions of years. Don't wait. Don't wait millions of years, bro But patience is definitely a virtue. There are some people That just pieces of shit and you go and wait for a diamond from a piece of dunke and it's not going to happen, bro It's going to stay dunke is just the dunke is going to dry up a little bit more Like you're going to expect for the transform is never going to happen But um patience is definitely a virtue. Um, you do need some type of patience But with that patience you have to notice growth Huh and understanding And understanding as well and that's something that I struggled with your oi an angel and court I've struggled with understanding for years in my marriage. We've been together 18 years. I think it took year 15 For me to actually start understanding her 14 or 15 for me to start actually taking the time to understand What the hell she was saying? Because I was always on some Listen to me, bro. This is what I say is lord. You ain't not I'm smarting This that in the third like I know what's best And not hearing nothing this human being right here is saying During the argument. I'm listening to respond. We both was doing that But we really wasn't hearing each other. We wasn't really hearing each other and if you don't hear nobody you can't understand I think I think arguments can be healthy if you argue the right way You gotta know how to argue. I think I know how to argue a little bit better now Yeah, you know if you could learn something from an argument because usually in an argument some truth Is gonna come out that you ain't never heard before but you gotta take heed to that shit it works because like You be being all the mature one. I'm like pain. I gotta do I can't have him showing me out But that came with understanding though like you know, I'm saying I'll be if if it's not If it's not worth taking it to that next step and going crazy I'm not gonna allow it to do that You understand I'm saying that's why I'm always I'm not always the I bet we got a cool out good at sometimes I'll be tight too But if we in the middle of something it's not even worth are you taking it somewhere where it don't need to be It's my duty. It's my job as the man to be the rational person not saying that you're irrational person But I do take pride in being a man, bro I take pride in being a man, but I'm just a different type of man than These guys on the internet that gets the thousands and thousands of views Because I actually have a successful I have a family. That's a successful nice beautiful family I have one of those those other guys on the internet that's talking all this relationship and family shit. Don't have one I don't understand how they're giving advice to have something they don't got I don't understand the reason why when I speak and a lot of people like oh No, I don't want to do that It's because you're not willing to put in that work I had I had a conversation with my brother, right? a couple years ago Got into my car. I had just bought a scat pack, right? We out we chilling boom boom when we driving around, right? And he just has a ring right, oh The reason why you got all this stuff is because of the army boom through a temperature, right? We had an argument reason why you got all this stuff Is because you went to the army, right? That's how he felt, right? So, you know what I said to him I said, all right, bro. So if you want some of the shit I got then join the army You can have it You know what his response was I ain't joining no fucking army. I ain't doing that. Now anybody gonna tell me what the All right, bro So you can't expect to have what I have if you're not willing to do what I've done You can't I am a very transparent person I will I will express my flaws I will express my insecurities Because what the hell is all you're gonna do to me Or ain't you ain't you can't do nothing to me But I would give these guys some advice some real shit even if I feel wrong To teach my fellow brother to be better You know what I'm saying and that's just how I've always been and that's why I think I am put in the position to give this advice But the hard part is going to be for people to get their mind right and listen to it. It works Bro, I wish I could take you out on the tour of my house I wish I could do these I can't because we're on the podcast But it works the route that I took works. Y'all niggas y'all want to go out here and make babies with these girls Y'all want to fall in love and then fall out because you want to get your dick hard. You better stop I'm telling you choose that one and stick with her, bro Stick with her, bro. I'm telling you unless it's completely super duper toxic But if your reasoning for leaving your family or leaving your girl, whatever the case may be It's because you want some new pussy, bro. That's not a good enough reason at all It would never be a good enough reason And I see that happening a whole lot Yo, man, I'm still young bro. I gotta go out there and be some of these girls. What that mean? You still young so what you gonna wait till you old to settle down settle down with what? Settle down with what? You better go what you know and stop trying to be curious. George. I'm telling you I probably lost some viewers, but it's the truth guys. It is the truth It is the truth learn to stick with something But if it's if it's super toxic making you super unhappy or whatever the case may be in fine Go ahead and leave or whatever, but I do not believe in breaking up a family. I came up. I grew up in a broken home I know what effect that shit has on especially children. I do not advocate for that I don't want that for anybody especially in a black community. I come from a broken home I know what that shit is what it's like and I know what it leads to it doesn't leads to prosperity It leads to depressed as people like myself If It depressed it made me super depressed I grew up sad. I grew up wanting a family I grew up wanting my mother and my father to be together I grew up being jealous of my friends because they got a mother and a father Because my mother and my father decided I want something I want to leave leave just leave just oh leave Didn't consider the shit out and didn't consider the kids at all I grew up that way, bro I grew up that way. You know who came to my freaking my my graduation in the military from my family nobody Nobody bro, you know came to my marriage my wedding nobody even over small nobody though You know who came and visited me when I was in in in the army living out there Louisiana from my family nobody Nobody I know where this shit leads to stop quitting Because you get to a fucking hardship Stop quitting I know that was a rant, but I just got into A zone right there because I I see so many people and then even people in the comments and on instagram They say oh It sounds like this dude needs needs a girl. It's not about me needing a girl, bro We need to be together. We need family in our community We need family and as us being the adults. It's up to us to keep our families together We need structure That's what we need all of this. Oh just go ahead and move on to the next one that this person ain't for you Bro pick your person and make it work with that person, bro Pick your person make it work with that person even if it's the christian route, bro It would benefit your freaking kids, bro It would benefit society at the end of the day It's not easy It's not easy. Nobody ever said it would be easy But you got to do the hard thing guys come on now You got to do the hard thing And it's up to us men to Start doing the hard thing. How are we going to expect for our women to do the hard thing if we ain't doing the hard thing, bro We the leaders we got to do this shit first We were starting all these years and what they did followed us They follow us bro. They do what we do We have to be the first people to do this shit, man You want some women to fight hard to do do the hard thing and you want to do the easy shit or think get out of here, man That's just sounds dumb Yeah, so um, yeah, that was My little spiel on togetherness guys. Jesus christ We got any more in the bill. I've probably been scared of all of the viewers They probably don't he was just talking about ranting and quarry quarry in the building one time for the one time, man I just let him talk. Yeah Yeah, I'm a listener I'm not a talker. I love the fact that you listen though, too Yo, you know what I you know what I want to talk to them about um How how we feel about um opposites attract And um and me saying that I don't feel like opposites Attract too much. I think that you have to in relationships. You have to have more in common Then you know I'm saying you don't think we're opposite. I don't think we're super opposite, baby. I think I will core Our who we really are like as kids like growing up. I think We're very similar in those ways. I think that life. Yeah, I think that life has allowed us to Like uh change certain and alter certain uh feelings or whatever But the ultimate goal is the same. It's the same, baby It or very very similar like you know saying very soon. You're low-key. I'm low-key, bro I'm low-key. That was just low-key That was me. That was me showing love, bro. That was me showing love, bro Honestly, man, I really do love people, bro. Yeah, and I really do want to see people do better. That's it That's it. I will help anyone out free of charge. I don't You know this already, baby. You know, you know this come on out And this is for years. I've I've been I've been helping people just for years, bro. Just to do it never act look Shot plenty of music videos when I was living in New York for zero dollars just so I could see someone else do good Just so I could give someone a good look This is legit what I do guys and it's it is really coming from a place of caring because I really do feel that I'm a leader I really do feel that way and um I believe in us, man. I believe in us and I believe in you. I believe in our women. I believe in our children You know um I believe in us and I love us man. You know what I'm saying? But you're right. You're right. You guys have to leave and Shut the example. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's true. That's true But yo, we're gonna wrap this episode up of we need to talk You know, I'm saying um as you guys know We're doing this collaboration with my boy allen on the we need to talk platform and as you can see we are the we need to talk podcast um You can catch us here every wednesday man talking our stuff talking our stuff. Hopefully next week we can have a panelist You know, I'm saying It says around eight ish around eight ish. Yeah around eight ish. Yeah, um With a with a couple of people here, you know, I'm saying give some more perspectives and stuff like that We were supposed to have some today for you guys, but uh Things didn't work out. But um, hopefully By next week we can have somebody if not on these microphones here We can pull somebody up on this tv right here. We could chop it up Get some more perspective. Um, if you guys want to come through and subscribe to our channel Uh, you could hit us up over on youtube at wntt pod You know i'm saying we should be tagged somewhere along the either the description or the or the uh the title Come through show some support watch some videos like subscribe share do all the good things But first make sure you do like and subscribe to this channel here Please give us give them a like and show some support and um as always guys Okay, we're going to read this last chat before we get up out of here. Um, but my boy philip williams Um my first time listening. I love what you're saying. Good luck with the podcast. It's coming along well I appreciate you bro. Um That was that was dope. I really appreciate that man before we leave you also get your tickets to The 100 it's june 24th in irland. Yeah. Yeah, yo get your tickets um I don't know they might they might have a surprise coming through for that too as well But um, definitely go ahead and get your tickets support that that's going to be epic epic I see nothing but viral viral clips going everywhere with that with that event right there man I think you're going to do your thing with that But um, you guys you guys see the uh the chat down there go ahead and get your tickets show that support And you already know what time it is. It's your boy convo Peace